I discovered an ancient fanfiction... UPDATED!
Jun 17, 2017 21:56:05 GMT -5
tiger beetle, » ѕнαdσω ⚔️, and 1 more like this
Post by Dingoleap on Jun 17, 2017 21:56:05 GMT -5
Since posting old fanfiction seems to be a bit of a trend at the moment, I thought id join in, since I haven't posed anything in forever. I'm sure most of you remember my old pic 'Wildspirit'. Before then, it was a terribly thought out comic, and before that it was a storyline acted out my my friends and I while we were in primary school. I think we played warriors at school every day for nearly two years, but considering we were 10-12 years old, it was terribly thought out. Nevertheless, it was fun at the time. After cleaning out my closet the other day, I found the original allegiances list we wrote out, as well as the original comic. I though it was hilarious, so I encourage you all to have a good laugh over it XD
1. The Wildspirit Chronicles
Leader: Darkstar - pale grey tom with black and white patches
Deputy: Whiptail - grey-brown tom with a very long tail
Medicine Cat: Redfang - russet coloured tom with long fangs (wow, original)
Warriors;
Tigersong - brown tabby she-cat with white paws, belly and tail-tip
Tasselears - white she-cat with yellow and orange spots and ragged ears (what is with this name??)
Clawshrike - dark brown tabby tom
Feralhawk - black tom with purple (yes, purple) bangs. Clearly 11 year old me was going through her edgy pre-teen phase.
Greytail - white tom with a grey nose, grey legs, and a grey tail.
Scar??? - white tom with a grey face and a scar through one eye. { Apprentice, Ratpaw } He had a full warrior name, but I can't remember what it was. He shall simply be referred to as Scarsomething.
Dandelionheart - soft, dappled grey she-cat. { Apprentice, Thornpaw }
Unfortunately, I can't find the rest of ThunderClan's allegiances - they were written on a seperate piece of paper that's been lost to time. These are simply the ones I can remember/appeared in the opening pages of the comic.
ShadowClan;
Leader: Lavastar - black tom with a red undercoat and red eyes
Deputy: Metalfur - shiny silver tom
Medicine Cat; Hawkswoop - ginger she-cat {Apprentice, Frightpath}
Warriors
Mosssprig - small black tom {Apprentice, Bonepaw} (Maybe I should just remake this 'the chronicle of terrible names')
Lightstreak - ginger tom with brighter stripes
Wasteclaw - marsh coloured tom (a. What kind of a name is this? and b. how can a cat be 'marsh coloured'?)
Lichentangle - calm black she-cat
Cursedheart - black tom with a scar through his eye
Soakfoot - light brown she-cat
Ivyfur - calico she-cat {Apprentice, Volcanopaw}
Otterclaw - strong, silent brown tom {Apprentice, Skypaw}
Coppertail - pretty ginger she-cat
Stonefang - grey tabby tom
Burrpelt - long furred dark brown tom
Tigerfoot - dark brown tabby tom
Foxheart - silent red tom (Evidently, the ShadowClan cats didn't talk much)
Blackstorm - jet black tom with blue eyes
Twistedwhisker - light brown tom with amber eyes
Pricklefur - dark brown tom with lighter flecks
Rustclaw - rust-coloured tom
Wolfhowl - remarkably wolflike tom
Apprentices:
Volcanopaw - black and red tom with red eyes
Bonepaw - black tom with white bone-shaped markings
Skypaw - dark ginger she-cat
Frightpath - black she-cat
Queens:
Bluefur - blue-grey she-cat, mother of Snowkit and Wheezekit
Crystaltail - Snow white she-cat, expecting kits (evidently, her being white wasn't enough)
Kits;
Snowkit - silver she-cat
Wheezekit - tabby tom with a breathing problem
Elders;
Poisonfur - black tom (I think he actually gets poisoned at one point)
Sunpelt - golden she-cat
RiverClan;
Leader: Pinestar - black tom with a red undercoat
Deputy: Berrytail - thick furred cream tom
Medicine Cat:Troutshine - silver tabby she-cat
Warriors;
Lynxtuft - brown, gold and black mottled tom {Apprentice, Reedpaw}
Whitesock - black she-cat with one white paw (Whitefoot would have been acceptable. This is not)
Peppertail - grey tom, pale grey, white and black flecked tail
Stoneheart - stone grey tom with bad scars {Apprentice, Stormpaw}
Wavelap - grey tabby tom
Badgerfang - black tom with a white stripe from nose to tail tip (haha, get it? He looks like a badger.)
Sandfur - pale ginger she-cat
Leafwhisker - white tom with a tabby muzzle
Ivypelt - brown and white she-cat
Shingleback - white tom with brindled grey markings
Possomtail - grey she-cat with round ears and a black tail
Brightspirit - enthusiastic ginger and white she-cat
Smoketalon - black tom with grey paws and sharp claws
Nightpelt - black tom with blue eyes
Dampleaf - dark tabby tom (What kind of a name is this???)
Bluefog - smoky blue tom with green eyes {Apprentice, Ripplepaw}
Apprentices;
Reedpaw - brown and white she-cat
Stormpaw - storm grey she-cat with amber eyes
Ripplepaw - black she-cat with silver stripes
Queens;
Rainfleck - grey she-cat with black and white flecks, mother of Mudkit and Swiftkit
Lightcloud - pale ginger and grey mottled she-cat, mother of Breezekit, Toadkit, Crowkit and Honeykit
Kits;
Mudkit - mottled brown tom
Swiftkit - grey tom with black and white flecks
Breezekit - grey tom with black patches
Toadkit - white tom with grey and ginger patches
Crowkit - black tom
Honeykit - ginger and gold speckled she-cat (gold? GOLD???)
StormClan; (evidently, we didn't like WindClan)
Leader; Rustedstar - rust coloured tom with very dark green eyes. { Apprentice, Shadowpaw }
Deputy; Blackshot - very fast black tom
Medicine Cat; Beechnose - brown tom with only three legs
Warriors;
Saltlick - pale grey dappled tom with a white tongue (.... I don't even know where I was going with this.)
Lemoneyes - black tom with bright lemon-yellow eyes
Sonicfoot - fast black and white tom
Mosstail - black tom with a green tint to his fur. (what? Are we writing SparkleWarriors now??)
Wattleclaw - yellow tom {Apprentice, Lizardpaw}
Rainfur - brown tom with darker flecks
Beetlepelt - small calico tom {Apprentice, Firpaw}
Berrywhisker - orange and black tom
Quilltail - grey and brown striped she-cat with a thick, nice tail (yes, her tail is specifically described as being thick and nice)
Blueflight - blue/grey she-cat {Apprentice, Poppypaw}
Mudpelt - tortoiseshell tom
Hazelfur - pale ginger she-cat
Eaglesplash - brown she-cat with white splashed markings
Darktail - dark grey tom with a black tail
Cottonfur - white she-cat with very soft fur
Tadpoleheart - small black tom
Logfur - aggressive dark brown tom (terrible name)
Bouldershadow - grey and black tom (that name's even worse)
Honeyfern - pale ginger she-cat
Apprentices;
Shadowpaw - black tom
Lizardpaw - brown tom with very short legs and a long tail
Poppypaw - brown tabby she-cat
Firpaw - long-furred brown tom
Cloudpaw - white and silver spotted tom with green eyes (wait, whose apprentice is this???)
Queens:
Oakleaf - pale cream she-cat, mother of Hawkkit and Cloverkit
Cherryfur - tortoiseshell she-cat, mother of Featherkit, Mottlekit and Marblekit
Kits;
Hawkkit - ginger tabby tom
Cloverkit - calico she-cat (for some reason, I have her listed as being adopted, but I can't remember why we decided this)
Featherkit - silver tabby she-cat
Mottlekit - tortoiseshell tom
Marblekit - black and white tom
Elders;
Leaffur - calico tom
Snailtail - silver and black tom
Misty - grey she-cat, blind in one eye
Cats Outside of the Clans;
Stripeheart - light brown tom with dark brown stripes and white paws.
Tearstone - grey she-cat with black paws and black tear markings on her face. Dead. (Clearly I didn't know how to spell 'deceased'.)
Jackalfoot - dark brown tabby tom with black legs. Dead.
- Jackalfoot reveals that Darkstar asked if he could raise one of their kits, (nobody finds this strange??) and he and Tearstone agreed.
- Stripeheart is alarmed by this.
In the original version, the prologue ended there, but in later versions, we continue on.
- Jackalfoot returns to the camp and wanders into the nursery to discover that a) his kits have apparently been born in the five minutes he was away, and
Tearstone has died.
- He tries to run away in horror (seriously man, that's your first reaction??) but Darkstar - who apparently has been in the nursery this whole time (that's not suspicious at all) - stops him.
- They walk into the woods again. Strangely enough, Jackalfoot doesn't seem particularly upset or surprised by these turns of events.
- Darkstar reveals that he killed Tearstone, and considering the fact that Jackalfoot figured it out (a-are you sure, Darkstar? Are you sure you didn't just tell him?) he must now kill Jackalfoot as well.
Honestly, I'm still trying to work out how Darkstar managed to kill Tearstone in the middle of the ThunderClan camp and get away with it.
- Tigersong arrived back at the camp and tells Darkstar that Greytail said he was looking for her, and, for some reason, Darkstar is really confused by this, then decides that he wants her to help Scarsomething train Ratpaw, even though Scarsomething is perfectly capable of training his own apprentice. Before she goes, Darkstar tells her about her parent, claiming both her mother and unnamed littermate died during kitting and that Jackalfoot died soon after - I think we made it out that he was so distressed by his family dying that he jumps into the gorge or something (Why did we include this????)
- She meets the duo in the forest, and discovers that they're practicing killing moves. I can't remember is Ratpaw is in on the plan, or if he was dragged into it by his mentor. They taunt Tigersong until she fights back.
- She then flies into some kind of rage and critically injures Scarsomething, but lets Ratpaw run away - surprisingly, Ratpaw doesn't actually tell anyone what has taken place, but hides in the medicine den for pretty much the rest of the series.
- Tigersong passes out, and dreams of a strange cat who reveals that he is her father. She immediately believes him, but wakes up before she can get any useful information out of him - I seem to remember thinking that there was important information to be given out here, despite nothing being revealed plotwise.
