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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 9:13:48 GMT -5
[ note ; i would prefer a long-term partner who's willing to write fairly lengthy replies for this ;v; ]
set in a victorian-esque era fantasy world; -- in which muse a is a nimble-fingered thief, clever and full of themselves, aware of their skills and the leader of their little group. they're intelligent, they've never been caught, they've made a name for themselves as the thorn of the city. all in all, muse a is a genius thief. they're like robin hood, except instead of stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, they just steal from the rich and...eh, they ignore the poor unless they're bothered by them. their life is ideal for their personality, they enjoy it and it's something they would never give up. they have fun doing what they do. muse b, on the other hand, is someone who's pampered and considered royalty. they will be able to lead the country one day, they're groomed to be elegant, booksmart but unable to navigate streets. people love them for they are a kind person, and they are considered generous; the ideal leader, in the city's eyes. of course, there are people out to get them for they are royalty, but that's just how it goes. muse b is a wonderful leader.
it all goes downhill when the revolution happens. a small group cause the country to revolt against the current leader, throwing him down and making muse b homeless due to their large mansion being taken over by the group. the revolution causes the country to go into chaos; a new leader/king sits atop everything, and the poor get poorer and the rich get richer. the system falls into chaos and starvation becomes a lingering threat - this is not how muse b wishes their country to be, but they're homeless and have no idea what to do. of course, this just gives muse a more opportunities to steal and use their nimble fingers, and they could not care less. the country may have fallen into chaos, but they really don't mind. the more chaos, the less attention paid to them.
now, muse b has this idea. to gather a group of elite strategists and warriors and soldiers and the like to be able to fight the new 'king', to gain their country back and make things as fair as they can. the rich will not help them, laughing down their help with fear of angering their new leader and losing all of their richness. muse b is entirely alone, and so they have one choice: to look to the poor for help. it is at this point that they stumble across muse a's little group, the elite thieves that steal from the rich and ignore the poor. it's like a small lightbulb flickers in their mind; muse b decides to ask muse a for help, with an offer they can't refuse - free reign of the country with no punishment on the condition they only steal a certain amount from the rich. it's a tempting offer.
;; muse a - the thief kristoff "kit" toma / 24 years old a genius he is, but fairly average in looks. kit has medium-brown skin with faint freckles over a small nose, and dark brown eyes. a small dash of blue cuts through the lower left of his right eye, but it takes an observant person to notice. he has black hair that's tousled and thick, cut slightly shorter at the back and often falling over his right eye due to the cut of his bangs. when he's busy, he'll often push it back with a hairband of some sort. his casual attire consists of a loose beige button-up and black trousers, and he'll go barefoot. his left ear has multiple silver piercings; two lobe studs, and small hoops lining the shell of his ear. under his right eye is a black tattoo, looking like the markings of the eye of horus. he has an accent that cannot be quite picked up, but he is certainly originally from another country. he stands at 5'5'', and so is of a shorter height - not that it bothers him. it helps him get overlooked, really.
;; muse b - the royal Amelia 'Mia' Leolan / 22 years old At 5'6", Amelia is of average height and even without the expensive clothes she once wore, she looks like royalty. Her posture is perfect and she's undeniably elegant, having spent much of her life learning how to hold herself and how to move. Her limbs are pretty long for someone of her height, but not so much that it's noticed by anyone who didn't witness her growth spurt. Her clumsiness as a child has resulted in her gestures being slow and calculated to compensate, though she never did manage to get rid of her tendency to make them broad. Her hair is dark and fairly long, but she wears it up almost always as she doesn't like the possibility of it getting in her green eyes. Her ears are pierced but she no longer wears jewellery, earrings included. She's always tended towards comfortable wear, now more than ever. Most often this means loose skirts and light fabrics, but she's clearly comfortable with most things you put her in. Her expression is generally neutral and is only really softened by the almost childish roundness of her features.
