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Post by ɪɴᴛʀᴀɴꜱɪɢᴇɴᴛ on Aug 3, 2018 0:43:02 GMT -5
Cassiopeia heaved a sigh of relief as Eli came back into consciousness, slowly lowering his legs. She then moved to help him sit up a bit, pausing to snatch the phone from Ryder.
”Ry, I am 911. Calm down,” She said sharply, pocketing his phone as she helped Eli up a little, supporting his back with her arm, hugging him slightly, rubbing his shoulder gently. Shelistened to the back and forth, finally catching Ry’s gaze and giving him a look she rarely used but that clearly meant shut up.
”Eli does not need to just rush to the hospital right this minute. What he needs is to come sit Nd let me see if I can figure it out because the hospital visits aren’t cheap, Ry,” She said, getting Eli up and over to the couch with a bottle of water. She turned to Ry, stretching up to kiss his cheek.
”Sorry for snapping. Help Haze, please,” She sighed, returning to Eli. She sat down next to him, quiet until the ofhers were out of earshot.
”So, what do you have? Pneumonia again? Bronchitis? Plantar Fascitis?” She said, attempting to smile but her expression was too somber for it to reach her gaze. She knew.
Hazel, on the other hand, had no clue. And right now, she was about to panic. So, to calm she took deep breaths, carefully picking upthe shards and disposing of them. She heard as Ry and Eli argued, face paling slightly. They couldn’t afford anymore hospital bills, really. Not so soon. And then she heard Ry’s voice, making her stop cold in her tracks.
”Second time this week”.
How many other times had this happened, before this week? Her heart began to race, knees trembling as she swallowed back the bile rising in her throat. She needed some release soon, or she was going to explode.
”I’m going to hurl,” She announced calmly and quietly to no one in particular, face slightly gray tinged as she marched to the bathroom and did exactly that. She hadn’t realized she’d started crying until she was finished and rinsing her mouth, water dribbling down her chin slightly. She swiped at her face, staring. She didn’t even recognize herself, still feeing like her ashen-colored self was going to explode any second.
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Post by 𝒞'𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝐿𝒶 𝒱𝒾𝑒 on Aug 3, 2018 4:01:01 GMT -5
Eli had great insurance, at least. Both him and ry did through work, so there wasn’t as much anxiety there anymore. Ryder took a deep breath as cass talked, still staring at Eli. Something wasn’t right, and Ryder was going to worry until he was told what was going on with his friend.
But at least Ryder listened, relaxing a little and turning to go find hazel.
Eli couldn’t respond right away, picking at the back of his hand and not looking at cass, his voice surprisingly even. “Lung cancer. I start chemo in a couple of days but right now they can’t operate. “ he said, taking as deep of a breath as he could. “If... if treatment doesn’t work I’ve got until March roughly.”
Ryder had gotten hazel a glass of water and some crackers to help settle her stomach, patiently waiting outside the bathroom door for her. After a moment he knocked and cracked the door open, setting the items on the counter. He gave her a gentle smile, seeming calmer now. “Hey. It’ll be okay. He’s probably just a little tired. “ he hesitated, debating his next words. “If you’re going to vomit again I can like, hold your hair or something. “
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Post by ɪɴᴛʀᴀɴꜱɪɢᴇɴᴛ on Aug 6, 2018 18:53:14 GMT -5
Cassiopeia was still, completely silent for a moment. And then she lurched forward, throwing her arms around Eli and crushing him to her chest. She said nothing for a long moment, just holding one of her best friends to her. She remembered meeting Eli, how small the boy had been.
Kindergarten was a strange time for Cassiopeia. She never quite fit in, being about a foot taller than all the other kids. She was always off doing her own thing, kind of off in her world. But, she began to get lonely, sitting by herself day after day. Until one day, she found herself staring at someone across from her.
The kid had been small but athletic, with a warm smile and bright eyes. She had smiled, suddenly shy, staring at her food. After watching her for a moment, the kid grinned through a PB&J, holding out his bag of pretzels.
”Want some?” “But they’re your pretzels.” “I can’t eat them all, and I think you’re a pretzel person.” “Okay...thanks.” “My name’s Eli.” “My name’s Cassiopeia.” “Can I call you Cass?” “You don’t have to twist my arm.” Cass had joked, holding up the pretzel for emphasis. Eli had laghed.
