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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Jun 26, 2019 10:56:01 GMT -5
Speaking of, I've been listening to The Dear Hunter again. If that doesn't deserve a musical I don't know what does. I looked it up and it does seem pretty cool! Greek mythology is always fun. None of the songs have really grabbed me yet though. Wow, that's impressive! And they are - I think I'm liking Crowley more with each episode. ('Very' for you, 'a bit' for us. Might've told you before actually, I was very shocked when I found out ) They're a book series (that I actually still haven't read, whoops). I found the fic while browsing for Night Vale stuff and it was too good for me not to read. Go for it! Do you post on any Morganville Vampires or general sites as well?
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Jun 26, 2019 11:13:29 GMT -5
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Jun 26, 2019 17:04:29 GMT -5
Speaking of, I've been listening to The Dear Hunter again. If that doesn't deserve a musical I don't know what does. I looked it up and it does seem pretty cool! Greek mythology is always fun. None of the songs have really grabbed me yet though. Wow, that's impressive! And they are - I think I'm liking Crowley more with each episode. ('Very' for you, 'a bit' for us. Might've told you before actually, I was very shocked when I found out ) They're a book series (that I actually still haven't read, whoops). I found the fic while browsing for Night Vale stuff and it was too good for me not to read. Go for it! Do you post on any Morganville Vampires or general sites as well? Dear hunter? I know that was an artist I tossed out, right? Crowley's awesome and I totally agree. Wow. I didn't even know that. XD I didn't know that was another thing the word meant. Or maybe I did and just never thought of it. Also dates! Because we're weird and do it 6/26/19 when it makes more sense to go 26/6/19. I need to read it I guess! Or the fic. XD I've yet to browse WtNV fics, but fan art/short comics yeas. There are no MV sites as far as I'm aware. There's a total of something like 7 fics on Archive of Our Own for Morganville Vampires and not much more on Wattpad. No idea about fan fiction . net, but when I google search the first results were weird so I dare not go deeper. DA has a couple, but most of them are Myrnin X Reader. Unsurprisingly. *sighs in exasperation* I post so of my stuff there, if they're short. I post them here or toss it at friends and I get a moderate amount of interest from those I shove them at. Ha ha. I've been trying to think of places I could possibly put them. With it being so niche, it's more just writing them to write them or writing them for the people I RP with.
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Jul 15, 2019 18:47:54 GMT -5
I think you put them on one of your playlists... He really is! That church scene! You could say it's quite surprising. And yes! Although you write it out the way people tend to say it. Ooh, there are so many good wtnv fics! Mostly from the first few years. Here's the one I was talking about if you want to check it out. I don't think we've talked about wtnv... How caught up are you?Ouch, that's a shame. I don't know of any other places - your best bet may still be taking over the otw here for your own benefit.
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Jul 16, 2019 22:52:39 GMT -5
Yeeeee. I'll have to find it again. XD I forgot about it.
YYYYYYES. True enough!
Cool! I'll look at it!
We haven't. I only recently started listening. I'm episode 110 or something regardless. XD Been bingeing it as best as possible.
Yep! OTW is where I'm going. I'm currently writing a full blown novel for it now. Thankfully, it's from a POV of a character that I 'created' (read: ripped from history) and only that. There's a limited number of canon characters since it takes place in the 1500s. So far it's going really well. I'm doing a ... ton ... of research. I have 20 books checked out on that time alone. Arthur Dee is a wonderful character. Really fun.
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Jul 19, 2019 16:20:43 GMT -5
They come recommended... by your past self as well as me xD
And now I've got hold of the book, and I'm getting to fall in love with all the details that didn't make it into the show
I've been more or less caught up for a year, listening for maybe a year and a half. I remember there are some really exciting episodes around where you are!
That sounds like some... intense research cx But from what little I know (read: looked up on wikipedia) he seems to be worth it! Best of luck with the research and the novel
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Jul 19, 2019 20:00:33 GMT -5
XD I guess so! I should take the recommendation. You are. You are indeed. I have already. And I've fallen in love with the details which were in the show and not the book. Now I'm episode 123 I think. You're right. Where I was was really exciting. I can't wait to see what's next.Looking up on wikipedia was how I found him to begin with. Most of his records and history were burned in a London fire (no clue which one. I think there have been multiple). So now I need to work on reading about the time period. I should also reread the one article I found of him, but I'm writing about when he was in his 20s and the article if from when he was 40 and 80, I think? And thank you!