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 9:20:17 GMT -5
oh my god I love this so much <3 when you say longer posts, what do you mean? my comfort zone is usually around 3-4 paragraphs, but if you want more than that I can usually manage up to 6, maybe 7 without burning myself out right away. that being said I'll need to take a good look to see if I think I'll manage that much consistently with the schedule I'm keeping at the moment - hence the need for clarification.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 9:21:52 GMT -5
usually i match replies, so i was leaving that up to my partner omg usually i can write a good 3-4 paragraphs in a decent time period, and i can go up to 7 or so if given the material !! your comfort zone is completely fine, as long as i can respond without too much trouble <: 3-4 paragraphs is definitely good for me tbh, since i'm super out of practice with roleplaying
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 9:28:02 GMT -5
ahhh, wonderful, thank you ^^ in that case I'd love to claim this if that's okay with you! I think I've fallen a bit in love with it.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 9:28:32 GMT -5
of course !! that makes me super happy ;v;
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 9:38:21 GMT -5
great, thank you so much c: I'll get a character to you as soon as I can, though I warn you it may be a while. I'm just heading off to cook myself some dinner so I won't be able to get to it right away.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 9:39:39 GMT -5
that's absolutely fine !! i might start brainstorming a starter so that i can give you something decent haha ^^
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 12:14:46 GMT -5
Amelia 'Mia' Leolan / 22 At 5'6", Amelia is of average height and even without the expensive clothes she once wore, she looks like royalty. Her posture is perfect and she's undeniably elegant, having spent much of her life learning how to hold herself and how to move. Her limbs are pretty long for someone of her height, but not so much that it's noticed by anyone who didn't witness her growth spurt. Her clumsiness as a child has resulted in her gestures being slow and calculated to compensate, though she never did manage to get rid of her tendency to make them broad. Her hair is dark and fairly long, but she wears it up almost always as she doesn't like the possibility of it getting in her green eyes. Her ears are pierced but she no longer wears jewellery, earrings included. She's always tended towards comfortable wear, now more than ever. Most often this means loose skirts and light fabrics, but she's clearly comfortable with most things you put her in. Her expression is generally neutral and is only really softened by the almost childish roundness of her features.
so sorry, this took an age. much longer than it should have, really.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 12:38:56 GMT -5
it's fine !! she seems cool. i should have a starter soon-ish 0:
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 12:41:36 GMT -5
thanks, I sure hope so. she's brand new, so there's no knowing just how I'll do with her just yet ^^"
and take the time you need! there's no rush!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 12:43:16 GMT -5
kit is a remodel of an older oc i have ^^ i adjust my ocs constantly and he's the most recent refined version, so i haven't actually used him properly
thank you ! i am the ultimate multitasker honestly
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 12:47:00 GMT -5
I do that a lot too. it's a lot of fun to look back and see how different they all were not too long ago. it gets difficult when you're not sure which version you're using in a specific situation though, haha.
same. I get kinda stressed if I don't multitask tbh. not sure why that is but here we are.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 12:59:53 GMT -5
yeah !! kit is uhh? i think he was originally a tmi/tdi character but i removed him from that verse entirely and instead used him as an original fae, and then i removed the fae part and yada yada, so on. now hes just who he is now.
omg i dont mind if im just doing one thing, but i prefer doing more things u know?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 13:09:42 GMT -5
Kaires City Newspaper (2 bronze pieces) 29th July - 1871 The Revolution: What it means for you!
"You want to buy this?" asked the newsboy, eyes wide and innocent. He was grubby, as most children in the slums were, and it was quite obvious as to why he was doing this. "'s interesting."
"You don't know how to read," the young man replied with a calm tone, bare toes curling against the warm cobblestone.
