Gotta go my own way. (Updated!)
Sept 25, 2016 14:26:55 GMT -5
via mobile
feign, Sand 🎃, and 7 more like this
Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2016 14:26:55 GMT -5
UPDATE: This is an old post that I went back on, and I'm bumping it up because I liked many of my old thoughts, since they still apply. For my post specifically about this time around, you gotta scroll a bit, sorry.
Raise your hand if you saw this coming.
Anyway, yeah, I'm leaving. It's kind of a culmination of a lot of factors - the rampant homophobia, the irresponsibility certain mods and admins have displayed lately, the fact that many of the people I actually like on this site are leaving anyway - but the biggest reason is that this place just doesn't make me happy. It never has. I got roped back in when the real forums shut down, but I was doing great without them in my life, and I ended up staying out of some weird obligation. I'm not saying nothing good came out of this, because I reconnected with some old friends, and I met some cool new people, but I also spent a lot of time feeling frustrated and defensive.
And I'm just looking at my life, and the way that the WCF fits into it, and I'm realizing that I don't want this. The forums were an embarrassing, quirky part of my past, but I genuinely don't want them to be my present. It absolutely made sense for me to be here when I was eleven years old and kind of lost, kind of lonely, but now I'm a senior in high school. I have so much going for me - amazing friends, good grades, a bright future waiting for me in the kind of near distance, and that's... terrifying and exciting and where my focus should be right now. This is cheesy, but I want to actually feel present in my last year of high school, like I'm giving everything my all and treasuring my friends while they're still close and listening to my teachers while they're still mine. I don't want to be zoning out because I'm thinking about cat forum discourse. Deep down, I know I'm going to look back every second of my life right now that I'm not focused on living it and regret it. I'm never going to get to redo these moments, so my only choice is to do them right while they're happening, and this place just isn't right for me.
So yeah, I'm out. Maybe you'll see me again, if one of my friends who's staying gets into some Discourse™ and needs backup, but if not, here are my goodbyes:
To my forum friends, it's not like we're never going to see each other again, because we're talking offsite as I write this, so it's all good. But just so you know, I'm glad we all got to meet (or meet again, in some cases), and if anything good came out of this hell site, it's you.
To the all LGBT forumers, I love you guys. I hope that this site starts treating you right someday, because each and every one of you deserves the universe. I'm sorry that the world is so awful. I wish I could fix it for us.
To Sandclaw, thanks for listening to our concerns. You've been a real help in a turbulent WCF time, and I wish you the best of luck for however long this lasts for you. To the mods and admins in general, if you want to save this site, you have a lot of work cut out for you, and I think it's time to start making some serious changes, whatever those may be.
To the people who "disagree" with LGBT people, you don't "disagree" with us on some quirky issue like which cereal brand tastes the best. This is not a lighthearted debate over which children's show was the best or whether or not that Seven Years song is overplayed. You disagree with us on our right to exist happily and safely as LGBT individuals - and not just that, but specifically as individuals who act on our "desires" or whatever, who do things like enter relationships and talk about crushes and undergo gender transition. That's unforgivable to me. Telling me you think I should be allowed to exist only if I stifle my attraction to girls and renounce my community is absolutely always hateful, even if it gets covered with a quick, "Well, I won't tell you what to do! You can do whatever you want." I don't care about what I "can" do, because I see what you want from me and every other LGBT person out there: for us to be meek and quiet, ashamed and unwilling to speak out about our struggles. You can deny it all you want, but I've met ten thousand of you, and you're all the same to me. It was a good effort, but you're never going to get the quiet and complacent version of me, and no matter what everyone tries to pretend, I know that there are people out there who see you as you are. And, by the way, I want you to know that your homophobic way of life is going to die. Not today, not tomorrow, maybe not in a hundred years, but someday, you're going to be the villains in our history books, and if you can still look yourself in the eyes knowing that? I guess that's on you.
To the other miscellaneous people I don't like: I'm not naming names, because I want this thread to stay up, but you know who you are. I'm glad I'm done with you. You guys are messy, and you've got some serious growing up to do. Have fun with that.
In general, to the kids on these forums, watch out, because there are some shady people on this site. Not naming names, but they know who they are. Keep your eyes open. This place is toxic, and people may seem "nice," but there's some not nice stuff lurking under the surface, and there are several liars hanging around.