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Jul 23, 2019 12:01:16 GMT -5
You really, really should...
Yes! The TV show is very faithful but all the details are very fun to spot. Especially the extra british jokes.
Wait til you get to the ending of the season that just finished. Not gonna spoil it, but it was pretty much torture waiting two weeks for some of the episodes. Also, what do you think of the 'story abouts'?
Probably the Great Fire given his time period? It's a shame that the records are gone because they'd probably have been fascinating, but I guess that means you have more artistic license. I was actually reading a really good (non fiction) book set in the 1600s, although it's about counterfeiting rather than alchemy.
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Jul 24, 2019 1:10:56 GMT -5
Oh the jokes! I love the jokes! I miss the characters they had to cut for time. ;-; I like the story about! They're really cool! I'm to the point where Mayor Cardinal's double (another double) tried to kill her.I mean, apparently he kept being put on trail and he kept getting off. Including for murder. Watch me go all out of creative liberties. I miiiiiight know what you speak of, but I'm interested?
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Jul 25, 2019 17:14:07 GMT -5
And the running joke about Queen! I get that that would've been hard to show on TV, but still The book has so many excellent minor characters I'm glad! Honestly they're some of my favourite episodes, so yeah So many doubles... That was a very good arc, too. And you've only got one year's worth left to go...That settles it, he definitely had access to some kind of witchcraft. Creative liberties or no creative liberties. Newton and the Counterfeiter? If it isn't, please tell me what you think it is because I'd definitely be interested in it
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Jul 25, 2019 20:03:38 GMT -5
Yeeeees. The running joke about Queen! I loved that. There was just the nod to the people who had read the books in the show because Queen makes up over 70% of the soundtrack. It does indeed! The four other horsemen.
I do indeed. I haven't listened to anything new recently but I need to!
Apparently he sold a guy a fake unicorn horn and the guy took him either to court of it or complained about it a lot. I can't remember what it was. XD The Tsar was just done with him though. (Arthur was adviser to the then tsar of Russia.) He got kicked out of Russia, I think. I'm not sure. I need to reread stuff. But I'm also pretty sure he was a doctor without any sort of degree. And he was an alchemist. His father, John Dee, has made it into several books, movies, and games - most times as the magical, immortal antagonist. Me making this a paranormal fantasy is hardly a great stretch by any means. It's ... like ... no stretch at all.
Wow. I was off by a hundred years, never mind. The one I was thinking of is in the 1700s. I was thinking of The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue. XD My friend's read it, I have not, but it's on my list.
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Jul 29, 2019 16:42:41 GMT -5
That's true! The soundtrack's excellent anyway, but the Queen every time Crowley's in his car is a nice touch. I was really pleased when I read the book to find that there was a deeper meaning to it. And the four other horsemen are hilarious! Do it! Then you can start Alice Isn't DeadYou sort of feel that that's the other guy's fault, really xD Where did he say he'd got the horn from? I've definitely read about John Dee before - there was this one series where he was the enemy of Nicholas Flamel, I don't know if you know it? Non fiction rather than fiction The Gentleman's Guide is definitely on my list too, just wait until my money isn't going on getting set up for uni...
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Jul 29, 2019 17:18:32 GMT -5
Also, today's the second anniversary of this fic! I wanted to get chapter 19 up to celebrate, but at 11pm I can confirm that's not going to happen, so... have a deleted scene to make up. Part of an alternate chapter 10 (spoilers up to ch 6) where Ivypaw runs into Crowfeather. “Wait -” the tom says. “You’re from ThunderClan, aren’t you?”
“You know about ThunderClan?” she asks, guarded.
“It’s hard to not know about the Clans when you live next to them,” he says. “Now, have you heard about three loners, siblings, who came to the Clans at the end of greenleaf?”
His faded, hopeful blue eyes are fixed on her. She couldn’t lie to him. “Holly, Jay and Lion?”
“Yes, that’s them. Have they settled into the Clans? Which one? Are they okay?”
“ThunderClan,” Ivypaw says. “I think they’ve settled in fine. They seem okay.”
