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Post by ❴ ғα∂ιηg ✦ яεαℓιтү ❵ on Oct 24, 2016 15:47:17 GMT -5
So this is a prompt we did in creative writing, it's basically what the title says, I thought I'd share it with you all on what I wrote under it and see what you guys came up with yourselves. Feel free to post on this thread yours. Anyways, here's mine:
"You look at him the way you look at the stars." I do, I view him like my stars. I've loved the night sky for so long that I can't remember a time I didn't. When I was little I'd go outside and lay in the grass, staring at the sky for hours watching the stars slowly appear. Meeting him and getting to know him was like that. A process where one part slowly appears and then another until they're all in place creating this beautiful masterpiece. The night sky, my stars. Him. He's beautiful to me now in a way I couldn't have imagined before his stars appeared. In the day, before I knew him, it was boring, plain and dull. But then the sun started to set and he began to let me close and let me know him. Now I know him and all his stars, including the dead ones. The dead ones are beautiful to me too, his flaws, the parts he hates about himself. I love him like I love the stars, I love each individual part separately, I love the parts that intertwine like constellations, I love all of him like the night sky. I'll love him even when all of his lights burn out, all his stars are faded, I'll love him even when all that is left is darkness if it ever comes to that. It shouldn't ever come to that though, because for each star of his that dies, two more form in its place. Space has no limit and nor does he. The night sky is always going to exist, and even when he dies he will not be dead fully because his starlight will still be shining bright enough that people will remember. I will always remember, you don't forget the night sky, you don't forget the stars when you love them. I love him. My love for him is as numerous as the stars. So yes, I look at him like the stars, and that's because he is my night sky, my stars.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2016 13:47:36 GMT -5
I now know what class to take next year for school.
You really don't know how much I like you. You're sweet, and amusing. You're a good friend, and you're very thoughtful. I've always liked you, ever since we met 3 years ago. I remember, since you stood alone, and we struck up a conversation about things that my other friends would simply roll their eyes at. It was... interesting. As I got to know you more and more, I formed a bond with you. I had found a new friend. It was then that I realized how much I really liked you. I don't know if you like me. I only know that we are mutual friends, able to discuss things together that may seem strange to others. Do you like me? I'll probably never know. You have a girlfriend anyways, don't you? I saw a picture of her once when I glimpsed at your phone. She's a lot better looking than me. You must be happy with her. I envy you. I've told one person that I liked you, and no one else. It weighs heavily on me. You will never realize how much I really like you. Being demiromantic, that attraction does not come often, nor quickly. How I wish you were more open; how I wish you would really tell me how you feel about me. Do you like me... yes or no?
[ *whispers* I have no clue. Just a thing about this guy that I've had a crush on for about a year now. ]
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2016 14:40:56 GMT -5
I don't know why I am obsessed with you. I don't know how you can be such an amazing artist. I adore your art style, and the fact that you noticed me and not only put up with me, but that you consider me a friend, is such a shock to me. I really mean this, I really do. You are an amazing, creative person. Thank you for being you.
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Post by SilverHailstorm on Oct 25, 2016 17:34:04 GMT -5
(some people already know who I'm talking about.. ha ha)
I think you're a really awesome role model who's extremely smart, logical and even downright fun to be around. The fact that you were the first person to actually greet me is pretty awesome too. I hope that you log on the forums more often like you used to on the old forums.
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Post by lari on Oct 25, 2016 21:41:12 GMT -5
How on earth did it happen? Years ago we met by chance and had the time of our lives, though our friendship broke off, and it was only because of me. Yet you somehow found me again after so much time and when we fell in love it seemed amazing. It still is, and despite all these issues that tower over me and my fragile state of mind you somehow still manage to help and accept. You truly are the best person I could ever know, and it's shocking that you're still here, though I wouldn't want it any other way. From how much you care and love and support, I feel like I often can't give it all back, no matter how hard I try or need to. I feel helpless, but knowing you, you would only reassure me and say that I do enough, and withdraw into yourself. I wish you cared for yourself as much as you cared for others.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2016 22:32:51 GMT -5
Why? Why do you say those things to me? I suppose you don't understand that when you tell someone to kill themselves everyday it's not just a joke anymore. It never was a joke to me, but you never seemed to grasp that concept and still have not. It is like you can say as you please to me and I don't have permission to talk back or get mad. When I try to, you find a way to make what you say not as bad as it sounds.
It hurts. It hurts to call you my friend sometimes and the word upon my lips feels like a lie whenever I tell myself such things. You never have treated me the same as our other friends. A year ago, you had a crush on me, and you admitted that you had a crush on me for two years. And suddenly, a year later, as if I was completely different person, you treat me like filth. You hardly ever wait for me to walk with you to our next class as if I am some pest you desperately want to relieve yourself of. You throw worse insults at me than you would say to our other friends and we hardly communicate outside of school anymore. It's like we were never friends before this. I tried talking to you about this, but I couldn't say anything without my eyes filling up with tears and turning my stiuation into something humorous instead. Why can't you see this? Why do you make me feel this way? I thought I would miss you when I moved but suddenly it feels as if I won't. I highly doubt you will miss me either. After all, you have better friends apparently. My best friends seem to be closer to you than I ever was. I miss texting you because you used to make me laugh even when I could not see you in person. I missed being closer to you and having better times together even though we both screwed up with stupid drama nearly every week. I would rather have that relationship with you where we could both mess up and forgive each other for it. Now I feel like my feet are surrounded by glass and I have to watch where I step.