And finally, to everyone who's ever liked my posts, thanks for supporting my Content™. It was appreciated.
Raise your hand if you saw this coming.
Anyway, yeah, I'm leaving. It's kind of a culmination of a lot of factors - the rampant homophobia, the irresponsibility certain mods and admins have displayed lately, the fact that many of the people I actually like on this site are leaving anyway - but the biggest reason is that this place just doesn't make me happy. It never has. I got roped back in when the real forums shut down, but I was doing great without them in my life, and I ended up staying out of some weird obligation. I'm not saying nothing good came out of this, because I reconnected with some old friends, and I met some cool new people, but I also spent a lot of time feeling frustrated and defensive.
And I'm just looking at my life, and the way that the WCF fits into it, and I'm realizing that I don't want this. The forums were an embarrassing, quirky part of my past, but I genuinely don't want them to be my present. It absolutely made sense for me to be here when I was eleven years old and kind of lost, kind of lonely, but now I'm a senior in high school. I have so much going for me - amazing friends, good grades, a bright future waiting for me in the kind of near distance, and that's... terrifying and exciting and where my focus should be right now. This is cheesy, but I want to actually feel present in my last year of high school, like I'm giving everything my all and treasuring my friends while they're still close and listening to my teachers while they're still mine. I don't want to be zoning out because I'm thinking about cat forum discourse. Deep down, I know I'm going to look back every second of my life right now that I'm not focused on living it and regret it. I'm never going to get to redo these moments, so my only choice is to do them right while they're happening, and this place just isn't right for me.
So yeah, I'm out. Maybe you'll see me again, if one of my friends who's staying gets into some Discourse™ and needs backup, but if not, here are my goodbyes:
To my forum friends, it's not like we're never going to see each other again, because we're talking offsite as I write this, so it's all good. But just so you know, I'm glad we all got to meet (or meet again, in some cases), and if anything good came out of this hell site, it's you.
To the all LGBT forumers, I love you guys. I hope that this site starts treating you right someday, because each and every one of you deserves the universe. I'm sorry that the world is so awful. I wish I could fix it for us.
To Sandclaw, thanks for listening to our concerns. You've been a real help in a turbulent WCF time, and I wish you the best of luck for however long this lasts for you. To the mods and admins in general, if you want to save this site, you have a lot of work cut out for you, and I think it's time to start making some serious changes, whatever those may be.
To the people who "disagree" with LGBT people, you don't "disagree" with us on some quirky issue like which cereal brand tastes the best. This is not a lighthearted debate over which children's show was the best or whether or not that Seven Years song is overplayed. You disagree with us on our right to exist happily and safely as LGBT individuals - and not just that, but specifically as individuals who act on our "desires" or whatever, who do things like enter relationships and talk about crushes and undergo gender transition. That's unforgivable to me. Telling me you think I should be allowed to exist only if I stifle my attraction to girls and renounce my community is absolutely always hateful, even if it gets covered with a quick, "Well, I won't tell you what to do! You can do whatever you want." I don't care about what I "can" do, because I see what you want from me and every other LGBT person out there: for us to be meek and quiet, ashamed and unwilling to speak out about our struggles. You can deny it all you want, but I've met ten thousand of you, and you're all the same to me. It was a good effort, but you're never going to get the quiet and complacent version of me, and no matter what everyone tries to pretend, I know that there are people out there who see you as you are. And, by the way, I want you to know that your homophobic way of life is going to die. Not today, not tomorrow, maybe not in a hundred years, but someday, you're going to be the villains in our history books, and if you can still look yourself in the eyes knowing that? I guess that's on you.
To the other miscellaneous people I don't like: I'm not naming names, because I want this thread to stay up, but you know who you are. I'm glad I'm done with you. You guys are messy, and you've got some serious growing up to do. Have fun with that.
In general, to the kids on these forums, watch out, because there are some shady people on this site. Not naming names, but they know who they are. Keep your eyes open. This place is toxic, and people may seem "nice," but there's some not nice stuff lurking under the surface, and there are several liars hanging around.
And finally, to everyone who's ever liked my posts, thanks for supporting my Content™. It was appreciated.