- Tigersong wakes up face to face with Feralhawk, who seems to just be lurking around. Darkstar shows up. Tigersong seems to have no recollection of what has just taken place (obviously, she doesn't notice the blood that should be everywhere). When she finally notices, she freaks out. Darkstar calms her down and tells her that it wasn't her fault (um, who's fault is it then??)
- Feralhawk seems to have disappeared. They go back to camp, but instead of going to the medicine den, Tigersong goes straight to her adopted parents - who seem to be the only ones who have noticed she was missing.
- Jackalfoot visits Tigersong in her dreams, yet refuses to explain anything yet again. Instead, it turns out Tigersong is in grave danger. Again. She wakes up, and - surprise, surprise - Darkstar tries to kill her. Darkstar eventually reveals that he killed her parents. Tigersong assumes that this means he killed her littermate as well. It is important to note that said littermate was never mentioned. They fight, Tigersong beats him easily. She walks off into the sunset.
- some time later, Darkstar meets with Mysterious Cat, who apparently is the 'final boss' type villain, who takes Darkstar's eye as punishment for failing. Darkstar begs for another chance, saying that there is 'still hope'. Mysterious Cat agrees, and gives Darkstar yet another chance to kill Tigersong, despite already failing twice. I'm not sure how he explained the suddenly missing eye, either.
- Tigersong, meanwhile, is just kinda chilling in the forest. Jackalfoot visits her and finally manages to explain, but he's still really vague - turns out, there's a kind of ancient power in her blood. She accepts this rather calmly. It is revealed that there are other cats like her and she needs to find them in order to defeat Darkstar. Darkstar, I think, wants to kill them so he can absorb their powers.
- She then decides to test her newly discovered (sorta?) powers, by... punching a mouse. Literally punching it, and having it explode. I think I was going for some kind of dramatic effect, but only managed to ruin my pencils when I dew it out.
- Noises are heard! Tigersong hides, expecting it to be Darkstar. Surprise, it's not. Instead, it's Stripeheart, who miraculously, is still alive (and apparently lived undetected in clan territory all this time...?) Stripeheart recognises the name 'Tigersong' and automatically assumes she is 'Tigerkit', his niece, now grown up. He originally calls her Tigerpaw, which indicates that she was an apprentice when they last met... despite Stripeheart (apparently) fleeing the clans after warning Jackalfoot in the prologue... if she was an apprentice when he left, she would then surely remember him, and moreso would have started questioning why literally every family member has been killed... or so you'd think.
- By this point, Tigersong has had two complete strangers tell her that they're close family, and she just automatically accepts it...? Stripeheart leaves, which is kind of strange considering he'd just reconnected with his niece...
- Tigersong goes to ShadowClan. On the way, she overhears Darkstar talking to the ShadowClan leader, Lavastar (wow, convenient timing). She's now super determined to find the others like her. She hangs around in ShadowClan for a while, somehow avoiding all traces of detection, and eventually meets Wolfhowl.She automatically assumes he is like her based on his name.
- Wolfhowl isn't surprised or overly concerned by Tigersong's story and just kinda accepts it. They wander off tostart a new life find the others. Some stuff happens, including fighting Darkstar and Lavastar, who are both abysmal henchmen and fail miserably at their jobs. After this, Lavastar actually morphs into a better villain after one of my friends decided Darkstar was terrible. (Agreed)
- They eventually meet up with the others - Shingleback and Possumtail immediately agree to join them, but Eaglesplash is a little harder to convince - I think in the original she was supposed to be already aware of the whole power/prophecy type thing but didn't really care because her clan leader wasn't trying to kill her.
- I think they were all supposed to go on some journey somewhere, but it never served a purpose.
- Some other stuff happens, and I think a love triangle was supposed to develop involving Shingleback, Wolfhowl and Eaglesplash (wow, fun times)
- At one point, we branched off into a complicated sub-plot, in which Lavastar tries to kill Rustedstar, but only succeed in chasing him out of the clans. I'm pretty sure he then sent his sons (Volcanopaw and Bonepaw) to hunt him down. At the last minute, Bonepaw decided to take the morally superior option and let's Rustedstar live. For some reason, Rustedstar goes into hiding, and Lavastar hunts him down. I honestly can't remember why Lavastar was so obsessed with killing Rustedstar, but it was very important.
- Back in the main forest, Metalfur decided to start stealing kits. Darkstar takes advantage of this and spreads a rumour saying that Tigersong and the other missing warriors are behind the kit-stealing (should I mention that the kits then became an army of ninjas?) . Nevertheless, the journeying cats choose this incredibly opportune moment to return and actually interrupt a gathering. Darkstar panics and tells his clan to attack them. ThunderClan is understandably confused, so Shadowclan attacks instead. I think at this point, Lavastar had returned from wherever he was.
- theres a huge battle, and at some point ThunderClan realises that Darkstar is evil and he's chased off. Lavastar manages to talk his way out of it, and makes it seem like Darkstar bullied him into joining the dark side. I'm pretty sure this was where Lavastar actually started to become a good (and very manipulative) villain. He makes a big show of welcoming Wolfhowl home, and everyone seems to forget that they've been accused of kit-stealing. All characters go back to their respective clans.
- over in ThunderClan, Whiptail becomes Whipstar (even though Darkstar is still alive). I think Clawshrike is appointed deputy. I think there was a 'reunion' scene between Tigersong and Greytail.
- Tigersong meets with the RiverClan cats on several occasions and they debate their next move. Someone recalls that Eaglesplash apparently knew about their powers (which, by the way, were never fully explained or explored) before everyone else, so they go and visit StormClan, which is functioning normally despite its leader being missing (how??? Do they even notice he's gone?). They talk to Beechnose, who is finally able to shed some backstory on the whole power thing, considering we forgot entirely about Jackalfoot. It turns out that Beechnose has known about the plan to kill the power cats and apparently absorb their powers for quite some time and a long time ago, the final boss villain sent Lavastar to silence him - which explains why Beechnose only has three legs (and may explain Lavastar's obsession with Rustedstar)
- on the way back to ThunderClan, they are intercepted by Feralhawk (who we also forgot existed until this point) who seems to be having some sort of moral crisis and reveals that Darkstar isn't his biological father (?????? are you guys as confused as I am??? I think we also decided that Darkstar was extremely jealous of Jackalfoot and wanted to be mates with Tearstone, which is why he wanted to raise her kits, which is both creepy and weird)
- Tigersong conveniently remembers that she apparently had a brother. Feralhawk is revealed to be said littermate. (wow, how unbearably cliched.)
- Lavastar starts a war with StormClan. Blackshot uses his super-speed (I have nothing to say to this) to stop the invasion, so Lavastar tries to invade ThunderClan instead. At some point the main characters manage to unlock their powers and defeat the bad guys. I can't remember exactly what happens to Darkstar, but Tigersong gets her revenge. They think it's all over, then final boss villain is revealed. It's (gasp!) ThunderClan's medicine cat! For a members, it takes them ages to defeat him, even though its five fully trained warriors against one medicine cat.
- If anything else was supposed to happen, I can't remember what it was.
2. Falling Ash
Well, thats my contribution to this amazing and somewhat hilarious trend that's sweeping the forums right now. I hope you got a good laugh out of this! I'm going to poke around and see if I can dig up any more old stories - I think I know where I would have put them.
1. The Wildspirit Chronicles
Allegiances;
ThunderClan;Leader: Darkstar - pale grey tom with black and white patches
Deputy: Whiptail - grey-brown tom with a very long tail
Medicine Cat: Redfang - russet coloured tom with long fangs (wow, original)
Warriors;
Tigersong - brown tabby she-cat with white paws, belly and tail-tip
Tasselears - white she-cat with yellow and orange spots and ragged ears (what is with this name??)
Clawshrike - dark brown tabby tom
Feralhawk - black tom with purple (yes, purple) bangs. Clearly 11 year old me was going through her edgy pre-teen phase.
Greytail - white tom with a grey nose, grey legs, and a grey tail.
Scar??? - white tom with a grey face and a scar through one eye. { Apprentice, Ratpaw } He had a full warrior name, but I can't remember what it was. He shall simply be referred to as Scarsomething.
Dandelionheart - soft, dappled grey she-cat. { Apprentice, Thornpaw }
Unfortunately, I can't find the rest of ThunderClan's allegiances - they were written on a seperate piece of paper that's been lost to time. These are simply the ones I can remember/appeared in the opening pages of the comic.
ShadowClan;
Leader: Lavastar - black tom with a red undercoat and red eyes
Deputy: Metalfur - shiny silver tom
Medicine Cat; Hawkswoop - ginger she-cat {Apprentice, Frightpath}
Warriors
Mosssprig - small black tom {Apprentice, Bonepaw} (Maybe I should just remake this 'the chronicle of terrible names')
Lightstreak - ginger tom with brighter stripes
Wasteclaw - marsh coloured tom (a. What kind of a name is this? and b. how can a cat be 'marsh coloured'?)
Lichentangle - calm black she-cat
Cursedheart - black tom with a scar through his eye
Soakfoot - light brown she-cat
Ivyfur - calico she-cat {Apprentice, Volcanopaw}
Otterclaw - strong, silent brown tom {Apprentice, Skypaw}
Coppertail - pretty ginger she-cat
Stonefang - grey tabby tom
Burrpelt - long furred dark brown tom
Tigerfoot - dark brown tabby tom
Foxheart - silent red tom (Evidently, the ShadowClan cats didn't talk much)
Blackstorm - jet black tom with blue eyes
Twistedwhisker - light brown tom with amber eyes
Pricklefur - dark brown tom with lighter flecks
Rustclaw - rust-coloured tom
Wolfhowl - remarkably wolflike tom
Apprentices:
Volcanopaw - black and red tom with red eyes
Bonepaw - black tom with white bone-shaped markings
Skypaw - dark ginger she-cat
Frightpath - black she-cat
Queens:
Bluefur - blue-grey she-cat, mother of Snowkit and Wheezekit
Crystaltail - Snow white she-cat, expecting kits (evidently, her being white wasn't enough)
Kits;
Snowkit - silver she-cat
Wheezekit - tabby tom with a breathing problem
Elders;
Poisonfur - black tom (I think he actually gets poisoned at one point)
Sunpelt - golden she-cat
RiverClan;
Leader: Pinestar - black tom with a red undercoat
Deputy: Berrytail - thick furred cream tom
Medicine Cat:Troutshine - silver tabby she-cat
Warriors;
Lynxtuft - brown, gold and black mottled tom {Apprentice, Reedpaw}
Whitesock - black she-cat with one white paw (Whitefoot would have been acceptable. This is not)
Peppertail - grey tom, pale grey, white and black flecked tail
Stoneheart - stone grey tom with bad scars {Apprentice, Stormpaw}
Wavelap - grey tabby tom
Badgerfang - black tom with a white stripe from nose to tail tip (haha, get it? He looks like a badger.)
