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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2017 20:25:54 GMT -5
So, I know you guys know me as bisexual generally here on the forums (maybe some know me as skoliosexual if you saw those threads or know me a bit better). Regardless, I had a really eye opening convo with a good IRL friend a few months ago that I keep coming back to in my mind. She's pansexual and was basically describing what that entailed to me/how she found out and all of that. At the time I was firmly in my position of waiting things out before I decided whether I identified as pan as well, because I didn't know that many non-cis identifying people IRL, yet I do have that lovely phenomenon where basically the more androgynous you are as a human the more likely I am to be head over heels for you But by now I'm starting to get to that point where I interact with more and more folks IRL who don't simply identify as cis females or males, and oftentimes I think "Heck, you are an attractive person. I would go on a date with you, given the opportunity". So I'm treading this very thin line between being bisexual/panromantic, or possibly just full on pansexual/panromantic. But I don't wanna jump to conclusions on this either because it legit took me 5 years and a few failed relationships plus one functioning one with a girl to even come to terms realizing I was bi....
So for now you're welcome to refer to me as either bi or pan, or ask me questions about either situation tbh. I'm kinda just a person in romantic limbo who finds a lot of individuals very attractive tbh xD
Sorry for the huge rant this turned out to be. It's just been racking my brain all week and this is really the only spot I can really openly share my thoughts on this stuff (at least until I leave my parents' place and get back to my own apartment again)
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Post by argyle lechuga on Jul 27, 2017 21:01:20 GMT -5
the thing about terms for sexuality is that none of them actually exist if that makes sense? like they're all human concepts. no one has to be anything. like you don't have to be bi or pan or skoli or whatever, you're just you.
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Post by mickle on Jul 27, 2017 21:01:26 GMT -5
theres a certain point where if you try to apply labels to things it just doesnt work, ya know.
humans are diverse and the diversity is fascinating and beautiful. hence why its nice that more labels are being recognized. before, if ya fell under a label that wasnt straight, cis, white, etc. you were in for a rough time, as the world didnt have room for that label yet.
of course, as you get more and more labels. you realize theres more and more different qualities and ways humans present as. then what? what if somebody just doesnt fit a label? you cant shove them into a label.
it really, really, really, is okay if you dont fit a label, let me just say that. i dont particularly use labels myself, ive struggled in the past trying to figure out if im this or that. so i just said "screw it, im not using any labels. i dont fit them and im not gonna force myself to pretend to be this."
in the struggle to find a label, i found i was thinking "but im not this. i dont do this. i dont act like this. i dont deserve to be this." thats not a nice way to think.
so.
dont force yourself to being confined to a label. sure, its handy and convenient. its hard for humans not to label things outright. it simplifies it. makes it easier to understand. but humans arent simple like that.
perhaps youre already under your own label? my name's pasta (in actuality its phant but im not remembered as that anymore). its a label. i could put more labels on myself if i so wished. but my name, "pasta" by itself also gives information, because if you know me, by seeing that name, you remember my personality, orientation and all.
sorry for the tangent. but i supose what im saying is this: we cant label everything, because you are uniquely you.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2017 21:07:32 GMT -5
it's not so much about labels i think as much as it is you picked one too soon and/or these things do sometimes change over time naturally. it doesn't mean the label you picked was wrong; it was just right at a different time and isn't right anymore. some people find a word that fits them and their experiences, and it'll be right their entire lives. for some people, that doesn't happen. but that doesn't make the word for you that you picked wrong because it was right once
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2017 5:24:54 GMT -5
Exactly. You all basically explained what I was feeling in much more eloquent words, haha xD Glad to know other people agree with me.
Plus luckily it's not like this stuff comes up often in real life. Only a handful of people are even aware that I use any "labels" other than cis/hetero, so at least I never have to feel like I'm unable to define myself in day to day life
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