And so, 3 pretzels and 5 jokes later, Cass had made a friend.
She finally pulled back, taking his hands and squeezing them, giving him a wavering smile.
”Alright, I’m here for you. Does Hazel know?” She asked, voice lowered as more concern filtered back into her features.
Hazel certainly did not know, but she was starting to get an inkling. A hunch. A feeling. That something was very gravely wrong. She swallowed, flicking her gaze to Ry, eyebrows knit together in concern. She licked her lips nervously, gratefully nodding at him as she reached for the water. She attempted to smile at his comment, but she couldn’t, instead drawing the glass to her lips and downing it quickly. She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, setting the glass down with trembling hands.
”I just…I wish he would talk to me,” She choked out, looking like she either needed a drink or a hug. Or maybe, both.
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Post by 𝒞'𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝐿𝒶 𝒱𝒾𝑒 on Aug 6, 2018 19:03:40 GMT -5
Eli looked like he might just cry, holding onto cass as tight as he could until she pulled away. “No, she doesn’t know. Please don’t tell her or Ryder. I know that I should, that they’ll be supportive and everything but I can’t handle the pity right now, y’know?” He said through a little breath. “I can’t handle being taken off of field work and everybody hovering all the time. “ Elijah explained, letting go of cass and leaning back into the couch, scrubbing a hand over his face.
Ryder gave her a gentle smile. “I know, but he’s super stubborn. He would tell you if something was really wrong though, I know that. He’ll tell you when he’s ready. “ Ryder offed, settling down next to her.
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Post by ɪɴᴛʀᴀɴꜱɪɢᴇɴᴛ on Aug 6, 2018 19:34:57 GMT -5
Cassiopeia’s expression mirrored Eli’s, unsure if she was going to burst into tears or hurl. She swallowed hard, nodding solemnly, grabbing his hands and leaning forward, locking her gaze with his.
”I swear, I won’t say a word. Pretzel Pal’s Honor,” She attempted to joke, a small smile itching at but not quite reaching her gaze. She cleared her throat, growing serious.
”So, what time is your chemo appointment?” She asked, shifting to sit beside him, legs curled up beneath her as she shifted to face him, still holding one of his hands.
Hazel sighed, sinking down and placing her face into her hands, sighing and shaking her head slightly. She knew all too well how stubborn her lovable boyfriend could be. She was still before shifting, leaning her head onto Ry’s shoulder, face still covered and knees still drawn to her chest.
”I wish he was ready now, but I can’t blame him. It must be…serious enough that he can’t find the words,” She spoke through her trembling fingers, voice muffled as she took a shuddering sigh inwards, struggling to ground herself a bit.
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Post by 𝒞'𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝐿𝒶 𝒱𝒾𝑒 on Aug 6, 2018 20:13:13 GMT -5
Eli managed a weak, Geary eyed smile, squeezing cass’ hand. “Thank you, Cass. It’s, uh, it’s nice to tell somebody. “ he said softly, before he kept talking. “First one is Monday morning. I don’t know how to explain why I won’t be at work on Monday. And hazel. Holy crap I don’t know how to handle it-“ Eli cut himself off and shook his head. “I’m sorry. This is a lot to put on you. I didn’t know how to handle it when my mom died and I don’t know how to handle it now. “
Ryder rubbed her back in an attempt to be comforting. While he hoped it wasn’t serious, he knew that Eli only bottled up the serious things. Something was horribly wrong, and he didn’t know how to stop it. How was he supposed to get Eli to open up and tell them what was wrong? Not only was Eli putting himself in danger, it put his partner in danger too. There was a lot to consider. “He’ll be okay, Haze. “
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Post by ɪɴᴛʀᴀɴꜱɪɢᴇɴᴛ on Aug 6, 2018 20:58:04 GMT -5
Cass squeezed his hand tightly, shushing him gently and shaking her head, taking a deep breath, thinking. She nodded slightly, forming a plan.
”Okay, I’m going to tell Ry that I think it’s pneumonia again and that I texted my boss and made you a priority appointment for the time of your chemo,” She said, nodding, eyes on his as she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him to her chest once more.
Haze shuddered slightly, nodding and pulling her hands from her face, swallowing and coughing slightly, leaning further into him.
”Thanks Ry, I appreciate it. I’m sure it’s just pneumonia again, and he’ll go on antibiotics, or something,” She sighed, shaking her head and looking down, feeling tears welling in her eyes. Most people didn’t get pneumonia twice, so close together and severe, and survive.
