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Post by Owlmoon on Feb 27, 2017 9:59:12 GMT -5
2/27/2017
Post an excerpt of any story you wish.
Try your best writing.
This is for feedback on your writing only. (Well, and the prize I guess.)
I will be criticizing your work, and the winner will be posted on here in 2 weeks.
The prize will be me doodling your name in bubble letters in a color of your choice.
The first five people who post saying that they want the spot are entered.
Let the competition begin!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2017 18:53:45 GMT -5
Sure I'll join. This is for warriors fanfiction? If so, I'm about to start writing my warriors fic now. How long would you prefer the excerpts to be?
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Post by [~Ghost Writer~] on Feb 28, 2017 1:47:46 GMT -5
I'll do it :3
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Post by [~Ghost Writer~] on Feb 28, 2017 1:48:40 GMT -5
What exactly are the rules?
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Post by Owlmoon on Feb 28, 2017 7:39:02 GMT -5
The excerpts should be a page (more or less) of writing in calibri font 14.
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Post by [~Ghost Writer~] on Feb 28, 2017 18:49:08 GMT -5
The excerpts should be a page (more or less) of writing in calibri font 14. A page? |
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Post by Owlmoon on Mar 1, 2017 9:25:26 GMT -5
Basically. Unless the story has a good ending just a bit before, or needs to go on just a bit more then a page to get it right.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2017 10:02:54 GMT -5
Can it be a one-shot? I was going to post the prologue of my warriors fic but it sounds like you might want something a bit more...conclusive? Sorry for being so needy, this should be the last question! XD
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Post by Owlmoon on Mar 1, 2017 10:05:36 GMT -5
No it's fine! Yes it can be a one-shot as long as it meets the requirements. Ask as many questions as you'd like.
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Post by Newt on Mar 3, 2017 15:59:13 GMT -5
I'd be interested in entering this, assuming that it's still open!
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Post by Owlmoon on Mar 4, 2017 22:39:03 GMT -5
It is. You can enter
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Post by Owlmoon on Mar 16, 2017 13:57:15 GMT -5
Alright! Everybody who has entered, please turn those in. It has been more than two weeks.
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Post by ❴ ғα∂ιηg ✦ яεαℓιтү ❵ on Mar 16, 2017 13:58:34 GMT -5
You only have three people, care if I enter as well?
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Post by Owlmoon on Mar 16, 2017 13:59:13 GMT -5
I'd be interested in entering this, assuming that it's still open! It is. Sorry, I didn't see your reply. I'll give you two extra days. |
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Post by Owlmoon on Mar 16, 2017 14:00:02 GMT -5
You only have three people, care if I enter as well? Nope. I'll give you two extra days if you enter still. |
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Post by ❴ ғα∂ιηg ✦ яεαℓιтү ❵ on Mar 16, 2017 14:00:52 GMT -5
You only have three people, care if I enter as well? Nope. I'll give you two extra days if you enter still. oh I've already got some stuff, does it have to be warriors related? |
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Post by Owlmoon on Mar 16, 2017 14:01:54 GMT -5
Nope. I'll give you two extra days if you enter still. oh I've already got some stuff, does it have to be warriors related? Sort of, if you could turn the characters into cats, that would be great. |
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Post by ❴ ғα∂ιηg ✦ яεαℓιтү ❵ on Mar 16, 2017 14:02:25 GMT -5
oh I've already got some stuff, does it have to be warriors related? Sort of, if you could turn the characters into cats, that would be great. okay, will do, I'll have to go through and edit it then |
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Post by Owlmoon on Mar 16, 2017 14:04:22 GMT -5
Yea. Post it when you can and I'll read.
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Post by ❴ ғα∂ιηg ✦ яεαℓιтү ❵ on Mar 16, 2017 14:10:05 GMT -5
okay, i found a way around editing by focusing on the more emotional parts of the story a little background info on these two experts is they are from my nanowrimo fic - iridescent - and its the soulmate color au Secrets, they hurt relationships, I know it hurt ours. It was destined to happen. It came out and it wasn’t pretty. It broke everything apart.
But that’s in the past, there’s no point dwelling on it now, they both lay in graves, and one day I will too, these secrets and what happened because of them will die then.
I laugh when I think about it now, how trivial it seems in the grand scheme of life and death. How big and catastrophic it seemed to us three, how little it affected anyone else.
