Post by Dragostea on Apr 4, 2017 20:22:58 GMT -5
I overslept the apocalypse.
Okay. Stop. Breathe.
Sorry. Trying to stay calm isn't working so far.
Let me start over.
I have been sick with the bird flu for the past three weeks. It's just been me and my puffles for a while. I told my buddies to stay away so they wouldn't catch ill. They willingly obliged. Of course none of them seemed to notice my absence. Not a single post card from them. No “Get well soon, MacDiver!” or “Hope you're doing alright, Mac!” or “Hey! Are you dead?” Radio silence.
Now I'm finally able to stand upright without passing out. I check the date. It's April 4th, so we should be right in the middle of the April Fool's party. Great. I have no idea what's in store for this year, but I'm sure it's going to be juuuust spiffy.
I step outside my igloo to get the paper. Well, the papers. I've been sick for three weeks, after all.
Except... there's only two. There should be one for every Tuesday that I've been out. I check the dates on the two that are there. The one that's missing is today's. Weird. It's nine fifteen. It should be there.
Maybe it's late? No, it's never late. It's like they're machine delivered, that's how punctual the delivery is.
Okay. So there's no paper. No big deal. I have more important things to worry about anyway, like walking my stir-crazy puffles.
I head back inside and grab a leash. I'm trying to decide who I should walk first. Why not all three, you ask? Local laws dictate that you're only allowed to walk one at at time. Personally, I find that ridiculous. What if you're a single penguin looking after fifteen puffles? It's discrimination towards multiple-puffle households, plain and simple.
Back on track. So, I try to decide which one to walk first. First, there's Richard, a mellow blue puffle, taking a nap in his bed. Then there's Dean, a white puffle who amuses himself by freezing the fish tank. Poor fish. I don't even know why I still have that thing, or even how it's survived so long. Finally, there's Anderson. A yellow puffle. A very, very messy yellow puffle. He likes to cover every surface he can reach with paint. And he doesn't coordinate his colors. I've finally had to take away the orange and green paint. He pouts if I cut him off completely from his artistic outlet. Right now he's taking it upon himself to repaint the coffee table a loud shade of violet that completely clashes with my green sofa.
Which one should I walk?
-Walk Richard
-Walk Dean
-Walk Anderson
Okay. Stop. Breathe.
Sorry. Trying to stay calm isn't working so far.
Let me start over.
I have been sick with the bird flu for the past three weeks. It's just been me and my puffles for a while. I told my buddies to stay away so they wouldn't catch ill. They willingly obliged. Of course none of them seemed to notice my absence. Not a single post card from them. No “Get well soon, MacDiver!” or “Hope you're doing alright, Mac!” or “Hey! Are you dead?” Radio silence.
Now I'm finally able to stand upright without passing out. I check the date. It's April 4th, so we should be right in the middle of the April Fool's party. Great. I have no idea what's in store for this year, but I'm sure it's going to be juuuust spiffy.
I step outside my igloo to get the paper. Well, the papers. I've been sick for three weeks, after all.
Except... there's only two. There should be one for every Tuesday that I've been out. I check the dates on the two that are there. The one that's missing is today's. Weird. It's nine fifteen. It should be there.
Maybe it's late? No, it's never late. It's like they're machine delivered, that's how punctual the delivery is.
Okay. So there's no paper. No big deal. I have more important things to worry about anyway, like walking my stir-crazy puffles.
I head back inside and grab a leash. I'm trying to decide who I should walk first. Why not all three, you ask? Local laws dictate that you're only allowed to walk one at at time. Personally, I find that ridiculous. What if you're a single penguin looking after fifteen puffles? It's discrimination towards multiple-puffle households, plain and simple.
Back on track. So, I try to decide which one to walk first. First, there's Richard, a mellow blue puffle, taking a nap in his bed. Then there's Dean, a white puffle who amuses himself by freezing the fish tank. Poor fish. I don't even know why I still have that thing, or even how it's survived so long. Finally, there's Anderson. A yellow puffle. A very, very messy yellow puffle. He likes to cover every surface he can reach with paint. And he doesn't coordinate his colors. I've finally had to take away the orange and green paint. He pouts if I cut him off completely from his artistic outlet. Right now he's taking it upon himself to repaint the coffee table a loud shade of violet that completely clashes with my green sofa.
Which one should I walk?
-Walk Richard
-Walk Dean
-Walk Anderson