Sandfur - pale ginger she-cat
Leafwhisker - white tom with a tabby muzzle
Ivypelt - brown and white she-cat
Shingleback - white tom with brindled grey markings
Possomtail - grey she-cat with round ears and a black tail
Brightspirit - enthusiastic ginger and white she-cat
Smoketalon - black tom with grey paws and sharp claws
Nightpelt - black tom with blue eyes
Dampleaf - dark tabby tom (What kind of a name is this???)
Bluefog - smoky blue tom with green eyes {Apprentice, Ripplepaw}
Apprentices;
Reedpaw - brown and white she-cat
Stormpaw - storm grey she-cat with amber eyes
Ripplepaw - black she-cat with silver stripes
Queens;
Rainfleck - grey she-cat with black and white flecks, mother of Mudkit and Swiftkit
Lightcloud - pale ginger and grey mottled she-cat, mother of Breezekit, Toadkit, Crowkit and Honeykit
Kits;
Mudkit - mottled brown tom
Swiftkit - grey tom with black and white flecks
Breezekit - grey tom with black patches
Toadkit - white tom with grey and ginger patches
Crowkit - black tom
Honeykit - ginger and gold speckled she-cat (gold? GOLD???)
StormClan; (evidently, we didn't like WindClan)
Leader; Rustedstar - rust coloured tom with very dark green eyes. { Apprentice, Shadowpaw }
Deputy; Blackshot - very fast black tom
Medicine Cat; Beechnose - brown tom with only three legs
Warriors;
Saltlick - pale grey dappled tom with a white tongue (.... I don't even know where I was going with this.)
Lemoneyes - black tom with bright lemon-yellow eyes
Sonicfoot - fast black and white tom
Mosstail - black tom with a green tint to his fur. (what? Are we writing SparkleWarriors now??)
Wattleclaw - yellow tom {Apprentice, Lizardpaw}
Rainfur - brown tom with darker flecks
Beetlepelt - small calico tom {Apprentice, Firpaw}
Berrywhisker - orange and black tom
Quilltail - grey and brown striped she-cat with a thick, nice tail (yes, her tail is specifically described as being thick and nice)
Blueflight - blue/grey she-cat {Apprentice, Poppypaw}
Mudpelt - tortoiseshell tom
Hazelfur - pale ginger she-cat
Eaglesplash - brown she-cat with white splashed markings
Darktail - dark grey tom with a black tail
Cottonfur - white she-cat with very soft fur
Tadpoleheart - small black tom
Logfur - aggressive dark brown tom (terrible name)
Bouldershadow - grey and black tom (that name's even worse)
Honeyfern - pale ginger she-cat
Apprentices;
Shadowpaw - black tom
Lizardpaw - brown tom with very short legs and a long tail
Poppypaw - brown tabby she-cat
Firpaw - long-furred brown tom
Cloudpaw - white and silver spotted tom with green eyes (wait, whose apprentice is this???)
Queens:
Oakleaf - pale cream she-cat, mother of Hawkkit and Cloverkit
Cherryfur - tortoiseshell she-cat, mother of Featherkit, Mottlekit and Marblekit
Kits;
Hawkkit - ginger tabby tom
Cloverkit - calico she-cat (for some reason, I have her listed as being adopted, but I can't remember why we decided this)
Featherkit - silver tabby she-cat
Mottlekit - tortoiseshell tom
Marblekit - black and white tom
Elders;
Leaffur - calico tom
Snailtail - silver and black tom
Misty - grey she-cat, blind in one eye
Cats Outside of the Clans;
Stripeheart - light brown tom with dark brown stripes and white paws.
Tearstone - grey she-cat with black paws and black tear markings on her face. Dead. (Clearly I didn't know how to spell 'deceased'.)
Jackalfoot - dark brown tabby tom with black legs. Dead.
'Prologue';
- Stripeheart convinces Jackalfoot to walk through the forest with him. Stripeheart tells him that he thinks Darkstar is planning to do something to Tearstone. - Jackalfoot reveals that Darkstar asked if he could raise one of their kits, (nobody finds this strange??) and he and Tearstone agreed.
- Stripeheart is alarmed by this.
In the original version, the prologue ended there, but in later versions, we continue on.
- Jackalfoot returns to the camp and wanders into the nursery to discover that a) his kits have apparently been born in the five minutes he was away, and
Tearstone has died. - He tries to run away in horror (seriously man, that's your first reaction??) but Darkstar - who apparently has been in the nursery this whole time (that's not suspicious at all) - stops him.
- They walk into the woods again. Strangely enough, Jackalfoot doesn't seem particularly upset or surprised by these turns of events.
- Darkstar reveals that he killed Tearstone, and considering the fact that Jackalfoot figured it out (a-are you sure, Darkstar? Are you sure you didn't just tell him?) he must now kill Jackalfoot as well.
Honestly, I'm still trying to work out how Darkstar managed to kill Tearstone in the middle of the ThunderClan camp and get away with it.
Main Storyline;
- our main protagonist Tigersong is introduced. She's hunting, and catches a mouse. For some reason, this was really important in the story. Greytail shows up and informs her that Darkstar is looking for her. I think, in the original version, Greytail was supposed to be Tigersong's love interest, but nothing ever came from it.- Tigersong arrived back at the camp and tells Darkstar that Greytail said he was looking for her, and, for some reason, Darkstar is really confused by this, then decides that he wants her to help Scarsomething train Ratpaw, even though Scarsomething is perfectly capable of training his own apprentice. Before she goes, Darkstar tells her about her parent, claiming both her mother and unnamed littermate died during kitting and that Jackalfoot died soon after - I think we made it out that he was so distressed by his family dying that he jumps into the gorge or something (Why did we include this????)
- She meets the duo in the forest, and discovers that they're practicing killing moves. I can't remember is Ratpaw is in on the plan, or if he was dragged into it by his mentor. They taunt Tigersong until she fights back.
- She then flies into some kind of rage and critically injures Scarsomething, but lets Ratpaw run away - surprisingly, Ratpaw doesn't actually tell anyone what has taken place, but hides in the medicine den for pretty much the rest of the series.
- Tigersong passes out, and dreams of a strange cat who reveals that he is her father. She immediately believes him, but wakes up before she can get any useful information out of him - I seem to remember thinking that there was important information to be given out here, despite nothing being revealed plotwise.
- Tigersong wakes up face to face with Feralhawk, who seems to just be lurking around. Darkstar shows up. Tigersong seems to have no recollection of what has just taken place (obviously, she doesn't notice the blood that should be everywhere). When she finally notices, she freaks out. Darkstar calms her down and tells her that it wasn't her fault (um, who's fault is it then??)
- Feralhawk seems to have disappeared. They go back to camp, but instead of going to the medicine den, Tigersong goes straight to her adopted parents - who seem to be the only ones who have noticed she was missing.
- Jackalfoot visits Tigersong in her dreams, yet refuses to explain anything yet again. Instead, it turns out Tigersong is in grave danger. Again. She wakes up, and - surprise, surprise - Darkstar tries to kill her. Darkstar eventually reveals that he killed her parents. Tigersong assumes that this means he killed her littermate as well. It is important to note that said littermate was never mentioned. They fight, Tigersong beats him easily. She walks off into the sunset.
- some time later, Darkstar meets with Mysterious Cat, who apparently is the 'final boss' type villain, who takes Darkstar's eye as punishment for failing. Darkstar begs for another chance, saying that there is 'still hope'. Mysterious Cat agrees, and gives Darkstar yet another chance to kill Tigersong, despite already failing twice. I'm not sure how he explained the suddenly missing eye, either.
- Tigersong, meanwhile, is just kinda chilling in the forest. Jackalfoot visits her and finally manages to explain, but he's still really vague - turns out, there's a kind of ancient power in her blood. She accepts this rather calmly. It is revealed that there are other cats like her and she needs to find them in order to defeat Darkstar. Darkstar, I think, wants to kill them so he can absorb their powers.
- She then decides to test her newly discovered (sorta?) powers, by... punching a mouse. Literally punching it, and having it explode. I think I was going for some kind of dramatic effect, but only managed to ruin my pencils when I dew it out.
- Noises are heard! Tigersong hides, expecting it to be Darkstar. Surprise, it's not. Instead, it's Stripeheart, who miraculously, is still alive (and apparently lived undetected in clan territory all this time...?) Stripeheart recognises the name 'Tigersong' and automatically assumes she is 'Tigerkit', his niece, now grown up. He originally calls her Tigerpaw, which indicates that she was an apprentice when they last met... despite Stripeheart (apparently) fleeing the clans after warning Jackalfoot in the prologue... if she was an apprentice when he left, she would then surely remember him, and moreso would have started questioning why literally every family member has been killed... or so you'd think.
- By this point, Tigersong has had two complete strangers tell her that they're close family, and she just automatically accepts it...? Stripeheart leaves, which is kind of strange considering he'd just reconnected with his niece...
- Tigersong goes to ShadowClan. On the way, she overhears Darkstar talking to the ShadowClan leader, Lavastar (wow, convenient timing). She's now super determined to find the others like her. She hangs around in ShadowClan for a while, somehow avoiding all traces of detection, and eventually meets Wolfhowl.She automatically assumes he is like her based on his name.
- Wolfhowl isn't surprised or overly concerned by Tigersong's story and just kinda accepts it. They wander off to
- They eventually meet up with the others - Shingleback and Possumtail immediately agree to join them, but Eaglesplash is a little harder to convince - I think in the original she was supposed to be already aware of the whole power/prophecy type thing but didn't really care because her clan leader wasn't trying to kill her.
- I think they were all supposed to go on some journey somewhere, but it never served a purpose.
- Some other stuff happens, and I think a love triangle was supposed to develop involving Shingleback, Wolfhowl and Eaglesplash (wow, fun times)
- At one point, we branched off into a complicated sub-plot, in which Lavastar tries to kill Rustedstar, but only succeed in chasing him out of the clans. I'm pretty sure he then sent his sons (Volcanopaw and Bonepaw) to hunt him down. At the last minute, Bonepaw decided to take the morally superior option and let's Rustedstar live. For some reason, Rustedstar goes into hiding, and Lavastar hunts him down. I honestly can't remember why Lavastar was so obsessed with killing Rustedstar, but it was very important.
