Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
Name Colour
ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
Official ThunderClan & ElmClan Leader
Easing back in
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Aug 27, 2016 1:00:49 GMT -5
So, I've been dealing with a conversion disorder for about four years now. I've done so many tests and gone to different specialists. My parents and I are frustrated because I can't drive, I can't work, I can't even sit at the kitchen table unless someone is in the house. Recently, we were referred to a place in Indy in hopes we can find answers. I don't know if it's because of four years of trying and nothing, but I don't think they'll find anything. I think it's just the disorder. I get my parents want me to be able to live normally, but with what I've been told, I highly doubt it.
It can go away, come back, not come back, or I never "outgrow" it. It's frustrating because I already view so lowly of myself and I feel so useless, unneeded, and unwanted. I feel like that because I can't do things "normal" people do, I'm just going to be cast aside. In the fours years I've had this, I've heard so many comments, insults, and just general negativity. I get it sucks, I'm the one who knows that the most, but it seems that my family doesn't want to accept the possibility of me staying like this. I know they want me better, they want me to think positively, but this has given me a realistic view of how I need to achieve things. It's an obstacle that I have to overcome daily just to do something.
Sorry for my rant.
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Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
Name Colour
ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
Official ThunderClan & ElmClan Leader
Easing back in
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Aug 27, 2016 1:12:09 GMT -5
It's alright and no need to be sorry. A conversion disorder is pretty much where you show stress in a physical way. There aren't really any "causes" for it. I've had many tests and they've showed up that I was healthy, so there isn't anything wrong with the body. It's more of a psychological illness. I've heard people have had seizures, paralysis, or they just "pass out." I can't really explain it because I can only tell what I've experienced and I don't want to just give a textbook definition.
also, is that yukine from noragami?
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Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
Name Colour
ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
Official ThunderClan & ElmClan Leader
Easing back in
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Aug 27, 2016 1:29:08 GMT -5
I hate medical testing. The only thing somewhat okay was the heart monitor because it was just stuck to me, but it looked weird under my clothes and stuff.
yukine is precious
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Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
Name Colour
ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
Official ThunderClan & ElmClan Leader
Easing back in
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Aug 27, 2016 1:34:43 GMT -5
I hate needles as well. One of the hospitals in my city has terrible nurses who put IVs in and it's so painful, more than it should be. How do they take an echo of your heart?
When he broke down and cried, it killed me. I just wanted to be his friend.
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Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
Name Colour
ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
Official ThunderClan & ElmClan Leader
Easing back in
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Aug 27, 2016 1:52:45 GMT -5
That sounds really interesting oddly enough.. Don't look at it. I have to do that.
Like please come here, I'll love you!
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