Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Oct 20, 2021 0:19:36 GMT -5
Orpheus shook his head, then realized that didn’t actually work if L wasn’t looking at him. It was frustrating – if they couldn’t look at the mirrors, then they couldn’t look up at each other, either. It begged the question what risks they were willing to take. They were willing to walk into a room that could immediately kill them both, but they weren’t willing to risk these mirrors being dangerous. It didn’t make a lot of sense, though Orpheus couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a trap. He bit his lip, then lightly took L’s hand as though that would make it a little bit easier to communicate. At least it meant they couldn’t get separated from each other.
“It looked like… a maze of some sort,” he said after a moment, brow furrowing. “I didn’t see anything other than mirrors, but it was like there was a sort of pathway or something that we’re meant to take through the mirrors.”
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on Oct 25, 2021 1:18:33 GMT -5
L glanced to the side, but he didn’t pull away. It was probably a good idea for them to stay in physical contact. They could always let go, if they needed to, but something about this room made him feel that they should stick together as much as possible.
Of course…that was almost always a good strategy. But especially now.
“I think I should look,” he said after a long moment, his voice very careful. “Out of the two of us, I think the risk is less for me. And it doesn’t make sense to go the entire room trying to avoid the mirrors completely. That could easily be playing right into its hand…there could be something we have to see. Or a way to avoid more danger further in by looking.”
Especially with it being a maze. He didn’t want to get them both lost because this risk felt irrationally worse than stepping into a room in the first place.
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Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Oct 25, 2021 23:55:29 GMT -5
“If you’re certain,” Orpheus replied, worry coating his voice. He knew that L was careful (he was the most careful blinker Orpheus had met), but that didn’t mean he was immune to the House. Eventually, there were risks that they had to take, but that didn’t make it any less nerve-wracking when the life of someone Orpheus cared about was on the line. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be his life. Orpheus hadn’t seen very many people die in the House. He knew it was still a possibility, but he didn’t think it was something that happened unusually often. Hopefully. Hopefully there was safety to be found in this room, even if Orpheus himself couldn’t look at the mirrors.
“Will you tell me what you see?” Orpheus asked after a moment, squeezing L’s hand. He didn’t want to make L take that risk, but he had to admit that it was probably safer that way. L wasn’t the one with a changed appearance. If anything was going to come from looking in the mirror, it would be something that impacted Orpheus.
“Wait,” he whispered, face paling as something occurred to him. “What if I’m not the one that’s different? What if the House changed the way you perceive things? It could be that when you look in the mirror, you’ll see someone you don’t recognize. In which case… it’s more dangerous for you.”
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on Nov 1, 2021 9:42:23 GMT -5
L was careful, but L wasn’t safe. It had taken a long time for him to accept that there were always going to be things out of his control, things he had missed or hadn’t had any way of predicting or hadn’t been able to prevent. He was rarely wrong, not never, and when he was, it seemed as though the world wanted to make up for every missed opportunity all at once.
In the House, things were even harder to predict. L sometimes wondered if the rooms could be predicted at all…or, if they could be, if he could do it.
He was comforted and terrified by his mind, human and imperfect as it was. As someone who loved humans, or wanted to love humans, he was glad that he still counted as one. As someone who wanted to live, he would have preferred to be infallible.
He didn’t look. He was about to, but the soft ‘wait’ caught him in time, and he didn’t.
“Oh…” he murmured, unable to completely hide his surprise. Not that Orpheus had thought of it - Orpheus was much smarter than he gave himself credit for - and not even that Orpheus had thought of something L hadn’t, because that too wasn’t all that uncommon.
Mostly, it was that Orpheus seemed almost more paranoid than he himself did for this room. It made him uneasy.
“We should break this down, I think. We’re getting lost in the possibilities,” he said after a moment. He was used to doing this part in his head, but he felt Orpheus would be both useful to and helped by the process. “We should first decide whether or not looking at the mirrors intentionally is something either of us is going to do in any way. There’s no point in deciding anything else until we decide that.”
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Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Nov 8, 2021 19:22:50 GMT -5
Orpheus shifted, giving a small nod. He hadn’t wanted to worry L, but the room wasn’t like anything he had anticipated. He wasn’t used to the House targeting him. He wasn’t used to the House being able to change things like it had this time. The mirrors felt like a direct taunt, and Orpheus couldn’t help but feel that, for the first time, he understood why L was paranoid most of the time. There were actually people who wanted him dead, and Orpheus couldn’t imagine living with that kind of stress. Knowing that they could find him and target him if they so chose. He shook his head, trying to focus himself on the room at hand. This wasn’t necessarily going to kill either of them, but he hated the idea of L risking something when Orpheus wasn’t taking the same risk himself.