- Back in the main forest, Metalfur decided to start stealing kits. Darkstar takes advantage of this and spreads a rumour saying that Tigersong and the other missing warriors are behind the kit-stealing (should I mention that the kits then became an army of ninjas?) . Nevertheless, the journeying cats choose this incredibly opportune moment to return and actually interrupt a gathering. Darkstar panics and tells his clan to attack them. ThunderClan is understandably confused, so Shadowclan attacks instead. I think at this point, Lavastar had returned from wherever he was.
- theres a huge battle, and at some point ThunderClan realises that Darkstar is evil and he's chased off. Lavastar manages to talk his way out of it, and makes it seem like Darkstar bullied him into joining the dark side. I'm pretty sure this was where Lavastar actually started to become a good (and very manipulative) villain. He makes a big show of welcoming Wolfhowl home, and everyone seems to forget that they've been accused of kit-stealing. All characters go back to their respective clans.
- over in ThunderClan, Whiptail becomes Whipstar (even though Darkstar is still alive). I think Clawshrike is appointed deputy. I think there was a 'reunion' scene between Tigersong and Greytail.
- Tigersong meets with the RiverClan cats on several occasions and they debate their next move. Someone recalls that Eaglesplash apparently knew about their powers (which, by the way, were never fully explained or explored) before everyone else, so they go and visit StormClan, which is functioning normally despite its leader being missing (how??? Do they even notice he's gone?). They talk to Beechnose, who is finally able to shed some backstory on the whole power thing, considering we forgot entirely about Jackalfoot. It turns out that Beechnose has known about the plan to kill the power cats and apparently absorb their powers for quite some time and a long time ago, the final boss villain sent Lavastar to silence him - which explains why Beechnose only has three legs (and may explain Lavastar's obsession with Rustedstar)
- on the way back to ThunderClan, they are intercepted by Feralhawk (who we also forgot existed until this point) who seems to be having some sort of moral crisis and reveals that Darkstar isn't his biological father (?????? are you guys as confused as I am??? I think we also decided that Darkstar was extremely jealous of Jackalfoot and wanted to be mates with Tearstone, which is why he wanted to raise her kits, which is both creepy and weird)
- Tigersong conveniently remembers that she apparently had a brother. Feralhawk is revealed to be said littermate. (wow, how unbearably cliched.)
- Lavastar starts a war with StormClan. Blackshot uses his super-speed (I have nothing to say to this) to stop the invasion, so Lavastar tries to invade ThunderClan instead. At some point the main characters manage to unlock their powers and defeat the bad guys. I can't remember exactly what happens to Darkstar, but Tigersong gets her revenge. They think it's all over, then final boss villain is revealed. It's (gasp!) ThunderClan's medicine cat! For a members, it takes them ages to defeat him, even though its five fully trained warriors against one medicine cat.
- If anything else was supposed to happen, I can't remember what it was.
'Epilogue'
- some apprentices eventually track down Rustedstar (who, apparently, decided to live as a rogue or something) who takes them to a magical disappearing rock - I remember it was distinctly badger-shaped - and shows them where he carved the literal history of the clans into the walls of a cave. This does not sum up or add to the storyline in any way whatsoever, but hey, whatever.2. Falling Ash
Falling Ash was written before Wildspirit was put together. I believe it was written between 2010 and 2011, making it perhaps my oldest fan fiction. It featured a terrible, all-over-the-place plot line, too many sue characters and what is perhaps the worst dialogue I have ever written. Ash was actually written as a comic, so I will transcribe what happens per page, including that stellar original dialogue. Everything has been transcribed exactly as it was in the original drawings, spelling errors and all. I'm slightly embarrassed that this was my longest attempt to draw a comic to date...
As far as I remember, it was supposed to be after The Last Hope, but upon rereading it, it seems more like an alternate 'omen of the stars', but... not really. Honestly, I have no idea where it falls in the cannon timeline, so you're just going to have to put up with it. The allegiances were pretty much the same, with some minor additions;
- Firestar and Sandstorm had another litter of kits (Flarepaw, Blizzardpaw, Thrushpaw and Honeypaw)
- Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight had kits (Redkit and Tigerkit)
- A group of loners joined the clan (Sootfur, Amberpaw, Stormpaw, Badgerpaw and Badger's littermate, whose name I can't remember
- Amberpaw is apprenticed to Jayfeather and Stormpaw to Firestar, but I can't remember the others
- There seem to be other kits as well, but I can't remember their names.
- the main characters were the kits of Lionblaze and Cinderheart - Ashkit, Emberkit and Sunnykit
Page 1:
A stereotypical snapshot of clan life. Brambleclaw is assigning patrols. Bumblestripe, Mousewhisker and Foxleap are hanging around. Lionblaze and Cinderheart confess their undying love for one another. A storm is seen rolling in.
Narration - In ThunderClan... Before we were born... All was normal.
Lionblaze - I Love you Cinderheart.
Cinderheart - I love you to Lionblaze
Brambleclaw - Hollyleaf will lead the patrol. Take Birchfall, Mousewhisker, Sandstorm and Honeypaw
Narration - And then we were born. (Wow. Thanks for that, Ashkit. Evidently I enjoyed cliched, dramatic openings. Apparently I also hated commas.)
Page Two;
The storm has arrived. It's raining. It seems that Cinderheart's kits are coming - Amberpaw runs across the camp with herbs.
Jayfeather - Amberpaw, bring raspberry leaves, quickly!
Amberpaw - Mrrf... coming, Jayfeather! Move aside, let me in! Here's your herbs, Jayfeather.
Page 3;
Jayfeather works on delivering the kits. Outside the nursery, Lionblaze takes shelter under a bush before Brightheart comes to get him.
Jayfeather - Good, put them here by Cinderheart.
Are you ready Cinderheart? (I really don't know why I had to say their names all the time, either.)
Cinderheart - Yep (I told you the dialogue was great)
Brightheart - It's official Lionblaze. You've two sons and a daughter
Lionblaze - Thanks for coming to get me Brightheart.
Page 4;
Lionblaze walks into the nursery, where Cinderheart is nursing the kits. Literally half of this page is taken up by a mediocre drawing of kittens.
Lionblaze - Great Starclan, aren't they just beautiful.
Cinderheart - Mmm, that they are.
Lionblaze - And they're our kits. Yours and mine. (Thanks for that clarification, Lionblaze.)
Kits - Meeeeew! Meeeeeeew!
Narration - That's us. My sister, Sunnykit. My brother, Emberkit. And me, Ashkit. When we were harmless...
(There we go with the overly dramatic dialogue again.)
Page 5;
It's two moons later. A random kit (I can't remember who they're supposed to be) wakes Ashkit up so they can play.
Random she-cat - Ashkit! Wake up sleepyhead!
Ashkit - Huzzz? (?????????)
Random she-cat - The others are already outside, they sent me to wake you up.
Ashkit - Why didn't you say so? (She... she just did... ?) Lets go!
Page 6;
A lovely full page shot of the camp. There are a bunch of cats just hanging around - I'm pretty sure they are Ferncloud, Dustpelt, Cloudtail, Hazeltail and Leafpool. There is a ginger cat who could be... just about anyone.
Page 7;
More kittens appear! They reveal the nature of the game they're playing - annoying the apprentices. It's a classic! The random kits may be Lilykit and Seedkit, but I'm not sure...
Redkit - Hey Ashkit, you're awake at last!
Likykit (?) - You're just in time! We're going to stalk Thrushpaw!
Page 8;
The kits do a terrible job of stalking some apprentices. Thrushpaw and Badgerpaw are just kind of hanging.
Ashkit - Lets go!
Badgerpaw - Don't look now, Thrushpaw, but I think the kits are stalking you.
Thrushpaw (looks dramatically over his shoulder) - Oh really?
Page 9;
Ashkit stalks the apprentices, yet it appears someone is watching... there's a bunch of plants that swish around and a shadowy figure emerges. Dun dun dun!
Narration - Little did we know, our play wasn't harmless. Someone was watching us... for very bad reasons...
Page 10;
A dramatic close up of blood red eyes. (Wow... the cliches are building...)
Narration - When we were made apprentices, the first move against us was made...
Page 11;
There's another time skip to the apprentice ceremony. The clan has gathered around Firestar, who stands on a boulder. Brambleclaw sits awkwardly off to one side. I'm still trying to work out why Ashkit, Emberkit and Sunnykit are the only ones who age throughout this entire thing. They were supposed to be the youngest kits, but are the only ones to be made apprentices...
Firestar - Cats of ThunderClan! We gather today to give 3 kits their apprentice names! Ashkit, Emberkit and Sunnykit, step forward! (Evidently, Firestar is excited.)
Page 12;
Apprentice ceremony continues! It's nothing special.
Firestar - Ivypool, you have proved yourself a worthy warrior many times over. You will be mentor to Sunnypaw.
Cloudtail, you are a loyal warrior with many skills. I trust you will pass on these qualities to your new apprentice. You will be mentor to Emberpaw.
Sootfur, you have been with ThunderClan for a short time, but I would trust you with my life. (wow, amazing) You will be mentor to Ashpaw.
Ashpaw - so what are we going to do first Sootfur? (Note the continuing lack of commas)
Sootfur - We're going to join Firestar's border patrol.
Ashpaw - great!
Page 13;
The border patrol are walking through the forest. Stormpaw also seems to be present. Firestar seems to be impressed by just about everything Ashpaw does. (Sue, much)
Firestar - You're keeping up well, Ashpaw! (Why is Firestar excited by literally everything? He remains the only character able to consistently punctuate his sentences)
Ashpaw - Thank you Firestar
Firestar picks up a scent and reacts badly. There's a stereotypical 'gasp' panel and everything.
Page 14;
Firestar acts like whatever he's scented is nothing. Stormpaw tries to pressure Firestar into telling them what's wrong, but Firestar refuses to tell them. Sootfur becomes extremely overprotective of Ashpaw, and Firestar stalks off, annoyed.
Sootfur - Trouble?
Stormpaw - Firestar, what's wrong?!
Sootfur - Is Ashpaw safe?
Firestar (sweats nervously) - Oh, nothing, Stormpaw, I just thought I smelled... something.
Stormpaw - Something or someone? If I know you, Firestar, you would react that way over a scent if it was nothing
Firestar - let's just get to the border, ok?
