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Post by Katanaheart on Nov 13, 2018 18:39:33 GMT -5
How do write battle and action scenes?
Also it’s annoying when you’re trying to get advice to make sure what you’re doing makes sense...
But all a different person wants to talk about is their own work, and various character stuff.
As for equivalent of it time-wise:
I’m looking at maybe fifteen minutes of talk-time, while she gets several hours...
And it’s just: GAAAA!
Help me instead of talking about the same point when we go back to my issues...
Ugh....
Kat needs to finish this episode to start pot-luck, because the episode isn’t going to go away, until I do that...
I’ve also been freaking out about if I’m even writing my characters correctly???
Like, idk???
I’m having issues and need confirmation that I can’t have.
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Post by Katanaheart on Nov 15, 2018 9:36:27 GMT -5
I have like so many polls that I wanna do, but I can only have one.
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Post by Katanaheart on Nov 15, 2018 9:38:37 GMT -5
If this episode keeps taking five million years...
Kat is going to have her fun sooner, rather than later...
Kat’s Idea of fun is way different than your idea of fun...
And it’s very not fun for the characters...
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Nov 16, 2018 14:56:19 GMT -5
Kaaaaaaaaaaaat! O.O Aaaaaaah.
Also, I think your characters are great, so ... there's that.
And if you wanted any help with fight scenes I'm always willing to try and help.
I believe in you! You can do it!
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Post by Katanaheart on Nov 16, 2018 17:20:04 GMT -5
Kaaaaaaaaaaaat! O.O Aaaaaaah. Also, I think your characters are great, so ... there's that. And if you wanted any help with fight scenes I'm always willing to try and help. I believe in you! You can do it! But am I writing my characters correctly? And yes, I will probably need help.  |
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Nov 16, 2018 19:09:49 GMT -5
Yesss. You are. They are wonderful, beautiful characters.
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Nov 17, 2018 17:02:28 GMT -5
NOOOOOOOOOOO. WHY YOU END IT THERE? O.O
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Post by Katanaheart on Nov 17, 2018 17:25:03 GMT -5
NOOOOOOOOOOO. WHY YOU END IT THERE? O.O Because it was a good place to end it! Also, what do you think? |
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Post by phantomstar57 on Nov 17, 2018 18:03:11 GMT -5
I have to catch up here. Later this eve if I get a bit of time!!
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Nov 17, 2018 18:37:55 GMT -5
I thought it was good! It reminds me of cut-scenes in an actual TV show, so that pleased me. As for the content, I greatly love Dustwing, as usual.
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Post by Katanaheart on Nov 17, 2018 20:05:40 GMT -5
I have to catch up here. Later this eve if I get a bit of time!! Okay, Phantom!  Although once you catch up, expect very long wait times. |
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Post by Katanaheart on Nov 17, 2018 20:06:00 GMT -5
I thought it was good! It reminds me of cut-scenes in an actual TV show, so that pleased me. As for the content, I greatly love Dustwing, as usual. Yay! Also you’re not getting the next episode tonight. |
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Post by Katanaheart on Nov 17, 2018 20:32:35 GMT -5
I might just have to have a filler episode...
Because none of you people can get to the point!
*Shakes characters for they control the story half the time.*
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Post by phantomstar57 on Nov 17, 2018 23:08:23 GMT -5
I have to catch up here. Later this eve if I get a bit of time!! Okay, Phantom! Although once you catch up, expect very long wait times. |
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Nov 18, 2018 19:58:07 GMT -5
Poor characters. All their heads are rattled.
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Post by Katanaheart on Dec 13, 2018 20:22:04 GMT -5
Bump
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Post by Katanaheart on Dec 13, 2018 20:43:42 GMT -5
*Probably ruined everything because I can’t write to save my life and this episode is horrible.*
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Dec 14, 2018 4:11:25 GMT -5
*hugs* From what I heard, it sounded fine. But I'll read it tomorrow and confirm it. <3
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Post by Katanaheart on Dec 14, 2018 4:18:46 GMT -5
*hugs* From what I heard, it sounded fine. But I'll read it tomorrow and confirm it. <3 It’s the ending scenes that worry me... |
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Post by Katanaheart on Dec 14, 2018 4:25:36 GMT -5
Apparently the dialogue is stiff, which makes me want to redo it...
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Post by Katanaheart on Dec 14, 2018 13:20:40 GMT -5
Done editing and it’s back up.
It’s probably still awful even with the edits.
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Post by Katanaheart on Dec 15, 2018 18:01:53 GMT -5
Bump
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Post by Katanaheart on Dec 16, 2018 18:51:04 GMT -5
Theoretically, we could get the filler episode done before the end of the year...
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Post by phantomstar57 on Dec 16, 2018 22:07:03 GMT -5
I need to catch up-one of these evenings. . . .
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Post by phantomstar57 on Dec 23, 2018 23:43:05 GMT -5
Well I'm getting there! LOl Just finished episode 9. Just a small nitpick with a paragraph that stuck out at me My old pet peeve with redundancy rears its ugly head! I highlighted the overuse of "appears to" or "seems to" and one area with some sentences that did not read right.
This one.
*The second the venomous words fly out of the tom’s mouth, his form shifts, sores seem to grow all over his now, “normal,” looking body… His eyes appear to be swollen and it’s as if his flesh is rotting. The fur falls off revealing dark, raw, and blotchy flesh as if the sores had grown worse there. To make matters worse, said flesh appears to be falling off in some places, with the skin near his mouth, barely hanging on by strings of skin. The smell of decay seems to join the salt-water and unknown herb as the tom opens his mouth to bare his fangs. Fangs that appear to be black and rotted, the dark substance sloshes from his mouth and onto the floor below. Amberfluff and Ashfur III take a few steps back, appalled by this creature’s appearance, both feeling that it would be better to not fight it. Neither say anything, fears keep their mouths shut as this diseased creature moves towards them, anger flaring in his light brown eyes, he seems to have some sort of vendetta…*
Just a simple rework to get rid of the "seems to"" and appears to" bonanza :-) It's not a perfect rewrk but it gives you the idea. Now back to reading.
*The second the venomous words fly out of the tom’s mouth, his form shifts, and sores grow all over his now “normal” looking body. His eyes are swollen and his flesh rots, as the fur falls off revealing dark, raw, and blotchy flesh where the sores fester there. To make matters worse, said flesh falls off in some places, with the skin near his mouth barely hanging on by strings of skin. The smell of decay joins the salt-water and unknown herb as the tom opens his mouth to bare his fangs that are black and rotted, The the dark substance sloshes from his mouth and onto the floor below. Amberfluff and Ashfur III take a few steps back, appalled by this creature’s appearance, both feeling that it would be better to not fight it. Neither say anything, fears keep their mouths shut as this diseased creature moves towards them, anger flaring in his light brown eyes. The beast has some sort of vendetta…*
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Post by Katanaheart on Dec 26, 2018 16:20:54 GMT -5
Ah, thank you Phantom! I try and avoid large descriptions like this most of the time, so the writing is bound to be clunky and a bit repetitive. |
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Post by phantomstar57 on Dec 26, 2018 20:43:45 GMT -5
Ah, thank you Phantom! I try and avoid large descriptions like this most of the time, so the writing is bound to be clunky and a bit repetitive. |
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Dec 30, 2018 17:01:10 GMT -5
Voted. o3o
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Post by Katanaheart on Dec 31, 2018 23:10:16 GMT -5
I’m surprised you picked Amberfluff.
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Post by Katanaheart on Dec 31, 2018 23:10:55 GMT -5
“Must I admit to your faults, alongside my own?”
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