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Post by Haleigh on Oct 19, 2016 19:52:27 GMT -5
This might turn into a vent.
A little while ago, I messaged a special someone an honest little speech saying how I'm very grateful for them talking to me even when they don't know me very well. They thanked me and told me that I was the nicest person they had ever met (????). So yesterday, during a class that we're both in, I broke down. I think I may have gotten triggered, I started to cry, got a slight panic attack, and had to leave. I found a somewhat empty place (outside) and just heaved and sobbed for five minutes, which was not enough time. Talked to counsellors (my favourite thing to do) about how I don't take meds for my depression, blah blah blah. Note that the class was silent while I left. I'm pretty sure most people saw what was going on. But this person who called me nice hasn't said a word about it to me. And part of me wants them to care. Is this a selfish thing? To want attention from someone who clearly has other friends and activities to take priority in?
(yay I'm getting triggered again. Time to start shaking and being nervous and also message the very same person I talked about because that's a good idea).
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Post by tiger beetle on Oct 19, 2016 19:58:25 GMT -5
no, I don't think that it's selfish--but I also want to say that some selfishness is not a bad thing; looking out for yourself is important, and as long as you are not "trampling" over others, it is okay to allow yourself to be selfish sometimes
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Post by Haleigh on Oct 19, 2016 19:59:54 GMT -5
SO I'M TALKING WITH THIS PERSON
AMD I THINK I'M CLOSE TO TELLING THEM WHAT HAPPENED
ITS TIME GUYS
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Post by Haleigh on Oct 19, 2016 20:01:27 GMT -5
Yep Definitely triggered.
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Post by Haleigh on Oct 19, 2016 20:06:10 GMT -5
I'm scared I'm scared I'm so scraed
He seems to care but I don't know
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Post by Haleigh on Oct 19, 2016 20:07:08 GMT -5
did he get called why did he leave please don't leave I need you here please come back why aren't you online
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Post by Haleigh on Oct 19, 2016 20:08:08 GMT -5
I haven't told him yet I just brought up what happened yesterday he said he noticed it and then he left he needs to come back I'm so scared I'm so scared guys I don't know please he needs to come back
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Post by Haleigh on Oct 19, 2016 20:09:14 GMT -5
He left he's not online he gone why is he gone he needs t be back online I need him to what do I do I'm spamming I'm so sorry I
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Post by Haleigh on Oct 19, 2016 20:13:59 GMT -5
He's probably having dinner it's 6:13 pm where I am he doesn't hate me he doesn't hate me he doesn't hate me he doesn't hate me
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Post by tiger beetle on Oct 19, 2016 20:18:48 GMT -5
oh I'm sorry about him having to leave but he doesn't hate you…I know it isn't as simple as not worrying but it isn't something that needs to be worried about…he doesn't hate you
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Post by Haleigh on Oct 19, 2016 20:23:26 GMT -5
He's back and he says that I'm not in a state to talk right now. He said I was stressed, which isn't the whole picture, but I'm grateful. I don't know how I can calm down. I think I'll start with focusing on my senses. That's what Google says.
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Post by tiger beetle on Oct 19, 2016 20:31:50 GMT -5
senses can be a good place to start, yeah
I wish I could do more for you but I'm not the best at this kind of thing
I hope you feel better soon and also that you get to talk to him again soon
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