Post by The Noble Dragon on Apr 8, 2017 15:07:10 GMT -5
Hello! This is an archived discussion from the thread: Let it out
The discussion of the week was Kindness
Even though this is an archive that doesn't mean in any way that you can't add your own thoughts and contribute to the discussion! It's important to keep talking about these subjects and activley thinking critically of our own actions and thoughts. This topic was very important during September through November of 2016 because there were a lot of people who weren't being kind on the forums. Please feel free to continue the discussion! I'll check back every once in a while to see who has commented.
Here are what people discussed:
Lately we have noticed that there has been a lot of unnecessary drama and flame wars on the forums and I feel that that a) doesn't reflect well on us as a community and Just isn't healthy in keeping a positive outlook and safe environment here on the forums.
There shouldn't have to be threads who's sole purpose it to be a safe place away from the drama and anger. I understand having important debates and disliking other members for various reasons. But that doesn't mean you guys have to start giant Flame Wars over a sentence another member said that might have been taken the wrong way (Not saying that they are all misunderstandings)! It makes me very angry and upset to see a bunch of members seeming to circle threads just so they can attack like a pack of sharks because someone doesn't share your veiwpoint or isn't as educated on a subject or had an experience that goes against what you think.
Everyone on here is supposed to be at or over 13 years old. Act like it. I'm not saying don't discuss topic that are important or need to be talked about. I'm saying to do it in a civil and kind way. Caps locking or attacking a member directly doesn't help your cause! It just makes everyone look immature and like you aren't able to have a decent discussion! Give facts, experiences and say them in a non threatening non passive aggressive tone. Don't attack others on what they think but educate them on your view and listen to theirs. Then everyone can learn something and get along!
That aside let me talk about being Kind to others.
Yes, I know, sounds like Kindergarten and those 6 pillars of character or something.
Contrary to popular belief, it is EXTREMELY hard to be kind to others. I don't know if humanity just has this aversion to peace and is drawn to always finding conflict, but either way it is so hard to be kind to everyone and so easy to be mean or rude to others, especially online when chatting to other people. It's because you can't see the other person's face and they can't see yours. Even if they know your name there's still that note of being anonymous and them being nothing more than an icon and a screen name to you makes it so easy to be mean and rude. There have been so many times I have wanted to say something really rude to a member or kick them out of a thread because something they did really bothered me.
But I didn't. I stopped, and looked not at the member's icon or screenname but past that, at the person sitting on the otherside of the computer. That someone who lives a completely different life than I do, that someone who is a different age than me and has a different family than I do. And I realize that it isn't just another member I'm talking to, it's another Human Being who could be going through something that I don't know about or just doesn't have the experience that I do with life. And as hard as it is sometimes I be kind and instead of yelling at them I just gently explain to them what's up or ignore the nit picky thing that was bothering me.
People seem to think that those who are kind are weak. But try being kind to someone you "hate" and you'll get a glimpse of how strong they really are.
Some of us on here are older members and older people. We have more life experience and maturity than some of the younger people on here. So don't expect everyone to be as mature as you because that happens in their own time. Set the example and be gentle. Ignore Trolls. Ignore Flame Wars. And ignore Drama. The anger and the feeling of dissatisfaction isn't worth it. Don't give our community a bad name, don't give others a reason to leave just because of the drama. Remember that everyone is a person and is entitled to their own beliefs, as much as you or I may disagree on them. Be kind. Be nice. And we can all have fun.
I know that rant was a little heavy and specific but I think it needed to be said.
