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Post by John 3:16 on Jan 7, 2017 1:30:17 GMT -5
you're doing it again. i though it had eased up over winter break but no. you look so sad and so down and i want to help you/. again and again i ask what's wrong, are you okay, and each time you reply with an 'i'm fine' or a reassuring smile. goddammit, i'm so worried, i don't want to lose you. you're such a bright and amazing person, and i know i might be jumping to conclusions and fearing the absolute worst but hey, that's what best friends do, right?
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Post by ⭐ 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍-𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖊𝖓 on Jan 11, 2017 23:09:07 GMT -5
you were my everything, at one point. it vanished because I was too young, too inexperienced. my everything became my nothing, and I found another. I left you for him. things were horrible with him. we had good times, yes, but times were mostly bad. with you, it was never like that. with you, it was perfect. and after him and I ended our relationship, you slowly became my everything again. I still had the real silver-and-diamond ring you gave me for our six months, a promise to me as I had already given a promise to you. but I broke that promise and it haunts me everyday. it is the worst mistake I ever made and ever will make. sometimes I wonder, "what if you were the one, and I messed it up? what if that was my one chance at true happiness... and now it's gone forever?" but most of the time, I am just happy that you are happy. you have also found another, and hopefully she is treating you better than I ever did(it wouldn't be hard to do that). all I want anymore is to see you happy, whether it is with her, with me, or with no one. I just want to see you happy. you know how I feel, as I had to tell you lest it eat me up. you were okay with it - understood it, even. and I thank you so much for that. for your continued friendship, even though we rarely talk anymore. you were my everything, and you are again my everything. you are my morning and evening star.
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Post by ❥ [[ 𝚗𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 ]] on Jan 14, 2017 23:46:32 GMT -5
I was young, and I didn't know what love was. I still don't. Was what I felt love? Probably not, but it was something. It was some form of love, and it was friendship, and I cared about you. I cared about you so much, and you made my day brighter, and every time I saw you it made me smile, and I was so sure that I was in love. We were just friends, but I knew that maybe we could be more and maybe you were in love too and maybe, maybe maybe maybe. Looking back on it now the thought seems so stupid, but at the time it felt so true.
But we were young.
We were young, and at that age everything falls apart. Nothing lasts forever, and everything is fleeting. We talked everyday, and I swore it would never end. I swore it would last until the day I died. I was happy with you. You were happy with me. Why should it end?
But we were young.
We were young, but your words still felt like magic. They were golden treasures that I kept and cherished and held onto and never let go of. I wanted to hold your hand and stare at sunsets and stargaze and kiss you and hold you and love you.
But we were young.
We were young, and I didn't know how to open up. I was a bottle, the pressure building and building inside of me. All this love, all this feeling, you never knew. And you were the same way. There was a miscommunication somewhere along the line. You loved me, you loved me so much. And I loved you even more.
But we were young.
We were young, and you didn't know I loved you. Your pining seemed to grow hopeless. You forced yourself to get over it while I sat in the dark, oblivious and still hopelessly in love. You stopped talking to me, and you fell in love with someone else. I cannot recall those days clearly, but the feelings are as vivid as I ever. The world came crashing down around me. The pressure finally became to much, and I cried and cried and cried until the bottle was empty and I felt nothing. Everything was a blur, but the hole in my heart was sharp. It hurt more than life could tell. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and sometimes I could barely breathe for all the hurt. No one noticed, not even you, especially not you, too absorbed in your blissful world to notice or care.
I'm over it now. What's past is past. But I still remember those halcyon days. I still remember the ecstasy and the euphoria. I still remember walking in the halls and texting until we couldn't keep our eyes open and laughing over the stupidest things.
But we were young, and it was never meant to last.
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Post by John 3:16 on Jan 19, 2017 5:28:16 GMT -5
i hate you, you ignorant bigoted ****. how could you support such a cruel person, who takes a dump on equality for everyone and elects such ****heads as those. i'd really like nothing more than to knock some sense into you, to grab you by the hair and rip your face out of that fantasy novel you call the bible. your dad has a confederate flag sticker on his car, as well as another sticker promoting that poor excuse for a human being, how ****ing classy of him. you **** on everything, you preppy piece of ****, and it took everything within me to not take that godawful shirt you were wearing and rip it to pieces i was so ****ing angry. i cant even describe how much i hate you, how much i'd gladly slit your throat wide open and watch you choke on your own blood. sounds really ****ing edgy, but does it look like a give a **** anymore?
