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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2017 22:14:24 GMT -5
[ dont put words into our mouths (: youre fine on being here you just need to research a little more? we're not saying you should stop, we're just trying to help you. ]
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Post by ѕρσттεdѕнιммεя on Jun 7, 2017 22:15:02 GMT -5
[ as someone who's had three inhalers for asthma, once again, i know my facts. one is for the short term use, in a case of an emergency. the second one is to be used daily to make sure that your lungs and airway are fine. i'm not the best with technical terms. however. i do know i had three, two of them i kept around on me and the third i think was for preparations in case i was doing something stressful. it was in elementary and middle school and i'm... the worst at remembering technical things. however, i did have three and i was in track and field and did just fine.
i don't think military would have to be different as long as she had her emergency one with her. ]
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Post by ѕρσттεdѕнιммεя on Jun 7, 2017 22:16:06 GMT -5
[ i'm not putting words into your mouths. i'm saying how i feel. that is all. ]
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2017 22:17:22 GMT -5
[ that's all the same inhaler though? separately they're three, but they have the same dose - thats ventalin so she only has one type the way you phrased it on the form seems like she has multiple of a different type, hence the "thats a bit too much" deal. there are multiple different types of inhalers for asthma my dude ]
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Post by ѕρσттεdѕнιммεя on Jun 7, 2017 22:18:18 GMT -5
[ kind of like my character i don't feel like i belong here. i apologize. i was interested in this, but i feel a bit unwanted and annoying, primarily since i started. i do not know what i'm doing and i'm feeling a little frustrated. but, that i my inability and my issue, therefore, i apologize. mostly for being a bother and i apologize for not being able to do the proper things as you see fit.
i feel like i should drop out of the role-play since, once again, i'm a bit horrible at understanding things. ]
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Post by ✦ ┇ W ι ɳ on Jun 7, 2017 22:20:13 GMT -5
(Hey nerf((idk if this is what you like to be called, plz correct me)) no need to stress! Nobody doesn't want you here, I know I'm new, but I think clarifying some things is always good, no attack against your character or you!
Like the inhalers, as long as her asthma isn't severe she could be in the military and fine, because the everyday inhaler is a steroid to avoid spasms and the rescue is common! Heart failure is most definitely not possible to join the army, but arrhythmia isn't a fatal thing it's just abnormal heart rhythm as long as it's in control it's fine
But- if Dia and Xander are unsure about those, maybe try to stick to one inhaler or something? She seems like a cool character and I don't think changing something small like that or making her more professions in military would be detrimental to who she is)
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2017 22:22:16 GMT -5
[ im not gonna fight you and dia's busy with things so whatever you do is up to you. so. yep. do what you wanna do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ]
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Post by L’Éᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ on Jun 7, 2017 22:31:06 GMT -5
Hey man, nobody's trying to attack you or anything. As we stated before, there was just some inconsistencies that could be fixed really easily like clarifying the type of inhalers she had, the severity of her arrhythmia, and removing heart failure from her bill of health.
If you still feel attacked however, I apologize if it seemed that way. If you still wish to leave, well, I hope you the best in your other rps.
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Post by ѕρσттεdѕнιммεя on Jun 7, 2017 22:37:44 GMT -5
[ ahhhh i've just been having a rough week, i apologize greatly for my mood. especially after last night, being annoying and all that is the last thing i want to appear. and thus, when i'm feeling like i'm only bothering you all, it's making me extremely... frustrated? insecure? sad? i don't know the feeling to be able to describe it. a bad run in with a angry person who loves to tear others down tends to kill one's self confidence. i apologize greatly for my reasoning and behavior. this does not excuse me for being testy and snap a bit at all, but i wish to apologize for it.
as for if i'm staying in the role-play, i don't quite know yet. i want to be, but once again, i feel like i'm a bother. ]
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2017 22:48:49 GMT -5
youre not a bother its just a little? irritating? that you snap when we're trying to help. you shoot down any help we try to give, r.e clarification and such and our character's thoughts dont reflect our own, so taking that personally? its not gonna help u
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Post by ѕρσттεdѕнιммεя on Jun 7, 2017 23:34:21 GMT -5
[ as requested, i did fix up the bits to her form. i'm still far from being done with it and i don't know half of what's being asked, hence why i'm so slow with it. english was my strong suit, but it was the writing portion, not the vocabulary.
once again, i apologize for that. i tend to be head strong and don't like repeatedly changing something. once or twice is fine but repeatedly doing something again and against annoys me greatly. along with the fact that i'm super moody and have had a rough week, my temper appears to be shorter than usual. for this, i greatly apologize and will try to correct my behavior.
*edit: as for the character thing, i'm not taking that personally, just making a small relation towards her. ]
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Post by L’Éᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ on Jun 7, 2017 23:41:56 GMT -5
It's just that if you're having a hard time understanding what the form is asking for, you can ask for clarification from one of us. If you fill out something you're uncertain of and we ask you to change it, it would be better to keep an open mind. After all, like you said, you weren't certain about what to put there in the first place so getting out input on it should be a good thing, no?
Also, it's good that you're not taking it personally because as of right now, ur character's in-rp behavior does not line up with a well disciplined soldier and it's hard for the preexisting veterans to respect that.
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Post by ѕρσттεdѕнιммεя on Jun 7, 2017 23:48:04 GMT -5
[ lexi's not exactly what you'd call disciplined, but i might have to change that due to her background. because the whole thing about being a pilot is her dreams and such and why she stopped is because of reaper making her inefficient in her work. which is why she joined and all that fun stuff. reaper is the name she gave the original form of her monster, as she was told if you give something a name it's less scary. didn't exactly work in her case.
as for the vocab, google's been my best friend filling out the form so far. ]
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Post by L’Éᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ on Jun 7, 2017 23:52:14 GMT -5
If Alexis isn't disciplined, I not sure she's clearly cut for the RAF. I mean, I'm certain a few years in training would have cut the bite out of her, but as of now, she's got too much to be considered a member of a well disciplined branch like the RAF. Like certainly the military guys know how to have fun and how to form close bonds, but they also know when they have to be serious and how to listen to direct orders from a CO.
And like I said before, please ask us if you have any questions regarding the form.
