Post by kinkajou on Jun 17, 2017 19:47:46 GMT -5
Behold my years old fanfic. This was far from the first one but still from a while ago. It was about clans of magical cats, and this one group of rogues that absorbed magic to help with their evil deeds...or something
I'm preparing to cringe so hard
I'm preparing to cringe so hard
Allegiances
BlossomClan
Leader: Silverstar-Long-furred silver tabby she-cat
Deputy: Runningflame-Small brown tom
Medicine Cat: Whistlebreeze-Yellow-patched white she-cat (That honestly sounds more like a my little pony name than a warrior cat one)
Warriors:
Brightdawn-Gray she-cat with white splashes
Apprentice: Jaypaw
Spottedbreeze-Ginger and brown patched she-cat
Streamrunner-Dappled silver she-cat
Lightfeather-Pale brown and white she-cat
Shadowfall-Black tom with gray flecks
Firecloud-Dark ginger tom
Flashpelt-White and black tom
Apprentice: Featherpaw
Foxflight-Ginger tom
Apprentice: Leopardpaw
Stormwhisker-Dark gray tom
Cloudleap-Fluffy white she-cat
Ferretcloud-Brown and black she-cat (That name sounds wrong for some reason)
Apprentice: Ripplepaw
Apprentices:
Ripplepaw-Light gray tabby she-cat (For some reason I remembered her being a tom...oh well)
Featherpaw-Pure white she-cat
Jaypaw-Gray tom
Leopardpaw-Spotted golden tom
Queens:
Lilyshine-Pretty tortoiseshell (Kits: Cinderkit-Silver she-kit and Sunkit-Orange she-kit) (Her name and description scream mary sue but I don't think she was planned to have a big part)
Elders:
Vinefall-Dark ginger tabby tom
Glowspots-Black she-cat with white splotches
LightClan
Leader: Amberstar-Golden-brown she-cat with darker ears
Deputy: Rainheart-Blue-gray tom
Medicine Cat: Brightflower-Light tortoiseshell she-cat (I didn't know there was a canon Brightflower yet)
Warriors:
Goldenstream-Light gold she-cat
Blueshine-Bluish she-cat with one white ear (She was copied from someone else's fanfic, but I forget what it was called and who wrote it)
Alderstripe-Light gray-brown tom
Mothfeather-Pale brown she-cat
Brindleberry-Tortoiseshell she-cat
Otterwater-Dark brown tom (That is a bad name)
Kestrelfur-Ginger tom
Pigeoncloud-Gray-white tom
Honeypool-Pale ginger she-cat
Sparrowpetal-Long-furred mottled brown she-cat
Snowwhisper-White she-cat (I've actually used this name in lots of fics, I used to think it was that good : p)
Queens: (In BlossomClan weren't apprentices listed first?)
Dusksky-Dark gray she-cat
Miststep-Pale gray she-cat (Kits: Willowkit-Mottled brown she-kit, Dreamkit-Blue-gray she-kit, and Windkit-Gray tom) (Dreamkit was going to be an important character)
Apprentices:
Waterpaw-Silver and white she-cat
Fennelpaw-Light brown she-cat
Firepaw-Orange tom
Elders:
Whiteflower-White and pale gray she-cat
Hollyberry-Gray tom (Breaking gender stereotypes)
Sandflight-Pale brown tabby she-cat
(There are more clans but I didn't feel like naming them or making cats for them so those two are all that are listed)
Prologue
BlossomClan
Leader: Silverstar-Long-furred silver tabby she-cat
Deputy: Runningflame-Small brown tom
Medicine Cat: Whistlebreeze-Yellow-patched white she-cat (That honestly sounds more like a my little pony name than a warrior cat one)
Warriors:
Brightdawn-Gray she-cat with white splashes
Apprentice: Jaypaw
Spottedbreeze-Ginger and brown patched she-cat
Streamrunner-Dappled silver she-cat
Lightfeather-Pale brown and white she-cat
Shadowfall-Black tom with gray flecks
Firecloud-Dark ginger tom
Flashpelt-White and black tom
Apprentice: Featherpaw
Foxflight-Ginger tom
Apprentice: Leopardpaw
Stormwhisker-Dark gray tom
Cloudleap-Fluffy white she-cat
Ferretcloud-Brown and black she-cat (That name sounds wrong for some reason)
Apprentice: Ripplepaw
Apprentices:
Ripplepaw-Light gray tabby she-cat (For some reason I remembered her being a tom...oh well)
Featherpaw-Pure white she-cat
Jaypaw-Gray tom
Leopardpaw-Spotted golden tom
Queens:
Lilyshine-Pretty tortoiseshell (Kits: Cinderkit-Silver she-kit and Sunkit-Orange she-kit) (Her name and description scream mary sue but I don't think she was planned to have a big part)
Elders:
Vinefall-Dark ginger tabby tom
Glowspots-Black she-cat with white splotches
LightClan
Leader: Amberstar-Golden-brown she-cat with darker ears
Deputy: Rainheart-Blue-gray tom
Medicine Cat: Brightflower-Light tortoiseshell she-cat (I didn't know there was a canon Brightflower yet)
Warriors:
Goldenstream-Light gold she-cat
Blueshine-Bluish she-cat with one white ear (She was copied from someone else's fanfic, but I forget what it was called and who wrote it)
Alderstripe-Light gray-brown tom
Mothfeather-Pale brown she-cat
Brindleberry-Tortoiseshell she-cat
Otterwater-Dark brown tom (That is a bad name)
Kestrelfur-Ginger tom
Pigeoncloud-Gray-white tom
Honeypool-Pale ginger she-cat
Sparrowpetal-Long-furred mottled brown she-cat
Snowwhisper-White she-cat (I've actually used this name in lots of fics, I used to think it was that good : p)
Queens: (In BlossomClan weren't apprentices listed first?)
Dusksky-Dark gray she-cat
Miststep-Pale gray she-cat (Kits: Willowkit-Mottled brown she-kit, Dreamkit-Blue-gray she-kit, and Windkit-Gray tom) (Dreamkit was going to be an important character)
Apprentices:
Waterpaw-Silver and white she-cat
Fennelpaw-Light brown she-cat
Firepaw-Orange tom
Elders:
Whiteflower-White and pale gray she-cat
Hollyberry-Gray tom (Breaking gender stereotypes)
Sandflight-Pale brown tabby she-cat
(There are more clans but I didn't feel like naming them or making cats for them so those two are all that are listed)
Prologue
Everyone knows not to leave the woods. They say that once you get out of the trees, the grass disappears, leaving only hard, hot yellow-brown rock in it's place (How many commas can I stick in one sentence). There are walls and pillars of stone, stretching as high as the forest's trees. If you keep on going, despite the burning in your pads from the scorching rock and from scraping them on sharp pebbles, you'll eventually find a circular dome of the same mineral (Just say rock). There's a small square of stone missing near ground level in one tower on the side of the structure. The shortest one, to be exact. It leads to a tunnel, which opens up again inside the dome.
Never go through that hole.
Why not? Of course, anything inside such a marvel would surely be amazing, with its exterior decorated with tall, graceful pillars and shining boulders that looked like they were polished for hours each day (Stop with the over-dramatic description and super long sentences. You already described this anyway). Wouldn't it make sense for it to be as beautiful inside?
Well, what you might not expect is that living in those walls, are evil cats (This is a bad sentence). They are able to detect the smallest movement and sound. Good luck trying to get away from one of them (...and that one was unnecessary). They have very thick fur, so trying to claw away from one won't help unless you happen to have foot-long claws (Honestly this is just a bad paragraph overall).
They also use magic, like us, except their powers are way different (What this was trying to get at is depending on if your using magic for good or evil it will be different...if that makes sense).
But is that so bad? What's so horrible about them?
Well, these cats also have magic that allows them to steal your's (Cringe. And it just end here...).
(Honestly, the whole prologue is pointless and is nothing but exposition that we could get any other way. And not all at once like that too)
Never go through that hole.
Why not? Of course, anything inside such a marvel would surely be amazing, with its exterior decorated with tall, graceful pillars and shining boulders that looked like they were polished for hours each day (Stop with the over-dramatic description and super long sentences. You already described this anyway). Wouldn't it make sense for it to be as beautiful inside?