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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2017 5:56:51 GMT -5
@all my new classmates
I'm new. I'm shy. I'm a Republican in a Democratic state. I don't know if I belong here, I don't know why God sent me here, but I do know that I am here now for the next few years. I don't plan on getting on the subject of politics and what I believe in on the first day, I'm sure you'll find that out overtime. But one thing I must ask for, is to have a bit of acceptance of who I am. I may believe in different things than many of you, and a lot of you don't like those 'different things' but I am still a human. I am not a target for insults. I am not racist, sexist, homophobic, have Islamophobia, or whatever other lies people like to make about me. I don't know if that's how you comfort yourselves or what have you, but I am still a human. I appreciate kindness and respect, just as any other. Yes I am a Christian and Conservative, which in my eyes is a good thing, although some people began to differ. I don't care if you like my views on politics, because we all have different views on the subject. And because we all have different views, I would appreciate it if you simply respected mine. I have come across others who do not like my views or I found that differed without mentioning my own. I simply stated 'Yes, I can see why you would think that.' Or 'oh.' And end the conversation. It's not hard, and I would be happy if people everywhere were as tolerant as they make themselves out to be.
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Post by ᴀᴄʜʀᴏᴍᴀᴛɪᴄ on Jan 21, 2017 20:07:23 GMT -5
If you were still alive, I still would probably never had said this to you.
You were mysterious. You seemed kind. You were shy. And you were in pain.
I never knew. I never knew because we weren't good enough friends. You went to a different school, you had different friends, we only had the chance to meet a few times.
I wish I had gotten the chance to know you.
To know the struggle you were in, the kind of pain you were going through. What made you do what you did.
To be honest, I wasn't interested in being your friend before. And I figured you didn't like me. You probably never did. You weren't thinking about me at the end, and I wasn't thinking about you.
But now I wish I were. After what happened, I want to know everything. Why? What was bothering you? What drove you to do it? Could anyone have helped?
Were we in the same position?
What was it like in your final moments? Did you regret what you did? Or did you feel at peace? Or perhaps, were you suffering till the very end?
You were such a beautiful girl. An extraordinary artist. You didn't deserve the life you were given. And I feel like, if we had ever actually talked, that we could have had so much in common. I think we would have been able to relate to so much. We could have made art together, we could have complained about life together, perhaps we even could have helped each other.
But I didn't know you well enough. And now I have that uncomfortable regret. I wish I could have known you better.
And it is just. So. Frustrating.
To see your actual friends and family grieving for you but not understanding why you did it. Why you never told anyone or asked for help.
But I do.
You didn't tell anyone because you knew they wouldn't understand, that they would just try to stop you. You didn't want help because you knew it wouldn't work, you just wanted it all to end because it is ultimately the only real solution. They said you could come to them and talk about it, and you just nodded and said "thanks", but those were empty words. Because you knew they didn't understand, that they couldn't help.
But I understand. Maybe I was the only one, but I can never know.
Because I never got the chance to know you well enough.
Perhaps how I think you were feeling is just a reflection of my own feelings.
And in a lot of ways, I wish I could be like you.
Maybe that is why I'm so frustrated about not being close enough to you.
But in the end, there's nothing anyone can do about it. Because you're gone, and I'll never have the chance to tell you,
That I understand everything you were going through.
I just wish I could have been there to comfort you, and let you know that you weren't alone.
But it's too late for that.
If you were still alive, I still would probably never had said this to you.
But I wish we had been friends. Because I was probably the only one who would have understood you.
And I hate myself for not being there for you.
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Post by John 3:16 on Jan 21, 2017 23:12:03 GMT -5
I'm absolutely done. You come up to me and say things like this, how I'm going to hell for liking the bands I like and wearing the clothes I wear. I cannot believe someone like you is living in ****ing Washington State, land of the liberal democrats. You absolutely disgust me. You spoke against the GSA, and I heard you make side comments at both the gal in the wheelchair and one of the muslim girls wearing a hijab. You say God has put you here in this situation, you say God is commanding you to save souls. But you know what? God isn't real. The Bible is just a farce. Angels aren't real. What you are worshiping is just a figment of human imagination, a creation of people desperately trying to explain the seemingly unexplainable at the time. Suck it up, *****, and face reality, God surely won't do it for you. Let alone protect you from my fist flying at your idiotic face, because god damn you have a punchable face.
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Post by literalynxxo on Jan 24, 2017 19:58:14 GMT -5
>>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<<
I know you try. But sometimes trying just isn't enough.
You ignore me. You walk away. You try to be better. But you can't.
I understand that she is your best friend. But understand, that she is a monster.
A monster that is rotting you to the core, and you don't even notice it.