Page 15;
They arrive at the border! Surprise surprise, ShadowClan stirs up trouble. Ashpaw and Stormpaw decide to sit down, despite being on patrol...
Firestar - All clear, lets go
ShadowClan cats - well well well, what have we got here?
ShadowClan cats - GROWL GROWL
Firestar - great, just great...
Crowfrost - ThunderClan cats hanging around the border AGAIN? (Um, yes, that's kind of the point of a border patrol)
Page 16;
In which Crowfrost starts a fight..
Firestar - We're just doing a patrol, Crowfrost. Let us go in peace.
Crowfrost - ThunderClan always seem to be 'just doing a patrol'
Firestar - We're not looking for a fight.
Crowfrost - No, but I am...
Crowfrost - SHADOWCLAN, ATTACK
Page 17;
They be fightin'. Ashpaw freaks out, understandably so.
Sootfur - Ashpaw, run!
Sootfur - Ashpaw, run! (I have no idea why he needed to say it twice...)
Ashpaw - All the blood... got to run... got to get away... (are you sure you're cut out to be a warrior, Ashpaw?)
Page 18;
Ashpaw runs away, and in some incredible stroke of luck, literally runs into Greystripe and his patrol.
Ashpaw - Mrrrowwwwww
Ashpaw (slams into Greystripe) - Unah (Are you impressed by my onomatopoeia skills yet?)
Greystripe - huh?
Greystripe - Ashpaw?
Whitewing - Where are Firestar and the rest?
Poppyfrost - Why are you alone?
Page 19;
Ashpaw reveals that they've been attacked, and the hunting patrol charges off to rescue their companions. Whitewing seems to be the only once concerned about Ashpaw's safety.
Ashpaw - border patrol... ShadowClan patrol... pant pant... attacked... told to run... pant... pant... patrol in trouble
Greystripe - ok warriors, lets go kick some ShadowClan tail! (It appears Greystripe can punctuate his sentences as well.)
Poppyfrost - Lets go!
Whitewing - stay close and hide when we get to the border ok, Ashpaw
Ashpaw - ok
??? - COME ON, ASHPAW
Page 20;
Greystripe to the rescue! Firestar and Crowfrost continue to battle it out. Firestar appears to be loosing. Greystripe appears to break someone's spine...
Ashpaw hides under a bush.
Greystripe - Ashpaw! Stay hidden here!
Ashpaw - Ok.
Greystripe uses tackle! It's super effective!
Crowfrost - ThunderClan territory will be ours!
Firestar - NEVER!
Page 21;
Ashpaw is approached by a mysterious stranger! Sootfur takes a beating.
??? - Ashpaw
Ashpaw - huh?
??? (Who turns out to be a stranger with a very threatening appearance) - do not fear me, young one. I am your friend. (Sure. Whatever you say.)
??? - You are strong and brave. (Cool. Thanks.) So why are you up here? (Maybe because he's an apprentice on his first trip out of camp???)
??? - And besides, isn't that your mentor out there?
Ashpaw - Sootfur... the strangers right! I have to help Sootfur! (Three more warriors just arrived to help him, he'll be fine.)
Page 22;
Ashpaw leaps into the fray! It doesn't end well - he's kicked in the face and blacks out.
Ashpaw - IM COMING, SOOTFUR!
??? - YES!
Page 23;
It's nothing, just a blank page.
Page 24;
They bring Ashpaw back to camp, where Cinderheart is incredibly distressed and Lionblaze tries to attack Sootfur...
Jayfeather - Bring him into my den
Firestar - ok Jayfeather (Firestar can apparently talk and carry Ashpaw at the same time.)
Cinderheart - Waaaaa! My kit!
Sandstorm (?) - Its ok, Cinderheart
Lionblaze - growl
Lionblaze - growl
Lionblaze - I TRUSTED YOU TO KEEP HIM SAFE!
Sootfur - gasp!
Page 25;
Greystripe intervenes (and somehow stops Lionblaze mid-flight, possibly saving Sootfur's life) and Jayfeather delivers an ominous message instead of treating the injured cats.
Greystripe - Lionblaze, wait. Ashpaw's blood stains all our paws. (Ashpaw isn't even bleeding. He's just unconscious.)
Lionblaze - I won't attack you Greystripe. Today. (I'd watch my back if I were you, Greystripe.)
Jayfeather - Dark things are coming, Lionblaze. You'd be wise to prepare. For battle. (You're killing me, Jayfeather.)
Page 26;
Jayfeather continues to ignore the injured cats, and goes into his den.
Jayfeather - I'll be in my den if you need me.
Jayfeather - how's Ashpaw?
Amberpaw - He's still out. I've put damp moss on his eye and he seems ok. (Great doctor work there, Amberpaw. We think Ashpaw's ok, everyone.)
Page 27;
Jayfeather decided to take a nap. He tries to walk in Ashpaw's dreams - which would be ok, expect for the fact that he really has no cause to believe that anything out of the ordinary is actually about to happen. It's just ShadowClan being ShadowClan, after all.
Jayfeather - I'm taking a nap
Amberpaw - ???
Jayfeather - come on,... come on
Page 28;
Ashpaw is dreaming! He wakes up in.... a mysterious forest! There, he meets the stranger, who, at this point, has nothing interesting to add to the conversation except to point out that they don't have the time to talk.
Ashpaw - Wha? Where am I?
??? - you're awake at last.
??? - looks like we need to do some training. Someone's coming we'll talk later
Page 29;
A wild Jayfeather appears!
Jayfeather - Ashpaw!
Ashpaw - Jayfeather
Jayfeather - come on, it's not safe here
Ashpaw - Jayfeather where are we?
Jayfeather - ... we have to go (stop dodging the question)
??? - One day Jayfeather... one day
Page 30;
Back in ThunderClan, Honeypaw and Badgerpaw come to talk to Jayfeather.
Badgerpaw - do you think he's sharing with Starclan?
Honeypaw - he doesn't need to sleep on top of Ashpaw for that Badgerpaw? (Wait, why is this a question?)
Jayfeather - Honeypaw? Badgerpaw? Why are you here (Maybe because you still haven't treated the cats injured in the border skirmish)
Badgerpaw - Firestar sent us to wake you and Ashpaw for the gathering.
Page 31;
Ashpaw wakes, and had somehow managed to hear the entire conversation despite being asleep.
Ashpaw - Firestar wants me to come to the gathering?
Badgerpaw - of course!
Jayfeather - you're not going anywhere without my permission (so... all the other injured cats can, but Ashpaw can't... seems legit.)
Ashpaw - what are we waiting for? Let's go!
Page 32;
It's nothing but a blank page with "Clan life. How close we came to destroying it" written across the top.
Page 33;
The gathering! Ashpaw and his siblings look worried white the other cats go about their business. Onestar, Mistystar and Blackstar are sitting in the great oak.
Page 34;
Hollyleaf teases the new apprentices and gets called out by Sorreltail.
Hollyleaf - scared?
Sorreltail - don't tease, Hollyleaf
Page 35;
Flarepaw takes pity on Ashpaw and co and decided to introduce them to some other apprentices.
Flarepaw - Don't worry, Hollyleaf teases all the new apprentices (yes, I'm sure that's what they're worried about, not the huge amount of cats before them) There are some other apprentices under the elm saplings
Sunnypaw - ok Flarepaw. Come on guys, let's go.
Flarepaw - I give you... Spottedpaw of WindClan, Frostpaw of ShadowClan and Duckpaw of RiverClan (wow, an apprentice for each clan. How convenient.)
Page 36;
Firestar starts the gathering and introduces the new apprentices. Some random cats cheer for them.
Firestar - cats of the clans! The gathering has commenced! (Firestar is back to being unbearably excited.) ThunderClan brings to the gathering our three new apprentices! Ashpaw, Emberpaw and Sunnypaw!
Random cats - ASHPAW EMBERPAW SUNNYPAW
Page 37;
Firestar also mentions the attack at the border. Blackstar denies the whole thing, but Onestar is quick to jump in and defends Firestar.
Firestar - However... a ShadowClan patrol attacked Ashpaw on his first day out. (Wait, you're not going to mention the six other ThunderClan cats involved?)
Blackstar (sweats nervously) - phfff, my Clan did nothing of the sort.
Onestar - then how do you explain the scars Blackstar? I can see them from the top of the tree. (Ashpaw doesn't have any scars. Just a black eye.)
Page 38;
Despite this, Onestar is more concerned with his own clan, and ends up leaping out of the great oak because it appears he'd rather stand on a random boulder (why?)
Onestar - Anyway, WindClan welcomes our two new warriors, Boulderclaw and Furzefoot. Prey is running well in WindClan and we have no further issues (straight to the point I see.)
Page 39;
The leaders attempt to cut ShadowClan out of the gathering but Blackstar refuses to be silenced.
Onestar - Mistystar? Does RiverClan have a report to make?
Mistystar - RiverClan is all clear (clearly, nothing ever happens in this setting)
Onestar - then I guess the gathering is-
Blackstar - AHEM
Page 40;
It seems that Blackstar at least, has something to report...
Blackstar - ShadowClan still has to welcome our newest warrior. Thorntooth.
Greystripe - I don't trust him, Brambleclaw (whatever happened to not judging a book by its cover?)
Brambleclaw - neither do I. (On what basis are we making this judgement????)
Page 41;
It's the next morning in the ThunderClan camp. Firestar and Greystripe (?????) want to talk to Jayfeather.
Firestar - Jayfeather? Can we talk to you?
Jayfeather - Firestar, Greystripe, I'm here to help I guess (why did I think it necessary to call everyone by name all the time???)
Firestar - actually, this concerns Lionblaze and Dovewing as well.
Page 42;
Jayfeather summons his minions.
Jayfeather - Lionblaze! Dovewing
Dovewing - I wonder what he wants
Lionblaze - Only one way to find out
They run dramatically across the camp.
Page 43;
The minions arrive. Firestar and Greystripe finish each other's sentences.
Lionblaze - we're here (yes, we know. We just watched you run over.)
Greystripe - Well...
Firestar - I guess it started this morning...
Page 44;
Firestar - when I scented Tigerstar in the woods. (Gee, I wonder who Ashpaw has been talking to?)
Strangely enough, everyone seems shocked by this revelation except for Jayfeather, who just looks bored. Up until this point, it was assumed that Firestar had already told Greystripe... but apparently not.