There’s no point telling him about the fallen tree, surely? Holly’s fine, Cinderpelt says so. Ivypaw’d only worry this tom, whoever he is.
“Good, good,” he says, although his expression is hard to read. “And how about Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw? And Tawnypelt? And Ashfoot - is she still the WindClan deputy?”
She nods. “They’re all fine, and yeah she is. You… seem to know a lot of Clan cats.”
He shrugs. She watches him through narrowed eyes, realising where she recognises his sleek, long-legged frame, his blunt manner of speech.
“You’re Crowfeather, aren’t you? Holly’s dad.” foxdance mintedstar/fur » ѕнαdσω ⚔️ ᴛᴜᴇsᴅᴀʏ ᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ✴ ❆αυяσяα @battlingfear prophet Mosspool Dingoleap ѕωιƒтƒαℓcση phantomstar57 ~Absol~Wolf~Scribe~ -` gumi ´- .✫ 🐾 vocebuleryThank you all for supporting me these past two years <3
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Post by » ѕнαdσω ⚔️ on Jul 30, 2019 11:18:31 GMT -5
Happy two year anniversary!!! :'D <3
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Aug 1, 2019 4:20:27 GMT -5
That's true! The soundtrack's excellent anyway, but the Queen every time Crowley's in his car is a nice touch. I was really pleased when I read the book to find that there was a deeper meaning to it. And the four other horsemen are hilarious! Do it! Then you can start Alice Isn't DeadYou sort of feel that that's the other guy's fault, really xD Where did he say he'd got the horn from? I've definitely read about John Dee before - there was this one series where he was the enemy of Nicholas Flamel, I don't know if you know it? Non fiction rather than fiction The Gentleman's Guide is definitely on my list too, just wait until my money isn't going on getting set up for uni... I love the book honestly. I recently reread, but I want to reread it again already. But I need to finish rereading some Terry Pratchett books first, because those are calling more strongly. I haven't actually looked into Alice Isn't Dead yet. o.o I don't remember. I don't think the article I read went into that much detail, ha ha. Wish it had. I'm still debating over whether I want to cover all of Arthur Dee's life or whether I just want to cover the bits I'm blatantly making up and fantasizing. That series is actually how I found out about Arthur Dee. The exact origin of this story I'm writing was that I was looking to keep up the canon pattern of a main character having dated historical figures (ex. Ada Lovelace & Lady Jane Grey the Nine Days Queen). So I was looking up John Dee because, as an alchemist, I thought it was a good place to start trying to find other historical characters to steal for the headcanoning. It did not work out. But being interested in history, I was just randomly reading through the rest of the stuff about John Dee when I ran across the fact that his son was an alchemist as well and had very little historical records during his early life. My bingo card was filled, completed, and submitted. I now have a main character. So the Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel is also completely to blame for this fic. Or at least the main character in it. I'm also going to blame it for the fact I was researching all of this in Sociology class and when my friend tried to talk to me about something which was actually important, I nearly fell out of my chair in surprise I was so distracted. This was completely that series fault. None of my own. Of course. (To be noted, it was before class started.) I actually have book 1 and 2 sitting out to reread, because despite the fact I was completely hooked, it somehow never got to read past book 2. I know. I am disappointed in myself every time I look at them. What's money? I keep spending it on books. I never see it.
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Aug 1, 2019 17:27:52 GMT -5
Happy two year anniversary!!! :'D <3 Thank you!!
