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Post by December on Aug 5, 2017 14:23:03 GMT -5
Instead of: Everyone always leaves/you're the only person who hasn't abandoned me yet. Try: I have a lot of abandonment issues, and I might need occasional reminders that I'm important to you.
Instead of: You say you're going to stay, but you won't. Try: Sometimes, my poor self-esteem makes it hard for me to believe people when they reassure me, but that's not your fault.
Instead of: I can't help what I do or say during a breakdown. Try: While I can't get rid of my mental illness and it would be unfair of you to ask me to, I also don't have the right to say and do whatever I want to my loved ones just because I'm not doing well right now. You're still a person who deserves respect. I'll do my best to treat you fairly, and I'll apologize and immediately fix my behavior when I make mistakes.
Instead of: But I said sorry! It's over now! Try: I realize that apologies don't fix everything. I hope you can forgive me, but I know you don't owe me endless forgiveness.
Instead of: You're the reason I haven't killed myself yet. Try: I'm trying to get through my suicidal thought by remembering how it would affect my loved ones.
Instead of: I'm not going to hurt myself because of you. Try: Thank for you for helping me cope with my impulses to self-harm.
Instead of: Promise me you won't abandon me. Try: Promise to communicate with me about what's going on in our relationship.
Instead of: I would fall apart if you left me. Try: You make me happy.
Instead of: I need you. Try: You are important to me.
Instead of: I would be dead/lost/etc. without you. Try: I'm really glad you're in my life.
Instead of: just immediately starting to vent about potentially distressing concepts with no regard to how others might feel. Try: asking if you can unload - and making absolutely sure the other person knows that they can always say no without being guilted or attacked.
Instead of: making your loved ones feel responsible for your mental health. Try: building an environment of mutual support based on trust, communication, and understanding.
I know a lot of you guys are young, so it's important that you learn the difference between healthy communication and expressions of affection, and somebody using their mental illness to exert subtle control over you and make you feel guilty/obligated to them. These types of things and really mess you up, dudes.
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Post by argyle lechuga on Aug 5, 2017 14:24:06 GMT -5
dang man i wish i had known this stuff a few years ago
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Sapphic
capture
living la dolce vita, im in love ★
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PSA
Aug 5, 2017 14:24:08 GMT -5
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December likes this
Post by capture on Aug 5, 2017 14:24:08 GMT -5
preach
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PSA
Aug 5, 2017 14:25:24 GMT -5
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capture likes this
Post by December on Aug 5, 2017 14:25:24 GMT -5
dang man i wish i had known this stuff a few years ago Me, too, tbh. Nobody deserves to deal with this kind of behavior.
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Sapphic
capture
living la dolce vita, im in love ★
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Post by capture on Aug 5, 2017 14:27:18 GMT -5
and yee i have to agree w miles/ april. some of this is kinda abusive, and abuse sucks, and its worse when people side with the abuser :/ makes them just as bad as the abuser
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Post by December on Aug 5, 2017 14:30:16 GMT -5
and yee i have to agree w miles/ april. some of this is kinda abusive, and abuse sucks, and its worse when people side with the abuser :/ makes them just as bad as the abuser Yeah, I feel you! For anyone reading this who has any doubts about my intentions: this is absolutely and explicitly a thread about warning signs of emotional abuse. I should've used the word in my OP, because that's what I'm referencing.
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Post by PatienceTheVirtue on Aug 5, 2017 14:35:13 GMT -5
Me, mentally adding check marks next to each "before" phrase: yikes. Time 2 run
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2017 16:16:06 GMT -5
I wish I knew this before, i feel awful now
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PSA
Aug 5, 2017 16:30:25 GMT -5
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Post by December on Aug 5, 2017 16:30:25 GMT -5
I wish I knew this before, i feel awful now It's okay. It's so hard to know when you're young. It's honestly something that needs to be emphasized more, because healthy relationships (romantic, platonic, familial, whatever) are so important, but so many people have no idea what a healthy relationship actually looks like until it's too late.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2017 16:57:29 GMT -5
Thank you for posting this <3
Past me really needed to know these, and present me greatly appreciates that someone is spreading the word so more people can be aware of red flags in what could be an abusive relationship. Mental illnesses are not things to romanticize; not only do they hurt the person suffering but they also can have detrimental affects on anyone close to said victim.
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PSA
Aug 5, 2017 21:47:53 GMT -5
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Post by December on Aug 5, 2017 21:47:53 GMT -5
Thank you for posting this <3 Past me really needed to know these, and present me greatly appreciates that someone is spreading the word so more people can be aware of red flags in what could be an abusive relationship. Mental illnesses are not things to romanticize; not only do they hurt the person suffering but they also can have detrimental affects on anyone close to said victim. No problem! I agree. I guess it's just gotten to the point where it's something I'm done not talking about, especially when there are younger kids here who need someone to tell them this stuff before it's too late.
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