Page 45;
Firestar - right after then the patrol was attacked...
Greystripe - plus the appearance of Thorntooth...
Dovewing - none of it makes any sense, unless...
Lionblaze - there's someone corrupting ShadowClan (????? How did you arrive at this conclusion????? )
Page 46;
Jayfeather has something to say, but is interrupted (unfortunately)
Jayfeather - And, uh, the other day I saw -
??? - WHERES JAYFEATHER
Firestar - what's that? (It's obviously someone screaming.)
Jayfeather - it sounds like a cat in trouble! (Why do none of them realise that 'where's jayfeather' beating screamed across the camp means that someone is hurt???)
Page 47;
Surprisingly, people are hurt. Cloudtail, Dustpelt and a calico cat are lying in the ground, bleeding.
Firestar - what happened here! (Why is this not a question?)
Grey and white cat (maybe Mousewhisker?) - our patrol was attacked by ShadowClan
Page 48;
Jayfeather and Amberpaw finally start acting like proper medicine cats.
Jayfeather - Amberpaw bring everything (I'm ready to go back in time and slap my younger self. What did I have against punctuation?)
Amberpaw - Can we afford that this close to leafbare? (I should point out that every single page drawn indicates that it's currently summer or spring)
Jayfeather - barely
Firestar - we can't go on like this, Greystripe... (it's only been two days???)
Page 49;
Early the following morning... (I may have hated punctuation, but I sure loved time skips - or rather didn't know how to tell a decent story without them.) Ashpaw wakes up in the apprentices den, and notes it is curiously empty.
Firestar - cats of ThunderClan! Gather beneath the highledge!
Ashpaw - that's Firestar (thank you, captain obvious)
Ashpaw - were are Stormpaw, Molepaw and Cherrypaw?
Flarepaw - already in the clearing I expect
Page 50 (I can't believe that this is halfway to 100...)
Firestar addresses the Clan.
Firestar - by now you all will have heard about the problem with ShadowClan. I believe we can best solve this by making new warriors (ok...?) Molepaw, Cherrypaw, Stormpaw, step forward.
Firestar - do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect and defend this clan, even at the cost of your life?
Stormpaw - we do (why are you speaking for everyone?)
Page 51;
Firestar - cats of ThunderClan, I give you Molestep, Cherryfeather and Stormfoot (this has got to be the worst warrior ceremony ever)
Emberpaw - wow (awesome, wow. I should point out that this is the only thing that Emberpaw every says.)
Ashpaw - yeah, they're warriors now!
Page 52
Another time skip. Ashpaw is back in the dark forest and somehow manages to overpower a bunch of cats.
Narration - moons pass...
Ashpaw - hisssssss!
??? - rheer! (There I go with that amazing onomatopoeia again...)
Narration - I've been training with Tigerstar for two moons. (Thanks for the clarification)
Ashpaw - Ha! Who's a clumsy mouse brain now, Shredtail?!
Shredtail - growl
Page 53;
Tigerstar appears unhappy with this turn of events and introduces another mysterious stranger to the mix.
Tigerstar - STOP! Ashpaw, you were fine, but Shredtail, you were pathetic. In fact, I've brought someone to help with your training (wait, I'm confused. Are we training Shredtail or Ashpaw?)
??? - hello Shredtail
Shredtail - no! Not you!
Page 54;
??? - sorry I'm late Tigerstar. I was with Thorntooth
Ashpaw - Tigerstar, who's that?
Tigerstar - Ashpaw, this is Mapleshade. Mapleshade, this is Ashpaw
Shredtail - uhhhhh
Mapleshade - grrrr, on your feet Shredtail (nobody cares about Ashpaw anymore)
Ashpaw - Tigerstar, isn't Thorntooth-
??? - ASHPAW
Page 55;
Cinderheart wakes Ashpaw up while Lionblaze and Sootfur shirk their duties.
Cinderheart - Ashpaw! Wake up!
Ashpaw - *yawn* morning. What do you need.
Cinderheart - come hunting with us! (Cinderheart, pay attention to your other children)
Lionblaze - that's good to hear
Sootfur - Ashpaw is a good apprentice
(I'm pretty sure these speech bubbles were drawn in the wrong place. Hence why it makes no sense.)
Page 56;
Meanwhile, Jayfeather faces a moral dilemma...
Jayfeather - I can't take it anymore (take what?) my dreams are haunted all I see is death. What will happen if Ashpaw continues this way? I should tell Lionblaze no I shouldn't he has the right to know uh, why is everything so complicated!!!! (I'm sure that should be a question...) if I keep silent it could destroy the clan but if I speak up what will happen to Ashpaw? In the end there is only one option I must speak with StarClan.
(The lack of punctuation on this page physically pains me.)
Page 57;
Jayfeather arrives at the moonpool where a mysterious cat calls out to him.
Jayfeather - StarClan please have an answer for me...
??? - Jayfeather!
58;
I think the mysterious cat is supposed to be Bluestar, but I'm not sure... Mystery Cat is also wearing a bandanna...
Bluestar - you have come seeking answers, yes?
Jayfeather - please, the future of the clan is at risk
Bluestar - what about Ashpaw?
Jayfeather - do I have a choice?
59;
Bluestar - there is always a chance (do you mean 'choice'?). You of all cats should know that.
Jayfeather - don't remind me
Bluestar - I have to warn you Jayfeather. This is only the start (how about you just answer his questions?)
Page 60;
Bluestar - dark forces are in the rise.
Jayfeather - do you mean the dark forest?
Bluestar - um not quite (???)
Jayfeather - how can I help my clan?
Bluestar - And we believe Ashpaw is the key (um, thanks??)
Page 61;
The sun is rising! It's time for Jayfeather to go.
Bluestar - You must wake now Jayfeather. Your clan mates need you. StarClan will always be with you.
Jayfeather - Sunrise. Time to go.
Page 62;
Jayfeather is either back at the camp, or Lionblaze had suddenly appeared at the moon pool. It's not entirely clear.
Jayfeather - Lionblaze we need to talk
Lionblaze - Now?
Jayfeather - no tomorrow. YES NOW
Page 63;
At the border, Ashpaw picks up a scent. Some cats try to start some trouble.
Ashpaw - hey! I can scent ShadowClan!
Sootfur - it's true!
??? - how embarrassing! A half grown kit scented is before a warrior!
??? - But what else would you expect from a loner?
That is all I ever wrote for this. I can't really remember how to rest of it was supposed to go - something of the lines of the dark forest trying to overthrow the clans by corrupting Shadowclan via Thorntooth (while Blackstar remains oblivious). Ashpaw and co were prophesied to either save or destroy the clans. I'm leaning towards destruction based on how often Ashpaw talks about almost destroying clan life. I do remember that their warrior names were Ashwhisker, Emberheart and Sunnytail. I'm pretty sure Emberheart was supposed to die. Amberpaw becomes Ambersky at some point and I seem to remember him becoming the most talented medicine cat in history. I think Tawneypelt comes to ThunderClan at some point, but eventually returns home to ShadowClan and becomes the leader ( I only know that because I have the allegiances I wrote out)
As far as I remember, it was supposed to be after The Last Hope, but upon rereading it, it seems more like an alternate 'omen of the stars', but... not really. Honestly, I have no idea where it falls in the cannon timeline, so you're just going to have to put up with it. The allegiances were pretty much the same, with some minor additions;
- Firestar and Sandstorm had another litter of kits (Flarepaw, Blizzardpaw, Thrushpaw and Honeypaw)
- Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight had kits (Redkit and Tigerkit)
- A group of loners joined the clan (Sootfur, Amberpaw, Stormpaw, Badgerpaw and Badger's littermate, whose name I can't remember
- Amberpaw is apprenticed to Jayfeather and Stormpaw to Firestar, but I can't remember the others
- There seem to be other kits as well, but I can't remember their names.
- the main characters were the kits of Lionblaze and Cinderheart - Ashkit, Emberkit and Sunnykit
Page 1:
A stereotypical snapshot of clan life. Brambleclaw is assigning patrols. Bumblestripe, Mousewhisker and Foxleap are hanging around. Lionblaze and Cinderheart confess their undying love for one another. A storm is seen rolling in.
Narration - In ThunderClan... Before we were born... All was normal.
Lionblaze - I Love you Cinderheart.
Cinderheart - I love you to Lionblaze
Brambleclaw - Hollyleaf will lead the patrol. Take Birchfall, Mousewhisker, Sandstorm and Honeypaw
Narration - And then we were born. (Wow. Thanks for that, Ashkit. Evidently I enjoyed cliched, dramatic openings. Apparently I also hated commas.)
Page Two;
The storm has arrived. It's raining. It seems that Cinderheart's kits are coming - Amberpaw runs across the camp with herbs.
Jayfeather - Amberpaw, bring raspberry leaves, quickly!
Amberpaw - Mrrf... coming, Jayfeather! Move aside, let me in! Here's your herbs, Jayfeather.
Page 3;
Jayfeather works on delivering the kits. Outside the nursery, Lionblaze takes shelter under a bush before Brightheart comes to get him.
Jayfeather - Good, put them here by Cinderheart.
Are you ready Cinderheart? (I really don't know why I had to say their names all the time, either.)
Cinderheart - Yep (I told you the dialogue was great)
Brightheart - It's official Lionblaze. You've two sons and a daughter
Lionblaze - Thanks for coming to get me Brightheart.
Page 4;
Lionblaze walks into the nursery, where Cinderheart is nursing the kits. Literally half of this page is taken up by a mediocre drawing of kittens.
Lionblaze - Great Starclan, aren't they just beautiful.
Cinderheart - Mmm, that they are.
Lionblaze - And they're our kits. Yours and mine. (Thanks for that clarification, Lionblaze.)
Kits - Meeeeew! Meeeeeeew!
Narration - That's us. My sister, Sunnykit. My brother, Emberkit. And me, Ashkit. When we were harmless...
(There we go with the overly dramatic dialogue again.)
Page 5;
It's two moons later. A random kit (I can't remember who they're supposed to be) wakes Ashkit up so they can play.
Random she-cat - Ashkit! Wake up sleepyhead!
Ashkit - Huzzz? (?????????)
Random she-cat - The others are already outside, they sent me to wake you up.
Ashkit - Why didn't you say so? (She... she just did... ?) Lets go!
Page 6;
A lovely full page shot of the camp. There are a bunch of cats just hanging around - I'm pretty sure they are Ferncloud, Dustpelt, Cloudtail, Hazeltail and Leafpool. There is a ginger cat who could be... just about anyone.