“I think… maybe we should try to do it without looking at the mirrors.” He breathed out, trying to tell if he could see where they were going without looking at the mirrors. He hesitated, then looked up at the ceiling, hoping that there wouldn’t be any mirrors there. He was right, they were protected for now. Of course… the House could always add mirrors up in the ceiling…
“We can see where the mirrors are attached to the ceiling,” he told L, eyes widening a little. “I think… we might be able to…” he hesitated, biting his lip. “If we follow it, we might be able to see which mirrors attach to each other, so we don’t get lost. Or at least so we don’t run into any mirrors.”
Orpheus didn’t actually know what dangers the mirrors presented. There were any number of possibilities that could be dangerous, or they could just be harmless.
“Is this… how your mind usually works? All of these dangerous possibilities just… swirling around?”
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on Nov 10, 2021 18:27:25 GMT -5
L wasn’t sure avoiding them mirrors was going to be practical. They were dangerous, of course, but so was avoiding them, right? The House could play by whatever rules it liked. He didn’t know that there was a way to make it safer.
But he didn’t look. He was used to being the more paranoid of the two of them, and if Orpheus felt that way about this room, it was only fair to respect that, as he’d always done for L even when it didn’t make sense to him.
“That may work,” L replied after a moment, and looked up, careful only to open his eyes once they were fixed on the ceiling. “Or at least…we can try it. If it doesn’t work, we’ll figure that out eventually, too.”
He would normally have been calculating odds by now, but it didn’t occur to him.
Orpheus’ next words made him hesitate. Normally, he’d look at someone if they asked him that, but he couldn’t do that without looking in a mirror, too, so he just kept staring up as he thought about it.
“Yes. The possibility of danger never really leaves my thoughts. I used to think everyone was constantly aware of all the ways a situation could go badly, or…or the chances of being attacked by anyone who may be nearby, but not many people understand when I explain this. I don’t think it’s possible for me to be completely relaxed.”
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Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Nov 10, 2021 23:29:31 GMT -5
Orpheus wanted to look over at L, but he wasn’t sure if that was a good idea given how many mirrors there were. If he looked at L, the chances were a little bit too high that he would look into a mirror as well. That was a risk that he didn’t really want to take. He wasn’t sure if he was being paranoid, but he was grateful that L was going along with it. He was understanding in a way a lot of people might not have been. Then again… this was the same courtesy that Orpheus extended to L whenever he could, so perhaps it was just the two of them being good friends to each other. He closed his eyes for just a moment, breathing out to calm his thoughts.
“For the record,” Orpheus murmured, hoping his voice sounded as genuine as he felt, “I don’t think it’s a bad thing that you think things through like that. Even if it’s not something that I usually do. I think… well, it makes your mind yours, and I like your mind. I like how you think, and I like being friends with you. Not that it… really makes any difference, but…” Orpheus trailed off, a blush spreading across his cheeks. “I guess… you probably already know it’s not a bad thing, because it’s kept you alive, and you have more reason than I do to think about things with this level of detail, but… I like the way you think,” he repeated, hoping it didn’t sound as lame as it felt.
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on Nov 19, 2021 23:58:53 GMT -5
L observed the ceiling, his brain restlessly searching out things to take note of. It wasn’t that he wasn’t listening to Orpheus, or that he wasn’t giving the things the other blinker said his full attention. It was just that paying attention to Orpheus and observing the ceiling were different categories in his head, and one couldn’t be filled with the other. Besides, he figured there was no harm in keeping an eye on what he could, since technically anything could be sneaking up on them while they refused to look down.
If this room made Orpheus as paranoid as L was used to being, was it really kindness that made L want to take his advice? He couldn’t help thinking it was probably more selfish than that. If Orpheus knew something he didn’t, it was only sensible to pay attention, wasn’t it? He was only one person, he couldn’t hope to notice everything on his own.
“It might make more of a difference than you realize,” he replied after a moment, his voice soft where he wasn’t paying attention to it. It sounded more like how he thought than how he spoke, though he couldn’t have explained why. Maybe it was just that he didn’t talk about how he felt enough to know how his voice was meant to rise and fall when he did.