You and your friends seem to think it's okay to make fun of how I look, who I used to have a crush on, and how I act. I wanted to cry but we were in class and I didn't want to make a fool of myself. I thought you of all people would know when I've been pushed past the breaking point but it seems I misjudged that. You promise to apologize and yet no apology comes or of your mouth. Not even a text. Do my feelings not matter to you? Am I just the person you use as your verbal punching bag? I don't think you deny it on the inside. Don't bother trying to comfort me anymore, you never seem genuine these days anyway. I remember even this morning when I tried talking to you, you only insulted me more. My friends laughed at it too. At me. At what you muttered under your breath so only our other friends could hear it.
You put things like your XBOX above me. I wanted to text you today, I asked if you could but you said that you would if you were not playing XBOX with your friends. I was hurt or say the least. I felt replaced. And not by one particular object or person, but by everything. All of your possessions and friends seem to be worth more than I could ever amount to. I'm not asking to be treated like some sort of goddess, I just want you to treat me like a friend. To at least make an effort to even pretend to care about me. Or am I not worth the effort? I would prefer not to ask because I would be in more tears than I already am typing this. However, you would not be phased by it. Unlike how you used to care about me feelings. You would blow it off an hour later, like me bursting into tears was none of your concern. I know how you are. I don't need to actually cry to know your reaction. I wish you would stand up for me again when people picked on me. You know I never speak up, you were the only person who could through to them and make them feel at least slightly guilty about hurting my feelings. Now though, it seems as if that them hurting me was your sick interpretation of entertainment. I want the old you to come back. If there was any of him left in you. But I should not beg, I highly doubt you find me worthy of even begging anymore.
This is it for me. I draw the line here. I hope you are happy with yourself for doing this to me. To make me feel useless, unwanted, like a failure. I hope you have a better life than this piece of trash writing to you. I'll see you later, maybe.
(I'm about to cry oh my gosh, this hurts)
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Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2016 21:11:13 GMT -5
Every day you take a large spot in my ever running mind. I can't shake you out, not that I would ever try to. Every time you send me another letter my heart melts, and every time we tease each other and I hear the muttering they all say I turn cherry red. I have so many things to say to you, but I never will, because every time I try, your presence makes me fall apart. Your crimson hair, your intoxicating smile, and the eyes... gosh the eyes, I either am caught staring in them, or turning away red every time. Time slows down to a brilliant stop and the void around us empties when we converse like it is the only thing that is left there. Endlessly laughing and joking until the outside world beckons to hear us again. I wish I could tell you this, but I can't. I am too shy, even after all we have been through I can't begin to express this to you.
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Post by lilikoi on Nov 5, 2016 22:21:36 GMT -5
Three years ago, I made you a promise. I don’t know if you remember it, because I hardly remembered it myself. But it was one of the biggest fights we’ve ever had, and to be candid, in time I began to think it a test. I thought it meant what we had would last forever—through any trial the world threw at us. Because through all of that, you kept telling me you cared about me. You told me you missed me, that you wanted me around, and that you had no one to talk to. And I was nothing but cold—angry even. Not with you, but it made me indiscriminately destructive. I told you the same things everyone else did. That you were being dramatic. That it was all in your head. I told you the same things everyone else told me. And I’m not asking you to excuse what I did—I’m asking that you understand I was wrong. I’m no more in touch with my emotions than I was then, but I know that they bring about just as valid of troubles as any other affliction. But at the end of that fight, I promised you you’d never be able to get rid of me…guess I did a lousy job ensuring that.
A year and a half ago, you dropped a loaded question on me as we headed to Chicago on your birthday. Neither of us liked the answer I gave. And given the chance, I wouldn’t change my answer. But I’d never let it come between us the way it did. Instead, I’d have been honest from the very start. And when you left that night, I wasn’t distraught because I thought you were angry with me. I was distraught because I’d broken your heart—and on your birthday no less. Regret hadn’t been something I’d allowed myself to experience for the longest time, but I couldn’t fend off the title wave that came with hurting your best friend—yes, you were my closest friend. And something in the back of my mind kept telling me I’d lost you. And I couldn’t stand that.
But you weren’t angry the next morning. You apologized. Somehow, it was you, the one who apologized. Even now, I can’t understand why. Not because I was wrong in the argument, not because I was the aggressor three years back, but because I was the one who left you when you needed me the most. I guess I just figured you’d leave me just as easily as everyone else has. And as we parted ways, I tried so hard to forget everything. I tried making new friends, I tried having new experiences, I tried distancing myself from everything that reminded me of you—which after seven years, was a whole lot of stuff. I tried to forget you because I knew I could never replace you.
So in conclusion, I’m sorry. I know I won’t be able to fix this. The damage goes beyond anything I know how to repair. And I know I still love you, but I know you’ve moved on too. Three years ago, I made you a promise. That I would always love you. But with that promise, I wished for your happiness, your betterment, and your fulfillment. And I am still poison. So I know I have to let you go.
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Post by ℜust ℜed ℜose on Nov 9, 2016 14:25:32 GMT -5
I don’t know why I started hating you. It’s obviously not your fault; you haven’t changed at all, and there’s no reason for me to out of nowhere want nothing to do with you. The problem is that that happened anyway. I can’t be friends with someone like you two anymore; I don't want to say I’m above you, but that's how I feel. I can’t stand either of you. I may have been silly before or showed some of the same interests, but we’re growing up now. I don’t want to be associated with you. I don’t want to talk to you. You need to stop texting to me. You need to stop inviting me to events. I can’t decline them forever, I can't keep giving excuses; how long will it take for you to realize I’m glad we’re in different classes? I’m glad we’ve grown apart. I’m not sitting in a different spot from you because I like having the back support; I’m doing it because I don’t want to be near you. Past me is over, gone. I’m not trying to be rude when I put my headphones on just so I don’t have to talk to you; I’m trying to give you hints. I’m ignoring your texts. Stop sending me ten at a time.