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Aug 1, 2019 17:58:33 GMT -5
I love the book honestly. I recently reread, but I want to reread it again already. But I need to finish rereading some Terry Pratchett books first, because those are calling more strongly. I haven't actually looked into Alice Isn't Dead yet. o.o I don't remember. I don't think the article I read went into that much detail, ha ha. Wish it had. I'm still debating over whether I want to cover all of Arthur Dee's life or whether I just want to cover the bits I'm blatantly making up and fantasizing. That series is actually how I found out about Arthur Dee. The exact origin of this story I'm writing was that I was looking to keep up the canon pattern of a main character having dated historical figures (ex. Ada Lovelace & Lady Jane Grey the Nine Days Queen). So I was looking up John Dee because, as an alchemist, I thought it was a good place to start trying to find other historical characters to steal for the headcanoning. It did not work out. But being interested in history, I was just randomly reading through the rest of the stuff about John Dee when I ran across the fact that his son was an alchemist as well and had very little historical records during his early life. My bingo card was filled, completed, and submitted. I now have a main character. So the Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel is also completely to blame for this fic. Or at least the main character in it. I'm also going to blame it for the fact I was researching all of this in Sociology class and when my friend tried to talk to me about something which was actually important, I nearly fell out of my chair in surprise I was so distracted. This was completely that series fault. None of my own. Of course. (To be noted, it was before class started.) I actually have book 1 and 2 sitting out to reread, because despite the fact I was completely hooked, it somehow never got to read past book 2. I know. I am disappointed in myself every time I look at them. What's money? I keep spending it on books. I never see it. So many books, so little time... It's by one of the people who write wtnv, and the first season especially is very like a creepier wtnv. It's good!Both would make a good story. Just in slightly different genres. Ooh, snap! And that's a cool fic origin story. Clearly something out there wanted you to write about Arthur... Any other cool Arthur/John Dee facts you picked up? Oh dear... Definitely the book's fault And same about never reading past book 2, I think because at the time I got all my books from the library (I read too fast) and they didn't have book 3. PPft. I rarely see it either.
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Aug 2, 2019 1:54:01 GMT -5
I love the book honestly. I recently reread, but I want to reread it again already. But I need to finish rereading some Terry Pratchett books first, because those are calling more strongly. I haven't actually looked into Alice Isn't Dead yet. o.o I don't remember. I don't think the article I read went into that much detail, ha ha. Wish it had. I'm still debating over whether I want to cover all of Arthur Dee's life or whether I just want to cover the bits I'm blatantly making up and fantasizing. That series is actually how I found out about Arthur Dee. The exact origin of this story I'm writing was that I was looking to keep up the canon pattern of a main character having dated historical figures (ex. Ada Lovelace & Lady Jane Grey the Nine Days Queen). So I was looking up John Dee because, as an alchemist, I thought it was a good place to start trying to find other historical characters to steal for the headcanoning. It did not work out. But being interested in history, I was just randomly reading through the rest of the stuff about John Dee when I ran across the fact that his son was an alchemist as well and had very little historical records during his early life. My bingo card was filled, completed, and submitted. I now have a main character. So the Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel is also completely to blame for this fic. Or at least the main character in it. I'm also going to blame it for the fact I was researching all of this in Sociology class and when my friend tried to talk to me about something which was actually important, I nearly fell out of my chair in surprise I was so distracted. This was completely that series fault. None of my own. Of course. (To be noted, it was before class started.) I actually have book 1 and 2 sitting out to reread, because despite the fact I was completely hooked, it somehow never got to read past book 2. I know. I am disappointed in myself every time I look at them. What's money? I keep spending it on books. I never see it. So many books, so little time... It's by one of the people who write wtnv, and the first season especially is very like a creepier wtnv. It's good!Both would make a good story. Just in slightly different genres. Ooh, snap! And that's a cool fic origin story. Clearly something out there wanted you to write about Arthur... Any other cool Arthur/John Dee facts you picked up? Oh dear... Definitely the book's fault And same about never reading past book 2, I think because at the time I got all my books from the library (I read too fast) and they didn't have book 3. PPft. I rarely see it either. I keep forgetting I'm behind in my reading goal and I'm furious. XD Ooooo! I knew the first part, but I didn't really know anything about it besides that. Indeed, indeed. Yes! It is a cool origin. Now I have to keep reminding people Arthur isn't actually in the canon. They keep expecting him to be. I guess that's a good thing. Only I only know one person who's actually started reading the series, so I'm not sure what to make of that. And yes, must have been fate. My friend added him to the wiki as a joke. It still, to my knowledge, has not been taken down. Facts! Facts! I have oodles. XD