It was quite a sunny day, which made the slums stink even more - but that was just how it went. It meant that the stones on the floor would be warm, that mud would be dry and easier to walk along, and that the stench of sweat would be even more prominent. Kit's eyes narrowed down at the newsboy in front of him, who smiled with a gap-filled brown smile. He smiled back with a whiter smile and a raised eyebrow, before giving the boy two bronze pieces and taking the newspaper, sticking his tongue out as he did so.
"You wanna know what's goin' on, kiddo?" he asked the boy, who nodded eagerly. "Here's how it goes," nimble fingers flicked through the newspaper lightly and he flicked his gaze quickly over the writing, "no more King, no more Queen. They's gone. Nobles are brown-nosing the new leader, who is a complete dictator and no-one actually knows his name. Not quite sure what's happenin' otherwise. Rich people are richer, poor people are poorer, and you should get your fingers outta my pocket before I cut 'em off."
A quiet squeak emerged the newsboy as Kit reached over to flick his ear. For a moment, the two simply stared at each-other, before the older man gave a two-fingered salute and sauntered off lightly, vanishing into the crowd. The only detail that would truly imprint on the young boy's mind would be the tattoo - everything else would vanish, with time, because there was nothing impressive nor memorable about Kit. He was a quiet shadow, something quiet and nimble, even when he wasn't trying.
It took him about ten minutes to reach the bar, which was quiet due to the time of the day. Evening meant that most men were still working in the mines or at the outskirts of Kaires, or maybe they were just at home with their wives or husbands or whatever. Kit did not care, because he had his little group to worry about.
"Evenin' Morrigan," he smiled at the bartender, who flicked her green gaze to him and squinted firmly, "how's the boys?"
"Hungry, 'cuz their daddy ain't here to feed 'em, 'cuz he was jus' slackin' off outside," she replied lazily, pouring out some ale into a wooden cup and pushing it over to him. Kit raised both eyebrows and took it. "They can't effin' survive without ya, Kitty cat. Stop leavin' me with 'em."
Kit made a vague gesture and moved to one of the tables, sitting down and exhaling softly. He adjusted the collar of his shirt and listened as Morrigan cleaned, and smiled vaguely when he heard his boys coming back upstairs. The four of them chattered even as they approached the table that Kit sat at, and continued as they waited for him to drink.
"So!" he chirped after he was done being quiet. Truth be told, it was immediately obvious that he was the leader; the men around him instantly became quiet and focused their gazes on him; two of them were in their early thirties, twins who had been around Kit for as long as he could remember. Ty and Myle were their names. The other two were younger, one a mere twelve years old (nicknamed Puppy), and the other had to be twenty by now - that was Xue. The four of them, plus Kit, made up somewhat of an elite criminal group, in a way. Kit knew he was clever and that he was nimble, and found it ideal to have backups in case he messed up - though he highly doubted that would ever be the case. "I'm home."
A soft chorus of 'welcome home' bounced around the table. Kit swore that one of them had called him dad (he was quite sure it was Ty). He rolled his eyes upwards, and leaned his elbows on the table as he quietly told them what had happened.
The bar remained a quiet murmur of voices from the boys alone. It was, if anything, one of the quieter places; discreet, known even to the rich for being the number one place to hire mercenaries or something similar. It remained alive because soldiers were too scared to enter. Morrigan made her success because of it. She loved it, and kept a home for Kit's group on the condition that he took down anyone daring to harm her bar. It was a win-win situation.
[ i hope this is okay ;; i wanted to set it up so that kit was accessible and stuff from the get-go ]
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 13:10:21 GMT -5
some of my oldest characters are from the tmi verse as well! I'm removed from the series now, so none of them are still there, but still!
yeah, I get that. it's nice to do more than one thing. I just get really anxious if I haven't got at least two things going at once. you'd think it'd be the other way around but I guess not.