She doesn't care for you. She laughs at you, she's overly sarcastic with you,
and she's poking and prodding you like a doctor with a needle.
Except you don't even know you have an appointment.
I'm telling you, friend. Leave her be. Or bad things will only occur.
And I'll tell you I told you so. Because I have. Not through words,
but through eye contact, and my unwillingness to sit next to her in lunch.
You think we are friends, but the two of us? Me and her? That couldn't be farther
from the truth.
Just watch your back, because sooner or later she's going to turn around and stab it.
>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<<
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Post by Morelia on Feb 5, 2017 11:57:29 GMT -5
When I was younger, I always wanted a best guy friend. It wasn't a "romance" type of thing; I simply couldn't relate to other females in the way that I could males. Maybe it stemmed from growing up around a bunch of guys. My dad, my two brothers. The only girls who ever came through were my dad's girlfriends, and often times, they wouldn't stay very long. After I left and moved in with my mother instead, I felt anxious. Going to a new school, meeting new people... it was all terrifying for a 13 year old kid. I quickly assimilated myself into a group, and for the first couple of days, I didn't see you around. I didn't know you existed. When I did, you complimented me. I thanked you, and asked your name.
Now, a little over four years later, you are my best friend. I love you more than I love some of my own family, and there isn't a thing about me that you don't know. We've had our fair share of fights. The two of us have grown, and have changed drastically. Even so, we put our differences aside, in favor of our friendship.
We've traveled halfway across the country together, and have gotten into trouble more times than I can count. I've made some insane memories with you, and can't wait to keep making more.
I'm so, insanely proud of the person you have become.
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Post by נσкσмαтσ on Feb 5, 2017 13:10:24 GMT -5
There's no reason why you should still be thinking of me, after all these years. You're an adult now. Twenty-two, I think? It's good if you don't remember me because what you asked me and what I responded with four years ago was wrong. I didn't know that it was wrong but I think you did and that's why things ended so fast. That's why the day you turned 18, you said those things to me and you left. To this day I don't know if you really meant what you said. My friends told me it was because you were a ---- and you've always been one. I like to think that you were just trying to make it easier for me. After all, if I hated you, it'd be easier to get over it, right?
Maybe if we had been just a few years older when we met, our story wouldn't have ended that way.
In any case, I still think about you sometimes. I know I told you differently, but I was lying when I said you weren't my first. You were. You were and who you were back then (I don't know if you're still like that now) has influenced me in ways you can't imagine. Every time I fall for someone now I see traces of you. I see you and I hear your voice and I think of how far we've come. Not together, but I know I've grown and I see that you have too.
Yeah, I still find myself going through your channel sometimes. Remember when I tried to congratulate you on hitting 1K? No, you probably don't. You never responded and I don't know if again it's because you wanted to protect me from the memory of you or if you never even saw it. Or maybe my friends were right and you really do hate me.
It doesn't matter. Because I'll never see you again. Even if I saw you, you would never let me get close. I like to think that you're still trying to protect me. So maybe it's good that we'll never come face to face again.
And it doesn't matter, but you were my first, and for me, that means that some part of me will always love you.
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Post by shades on Feb 5, 2017 14:59:41 GMT -5
i wrote this in my two-and-a-half-hour sociology class about my awesome professor.
My professor is the devil. Though you wouldn’t imagine the devil to be teaching a two-and-a-half hour sociology class at 6 PM. In the beginning, he always struts into the classroom with a false raw hide jacket and equally fake leather satchel. His shoulders swaying back and forth as he makes a beeline for the desk. Perched on his nose are a pair of gaze-blocking dark sunglasses and he always wears a “don’t talk to me” look on the visible parts of his boyish face. You would think the devil to be tall and muscular, something of horror films. However, at 5’11 he walks with an idle step and slouches over the podium to briefly review his notes and let the waves of exhaustion from the long day roll off. He always returns to teaching before the students get edgy and begin to fidget in their seat uncomfortably. His dark hair was spiked like the spears of his enemies and his eyes are likened to the pits that replaced his students’ souls.
He would carry a package of gummy bears and red bull into class, prepared for the two hours of him lecturing and the half hour of the students and himself perked and waiting for class to be over and for the long day to end. Throughout the time he would pop a lone gummy bear in his mouth and complain that he would eat himself sick. “Who the ⬛ trusts the blue gummy bears anyways? What flavor are they?” There would be a pause, before he proceeded to shove the sweet in his mouth and progress on the topic of love and relationships.