Arthur Dee was charged with murdering this guy - they publicly didn't get along and I think Arthur owed him money or something. The problem is ... the jury couldn't seem to decide whether the man had been stabbed to death or poisoned! Apparently he'd been invited to diner with Arthur, but they got into an argument. The witnesses differ here, because one set says Arthur threw a knife at him and then a complete other one said that he'd been treating him for some illness or another but 'secretly' been poisoning him. My one question is ... if the guy had a stab wound, then doesn't that imply he was stabbed???? Where ??? Is there??? Confusion in this??? I hope I'm remembering the article right. I remember reading it near three in the morning and just dying with laughter because of all the stupid thing Arthur got out of. The end of the trail was lost, so I have no clue what they decided, but maybe Arthur managed to point out they were all idiots because seriously? We do at least know he ended up back in London, though that might just have meant Russia was tired of his stuff and kicked him out. He also, if I'm remembering, did something with a house? Like, went to great lengths to either sell it or buy it, I don't remember. But it got the Tzar's attention and I could just here the tzar shaking his head and going 'Dee, Dee ... if you weren't so smart, I'd say you were an idiot'. And Arthur just seemed to get reprimanded, put in front of a jury, or fined every other week in Russia. Or if he wasn't, his sons and grandsons were. Apparently Arthur got reprimanded for 'insulting' a woman. Said something like she wasn't that pretty, or something like that, and the girl's husband or father or brother - I don't know which - was furious. Then there was another scandal where Arthur and one of his sons I think? Were friends of this traitor soldier? Before they knew he was publicly? So they got taken to court for knowing him because they were apparently suspect too. All this while the guy was in his eighties or something. The article started off so dull with details about Arthur getting his dad's estate and assets and things after he died ... and then it turned into this and I was just ... is this a soap-opera? Please someone makes this a 17th century soap-opera! I beg of you! XD As for John Dee, I haven't looked as much into him. I know he was the Queen's Alchemist, but they had a falling out and he got kicked out of favor. He also had this 'friend' who stole his wife because 'the angels said so, so lets swap wives for a year, friend. It isn't because your wife is hot or anything like that' and very likely had a kid with her (not Arthur, Arthur was first born of the ... third? wife I want to say? So this was the second wife I think?) On the other hand, John was very polite to the wife he got and there were no questionably fathered children on his end. Then they switched back, I can't remember whether it was this wife or Arthur's mom, but one died from the plague as well as two of the daughters (Arthur's sisters, I believe? I think the half-sibs were fine?) at least that's what I remember from a book and a wiki page, so I still need to fact check literally everything in the above and below paragraph, but there wasn't a lot about these folk to begin with (in regards to how they relate to Arthur, at any rate) and at least they make for an interesting story. There's a reason this isn't historical fiction. But Arthur's life is already one big soap-opera anyway. Fact check I will, but until then I'm going to just continue shaking my head at this whole family. And this friend also stole like a bunch of John Dee's stuff. Very nice friend. Apparently he stole this thing or whatever that could make pure silver. Then the Queen locked him up, because apparently she could at least tell the guy was no good even though John couldn't. Well, John wants this thing that can turn out silver back (I think the item was a bowl?) and so he stages a jail break for this 'friend'. XD Literally it's a 'drug the guards and there a horse waiting out the window' situation. I don't know what he was expecting. Because of course this 'friend' just took the freebie jail break and never gave John the time of day. I can just hear him shouting 'Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuckers!' as he rides out of town. Apparently, before this 'friend' stole it, little teenage Arthur saw this miracle bowl, and it inspired him to follow in his father's footstep. I actually kind of worked a version of that last sentence into the fic. I know there was a bunch more crazy stuff, but I already wrote three paragraphs. XD At the time, my library had 1 and 2 on audiobook, and then a random selection throughout the rest of the series. That is still the case.
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Aug 2, 2019 12:40:55 GMT -5
Did a bit of research last night on the end bit for John Dee. The main points are accurate, the finer details are foggy. At least from what I'm reading about this friend. On the one hand, people are wondering if he had some form of mental illness, but the more accepted view was he was a flat out liar who strung John Dee along for all he was worth. I can see either one or maybe even both. That guy just had a very interesting story.
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Post by valleylight on Aug 14, 2019 10:53:07 GMT -5
(I hope you don't mind, but my comment sort of became a review XD. I tend to write reciprocally to the amount of time I put into reading things.)
WOW, this is a fantastic story! I love your writing style, and even though I'm more used to past-tense narratives, the present-tense really lends itself to your description and dialogue. (Not to mention how poignant it is to read a time-fluid story in the present tense! Awesome touch that brings yet another layer of thematic weight.) Your premise is fascinating, but put into practice this expertly, it's downright riveting.