“I only mean…your opinion is worth a lot to me. I don’t think the way my mind works is bad, personally, but if you did, that would worry me. And, anyway…it’s just who I am. It’s nice…being known and liked at the same time.”
He narrowed his eyes, trying to see if he could tell which direction was best. “I also like the way you think.”
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Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Nov 25, 2021 1:56:21 GMT -5
“Is that a rare occurrence?” Orpheus asked, voice soft. “I mean… being both known and liked?” He knew a little bit about how L was treated in his world, but he certainly didn’t know all of it. He knew L was the best detective in his world, but he very rarely spoke about how people perceived him. The little bit he had said was enough to frustrate Orpheus. He wasn’t quite angry ahoy to it (what right did he have to feel angry about it when L himself didn’t?), but he wished others in L’s world would see the detective how Orpheus saw him. The kind man he was, the one who was willing to listen when Orpheus of all people became paranoid. The one who was willing to wait to make sure Orpheus hadn’t lost his voice when what he actually wanted to do was go into a room. Orpheus didn’t understand how people could look at L and see anything other than the man Orpheus saw. The one who had quickly become his best friend and wouldn’t be easily displaced.
“I’m not sure the way I think is anything to be impressed with,” Orpheus admitted, wanting nothing more than to look down and make eye contact with L. “I mean… I’m glad you like it. I… I enjoy being known and liked at the same time, too. I guess normally… people don’t stay in my life long enough to really know me. I guess that’s what comes with moving around as often as Mr. Hermes and I do…” he shifted, rubbing at the back of his neck for a long moment.
“I wish I were as good as you are at calculating the odds that something might be dangerous.”
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on Nov 30, 2021 2:59:22 GMT -5
“Both at the same time, yes,” L confirmed, though he didn’t sound bothered by it. He knew he wasn’t very well liked in his own world. He could even see their perspective, sometimes. He was technically responsible for a lot of deaths, probably not far from the number he’d saved…and then there was the fact that he had to choose between saving a few lives now or far more lives later, which was a decision that usually made him look cold. He couldn’t say they were wrong.
He wasn’t angry about it. It became tedious now and then, but the people who needed him weren’t likely to be the same ones who refused to interact with him, and interactions outside of work rarely even occurred to him. As long as being disliked didn’t make his job harder, he was content to ignore it.
“Really?” He asked, blinking at the ceiling instead of at Orpheus. He’d have liked to look at him, to search his expression and be able to let his own be seen, something that was surprising mostly because he wasn’t surprised by it. “The way you think is more impressive than the way I do, really. My IQ may be higher than most people’s in my world, but that’s not really something to be impressed by, it’s just the way I am. It’s useful, of course, and in some ways I am more intelligent than most people in my world, but…”
He shook his head a little, which was harder to do when he was looking up. “The point is, you find so much meaning and beauty in the world, and then you bring even more to it. It’s as though you’re an artist, attempting to capture a sunset and all the while remaining unaware that your art is just as valuable as the light you’re chasing.”
He wanted to look at Orpheus more than almost anything, but he didn’t. “Even if you can’t calculate odds as I do, I think you have far more to offer than you realize. You’re certainly no less impressive than I am.”
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Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Nov 30, 2021 3:43:33 GMT -5
Orpheus knew there was a risk in looking down. He knew that if he caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror, the House might do something to him. He knew of tales even from his own culture, of people becoming so enamored with their own reflection that they couldn’t look away. Okay, so maybe it was one tale about one person, but he was fairly certain the gods had interfered on that one. He wasn’t calling the House a god, but it could certainly interfere, and he wouldn’t be surprised if one of them spent the rest of their life staring at a reflection of themselves just because the House thought it was amusing. He pushed the thought away. It would be fine if they didn’t look down. If they just kept talking how they were, kept…
Orpheus froze, eyes widening as L continued. He knew L was kind, but what was more impressive than that was that he was also honest. He was probably more kind than he was honest, which made his kindness feel all the more genuine. Orpheus knew that L could lie. He knew that L was a very good liar. He may not have seen him in action, but he felt he knew his friend well enough by now to know. But right now, Orpheus thought L was telling the truth. Maybe it was that he was honest when it came to kindness. When it came to compliments. L didn’t seem the type to flatter someone unless there was something he wanted from them, and Orpheus couldn’t think of anything L might want from him at the moment.