Well, what you might not expect is that living in those walls, are evil cats (This is a bad sentence). They are able to detect the smallest movement and sound. Good luck trying to get away from one of them (...and that one was unnecessary). They have very thick fur, so trying to claw away from one won't help unless you happen to have foot-long claws (Honestly this is just a bad paragraph overall).
They also use magic, like us, except their powers are way different (What this was trying to get at is depending on if your using magic for good or evil it will be different...if that makes sense).
But is that so bad? What's so horrible about them?
Well, these cats also have magic that allows them to steal your's (Cringe. And it just end here...).
(Honestly, the whole prologue is pointless and is nothing but exposition that we could get any other way. And not all at once like that too)
Chapter One
Featherpaw clutched the rough bark of the tree with her sharp claws. She didn't want to slip and fall onto the forest ground far below (Who does).
Don't look down, don't look down, she instructed herself. Why am I on a tree anyway? I'm horrible at climbing! She squeezed her eyes shut and gripped the trunk harder. She felt a strong wind, digging into her soft fur and threatening to make her lose her hold and fall on to the hard earth below (I was attempting good description). Featherpaw shivered, from both the cold and fear. Maybe I can get onto a branch? She knew that's what most cats would do. It would also probably be easier to hold on to (She's supposed to be not the smartest cat around ok).
Featherpaw opened her eyes, only half way, and looked up. She could see a branch not too far away. It was only a couple of tail lengths above her. Okay, I can do this.
The white apprentice cautiously lifted one paw, then stretched her forearm a little up the tree, then placed her paw down. (Did I seriously describe a cat moving what even). After a short while of repeating her steps (literally stop @ past me), Featherpaw was on the branch. The big green leaves brushed her pelt as she inched forward. When she got to the middle of the branch, there was a flash of silver and a cat appeared in front of her. Featherpaw squealed in fear and almost fell off her branch, and only saved herself by digging her claws into the bark at the last second. Frost glittered on the wood and leaves that her paws and bushed up fur were touching.
"Ohh, Featherpaw, why are you afraid of me?" She didn't recognize the voice, yet some part of her felt like she knew it. She blinked to clear her eyes, which were blurry with fear. When it came onto focus (*into), she could see another she-cat in front of her.
"Ripplepaw?" Featherpaw whispered. The new cat certainly didn't sound like the other apprentice, but she had the same tabby pelt and dark blue eyes.
"Yep!" "Ripplepaw" crossed her eyes (What am I reading).
"Um," Featherpaw mewed nervously. She took a step back. "What are you doing?" The gray she-cat was continuously looking weirder and weirder, her eyes getting wider, the pupils changing from huge to tiny, some parts of her fur rising like she was angry and the rest staying normal (Nightmare fuel). "Ripplepaw?"
"What?" Now she sounded surprised, but normal. Featherpaw blinked at her. Suddenly, instead of clinging to a rough, hard tree branch, she was lying in a soft nest of long grass and moss, intertwined with purple flowers along with their steps and leaves (It was a dream all along! A pointless one at that. It's never mentioned again).
She blinked a few more times to clear her foggy sight. She saw a silver-gray she-cat in the nest in front of her. The same one from her dream. Ripplepaw's eyes were wide with what looked like a mixture of shock and fear (Why Featherpaw's the one who had the disturbing dream).
"You didn't see that, did you?" she asked, her voice nervous, but with a hint of guilt. Featherpaw shook her head. Ripplepaw sighed with relief. "Oh, good. And by the way," she added, "you used your magic in your sleep. Again."
Featherpaw looked down at her nest. There was powdery snow resting on the bedding closest to her. She was reminded of Ripplepaw jumping out at her in her dream. "Only because you scared me," she murmured, turning her head and lowering her eyes to look at the snow-covered grass (We were already told she looked down. Stop describing how she does every little action)
"Scared you? How?" her denmate asked. "You did see it, didn't you?"
"I didn't see anything," Featherpaw responded. "I was asleep, remember?"