Hell, stop telling me I’m a furry. I never have been. I won’t make a goddamn fursona. I don’t want to. Don’t tell me ‘not every furry’ because I really don’t care. Other people think that, and you can’t stop them. Maybe I want to make some real friends, people who aren’t drawing shirtless humanoid animals, stop shipping me with animals. It’s disgusting and I want nothing to do with it. If you want to talk to me, don’t wear a tail to school. If you don’t want to change, I’m not going to keep talking with you.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2016 22:41:46 GMT -5
First day of second grade. I told myself. No friends. They'll only ruin your studies. I told myself. But that wasn't the only reason. A year ago, on the last day of first grade, all my friends betrayed me to be 'popular'. It hurt. It hurt real bad. No one cared. Not even the teachers. I cried. So, when the school got a falling average and I was allowed by the district to go to a more... succeeding school... I was more than glad. No friends. They'll only betray you, like those traitors. Do you know what happened as soon as I walked into my second grade class? I made friends. The best ones you could ask for.
A couple years later, it was the fifth grade. My crush, who I had so faithfully stuck to, had moved away. I was... crushed. But I didn't move on until he had gone missing. Not my crush, but another student.
He had moved to the school during the third grade. I had never really took notice of him before. But when he had mysteriously disappeared from the campus, I knew I had moved on from my old crush, because I couldn't stop jittering and shaking. I was so relieved when they found him. (He had run away because of how bad his friends were hurting him. Just like I had)
I loved him, and I knew it.
I just wish I had told him before the school year ended, because I never saw him again. I had moved to a different state. It hurt. It hurt real bad. So I cried, because not only did I lose him, but I lost my friends all over again.
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Post by Lórien on Nov 30, 2016 14:29:01 GMT -5
Why did you turn on me? Why did you give me false sense of security, to only beat me down later? Why do you think this is okay, and why do you expect me to still be your friend? I trusted you, you were my best friend... you made me think that you were the person that I should pour my heart out to. We did everything together, we told each other secrets. Was that all a joke to you? Was I just a toy for you to play with, a game? I'm going to take a guess, and say yes.
You hurt me, and you still do. You made me think that you're a good person, but with what you have said to me... I have proof otherwise. I fell into your trap, and I deeply regret doing so. Though you've never put a hand against me with the intention to harm me, your words are like blows. Every time you yell at me, my trust fades away. Every time you scream at me, my tears grow. Why do you expect me to stay by you, following every word? Why do you use your words against me like you do?
I'm separating myself from you now. I'm sick of this. All of this. I have nothing more to say to you, other then I hate you. Goodbye.
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Nov 30, 2016 17:52:13 GMT -5
The first thing you ever said to me was 'you'll be okay'. I didn't know your name and I didn't even speak your language but somehow you managed to get through to me anyway. I was just a kid in a foreign country, surrounded by people I couldn't talk to, and you were just a girl being kind to the stranger crying in the playground.
I didn't know how to talk, so I barely did. Whenever I tried, my English was shaky and so broken that nobody was able to make out the words. But despite that, you listened. You sat next to me while I stumbled over words that didn't belong on my tongue. You learned how to talk to me, which words I understood and which ones you needed to explain with your hands while you spoke. You learned to talk to me without even opening your mouth, and I loved you for it.
I loved you for many things. I loved you for you humour, and the way you laughed at the jokes I made, even when you barely understood them. I loved you for your hugs, and for how willing you were to give them away, even to someone who was careful with their own, someone like me. I loved you for never bringing up that time you'd seen my cry. I loved you for asking me about home, and about the language I spoke and you didn't, asking me to teach you like you were teaching me. I loved you because around you, I wasn't useless. Around you, I wasn't silent.
I think the problem was that I loved you too much, and in the wrong ways. It was too much emotion for you to accept, and too much for me to carry on my young shoulders. I don't remember the last words you said to me, so I decide to remember the last words I remember you saying, though that was days before we stopped talking. I like to think that they were the same as the first. 'You'll be okay.' |
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Post by ❦ℝḯρтḯⅾε~ℚυℯℯᾔ♪ on Nov 30, 2016 23:34:27 GMT -5
I think your amazing, you laugh lights up the room like the moon does the night, you eyes shine like a billion stars all going supernova at once, your hair looks like it was woven by the gods seamstress, your faith in me and my abilities is breathtaking and I just love you so much. Words cannot express how much I miss you all the time and I just can't stand that I have missed your important birthday, i know you say the gift I got you is enough but it isn't, nothing will ever be enough to tell you how much i admire you.
(Something for my one of the closest friends I will ever have, I'm missing her sixteenth birthday tomorrow and it's hurts so much.)
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Post by shortstop on Dec 1, 2016 20:45:05 GMT -5
The problem with my imaginary friends is that they're not imaginary. They're ghosts.
Ghosts of little moments that passed him by but hovered around me, refusing to leave. Ghosts of every touch, every word, every laugh we ever shared. Ghosts of private jokes forgotten. Ghosts of things that mean more to me then him. Ghosts of the blissful years of innocence and youth. Ghosts of love and hate and passion. The passion that takes time to build, then erupts into an explosion of fire.
They still haunt me, whispering into my ears at a single word. They come and go, leaving and then rushing back in for their sweet torture.
If I could wish for one thing, it would be so that they wouldn't leave. So that I could trick myself into letting my mind be soothed and my body be touched, touched almost as warmly as if it was real.
The ghosts of touch are the only things that will remain, because the real thing isn't to return.