Page 7;
More kittens appear! They reveal the nature of the game they're playing - annoying the apprentices. It's a classic! The random kits may be Lilykit and Seedkit, but I'm not sure...
Redkit - Hey Ashkit, you're awake at last!
Likykit (?) - You're just in time! We're going to stalk Thrushpaw!
Page 8;
The kits do a terrible job of stalking some apprentices. Thrushpaw and Badgerpaw are just kind of hanging.
Ashkit - Lets go!
Badgerpaw - Don't look now, Thrushpaw, but I think the kits are stalking you.
Thrushpaw (looks dramatically over his shoulder) - Oh really?
Page 9;
Ashkit stalks the apprentices, yet it appears someone is watching... there's a bunch of plants that swish around and a shadowy figure emerges. Dun dun dun!
Narration - Little did we know, our play wasn't harmless. Someone was watching us... for very bad reasons...
Page 10;
A dramatic close up of blood red eyes. (Wow... the cliches are building...)
Narration - When we were made apprentices, the first move against us was made...
Page 11;
There's another time skip to the apprentice ceremony. The clan has gathered around Firestar, who stands on a boulder. Brambleclaw sits awkwardly off to one side. I'm still trying to work out why Ashkit, Emberkit and Sunnykit are the only ones who age throughout this entire thing. They were supposed to be the youngest kits, but are the only ones to be made apprentices...
Firestar - Cats of ThunderClan! We gather today to give 3 kits their apprentice names! Ashkit, Emberkit and Sunnykit, step forward! (Evidently, Firestar is excited.)
Page 12;
Apprentice ceremony continues! It's nothing special.
Firestar - Ivypool, you have proved yourself a worthy warrior many times over. You will be mentor to Sunnypaw.
Cloudtail, you are a loyal warrior with many skills. I trust you will pass on these qualities to your new apprentice. You will be mentor to Emberpaw.
Sootfur, you have been with ThunderClan for a short time, but I would trust you with my life. (wow, amazing) You will be mentor to Ashpaw.
Ashpaw - so what are we going to do first Sootfur? (Note the continuing lack of commas)
Sootfur - We're going to join Firestar's border patrol.
Ashpaw - great!
Page 13;
The border patrol are walking through the forest. Stormpaw also seems to be present. Firestar seems to be impressed by just about everything Ashpaw does. (Sue, much)
Firestar - You're keeping up well, Ashpaw! (Why is Firestar excited by literally everything? He remains the only character able to consistently punctuate his sentences)
Ashpaw - Thank you Firestar
Firestar picks up a scent and reacts badly. There's a stereotypical 'gasp' panel and everything.
Page 14;
Firestar acts like whatever he's scented is nothing. Stormpaw tries to pressure Firestar into telling them what's wrong, but Firestar refuses to tell them. Sootfur becomes extremely overprotective of Ashpaw, and Firestar stalks off, annoyed.
Sootfur - Trouble?
Stormpaw - Firestar, what's wrong?!
Sootfur - Is Ashpaw safe?
Firestar (sweats nervously) - Oh, nothing, Stormpaw, I just thought I smelled... something.
Stormpaw - Something or someone? If I know you, Firestar, you would react that way over a scent if it was nothing
Firestar - let's just get to the border, ok?
Page 15;
They arrive at the border! Surprise surprise, ShadowClan stirs up trouble. Ashpaw and Stormpaw decide to sit down, despite being on patrol...
Firestar - All clear, lets go
ShadowClan cats - well well well, what have we got here?
ShadowClan cats - GROWL GROWL
Firestar - great, just great...
Crowfrost - ThunderClan cats hanging around the border AGAIN? (Um, yes, that's kind of the point of a border patrol)
Page 16;
In which Crowfrost starts a fight..
Firestar - We're just doing a patrol, Crowfrost. Let us go in peace.
Crowfrost - ThunderClan always seem to be 'just doing a patrol'
Firestar - We're not looking for a fight.
Crowfrost - No, but I am...
Crowfrost - SHADOWCLAN, ATTACK
Page 17;
They be fightin'. Ashpaw freaks out, understandably so.
Sootfur - Ashpaw, run!
Sootfur - Ashpaw, run! (I have no idea why he needed to say it twice...)
Ashpaw - All the blood... got to run... got to get away... (are you sure you're cut out to be a warrior, Ashpaw?)
Page 18;
Ashpaw runs away, and in some incredible stroke of luck, literally runs into Greystripe and his patrol.
Ashpaw - Mrrrowwwwww
Ashpaw (slams into Greystripe) - Unah (Are you impressed by my onomatopoeia skills yet?)
Greystripe - huh?
Greystripe - Ashpaw?
Whitewing - Where are Firestar and the rest?
Poppyfrost - Why are you alone?
Page 19;
Ashpaw reveals that they've been attacked, and the hunting patrol charges off to rescue their companions. Whitewing seems to be the only once concerned about Ashpaw's safety.
Ashpaw - border patrol... ShadowClan patrol... pant pant... attacked... told to run... pant... pant... patrol in trouble
Greystripe - ok warriors, lets go kick some ShadowClan tail! (It appears Greystripe can punctuate his sentences as well.)
Poppyfrost - Lets go!
Whitewing - stay close and hide when we get to the border ok, Ashpaw
Ashpaw - ok
??? - COME ON, ASHPAW
Page 20;
Greystripe to the rescue! Firestar and Crowfrost continue to battle it out. Firestar appears to be loosing. Greystripe appears to break someone's spine...
Ashpaw hides under a bush.
Greystripe - Ashpaw! Stay hidden here!
Ashpaw - Ok.
Greystripe uses tackle! It's super effective!
Crowfrost - ThunderClan territory will be ours!
Firestar - NEVER!
Page 21;
Ashpaw is approached by a mysterious stranger! Sootfur takes a beating.
??? - Ashpaw
Ashpaw - huh?
??? (Who turns out to be a stranger with a very threatening appearance) - do not fear me, young one. I am your friend. (Sure. Whatever you say.)
??? - You are strong and brave. (Cool. Thanks.) So why are you up here? (Maybe because he's an apprentice on his first trip out of camp???)
??? - And besides, isn't that your mentor out there?
Ashpaw - Sootfur... the strangers right! I have to help Sootfur! (Three more warriors just arrived to help him, he'll be fine.)
Page 22;
Ashpaw leaps into the fray! It doesn't end well - he's kicked in the face and blacks out.
Ashpaw - IM COMING, SOOTFUR!
??? - YES!
Page 23;
It's nothing, just a blank page.
Page 24;
They bring Ashpaw back to camp, where Cinderheart is incredibly distressed and Lionblaze tries to attack Sootfur...
Jayfeather - Bring him into my den
Firestar - ok Jayfeather (Firestar can apparently talk and carry Ashpaw at the same time.)
Cinderheart - Waaaaa! My kit!
Sandstorm (?) - Its ok, Cinderheart
Lionblaze - growl
Lionblaze - growl
Lionblaze - I TRUSTED YOU TO KEEP HIM SAFE!
Sootfur - gasp!
Page 25;
Greystripe intervenes (and somehow stops Lionblaze mid-flight, possibly saving Sootfur's life) and Jayfeather delivers an ominous message instead of treating the injured cats.
Greystripe - Lionblaze, wait. Ashpaw's blood stains all our paws. (Ashpaw isn't even bleeding. He's just unconscious.)
Lionblaze - I won't attack you Greystripe. Today. (I'd watch my back if I were you, Greystripe.)
Jayfeather - Dark things are coming, Lionblaze. You'd be wise to prepare. For battle. (You're killing me, Jayfeather.)
Page 26;
Jayfeather continues to ignore the injured cats, and goes into his den.
Jayfeather - I'll be in my den if you need me.
Jayfeather - how's Ashpaw?
Amberpaw - He's still out. I've put damp moss on his eye and he seems ok. (Great doctor work there, Amberpaw. We think Ashpaw's ok, everyone.)
Page 27;
Jayfeather decided to take a nap. He tries to walk in Ashpaw's dreams - which would be ok, expect for the fact that he really has no cause to believe that anything out of the ordinary is actually about to happen. It's just ShadowClan being ShadowClan, after all.
Jayfeather - I'm taking a nap
Amberpaw - ???
Jayfeather - come on,... come on
Page 28;
Ashpaw is dreaming! He wakes up in.... a mysterious forest! There, he meets the stranger, who, at this point, has nothing interesting to add to the conversation except to point out that they don't have the time to talk.
Ashpaw - Wha? Where am I?
??? - you're awake at last.
??? - looks like we need to do some training. Someone's coming we'll talk later
Page 29;
A wild Jayfeather appears!
Jayfeather - Ashpaw!
Ashpaw - Jayfeather
Jayfeather - come on, it's not safe here
Ashpaw - Jayfeather where are we?
Jayfeather - ... we have to go (stop dodging the question)
??? - One day Jayfeather... one day
Page 30;
Back in ThunderClan, Honeypaw and Badgerpaw come to talk to Jayfeather.
Badgerpaw - do you think he's sharing with Starclan?
Honeypaw - he doesn't need to sleep on top of Ashpaw for that Badgerpaw? (Wait, why is this a question?)
Jayfeather - Honeypaw? Badgerpaw? Why are you here (Maybe because you still haven't treated the cats injured in the border skirmish)
Badgerpaw - Firestar sent us to wake you and Ashpaw for the gathering.
Page 31;
Ashpaw wakes, and had somehow managed to hear the entire conversation despite being asleep.
Ashpaw - Firestar wants me to come to the gathering?
Badgerpaw - of course!
Jayfeather - you're not going anywhere without my permission (so... all the other injured cats can, but Ashpaw can't... seems legit.)
Ashpaw - what are we waiting for? Let's go!
Page 32;
It's nothing but a blank page with "Clan life. How close we came to destroying it" written across the top.
Page 33;
The gathering! Ashpaw and his siblings look worried white the other cats go about their business. Onestar, Mistystar and Blackstar are sitting in the great oak.
Page 34;
Hollyleaf teases the new apprentices and gets called out by Sorreltail.
Hollyleaf - scared?
Sorreltail - don't tease, Hollyleaf
Page 35;
Flarepaw takes pity on Ashpaw and co and decided to introduce them to some other apprentices.