It didn’t affect anyone else. It affected Alex in the way it made him resent me. It affected David in the way he looked at me. It affected me in the way he interacted with me.
I was a fool to think it wouldn’t.
I regret those words from that day. But mainly I regret never returning to him. Never apologizing and explaining it. I should have returned and explained and apologized. But I didn’t and so I lost him. I lost him because I was an idiot and a coward.
That memory is hard to revisit for me, always has been and always will be. It’s a foggy one, painful and raw with emotions. Raw with colors that I lost. The emotions, the colors, they are one and the same. Swirled together in my mind, they equate in a way that’s hard to explain. I wish I could go back and relive it so I could try to explain it. But there’s no going back now.
David and Alex are dead. My iridescent days are over. And now I’m dying.
Goodbye black and white world, it was nice knowing you when you had color. |
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Post by ❴ ғα∂ιηg ✦ яεαℓιтү ❵ on Mar 16, 2017 14:10:42 GMT -5
wow i just realize how short those were, if you want more i can pull more
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Post by Owlmoon on Mar 16, 2017 14:19:02 GMT -5
Uh, yeah. The requirements are about a page.  |
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Post by [~Ghost Writer~] on Mar 16, 2017 14:26:18 GMT -5
Sorry. I can't do this
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Post by Owlmoon on Mar 16, 2017 14:28:19 GMT -5
Oh. Okay, that's okay Blue.
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Post by ❴ ғα∂ιηg ✦ яεαℓιтү ❵ on Mar 16, 2017 14:45:56 GMT -5
Uh, yeah. The requirements are about a page. sorry i didn't see that lol oops |
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Post by ❴ ғα∂ιηg ✦ яεαℓιтү ❵ on Mar 16, 2017 17:21:35 GMT -5
Ignore the other stuff, use this instead:
Here we go. I tried to steady my racing heart as I scrambled up the rockface, paws slipping on it’s slick surface from the rain.
This is my only chance. I pulled myself up onto the ledge, shaking with effort and fear of what I was about to do.
No turning back now. That’s what I told myself as i stood up, facing my biggest nightmare that lived on this mountain.
There he was. I flinched away as the shadows of the cave formed into a cat shape until he appeared in front of me, smiling.
I can’t do this. I walk backwards until I hit the edge of the ledge, he laughs, “why so nervous? Do I scare you?”
I need to leave now. I stutter out the words, they got caught in my throat, my tongue refusing to shape them, “not afraid of you; afraid of us.”
What made me think this was a smart idea? He laughed again, his teeth a stark contrast against his bark tabby pelt, his green eyes sparkling as he replied, “oh really?”
He was baiting me. “Yes,” I said, straightening my posture and putting my tail up towards the sky in a show of bravery.
What was I thinking? “You’re a wild one, Dancingflame, but then again, you always have been.” He laughed again.
The laugh that I use to love. “You’re one to talk, Bearmask, going rogue and killing your brother. What did Silverhawk do to you?” I let my anger out now.
My best friend and the love of my life. Bearmask shrugged his muscular shoulders, “he had to die, he was interfering with my plans for our future.”
They were both dead in different ways. “He was my best friend, I wanted both of you in my life. But you ruined that, all because you got jealous.” I spat out the last part.
Why did I think this would fix anything? “You know as well as I do, he wanted us to separate, he loved you like I did, but you loved me instead,” he replied.
Why did everything always go wrong? Rage fueled me, “doesn’t mean he had to die! He was your brother; he was my best friend!”
Everything was ruined. “Dancingflame, please calm down,” he began. “It’s over, we can’t do anything about it.”
I tried so hard to do good in hopes it’d turn out. “You’re right,” I snapped. “It is over, and so are we, goodbye Bearmask.”
I wanted to rip him apart like he did to Silverhawk. “Goodbye then, my love, I won’t forget you, ever.” The was a sadness in his voice.
How dare he. Shaking with rage I turned around and began to scale my way down the mountain for the very last time.
It will never be the same. A blur of motion hurled past me, dark fur, I watched him as he fell down the mountain and to the ground.
He was dead.
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Post by Owlmoon on Mar 16, 2017 18:13:44 GMT -5
Alrighty! Here we go...
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![[~Ghost Writer~] Avatar](http://storage.proboards.com/6575102/avatar/vVGNctuvWjTLXOffDYEW.jpg)