EDIT: Oh, that reminds me, i should probably text him back.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2016 7:32:51 GMT -5
Wishes. We think of them as if they are things woven by the careful, precise hands of magic. They carry no pain - they fly free, like a feather free from the comfort of its masters body - flitting through the wind effortlessly, adventure awaiting it.
Wishes are always the most simplest of things, of course, things a small child would scribe on their birthday list, or a thing a daydreamer might conjure up within their vast, everlasting, beautiful mind.
But this isn't always what a wish is. Wishes can carry the most pain in the universe - they inflict the most aganizing grief in the world, one that comes tumbling down on your mind and makes a home there.
And I wish for you. Whenever my gentle flow of breath frees the final seeds from the dandelion, I close my eyes and wish for you. I wish for your spirit to come bounding down from the clouds above, content. I wish to just run into your arms and feel your warmth one last time. I wish for your kind, round eyes, the colours of melted chocolate dancing within them, to meet mine once again. I wish to play the games we always played when you were well, the carefree times of my young childhood which was spent with you. I wish to curl up beside you when I'm sad, when you were the only one who could comfort me. I wish to comfort you again, and tell you it's all gonna be alright, like I did as an innocent young child - when such a thing wasn't foolish. And you would listen, you would always listen. I wish to look behind me and see you walking at the pace you always walked, and I wish to wait for you to catch up for all eternity.
Because, when you walked out the door that final time, I didn't hold you in my arms one last time. Perhaps I didn't truly believe that this was your final walk. But I'm sorry. If I could turn back time I'd embrace you in my arms. I'd hug you so tightly, even though I know I'd never be able to hug you tight enough that you'd always stay with me. Because, you looked at me, and at everyone else, like I had strung the very stars up in the sky. You never hurt me, even if I hurt you. You always dealt with my anger like a quiet spirit, not reacting in a petrified, or aggressive way. And you were always there to forgive, and forget. This is something only very special companions can do.
I wish to see the kind angel, the happy and content one, waiting for me every sunrise.
Maybe this is greedy of me, to wish for so much. One person must only have three wishes, of course. But really, it's only one wish.
I just wish for you.
One final time.
And then, maybe, I can set you free.
(this was dedicated to my dog, Jade, who passed away in June 2014)
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Post by Mᴏᴏɴ - - on Dec 4, 2016 12:35:12 GMT -5
I don't know if we're going to cross paths again. And we probably never will. But hear me out before you say anything. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was trying to prove or say; ignoring you, looking on you with disdain, thinking biased thoughts of you.
I think we're both in the wrong... But this is really more my fault than it is yours. You spread untrue rumors about me. You told them we were dating. I looked down on you for that, and I still do. But I have no excuse, no reason to do that. Because I brought that on myself. Because I didn't politely turn you down sooner.
You didn't have many friends; not many liked you because they thought you were "weird". But I saw something in you no one else did. To me, you were so sweet, so intelligent, so creative... Overall, a lovely person. We did everything together. We were inseparable. But when it got to the point where you thought we were an item, that...confused me. I didn't have to accept that Valentine's Day card; I loved you, but not like that. I could've - no, I should've said that. I should've clarified sooner. But I went along with the affection and love, which was only platonic in my eyes. When you sent me that letter about your unrequited love, I felt terrible for rejecting you. But, somehow, my thoughts on you began to become more biased, more prejudiced. We had different views, and I don't know why I was so surprised. I turned away from you, angry.
I don't think we'll ever be friends again, never mind close ones. The damage I've done is too much to fix. I can't hold a grudge against you; if anything, I'm holding a grudge against myself. What's there to blame you for? So, all in all, I sincerely apologize for all I've done to hurt your feelings. But I'm afraid that I have to erase you from my memory. Because whenever I think back to the drama this has caused, I feel nothing but guilt, disdain, and regret.
And it hurts.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2016 13:15:17 GMT -5
You were my best friend for so long that I almost forgot a time before you. It's hard to not remember a time when you weren't there - I was twelve when we first met, after all, and those twelve years before you seemed so minuscule and small compared to the time spent with you. You thought you were so cool - doing everything you could to seem like you were different and special and amazing. You'd move when I spoke to you so I had to follow if I wanted to keep up the conversation. You'd compare me to your best friend and lie to me about the things she'd do so I'd do them to feel like I was your friend. If I got excited about something, you'd find a way to shut me down and come back with something even more exciting of your own, and I'd laugh and smile because why wouldn't I? You'd tell me all about your best friend, acting like you couldn't possibly have more than one, and I'd do almost anything to try and change your mind. I'd act like I hated my younger sister because you hated yours and it probably hurt her feelings, but I didn't care, because you didn't. You'd talk about all the guys you had crushes on and I'd smile even though it made me uncomfortable to talk about them, to the point I'd lie about finding guys attractive or having crushes on them because it made me feel better. I'd buy you drinks and ice cream because you didn't have the money, thinking that's what friends did, because it made you happier.
Your parents told you to stop reading Harry Potter and Percy Jackson and all those books we'd loved. We didn't mind - we could always talk about other things. But you'd keep bringing them up even though you knew you weren't supposed to, and then turn around and tell your mom that me and my sister had started it. Your parents took away everything you were 'obsessed' with, and you'd be told not to talk about those things, but it didn't stop you. When your mother told you not to talk to me - to us - anymore because we were a bad influence (because we had our own computers because we played video games because we watched pretty much anything we wanted because because because), when my sister lost her best friend because of your parents, neither of you told us the truth. You didn't tell us that you were sorry. You didn't tell us that you wished it was different. You could've - I would've. When we felt unwelcome at church because of you, when I dreaded every Sunday and Wednesday more than anything, when I lied about being sick so I maybe wouldn't have to go... it didn't matter. It just hurt.