“Oh I’ve been in a relationship for one month. We’re so in love. I can’t wait to marry—wake the ⬛ up kids!” He would shout in a spur of the moment. I’m never sure if these sort of outbursts are to actually wake the students, or to simply startle them out of their daze and cell phones. He never directly would call out anyone, but there would be a wave of agitation in the air as nobody responds to the discussion of the class and he simply lets the examples fall on his lips and a silent “you figure it out for the 100 point exam then” cross his face as he moves onto the next subject.
That said, the devil has the patience of prey hunting their dinner. There was always an aspect that seemed to bring the heavens out of the hellish side of him. As the students prepare to speak, he nods his head and turns to look at them with patience and eagerness to hear their ideas. He smiles a charming sort of smile, one that would liken to a father guiding his children through the hell fires of life. He understood the nervousness of his students speaking for a class of eighty; he was like them once. A timid student—a single leaf among the bushel. He had a kind nature that was up for debate, but was rigid in his codes and the opinions he values. There was an almost delicate aspect with how he treated his students, hoping for their success and that they find guidance in the wisdom he offered to them.
The devil himself is not the man himself. It was the role in the classroom as the instructor that led him to become the evil to the students, the one who hands out the failures and simply brings down everyone’s grades. But as a man, a father to eighty students and his own biological son; there was a sympathy to be had for the devil, whom was just trying to ensure attainment for everyone.
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Lesbian
falconfire
currently watching/reading/playing: haikyuu, avatar: the last airbender, animal crossing new horizon
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Post by falconfire on Feb 5, 2017 21:43:51 GMT -5
i have a friend, and i learned awhile ago from my parents who'd talked to her parents that our friendship had helped her get through some really rough times a few years ago. we've been neighbors more than half of our lives, but i had no idea she'd felt that way.
i wish we still talked as often as we used to? we've got pretty different interests now, and we don't share any classes, and we've each found our own little niches and separate friend groups with people we've got lots in common with. but she still shares with me the silly little buzzfeed snaps and instagram posts that remind her of our friendship, and i do the same with her. i don't know if she knows how much it means to me.
usually i don't care if people think i'm, like, 'cool' or w/e, but sometimes i worry she keeps her distance on purpose, though i know we're both busy, because she thinks i'm too weird or something. she's never really been cruel, so my heart of hearts knows that's probably not true, but my fear loves to make me worry.
i'm a senior in high school this year, and she's a junior, and i just don't want to graduate without confirming that we're still friends, but i'm scared to go about it.
i cried writing this lol
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Post by EthanTheAnnus on Feb 7, 2017 2:10:02 GMT -5
Omg I need to write about my crush  )) When you aren't there, my day seems empty. When I caught your eye at Homeroom this morning, it made my day. You are the sun that orbits my earth. It never used to be like this, but this is what it has become. My classes without you are boring. The boys who I know like me are ugly and annoying. You, though, are different. I look at you and my problems fade. My day is made just by seeing you arrive. Weekends are when I stare at your pictures on Instagram. I don't know if you feel the same. I've seen you look at me once or twice, but I don't know if you like me in that way. I've had to sit next to your before and felt both happy and awkward all at once. I remember in prep how you were my only friend for the first week. I wish I knew if you liked me, for you always make my day. ((This came from the heart)) |
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Post by literalynxxo on Feb 15, 2017 19:08:26 GMT -5
>>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<<
I'm glad. I'm glad that after all this time in Middle School, these long weeks, semesters, months, whatever term you prefer that you finally open those grand blue eyes of yours. Because it's about time.
It's about time that you realized that your 'best friend,' loves a pair of jeans more than you. It's about time that you realized that your 'best friend' has other friends that she'd die for rather than you. It's about time that you stopped being an idiot, and realized, that me, Zaylee, Lindsay, Madi, and Natalia are here to protect you.
Me specifically.
I've always been the friend to be skeptical of everyone. Didn't you know why I got into a fight with Leah? It's because I didn't trust her. I didn't believe that she was a good person; that she would simply ignore us and go on with her day like you did. And I was right. I believe that that is self-evident from that one day where she came over and created a thunderstorm of hate for us all.
Didn't you know why I was so uneager to make friends on the first day? Why I sat in a corner and stayed quiet for those first few weeks?
It was because I needed to know who I can trust. I don't leap into 'hey! Let's be friends!" like a lot of you do. I need to look in their eyes, and see whether or not they are good. I've always been right. I was right to trust Zaylee. To trust Lindsay. To trust Madison. To trust Natalia. And more importantly, to trust you. I trust you to see what I see in people. The worst. Because if you see the worst first, maybe you can dig underneath and find the best, if they have one.
The second I looked into your 'best friends' eyes, I knew she was a bad person. But I figured I'd let you see for yourself sooner or later.