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Post by ѕρσттεdѕнιммεя on Jun 7, 2017 23:58:32 GMT -5
[ serious business is difficult for her, but if it comes down to it, if it's like a dead on serious thing, she can do it. she's more of a jokster who likes to lighten things up instead of be... i don't know how to exactly word this correctly but...
she's disciplined to have respect and proper manners, she will follow orders, she's just the type who wants to know why she's doing something. which is why she spoke up about the team alpha thing, but i do understand your point. someone of a military background probably should be far more disciplined than lexi is.
and considering i have her set on the dream of a pilot, which for the type she enjoys would be a fighter jet or something along those lines, she would have to be more disciplined than what she currently is. high energy and bubbly, in my mind. conflicts with being able to be fully disciplined from her jokster, bubbly nature, wanting to be light hearted and similar things. but i get the logic on her discipline and will do my best to fix that with her around the others and such. ]
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Post by L’Éᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ on Jun 8, 2017 0:33:02 GMT -5
Alphonse Fournier "Shape up or get out."
- ♠ - Lowering his eyes to tastefully glance at Alexis Oswell's restless fingers, he felt absolutely obligated to shape this rookie up. If she was in any other team, she would question orders and rush head first into danger. That type of behavior would not only get her killed, but it would also get her team mates killed. Here, right before him, was a woman who was restless even when speaking to far more experienced hunters, looking for a way out and incapable of standing attention for a commanding officer.
She was not crafted of the same material that Team Alpha was. He wold bring this up to Luo Jing later during when he chose to confront his former mentor. If they hadn't been given a pool of veterans to choose from, then at the very least a pool of well rounded rookies wasn't too much to ask for, was it? He was far too tired to deal with her tireless energy, so ready to throw herself into danger that she would probably need training to heel before she was even taught how to properly attack.
This lack of self control was going to be the death of her. It would seem that before any combat training even began, she would have to learn how to reign herself in and learn a lesson in patience. Ah yes, patience, that was something he could teach her. He was, if nothing else, a patient man. Keeping his eyes locked with hers, he held his gaze as he stared into her brown eyes searching for a challenge as he held his silence for an uncomfortable minute to allow her to remember her place.
Speaking slowly, he finally answered her. "Permission granted, Oswell."
He stood still in his place, not giving her ground even as he continued speaking. His eyes were far from forgiving as he drew himself to his full height, words firm in a way reminiscent to when he gave commands. "Go pack up your belongings. You're going to be taking the last room down the hall to the right." That had been Darius's room, but his trinkets and various books had long been packed up and stuffed in a box down in storage to be revised before being sent home.
"After you're settled in, you're free to do what you want for the rest of the evening. Report to me tomorrow morning at 0800 sharp. You are dismissed."
Raising an eyebrow once he finished speaking, he waited a brief second for any retort. Hearing nothing, he turned on his heels and left her behind. She would preoccupy herself with her packing and self righteous anger, no doubt. He had no time for either one of those things and could care less if she felt indignant and out of place. If she thought she was being treated unfairly, she was wrong.
She had not been welcomed into this space, but he had tried to offer her a chance at a semblance of normalcy. He knew that it would be harder on some of the younger members to just move on, because it stung. It hurt even him and they were younger, though hardened and experienced by The Order, they would take the blow hard. It was only natural. No matter how many good friends he had lost over the years, the pain was always raw and terrible each time.
But she had thrown that back in his face and treated him with the same disrespect the Council had given his team. He would not stand idly by for that.
Instead, he chose to head over to Gale who was occupied by his task of fixing his rifle. He knew the man was grieving. He was hurting in ways that were all too familiar and he had been admitting to the pain before Oswell had come. He knew that the hour for admissions was over and it would be a rare feat for Gale to resume such a sensitive topic, but he hoped his companionship would at least be welcomed.
He wasn't certain if Gale needed it, but he knew for a fact he himself needed a friend. Whether they talked or remained silent was not his concern. He could sit in silence comfortably enough. Pulling up a chair, he sat down besides Gale and watched the younger man work. Though he would not mind the silence, he knew that Gale at least deserved an explanation for the events that had occurred.
Glancing at the spot where Oswell had been standing, he spoke, words soft and gentle in a way he had not been with the rookie, "I don't want this either, Gale." The admission was new. It was admitting that not only did he not like the Council's decision, but he had not want it. This had not been his choice. The French, after snapping at Oswell in English, felt right somehow. It felt reminiscent of home and better times. "But what can we do against The Council's decree?" The chuckle that escaped him sounded hollow, even to his ears.
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Post by Salted Squid on Jun 8, 2017 0:45:38 GMT -5
I still wanna join this but dang I can't find a single roleplay sample that isn't laughably short
I really need to work on my writing skills x.x))
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2017 1:05:24 GMT -5
Gale Amari "Everything is by design." | ◙ |
The words were just background noise, hearing Alphonse speak to the new rookie. The new part of their team. The replacement for their family. It was different in other teams, teams that were used to them; they knew how to train people, knew how to discipline and knew how to function around people who were still stumbling over their own feet. Team Alpha was a strike team, they dove into danger when no-one else could, they---
It struck him, and he wasn't sure why he hadn't realised.
With two new rookies, they couldn't do their missions. It was impossible - it would kill the rookies or leave them two men short. They couldn't afford that. Even a full team hadn't been enough to save the two that had died. His hands paused in their work and he stared down at his rifle, head tilted to the side. He could hear Al moving, so he supposed that the leader was done talking to the newcomer. Oswell. Definitely not fitting to this environment, but he supposed that Al would deal with that. Hell, he knew he didn't want to go near any rookies, promising or not.
Gale's habit of glancing to see if Jason approved of his work meant that he noticed the older man much more quickly than he usually would've, when occupied with his work. To see someone there was a surprise, it caused him to blink a few times as he stared at Al, trying to comprehend the words. I don't want this either. It felt like validation, it tasted bitter. He blinked and turned his head back to the gun in front of him, idly testing the switch. It needed some more work, and so he focused on the mechanisms once again.
"Burn them all at the stake," he said idly, without much enthusiasm. He winced a little as a sharper piece of metal sliced the pad of his thumb, but simply pressed down on the wound to stop the bleeding and then continued with his work. "Long live the revolution! We kill them all!"
Even with the slight upward tone of his voice that was going for mild humour, it fell short due to the flatter tone. Usually, he was good at this. The joking around. It just...it wasn't working out. He didn't have the energy for it.