We stopped attending church. I stopped spending time with you and your sister. I was depressed and angry and lashed out at my only remaining friend, my sister. I lashed out at everyone (which is funny because that's how I met one of my best friends and she's like a sister to me.) I stopped reading my Bible because it was a disgusting reminder. I stopped caring if I was alive to the point that had I died, I wouldn't have cared. I was in so much pain and you didn't know, and you probably didn't care - you still had friends, you still had a church to go to, you still had everything. I held a grudge, letting it fester inside of me, letting it tear me apart. Your parents changed their minds and let you read those books and watch those shows again. It didn't matter, though, because the damage was done and I never wanted to speak to you again except to let you know how much you'd hurt me.
We still haven't attended church regularly and it's been two years. I still haven't made friends outside of the Internet and it's been two years. When I told my mother about how you treated me before that, she told me that none of that was friendship, and I broke down, and it hurt worse than anything else. Now, every time I see you, it hurts - because we go to the same co-op and my sister is friends with you now. Every single time I see you, my chest closes up and it gets harder to breathe and I feel like I'm going to cry, and it's been two years, almost three, and I still haven't forgiven you for breaking my heart (because that's the only feeling I can equate this to.)
Or maybe I haven't forgiven myself.
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Transgender
crane
hroo hraa
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Post by crane on Dec 5, 2016 11:49:16 GMT -5
I miss you every day. It gets easier, slowly, with time. And yet I think of you. Every day. Always. You pervade my thoughts like a trauma, haunt my memories like a ghost. I tell myself that I'm a different person now, that you'd not want to know me even if you did decide to come back, but I know I'd leap at the chance to have what we had, like we had, that I'd throw everything away for that.
I don't even know what you are to me; whether I love you, whether I see you as a living reminder of my past. You shut me out, made it abundantly clear that you don't care about me anymore, but I still worry, Fin. I worry about you so much. About what you're doing to yourself, about whether people are treating you right. Your sadness used to be so obvious to me, and sometimes I feel such intense regret that I didn't reach out more, that I didn't try harder.
I remember resting my head on your shoulder and curling as close to you as I could, and I remember denying that I had any feelings for you. Feelings like that. You said you wished I was her, your girlfriend, and that she didn't treat you as well as I did. How was I supposed to take that?
I remember climbing the almond tree in my garden and trying to collect as many almonds as we could. We smashed them up, because they weren't any fun when we'd actually accomplished what we'd started out to do, and when you went home I wished you could have stayed longer.
I remember the last time I saw you, how I tried to talk to you. How I tried to be her, the me I used to be, and how I realised in those moments when you walked away from me and acted as though I meant nothing, that I wasn't her, and you didn't need her anymore, and neither did I. I needed to be him, and you needed to be this regeneration of the boy I knew, without me.
I still speak to your family, when I see them. I ask about you. I know you don't wonder about me, any more. I want to know whether you've even noticed my absence in your life, in your everyday routine. I hope you're happy, Fin. I hope you're so much happier than you used to be. Maybe one day, when you're ready, we can be friends again. Maybe you'll remember why you used to enjoy my company. Maybe you'll make me laugh like you used to, and I'll get to see your smile. I hope so. I miss you. |
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Post by John 3:16 on Dec 5, 2016 14:39:49 GMT -5
*insert literally all of the fanfiction i have ever written here*
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Post by John 3:16 on Dec 5, 2016 15:15:43 GMT -5
but i guess on a more serious note...
this isn't going to be as long as the others, but ****, I am worried for you. You are my best friend, and I love you so much, so it is understandable why I feel this much concern in this situation. I try and ask what's wrong, I express concern for your well being, you just smile and laugh it off, saying there's nothing wrong. But I've known you for so long I can tell when something is off. Please just tell me what is wrong, I care for you so much and I hate to see you this way. This... sad. Please, I can understand why you won't tell me but keeping it bottled up inside is not going to help.
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Post by ♥.•°Insanity°•.♥ on Dec 14, 2016 17:50:07 GMT -5
You hurt me to much. I have so much anger because of what you have done. You are so far away that I can't touch you but close enough to constantly invade my concious. You have beat me up, murdered my animals, ruined my life. I keep running yet your presence haunts me. You broke me like you wanted but you still persist on smashing me to dust. Just leave me alone! I have done nothing to you! And yet here I lay, as a victim, and you stand as victor. I'm the one to blame, you keep telling me and finally I began to believe in your twisted sense. I went along with your lies because fighting took to much energy. Energy I no longer had. You have defeated me. Are you proud of the obedience you have beat into me? Have you made the perfect example of your power? That all who opposes will be destroyed? Well look at me now. I have struggled but despite your cruel venom I still stand. I am still here. You have brought anger into my life where there was once love. I'm still disgusted by the memory of you comforting me. Saying it was alright and touching my shoulder with your vile hand. But I was young and naive and you used that to your advantage. I didn't know the face of my enemy. Through your vicious lessons I have learned who you are even if no one else sees it because you choose not to show it. While I am still trusting I am no longer naive to the danger of a stranger.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2016 17:54:45 GMT -5
You hurt me to much. I have so much anger because of what you have done. You are so far away that I can't touch you but close enough to constantly invade my concious. You have beat me up, murdered my animals, ruined my life. I keep running yet your presence haunts me. You broke me like you wanted but you still persist on smashing me to dust. Just leave me alone! I have done nothing to you! And yet here I lay, as a victim, and you stand as victor. I'm the one to blame, you keep telling me and finally I began to believe in your twisted sense. I went along with your lies because fighting took to much energy. Energy I no longer had. You have defeated me. Are you proud of the obedience you have beat into me? Have you made the perfect example of your power? That all who opposes will be destroyed? Well look at me now. I have struggled but despite your cruel venom I still stand. I am still here. You have brought anger into my life where there was once love. I'm still disgusted by the memory of you comforting me. Saying it was alright and touching my shoulder with your vile hand. But I was young and naive and you used that to your advantage. I didn't know the face of my enemy. Through your vicious lessons I have learned who you are even if no one else sees it because you choose not to show it. While I am still trusting I am no longer naive to the danger of a stranger. This makes me so sad, I'm sorry. Can I beat the crap out of them? What did they do if you don't mind me asking? |