"Then how'd I scare you?" Ripplepaw pressed on.
"It was in my dream. First you appeared out of nowhere, then kept giving me weird, creepy faces..." She shivered at the memory.
"Oh," the gray apprentice meowed. "Well, I totally was not doing that." Featherpaw thought it almost sounded like she was lying, but she wasn't sure (Take a guess). Ripplepaw stood up and shook bits of moss from her pelt. "Well, we're awake, so let's go out. We can get in some extra training this morning."
"What about Jaypaw and Leopardpaw?" Featherpaw sat up and looked across the den, where the other two apprentices were soundly sleeping. Actually, only Leopardpaw was. He was curled in a ball, his back rising and falling gently with each breath. Jaypaw, however, was lying on his side twitching. His paws and tail were constantly flicking at an imaginary enemy or prey. She turned her gaze back to Ripplepaw. "Shouldn't we wake them up?"
Ripplepaw flicked her tail from left to right. "You can if you want to. I think it would be great to have a training session without Jaypaw though." She wrinkled her muzzle. "Though he would be mad if we left him out. Oh well, I'm going to get Ferretcloud. You can bring them if you really want to (You just said that)." She turned and bounded over to the exit of the den, a curtain of long leaves that drooped from the tom of the large bush (But is that detail important). Ripplepaw slipped through them (We know, she just did). The thick covering made her disappear from view, but Featherpaw could still hear her running paws cracking the leaves that cluttered the ground.
Featherpaw looked back at Jaypaw and Leopardpaw, then took a deep breath (It's not that big of a deal). This will be hard. Wake Jaypaw up without causing him to freak out. She slowly stepped over to the two apprentices, taking her time so it would take longer before Jaypaw yelled at her.
When she got to where the two were sleeping, she reached out a paw and softly put it on his back. "Jaypaw..." she whispered. "Wake up..." She shook her paw (She's acting like his mom). The gray apprentice's eyes opened and looked at her. He immediately shook her off and jumped to his feet. Featherpaw took a step back.
"What are you doing?" he hissed at her. "I'm not a kit! I can wake up myself!"
"S-sorry," Featherpaw murmured. "I just-me and Ripplepaw wanted to go to training early and I-" She stared at the ground. "I just thought I'd wake you two up."
"Well you didn't have to!" Jaypaw continued to whine. "I was just about to wake up myself when you came it."
And that's where it ends. Didn't even finish one chapter, thank goodness. And what I did get down was completely pointless (the prologue and the beginning of this chapter).
How much did you cringe cause I was doing it the whole time. That was awful
Don't look down, don't look down, she instructed herself. Why am I on a tree anyway? I'm horrible at climbing! She squeezed her eyes shut and gripped the trunk harder. She felt a strong wind, digging into her soft fur and threatening to make her lose her hold and fall on to the hard earth below (I was attempting good description). Featherpaw shivered, from both the cold and fear. Maybe I can get onto a branch? She knew that's what most cats would do. It would also probably be easier to hold on to (She's supposed to be not the smartest cat around ok).
Featherpaw opened her eyes, only half way, and looked up. She could see a branch not too far away. It was only a couple of tail lengths above her. Okay, I can do this.
The white apprentice cautiously lifted one paw, then stretched her forearm a little up the tree, then placed her paw down. (Did I seriously describe a cat moving what even). After a short while of repeating her steps (literally stop @ past me), Featherpaw was on the branch. The big green leaves brushed her pelt as she inched forward. When she got to the middle of the branch, there was a flash of silver and a cat appeared in front of her. Featherpaw squealed in fear and almost fell off her branch, and only saved herself by digging her claws into the bark at the last second. Frost glittered on the wood and leaves that her paws and bushed up fur were touching.
"Ohh, Featherpaw, why are you afraid of me?" She didn't recognize the voice, yet some part of her felt like she knew it. She blinked to clear her eyes, which were blurry with fear. When it came onto focus (*into), she could see another she-cat in front of her.
"Ripplepaw?" Featherpaw whispered. The new cat certainly didn't sound like the other apprentice, but she had the same tabby pelt and dark blue eyes.