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 13:16:22 GMT -5
oh no, it looks great! I'll get to work on something right away c:
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 13:19:52 GMT -5
ngl, im still kinda into tmi - tho only the books. i didnt mind the netflix series, but im not too fond of it? haha oops
ooh i get that. i try to do multiple things bc i have add so my attention messes around
okay <: take your time
also !! if i ever vanish without warning its highly likely im playing overwatch ;v;
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 13:39:59 GMT -5
I only have a nostalgic attatchment to them now. I loved them a few years ago and they'll always have a spot on my shelf but I just never think about them anymore I guess. and yeah, the Netflix series wasn't great. it wasn't bad either, and I'll watch it if I have time left over in the week, but that's about it.
ahhh, yeah, that makes sense. I don't have add myself but every single male relative on my dad's side does so I can definitely recognise how that might be a thing that happens
ooo, fun! I vanish without warning pretty regularly I'm afraid, I'm not great at realising that I'm drawn to something else until I'm gone haha oops?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 13:46:24 GMT -5
yeaaa i have lady midnight beside me (i bought it for my birthday haha) and then city of heavenly fire on my shelf, and i have the books here and there everywhere and i do love the concept and stuff and i actually love the characters ?? i love the series but i guess its in a quieter way !! have u ever read skulduggery pleasant ?
omg yeah add is the bane of my life among other things tbh
omg i do the same tbh ?
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 14:06:48 GMT -5
have you read it? is it any good? I haven't read it yet, but since lord of shadows is coming out pretty soon I'm considering getting it. I just have to know if getting invested again is worth it lol omg I could rave about skulduggery pleasant for days tbh. I loved them so much when I was just getting into reading in English and still to this day they're the love of my life. I'm rereading them at the moment, actually. I'm currently on book 3 (??) think.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 14:11:00 GMT -5
it actually is super good ! personally, i feel its an improvement on the originally tmi - though not as good as tdi, if that makes sense. its definitely worth getting into, though i have read it <: im re-reading now. i prefer the characters, and there's more lgbt content which is always nice tbh AAAAH i love them so much, its my fav series. ive read all 9 multiple times and im super excited for the new one that's gonna come out soon ;v; i follow derek landy's twitter and he talks a lot about the new things AHA
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 14:25:57 GMT -5
The sun beat down on Amelia's covered back as she wove her way through the crowds. She despised the heat, despised the stench it brought and more than anything, she hated that she could not escape it. Her home had been expertly designed to keep the heat out, thick stone walls protecting its inhabitants from the sun's vicious rays. Never before had she had to endure this, and unlike the enemies who'd dethroned her father and thrown her country into chaos, she couldn't simply run to avoid it. That would only make it worse.
She told herself that at least she wasn't being hunted. She was free to roam the city and beyond it if she so wished. But she could never rule. It stung, seeing the state of her country and its people and knowing that she could never do anything about it now. Every newspaper she passed mocked her, every crier was a reminder of everything that had gone wrong. She wasn't hunted, no, but this was almost worse.
The worst part was that even her fight was futile. Every noble she'd asked for help had turned her down. "Sorry, Princess," they said. "There's nothing I can do." They used the title she'd been stripped of, perhaps to soften the blow. It did not. She didn't care for it, nor any other title they could have given her. She wasn't fighting for herself, as much as she wished she could say that was all of it. If it was, rejection wouldn't have been such a bitter taste in her mouth.
Eventually, Amelia had stopped trying with the nobles. The men and women who were supposed to be loyal to her father, to her, had abandoned her. It was clear that they were loyal to power, not people. Generations had passed since her family selected others to support them. It wasn't strange to think that loyalties shifted over so many years. Still, it was yet another thing she had to waste her grief on. The loss of old family friends would never hurt as badly as the loss of a mother or father, but it came close. It hurt enough for her to give up.
Giving up was natural. She told herself this so often it echoed in her mind even when she wasn't placing the thought there. That was how she wanted it to be. One person could only carry so much grief and determination before they decided to leave the latter behind. Both weighed too much to take alone, but humanity clung to one over the other. The wrong one, Amelia often thought. But the shame could not be erased with knowledge or a mantra. Giving up may be natural, but nobody liked doing it. Amelia was no exception.