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Post by ♥.•°Insanity°•.♥ on Dec 14, 2016 22:29:36 GMT -5
It's a really long complicated story. Basically there's this lady who runs the local animal shelter where I use to live and she came into my home and stole my animals. I was also beat up by a police officer and handcuffed because I 'assaulted' the officer (I'm a 15 yr old girl, 5'4, 125 pounds. Compared to a male police officer.) This lady kept our animals for a year because of 'abuse' yet 6 of my animals died in her care half a year later (and they were not old). One was actually my emotional support animal. This lady also had the nerve to come up to me and console me saying that everything was going to be just fine. At the moment I was unsure of who she was (eventually found out she was the one who organized the whole raid). We finally got our pets back after fighting a year for them. They were all very sick when they came home.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2016 22:34:23 GMT -5
Wow...that's...I'm not sure how to describe that
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Post by CreamCrow on Dec 19, 2016 22:52:16 GMT -5
I know we've been friends for a little over 3 years now, but gods you annoy me to hell. Just everything that has to do with you, You try to say I'm better at you with this and that and always say your ugly and a piece of shix. Yet you're the one with the top grades in classes and I'm not. Barely, you claim its because your parents force you and you had older siblings to help you. Unlike me, which means you are still better despite the circumstances. Did I mention how you actually have a boyfriend and I am most likely forever alone? You spend so much time with him and only when I brought that up you started thinking of me again. Sure, after a hell of a lot of bad relationships but still. Your more likely to end up with someone than I am so why bother with the crap of you're prettier than me or you're smarter than I am. Everything comes so easily to you and it pisses me off!
And the one time, the one time I beat you in something you shrugged it off! Drama class and I was the first person of the year to receive the highest grade and you said you were happy with me while a completely non caring look stayed on your face. Should I mention how you said to me, "Congrats, you beat me at something. When I wasn't trying," How much of a douche can you be to say that to me? I have stuck by your side for 3 years! Three years with you being depressing and forcing me to try and lift you up while I'm being brought down in the shadows! Our Spanish teacher thought I was your shadow and you simply say that isn't my fault. How uncaring can you be? After all the hard work I put into things for my best friend to not care.
I've learned from you to say nothing about me and how I'm doing at least. I do it all the time, try to keep the topic off of me since all you want to do is talk about yourself. Your books, your grades, your depression, your problems, your f---ing boyfriend for sake! Did you ever think about the fact I need to talk as well? No? I've figured, considering I have to keep quite about my ideas and problems as you talk about yours- only asking for an opinion about them. I've pretty much learned from you- the person who had nobody listen to them ever- that nobody does want to listen to me as well. Thanks so much.
You're such a liar too. A thief, a liar, you suck. I mean, you laugh whenever I talk about you stealing our Spanish teacher's pencils from class. The ones she can't afford to have anyone take, and you think its a joke. I can't bring myself to tell you its not funny. Nor can I tell our teacher about it because your her star student. And the lying. I don't know what's the truth anymore. From the time we met you've been lying to me. About so many things, and I have to constantly tell myself to try and trust you when things sound stupid as hell. Some of those lies could very well be the secrets you keep from everyone. The ones that cause you depression. I don't know what's real anymore and its scarred me just hearing about it! The one lie you told me that sounded like you were doing good wasn't even you!
Which leads me to your secrets. The ones you only bring up at a bad time or place. What group of five friends goes into a forest to kill themselves and not say goodbye to their other friend? Only for that friend to find them and bury their bodies by herself with no help. No contact from the police, claiming that they had nobody who loved them other than her. Saying that her love wasn't enough to keep them going when they had each other? It sounds stupid- and you bring them up only to make people depressed. And considering you do lie I have a hard time believing you.
Everything you do angers me, cause I doubt all of it. I cared for you greatly for a point in time but I had to force myself not to because you are such an awful person it's hard to believe. And you still think we are like sisters, like twins even. It's awful. And I can't put myself to tell you we really aren't when you are my only friend. And your the reason I have no other ones.
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Post by Dawnrose on Jan 5, 2017 21:06:28 GMT -5
(this is a really good writing prompt and i almost cried reading some of these. i guess i'll write my own now)
(i just wanted to point out that i am 13+ and im not in fifth grade this is just what the story is saying)
Gifted.
This word means so much to you, doesn't it?
I was entered into the advanced program in the first grade. I had gotten good grades for a long time. But, what's the use telling you that? You already know about it anyway, you're one of the staff members here.
Fourth grade.
Excitement would always rush over me whenever I finished a school year. Excitement would rush through me even more when it was the first day of the new grade. Learning new things was always fun to me. I was one of those kids who liked school. You've dealt with many naughty kids in the past. Every teacher has. I wasn't one of those kids. But, you've done some disgusting things to them.
Self control.
I heard that word from you a lot. You would constantly insult kids just for not performing up to your "expectations". Do you think gossiping about your own classroom and students to your co-workers is acceptable? Don't forget... her. My best friend throughout 4th grade. I had befriended her because she had so much in common with me. I remember when you threatened her. She CRIED. In front of the whole class. I was sitting across from her. In my mind, I had said, "I wish I could help you, but I can't."
Insults.