Another thing on kindness too, is that we tend to build bad habits. A lot of us spend a good chunk of our time on these forums. If we are constantly surrounded by negativity, hate, no respect or kindness and fighting, what does that teach us in the real world? It almost makes it seem alright because on the internet you can get away with it, but it is no different in person, or on the Internet. Like Deamon said, there is a person behind every screen. We don't know what their lives are like? What they go through? Respect. Kindness. Don't judge a person, fight them, disrespect their opinions because you don't know the way they may feel that way. You wanna have a civil conversation about a topic, go for it, but respect. People come on here as a safety place, a refuge maybe from a place that they are not treated with kindness, only in turn to be treated poorly again? It's not right. And you would think all of us being here, would be able to understand that we are all different. Just be kind to everyone! It makes the world a better place(:
Our topic this week for discussion is kindness. The topic es very broad, so I would like to zone in on acts of kindness. Acts of kindness can range from holding the door for someone, helping someone carry their things if you notice they are struggling, smiling at someone, saying hello or asking how their day was, listening and being their when they need someone, inviting someone to sit with you or join in with you if you notice they are lonely, complimenting someone, picking things up for someone if they drop it ect ect. The list goes on and on and they can be anything small or large. No matter the size of the task, these acts of kindness can make someone day. Someone could have been having a terrible day, or dreading something but having you there to help them or show them that someone out there cares, it feels good to not only them, but also to you. An act of kindness can really go a long way.
For me in particular, I've always been the quiet and shy type, but strangely enough, I am also the one who, whenever I notice someone sitting alone, or without a partner or left out, I go to them and talk to them and make them feel like they are part of something and the happiness it brings to their faces is the greatest thing. There was this girl at my school who was in my grade. She used to be my neighbor and when we were young, me, my sis, our other neighbor and her would hang out. Well, this girl didn't have any friends aside from us and she grew especially close to this other neighbor of ours. This neighbor moved away and this girl was left alone. Throughout the years, she was bullied and picked on because she was quiet and different and they make fun of what she wore and it was just sad. We weren't in any of the same classes, but at lunch, I always made sure to invite her to our table and talk to her and make her feel welcome and she just was so happy to have someone talk to her. One day, I asked her when her birthday was and she was confused and she was like why do you need to know my birthday? And I was like so I could send you a birthday card and she almost started crying. Her response was the most genuine smile ever "No one has ever sent me a birthday card before" and I myself, wanted to cry. It's just moments like that that can really make someone's day. Something so small like that, reminds you that there is still some good out in this world (:
I have plenty more stories, but too much to tell lol
The discussion of the week was Kindness
Even though this is an archive that doesn't mean in any way that you can't add your own thoughts and contribute to the discussion! It's important to keep talking about these subjects and activley thinking critically of our own actions and thoughts. This topic was very important during September through November of 2016 because there were a lot of people who weren't being kind on the forums. Please feel free to continue the discussion! I'll check back every once in a while to see who has commented.
Here are what people discussed:
So the discussion of the week is Kindness and there's a reason for that.
Lately we have noticed that there has been a lot of unnecessary drama and flame wars on the forums and I feel that that a) doesn't reflect well on us as a community and Just isn't healthy in keeping a positive outlook and safe environment here on the forums.
There shouldn't have to be threads who's sole purpose it to be a safe place away from the drama and anger. I understand having important debates and disliking other members for various reasons. But that doesn't mean you guys have to start giant Flame Wars over a sentence another member said that might have been taken the wrong way (Not saying that they are all misunderstandings)! It makes me very angry and upset to see a bunch of members seeming to circle threads just so they can attack like a pack of sharks because someone doesn't share your veiwpoint or isn't as educated on a subject or had an experience that goes against what you think.
Everyone on here is supposed to be at or over 13 years old. Act like it. I'm not saying don't discuss topic that are important or need to be talked about. I'm saying to do it in a civil and kind way. Caps locking or attacking a member directly doesn't help your cause! It just makes everyone look immature and like you aren't able to have a decent discussion! Give facts, experiences and say them in a non threatening non passive aggressive tone. Don't attack others on what they think but educate them on your view and listen to theirs. Then everyone can learn something and get along!
That aside let me talk about being Kind to others.
Yes, I know, sounds like Kindergarten and those 6 pillars of character or something.
Contrary to popular belief, it is EXTREMELY hard to be kind to others. I don't know if humanity just has this aversion to peace and is drawn to always finding conflict, but either way it is so hard to be kind to everyone and so easy to be mean or rude to others, especially online when chatting to other people. It's because you can't see the other person's face and they can't see yours. Even if they know your name there's still that note of being anonymous and them being nothing more than an icon and a screen name to you makes it so easy to be mean and rude. There have been so many times I have wanted to say something really rude to a member or kick them out of a thread because something they did really bothered me.