But she was done grieving now. Finally to her, too soon to the few people she could still consider friends. Their words of warning did not matter. She knew the day she woke up wanting to fix everything that there was nothing else she could do but find people to fight with her. If the rich would not join her then she would turn to the people with far less to lose.
That was how she found herself out in the sun, surrounded by sweaty bodies and the sound of the overcrowded as they struggled for space to move. She paid them no mind. She was not here for them. Not today. She'd only needed to ask around for a few minutes before she figured out where she was going. It didn't matter who she asked, they all gave the same answer. A few questions later and she knew just where to go.
She pushed to door to the bar open with one hand, stepping inside and letting it fall closed behind her as she did. It didn't take her long to realise that this place was quiet for a bar. Even someone with as little experience with them as her could see that. Ignoring the sense that she did not belong here, she pushed forward, only stopping once she'd reached the counter.
She glanced both ways, as if that would somehow aid her in being discreet, then turned back to the bartender. "I've been told this is the place to go if I need help of the illegal kind," she said, realising as she did that this was not the way she should be phrasing it. Too late now. "You wouldn't happen to know the right direction?"
( I'm so far from happy with this ngl but whatever. I'm not sure how much better I could make it tbh )
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 14:31:32 GMT -5
I might give it a go then. I think my local library has it so I won't even have to buy it - always a plus
omg yeah they're so good!! the 10th book comes out early June, I think, so I'm hoping to get through all nine before then. I probably won't manage, who am I kidding, but it's worth a shot anyway. I need to at least try, and it's not like it's wasted time. I love every minute I spend rereading these books.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 14:35:45 GMT -5
omg that def is a bonus
im super excited for it, i just need to find the money
also that post is great!!
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 14:46:06 GMT -5
definitely. I'm broke already lol I can't go spending money on more books than I already do.
same. I've no idea where I'll get it from but I will. my birthday's in June so I could just ask for it and hope I get it, and if not spend some birthday money. that's the plan right now, anyway
and thank you ^^ it'll have to be.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 14:50:02 GMT -5
Something like curiosity flicked over Morrigan's gaze as she studied the other woman, eyes narrowing briefly. Illegal was not a term that most poor people would use. Not right or weird would be more common, but she had to admit, illegal was certainly the thing she was known for. Well. Her patrons, obviously. It took her a few moments, however, to process the question.
"Mmmm," she hummed, as a sly grin spread over her face, "a direction that is right. The right direction. Now that, dear, is a question in itself! Naturally, ye wanna talk to a sweet-talkin' foreign man, the sort who blends in," her fingers wiggled slightly before she gestured to where Kit sat, though it was almost a dismissive gesture. "Talk to 'im. If you're an officer about to arrest then g'luck on that, no evidence here. If you're a genuine customer then g'luck on that, 'cuz he ain't got low prices."
Just like that, the redhead's gaze flicked back down to the cups she was vaguely cleaning, but her ears were wide open. She knew when to keep check on someone, and she did not like the looks nor sounds of this woman. She seemed familiar, possible noble - though Morrigan was the sort of person who didn't pay much attention to the higher ups. Kit would probably know who it was, if it was someone truly important. Kit had probably stolen from her before. Maybe it was a noble lady looking for her jewels, which no doubt were in Kit's sock drawer (or across the ocean).
Of course, it was not a surprise that Kit's sharp senses had picked up on the newcomer. His eyes were half-lidded, his movements lazy as a cat's, and he shifted slightly so that he could watch from the corner of his eye without being too obvious. Familiar, his mind told him softly, flicking through pictures of various nobles. No, she wasn't a daughter of anyone he'd stolen from - possibly lower? No. Something told him that she was higher up. He inhaled and glanced to Puppy as the boy tried to drink some ale (and chuckled low in his throat as he looked disgusted), before returning his focus to the newcomer. He saw Morrigan's gaze flick to him, knew that he'd be talking to the woman soon. Good, he thought lightly, I might be able to pick up who it is.
