Post by kindredsprites on May 28, 2017 3:23:45 GMT -5
I don’t really see boys as predators seeking out prey like wolves stalking their meals or people hunting game. Boys, or at least the boys that I involve myself with, aren't the pursuing type. They're here for a good time, not a long time. So they don't see a need to chase after you, don't see the thrill in it, in anything except having their way with you. You know you shouldn’t give yourself up so willingly, but you do it anyway because there are things you want from him too.
When he ignores you, you think about the talks you had concerning politics and the audacity of the Trump administration. His passion for climate change outshines the lack of emotional connection he has with you. Clever banter replaces the white noise you get from him the rest of the time. He’s hardly ever around but when you see him in your mind, you only see him with his idiotic grin that makes him so much more attractive than he actually is.
You’re not exactly sure what you want from this boy other than his company, but you are willing to give your all. And it’s just like the last: you’re offering yourself to a boy who takes advantage of your trust and generosity. You’re hoping that something more will become of this, because you like his cleverness and the way his hair feels between your fingers. You exchange intimacy for the illusion that he is yours for a couple of hours, even though during that time he makes it clear that his priority is another girl. The awkwardness sits heavily in the air and the emptiness leaves a ringing in your ears that drowns out the soft music he’s playing. You kiss him on the cheek because that’s the most romantic thing you can think of to do, anything to make this make-believe more believable.
Still, you know you can’t lie to yourself, can’t escape all these feelings you’ve felt. There’s nothing you can do except subtweet about him and wish things were different. You tell yourself that boys only like you because you’re available, but whose fault is that? Is it really the boys preying on you, or are you setting yourself up for consumption?
I wish we still talked about politics.
When he ignores you, you think about the talks you had concerning politics and the audacity of the Trump administration. His passion for climate change outshines the lack of emotional connection he has with you. Clever banter replaces the white noise you get from him the rest of the time. He’s hardly ever around but when you see him in your mind, you only see him with his idiotic grin that makes him so much more attractive than he actually is.
You’re not exactly sure what you want from this boy other than his company, but you are willing to give your all. And it’s just like the last: you’re offering yourself to a boy who takes advantage of your trust and generosity. You’re hoping that something more will become of this, because you like his cleverness and the way his hair feels between your fingers. You exchange intimacy for the illusion that he is yours for a couple of hours, even though during that time he makes it clear that his priority is another girl. The awkwardness sits heavily in the air and the emptiness leaves a ringing in your ears that drowns out the soft music he’s playing. You kiss him on the cheek because that’s the most romantic thing you can think of to do, anything to make this make-believe more believable.
Still, you know you can’t lie to yourself, can’t escape all these feelings you’ve felt. There’s nothing you can do except subtweet about him and wish things were different. You tell yourself that boys only like you because you’re available, but whose fault is that? Is it really the boys preying on you, or are you setting yourself up for consumption?
I wish we still talked about politics.
