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Post by Downloadz on Jul 29, 2016 10:42:58 GMT -5
If I have any worth saving...
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Post by Downloadz on Jul 29, 2016 11:17:38 GMT -5
Entitled: A Letter to My Dearest Friend. Posted on: 4/7/16 @ 5:25 PM
This is based off something that happened around four years back. I wonder who knows what this is about...
___________
To my dear friend Alice,
Why must we stand at opposite ends now? You have found a better place - a place filled with the light of the sun, the shining gems and crystal trees. Songs of happiness ring and echo throughout the meadows that you run across. The wind allows you to fly across as if you were a maple leaf being cradled and carried on. You don't get hurt, you don't get scared. You will not cry and you are strong.
Dear Alice, why did you pay a price so high to get there?
I am left in the dark. The shadows eat me everyday. Panic stares at me from every corner of the rooms I sit in. I'm afraid of the most simple of things. I fear the dark, I fear blood, I fear someone staring at me.
You were like a sister to me, Alice. You still are.
If only you knew what I suffered after what you did. To see death staring at me from your own two eyes, to see the crimson trickle down from where you lay - to see only despair and hopelessness loom in the room. No matter how much light shown in the room, it could not change what scar you left in my mind.
Alice, you were just like I. We may not have been in musical classes, we may not have had the same interests, but what we have suffered was almost the same.
We protected each other.
Now, I can no longer protect you. And I cannot be protected by you anymore.
I may laugh, I may smile, but it is all for show. I still suffer from the clutches of depression and my developed PTSD from seeing you in such a way. It was as if I fell down a rabbit hole, only this time I had no chance of escaping.
Society is cruel. They only care when it is too late. They mock and judge both of us based on, well, everything. Once they realize that they cannot apologize, once they realize what they have done, they become hypocrites. "Oh, she was such a beautiful person and great just the way she was. People are cruel."
Yet, not even a minute ago were they saying...
"Do you have a nice body?" "Are you smart?" "Are you in advanced classes?" "Do you like this popular trend?" "Do you realize what you are? Do you realize how ugly you are, how disgraceful you must be to your parents? Do you realize that you will never fit in? Is THAT why you have no friends?"
Alice, you still had me. We were all each other had for the longest time. I have found a new family within the school, but every time I smile or see someone else smile, I cannot help but think of you. I envision you dancing alongside me as rose petals fell from the trees, as cheers surrounded us.
But, you have let go of my hand. So suddenly you did, too.
What replaced my vision of peace was instead filled with rose petals falling from your neck, a cold, stiff hand in mine, and a shrilling cry from me.
The first three years, I was emotionless. I wouldn't utter a word. I could not. It wasn't until the light of highschool music shed upon me, and at first, I hated it.
Soon, I forgave myself. I forgave what you did, what pain you have caused me.
Alice, I miss you. I hope you miss me. You were a dearest friend who I can never let go from my mind. Rather than mostly thinking back to the last time I saw you...
I think of us dancing.
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