After a few more tries, he exhaled with some relief as the scope moved freely up and down when he flicked the switch. He then set it aside and dropped his hands to his lap, half-turning to turn his body towards Alphonse.
"It's been years since I lost someone I was close to," he told him firmly, "and the last person I lost was my mother to one of my demons. They - they shouldn't have gone like that," despite his grief, his voice remained surprisingly steady. Well. He wasn't sure if it was a surprise to the older man, but it was a surprise to himself. "And like. The guilt? I don't know why that's a thing that's happening, and I know loss happens but damn it was unexpected and god, Al, I'm really tired."
He paused, but only for a moment - not long enough to be spoken to.
"I'm sorry I spoke out of turn. I couldn't really help it? I know better than to do that and yet I did it anyway and I don't care if I'm grieving, that was just plain stupid. I just don't know what to do. I'm lost and I need help but I can't find it because I'd rather just stay in my own head."
It was the most he'd spoken for - well, the past twenty four hours. He'd been prone to chattering nonstop to Jason, had sometimes just chattered away to anyone who would listen, once he was comfortable. Many people mistook Gale for a quiet person - but that wasn't true. He was a good listener, and just as good at talking. There were days where he'd talk nonstop.
But this wasn't chatter, this was raw sorrow. He wasn't sure what to do with himself - there was a rough pain behind his eyes that wanted him to cry. He almost had cried, and he still needed to but hell if he was going to do it now that rookies were around. He'd put it off for too long, and now he'd just have to deal with that. Talking to Al helped, just the faintest amount, however.
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Post by ѕρσттεdѕнιммεя on Jun 8, 2017 1:20:44 GMT -5
Alexis Oswell "I may not understand the way things work around here, but I understand enough to get by." Waiting to move until he was done talking, Lexi gave a small salute and left at her normal quick pace, taking in a small breath once she was out of there. It felt cold in there, a bit dark and almost... like the gloom of a storm that wouldn't come. A cloudy day where the rain would never seem to come, just threatening to loom over. Of course, once she realized it, she couldn't blame the atmosphere at all. The loss of a team-mate... she hadn't experienced that. She had said her good-byes as someone left or was transferred or something similar, but the death of someone... that wasn't it. She was a test pilot, a complete nerd for how the jets worked, how they were built, how they flew. While testing those jets, the different types of planes... she was in her own kind of heaven.
Four years of training, a physiological test and then... finally, she had been allowed to take one into the air. She learned every little thing she could about planes and jets just so she was able to fly one. Lexi had gone through whatever she could so that she could fly, so that she could be up in the air and enjoy the speed, enjoy being in control, testing out the limits as requested of her. Nothing too risky, that... could get her grounded. Going too far while in the air now-a-days would lead to a pilot getting grounded and... that had been a nightmare to imagine. Motivation to stay in line and do only as asked was extremely high for that reason.
Had it only been a year since she stopped flying? Time really... flew by. Bad pun, worst pun, she should have been kicked just for thinking of that pun. That was literally the worst. And also why she was snickering to herself as she moved swiftly and quickly down the hall. Bad puns and horrible jokes were her life-line, besides piloting jets and testing them out.
Not much in her room, besides clothes, her laptop to contact Walter and her mother, and of course, hopes for another close friend, Zlata, to contact her. Unlike Lexi, Zlata was full on in the Russian military and... well, talking wasn't really something that they could do, even through a computer, not very often, at least. She did send her letters, though, which was always fun writing. She knew bits and pieces of Russian, learning new words and such every time she got an email or letter. It was always fun talking with her.
Lexi also grabbed her two stuffed animals, some picture frames and her picture of her father whom had passed on when she was about six years old, not really getting to know him as much as she'd like. But there were tapes of him and pictures and oh, the stories that her mother told her about that man. She used to write letters to him whenever she felt lonely, putting them under her bed when she was done, in middle school and most of high school. He had been one of the reasons she went into the military, though she wasn't a soldier like him, she went into the military to fly.
Putting the straps of her bag over her shoulder and grabbing her case for her guns, which held the instruments to take care of the pistols as well as the bullets and such, she took one last look at her little room before going back towards the Alpha Wing. And there, stood a problem once again. The same problem as when she approached it... fifteen minutes ago?
The code to get inside the wing was unknown to her. Scolding herself, she hissed at her forgetfulness to ask for it. But then again, was it really her place to ask for it? Actually, no. It probably wasn't. Maybe that was a good thing she forgot about the code. Either way, her hand closed into a fist, the one that wasn't carrying the case and once more, knocked on the door.
"Alexis Oswell reporting back with my things, as requested, sir," she called out, standing straight up again, looking at the door. If it was possible, she'd probably be fidgeting around again. She literally could not stand still or be still. Always tapping or moving in some way, fidgeting with something, Lexi couldn't be still. Fingers began to play with her bag silently, shifting her weight a bit back and forth. "Permission to come back in and get situated, sir?"
Perhaps she should email Walter and see if he was available to talk to. She missed that big guy, quite some bit. Lexi enjoyed talking with him. Of course, there was also Zlata that she could see if she could talk to. One in a thousand chance of that happening. Actually, once every four months or so she'd be able to talk with Zlata, due to her being so busy doing... whatever she was doing. The twenty-seven year old had no clue and it was kept that way. She had no desire to prod at that business. Maybe she would talk to Kyo, another one of her friends, whom was Japanese. Ah, having friends in different cultures was exciting. But unlike Zlata who told her what she had been saying, Kyo left her in the dark and literally provided no translation in Japanese. She knew "hai" was yes, "konnichiwa" was probably some sort of greeting and... that was it.
She could... probably be keeping in touch with everyone. Yeah, after finishing off practicing with her pistols, she'd go see if any of them were available to talk with. That would be quite nice and a good way to have the day. Maybe end it was a good jog or something similar. Or perhaps she should head to bed...
Just choose what you want to do already! she scolded herself, taking in a deep breath. Opposite of patient. But this time she knew what to expect, most likely, at least. The people behind the door, she was to be a bit familiar with, at least, more-so than she had twenty minutes ago, when she had no clue that she would be coming here and staying in the Alpha Wing. Actually, she still had not really a clue what the names were of her team-mates. She'd learn though... eventually, at their own pace.