Still, L continued. Saying things that Orpheus didn’t necessarily feel were true, but that L must have believed, or he would never say them.
You’re no less impressive than I am.
Orpheus’ gaze shot down, eyes wide as he tried to read L’s expression. Because L was, without a doubt, the most impressive person Orpheus had ever met. Considering he had met gods… that was high praise. L was intelligent and cunning and he knew how to help people. He did everything he could in order to do that, but he still had time to be kind to Orpheus. He still had time for a friendship that was built on hesitant melodies and idealistic promises. Promises that Orpheus refused to break.
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on Feb 2, 2022 17:09:54 GMT -5
L wasn’t positive how dangerous the mirrors were, in relation to the House in general.
He supposed it was related to his refusal to eat in the House. That was one thing he’d questioned for himself, more than once, but in the end…he thought it was rational. The House seemed to take specific pleasure in putting them in situations they couldn’t necessarily escape, but that they could change. There was a pattern to the rooms, as though they were all a challenge of sorts, and for it to be a challenge, they had to be able to act.
But for the moment, he wouldn’t look down. He could tell Orpheus was unnerved by this room. Even if he didn’t see exactly what it was, he trusted the poet, and it was better to be safe than sorry.
He meant what he’d told him. He really did. He hadn’t expected it to be a surprise. Orpheus was extremely impressive, and much more capable than he seemed to believe he was. And it was just obvious to him that Orpheus gave more in general to the world than L did. They had far different things to offer, but Orpheus’ job was the one that made L’s job worth doing.
He didn’t realize Orpheus had looked down. He was still studying the ceiling, determined not to look until they either figured out the room or Orpheus decided it was alright. He wasn’t used to following other people’s ideas of how to do things, but he wasn’t used to being the one who felt inclined to take the least precautions, either.
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Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Feb 4, 2022 3:24:59 GMT -5
Orpheus hadn’t exactly meant to look down. He had been focusing on looking up, and then suddenly he wanted to look down at L, and he hadn’t been able to resist the urge. Unfortunately, with the House placing them in the middle of several mirrors, that meant his own reflection was there to greet him. It was an odd feeling. He knew what L had been talking about, now. The face that greeted him was unmistakably his own, but it was also a face he had never seen before. He recognized himself, but not the features he inhabited. It felt like two facts that could not simultaneously be true were, in fact, both true. He shook his head of the thought, one hand raising to lightly brush through the ginger curls falling against his forehead.
“If I’m not mistaken,” Orpheus managed after a moment, noting the way his voice felt slightly different in his throat, “I believe the House has decided to change me again.” He let his eyes close for just a moment as he tried to process it. He had wanted to see what the House made him look like before, as this wasn’t the way L had described his new appearance. He certainly hadn’t mentioned the orange hair, and in Orpheus’ opinion that was a pretty significant change.
“I never really struck myself as having blue eyes.” It was supposed to be a joke, but more than a little bit of uncertainty leaked into his voice. He wasn’t sure why the House had decided to do this. He didn’t know if he disliked it, he just wasn’t sure how to feel.
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on Feb 19, 2022 1:36:40 GMT -5
L tensed, the voice that answered him sending a jolt shock through his body.
Because it had changed again, and yet it was still Orpheus. It was a voice he’d never heard before, and a voice he found particularly soothing, and a voice that caused his chest to tighten, because he shouldn’t have recognized it and he did.
He made his choice and looked down, preparing himself for whatever he was about to see.
“Oh…” he managed, eyes widening as he took in Orpheus’ new appearance. “Yes, it changed you again. It’s the same thing as before. I don’t recognize your appearance, but I recognize you, in spite of it. As though you’d gotten a new haircut or changed your style instead of your face.”
He narrowed his eyes slightly, thinking fast. “Which…no, that makes sense. The House almost certainly isn’t human, at least, not the same type of human we are. So there’s no reason to believe it recognizes anyone by their face the way humans do…so perhaps that’s why I can still tell it’s you.”
He moved around Orpheus in a circle, trying to detect any other changes, but it seemed he still appeared human, in all the ways L could tell.
He stopped in front of him, inspecting his eyes with a critical sort of expression on his face.
“You never really struck me as having blue eyes, either,” he finally admitted. “I liked your other eyes. They looked…correct.”