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Post by 𝒞'𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝐿𝒶 𝒱𝒾𝑒 on Aug 6, 2018 21:09:32 GMT -5
Eli nodded in understanding, all but collapsing against her. He was terrified, if he was honest. Him and hazel we’re doing great, everything was finally in a good spot for everybody and now he was dying. Everything about this sucked. “Thank you, Cass. You’re a great friend. I don’t tell you that enough. “ he said in a soft voice, taking a deep breath and wiping at his eyes in attempts to dry them.
Ryder kept his comforting smile even if he didn’t feel like Eli would be okay. “Yeah, most likely. Hayes will let him take time off to recover, he’ll be okay. Eli tends to over work himself, Yeah. But eventually he realizes that he needs to stop somewhere. Cass is taking care of him. “ Ryder murmured, trying to shove his anxiety further down.
--
A week had passed since Eli's fainting incident, and while he had taken the day off for chemo, he didn't take any other time off of work. Eli felt horrible, dark circles under his eyes. He had already lost weight, and he was always tired. Not to mention the vomiting and the coughing up blood all the time. All he wanted to do was sleep, and he still hadn't talked to anybody besides Cass about it.
Ryder had already started taking on more of Eli's work. He wasn't sure if he bought the pneumonia story, Eli hadn't looked this rough even when he was sick over the winter, but he didn't argue with Cass, and he didn't question Eli. All he could do was take on the extra work and hope that Eli took the hint and got some rest. So far, Eli hadn't taken the hint, but Ry had caught him sleeping at his desk a few times. It terrified Ryder. He had noticed the bloody tissues in the trash can, noticed the pained expressions Eli got from time to time. Ry was half tempted to just drive the boy to the hospital and pay the medical bills himself, but he couldn't overstep. Not yet, at least.
Of course, while the boys were at work, Ryder doing all the heavy lifting and most of the paperwork, since Eli had the attention span of a goldfish today, Hazel's phone started to ring. The Hospital's caller id popped up on the screen, and as soon as she answered, the person on the other line began talking. They were new, and dumb, and had called the wrong phone number listed. "Hello, Elijah Reid? I'm calling from Saint John's hospital, to schedule you're next chemotherapy appointment."
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Post by ɪɴᴛʀᴀɴꜱɪɢᴇɴᴛ on Oct 23, 2018 16:50:42 GMT -5
Cass said nothing, for there were no words to express what she was feeling. What are you supposed to say when your best friend starts dying? She just shushed him, holding tightly for a moment before pulling back. She pecked his cheek before patting it, pulling away to go get him some more water.
Hazel said nothing, merely nodding in agreement. No one worked harder than Eli, and she felt immense guilt that he was getting sick again. She didn't do enough from him, no wonder he wouldn't tell her what was wrong. So she swallowed her guilt, closed her eyes, and just sat there, waiting for the tides in her stomach to stop swirling.
--
Cass constantly had her phone at her at work, running off to a corner during her shift to take Eli's calls. She was there during the appointment, holding his hand in place of Hazel. She knew the doctor well, and was able to reassure Eli that he was the best. She had interned a whole summer with him, after all. She listened carefully, retaining all th information and writing up a list for Eli to follow for medication and such, that way Hazel wouldn't have to be involved. Not until Eli was ready to tell her.
Unfortunately, Eli didn't get the chance to be ready.
Hazel was at work when the phone rang. Already, the day had been off to a rough start, with rain soaking her on the walk from the subway to the office as she had forgotten her umbrella. Her hair, which she had straightened for the conference, had begun to frizz and wave up, and she had spilled coffee on her blouse, meaning that she had to wear her blazer all day, even though the office was a million degrees. She was just not having a good time. So, when the phone rang, she picked up on the second ring, sinking tiredly into her chair behind her desk. "Good afternoon," She sighed.
And then, time seemed to slow down as soon as she heard Eli's full name. She froze, holding her breath as the word chemotherapy echoed in her ear, tinny and distant. She swallowed, gasping slightly, at a loss for words, everything blurring around her. She was grateful she was already sitting down. "I'm sorry, could you repeat that please? I'm not sure I heard you right," She finally choked out, feeling as if someone were stabbing her in the chest. She listened as the woman patiently repeated herself, going silent once more.
