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Post by *ᴿᵃᶤᶰᶜᵃˡˡᵉʳ* on Aug 8, 2016 18:27:34 GMT -5
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As a young girl, Jacqueline thought her life would be normal. She lived with her mother and father, near the orphanage where her best friend Fredrick lived. She had everything she could ever want and more. And then the accident happened. Jacqueline's parents died when one winter a meteor fell from the sky. The young girl found herself in the orphanage, living beside her best friend. It was a short while before she was adopted by a monk. And an even shorter while before her life was changed for good. The young girl finds her fate entwined with the fate of a spirit older than the world itself. With the world balancing on the brink of destruction, the newly formed Jake and her ally North find themselves in the center of the conflict, with only the help of three mysterious girls, their weapons, and an old friend to stop it.
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Intro:
This is a story I've been planning for a while. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it, so don't hold back! Just no hate, only constructive criticism is allowed. And please, don't steal anything from this story. I'm working hard on it, and will not appreciate it if you steal what I worked so hard on.
Thanks, and enjoy!
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Post by *ᴿᵃᶤᶰᶜᵃˡˡᵉʳ* on Aug 8, 2016 18:27:48 GMT -5
Prologue:
Long ago, long before the Earth came into existence, there were five spirits. The eldest of the five was the most powerful. Their name was North. The spirit shook the universe with it's vast power, yet it's silence was as eerie as the universe of where it lived. The next spirits were the twins, East and West, though none of this life know which could claim the title as the elder. Together, they were invincible, their presence able to destroy the stars. However, their bickering knew no bounds, and kept the twins out of reach from one another. The fourth spirit was the most fierce. Their name was South. The spirit was small, much smaller than it's elder siblings, and yet more ruthless, with a temper hotter than the hottest star. And then there was the last spirit, the youngest. Their name was Compass, a small, weak, fragile thing. Compass had none of the power or strength of it's siblings, and that made the spirit bitter. No good ever comes from a bitter spirit.
It was fast, and the four elders never stood a chance to defend themselves. One by one, Compass swallowed the other spirits. It started with South, then East, and West. And in the end, in the center of the great, ever-expanding universe, the once weak spirit faced the most powerful. North stood it's ground, refusing to give in to the younger Compass. Yet in the end, the last spirit fell into a pit of despair, swallowed by the one that it had once called family. Compass ruled the universe, creating worlds with it's newly acquired powers. But the spirit's fun was not to last, for the spirits were immortal. And deep within Compass's pit, the four spirits lay in wait, watching for the moment to strike.
Compass had created it's last system when it's pit exploded. With a shriek, Compass's dreams of ruling disappeared. The four spirits came together for the first time, using their combined strength to strip away Compass's true form, the pieces falling away and scattered. They took the traitor's soul and bound it to a rock, that shaped into a small, circular object that echoed the spirit's soul. Finally, the four spirits threw the soul onto one of the worlds that Compass themself created. For what better prison then one that they had created?
The remaining spirits shaped the world, adding fire, water, ice, and most importantly, life. And so, the Earth and creatures on it came to be. To further insure that Compass would remain dormant, each of the spirits bound their souls to an object, disguising themselves and leaving their true forms behind. They fell into a deep sleep, just as did Compass, and entrusted themselves to humans, believing that they can keep the spirits safe. For one day, Compass would break free of it's prison, and the spirits would awaken to fight their great foe once more. But next time, they will not be alone. Next time, they will have the people who had kept them safe for centuries.
They would have their Keepers.
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Chapter 1:
Jake growled as she scrubbed the floor. She hated cleaning, but it was her job to do so here in her new home. She closed her eyes, remembering better, happier times when her parents were still alive. Jacqueline, as she was called then, had everything. Jake shook her head. She remembered the accident too well, and how the babysitter had opened the door to the police, telling them of the incident. A freak accident, it was. Jake knew that. The meteor fell from the sky, destroying the building where her parents once lived. But it was because of that accident that Jake had found herself in the orphanage, and found herself being adopted by the monk, Jeriah. She knew he thought the death of her parents was some sort of sign, but for what she did not know.
Someone calling her name pulled her from her thoughts.
"Jake!" Came the familiar voice. With a sigh, she stood, and made her way to the hall where the monk Jeriah waited. As she entered, she saw him waiting impatiently. They made eye contact, and the monk immediately frowned. It was then that Jake remembered that they had guests coming in little over an hour. She was supposed to change into what she liked to call 'girl clothes', meaning nice, pretty colored clothing like dresses or skirts. It was something she hated doing. But she sighed, knowing that she had to.
"I know, I know," She muttered. Turning, she made her way out, but was stopped.
"Jake, wait," Jeriah said. She paused, glancing back at him, and noticed with surprise that he looked like he was in pain. "Just, whatever happens tonight, don't worry. It'll, it'll all be okay." Jake had no idea what he meant by that, but she shrugged, her mind reeling as it tried to understand.
"Yeah, okay," She replied, confused. She walked to her room slowly, still trying to comprehend. That pained look... did it mean that they were about to lose the place? No, that was impossible. No, it had to be that she was being sent off. Once she thought that, she knew it was true. She was going back to the orphanage. After years here, she was going to be kicked out of her home again.
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Post by *ᴿᵃᶤᶰᶜᵃˡˡᵉʳ* on Aug 8, 2016 18:30:56 GMT -5
save
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Post by *ᴿᵃᶤᶰᶜᵃˡˡᵉʳ* on Aug 8, 2016 18:31:17 GMT -5
save
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Post by *ᴿᵃᶤᶰᶜᵃˡˡᵉʳ* on Aug 8, 2016 18:31:28 GMT -5
save
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Post by *ᴿᵃᶤᶰᶜᵃˡˡᵉʳ* on Aug 8, 2016 18:31:40 GMT -5
save
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Post by *ᴿᵃᶤᶰᶜᵃˡˡᵉʳ* on Aug 8, 2016 18:31:56 GMT -5
save
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Post by *ᴿᵃᶤᶰᶜᵃˡˡᵉʳ* on Aug 8, 2016 18:32:29 GMT -5
save
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Post by *ᴿᵃᶤᶰᶜᵃˡˡᵉʳ* on Aug 8, 2016 18:32:41 GMT -5
save
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Post by *ᴿᵃᶤᶰᶜᵃˡˡᵉʳ* on Aug 8, 2016 19:39:39 GMT -5
And prologue is up!
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Post by Tawnyfire on Aug 10, 2016 17:02:22 GMT -5
I like it so far, no constructive criticism yet though. :3
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Post by *ᴿᵃᶤᶰᶜᵃˡˡᵉʳ* on Aug 10, 2016 17:04:46 GMT -5
Thanks! I'm still working on the first chapter, though I'll finish it soon.
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Post by Tawnyfire on Aug 10, 2016 17:06:16 GMT -5
Cool! 😊
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Post by Tawnyfire on Aug 11, 2016 6:18:12 GMT -5
We have something in common, I hate Dresses and Skirts too. Only on wedding occasion's will i put one on.
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