Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2017 13:43:13 GMT -5
Hi everyone!! These are my pointless stories that I wrote a while ago! They are very weird and don't make any sense...So, yeah...
I will post one per day...
Story #1: The Adventures of Sorcle Cat
Once upon a time there was a mad scientist named Blub-a-dub. Blub-a-dub was looking through his recipe book of evil concoctions one day when he found a recipe for a rubber band neuro-translator that if you put a book on it, the information would appear in your mind. The recipe called for 15 rubber bands. Blub-a-dub spent 1 hour searching through his pile of junk for his rubber bands. Finally he found a box, but there were only 12 rubber bands. “It will have to do,” he said and dumped them in a bowl. He added lemonade, melted books, hot peppers, and fingernails. The recipe also said to add ink from 10 red markers. Blub-a-dub spent an hour looking for red markers but could only find pencils. “It can’t change the final product THAT much,” he said and dumped them in. Next it said to cook them in the oven for 5 hours at 465 degrees. But the number 5 on his timer was broken, and his oven could only heat up to 375 degrees. “Oh well,” he said and put it in the oven for 4 hours at 375 degrees. When it was done the book said to stir it for until it turned blue. But Blub-a-dub was too lazy to do that. “Green will be okay,” he said. He put it in the freezer and left.
The next day he came back and opened up the freezer. GASP! Sorcle Cat had constructed itself overnight from the mixture. Sorcle Cat jumped on Blub-a-dub and slapped him. Moral of this story: Make sure to follow the recipe. Anyway, Sorcle Cat was a cat made out of sorcles. His head was one, his nose was one, his eyes were two, his ears were two, his mouth was one, his body was one, and his legs were four. He didn’t have a tail because there weren’t enough rubber bands. Sorcle Cat shoved Blub-a-dub in the freezer and marched off to KittyVille.
When he got there, he tried to enroll at a school. “Cats made of sorcles aren’t allowed,” said the teacher. He tried to get a job at an office. “Cats made of sorcles can’t do work,” said the boss. He tried to be a street sweeper. “Cats made of sorcles can’t sweep,” said the street sweeping organization. Some suspicious looking cats lurked nearby. They jumped on him and pulled off all his sorcles, then threw them far away. The cats ran away laughing, leaving Sorcle Cat helpless. Sorcle Cat’s eyes watched while his legs stood up and walked around, looking for the other sorcles. Eventually the legs had found all the sorcles and had assembled them back into Sorcle Cat. He sat down and cried. Then he got up and began walking away, when he happened to see a sign posted on the wall: GEOMETRY TEACHER NEEDED. He called their number and said, “Can I sign up to be a geometry teacher?” And they said, “What do you know about geometry?” And he said, “I’m made out of sorcles. People could trace me.” They immediately agreed. Sorcle Cat became a geometry teacher and lived happily ever after. He even went down in history as the best geometry teacher that had ever taught. The end.
Story #2: The Power of Stairs
Once upon a time in KittyVille, there lived a very busy gray cat named Fire. She worked at a cupcake shop. Anyway, one day Fire forgot to set her alarm. She woke up at 6:48. “AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!” she screamed. “I’m an hour early!” She began rushing around her house trying to get ready on time. First she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She tripped when the sink water overflowed the sink and made the floor all wet. She bashed her jaw on the floor and several teeth fell out. “Darn!” she said. She cleaned up the blood and water. Then she continued brushing her teeth. She squeezed out some toothpaste and was about to use it when she discovered she had squeezed out a caterpillar!!! She screamed and threw it out the window. Then she squeezed out some more toothpaste but it took a long time to brush because she was constantly trying to avoid the spots where teeth had fallen out.
Finally she was done. She went downstairs but there was no milk. Worse, there was no cereal. And what was even worse, all her spoons and bowls were in the dishwasher. She poured orange juice onto a plate and used a fork to scoop up crackers. Then she opened up the door to the garage, where she kept her golf kart, and tripped down 100 sets of stairs. When she hit the bottom she looked at her watch. 6:49!!! “Ugh! I’m so slow!” she complained. She drove to work. She got there right as the clock chimed 7:00. The night janitor greeted her. “What are you doing here so early?” “I fell down 100 sets of stairs, and now I’m early!” complained Fire. “I’m going to have to report you. We can’t afford to have you coming early every day. You should try to be late, just like everybody else.” Fire groaned. She knew this was coming. “It’s all my stairs’ fault. They made me go fast.” “Well, why don’t you visit the Stairs Therapist? Right across the street,” said the janitor.
Fire went and got her stairs and went to the Therapist. She sat down in the client chair. Her stairs sat on the floor. The Therapist looked at her over her bejeweled green glasses. “It seems we have some problems to work out. Your stairs have been misbehaving.” “I know,” said Fire. “They made me early to work, and now everybody will be mad.” “Why don’t you try out the Power of Stairs? We have some here for $20, but if you just want to try it out, you can get a sample for free.” “That sounds great,” said Fire. The Therapist gave Fire the Power of Stairs, and her stairs never made her early again. In fact, sometimes she took so long to walk down them that they made her the latest person to work. Everybody congratulated her. The end.