"I'm sorry, he's unavailable right now. Can he call back later? Thanks," She spoke calmly, hanging up as soon as the woman on the other end gave her the okay. She set her phone down, and then sat there for a moment, struggling to breath. There was just...there was no way. What were the odds that both of them would have a cancer scare so soon? Except...Except his isn't just a scare, because he's going for another appointment, which means his is...
"Real," She finished her train of thought aloud, swallowing hard, staring at her phone. Wishing it would ring and the hospital would call back saying they had the wrong person, not to worry. But no, her mind was already connecting the dots, and she thought she was going to hurl. Of course it was...well, what it was. Of course. Pneumonia didn't make people cough up blood and pass out all the time, or start dropping pounds. She wondered if his hair had started falling out yet, panic settling in her stomach.
And then, she did the only sensible thing she could think of. She emailed her boss, said she was unwell (which was very much true), got on the subway, and went home. She took a long shower, put on some comfortable clothes, made herself a cup of tea, and then sat down at the kitchen table, facing the door. She sat, staring blankly ahead, phone on the table in case anyone tried to call, staring at the door. Waiting.
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Post by 𝒞'𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝐿𝒶 𝒱𝒾𝑒 on Oct 23, 2018 17:10:12 GMT -5
Eli had planned on telling Hazel, before his next appointment, but every time he worked up the courage, the words died in his mouth. How was he supposed to give news like that? The panic and hurt he had felt with Hazel's scare had been overwhelming, but this was different.
This was real.
There was no maybe about his symptoms, and there was no arguing the x-ray.
There was no easy way to tell the girl you love that you're dying, no easy way to say you probably won't be around for Christmas. And he had tried multiple times, he had written a letter, knowing he wouldn't make it through the conversation. Eli had then flushed it, his hands shaking so hard he could see them.
Elijah had been sent home early, Ryder all but carrying him out the door. He hadn't been able to keep anything down all day at work, and after enough pressure from Ry, he had cracked and agreed to go home.
He locked the door behind him, taking off his shoes and jacket. He didn't even see Hazel right away, emptying his pockets onto the coffee table before moving to get something to drink from the kitchen. Finally, he made eye contact with Hazel, instantly freezing. He had been doing that a lot recently around her. He avoided deeper conversations, knowing that one day she'd figure it out. He didn't think he could handle that.
"Hey, Haze. Are you okay? You look kind of out of it, and you're home early." Eli said, flinching just a moment after as he realized how hypocritical that sounded. He was home early, and he looked like death. Dark shadows under his eyes, his skin pale and hands shaking. Typically he'd blame it on being cold, but he was already wearing a hoodie, so he didn't have many lies left. "I can make lunch?"
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Post by ɪɴᴛʀᴀɴꜱɪɢᴇɴᴛ on Jan 20, 2019 23:28:56 GMT -5
Hazel didn’t know how long she sat. Time for her seemed halted at that one moment when she heard the words “Elijah” and “chemotherapy”. She couldn’t hear much over the sound of the blood rushing in her ears. She couldn’t think of much else except that she’d never wanted to be part of another funeral.
And yet, even now, she knew there would be no way she wouldn’t give him the best dang funeral he’d ever seen. Calm down, you don’t even know if he’s going to die…but how could he not…he’s been so sick… how could you not know…what kind of a girlfriend doesn’t know her boyfriend has cancer…for how long?
She glanced up as the key clicked in the lock, eyes red rimmed. She said nothing, fingers still curled tightly around her now cold cup of tea. She said nothing, biting on her bottom lip slightly, looking away. She opened her mouth, but found no words. She shook her head, rubbing her temples for a moment, sniffling, and then got to her feet, shaking her head. She walked over, staring at Eli for a moment. She reached up, holding his face between her hands. She stared at him for a moment before leaning forward, kissing him softly. Then, she pulled back, wrapping her arms around him tightly, pressing her face into his shoulder, trying her best not to start crying.
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Post by 𝒞'𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝐿𝒶 𝒱𝒾𝑒 on Jan 21, 2019 6:39:18 GMT -5
Eli's expression shifted to confusion as he took in Hazel's expression, how upset she looked. "Hard day at work?" He questioned surprised by the kiss. He had tried to pretend everything was okay, that he wasn't going to die, that they'd be able to live a happy, normal life. It was becoming more obvious with every incident that they wouldn't get the peaceful life he was dreaming of, and by the way Hazel was trying not to cry, he knew that she had heard about his health.