"Yep!" "Ripplepaw" crossed her eyes (What am I reading).
"Um," Featherpaw mewed nervously. She took a step back. "What are you doing?" The gray she-cat was continuously looking weirder and weirder, her eyes getting wider, the pupils changing from huge to tiny, some parts of her fur rising like she was angry and the rest staying normal (Nightmare fuel). "Ripplepaw?"
"What?" Now she sounded surprised, but normal. Featherpaw blinked at her. Suddenly, instead of clinging to a rough, hard tree branch, she was lying in a soft nest of long grass and moss, intertwined with purple flowers along with their steps and leaves (It was a dream all along! A pointless one at that. It's never mentioned again).
She blinked a few more times to clear her foggy sight. She saw a silver-gray she-cat in the nest in front of her. The same one from her dream. Ripplepaw's eyes were wide with what looked like a mixture of shock and fear (Why Featherpaw's the one who had the disturbing dream).
"You didn't see that, did you?" she asked, her voice nervous, but with a hint of guilt. Featherpaw shook her head. Ripplepaw sighed with relief. "Oh, good. And by the way," she added, "you used your magic in your sleep. Again."
Featherpaw looked down at her nest. There was powdery snow resting on the bedding closest to her. She was reminded of Ripplepaw jumping out at her in her dream. "Only because you scared me," she murmured, turning her head and lowering her eyes to look at the snow-covered grass (We were already told she looked down. Stop describing how she does every little action)
"Scared you? How?" her denmate asked. "You did see it, didn't you?"
"I didn't see anything," Featherpaw responded. "I was asleep, remember?"
"Then how'd I scare you?" Ripplepaw pressed on.
"It was in my dream. First you appeared out of nowhere, then kept giving me weird, creepy faces..." She shivered at the memory.
"Oh," the gray apprentice meowed. "Well, I totally was not doing that." Featherpaw thought it almost sounded like she was lying, but she wasn't sure (Take a guess). Ripplepaw stood up and shook bits of moss from her pelt. "Well, we're awake, so let's go out. We can get in some extra training this morning."
"What about Jaypaw and Leopardpaw?" Featherpaw sat up and looked across the den, where the other two apprentices were soundly sleeping. Actually, only Leopardpaw was. He was curled in a ball, his back rising and falling gently with each breath. Jaypaw, however, was lying on his side twitching. His paws and tail were constantly flicking at an imaginary enemy or prey. She turned her gaze back to Ripplepaw. "Shouldn't we wake them up?"
Ripplepaw flicked her tail from left to right. "You can if you want to. I think it would be great to have a training session without Jaypaw though." She wrinkled her muzzle. "Though he would be mad if we left him out. Oh well, I'm going to get Ferretcloud. You can bring them if you really want to (You just said that)." She turned and bounded over to the exit of the den, a curtain of long leaves that drooped from the tom of the large bush (But is that detail important). Ripplepaw slipped through them (We know, she just did). The thick covering made her disappear from view, but Featherpaw could still hear her running paws cracking the leaves that cluttered the ground.
Featherpaw looked back at Jaypaw and Leopardpaw, then took a deep breath (It's not that big of a deal). This will be hard. Wake Jaypaw up without causing him to freak out. She slowly stepped over to the two apprentices, taking her time so it would take longer before Jaypaw yelled at her.
When she got to where the two were sleeping, she reached out a paw and softly put it on his back. "Jaypaw..." she whispered. "Wake up..." She shook her paw (She's acting like his mom). The gray apprentice's eyes opened and looked at her. He immediately shook her off and jumped to his feet. Featherpaw took a step back.
"What are you doing?" he hissed at her. "I'm not a kit! I can wake up myself!"
"S-sorry," Featherpaw murmured. "I just-me and Ripplepaw wanted to go to training early and I-" She stared at the ground. "I just thought I'd wake you two up."
"Well you didn't have to!" Jaypaw continued to whine. "I was just about to wake up myself when you came it."
And that's where it ends. Didn't even finish one chapter, thank goodness. And what I did get down was completely pointless (the prologue and the beginning of this chapter).
How much did you cringe cause I was doing it the whole time. That was awful
