People excuse Dustpelt's behavior, but not Millie's?

I'm sorry but lol...Birchfall is a SENIOR warrior, with his own family and kits even, what kind of an example was he setting to be so easily swayed by the Dark Forest??? He of all cats should have known being there was wrong, compared to younger, newer warriors, that were more inexperienced. Imo it made no sense for Birchfall or Thornclaw to be part of the trainee's group. And I find Dustpelt's actions to be understandable, he thought he raised a noble son, but then turned and blamed him for Ferncloud's death. You also have to keep in mind, Dustpelt is old as heck, I'm not surprised if he started losing his screws at this point due to age. Millie on the other hand treated Blossomfall in a way that wasn't deserved, before they even found out she was a DF trainee. Millie treated her the way she did because of Briarlight, while Dustpelt rejected Birchfall because of him training with the Dark Forest. There's a good difference between both these cases.

Dustpelt went through a lot, I think he was the one with Ferncloud who lost two kits before leaving on the great journey? Wasn't Birchfall the last of that litter? I would guess that seeing the only surviving cat from that litter turn into a trainee of the dark forest would make one feel betrayed.

I'm neutral on the two situations. I honestly don't blame either cat for their behavior, but I don't think they were completely right either.

Dustpelt lost almost his entire family up to that point and was also an old cat. Not only did his mate die, but several other cats as well, including Firestar. And surely he told his kits stories of cats like Tigerstar or Brokenstar, so this wouldn't make things any better either since Birchfall (and several other of the Dark Forest trainees for that matter) should've known better.

With Millie, I never really agreed with her parenting. She was overprotective of her kits even before the Briarlight incident, as evidenced when she argued with Squirrelflight after the latter scolded Blossompaw for climbing the Great Oak. That being said however, again, I don't blame her. Briarlight herself nearly died twice as a kit after all, so when she became paralyzed, this clearly caused her to snap. Briarlight nearly dying again five more times (one of which Millie never knew of) and then switching between being optimistic and depressed to the point where she refused to eat couldn't have helped either.

Personally I don't think she neglected Blossomfall, despite what Vicky said. And yes, I am perfectly aware that there are other types of abuse and that neglect is one of them. Honestly, I think this is because Blossomfall was almost a warrior able to take care of herself by the time Briarlight became injured, and cats are considered adults once they become warriors. This issue only being brought up for one book also makes me slightly skeptical on whether Blossomfall was really being neglected by her mother or just wasn't used to the attention Millie was giving Briarlight, since it's clear that she and her littermates were pretty spoiled by her and her behavior as an apprentice wasn't exactly pleasant, either.

I can see where the argument comes into play though, and as I've said, I never really thought Millie was that great of a mother anyway, nor am I saying that adults don't need their parents anymore. I just don't think she's one of the worst ones. However, this doesn't make Blossomfall completely innocent, either and though Vicky said that the two cats have made amends long ago, I really hope we actually get to see this on paper, like in a novella or something.

Point is, I don't think either cat was necessarily right for what they did to their kits and vice versa, but I don't think they were completely unjustified either, if that makes sense.