As far as characters go, Ivypaw and Holly are well written, realistically flawed, and sympathetically motivated. I especially love how you factored into Holly's character her upbringing with Crowfeather, while still retaining the essential traces of her canon personality. AND SOL. I hated Sol's canonical character because he just felt so poorly explained and implemented. This incarnation of Sol is like night and day compared to the original; his personality feels in-canon, but it's infinitely augmented by an explanation for his existence-- one that isn't just fleshed-out, isn't just narrative-relevant, but is integral to what makes this story what it is. The story and Sol's character elevate each other, and I think that sort of symbiosis is always indicative of great writing and authorial vision. I never thought I'd say this of Sol, but he is definitely my favorite character here.
As far as technicalities go, your writing is stellar. Vivid and powerful descriptions abound without ever feeling superfluous or weighty, and your dialogue is excellent. Nearly every time a cat speaks, what they have to say feels relevant, in-character, and realistically colloquial. (Cat-loquial?) If I had to critique anything, it would be that the present-tense structure sometimes confuses noun cases, but it's never distracting and certainly detracts nothing from the story.
Overall, I don't think I could've started off with a better story. The amount of time and care you've put into BaH is clear in every chapter, and I can't wait to see where things go from here! It feels like a huge narrative shift is taking place, and I'm anxious to see how you'll re-envision so many aspects of ThunderClan and its cats in this new fork (assuming that's where we're staying.)
I would love to be added as a fan, and thanks again for the recommendation!
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Aug 15, 2019 11:37:36 GMT -5
mintedstar/furAhh no! But at least that's an excuse to read more xD Your friend sounds like they have a fun sense of humour. It'd be funny if the fanbase just adopted him as canon thanks to your fic.And wow, okay, that is a very exciting life. I agree, a soap opera (or maybe a dramatic sitcom?) would work excellently! Schrodinger's stab wound - there and not there are the same time. You'd really think that he'd have gone free if the jury couldn't even agree how he supposedly killed the guy - although historical juries can be weird and if he was generally disliked who knows? In the Arthur Dee soap opera, I can see the Tsar being the equivalent of Holt from Brooklyn 99... "Dee, my courtroom now. Maybe if you paid more attention to alchemy you wouldn't have got into this mess." Some friend indeed... You wonder how John was so successful if he was such a bad judge of character. And I would agree, even if he was dealing with a mental illness, it seems likely that this guy knew he was taking John for a ride. A fact right back at you... did you know that Isaac Newton was practising alchemy at the same time as he was working on physics? And apparently he got rejected by a fellow (male) alchemist.
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Aug 15, 2019 12:02:57 GMT -5
valleylight(I really do not mind - this is one of the nicest comments I've ever had on a fic If it's okay with you, I might put it on my front page as a review.) Thank you for picking up on the present tense thing - that was a 100% deliberate choice. Ahh I'm glad you liked the characterisation! Holly was quite a challenge to write since so much of her character in canon depends on the Clans and the warrior code, so I'm glad you like my interpretation of her. And Sol! I liked his canon self more than you did, but he always struck me as a wasted opportunity. That is amazing praise that I managed to change your opinion of him! Thank youu! Again, dialogue is something I really pay attention to, so I'm really happy it works for you! I'll keep an eye on the noun thing - I assume you mean 'Holly's' for 'belonging to Holly', 'Holly is' and 'Holly has'? Thank you, thank you, thank you! Literally, I'm smiling again from just rereading your comment. I really hope you like the rest of the fic as much, and I can assure you that that will definitely be addressed in the next chapter! I'd be delighted to fan you, and you're welcome
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Post by valleylight on Aug 15, 2019 15:44:04 GMT -5
(Aw yay! And that would be fine!)
I'm glad you appreciated it; I know I can run long with my comments, but I really loved your story! I've always found it easier to critique and analyze literature than to write it, so it makes me really happy when I read great stories from other people. (I aspire to tell a story and incorporate theme half as well as BaH does!)
With the noun thing, what you mentioned is something I noticed once or twice, and then once in a while subject-verb agreement stuff where the tense that your verb was in didn't match up with the noun (like, plural vs. singular). It would've been something like "Dovepaw and Ivypaw walks to the border," as opposed to "walk". But honestly, it happened so rarely that I literally couldn't find the instances I noticed before, looking back at the chapters, so it's really just a nitpick.