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Post by L’Éᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ on Jun 8, 2017 2:22:02 GMT -5
Alphonse Fournier "We are wolves lying in wait, submitting for a chance to rise again." - ♠ - He had no doubt in his mind that Gale had already figured out what the circumstances meant. They were being removed from the front lines. No longer was Team Alpha the leading strike team, they were being put back into reserves and taken off the front lines to do jobs that were meant for teams with less distinguished achievements. It tasted of shame and bitterness.
However, as he watched Gale work with the diligence of a haunted man, he knew one thing for certain. He had to stay strong for Gale and for Rhy. He had to stay strong for his team. They could break down at any given moment, crumble upon the insistent weight placed upon their shoulders trying to crush them. If he were to crumble first there would be no pillar to keep everything from following behind him. And if that was the case, everything he had worked so hard for - everything he had done would be for naught.
Swallowing hard, he leaned against the cool metal of the work bench taking comfort in the sensations. It told him he was in the present, that he was still here and he was still grounded, but it was also nauseating and reminding him that everything that had occurred was very much real. Jason was gone. Darius was gone. Things would never go back to normal, but they would heal. Of that, he had no doubt. They would heal and things would get better, but as with all things... they would never have what they once did.
They would grow closer from the ordeal, of course, but... nothing would be able to replace what they lost. Nobody could fill the shoes that Darius and Jason once filled. So he did what he did best and he listened, allowing Gale the opportunity to pour out the pain he was trying so hard to keep in. He knew what that kind of pain could do to a man. He knew it so well, it terrified him to think what that pain could do to his team and he was not an easy man to frighten.
Taking in each and every word Gale spoke, he kept his expression carefully blank though his eyes were filled with the same pain Gale's words held. He would never apologize for what Gale had lost, that was pity. But he could sympathize for Gale. He had read all the files, of course. He had known that Gale had lost his mom to the terrible creatures he made and Alphonse could not begin to fathom how painful that must have been for the young man.
He was not familiar with loss in the way Alphonse was, but there were glaring words on Gale's files that haunted him. Gale was an eidetic, incapable of forgetting. Alphonse himself could never forget a face, but to never be able to forget a memory no matter how terrible... That was a curse. He wasn't certain he'd be able to live with himself had he been in Gale's position.
Swallowing hard as Gale attempted to jest despite the situation, he tried his best to smile. He knew it was a terrible smile, grim and lacking any true joy but this was Gale. Gale was family and they deserved to know that he was hurting just like them, that they were not weak and that he was here for them and that he understood what they were feeling. He understood it so much it made him feel sick inside.
He wanted to reach out, close the space and reaffirm with a touch that Gale was still there, but he knew better. Gale despised physical contact that he didn't initiate, he had felt the flinch earlier and knowing that that was his fault had caused him to regret the action, but in hindsight it was the best choice of action without embarrassing Gale in front of the rookie.
Sighing softly, he clasped his hands and looked at them as he spoke. They were scarred, covered in wounds that had long heal. It had always interested him how physical wounds healed... better than emotional ones. Perhaps it was because emotional wounds weren't visible, but they were still very real and there was no known method to treat it. "You don't have to apologize for stepping out of line," his words were gentle even as he said them.
"I appreciate what you were trying to do," he paused, eyes still fixed on those terrible scars, "just don't do it again. I'd hate for those rookies to get the wrong idea."
He respected the pain and he respected the grieving, and perhaps had it been another veteran he would not have stopped Gale from lashing out. But Oswell, despite everything, was a rookie. If she saw what he allowed his team to get away with, she would come to think of it as common place. That was unacceptable.
"I know you're hurting," I am too went unspoken, "But let us handle these matters with an air of poise and dignity that Jason and Darius would have been proud of."
Before he could continue however, he heard the unmistakable rapping on the door followed by Alexis Oswell's voice. It was, and he was not going to lie, starting to get on his nerves. Sighing, he spared Gale an apologetic look before getting up to answer the door. Pulling it open, he looked at the fidgeting rookie before him with tired eyes. "Come in, Oswell and get situated. And for future reference, the code is 08591."
It seemed as if the universe was against him today. He couldn't even finish one single conversation. First the council dismissed him early and cut his arguments short and then he couldn't even speak to Gale about their loss. Twice. Closing the door behind Oswell, he turned to Gale and said the next words decisively. "Whenever you're finished with that, come find me with the others. I still have a few matters that I wish to talk about with the team regarding our current situation."
Retreating to his room, he closed the door silently behind him. He supposed he had a few minutes to figure out what he was going to say. Exactly how did he even begin to explain what had happened to them? Running a hand down his face, he loosened his tie before settling down in his bed. Glancing at the bottle of whiskey on his table, he sighed and grabbed it before pouring out another two fingers.
Downing the drink in one smooth motion, he leaned his head back against the cool metal wall and closed his eyes. This was one of the longest days he had ever had the unfortunate luck to live through.
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Post by L’Éᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ on Jun 8, 2017 2:48:42 GMT -5
Ah that's a real shame Lemon, but if we're still short a member by the time you're out you're still welcomed to rejoin us :') I hope you luck in the end of the year charades, that stuff takes the energy out of u for sure
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2017 3:25:20 GMT -5
Gale Amari "My heart pours out to you in desperation." | ◙ |
Alphonse Fournier was a different man. Gale had known this from the start - had known that there was something about him that made people want to follow him. In a time such as this, where he did not know what to do, Gale was grateful for his presence - he was almost as much of a rock as Tea was, and just as reliable, if not more. While he was sitting here feeling sorry for himself, Al was...doing his job.
Gale was trying his best.
A time such as this, he would've cried. As it was, he held back any possible tears, focusing on anything but the pain once he had poured his heart out. Pent-up anger was not a new thing to Gale, but having it be angered towards himself? That had not happened for a long, long time. The last time it had been this rough had been when he was a teenager - full of pain and angst, directing it all into himself and thus causing significant harm. As a young adult, he'd been keen on collateral damage. Now? He just wanted the damage to stop. There was too much at once, and no time to recover. No time for wounds to heal before more were layered on top. It reminded him of a darker time.