I'm glad you've finally opened your eyes. That finally noticed what I've known this whole time. I'm glad you gave her up, because she was bad from the start.
>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<<
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Post by ~TopmødeFlyinglark~ on Feb 17, 2017 18:58:08 GMT -5
Why? Why did you turn on me? We were best friends, nothing could come between us and then, we had a minor argument that Friday, and you start treating me like I'm sub-human. Yes, I have my imperfections, I'll admit that. I get angry, and when I do, it's not a pretty sight and I'll say things that I don't mean, but help me release the anger built up. I'm not proud of it, but I can't control it. But you just took it and used it to make me weak and vulnerable and benefit yourself. And all these comments you keep making, attacking people you've never met because they don't conform with your ideals, stating openly that you don't care about your friends. Why do they stick with you? There's nothing about you that's really redeeming, I suppose maybe an ounce of charisma. But that's it. You treated me like dirt, like I was at your disposal, like you could just treat me however you wanted and there'd be no consequence. You could hardly blame me for standing up, but every time I do, you hold it against me. You can say to me that you're worried about me, that I'm just not the person I used to be, but we both know you don't care about me. And you had to tell them. Tell them everything bad that I'd ever done. But you know what? Unlike you, they were concerned because they actually cared about me. And then when I tell people how I personally feel about your actions, you claim that I'm harassing you. I'm sorry, have you seen how you treat people who don't conform to your standards? But you keep saying it's different because you'd actually say it to their face. We both know that's irrelevant to the central point and that you're just trying to defend yourself. You know what? I'm glad we've gone our seperate ways. You're nothing but a manipulative judgemental eejit who's too stupid to realise I'm only human.
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Post by 𝕊’𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 on Feb 21, 2017 1:56:27 GMT -5
First of, I still consider you a friend. However you sort of make me feel like second rate stuff and I hate it. I feel like I'm just...ehh there's S'more/(my name), since there's no one else on, I'll talk to her, and that's only sometimes. You make me feel bad and I can't tell if your just bored, oblivious, annoyed, or trying to be mean. But it sucks because I'm annoyed at you because I can't be annoyed at you even though I feel like I should be annoyed at you, and I know that doesn't make any flipping sense but it's how I feel. I actually wrote a whole story based on how I feel, and granted it wasn't all just because of you, but also a bunch of other people too, but you had a part in it and I'm so tired of feeling like this. I just wish you would be up front with me because I am terrible at reading people, but no, we can't seem to do that and it bugs me so much because I just want to fix things, or maybe just leave things and go different ways. It's hard because I still like you and I still get excited every time I see you and I sort of hate myself for it because dang it, I have a bloody right to be upset and I feel like I don't but I do, and because I am so afraid of confrontation, I hold back so much of how I genuinely feel and so I have resorted to expressing my feelings in a giant rant on a fanmade cat website. That's how bad it's gotten. But you know, whatever. Because if you are sick of me, please just tell me, it will hurt, but I'll move on and stop obsessing over what your thoughts are.
(I kinda hate how good this felt, but it felt real good)
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2017 7:51:51 GMT -5
Now, you were my best friend when we were little and stood up for me when no one else did. It sure was nice. In a few years when we weren't in the same classes and moved into different hobbies, ( Warrior Cats Forums and reading for me, soccer and hockey for you. ) then we slowly drifted apart. I slowly almost forgot you until the tryouts for the volleyball team and met you back there. Awkward laughs, jokes, smiles, reminiscing of the old days. I loved it and soon realized how much I needed you. When you weren't there, I was weak and vulnerable. You taught me to stand up for myself. I'm thankful for it. So, I reconnected with you. We talked again, texted each other, and had sleepovers like little girls until you told me something. Something scary. In a few months you were gone. Never to come back. How did I feel? Scared. More exposed than ever. And a few days after that? I realized how good a friend you were to me back then. You were kind, nice, and brave. A true Gryffindor befriending a lonely Hufflepuff.
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Post by ღℳ𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓼𝓽𝓻𝒆𝓪𝓶ღ on Feb 21, 2017 9:30:39 GMT -5
I miss you. There are nights when I cry and say that I am tired of waiting. I don't know where you are and I wish you could come back. I blame myself for you going to rehab. I knew how much pain you were in and I did nothing. I was blind and fighting my world, when I should have helped you instead. Now, I am not even sure what is the truth, anymore. I miss you, every night, and I sleep in the shirt, I took from your room. The only thing I have to remember you. I try to continue with my life and forget, some days, it works. Yet, on others, I remember and it hurts me like an open wound. I can't talk to anyone about it expect for my best friends. I made a drawing for you and I hope that I could give it to you. Now, it hurts, even more as I remember your Birthday is a few days away. Oh, how I wish you knew that there is someone in the world, who loves you and who will help with anything, if you just reach out. I am so sorry, my love. Please keep carrying on for me, you are so much more than you think, you are.