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Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Feb 25, 2022 3:53:48 GMT -5
Orpheus blushed, red coloring his entire face and ears instead of just the thin band across his cheeks and nose that it usually did. It was an odd sight to see, his entire face flushed with just a little bit of embarrassment. He hadn’t meant to look down, and he most certainly hadn’t intended to change how he looked again, but he couldn’t control the House any more than L could. He was the one who had been suspicious, though… he wasn’t sure if it had been warranted. This change was off-putting, but it wasn’t the worst thing the House could have thrown at them.
“I… feel the same, looking in the mirror,” Orpheus admitted, letting his free hand reach up to run through his brand new curls. “It’s like… this is the face I’ve been seeing for years, but it’s not. Like… I would recognize myself on the street if I saw myself, but like I remember looking a different way.” It was, he had to admit, interesting to hear the way his voice differed. It was higher now - he had to admit he liked that. It made him feel a little less tied down to masculinity - and had a different sort of cadence. His words were still unmistakably his, but the way they issued from him was different. Like he ws used to using these vocal chords, though he hadn’t ever used them before.
“Do I… not look correct now?” Orpheus asked after a moment, nerves wavering his voice almost imperceptibly.
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on Feb 25, 2022 4:07:48 GMT -5
The blush caught L by surprise, though it probably shouldn’t have. It was just that he was used to it being more subtle…something he had to be paying attention to notice. Though, he was usually paying attention, so maybe that wasn’t a good standard.
“Mm…I know what you mean,” he replied, still scanning Orpheus’ new face, his eyes narrowed. He was looking for similarities, mostly, though he couldn’t find many. It was an incredibly odd feeling, to look at a face you’d never seen before and yet still recognize your closest friend behind it…
He wasn’t sure he knew how he felt about it. As though he wanted to dislike it, but it felt wrong to say he did.
“No…that’s not right, either,” he said finally, pressing his lips into a thin line as he tried to find the right words, “I can’t explain it. You looked correct as you were before, and now you look…”
He frowned a little. “No, but that’s not right, either. Your appearance is your own. I suppose I've experienced something similar in myself, but it was far more gradual then…mm…it’s not the appearance that’s disturbing to me. It’s something else.”
He paused, scanning his expression instead. “But that’s not the point. Do you think you look correct now?”
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Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Feb 25, 2022 23:04:22 GMT -5
“Different,” Orpheus supplied after a moment, searching L’s gaze. He was studying it as intently as he could in case the House decided to change that, too. He knew he would like L just as much no matter what face he wore, but he didn’t want to forget this face. What would he do if he couldn’t remember the slope of L’s nose when suddenly that nose was a completely different shape? It was a thought that made Orpheus more uncomfortable than he had the words to express. He never wanted to forget the face he had come to associate with his best friend.
“What is it that you think is disturbing you?” Orpheus asked breathlessly, watching L for another long moment before he turned his attention back towards the mirrors again. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his new face, it was just that it’s as unfamiliar to him. He didn’t know how to reconcile the face he bore now, the one that seemed just as much like him as the other one, with the face he had borne for over nineteen years.
“I don’t know if I look correct,” he admitted after a moment, the blush creeping across his features again. If there was one thing he could pinpoint about his new face that he didn’t much like, it was that. He didn’t like that his face could do things without him telling it what to do. “I don’t know if my previous face was corrects either. I wish… I wish I knew what ‘correct’ even meant.”
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on Feb 26, 2022 0:02:44 GMT -5
“Different,” L repeated, tasting the word. It fit, though it wasn’t the one that had failed to come to him. He didn’t know how to explain that he didn’t like the change, but it wasn’t about the face itself. Or that the idea that he might never see Orpheus’ original face again was more distressing than he would have expected it to be.
“I liked your face,” he said finally, trying to find the words that would get his meaning across. “And it’s not that I don’t like this face, or that I think you look bad now, it’s…not about the appearance at all. It’s that…I suppose…it’s not the face you had when I gave you salve, or when we looked at the frogs. And it would have been one thing if you’d made the change yourself, but you didn’t. I already knew the House could change someone internally, but…I never considered it could change someone’s appearance in this way. It disturbs me to know there are possibilities in this place I’ve never thought of, even after so long blinking in. Also… I would miss your other face, if the change were permanent.”
He fell silent, lips pressed firmly together as he studied Orpheus’ expression.