There was definitely the air of a noble to the lady, though it felt like something more. It couldn't be the dethroned Queen; she was too young and too...alive? Not banished? Whatever, he didn't know what had happened to the royals. They had just sort of vanished, and that was not something he cared about. He'd stolen from the previous King once, and it had not been a fun experience. He still had the nasty scars from it, looping over the back of his neck and towards the small of his back. Castle guards, he had learned, were quite violent when they caught a thief. They were easy enough to get away from, at least.
In an absent motion, his fingers curled tightly towards the palm of his hand, and Kit finally sat up straight and opened his eyes, exchanging a glance with the twins and raising a single eyebrow. Go away, said his glance. The twins nodded quietly and gestured the two younger members away, leaving Kit alone on his table so that he could talk to the newcomer - if she actually came towards him. Maybe Morrigan had sent her to another bar, but he highly doubted it. If this was trouble, then he had to deal with it.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 14:51:36 GMT -5
IM BROKE TOO gotta love adulthood
hopefully we can both get it!! im so excited for it omg
i like your writing style
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 15:33:54 GMT -5
It took Amelia a few moments to figure out what the other woman was saying. She was not yet accustomed to the way the poor spoke, the words cut short and contracted in a way that confused her still. It was yet another thing that separated her from them, one more thing that marked her as other. In the beginning, that had resulted in her silence. She'd been terrified of someone realising who she was. She'd since realised that no-one was coming for her. There was no reason to fear her own voice.
She watched the other woman through narrowed eyes for another second or two, then nodded. "Thank you," she said, "I'll take all the good luck I can take." She'd need it, were she to succeed in what she was trying to do. She remained where she was for a beat, trying to figure out the woman before her but coming up with nothing, then turned on her heel and left her behind.
Amelia watched the man as she approached him. Dark and small, he was the kind of person her gaze would have slipped right over in any other situation. She would never have noticed him if he hadn't been pointed out to her. He was forgettable. Upon further examination, even she could tell that he was the leader in here. He moved lazily and deliberately, and she saw the same respect in the men leaving him as she'd seen in men leaving her father. She didn't know much about how these people interacted with each other, but she knew a hierarchy when she saw one. Good. The woman had not lied to her.
She reached the table, paused, and glanced at a seat. Was she expected to wait for him to offer her one? Claim some kind of status by taking one for herself? The rules she'd been taught didn't apply in here and she knew it but every bone in her body told her to wait for his say-so. She was no Princess, not anymore, but in here he was King.
Her internal struggle ended with a frustrated sigh and her taking a seat after all, folding her hands neatly in her lap as she settled in. Up close, the tattoo on his face was unmissable. She stared at it for a minute, squinting to better make out the markings. She didn't know them but she wished she did, if only to understand what it meant. For the first time in her life, asking was out of the questions so she took to turning all of her focus towards it. It was better, but only marginally.
Amelia didn't speak; partially because her focus was elsewhere and partially because she did not wish to impose on his right to lead the conversation. She'd already done one thing she should have waited to do. If she hadn't crossed a line already surely speaking out of turn would carry her far beyond it. So she was silent, her focus gradually drifting from the man's tattoo to his face as a whole. She didn't move, every part of her still and composed. She simply waited for a word or sign, anything.
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Apr 17, 2017 15:36:37 GMT -5
eyyyy gotta love having no money amirite
ahhhh thank you <3 my favourite compliment to receive. I love yours, too, it's so fluid and lovely.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2017 15:42:25 GMT -5
oops no coding for casual talk bc im a lazy man
eyyy no money life gotta love it. adulting is HARD
<; thank you so much !! im super rusty oml so that means a lot to me
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