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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Apr 11, 2024 11:50:31 GMT -5
What do you mean by “awhile”? A few weeks, months, a year?
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Pixie
2024 is already bad; 2025 will be my year fr
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Post by Pixie on Apr 11, 2024 13:23:46 GMT -5
What do you mean by “awhile”? A few weeks, months, a year? I’d say several months to a year.
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Post by {Azure} on Apr 11, 2024 13:31:12 GMT -5
yes yes yes (insert 20 more times)
1.5 years and counting
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Apr 11, 2024 14:09:46 GMT -5
What do you mean by “awhile”? A few weeks, months, a year? I’d say several months to a year. Not to give a cop-out answer, but I think it honestly depends for me on what our relationship is like. I have some friends who I can go without talking to for over a year, but when we get back together we can pick up right where we left off as if no time has passed. Those for sure I’d still consider friends. With other people, we stopped talking because we were just naturally growing apart, and I lose the desire to reconnect. There’s just not really much of a relationship there anymore. In those cases, I’d probably stop thinking of them as a friend, but might refer to them as an “old friend” in conversation.
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 11, 2024 15:17:03 GMT -5
I still think of people as friends even if they have deliberately cut me out of their lives tbh. That door is always open and I don't have friendship degrade. If i cared about you once, I care about you forever. Regardless of if our interests part ways I'd still drop everything to help them if they called.
Edit: though I'd also like to add this doesn't mean I have no boundaries. There are some people I may care deeply for that I'd still say no to because the best help I can give is simply resources for them to help themselves and I am not going to let myself be used for a long time with nothing in return. My giving stops at a point where I know they are takers who continue to sit in victimhood rather than claw their way out of it. Or if they deliberately mistreat me or other people I love.
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Post by ☆*:.。. Rain .。.:*☆ on Apr 11, 2024 15:59:35 GMT -5
I hadn’t spoken to my elementary school best friend in 8 years, and she now lives in Texas. I still consider her a friend, and we actually re-connected just last month!
edit: I don’t live in Texas or anywhere near Texas so that’s why that’s relevant
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Post by brooksie on Apr 11, 2024 16:45:01 GMT -5
for me if we didn't end on bad terms idc how long its been we're always homies the gate to brooksie remains open to everyone who has ever known me
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 11, 2024 17:22:42 GMT -5
for me if we didn't end on bad terms idc how long its been we're always homies the gate to brooksie remains open to everyone who has ever known me it's good we became friends 50 times then
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Post by ☆*:.。. Rain .。.:*☆ on Apr 11, 2024 17:25:10 GMT -5
for me if we didn't end on bad terms idc how long its been we're always homies the gate to brooksie remains open to everyone who has ever known me it's good we became friends 50 times then XD
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Post by brooksie on Apr 11, 2024 17:55:56 GMT -5
for me if we didn't end on bad terms idc how long its been we're always homies the gate to brooksie remains open to everyone who has ever known me it's good we became friends 50 times then LOL you and dal are 4 lifers now
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#FCCA57
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Papillon
Forum Pest
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Post by Papillon on Apr 11, 2024 18:12:17 GMT -5
i once didn't talk to friends on here for several yrs bc we lost contact, but soon as we found each other again it was like nothing changed
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Post by *Ɗαɾƙρσσℓ* on Apr 11, 2024 23:35:05 GMT -5
i never really stop considering ppl friends barring like some kind of serious falling out. level of contact might impact whether i see them as close friends/besties vs just friends tho.
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Post by Quill on Apr 14, 2024 10:10:33 GMT -5
I consider people friends even if we haven't been in contact for years. I still think of them fondly and would love to catch up if we happened to run into each other again. I've never had a friendship end with bad blood or negative feelings.
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Post by mintleaf2 on Apr 14, 2024 14:13:48 GMT -5
I feel like the older you get the less strict rules about friends become. Like if you’re a kid friends feel very exclusive to just people you hang out with a lot, but as an adult friends are more like people who make me smile when I see them. I’ve got a friend from high school I barely see every year or two, but I always still consider him a friend because I care that he’s doing okay and when our friends get together it’s always nice to see him, even if we don’t just hang out together a lot.
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Post by Ivyfalcon on Apr 14, 2024 19:11:20 GMT -5
As the only person to vote no so far I feel like I should explain. I thought about it for a while but decided that I lean more no than yes. I’m usually pretty hesitant to label people as friends in the first place; I’m often unsure if I’m friends with someone until they explicitly refer to me as a friend. For people who I haven’t spoken to in a while, I would consider them a past friend, and so would likely refer to them as my friend when talking about something that happened in the past when we were actively friends. However, if I were to list people who I’m friends with, I would only include people I do feel at least somewhat close with right now.
Also, “a while” here means about a year or greater. I would also say that my “no” answer is because I’m relatively confident at that point that we aren’t really going to talk again. For example, I have several previous friends that I haven’t spoken to at all since high school, and it’s definitely been long enough that I’m pretty confident that they’re not going to reach out, and I don’t really have any interest in doing so either. However, if they did I would definitely answer and see how they’re doing, it’s not like I don’t care at all, I’ve just moved on from the friendship.
I don’t have anything against these previous friends either, we’ve just naturally drifted apart. I wouldn’t necessarily be against the idea of being friends again in the future though if we did happen to reconnect. I also don’t live in the same state I grew up in anymore, so I don’t see most of my old friends much, and I’ve chosen to maintain friendships with only a select few. There are several that I have tried to talk with since I moved, but they either didn’t respond much or weren’t putting much effort into our conversations, so I stopped talking to them because I’m not going to put in all of the effort all the time. Still not mad at them or anything, I just struggle to keep up with more than a few close friendships anyway and it’s not worth it if it’s going to be mentally exhausting for me.