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Post by Lightningdawn on Feb 24, 2017 20:52:35 GMT -5
Why?
So I guess we're over. It's been a few weeks now. Not that we were officially together, but in a school as small as ours, when you ask to talk to a girl in private at break and tell her that even though your friendship fell through three years ago, you're in absolute love with me, it is generally viewed as something important.
I thought you cared about me.
"You've been acting like you hate me."
"Why are you so annoying?"
"Just shut up!"
Three things you said to me.
I wouldn't officially date you. I wasn't allowed. But I thought...someday. Instead, you ran off with the girl in our class who's probably gonna be a teen mom by 15, and did unspeakable things. And told me over text.
Stop showing up at my locker. Stop following me.
I never want to know you again.
-The one you claimed to love.
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Post by Owlmoon on Feb 26, 2017 18:38:01 GMT -5
Two different people.
You are SO annoying. You bug me everyday. You stare at me and make me squirm under your gaze as you look at me. Stop looking at me! Just stop it! I can tell you like me. Look, if I'm mean to you, it's only because I don't return your affections. Just get off my back. I'm never mean, but it just makes me feel so uncomfortable. Just stay away. I'm sorry.
You're nice to me. We walk together, but know when to walk farther away so that I'm not embarrassed when another person comes up. No one ever sees us. Please notice me. It's so hard to tel what love is. SO hard. You make me want to be perfect. There's always some hidden tension. It's awkward. Just go to one school dance. Something. The suspense kills me. Tell me how you feel.
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Bisexual
dou
✩ no one does it better
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Post by dou on Feb 26, 2017 19:46:37 GMT -5
What a wonderful feeling guilt is, isn't it? The feeling of your gut twisting and churning the second you look at that one soul that counted on you the most. I apologize, for letting you down. I apologize I made you feel like you needed to treat me like a filthy animal. You built me up. Let me know how wonderful and amazing I was. You helped my confidence grow, my depression fade. You taught me life lessons that I should not have learned so early on. I trusted you with my life and you went and stomped on it like I was just some cigarette ash, falling from your addiction. You left me waiting. Waiting for your care. Your love. But you disappeared. You were my best friend, but you left.
Now, let me tell you a little something, friend. I've grown to know guilt. I've grown to know how life feels when nobody cares for you, looks out for you. You left me broken, abandoned.
Then you came back.
You apologized for leaving me. I made the mistake of forgiving you, and trusting you once more with my life. You cherished it, you cherished me. You made me feel like I was beautiful, like I was a goddess.
Hah.
You took what I was giving you. You stole what meant most to me. You stepped on my soul as if I were one of your cigarettes. Like I was just a piece of your life that meant nothing to you. You hurt me more than any person has in my life, and you did it because I was dumb enough to forgive you. So, here's to that. To heartbreak, to depression, to hurt, to hate. To your guilt when you see my face. To your hate for me, to your need to hurt me the way you did.
Cheers to you, friend. I hope karma bites you back.
To you, I'm doing better now. I've moved on. I'm feeling better about myself. I haven't hurt myself in years. And I'm doing better. I have a new universe, a new star, a new life. All thanks to you crushing me and making me learn that trusting people is harder to do than giving up your own best friend.
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Post by literalynxxo on Feb 27, 2017 19:00:06 GMT -5
>>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<<
Why did you do it? No matter what, whenever I saw him, my heart skipped a beat. It put a smile on my face. Like my world was complete. I looked forward to seeing him every day, simply because of the fact that he was an amazing person with a heart of gold, that light my mind aflame as if I touched the sun every time I stole a glance at his face. His glasses framed him perfectly and only perfected him even more, though in a way they showed he was imperfect.
He was the moon to my starry night, and when I let you know that, and the fact that my second best friend felt the exact same way towards him, you just had to open your mouth.
You were always trying to ruin my life. I have no idea why. Was it because my best friend, who never cared much for you anyway, hung out with me more than you? Were you hoping that you could win back my second best friend that had been yours first, and again, didn't care for you? Did I take something from you -which was never there, mind you- that made you just have to take him from me?
