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Post by greene on Oct 14, 2016 23:34:01 GMT -5
k so this is gonna be a sort of mumbly rambly type of deal bc i'm too lazy to write it all down in my book like i should so (i don't expect this post to get much traction anyway lmao i'm p much just talking to myself)
my friend (N)'s dad died today. i never met him because N's parents are divorced and the only things i've ever heard about him are that he was a really difficult man to get along with, generally very irritable and unreasonable and just not that friendly. he was an older man with brain cancer which he's had for as long as i've known N (2+ years, i believe??) and he just died this morning.
idk. i don't want to take it personally or anything but i'm not great at dealing with the kind of grief that comes from losing someone you were supposed to be really close to but didn't really like. & N is the type of kid who'll probably come back into school on Monday and almost act like nothing happened, but i guess it kinda... scares me. bc what if they don't, yknow ?? what if they change a lot for some reason and i don't know how to handle it?
i'm fairly protective and affectionate towards my friends so it bothers me that i don't know exactly how to deal w this i guess. and the fact that i got a kinda "bad" feeling the last time i saw them, although that doesn't really have to do w anything.
also it freaks me out that one of my friends could lose a parent so early in life. this kid is only 17 and they've already lost their dad? that's sick. nobody should have to deal with that.
anyway i really want to go back to school on Monday to deal w this situation bc i want to see them but at the same time i'm lowkey terrified of what's going to happen after this.
it aint right man
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Post by Sanders on Oct 14, 2016 23:43:41 GMT -5
I've had three friends in my life who have all lost their fathers, which my girlfriend is included in that.
One of my friends wasn't very attached to her father and honestly she got over it p quickly. I think that if she does change you really just have to be there if she needs you. However if she wasn't that attached then it might not be a big deal and life will move on as normal.
And tbh in the future she might not even care. My gf lost her dad when she was 8 and she's 18 now so like she honestly brings it up so casually. She's like oh yeah btw my dad is dead lol. And honestly comments and jokes abt it do not bother her at all.
So like idk people handle things differently. You just gotta be a friend
Edit: I used she in my second paragraph when I should've used they because I projected. My bad. And it's hard to change on mobile so excuse my pronoun misuse
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Post by greene on Oct 14, 2016 23:51:37 GMT -5
*he actually but i didn't rly specify that my bad lol
but yeah he actually brought it up really casually when i asked him why he wasn't here today. he said something like "oh sh/t i forgot to tell you my dad died this morning" and i had the "?1?!1!??!!!" feeling & then did the whole "hru doing" spiel and he was like "i'm relieved he's not in pain anymore" and all that.
idk i think it's just kinda weird for me bc i literally don't think i'd ever be the same if i lost one of my parents and it's a constant, horrible fear of mine. i can understand why he feels the way he does knowing abt the relationship he had w his father but i just don't...... feel it, if that makes any sense.
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Post by Sanders on Oct 15, 2016 0:00:36 GMT -5
Yeah no understand. Like I don't have a gr8 relationship with my parents but I also don't know what I would do if they were gone like I'd probably be pretty broken up about it.
But idk. If he is grieving it might be easier for him to be pretty chill with it.
My best advice would be to maybe avoid the subject right now and just kind of let things go on as usual? But idk rlly
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