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Post by tiger beetle on Oct 10, 2016 20:43:12 GMT -5
okay so I have a friend who I'm really worried about and a lot of her friends are…not great but I get that she still needs them and all so I try to just be supportive and not say anything about them
but the other night we were out playing Pokémon and she mentioned something rude her best friend had said and I accidentally started on a rant about that friend
and I stopped myself after probably 30 seconds but the damage was already done! I was talking so fast and said so many words…
I really don't want to distance her from her other friends or make her spend too much time with me or anything and I'm worried that I'm doing that especially now that I've actively complained about her best friend…
I can't fix that moment but does anyone have any ideas for anything I could do to at least be better in the future…? I want her to be okay
edit: by rant I mean it was a serious rant and I know I don't have to like her friends and she already knew I didn't like her other friend but it was bad like I said things like "horrible person" and "has no respect for you" in that long string of words…
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Post by sunni on Oct 10, 2016 21:03:32 GMT -5
A really cool thing that comes with friendship, is that you don't have to like each other's friends. My boyfriend and I really dislike a girl who is friends with one of our best friends. Our best friend knows of our dislike and everything is A-ok. Because we don't ask him to not hang out with her. And he doesn't ask us to like her. Maybe at some point just have an honest talk with your friend, and tell her that even though you don't like her friend, that it doesn't mean she should stop hanging out with her. It's her life, and you both have a right to like or dislike whoever you want
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Post by tiger beetle on Oct 10, 2016 21:05:57 GMT -5
A really cool thing that comes with friendship, is that you don't have to like each other's friends. My boyfriend and I really dislike a girl who is friends with one of our best friends. Our best friend knows of our dislike and everything is A-ok. Because we don't ask him to not hang out with her. And he doesn't ask us to like her. Maybe at some point just have an honest talk with your friend, and tell her that even though you don't like her friend, that it doesn't mean she should stop hanging out with her. It's her life, and you both have a right to like or dislike whoever you want no no I know that not liking each other's friends is okay…I don't like most of her friends and she doesn't like my old friend it's been common knowledge since day one that Best Friend and I don't like each other and that the politeness between us is full of tension but there's a difference between "she gets on my nerves" and a full on rant about how she's a horrible person with no respect for her and everything she says is a self-righteous attempt to be the purest…
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2016 21:06:51 GMT -5
i know it's like over used and whatever but open communication is almost always the answer. sit her down specifically with airing everything out as your goal, and talk it out. mention your concerns but be extremely overt in your knowledge that she still needs those friends so there's no miscommunication and less of a chance of hurt feelings and anger. make sure you use those famous "i" statements elementary schools talk about be as non-confrontational as possible, just explain why you act how you do sometimes.
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Post by tiger beetle on Oct 10, 2016 21:09:31 GMT -5
i know it's like over used and whatever but open communication is almost always the answer. sit her down specifically with airing everything out as your goal, and talk it out. mention your concerns but be extremely overt in your knowledge that she still needs those friends so there's no miscommunication and less of a chance of hurt feelings and anger. make sure you use those famous "i" statements elementary schools talk about be as non-confrontational as possible, just explain why you act how you do sometimes. I did try to do that and she just said it was okay and I was her number one anyway which is not good because all I did was insult her friend but I can try again and do it better next time thank you
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