Even though, to others, it might not have been a big deal, Al's attempt at a smile was comforting. It told him what he needed to know, and he smiled back; an empty, tender thing, easily breakable in the wrong hands. His hands were shaking minutely, and it was a wonder he had been able to accomplish his goal of fixing his rifle. It just needed a few more check-ups and then it would be good to go, he supposed. He wasn't quite sure. He didn't want to dwell on the ifs right now, however, and so he simply nodded to Alphonse and flicked his face to a cool mask as he glanced slowly at the newcomer. Twenty-four hours. That was all he had been given to mourn, and now he had to fall back into a routine. Any routine. Something that would give him a sense of normalcy. This rookie had the code to their saferoom, would be able to access their home. Hell, that was weird to think - this was their home, and there was someone new. Not quite invading, but she obviously didn't belong.
Maybe he had been like that once. New, wide-eyed. But he was and had been a veteran, had defeated his first monster long before he'd been picked up by Team Alpha. The rookies in Omicron had been like that too, but they had been a steady flow. Never permanent. There had been three people in the main team; Shira Abergel, Killian Moriarty, and Gale Amari. They had trained their rookies and had watched them to to replace the team members of slightly higher teams. He held no doubt that Oswell had encountered either Omicron or Zeta - but he wasn't even sure if his old team were still alive. In his time there, he had met some terrifying first monsters.
"My name is Amari," he told her firmly, standing up from where he had been sitting, "if your weapons need repairs, you come to me. You need to practice aim? You come to me."
Simple, to the point. He didn't like speaking English at the best of times, but he'd deal with it. It was just one of those things that couldn't be helped. He pushed his rifle lightly to the back of the workbench and placed his tools back into the kit, replacing it back to where it belonged underneath the bench. He kicked the wooden stool back to where he'd found it with one bare foot, and walked towards his own room.
We have a winner here, whispered something in his head - it was not something happening in the present, but rather, a memory. A vivid one, at that. What a hero! Rejecting other people because he's hurting? That must feel great.
Precise words and exact tones - he could remember the jackal's glowing red eyes. All four of them, staring at him with hunger. Their snapping jaws did not bite hard enough to kill, just to mark. His fingers brushed absently over his side, where one of the worst wounds from his first monster had been present, so many years ago. It had been clever with words and knew exactly how to get into his mind, had been able to laugh at his pain and feed from it. It had not tried to kill him.
In the present day, his monsters were much more forgiving. If they saw him, they'd try to tear him apart. Back then, when he had been a victim of himself, they had preyed on his darker thoughts and had laughed at his pain.
He swallowed thickly, focused on his room to clear his thoughts. It was not the neatest, with some clothes scattered over the floor, a dressing table with a mess of makeup and bullets of all things, a few packs of cigarettes strewn in-between. His bed wasn't even made. The disarray was not a product of grief, but rather a normal occurrence. Gale was organised, but his room had always held an air of rebellious teenagehood to it.
Gale kicked one of his prototype rifles out of the way (it was just a model, really; something to work on to see if he could replicate the one-of-a-kind sniper rifle that Jason had made), absently crossed his room and crouched as he flicked open the door of his closet. Some rummaging later, and he found a bottle that he had been saving; Red Grand Marcus wine. It was red, and he wasn't sure if Alphonse would appreciate it, but hell. He was sad.
Once that was picked up, he exited his room and walked to Al's, knocking three times on the door before he waited patiently, gaze cast downward.
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Post by ѕρσттεdѕнιммεя on Jun 8, 2017 3:36:25 GMT -5
Alexis Oswell "No matter what's going on, never forget to tell the ones you love how important they are." The door had opened when she didn't expect it to, once again, making her give a little start as she saw her commanding officer once more, hearing him repeat what he had said earlier. Memorization of a code... now that was something easy, a simple task. Memorizing numbers was exactly what she was good at, as it was a part of the computer area in a jet. Numbers, calculations, making sure everything was in proper order, the proper code to get into places, to make things work, to activate certain codes... As a test pilot, you had to know the jet or plane as well as those who made it, you had to understand it as well as the mechanics did.
08591. Oh eight-five, ninety-one.
A simple number to recall. Lexi would keep it well in mind. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." Nearly jumping a bit, she hadn't expected .. Amari, is it? Amari... that had a very nice ring to it. "Yes, sir. Thank you as well." She was swift on her feet, going down the hallway to where she was told her room would be. At the slowest, her walk was similar to a speed walk, always quick and agile on her feet. Opening the room, it felt... strange.
Someone once lived here before me. This was someone else's room just a short while ago, she thought to herself as she walked in. She set her bag and her case down, moving over to the bed and sitting on it. One of their team-mates slept here at night... Immediately noticing something was off, paranoid in her mind, she quickly turned on the light. She felt her heart-rate pick up even more and looked around her.
Just your imagination. Already doing this in your new room? They'll kick you out before you start your first day at this pace! Paranoid? Perhaps she was. But she did not like being in a room without keeping that light on. Any little shadow seemed to make her skin crawl. From what she used to do, in one year she had really sunken down. The darkness used to be on her side, she used to love it. But the fear of something inside it... that nightmare came to life.
"Time to unpack anyways," she murmured to herself, moving to set her stuffed animals on the bed, by the pillow. Her medicine was put off on the nightstand near the bed, keeping it close and such. It wasn't often that she ever really took it, being fit and fighting the terror of being near a shadow and nearly mentally flipping out when a shadow moved. After all, that was why she was here, right? To fight off that fear.
She put her clothes in the dresser, her laptop on the table and the charger nearby. Headset and wireless mouse were also set by it, liking her music and liking to have a mouse. A touch-pad always seemed too slow and annoyed her. Lexi finished it off with setting her pictures up by the widow, her dad's picture being directly by the bed on the nightstand, tilted towards the bed. Old man, if only you were here to scare off the monster under my bed this time. He's quite real now, you know. Reaper's still frightening, even with a name.
Moving to the table to start up her laptop, she gave a small sigh and pushed up her goggles as she typed in the password and started up her computer. Alexis moved to check if anything was new. A email from Kyo, a barrage of pictures from her mom. Nothing it seemed from Zlata. That's too bad. Girl's probably busy lifting up the entire building or something. When she was around the Russian woman, Lexi always teased her for being so strong and muscular. She probably could have made a rugby player think twice about going against her, probably three times.
Team Alpha...
That really was a weird thought to have in her mind. This was Team Alpha's wing that she was in. Really strange to think about indeed. Giving a quick, chirpy reply to both Kyo and her mother, Lexi shut her laptop and left the room, keeping the light on. Speed walking down the hall, she decided to go back to what she was previously doing before she had all this happen. Practicing shooting. She was actually trying to work on her reload time.
