Post by Deleted on Nov 10, 2016 18:06:52 GMT -5
Something happened a few days ago and I lost a friend because of it, if he was even a friend in the first place.
So some of you know I'm pregnant, which in case you didn't know puts a ton of stress on me as it is and my hormones have been quite literally raging. Like, I'm basically a fire breathing dragon at this point when I get angry. But I also have been in a really badly depressed spell the past few weeks. There are days I don't get out of bed till 4 in the afternoon, except to get a snack or something. Afterwards I go straight back to my bed. As a result I've been less social towards my friends. Because I want and need time to myself when I get this way.
I had this one friend from Washington, Tom. Well, he and his girlfriend have been pushing me to move there for almost a year now. At first I wanted too but they kept pushing me asking when I planned to move, when I'd have the money to go. Basically trying to pressure me to go as soon as I could, and I just started feeling pressured, like I HAD to go. I started to not want to go at all, particularly when they asked if I'd be willing to do dirty stuff with them both. That made me so uncomfortable, and I stopped talking for awhile. I did start talking again and I kinda started to forget about what they asked. I started to wanna move again, but they started pushing me and pushing me again, and I felt pressured yet again. So I never did. After finding out I was pregnant, I told Tom and he started badgering more than ever for me to go there. He said I'd be better off with him than my family. Well, let me see, NO. My family is letting me live with them for free, I'd have to pay half the rent with Tom. Not to mention Tom can't even keep a freaking job, he's been fired from FOUR jobs!!! Which means if I moved I'd end up paying all the rent and he'd be a freeloader. Not to mention I'm confused in Pennsylvania as is, if I moved I'd be in Washington and confuse. I've lived in my state all my life, last thing I need is a huge change.
Well, past week or so I haven't been talking to anyone. Except my best friend Riley, but not even her as much as I used to. I've been under a lot of stress, so naturally when Tom texted me I ignored him knowing it would lead to him demanding me to move. Well I decided screw it one night when he texted me asking if I hated him, I responded and the conversation went sorta like this...
Tom: Do you hate me?
Me: Why would you ask that?
Tom: you've been ignoring me
Me: I just wanted to be by myself
Tom: well ignoring me implies you hate me
Me: no? It means I just want to be alone
Tom: but wanting to be alone means you hate me
Me: no, it just means I'm under stress and I want to be by myself. Nothing more, nothing less
Tom: well while you've been ignoring me I've been having to worst week of my life *insert rambling about money issues here*
Me: well I've been stressed too and my way of handling it is keeping to myself. I won't apologize for thinking of myself for once
Tom: but you could have talked to me about my issues!!
Me: I've been under stress as it is and I have something a bit more important to think about. Have you forgotten I'm pregnant? And that it's father walked out? Have you forgotten?
Tom: I know your stress is greater than mine but that's not the point!!! You can handle five minutes of stress it won't hurt!!!
Me: don't you even dare, you know nothing of pregnancy or my stress already, I told you I'm thinking of myself for ONCE, you should respect that and leave me alone!!!
Tom: if you refuse to help me I can't even call you my friend. I've done nothing but help and support you and half the time you don't even take my advice
Me: screw it, if this is how you're treating me when I helped you so many times in the past, so be it. Bye I don't care anymore
Tom: bye
Then his girlfriend texted me saying how talking to him wouldn't have hurt. And I said the same thing I tried telling him "I'm thinking of my own well-being here. I'm NOT risking my baby's health over his stupid, stressful idiocy. If he can't understand that I gave my own needs then I don't want to be his friend" and she said "okay..." and that was that. Deleted them off facebook, done.
I'm not selfish, am I? Especially how many times I have helped him in the past. How I ended up in the middle of his and his girlfriend fighting, and having to basically couple council them. And when I went to him with an issue, he would only say "oh" "wow" "that sucks" and give no advice whatsoever. The only time he would try advising me would be telling me to move. Which, let's face it, wouldn't even gave helped me at all. It honestly would have made my situation worse off actually. He even admitted he just wanted a roommate to help pay the bills, so I am pretty sure he only tried to use me.
