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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 19:21:34 GMT -5
"i'm sorry i haven't been answering your texts. i went to a maxillofacial surgeon for my TMD but learned i don't have TMD-- i have trigeminal neuralgia-- so i have to get an MRI to see if i have a tumor on my trigeminal nerve that's causing numbness and pain that's probably not gonna be curable. and then the next day at the dentist we saw a white lesion that was first spotted 3 weeks ago was still there so i have to see if it's a tumor too" isn't really a nice text to send ya know and i hate it when friends worry about me but i'm kinda Done
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 19:32:47 GMT -5
i just kinda don't want to exist anymore that's all but i don't want anyone to worry about me even tho i feel Awful
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Post by Northstar3213 on Aug 1, 2017 19:50:58 GMT -5
Well you gotta be honest with them. With what's been going on and how you've been feeling.
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Post by Numquam on Aug 1, 2017 19:58:08 GMT -5
Just be honest with them.
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Post by 🆉🅴🅻🅳🆁🅸🆂 on Aug 1, 2017 20:14:01 GMT -5
Be honest
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 20:15:47 GMT -5
be honest about not wanting to talk.
this may sound callous, but you don't owe anyone anything. it's understandable that you're tired of explaining everything to everyone.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 20:19:30 GMT -5
tell them as much as ur comfortable with. if you dont want them to worry then a text such as 'sorry i havent been answering, ive been really busy with medical stuff lately but im ok' would be enough.
as a friend, its natural for them to worry and saying nothing would probably be worse than anything. they dont need to know all the details but giving them just a little bit of info would probably be best if youre not comfortable telling them the whole thing. good luck either way, and i hope you dont have a tumor or anything nasty like that. sending good vibes ur way
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 20:22:16 GMT -5
be honest about not wanting to talk. this may sound callous, but you don't owe anyone anything. it's understandable that you're tired of explaining everything to everyone. it's not that i'm tired of explaining. i'm just tired of every friend acting like i've told them i'm actively dying because of a tumor we know is malignant when really we don't even know if there's a tumor in either place yet you know
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 20:23:32 GMT -5
tell them as much as ur comfortable with. if you dont want them to worry then a text such as 'sorry i havent been answering, ive been really busy with medical stuff lately but im ok' would be enough. as a friend, its natural for them to worry and saying nothing would probably be worse than anything. they dont need to know all the details but giving them just a little bit of info would probably be best if youre not comfortable telling them the whole thing. good luck either way, and i hope you dont have a tumor or anything nasty like that. sending good vibes ur way thanks. i'm just really not sure how to relay this news to friends in a way that isn't worrying. far as i know there's no way to tell someone there's a tumor possibility in one place, let alone two places, w/o them worrying but it's super tiring for me bc while everyone's worried i think they're forgetting i'm dealing w this more than they are
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 20:42:40 GMT -5
Imo if they're good friends they should be able to both express concern for you, but then also obviously just act normal/themselves around you and carry on with life as it is? Esp if it's someone you spend a decent amount of time with/talking to, I feel like always having convos about tumors and scary medical stuff just gets draining on anyone after awhile, so most people with any common sense shouldn't push the subject too far.
And if they do start talking about it too much, maybe just kinda pull them aside and let them know gently that it would make you feel better to talk about something else/you don't want your medical issues getting in the way of having Good Times (TM) with them?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 20:48:09 GMT -5
Imo if they're good friends they should be able to both express concern for you, but then also obviously just act normal/themselves around you and carry on with life as it is? Esp if it's someone you spend a decent amount of time with/talking to, I feel like always having convos about tumors and scary medical stuff just gets draining on anyone after awhile, so most people with any common sense shouldn't push the subject too far. And if they do start talking about it too much, maybe just kinda pull them aside and let them know gently that it would make you feel better to talk about something else/you don't want your medical issues getting in the way of having Good Times (TM) with them? thanks i'm just mostly tired bc i don't rlly have a group of friends so i've had to tell several people i care about v much this same news multiple times. it's not like i told a group and they can then tell each other. but it's the same conversation like. 5 times now.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 20:52:06 GMT -5
@striker Well that sounds frustrating :/ If I were you I'd definitely try and space them out a little bit so you don't overtire yourself with the news. Like if you don't talk to every single one of them every single day maybe (as an example) tell one or two people Thursday, give yourself a break on Friday, then tell another person or two Saturday, or something like that. I find breaking the same news over and over again to multiple people in the same day not only is exhausting, it also makes me irritable (because I feel like I'm going off some script or something) and then by the time you get to the last person you don't wanna come off as angry, I guess?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 20:53:26 GMT -5
@striker Well that sounds frustrating :/ If I were you I'd definitely try and space them out a little bit so you don't overtire yourself with the news. Like if you don't talk to every single one of them every single day maybe (as an example) tell one or two people Thursday, give yourself a break on Friday, then tell another person or two Saturday, or something like that. I find breaking the same news over and over again to multiple people in the same day not only is exhausting, it also makes me irritable (because I feel like I'm going off some script or something) and then by the time you get to the last person you don't wanna come off as angry, I guess? i know you mean well but tbh that sounds 500x worse bc then i have to look forward to telling people the same news for like a week when i could do it all in one day, and that also leaves certain people knowing for days longer than others
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 20:57:08 GMT -5
Ahhh true. Well then, the best alternative I could say is that maybe do something you find refreshing/revitalizing in between telling people, as a sort of reward for getting through the conversation(s). Just to give yourself a little mental break.
But yeah I know what you mean, having to spread it out might just make it that much worse. Hopefully they all go ok for you, stressful situations like that are such a bummer.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 21:02:33 GMT -5
Ahhh true. Well then, the best alternative I could say is that maybe do something you find refreshing/revitalizing in between telling people, as a sort of reward for getting through the conversation(s). Just to give yourself a little mental break. But yeah I know what you mean, having to spread it out might just make it that much worse. Hopefully they all go ok for you, stressful situations like that are such a bummer. that's a good idea. i can def think of some thing i can do between telling people to make myself feel not as bad thank u
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