Pushing her goggles back down, making sure that she had her ammo with her, her hands gripped around the custom made handles of her pistols, a bit of a smirk on her lips as he looked at the target. At first, she told herself to imagine it was a Wraith Reaper. That made her jumpy and panicky, her shots horrible and not the best. So instead, she just tried to imagine it as a moving target. Which was what she was doing now.
Instead of shooting while standing still, she tended to shoot while moving around. Jumping, crouching, walking, jogging. She kept in motion and made sure to stay locked on her target. At first, it hadn't been easy. Thinking about the Wraith Reaper, however, when battling him... it... the creature would not be an easy target for her. It would probably not stand still or go down without a good fight. So instead, she focused on trying to hit a target while moving around. Be a mobile shooter.
The bullets didn't do a lot of damage from far away, she had noted. However, when mid-range to up close? They were lethal and the reaction out of the chemical components were absolutely amazing. Magnesium bullets were already a light show to begin with. But add a bit of silver with it? Oh, it was amazing to see before her eyes. Kind of made sense, if you thought about it. Shadowy wraith creature versus a bright quick turret of bullets.
Still, the issue of being able to face the thing... mentally preparing herself for that was... a different form of challenge. Lexi could practice all she wanted, she could shoot all she wanted. Pull off as many stunts or trick shots as she could master. None of that would matter if she couldn't hold her composure in front of her monster. And she was going to defeat it. She refused to do anything otherwise. The twenty-seven year old stayed that way, running around, practicing shooting different targets while mobile, hitting pretty good while doing so.
Her feet found their way back towards her old room, nearly reaching there before she remembered that she was in the Alpha Wing now. What a strange thought. To backtrack and go back towards the Alpha Wind, punching in the code and going to her room to take care of her pistols, dismantle the and make sure everything was in proper order before putting them back together and placing them in their case. Removing her holsters as well, she gave a small yawn and figured she would probably go for a quick run around the area and get used to a new path for every morning and evening that she'd take those runs.
But always... always, first... Lexi had to make sure that the lights were on and that they'd stay on. The dark was no longer her friend and she didn't want any part of being in the dark. Not yet. Maybe in a little while, after preparing herself for that time. Until then, she was going to sleep with the lights on. For the past year, she most definitely had.
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Post by ✦ ┇ W ι ɳ on Jun 8, 2017 4:06:02 GMT -5
Rhy Torres "My worlds turned upside down." For someone in a profession where loss was incredibly common, Rhy was certainly taking the blow much worse than one would expect. He wasn't a stranger to death, he could recall several times he came much too close to death's kiss, but somehow sauntered away before it was too late. Even in the Brazilian Armed Forces he had seen plenty of soldiers die, even friends pass on. People he had been trying to save in battle, or back at base had coded in front of him, he and seen the life leave a person's eyes more times than he cared to talk about, yet somehow this was different.
This loss left a metallic taste in his mouth, that he couldn't wash away. It was the blood of his friends. His family. In every way other than blood Jason and Darius had been part of his family. He and the rest of Team Alpha bled together, fought together, they knew each other's secrets and what made each other tick. It felt like losing a limb and it made Rhy want to yell at the sky for lack of anyone else to be angry with.
There was a darker piece of him that was weighed down with responsibility. The intrusive thoughts whispered to him as if they were a formed being standing just over his shoulder, lips pressed to his ear. All this training, best battlefield surgeon my ***. You couldn't protect them, the least you could have done was see up their mangled bodies. Useless useless useless. His own thoughts were his enemies and it took focus and practice to keep anything from forming from them. Alphonse had taught him to manage his demons, he wouldn't let his teams own again by allowing any to manifest.
After the incident, Rhy remained in his room for a majority of the time. It was rather uncharacteristic considering he was an extrovert, his energy built by being around his friends and communicating with others. Alone time usually just made him mopey, but it was to be expected. He couldn't be around his team for a few days for more than a few hours, the wounds were just too fresh for all of them.
Rhy was currently in his room still in nothing but his sweats as he lay flat on his back, his arms supported his head and is gazed at the ceiling as if by will alone he could move the drywall.
He hadn't slept much more than a few hours and in that time he couldn't stop himself from crying. His eye bags were much more noticeable and eyes slightly blood shot, his stubble was longer than he usually allowed. He only left his room to grab food and briefly check in on the surviving team members and their leader.
A large part of him wanted to seek comfort in Alphonse and Gale. He knew they would provide it, or at least give their best shot. He knew they wouldn't see his grief as weakness, so that was not what kept him in his room. It was shame and self-pity which where two of his least favorite traits. He felt responsible as much as he tried to convince himself he wasn't and he felt fragile which scared him. His front was all bright smiles and cheerful laughs, but in the end he still felt the negative emotions just as strongly as the others, he just bottled them up better.
He supposed he wasn't scared for them to see him like this, he trusted them wholeheartedly and they were just as distraught as him he was sure, but he didn't know if he could come to turns with his own grief. He hated loss, it was part of what made him an incredible medic, no matter the circumstances he never gave up.
Now he felt hopeless. Jason and Darius were as much a part of this team as he was and an essential part had been taken from them. He missed the teasing, they loved to joke around just as much as Rhy and it made lightening the mood easy.
Rhy knew he should emerge from his sulking, face the world for what it was- cruel, but still spinning. He needed to talk to his friends, see if they were alright and if the Council was already itching to replace their fallen comrades.
The worn leather watch on his wrist ticked rhythmically. The sound centered him and he took a few deep breaths before he forced himself to sit up. He had only eaten a little when he body forced him to leave the room in search of food and the remains of oatmeal and half an apple sat on his desk. He ran his hands over his face then through his hair and grabbed a shirt to pull on so he was at least moderately presentable.
He grabbed his flask and took a long pull. He didn't usually keep it on him, he liked to stay sharp especially in the field, but special times called for special circumstances which in this case was alcohol. Rhy gave his teeth a quick brush and considered himself in the mirror for a moment. He tried a smile in the mirror, but it was so fake he was concerned it might crack the reflective surface. He gave it another shot. Better.
Once he could muster a more genuine smile he took another quick swig of the flask and ventured out of his room for the first time in a while.