You did it in the worst way possible, too. You made me stop loving him. You asked him, me, or my second best friend. You specifically told him, that we were head over heels for him. You asked him to pick between the two of us, and even though I knew he would choose her, when you came back and told us all this, told us his answer? It broke me. And my second best friend didn't even relish in the fact that she had been chosen. She was just as furious and upset, because she was a real friend and knew it was just a friendly competition between the two of us. Even if he had really asked either of us out, we would've declined, just to spare each other.
The second you realized this, the second you realized that my best and second best friends had turned on you for harming my feelings, you tried to take it back. What did you expect? That we'd accept you're half-hearted apology? The damage was already done.
After that, I could never look him in the face. I was humiliated. My pride was torn. Afterward, when I got over it, nothing got better. When I looked him in his gorgeous brown eyes I felt nothing. My heart didn't skip a beat. My mind didn't glow with a strange happiness. He was still a person with a heart of gold, but it wasn't a gold that caught my eye and made me stare in awe. I didn't like him anymore. And that was because of you. I hope you're happy with what you've done.
Just you wait, and karma will come around and stab you in the back too.
>>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<<
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Post by Deleted on Feb 28, 2017 19:15:12 GMT -5
You finally taught me that being nice isn't all to life, and clearly stated that you have to fight for what you want. Do you really? Because I can't do that. You know me..... But anyways, you are a nice person that's a bit too careful. Too much for my liking, I suppose. No matter how you try to comfort me and tell me that Abbie is happy where ever she is now, I know you can never replace her. Maybe stop that for a while and don't treat me like a little china doll, scared to drop it and let it shatter into pieces. I mean, I can't be greedy after I lost Abbie, but.... This friendship is shrouded in secrets we keep from one another, scared to make either one of us mad. It's crazy how we never argue and just talk coldly, without the warmth and happiness that always comes when conversing with good friends. You are my friend though! My only one for now. I suppose I can't be picky. Maybe we can learn to fit together well. But for now, this isn't working well. I can't let you know because... what if you get angry? I'm scared. Exactly why this friendship is going downhill.
( I had to get this out, it's been nagging at me for quite some time now.)
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Post by treerain on Feb 28, 2017 19:41:25 GMT -5
I've actually done this before, but I'ma try again.
I... I don't know what to do about you right now. I care about you. And I want to be around you, like all the time... which is kinda clingy and weird, buT hey I never see you, so I don't have to worry about that huh?! Heh... yeah... sometimes you talk to me and I feel like you're one of my best friends... that's probably just because I ridiculously admire you for no logical reason other than crushes which are stupid which are... I don't know. I want to spend more time with you, so I can actually have a sense of what you feel. I hope I see you soon ><
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Post by ღℳ𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓼𝓽𝓻𝒆𝓪𝓶ღ on Mar 1, 2017 8:02:21 GMT -5
I wish you knew how beautiful you are. Your smile, your laugh, your hair, and everything about you. Everybody tells you that you are beautiful and gorgeous. Yet, you don't believe it. You used to play the violin and leave scars behind. Now, though, you don't, you still can't see it. You have a boyfriend that loves you and so many who adore you, including me. You wouldn't eat, if it weren't for me making you. I love everything about you and I just wish you could open your beautiful eyes to see the truth.
-Your Best Friend
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2017 19:38:44 GMT -5
Another thing because reasons
Why are you so on-and-off with me? Why don't you just stay my friend? Why can't I get along with that other girl who keeps stepping in and making me miserable?
All of these "whys" I wanted to ask, but when I asked them, there was no answers from anyone. No apologies, you're too stuck up for that. You can't be wrong. You yell at me for being rude when I'm just breaking myself to pieces over you. I have no reason to apologize. Well, I used to not have a reason. Now I do, but I'm never saying sorry. I want to do something to show that I'm done with your BS, but I'm such a coward, so I never will. Your friend has been so rude. She's gotten you to abandon me, she knows about my issues, she's just a little gossip. You can have her. You're perfect for each other anyway.