There was this one kid who you had judged because of how much they weighed. I don't have anything to say about this. You should already know how horrible, disgusting and cruel that is. I remember you talking about the class reading logs, and you said all of them were horrible. You said we had a choice to draw a picture based on the book or do a summary. You said the summaries seemed like something a first grader would write. You shouldn't even say that, since you're basically saying that first graders are horrible at writing. Then, you said that the drawings looked like they were done in 5 minutes with no effort. I looked at my reading log. I had thought differently before you said that. I thought my art was good, but I glanced at it again and realized it was gross. Those cats... I can't draw them good! The mountain, what even is that! I never drew for another reading log again.
Fifth grade.
Excitement would always rush over me whenever I finished a school year, just like I said before. But that wasn't just because I was excited to learn more next school year. It was because... I wouldn't miss you. You don't realize how horrible you have made me and my friends' lives. When I went to fifth grade, I was never confident about my work. I would remember those same words you said. My work would get stars, smiley faces, A's, but I would think in my head, F'S.
Thanks.
Why am I saying thanks? I just wanted to say thanks for ruining my school life. Gifted was an important word to you. Just because we landed in an advanced program, doesn't mean we don't feel stress. It doesn't mean we have any emotions... and it also doesn't mean we are mindless robots.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2017 11:44:54 GMT -5
I feel broken when I see you. You laugh and talk with people I used to know like nothing happened, but I know exactly what happened. You taught me how to be awesome like you, and I looked up to you. Then, you threw me away and ridiculed me into the only people I had left who were by my side. They think of me as invisible now. You tore apart my life piece by piece until no one was left and you could laugh in my face about it. Really? Is that friendship? I thought of you as a role model until you were done using me and I realized what this 'friendship' was all about. Don't act like you can just forget, and walk away when I call your name. Don't think that I forgot. I eventually almost did, but you came around again, practically but not literally knocking on my door. I thought, woah, maybe another chance to make friends with her. I was a nice person, and you took advantage of my motto that everyone deserves a second chance. When I was about to have a real boyfriend for once, you came into my life and embarrassed me to the extent that he ignored me and looked away when I talked to him, because he heard things, lies, from you about me. I didn't know.. Then, you began slowly breaking down the barriers that I had built during my time without you, and it was just like last time. Alone. No friends. Being laughed at and almost bullied by who I thought were my friends. Not anymore. Optimism doesn't even help anymore. I try so hard, but she is still there. Still haunting me like a ghost, and still in my school. I can never be truly happy again with her near me. Keep on spreading rumours, I'm already broken.
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Post by Brownie on Jan 6, 2017 18:34:42 GMT -5
To someone:
Sometimes, it hurts me to ignore you. At this point, it's better for both of us this way. Well, maybe not better, but easier. And your life is difficult enough as it is. I hate to bring you pain, and I know when I ignore you it hurts you, but talking to you only makes it worse. It hurts me that you can't even see that. I can feel your eyes on me, and I know you stare when I'm not looking. When will you ever learn that people are not as blind as you were? You don't even notice them talking behind your back. They were quiet at first, but now they can scream it and you still can't see. I hate it. I hate them, and I hate you, a little bit, for not being able to see them tear you apart. I've almost told you, you know, that they talk behind your back. But I know you're already dealing with too much, and that would only be one more thing you'd have to deal with. I don't want to cause you pain. I'm trying to make this easier, for you, yes, but for me too. I can admit that my reasons are selfish. I hate seeing you hurt. I want to protect you, even when you don't even know there's a problem. I'm your shield from reality, hit with a sword once too many times. Every day I walk a shield, weakened already from taking too many hits and deflecting so much hate that I'm afraid that one day I'll break. I don't care about me, I care about you. Who's there to be your shield once I'm gone? Was I wrong? Should I have shown you the hate, and instead of shielding you from it, took your hand and made you stronger? But I really didn't have that option. You're already taking too many hits, much of the pain you suffer caused by your own doubts and hatred. I can't protect you from this hate when the hate is coming from you. I can't protect you from yourself. What should I do? It hurts me to ignore you, but I do. It's better for both of us this way. Easier. I am your shield, but I can't talk to you and block the hate. I can see you looking at me when you don't think I'm looking. You don't think I'm looking because you think I don't care. But I care too much, and that's why I'm not looking. I ignore you because I care about you. I know ignoring you is painful too, for both of us, but can't you see I'm here for you? Can't you see what I've given up to be your shield? Sometimes, I think you hate me. Just for a second, a glimpse, a word. Stop chasing after me. I can see it in your eyes, your words, the way you stand both too close and too far at once. Please stop chasing me, it only makes it hurt more. I have to ignore you to protect you, to keep you from that hate. I'm your shield, but I can't stop you from hurting yourself. I can't do that, but I can stop them from hurting you. It's the best I can do, and I do it because I care. Please stop chasing me. It hurts me to ignore you, all I want to do is stop the pain.
To someone else:
Honestly, I miss you. I'm sorry I couldn't do better, but I'm not ready, and I think you understand deep down, even if you don't want to. I didn't want to stress you out or bring you down. I'm pretty sure I was the only good friend you had, so it hurts me to do this to you. But I do want you to know that I'll always be here for you, no matter what, and that you can tell me whatever's on your mind. You can tell me what's bothering you when you're ready to put it into words. I'm pretty sure you didn't tell me because you thought I would care too much and try and help. You never liked charity; you had to work for everything you got. Not many people have that sort of pride these days, and that was why I respected you so much. You never let me down, you were my shoulder to cry on. I only wish you trusted me to do the same, that's all. I know you're hiding something, that there's something wrong, and you don't want to burden me with it. But this tension is a burden in and of itself, and I wish deep down you'd just tell me what's wrong. I promise I wouldn't interfere if you don't want me to, but I want you to feel like you can tell me anything. I want you to trust me the way I already trust you. Maybe you're not ready. I just want you to know that I'm here, and that I'll always be here. Whenever you're ready. Miss you.