What do you think?
So some of you know I'm pregnant, which in case you didn't know puts a ton of stress on me as it is and my hormones have been quite literally raging. Like, I'm basically a fire breathing dragon at this point when I get angry. But I also have been in a really badly depressed spell the past few weeks. There are days I don't get out of bed till 4 in the afternoon, except to get a snack or something. Afterwards I go straight back to my bed. As a result I've been less social towards my friends. Because I want and need time to myself when I get this way.
I had this one friend from Washington, Tom. Well, he and his girlfriend have been pushing me to move there for almost a year now. At first I wanted too but they kept pushing me asking when I planned to move, when I'd have the money to go. Basically trying to pressure me to go as soon as I could, and I just started feeling pressured, like I HAD to go. I started to not want to go at all, particularly when they asked if I'd be willing to do dirty stuff with them both. That made me so uncomfortable, and I stopped talking for awhile. I did start talking again and I kinda started to forget about what they asked. I started to wanna move again, but they started pushing me and pushing me again, and I felt pressured yet again. So I never did. After finding out I was pregnant, I told Tom and he started badgering more than ever for me to go there. He said I'd be better off with him than my family. Well, let me see, NO. My family is letting me live with them for free, I'd have to pay half the rent with Tom. Not to mention Tom can't even keep a freaking job, he's been fired from FOUR jobs!!! Which means if I moved I'd end up paying all the rent and he'd be a freeloader. Not to mention I'm confused in Pennsylvania as is, if I moved I'd be in Washington and confuse. I've lived in my state all my life, last thing I need is a huge change.
Well, past week or so I haven't been talking to anyone. Except my best friend Riley, but not even her as much as I used to. I've been under a lot of stress, so naturally when Tom texted me I ignored him knowing it would lead to him demanding me to move. Well I decided screw it one night when he texted me asking if I hated him, I responded and the conversation went sorta like this...
Tom: Do you hate me?
Me: Why would you ask that?
Tom: you've been ignoring me
Me: I just wanted to be by myself
Tom: well ignoring me implies you hate me
Me: no? It means I just want to be alone
Tom: but wanting to be alone means you hate me
Me: no, it just means I'm under stress and I want to be by myself. Nothing more, nothing less
Tom: well while you've been ignoring me I've been having to worst week of my life *insert rambling about money issues here*
Me: well I've been stressed too and my way of handling it is keeping to myself. I won't apologize for thinking of myself for once
Tom: but you could have talked to me about my issues!!
Me: I've been under stress as it is and I have something a bit more important to think about. Have you forgotten I'm pregnant? And that it's father walked out? Have you forgotten?
Tom: I know your stress is greater than mine but that's not the point!!! You can handle five minutes of stress it won't hurt!!!
Me: don't you even dare, you know nothing of pregnancy or my stress already, I told you I'm thinking of myself for ONCE, you should respect that and leave me alone!!!
Tom: if you refuse to help me I can't even call you my friend. I've done nothing but help and support you and half the time you don't even take my advice
Me: screw it, if this is how you're treating me when I helped you so many times in the past, so be it. Bye I don't care anymore
Tom: bye
Then his girlfriend texted me saying how talking to him wouldn't have hurt. And I said the same thing I tried telling him "I'm thinking of my own well-being here. I'm NOT risking my baby's health over his stupid, stressful idiocy. If he can't understand that I gave my own needs then I don't want to be his friend" and she said "okay..." and that was that. Deleted them off facebook, done.
I'm not selfish, am I? Especially how many times I have helped him in the past. How I ended up in the middle of his and his girlfriend fighting, and having to basically couple council them. And when I went to him with an issue, he would only say "oh" "wow" "that sucks" and give no advice whatsoever. The only time he would try advising me would be telling me to move. Which, let's face it, wouldn't even gave helped me at all. It honestly would have made my situation worse off actually. He even admitted he just wanted a roommate to help pay the bills, so I am pretty sure he only tried to use me.
What do you think?