And for that friend I mentioned
I don't know why you decided to break me, and me alone. What did I do to you? I tried to be nice. tried to hold on to my friends, even after you left me alone, I kept trying. I was sick of it. I shouldn't have let go. I don't want to let go. But you've left me no choice. You antagonized me for being myself, so I guess it's over. No point trying to go against you when all you worry about is your friend and if I can be kept in the dust without my only friend in the world. But that's okay. When you fall down I won't help you up. Kindness and altruism are foolish anyway.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2017 19:42:24 GMT -5
dsmn I just realized I mixed up my messages and said a lot stuff that could have been directed towards the other person I was mad at oops
Whatever I just needed to get stuff of my chest. K, if you're listening, we're not friends anymore. M, if you're out there... go to hell.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2017 19:49:44 GMT -5
Okay one other thing cause I GOT A CRUSH THAT I BARELY SEE ANYMORE WHOOPS
We were friends, once. Last year, when I was happier and less of a hot mess. I remember how I found out I loved you. I saved you from my own little brother. I was confused, then I realized I was gay. I smiled and moved on. So did you. I'm glad you didn't care about who I liked. I wish there was more like you out there. Then you had to leave me. I invited you over for a glass of lemonade. I didn't want you to go. You left your phone number for your new house at my place. I still have it, but I don't know where it is. You still go to my school, but I never see you, except in hallways, when I crashed into another kid because I saw how pretty you had looked. Then I remember you kissed that boy in that car and I remembered how silly it was to want you. You've moved on. I get it. You probably think I'm weird, but I love you from afar. I'll always miss you. You made me realize who I was and offered me friendship after I had told you, and I'll always remember that. <3
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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2017 17:49:16 GMT -5
to be quite honest, I think about you a lot more than I'd care to admit. I wonder if you do the same. you probably don't--besides your self-centeredness and vanity, you're busier than ever right now. it's okay, though. I'd rather not be in your mind.
the way you treated me when I left should be enough to drive any feelings of sympathy or caring from me, but at the same time, we were friends. we were close friends. I still remember our sleepovers and late night conversations, dancing and singing in my room, giving you advice (none of which you ever used), and listening to your wild tales from your dodgier side of town. I was naive, inexperienced, young, prudish, and you were everything I wasn't. it was fun having a friend that was so different from my normal, and I think you felt the same. you benefited from studying with me and being responsible with how you spent your time. I could be wrong, though, but it doesn't matter anymore.
my mistake was thinking we were ever close friends. for a while, I considered you to be my best friend, someone I could confide in and tell anything to. you considered me the same thing--you called me your sister, at one point. it sure did feel like we were sisters. my own mother treated you like the mother that left you when you were only a couple months old. what went wrong? why did you choose to end it? why? in a way, you broke my heart.
when I heard you were pregnant, we'd just had our last communication. you went off on me, and I was undeserving, so instead of taking it, I fought back. it ended bitterly--I ended it with a cold remark along the lines of "I never want to see you again", and you respected that. we didn't talk, and still haven't spoken, but God, I cried so hard when I found out about your baby. in my opinion, you were losing so much by keeping her: your lifestyle, your reputation, your family, your friends, your college, your future. you knew your situation couldn't support her best, with your alcoholic father, nonexistent mother, and drug-addicted brother, and the baby's dope dealing father. but, you were stubborn--you always have been. I thought you were making the wrong decision.
it turns out, I was wrong. I see on Twitter and Instagram that you're being more responsible and dutiful to your new baby than I thought. you're juggling a job, college, and a baby with more grace than many young women do, especially at your age. it's remarkable, and I'm proud of you. she's a beautiful baby, just like her mother.
I still hold steadfast to what I said over a year ago: I don't want to speak to you ever again. what's the point of opening communication with you again? our lives are about to go in completely different directions now, more so than they already have. I think our time is over, but I could be wrong. thank you for coming in and making a mess of our lives. I've learned lessons that are sure to benefit me in some way.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 10, 2017 11:36:42 GMT -5
It's hard to understand you. But I can't really blame you. It's probably not your fault. And even though you tease me so much, I still love you. I try hard to be myself, but I feel like your have a hard time with that too. You're the most intelligent person I have ever known and you have so many talents. You're amazing with animals. And you have the funniest jokes. You're amazing at any kind of art. You're a quick leaner and y oure good at skateboarding. I admire your love for cars and amuses me when you get excited about tattoos. Youre stubborn like me and you hold back your emotions. I know the old you is in there, bUt I don't care I love you for how you are now as well. And you might not know it, but I look up to you a lot. I have to admit, sometimes It's really hard for me not to take some of your words personal, I know you're just teasing and it's your way of you showing that you love me. And so I'll take it. I hope sometime you'll notice me. To another person: I hate you so much. I know you're better than most people. you don't beat me, but you still treat me and everyone like crap. Even the person you vowed to love forever. You ruined everyone's life. And you put on such a facade when you're around your students and everyone else in public. And that laugh, I can't believe anyone wouldn't notice. I know you pay for everything that we have. The house, phones, cars, so you're not too bad. At least you're loyal in that part. So you're not too bad. But you stress out everyone around you and you made your children hate you. It's true. And when you try to force the family to do something, it ain't fun. I can't believe you're so oblivious to everything around you. Everybody always makes irritated faces when you try to come in. Why do you even want be part of our family time. Everybody knows you don't care. Well I know that I never will. |
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