“Your appearance belongs to you,” he added finally. “So ‘correct’ is yours to define. I know that better than most.”
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Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Feb 26, 2022 16:44:22 GMT -5
“Oh,” Orpheus whispered, eyes wide as he looked at L. He hadn’t really thought of it like that, but it gave him a warm feeling in the center of his chest that L might actually care about his appearance. That L would miss his old face.
“It’s me, but it’s not me,” Orpheus agreed after a moment, searching L’s gaze. “I mean… I see it and it seems like it should be me, like this should be the face that I remember growing up with, but… it’s not. And I don’t think that makes it any less correct, but it’s not a face I chose. I don’t… know which I would choose, if I were allowed, but…” Orpheus hesitated, biting his lip as he met L’s gaze.
It was bothering him for some of the same reasons it was bothering L. He wasn’t sure if he would ever see his old face in the mirror again. He wanted to believe he would, but… if he didn’t? If this was what he was going to look like for the rest of his life? It didn’t feel wrong, but he wasn’t entirely certain that he liked it.
“I don’t know that I’ve ever looked ‘correct,’” Orpheus admitted after a moment, his pervasive blush refusing to leave his cheeks. “I’m not sure how I want to work. I mean… sometimes I forget I even have a body, if that makes sense? That there’s a way for other people to perceive me, and that they come to understand my features as me… but I guess my old face… the one you see… would be the closest for me. I don’t know. Maybe it’ll change.”
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on Feb 27, 2022 6:58:22 GMT -5
“I can understand that,” L replied, relaxing a little as his meaning seemed to make it across. “I don’t think about my appearance very often, either. It’s easier to exist in my head…what’s the part of me that matters, anyway. The rest of me is just irritating.”
It was always a little bit strange to think about other people feeling the way he did about that. What happened in their heads to distract them from the only part of them he had any reliable information about? Were their thoughts anything like his? How many people would surprise him if he could hear them?
Case in point…he dragged his thoughts away from that tangent, focusing on Orpheus’ reply instead.
“But I think I understand what you mean. I don’t know that I’m really attached to my face, but it would still be unnerving to lose it. Especially without my permission.”
He didn’t think he’d missed any changes. It seemed like it was still Orpheus, and his face was still perfectly normal, just…different. That really was the only word that fit, wasn’t it?
“I wish I knew whether or not it’s going to change again,” he added, his voice lowering a little. “Or change back…oh, that reminds me…did you want to test this voice?”
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Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Feb 27, 2022 16:33:26 GMT -5
“For the record,” Orpheus whispered, wrenching his gaze away from the mirror so he could take in L as he stood before him, “I don’t think the rest of you is irritating.” He knew that wasn’t quite what L had meant, but it was an important point to make regardless. “I mean… I think you’re quite handsome. And if there were some technology that allowed you to just save your mind without preserving your body… I guess… if you were happy, I would be happy for you, but I would miss how you look. I would miss seeing the way you process things, and the intelligence behind your eyes, and the soft way you smile, and… and I would miss the way your hair falls into your face and how soft it is to braid. So… I think I wouldn’t like it very much if the House changed your face without your permission, even if I did like your new face. It would be different if you got to choose a new face.”
Orpheus felt the blush return as he realized how long he had been rambling. He let out a soft breath, searching L’s gaze to make sure he hadn’t overstepped.
“Oh,” he added, eyes wide. “Yes, I think I would like that. I’m not sure it’s a permanent change, but I can tell there’s something different in this voice. Do… you mind if I do?” There was something warm burning in Orpheus’ chest at the fact that L had considered it without Orpheus mentioning first. That he cared enough to mention it – Orpheus knew L cared, but it was somewhat jarring to be presented with such clear proof.
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on Mar 6, 2022 21:18:10 GMT -5
L paused, listening to the words. He hadn’t expected that…he wasn’t sure what he had expected. He hadn’t said it with Orpheus’ reply in mind.
He also didn’t think he could have kept the surprise from his face even if he’d been trying.
“My smile is soft?” He asked finally, eyes wide as he searched Orpheus’ expression. “I hadn’t realized I’d smiled around you at all…well, no, I suppose that’s not true, I remember several times. But it’s not something I would have expected anyone else to pay attention to. Not unless they were trying to gather information on me, and I know you’re not.”
It didn’t occur to him to think that Orpheus had overstepped. He wasn’t uncomfortable with being known, either, even though a part of his mind continued to tell him he should be. No…he wasn’t surprised that Orpheus had said it. He was surprised that Orpheus could say it without lying.