I will post one per day...
Story #1: The Adventures of Sorcle Cat
Once upon a time there was a mad scientist named Blub-a-dub. Blub-a-dub was looking through his recipe book of evil concoctions one day when he found a recipe for a rubber band neuro-translator that if you put a book on it, the information would appear in your mind. The recipe called for 15 rubber bands. Blub-a-dub spent 1 hour searching through his pile of junk for his rubber bands. Finally he found a box, but there were only 12 rubber bands. “It will have to do,” he said and dumped them in a bowl. He added lemonade, melted books, hot peppers, and fingernails. The recipe also said to add ink from 10 red markers. Blub-a-dub spent an hour looking for red markers but could only find pencils. “It can’t change the final product THAT much,” he said and dumped them in. Next it said to cook them in the oven for 5 hours at 465 degrees. But the number 5 on his timer was broken, and his oven could only heat up to 375 degrees. “Oh well,” he said and put it in the oven for 4 hours at 375 degrees. When it was done the book said to stir it for until it turned blue. But Blub-a-dub was too lazy to do that. “Green will be okay,” he said. He put it in the freezer and left.
The next day he came back and opened up the freezer. GASP! Sorcle Cat had constructed itself overnight from the mixture. Sorcle Cat jumped on Blub-a-dub and slapped him. Moral of this story: Make sure to follow the recipe. Anyway, Sorcle Cat was a cat made out of sorcles. His head was one, his nose was one, his eyes were two, his ears were two, his mouth was one, his body was one, and his legs were four. He didn’t have a tail because there weren’t enough rubber bands. Sorcle Cat shoved Blub-a-dub in the freezer and marched off to KittyVille.
When he got there, he tried to enroll at a school. “Cats made of sorcles aren’t allowed,” said the teacher. He tried to get a job at an office. “Cats made of sorcles can’t do work,” said the boss. He tried to be a street sweeper. “Cats made of sorcles can’t sweep,” said the street sweeping organization. Some suspicious looking cats lurked nearby. They jumped on him and pulled off all his sorcles, then threw them far away. The cats ran away laughing, leaving Sorcle Cat helpless. Sorcle Cat’s eyes watched while his legs stood up and walked around, looking for the other sorcles. Eventually the legs had found all the sorcles and had assembled them back into Sorcle Cat. He sat down and cried. Then he got up and began walking away, when he happened to see a sign posted on the wall: GEOMETRY TEACHER NEEDED. He called their number and said, “Can I sign up to be a geometry teacher?” And they said, “What do you know about geometry?” And he said, “I’m made out of sorcles. People could trace me.” They immediately agreed. Sorcle Cat became a geometry teacher and lived happily ever after. He even went down in history as the best geometry teacher that had ever taught. The end.
Story #2: The Power of Stairs
Once upon a time in KittyVille, there lived a very busy gray cat named Fire. She worked at a cupcake shop. Anyway, one day Fire forgot to set her alarm. She woke up at 6:48. “AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!” she screamed. “I’m an hour early!” She began rushing around her house trying to get ready on time. First she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She tripped when the sink water overflowed the sink and made the floor all wet. She bashed her jaw on the floor and several teeth fell out. “Darn!” she said. She cleaned up the blood and water. Then she continued brushing her teeth. She squeezed out some toothpaste and was about to use it when she discovered she had squeezed out a caterpillar!!! She screamed and threw it out the window. Then she squeezed out some more toothpaste but it took a long time to brush because she was constantly trying to avoid the spots where teeth had fallen out.
Finally she was done. She went downstairs but there was no milk. Worse, there was no cereal. And what was even worse, all her spoons and bowls were in the dishwasher. She poured orange juice onto a plate and used a fork to scoop up crackers. Then she opened up the door to the garage, where she kept her golf kart, and tripped down 100 sets of stairs. When she hit the bottom she looked at her watch. 6:49!!! “Ugh! I’m so slow!” she complained. She drove to work. She got there right as the clock chimed 7:00. The night janitor greeted her. “What are you doing here so early?” “I fell down 100 sets of stairs, and now I’m early!” complained Fire. “I’m going to have to report you. We can’t afford to have you coming early every day. You should try to be late, just like everybody else.” Fire groaned. She knew this was coming. “It’s all my stairs’ fault. They made me go fast.” “Well, why don’t you visit the Stairs Therapist? Right across the street,” said the janitor.
Fire went and got her stairs and went to the Therapist. She sat down in the client chair. Her stairs sat on the floor. The Therapist looked at her over her bejeweled green glasses. “It seems we have some problems to work out. Your stairs have been misbehaving.” “I know,” said Fire. “They made me early to work, and now everybody will be mad.” “Why don’t you try out the Power of Stairs? We have some here for $20, but if you just want to try it out, you can get a sample for free.” “That sounds great,” said Fire. The Therapist gave Fire the Power of Stairs, and her stairs never made her early again. In fact, sometimes she took so long to walk down them that they made her the latest person to work. Everybody congratulated her. The end.