But I didn't. I stopped, and looked not at the member's icon or screenname but past that, at the person sitting on the otherside of the computer. That someone who lives a completely different life than I do, that someone who is a different age than me and has a different family than I do. And I realize that it isn't just another member I'm talking to, it's another Human Being who could be going through something that I don't know about or just doesn't have the experience that I do with life. And as hard as it is sometimes I be kind and instead of yelling at them I just gently explain to them what's up or ignore the nit picky thing that was bothering me.
People seem to think that those who are kind are weak. But try being kind to someone you "hate" and you'll get a glimpse of how strong they really are.
Some of us on here are older members and older people. We have more life experience and maturity than some of the younger people on here. So don't expect everyone to be as mature as you because that happens in their own time. Set the example and be gentle. Ignore Trolls. Ignore Flame Wars. And ignore Drama. The anger and the feeling of dissatisfaction isn't worth it. Don't give our community a bad name, don't give others a reason to leave just because of the drama. Remember that everyone is a person and is entitled to their own beliefs, as much as you or I may disagree on them. Be kind. Be nice. And we can all have fun.
I know that rant was a little heavy and specific but I think it needed to be said.
Honestly, everything you said 100% right on. I was actually just having a convo with my friend a few ago on a topic like such
Another thing on kindness too, is that we tend to build bad habits. A lot of us spend a good chunk of our time on these forums. If we are constantly surrounded by negativity, hate, no respect or kindness and fighting, what does that teach us in the real world? It almost makes it seem alright because on the internet you can get away with it, but it is no different in person, or on the Internet. Like Deamon said, there is a person behind every screen. We don't know what their lives are like? What they go through? Respect. Kindness. Don't judge a person, fight them, disrespect their opinions because you don't know the way they may feel that way. You wanna have a civil conversation about a topic, go for it, but respect. People come on here as a safety place, a refuge maybe from a place that they are not treated with kindness, only in turn to be treated poorly again? It's not right. And you would think all of us being here, would be able to understand that we are all different. Just be kind to everyone! It makes the world a better place(:
While I have the time;
Our topic this week for discussion is kindness. The topic es very broad, so I would like to zone in on acts of kindness. Acts of kindness can range from holding the door for someone, helping someone carry their things if you notice they are struggling, smiling at someone, saying hello or asking how their day was, listening and being their when they need someone, inviting someone to sit with you or join in with you if you notice they are lonely, complimenting someone, picking things up for someone if they drop it ect ect. The list goes on and on and they can be anything small or large. No matter the size of the task, these acts of kindness can make someone day. Someone could have been having a terrible day, or dreading something but having you there to help them or show them that someone out there cares, it feels good to not only them, but also to you. An act of kindness can really go a long way.
For me in particular, I've always been the quiet and shy type, but strangely enough, I am also the one who, whenever I notice someone sitting alone, or without a partner or left out, I go to them and talk to them and make them feel like they are part of something and the happiness it brings to their faces is the greatest thing. There was this girl at my school who was in my grade. She used to be my neighbor and when we were young, me, my sis, our other neighbor and her would hang out. Well, this girl didn't have any friends aside from us and she grew especially close to this other neighbor of ours. This neighbor moved away and this girl was left alone. Throughout the years, she was bullied and picked on because she was quiet and different and they make fun of what she wore and it was just sad. We weren't in any of the same classes, but at lunch, I always made sure to invite her to our table and talk to her and make her feel welcome and she just was so happy to have someone talk to her. One day, I asked her when her birthday was and she was confused and she was like why do you need to know my birthday? And I was like so I could send you a birthday card and she almost started crying. Her response was the most genuine smile ever "No one has ever sent me a birthday card before" and I myself, wanted to cry. It's just moments like that that can really make someone's day. Something so small like that, reminds you that there is still some good out in this world (:
I have plenty more stories, but too much to tell lol