//deepbreaths.
It was supposed to be short, but now it's just repetitive eek
but I needed this, thank you.
Now some short ones for happy memories.
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Thank you for showing that anime was not just for weirdos. But darn it I spent more money on tissues this last month than I have in the last two years!
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I was surprised you even remembered me. I only talked to you twice, and yet you called me by name with a smile on your face. It means a lot to be remembered, and I'll never forget that moment or your smile. You showed me that anyone can reach out, anyone could share their happiness, and how much it means when someone does so. You made me brave enough to do the same, and I'll never, ever, forget that. Thank you.
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Honestly, if someone asked me right now who's the person I'd go out with I'd have to admit that it's you. I wouldn't have the guts to tell anyone that though! I don't even know you that well at all. I don't know if you have siblings or pets, or even your favorite show. But I can see how you interact with other people: you're always optimistic and smiling. You talk to anyone, regardless of what they're like or what other people will say. You give people a chance and your ear. You make their ideas feel worthwhile, no matter how silly, and are always willing to give people a hand. I know you have another side: you defend your friends, you can't stand people who make others feel down. You're adorable when you're angry, though I wouldn't tell you that either. I only smile and look away. You're an amazing person, and I'm glad to just be around you. Keep being that way, okay?
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You called me your favorite. I've never been a favorite before. It made my day then and it still makes my day now. You just threw some words out there, but they mean a lot to me, even after months and years. Thanks.
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I've looked up to you for years now. It's the one thing that made me keep writing. I wanted to be like you. I wanted you to notice me. Just once, I wanted you to look and me, smile, and treat me like an equal. I wanted that so badly. Years and years I spent trapped in your shadow, always a step or two behind. Not once did you notice me. But I didn't give up. I just had to do better, keep writing. Eventually I'd be your equal, right? One day you would glance behind you, see me walking behind, and hold out your hand to pull me to the top with you. That day has never come. But I'm not disappointed. I didn't realize it, but by keeping in your shadow I was climbing myself. Higher than I could have if you'd let me stand beside you from the start. I had kept my eyes to the ground and didn't even notice how far I had come until finally, finally, I had looked up and saw you had been watching me the whole time. I'm still behind you, but that's really where I belong. So please, keep climbing for me. Let me have a shadow to follow. I don't mind that you'd get to the top before me, just make sure to wait for me there, because one day you'll look down and I won't be there anymore. You'll be surprised, and I'll laugh because I'd made it to the top already and brought you your coffee. Then we can look down that mountain together and see how far we'd come, and only then will I actually deserve to look you in the eye and call you my hero.
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Post by we're-broken-people on Jan 6, 2017 20:46:24 GMT -5
new here, terrible writer, deal with it.  I love you. I really, really do. You don't know it, but I feel like if I told you, you'd not be too surprised. But I'll never make the same mistake as before by telling you how I feel, because I know you don't feel the same. I know you love her, but you don't know she doesn't love you back. I wish I could tell both of us to move on, and I know it would be so much better that way. But I know that I'll never stop loving you, and trying to stop is a waste of my time. I wish I were brave enough to tell you all this face-to-face. I really want to tell you how I love your laugh and your smile, and talking to you makes me want to vomit with happiness. I know I act awkwardly whenever I see you, so please don't hold that against me. Be flattered. Because I really, really care about you. I may say I hate you, but we both know I don't mean it. I tease you because I love you. The best part of my day is being able to see you, to talk to you. But all the time I think about what I did wrong when I saw you last, and how it doesn't matter, because you will never, ever feel the same about me. I just want you to know that I care about you. I love all of your beauty, and all of your imperfections. You truly mean the world to me. I love you so much. But even if you stopped loving her, you could never love me. Because she's perfect, and I'm definitely not. And someone who can love a girl like her can never love a girl like me. |
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Post by we're-broken-people on Jan 6, 2017 20:56:38 GMT -5
ugh i kinda want to make another one
(for several people)
I love you all so much. You are amazing, gorgeous, and talented people. Sometimes you can really lift me up, and distract me from the pain. But other times, you cause it. I can't leave you because without you, I'd have no one. And most of me still trusts and loves you. But sometimes, I feel really alone, and I need your distraction. But you're never around, which I know isn't your fault, but a part of me always wonders if you're avoiding me.
Sometimes, you'll play jokes. You'll run away when I tell you to wait, or you'll try and ignore me. Isolate me. You'll oppose my beliefs, and get mad and defensive when I try to argue with yours. I'll tell you my deepest secret, but I know you don't understand. I always wonder if you don't care. You'll make fun of me sometimes, too. You'll insult the things I love. Sometimes, I'll defend them. Others, I'll try and pretend like I never cared about them. I hate hiding from the things, and people, I love. You'll make fun of my insecurities, too, and I try to laugh it off or agree, but I come home at night, and not just because of you, I cry myself to sleep. I truly can't remember a day that has passed in which I didn't cry.
I know this is just my anxiety talking, though. I'm overly sensitive. I dwell on the past much longer than I think is healthy. So even if you were doing nothing wrong, I still need you to be here, to talk to me, and to make me feel like I have someone to trust, and to make me feel safe.
This year, when I finally felt like I had people I was close to and could lean on, my doubts about you guys not caring about me at all grew bigger. I'm always the person who invites you to hang out, always the person to text first. I feel like you guys don't even care about me. I love you so much, but please, just notice me. Help me.
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