Okay, one story-related question I forgot to ask about, and then I'm done. It's not really relevant, but about halfway through reading I realized Ashfur wasn't around, and I was curious what you thought might've happened to him in that original fork. Did he have a different confrontation with Squirrelflight, or threaten someone else in her family? How did he die?
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Aug 16, 2019 4:09:52 GMT -5
I've been reading a lot lately! I've finished a lot of books this month. It would indeed be very funny. Then again, I'm slowly growing the fanbase apparently. XD I've gotten two friends - including the one with the sense of humor - to read the series. It certainly makes a fun book. I've been getting books about his father and then looking up Arthur's name in the index and wow ... there was some pretty crazy childhood stuff too. Mostly involving that friend. I think a lot of people didn't much like him in Russia. XD Arthur had a tendency to speak his mind as bluntly as possible and didn't really care who's toes he stepped on. So that was probably the reason. Yeeeeeeee. That sounds like the Tsar. XD Well, even though this friend did some really crazy things - and convinced John to do all sorts of things - John still knew alchemy. And the friend was an alchemist too. It was probably a common goal that they often worked to, but the friend did this ... really odd stuff on the side. And John bought into it - but a lot of alchemist apparently were doing the same thing. John just bought into the cons and weird stuff a lot more than most of his colleagues. Ye. He seems intelligent enough to know what he was doing. But it is possible he thought he was really seeing angels and demons. Regardless, John believed him too. I knew he was indeed practicing alchemy and physics at the same time. I did not know he got rejected.
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Aug 18, 2019 8:49:32 GMT -5
(Aw yay! And that would be fine!) I'm glad you appreciated it; I know I can run long with my comments, but I really loved your story! I've always found it easier to critique and analyze literature than to write it, so it makes me really happy when I read great stories from other people. (I aspire to tell a story and incorporate theme half as well as BaH does!) With the noun thing, what you mentioned is something I noticed once or twice, and then once in a while subject-verb agreement stuff where the tense that your verb was in didn't match up with the noun (like, plural vs. singular). It would've been something like "Dovepaw and Ivypaw walks to the border," as opposed to "walk". But honestly, it happened so rarely that I literally couldn't find the instances I noticed before, looking back at the chapters, so it's really just a nitpick. Okay, one story-related question I forgot to ask about, and then I'm done. It's not really relevant, but about halfway through reading I realized Ashfur wasn't around, and I was curious what you thought might've happened to him in that original fork. Did he have a different confrontation with Squirrelflight, or threaten someone else in her family? How did he die? ahh thank you! Being able to write such eloquent and analytic comments is a gift that I wish I had! Okay, thanks c: I'll look out for that! Honestly, I'm not sure that he did die. The original reason he's not around is because I managed to forget to factor him in until I'd already posted the first few chapters *facepalm*. That said, I reckon that he had a similar confrontation with Squirrelflight (maybe the whole Hawkfrost episode went a little differently) but, because I can't see Squirrel killing him, he fled the Clans and is probably still out there sulking.
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Aug 18, 2019 9:33:27 GMT -5
I've been reading a lot lately! I've finished a lot of books this month. It would indeed be very funny. Then again, I'm slowly growing the fanbase apparently. XD I've gotten two friends - including the one with the sense of humor - to read the series. It certainly makes a fun book. I've been getting books about his father and then looking up Arthur's name in the index and wow ... there was some pretty crazy childhood stuff too. Mostly involving that friend. I think a lot of people didn't much like him in Russia. XD Arthur had a tendency to speak his mind as bluntly as possible and didn't really care who's toes he stepped on. So that was probably the reason. Yeeeeeeee. That sounds like the Tsar. XD Well, even though this friend did some really crazy things - and convinced John to do all sorts of things - John still knew alchemy. And the friend was an alchemist too. It was probably a common goal that they often worked to, but the friend did this ... really odd stuff on the side. And John bought into it - but a lot of alchemist apparently were doing the same thing. John just bought into the cons and weird stuff a lot more than most of his colleagues. Ye. He seems intelligent enough to know what he was doing. But it is possible he thought he was really seeing angels and demons. Regardless, John believed him too. I knew he was indeed practicing alchemy and physics at the same time. I did not know he got rejected. That's great! Any recommendations? Sounds like a trilogy at the least to be fair. Arthur must've had an... interesting upbringing - no wonder he ended up with such a wild adulthood. Yeah, makes sense xD With all his other courtcases and general mishaps, there must've been enough people willing to push the case through in the hope that they'd finally get rid of him. I guess you don't necessarily get to pick your colleagues in alchemy... Actually, on the side of it being a mental health issue, a lot of the materials alchemists worked with were pretty dangerous (lead, for one thing). Without modern day lab safety, the fumes from those might've had anyone seeing angels and demons. It was this whole thing. The alchemist (or might've been a physicist, come to think of it) got in touch with Newton first, as a more established colleage, and they exchanged a lot of letters. When the guy rejected him, Newton basically stopped working, and then he never had another relationship.
