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Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2016 16:55:31 GMT -5
so im going to my grans funeral on the 28th and ive never been to a funeral before
yes im 14 and have never been to a funeral before
ive had family members that have passed away but either the funeral has been too far away or my parents won't let me go bc apparently it's too sad but this time they are letting me go bc the person is close family member.
idk i just need help like what happens does everyone cry like the tv shows or what i don't like to sound rude but im the sort of person that gets soooo awkward around that sort of atmosphere. of course id be sad bc currently i am missing my grandma very much, but i wouldn't cry bc i never cry in public situations & it just seems awkward to me idk and im worried about my sister bc even tho shes 10 not 5 she has the tendency to joke around and play up when she gets bored & i know my grandma wouldn't mind that at her funeral but idk how everyone else would take it
and just why do we need to wear such dark sad clothing would my grandma even want this?? at my funeral i certainly don't want everyone sobbing and wearing depressing clothes, but apparently that's the arrangement
i guess im overthinking this ive just never been to a funeral before and im kinda nervous about what to expect?? i just wish this was a wedding bc guess what ive never been to one of those either
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Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2016 17:08:25 GMT -5
I've been to a couple funerals, but disclaimer that they were several years ago and for family members that I never knew personally. Don't worry, it's not as dramatic as you think--it's not all everyone sitting around sobbing or anything. Obviously everyone is subdued and sad because they're mourning, but you probably won't be expected to make a big show of it. I was able to just tag along and sort of be in the background most of the time. Relatives can even chat quite genially at appropriate times.
As for your sister, there will probably be some people who see that behavior as disrespectful (just going off of what I know of humans), so if you can convey to her to be as quiet about it as possible that would probably be a good idea. Funerals can get pretty boring, I'm not even gonna lie, but you still want to seem as respectful as possible.
Why do we need the dark clothing tbh--one of my funerals was in Arizona in the summer and I was in all black and I was just sweating and suffering the whole outdoor service
But yeah--being nervous is totally understandable. Just stick with your family, follow their lead, and stay quiet and respectful and it will all be fine. If you're not speaking or expected to do anything, you don't have to put yourself in any spotlight. You're there to pay homage to your grandmother, and people shouldn't be expecting anything different. If you have any more specific questions, I'll try to answer them.
weddings are more fun pssh
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Post by Suspicious Toast on Oct 11, 2016 17:13:31 GMT -5
It isn't really like in the movies. Everybody is solemn and sometimes people will cry but most people just sit through it grieving or if they didn't know the person just being polite and quiet.
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Post by Felix on Oct 11, 2016 17:13:40 GMT -5
I've been to two funerals. On both occasions it went: go there, celebrate the life, eat biscuits (cookies, for Americans).
Go with what feels comfortable. Don't cry if you don't want to.
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Post by Bᴜᴍʙʟᴇʙᴇᴇ on Oct 11, 2016 22:04:36 GMT -5
The last funeral I went to was actually this past few months for my grandfather, and from my experience I can give to you that some people will cry. Some won't. It's just a very different feeling then what TV shows or movies give off. You won't know if you will cry or not, you might cry later or right before but it depends really. There are gonna be a mix of emotions. And everyone doesn't really wear all black, some people wear dark colors or just formal attire.
And the only wedding I went to, we made sand castles and ate cupcakes with seashells which then on the ride home fell on my shirt so I smelled like a cupcake. I thought it would cheer you up cupcakes are fun and so are sand castles but just nevermind
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Post by cal ✩ on Oct 11, 2016 22:08:31 GMT -5
I have went to three funerals and I cried a little at two maybe? Like I cried when they closed my grandpa's casket and took him away. And cried a lot at my uncle's because he was only 43. By no means do you have to cry though. ANYWAYS. Most of the time I avoided the adults and drank hot chocolate in the basement and watched the younger members of the family play (like 4-ish year old cousins).
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2016 16:34:19 GMT -5
thanks guys i guess it's not as dramatic as i thought then lol
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2016 16:42:02 GMT -5
I've been to both my grandmothers funerals, and my grandpaps funeral as well. They were the closest family that I had, but I've been to plenty others. I usually sat in the next room, but I didn't cry. I don't cry at funerals often. IN fact, I usually sat in the next room playing my 3DS or listening to music (With headphones) to try distracting myself. I have a phobia of being around dead bodies so everyone understood (It was actually my mom's idea to bring my games and stuff to do) but when people came up to talk to me, whether it's asking how I am, or wanting to talk about the person who died, I always responded. I would pay my respects, of course, and go up to the casket and mingle with the fellow grievers to see if everyone was okay. But for the most part I either kept to myself, or just stayed around a friend who came with me to keep me company.
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