Flarepaw - Don't worry, Hollyleaf teases all the new apprentices (yes, I'm sure that's what they're worried about, not the huge amount of cats before them) There are some other apprentices under the elm saplings
Sunnypaw - ok Flarepaw. Come on guys, let's go.
Flarepaw - I give you... Spottedpaw of WindClan, Frostpaw of ShadowClan and Duckpaw of RiverClan (wow, an apprentice for each clan. How convenient.)
Page 36;
Firestar starts the gathering and introduces the new apprentices. Some random cats cheer for them.
Firestar - cats of the clans! The gathering has commenced! (Firestar is back to being unbearably excited.) ThunderClan brings to the gathering our three new apprentices! Ashpaw, Emberpaw and Sunnypaw!
Random cats - ASHPAW EMBERPAW SUNNYPAW
Page 37;
Firestar also mentions the attack at the border. Blackstar denies the whole thing, but Onestar is quick to jump in and defends Firestar.
Firestar - However... a ShadowClan patrol attacked Ashpaw on his first day out. (Wait, you're not going to mention the six other ThunderClan cats involved?)
Blackstar (sweats nervously) - phfff, my Clan did nothing of the sort.
Onestar - then how do you explain the scars Blackstar? I can see them from the top of the tree. (Ashpaw doesn't have any scars. Just a black eye.)
Page 38;
Despite this, Onestar is more concerned with his own clan, and ends up leaping out of the great oak because it appears he'd rather stand on a random boulder (why?)
Onestar - Anyway, WindClan welcomes our two new warriors, Boulderclaw and Furzefoot. Prey is running well in WindClan and we have no further issues (straight to the point I see.)
Page 39;
The leaders attempt to cut ShadowClan out of the gathering but Blackstar refuses to be silenced.
Onestar - Mistystar? Does RiverClan have a report to make?
Mistystar - RiverClan is all clear (clearly, nothing ever happens in this setting)
Onestar - then I guess the gathering is-
Blackstar - AHEM
Page 40;
It seems that Blackstar at least, has something to report...
Blackstar - ShadowClan still has to welcome our newest warrior. Thorntooth.
Greystripe - I don't trust him, Brambleclaw (whatever happened to not judging a book by its cover?)
Brambleclaw - neither do I. (On what basis are we making this judgement????)
Page 41;
It's the next morning in the ThunderClan camp. Firestar and Greystripe (?????) want to talk to Jayfeather.
Firestar - Jayfeather? Can we talk to you?
Jayfeather - Firestar, Greystripe, I'm here to help I guess (why did I think it necessary to call everyone by name all the time???)
Firestar - actually, this concerns Lionblaze and Dovewing as well.
Page 42;
Jayfeather summons his minions.
Jayfeather - Lionblaze! Dovewing
Dovewing - I wonder what he wants
Lionblaze - Only one way to find out
They run dramatically across the camp.
Page 43;
The minions arrive. Firestar and Greystripe finish each other's sentences.
Lionblaze - we're here (yes, we know. We just watched you run over.)
Greystripe - Well...
Firestar - I guess it started this morning...
Page 44;
Firestar - when I scented Tigerstar in the woods. (Gee, I wonder who Ashpaw has been talking to?)
Strangely enough, everyone seems shocked by this revelation except for Jayfeather, who just looks bored. Up until this point, it was assumed that Firestar had already told Greystripe... but apparently not.
Page 45;
Firestar - right after then the patrol was attacked...
Greystripe - plus the appearance of Thorntooth...
Dovewing - none of it makes any sense, unless...
Lionblaze - there's someone corrupting ShadowClan (????? How did you arrive at this conclusion????? )
Page 46;
Jayfeather has something to say, but is interrupted (unfortunately)
Jayfeather - And, uh, the other day I saw -
??? - WHERES JAYFEATHER
Firestar - what's that? (It's obviously someone screaming.)
Jayfeather - it sounds like a cat in trouble! (Why do none of them realise that 'where's jayfeather' beating screamed across the camp means that someone is hurt???)
Page 47;
Surprisingly, people are hurt. Cloudtail, Dustpelt and a calico cat are lying in the ground, bleeding.
Firestar - what happened here! (Why is this not a question?)
Grey and white cat (maybe Mousewhisker?) - our patrol was attacked by ShadowClan
Page 48;
Jayfeather and Amberpaw finally start acting like proper medicine cats.
Jayfeather - Amberpaw bring everything (I'm ready to go back in time and slap my younger self. What did I have against punctuation?)
Amberpaw - Can we afford that this close to leafbare? (I should point out that every single page drawn indicates that it's currently summer or spring)
Jayfeather - barely
Firestar - we can't go on like this, Greystripe... (it's only been two days???)
Page 49;
Early the following morning... (I may have hated punctuation, but I sure loved time skips - or rather didn't know how to tell a decent story without them.) Ashpaw wakes up in the apprentices den, and notes it is curiously empty.
Firestar - cats of ThunderClan! Gather beneath the highledge!
Ashpaw - that's Firestar (thank you, captain obvious)
Ashpaw - were are Stormpaw, Molepaw and Cherrypaw?
Flarepaw - already in the clearing I expect
Page 50 (I can't believe that this is halfway to 100...)
Firestar addresses the Clan.
Firestar - by now you all will have heard about the problem with ShadowClan. I believe we can best solve this by making new warriors (ok...?) Molepaw, Cherrypaw, Stormpaw, step forward.
Firestar - do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect and defend this clan, even at the cost of your life?
Stormpaw - we do (why are you speaking for everyone?)
Page 51;
Firestar - cats of ThunderClan, I give you Molestep, Cherryfeather and Stormfoot (this has got to be the worst warrior ceremony ever)
Emberpaw - wow (
Ashpaw - yeah, they're warriors now!
Page 52
Another time skip. Ashpaw is back in the dark forest and somehow manages to overpower a bunch of cats.
Narration - moons pass...
Ashpaw - hisssssss!
??? - rheer! (There I go with that amazing onomatopoeia again...)
Narration - I've been training with Tigerstar for two moons. (Thanks for the clarification)
Ashpaw - Ha! Who's a clumsy mouse brain now, Shredtail?!
Shredtail - growl
Page 53;
Tigerstar appears unhappy with this turn of events and introduces another mysterious stranger to the mix.
Tigerstar - STOP! Ashpaw, you were fine, but Shredtail, you were pathetic. In fact, I've brought someone to help with your training (wait, I'm confused. Are we training Shredtail or Ashpaw?)
??? - hello Shredtail
Shredtail - no! Not you!
Page 54;
??? - sorry I'm late Tigerstar. I was with Thorntooth
Ashpaw - Tigerstar, who's that?
Tigerstar - Ashpaw, this is Mapleshade. Mapleshade, this is Ashpaw
Shredtail - uhhhhh
Mapleshade - grrrr, on your feet Shredtail (nobody cares about Ashpaw anymore)
Ashpaw - Tigerstar, isn't Thorntooth-
??? - ASHPAW
Page 55;
Cinderheart wakes Ashpaw up while Lionblaze and Sootfur shirk their duties.
Cinderheart - Ashpaw! Wake up!
Ashpaw - *yawn* morning. What do you need.
Cinderheart - come hunting with us! (Cinderheart, pay attention to your other children)
Lionblaze - that's good to hear
Sootfur - Ashpaw is a good apprentice
(I'm pretty sure these speech bubbles were drawn in the wrong place. Hence why it makes no sense.)
Page 56;
Meanwhile, Jayfeather faces a moral dilemma...
Jayfeather - I can't take it anymore (take what?) my dreams are haunted all I see is death. What will happen if Ashpaw continues this way? I should tell Lionblaze no I shouldn't he has the right to know uh, why is everything so complicated!!!! (I'm sure that should be a question...) if I keep silent it could destroy the clan but if I speak up what will happen to Ashpaw? In the end there is only one option I must speak with StarClan.
(The lack of punctuation on this page physically pains me.)
Page 57;
Jayfeather arrives at the moonpool where a mysterious cat calls out to him.
Jayfeather - StarClan please have an answer for me...
??? - Jayfeather!
58;
I think the mysterious cat is supposed to be Bluestar, but I'm not sure... Mystery Cat is also wearing a bandanna...
Bluestar - you have come seeking answers, yes?
Jayfeather - please, the future of the clan is at risk
Bluestar - what about Ashpaw?
Jayfeather - do I have a choice?
59;
Bluestar - there is always a chance (do you mean 'choice'?). You of all cats should know that.
Jayfeather - don't remind me
Bluestar - I have to warn you Jayfeather. This is only the start (how about you just answer his questions?)
Page 60;
Bluestar - dark forces are in the rise.
Jayfeather - do you mean the dark forest?
Bluestar - um not quite (???)
Jayfeather - how can I help my clan?
Bluestar - And we believe Ashpaw is the key (um, thanks??)
Page 61;
The sun is rising! It's time for Jayfeather to go.
Bluestar - You must wake now Jayfeather. Your clan mates need you. StarClan will always be with you.
Jayfeather - Sunrise. Time to go.
Page 62;
Jayfeather is either back at the camp, or Lionblaze had suddenly appeared at the moon pool. It's not entirely clear.
Jayfeather - Lionblaze we need to talk
Lionblaze - Now?
Jayfeather - no tomorrow. YES NOW
Page 63;
At the border, Ashpaw picks up a scent. Some cats try to start some trouble.
Ashpaw - hey! I can scent ShadowClan!
Sootfur - it's true!
??? - how embarrassing! A half grown kit scented is before a warrior!
??? - But what else would you expect from a loner?
That is all I ever wrote for this. I can't really remember how to rest of it was supposed to go - something of the lines of the dark forest trying to overthrow the clans by corrupting Shadowclan via Thorntooth (while Blackstar remains oblivious). Ashpaw and co were prophesied to either save or destroy the clans. I'm leaning towards destruction based on how often Ashpaw talks about almost destroying clan life. I do remember that their warrior names were Ashwhisker, Emberheart and Sunnytail. I'm pretty sure Emberheart was supposed to die. Amberpaw becomes Ambersky at some point and I seem to remember him becoming the most talented medicine cat in history. I think Tawneypelt comes to ThunderClan at some point, but eventually returns home to ShadowClan and becomes the leader ( I only know that because I have the allegiances I wrote out)
Well, thats my contribution to this amazing and somewhat hilarious trend that's sweeping the forums right now. I hope you got a good laugh out of this! I'm going to poke around and see if I can dig up any more old stories - I think I know where I would have put them.