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Aug 18, 2019 11:48:25 GMT -5
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Aug 18, 2019 18:45:51 GMT -5
I've been reading a lot lately! I've finished a lot of books this month. It would indeed be very funny. Then again, I'm slowly growing the fanbase apparently. XD I've gotten two friends - including the one with the sense of humor - to read the series. It certainly makes a fun book. I've been getting books about his father and then looking up Arthur's name in the index and wow ... there was some pretty crazy childhood stuff too. Mostly involving that friend. I think a lot of people didn't much like him in Russia. XD Arthur had a tendency to speak his mind as bluntly as possible and didn't really care who's toes he stepped on. So that was probably the reason. Yeeeeeeee. That sounds like the Tsar. XD Well, even though this friend did some really crazy things - and convinced John to do all sorts of things - John still knew alchemy. And the friend was an alchemist too. It was probably a common goal that they often worked to, but the friend did this ... really odd stuff on the side. And John bought into it - but a lot of alchemist apparently were doing the same thing. John just bought into the cons and weird stuff a lot more than most of his colleagues. Ye. He seems intelligent enough to know what he was doing. But it is possible he thought he was really seeing angels and demons. Regardless, John believed him too. I knew he was indeed practicing alchemy and physics at the same time. I did not know he got rejected. That's great! Any recommendations? Sounds like a trilogy at the least to be fair. Arthur must've had an... interesting upbringing - no wonder he ended up with such a wild adulthood. Yeah, makes sense xD With all his other courtcases and general mishaps, there must've been enough people willing to push the case through in the hope that they'd finally get rid of him. I guess you don't necessarily get to pick your colleagues in alchemy... Actually, on the side of it being a mental health issue, a lot of the materials alchemists worked with were pretty dangerous (lead, for one thing). Without modern day lab safety, the fumes from those might've had anyone seeing angels and demons. It was this whole thing. The alchemist (or might've been a physicist, come to think of it) got in touch with Newton first, as a more established colleage, and they exchanged a lot of letters. When the guy rejected him, Newton basically stopped working, and then he never had another relationship. The Testament of Loki and The Trails of Morrigan Crow. Those were hands down my favorite out of the batch I recently read. Probably. I was just talking to my mom about that. Yes. He ended up replacing that friend in his job for a little and tried to see spirits. He couldn't. Then he was there when the guy was 'told by the angels' that John needed to trade wives (Arthur's mom) with the friend. It did not work. He returned to London and died there, I believe. Very true! Also a lot of it was explosive, corrosive, and tons of other 'osives'. Wow. That is very impressive and interesting. I never knew this. Where'd you learn about it. I'd love to read up more about all this - particularly anything regarding Newton and alchemy because //waves at Arthur// kinda could use the research, ha ha.
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Aug 22, 2019 17:26:48 GMT -5
I haven't heard of either of them. Time for some checking out...
It's a miracle any alchemists survived, really.
Newton and the Counterfeiter. I actually found the book when I was looking for maths-related reading for uni, and found a history book instead. It mostly focuses on Newton's later life when he was in charge of the royal mint (because of course he was in charge of the royal mint) but there's a lot in the early chapters about his younger days and his alchemy. Nothing about the Dees though, sadly.
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Aug 23, 2019 16:55:23 GMT -5
I'm rereading the Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel now. XD
I'm impressed all alchemists didn't blow up.
Also, I must read this history book. XD
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