It didn't take him long to find Gale. The man was fiddling with his sniper rifle, Gale's prized possession which was crafted by Jason himself. It made Rhy's heart ache, but surely not as much as Gale's.
"Hey." Rhy stood beside Gale outside their supervisor's door, He opened his mouth to speak, to say anything else, but he couldn't find the words. It was unusual for him, he nearly always had something to talk about or joke about and he was prone to word vomit in awkward situations. He felt that whatever he could think up would somehow be wrong in Gale's eyes and he didn't know how to comfort him any better than he knew how to comfort himself.
"How are you doing?" He decided on, for lack of anything better. What he wanted to do was give him a hug, the kind that spoke the words and fears he couldn't form to words, but he knew Gale wasn't a fan of contact and he didn't want to invade his space for his own selfish comfort.
Rhy paused a few beats longer before he added. "Have you heard from Alphonse?" It was a stupid question, considering they were outside his door so this was either Gale's first time going to speak with him, or they had spoken previously. By choosing to seclude himself, Rhy had missed out on both the news of the new rookies being assigned so quickly and their team being benched until the rookies were trained. The information would be another blow in itself.
(This turned into a rambling mess itself, I hope it's alright tho lol, also plz excuse typos and any odd sentences I'm tired and typing on my iPad is 80x worse with tired fingers)
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Post by ✦ ┇ W ι ɳ on Jun 8, 2017 4:07:51 GMT -5
Oh crud there were more posts while I was writing mine o.o I edited! Hope it makes sense lol night friends see ya tmr
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Post by L’Éᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ on Jun 8, 2017 4:45:00 GMT -5
Alphonse Fournier "You can't break something that's already broken." - ♠ - In the safety of his bedroom he was at liberty to fall apart, to break down, and to give up. He had every right to cry, to scream, to break everything he loved. Nothing seemed to make sense, after all. Every good man they ever had out there died, people who deserved to live and have long, happy and prosperous lives faded into nothingness as if they never existed in the first place. Their sacrifices would fade away in time, never to be remembered as heroes for the service they had done for this world.
What a terribly cruel place the world turned out to be to individuals who served with a lionheart's pride. And to those like him, built to survive and cowardly by nature, it allowed them to survive and thrive in a world where the good were punished. It was times like these where he desperately craved a cigarette... or five. Anything to keep back the nausea and aching pain in his chest.
Out there, in the eyes of The Order he could do no wrong. He was a man of powerful demeanor, always appearing unaffected. But they didn't know the terrible truth. He couldn't fall apart because he was already broken, fragmented in so many pieces he couldn't even make them out had he tried. But oh, he tried. He always tried. He tried so hard to gather the pieces up and keep them together if only for the others.
But now he had failed them, he had failed both Darius and Jason. Lowering his head into his hands, he sat there, face cupped in his hands as he fought to keep the terrible thoughts at bay. It always came back here. No matter how hard he fought, no matter how far he ran, it would always return to haunt him. After all, Darius and Jason were not the first casualties to his inadequacy.
- - -
His bedroom was colder than he ever remembered it being. It was as if the life had been drained of his body, everything felt unnaturally cold as the candle light illuminated his room in a weak glow. The flame flickered upon his desk casting the room in hazy oranges and pale yellows. Somehow with the aid of the flames, the room only seemed darker. He knew, almost immediately, that he was not alone. Glancing up he looked into a perfect reflection of himself, but it seemed every part more like the man people knew him to be than he did. It made a much more impressionable Alphonse Fournier. He was just a shell. A desolate and broken man unworthy of the praise and love he had received over the years.
His voice sounded foreign to his ears even as he stared numbly at the thief wearing his face, weary and exhausted, "It's been awhile, hasn't it?"
The smile that it gave him was haunting and for the first time in years, he felt afraid. He had always known fear, the taste of it familiar and welcoming, but now it was an enemy. A reminder of everything he had lost and everyone he had failed. It looked at him, sharp eyes far too cunning for his liking even as he watched it. Exhausted as he was, he moved slowly and carefully to wrap his fingers around his balisong. Every part of him knew well he had to do what was expected of him. He had to fight it. But another part of him wanted to give in, let it win and damn the consequences. "I've missed you," the words were a perversion coming from those lips.
It's smile was a terrible, ugly thing. Was his smile always that awful? It was full of malice and hate, cruel and unwelcoming. "You know," the creature was every bit like him to such an extent that it made him sick to look at it, "he loved you."
And that had been it. The final straw. It could never bring itself to care about the small trivialities, the importance that Amihan had stressed that their gender was not male or female. That they were in fact, agender, never finding themself to belong to either categorization.
This creature would not care about the people outside the door. It would keep that malicious grin stitched upon it's face and it would rip the beating hearts out of every single person who trusted in him. And he had been almost willing for that to happen, because he would be dead and no longer responsible for whatever happened next.
There was nothing graceful about what happened next. Though many would commend him to have the grace of a dancer when he was engaged in combat, the fight that ensued was nothing short of messy, desperate, and bloody. It had known, of course it would know, that he was going to strike. It was every part identical to him, even in every single field, but with one great weakness and one great strength. It felt nothing. It had no regrets, no hesitations, and it had done what he so desperately wanted to do.
But it reacted to titanium the way potassium reacted to water, catastrophic and explosive. Each blow to his body, painful as it was, reminded him this was a fight he could not lose. It seemed that these days, every fight was a fight he couldn't lose. Yet... his hand on his blade faltered, yet he had lost the fight where Amihan had died. It was atop him now, grin wide and cruel.
It was almost strange to see his knife in it's hands, sizzling and burning away, but undeterred as the knife descended down. For a moment, he didn't feel like he was there anymore, but he was just a spectator before he returned to the grim reality of the situation as he knocked the thief away, throwing it's aim off. The blade buried deep into his shoulder and he bit back a scream of pain as he kicked it back, pulling the knife out in a careless motion.
That was when the first knock echoed on his door. "Alphonse! What's wrong?!" They must have heard the commotion.
It grinned at him then, slowly moving to sit up. "Are they calling to you or to me?" The words were enough for him to draw deep, reminding himself of what it was he fought for. Dragging himself to his feet, he had thrown caution out the window. If he were to die here, like this, killing this thing that was only here because of him he supposed it wouldn't be such a bad way to go.
