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Post by broken on Jul 20, 2017 22:47:14 GMT -5
Okay sorry in advance, I'm terrible at writing, especially when I'm trying to explain something. And I'm actually a little nervous to post this, I don't even know why >< But I feel really bad for what I've been doing to my friend. He's a nice guy, but I just only realized that he's been flirting with me ;;; and I've been friendzoning him for the longest time without explaining why We talk almost everyday and he's just fun to be around, but I just noticed this today. I've been reflecting on past conversation and times we've been together because someone actually pointed this out to me
he compliments me like crazy like "you look beautiful with your hair down" or "you look good in that color." I really thought nothing of it and just said thanks and carried on with the conversation. And he does a lot of nice things without me asking for them, like he just randomly buys me gift cards and other nice gestures and he even asked me to hang out with him more often. And we planned to go bowling next week and I asked who's all invited. He looked so sad when I asked him that, but he just said whoever I want. I know he probably wants alone time with me, but I don't really see him as anything more than a friend.
I don't know, I'm just rambling on at this point and I'm probably making a big deal out of nothing... but I was hoping that someone could maybe give me advice? I've always been oblivious to this and I don't know how to tell him I just want to be friends without hurting him ;-;
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2017 22:53:12 GMT -5
just tell him. if he gets all offended about getting "friend zoned" he's not worth keeping as a friend tbh
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Post by mickle on Jul 20, 2017 23:01:32 GMT -5
Despite the fact I've (kinda) been in the same position as you I really don't know what to say. But, what I think, is that there is really no way to tell him you just think of him as a friend without hurting his feelings. And it's definitely gonna be awkward after the chat. My best guess is to say something about you being very grateful for him and enjoying his presence, but only as a friend.
Kinda irrelevant: Don't feel guilty for this. Don't feel you owe him anything. When it comes to a relationship, it is of the utmost important that all members' needs are accounted for. I used to (and still do) beat myself up so many times thinking "why can't I just love them too, this would be much easier" and "I'm such a terrible friend, playing with their heart." Not true. Your feelings are just as valid.
Good luck and stay safe. It's a quite awkward situation.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2017 23:05:26 GMT -5
just tell him. if he gets all offended about getting "friend zoned" he's not worth keeping as a friend tbh to add to this (sorry i'm working on a project rn and just got a new idea for yet another lmao) you don't owe him anything. like i get feeling bad because he's given you stuff, as you mentioned. but that doesn't mean you have to reciprocate his feelings. and if he gets angry you don't, that's a bad sign. like he's gonna be upset and that's normal; everyone's upset when someone doesn't like them back. but if he blames you for it, that's not normal and you should def not talk to him anymore. and it's normal for you to feel bad about it, but you don't have to do that because you don't owe him anything
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Post by broken on Jul 20, 2017 23:16:04 GMT -5
Yeah I understand what you guys are saying and thanks. I'll try to talk to him and tell him about wanting to be nothing more than a friend, but I think this is going to be one awkward conversation. And I just really hope that he accepts the news and doesn't become too angry...
Thank you both, again
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