He just stood there for a moment, before wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight to his chest, turning to kiss her head. He couldn't speak for a moment, his heart sinking the longer he stood there. "How long have you known?" Eli murmured, his voice tight. He sounded so upset, so broken. He wasn't mad at her of Course, but he was upset with himself, for not telling her sooner, for getting sick in the first place, like that was something he could control. What kind of boyfriend was he? He had already gone to chemo once, and he hadn't said anything to her. She should have been one of the first ones to know.
Eli hadn't even been able to tell Cass everything, having just let her read his medical records instead. She had known about his cancer scare in high school, and she had been the first he told this time too. It didn't make it any easier to talk about it, didn't make it easier to admit that it had started to spread. He knew that his chances of beating this were slim, but he had to at least try, for Hazel and the others. His doctors didn't seem very hopeful either, if Eli was honest with himself. Most likely he was just dragging everything out longer than needed. Eli kept his arms wrapped around her, kissing the top of her head again before offering a reassuring smile. "I was going to tell you, Haze. I promise. It's just--" He cut himself off, took a deep breath. "I'm scared, Haze. And I needed time to process it myself before I could say anything."
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Post by ɪɴᴛʀᴀɴꜱɪɢᴇɴᴛ on Jan 21, 2019 23:13:21 GMT -5
Haze was quiet, sinking into him, sniffling and pressing her lips to his shoulder to avoid answering for a moment. She finally pulled her head back to look at him, squeezing his shoulders and rubbing them gently, offering a watery smile despite it all.
”Oh, do you mean officially or suspected?” She gave a wry laugh, swiping at her eyes before crushing him to her again, trying to avoid full on sobbing. Everything felt slightly surreal. She shook her head as he spoke, more fervently, going still at his final statement. She pulled back to look at him.
”I’m scared too, and I’m not angry. I wish you could’ve told me, but I’m not angry. I’m just…I’m just…” She felt the tears spill over as she sniffled, swiping at her eyes once more.
”I’m just glad you’re still here,” She leaned up, kissing him once more before pulling away. She patted his cheek, turning to the kitchen.
”Do you want some tea?”
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Post by 𝒞'𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝐿𝒶 𝒱𝒾𝑒 on Jan 21, 2019 23:27:21 GMT -5
“A little bit of both. “ Eli said quietly, still clinging to her, sounding so unsure of everything. “I’ve only been sure about it for a week and a half, I promise I haven’t kept it from you that long. “ he told her, returning the gentle kiss, taking another deep breath. “Tea would be nice. And then, we need to talk. You deserve to know everything. “ he said, though he didn’t really want to discuss it. He’d do anything for Hazel.
He sat down at the table, waiting until she was ready before he started talking. “Cass knows. She figured it out in game night, and she’s been really helpful when it comes to questions I have. Ryder doesn’t know, and I don’t want to tell him yet. Yeah, that may be selfish but I can’t handle his worry right now too. “ Eli said, taking a sip of his tea before looking away, hands wrapped around the mug. “Alright. Let’s get into the nitty gritty of it before I chicken out again, shall we? I started feeling sick again some time last month, dismissed it as a cold and then as it got worse I figured it was pneumonia again or something. Doctors thought it was weird that I was so sick after just recently recovering, blah blah blah. It’s, uh, it’s not great, Haze. And I know this is a lot to load on you at once but you should know what I’m up against. It’s spread, already, Haze. Started out as breast cancer, so I didn’t really think about it, that not a common concern in guys. Anyway. Its in my lungs now, which is why I cough like I’ve been smoking for 80 years. “
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Post by ɪɴᴛʀᴀɴꜱɪɢᴇɴᴛ on Jan 22, 2019 22:11:47 GMT -5
Haze moved quickly, setting them up with their favorite mugs and making them each a warm cup of jasmine tea. She nodded at his statement, moving a bit faster. They did need to talk and she wanted the details. She was sure she could handle them.
She was wrong.
Haze wasn’t much for talking, preferring to instead listen and observe. But in that moment, her silence had never been louder. She and Eli were usually so in sync, running on the same wavelength, that a slight change in breathing, or a slightly crinkled forehead could convey paragraphs of problems.
But here, Haze was blank. And it was, quite honestly, terrifying.
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