With adrenaline pumping through his veins, he saw nothing but the ugly smile looking back at him. He couldn't make out the desperate yells outside his door, he didn't notice the way the door rattled. Launching himself at the creature, he wrestled desperate to get the upper hand and somehow, by the skin on his teeth he had been lucky enough to slice through its soft stomach muscles. A scream escaped it and the door was thrown wide open just as the knife sunk right into it's larynx, a sizzle of flame scorching against the false flesh as blood ran in black streaks down the side of it's throat. And it terrified him, that simple thought that monsters could bleed.
The light flooded into the room and he found himself staring down at its blank eyes, hands covered in black blood. He felt the hands close in on him, but the nausea and exhaustion that followed once the adrenaline faded stopped him from fighting the arms pulling him in close.
Even as the darkness claimed him he could recall Luo Jing's voice, reassuring and soft in his ears, "It's okay. It's over. It's over."
- - -
It was the knock that had brought him back to the present with a start. Sitting up almost far too quickly, he found his heart in his throat and his pulse far too quick. His breathing was ragged even as his pupils began to make out the familiar layout of his bedroom. He had been in his bedroom when that happened. Drawing in long breaths, he gently knocked his head back against the wall once again. The dull pain reminded him that he was here. This was now. That was then. That was over.
Closing his eyes and counting to ten to ground himself, he breathed in slowly, held his breath to three, and exhaled slowly. Repeating the procedure until his pulse had steadied, he turned his head slightly to glance at the door. Idly he wondered who was outside it. Considering that Oswell probably had seen enough of him for one day, it was easy to mark her off the list.
He hadn't heard loud footsteps, so it was most likely Gale. But then again, he wasn't exactly here when they had approached. So he supposed he could be wrong, but whoever it was he knew instinctively it was one of his veterans. Sighing as exhaustion overtook him he turned his head away from the door.
Far too tired to find it in himself to stand up and receive his guest, he called out instead, voice surprisingly steady everything considered, "Come in." He didn't even bother to fix his loosened tie as he kept his eyes carefully focused on an opened deck of cards on his desk that had been left there before the mission. It was still there after the mission.
Strange how they had placed their items down, almost expecting to resume their activities once the job was finished. And the cards were still there, but Darius and Jason wasn't. Strange indeed.
Glancing at the unexpected, but not unwelcomed visitors he eyed Gale and Rhy. So he had been far more out of it that he had first assumed. Regardless, he didn't need to keep up appearances here. His exhaustion was almost palpable anyhow, and keeping up a front was becoming almost as exhausting as trying to pretend everything was okay and that nothing had changed. That life would move on even if Darius and Jason was gone. His eyes did not miss the bottle of Red Grand Marcus wine they had with them.
Good. He could actually do with getting drunk right about now, rookies be damned.
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Post by L’Éᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ on Jun 8, 2017 5:01:09 GMT -5
Ahhh Rhy bby, it's k. Ur family is here for u, but also, lol. I'm laughing. Dad + sons decided "yes, now is an optimal time to get drunk". i'M LITEARLLY IN STITCHES.
Also I greatly regret the flashback. It hurts me, but whatever. THe deed has been DONE
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2017 8:36:51 GMT -5
Gale Amari "Every solution to every problem is simple. It's the distance between the two wherein the mystery lies." | ◙ |
The appearance of Rhy wasn't quite a surprise, but he wasn't expecting it, either. Gale blinked and glanced up at the other man, taking in his appearance for a few seconds. He looked raw and wrecked, just like he felt. It took him a couple of moments to consider that maybe, just maybe, the other man was blaming himself. Just like Gale was doing. God, they were a mess.
"Hey," he greeted in return, "yeah. I spoke to him this morning. Sort-of."
It had been interrupted every five seconds, but that was to be expected. They were moving rookies in, there was no other choice than to work around it. Life went on, even if their family had been broken into pieces. The remaining veterans could try their best to fix themselves and each-other, could use each-other as crutches. They would be okay.
He entered when Al's voice rang out, and did not show a hint of expression at the man's appearance. It was understandable, and hell, he'd been even more disheveled. Had been laying in the living area with his pajamas on and uncombed hair - who did that? Gale, apparently. He tapped the door lightly with his foot to close it, glanced briefly at the cards. They hugged at his heart and he paused for almost an entire minute before he made his way across the room, choosing to sit cross-legged on the floor. Just because. It was a thing he had always done - people were on the seats in the living area? Sit on the floor. Kitchen occupied? Sit on the floor. It was automatic for him to be as small and unassuming as possible, to never bother people. He was not a shy person, but hell if he hadn't been brought up to fear people.
"I bring wine," he said, holding up the bottle. "I don't have glasses, though."
Gale was holding the bottle, in a way, towards Alphonse - a quiet offering for the supervisor to take it. Maybe read the label or something. He didn't know what French people did. They were the experts on wine, right? Maybe he was thinking of something else, but he was pretty sure that Al would be decent with wine. Hell, he seemed to be good at just about everything that Gale had seen him do. It was impressive, and something he enjoyed focusing on at this moment in time.
To be quite honest, he wasn't sure why getting drunk hadn't been his first instinct. Because he had been raised in a Muslim household? His father had been pretty firm about the no alcohol prohibition, and even if Gale didn't hold those beliefs any longer, even if his mother had taught him that it was okay to not follow the orders of his father, it still didn't remain a first thought. He didn't drink often, and when he did, it was hard and fast and to drown himself rather than think about his worries.
So yeah, he supposed he was prone to drinking too much. They could all do with it, though, and he knew that - from Rhy's worn down look to Al's admissions. He was sick of feeling pained and flicking through every single memory, and he wanted it to end.
"I, for one, think that it's a brilliant idea to have this and whatever else we have. I guess it's irresponsible or whatever, but I'm the epitome of it," he shrugged idly. It wasn't entirely true. He was not the sort of irresponsible to put other's lives in danger - he was the sort of irresponsible to drink just a little too much, to leave food in the oven for too long (he didn't forget, he just got distracted). There was a fine line between dangerous irresponsibility and safe, and he was pretty sure he was well within boundaries. "Plus, this is the good Egyptian stuff. No French wine in my house, Fournier."
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Post by ѕρσттεdѕнιммεя on Jun 8, 2017 17:53:15 GMT -5
[ the last thing that lexi needs to do is snoop around, so i'll wait on a reply. ]
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