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Post by seantheskyhunter on Apr 15, 2024 15:54:30 GMT -5
I still think of people as friends even if they have deliberately cut me out of their lives tbh. That door is always open and I don't have friendship degrade. If i cared about you once, I care about you forever. Regardless of if our interests part ways I'd still drop everything to help them if they called. Edit: though I'd also like to add this doesn't mean I have no boundaries. There are some people I may care deeply for that I'd still say no to because the best help I can give is simply resources for them to help themselves and I am not going to let myself be used for a long time with nothing in return. My giving stops at a point where I know they are takers who continue to sit in victimhood rather than claw their way out of it. Or if they deliberately mistreat me or other people I love. thats sweet
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Apr 15, 2024 22:06:14 GMT -5
As the only person to vote no so far I feel like I should explain. I thought about it for a while but decided that I lean more no than yes. I’m usually pretty hesitant to label people as friends in the first place; I’m often unsure if I’m friends with someone until they explicitly refer to me as a friend. For people who I haven’t spoken to in a while, I would consider them a past friend, and so would likely refer to them as my friend when talking about something that happened in the past when we were actively friends. However, if I were to list people who I’m friends with, I would only include people I do feel at least somewhat close with right now. Also, “a while” here means about a year or greater. I would also say that my “no” answer is because I’m relatively confident at that point that we aren’t really going to talk again. For example, I have several previous friends that I haven’t spoken to at all since high school, and it’s definitely been long enough that I’m pretty confident that they’re not going to reach out, and I don’t really have any interest in doing so either. However, if they did I would definitely answer and see how they’re doing, it’s not like I don’t care at all, I’ve just moved on from the friendship. I don’t have anything against these previous friends either, we’ve just naturally drifted apart. I wouldn’t necessarily be against the idea of being friends again in the future though if we did happen to reconnect. I also don’t live in the same state I grew up in anymore, so I don’t see most of my old friends much, and I’ve chosen to maintain friendships with only a select few. There are several that I have tried to talk with since I moved, but they either didn’t respond much or weren’t putting much effort into our conversations, so I stopped talking to them because I’m not going to put all of the effort all the time. Still not mad at them or anything, I just struggle to keep up with more than a few close friendships anyway and it’s not worth it if it’s going to be mentally exhausting for me. This is similar to how I think about it as well. I personally find it's not really healthy for me to hold onto the idea of being friends with someone whom I have drifted apart from. It doesn't mean that the door is closed or that there's no going back once I stopped thinking of them as a friend; it's just a recognition that they're not really involved in my life anymore and have ceased to impact my present. If they happen to drift back into my life, that's cool, we can be friends again! But until then, they're just somebody that I used to know (*cue song*). (I have had some history of some former friends ghosting me/drifting away in a one-sided fashion, so continuing to call them "friends" even after they've stopped having anything to do with my present life feels a bit too much like I'm clinging to the past).
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Post by Lizard 🦎 on Apr 16, 2024 2:39:33 GMT -5
yes i absolutely still consider them as friends !! i have a lot of people i haven't talked with in a while, but if they approached me now and wanted to chat, i'd absolutely love to!! obviously i get that there's not the same level of closeness, but they're a friend to me nonetheless
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Post by Ivyfalcon on Apr 27, 2024 19:14:38 GMT -5
As the only person to vote no so far I feel like I should explain. I thought about it for a while but decided that I lean more no than yes. I’m usually pretty hesitant to label people as friends in the first place; I’m often unsure if I’m friends with someone until they explicitly refer to me as a friend. For people who I haven’t spoken to in a while, I would consider them a past friend, and so would likely refer to them as my friend when talking about something that happened in the past when we were actively friends. However, if I were to list people who I’m friends with, I would only include people I do feel at least somewhat close with right now. Also, “a while” here means about a year or greater. I would also say that my “no” answer is because I’m relatively confident at that point that we aren’t really going to talk again. For example, I have several previous friends that I haven’t spoken to at all since high school, and it’s definitely been long enough that I’m pretty confident that they’re not going to reach out, and I don’t really have any interest in doing so either. However, if they did I would definitely answer and see how they’re doing, it’s not like I don’t care at all, I’ve just moved on from the friendship. I don’t have anything against these previous friends either, we’ve just naturally drifted apart. I wouldn’t necessarily be against the idea of being friends again in the future though if we did happen to reconnect. I also don’t live in the same state I grew up in anymore, so I don’t see most of my old friends much, and I’ve chosen to maintain friendships with only a select few. There are several that I have tried to talk with since I moved, but they either didn’t respond much or weren’t putting much effort into our conversations, so I stopped talking to them because I’m not going to put all of the effort all the time. Still not mad at them or anything, I just struggle to keep up with more than a few close friendships anyway and it’s not worth it if it’s going to be mentally exhausting for me. This is similar to how I think about it as well. I personally find it's not really healthy for me to hold onto the idea of being friends with someone whom I have drifted apart from. It doesn't mean that the door is closed or that there's no going back once I stopped thinking of them as a friend; it's just a recognition that they're not really involved in my life anymore and have ceased to impact my present. If they happen to drift back into my life, that's cool, we can be friends again! But until then, they're just somebody that I used to know (*cue song*). (I have had some history of some former friends ghosting me/drifting away in a one-sided fashion, so continuing to call them "friends" even after they've stopped having anything to do with my present life feels a bit too much like I'm clinging to the past). This is a pretty late response (it’s been a busy couple of weeks) but I agree with basically all of this. I’ve also had similar issues with former friends doing that for no apparent reason. It’s not fun if you really did want to maintain the friendship, but it’s also not really worth it if it’s one-sided anyway.
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