A tiny, almost shy smile tugged at his lips. He was too busy watching Orpheus to notice it.
“I think…that’s a good way to describe how I feel about this. I don’t think this is the wrong face, or that I don’t like it for any real reason, but…it isn’t the face I’m used to you having when I see you, so it’s not the face I associate with quite as much happiness.”
He took a tiny step back, giving Orpheus room in case he wanted to use his lyre. “Anyway…of course I don’t mind. You know your music doesn’t bother me.”
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Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Mar 14, 2022 1:54:25 GMT -5
“Yes,” Orpheus replied, unable to stop the blush that came across his own face. He could imagine no softer smile than L’s, if only because of how genuine and rare it was. It meant… well, it mean more than most smiles, he found. Which wasn’t to say that a smile was cheapened by how often you used it, it was just… L’s were special. And he wanted the detective to know how much those smiles meant to him.
“Your expression is usually… very pensive. And serious. You think about things a lot, and I know you do, and… and that’s a lot of what makes you you, so obviously I wouldn’t change it, but when you smile it’s like… well, you know when it’s a rainy day, and you enjoy the rain because there hasn’t been enough of it lately, and the flowers in the fields were starting to wilt a little bit, but then just enough sun shines through to make a rainbow? Well… that’s what it’s like when you smile.” His blush hadn’t left his face, but he wasn’t sure he minded. He wanted L to know. He had a feeling that nobody had ever told him that his smile mattered.
“I’m… glad to know my face makes you happy,” he added, the words almost inaudible. He didn’t often think about the impact his physical form had on other people. In fact, most of the time he forgot he had a body at all. He was… a vessel for the music he produced. That was all.
After letting that thought hang in his mind for a moment, Orpheus pulled his lyre back into a playing position and let his eyes close, the notes seeping out of him as naturally as they always did.
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on Apr 1, 2022 19:47:18 GMT -5
L listened quietly to the description, eyes widening a little more as Orpheus continued. He was a little bit surprised to learn that his thoughts could be seen on his face…or that he looked like he was thinking, rather. It made sense. And he was usually serious. But still…he never quite seemed to remember that other people could see him, when they were around.
At least, not people like Orpheus. He was very aware of how dangerous his expressions could be around threats.
“I’ve never thought about my smile, before,” he admitted softly, tilting his head just enough to read Orpheus’ expression without turning. “I’ve never had any reason to…most of the people I talk to never even see me.”
He had never thought of it as anything important. The thought that Orpheus had noticed it, that it even made him happy to see it…
He thought he understood what Orpheus meant about the sunlight filtering through the rain. The spot of warmth that wasn’t enough to be overwhelming, but just enough to make you feel quiet inside.
Yes, he understood. It was how Orpheus made him feel, though he wouldn’t have known how to describe it before he’d heard it.
Warm L. Fiery L.
He let the thoughts fade as Orpheus began to play, letting the music replace them. It sounded the same as it always did to his ears - a different voice, perhaps, but not a worse one, and certainly still Orpheus’ - and it left the same expression on Orpheus’ face as he played it, too.
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Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Apr 2, 2022 0:18:37 GMT -5
“I know that it’s to protect you from people who want to hurt you,” Orpheus murmured after a moment, searching L’s expression, “but I think it’s a shame. I don’t want you to put yourself in danger by talking to people in person, obviously, but… I don’t know. I think the people who don’t get to talk to you or see you in person are missing out. You’re…” he struggled to find the words for a moment, trying to weave an image of L that would accurately portray everything the detective meant to him. “You’re kind, and you always look as though you’re listening very carefully, like you actually care about everything someone has to say, and your smile makes the world feel like it’s spinning at just the right speed. I think it’s a shame that people don’t get to experience that. And I guess… I feel incredibly lucky that I do.” He watched his friend for a long moment before his blush returned and he turned back to his guitar.
He finished playing fairly quickly, letting the final note hang in the air. It was different, there was no denying it, but it wasn’t bad. It was still his music and his cadence, just with a slightly different tenor to it.
“I’m satisfied,” he said after a moment, ignoring the mirrors in favor of holding L’s gaze. “I’m not sure what the House intended with this room or this… alteration,” Orpheus admitted, lips pursing as he thought, “but perhaps we have to try to get out of this without thinking that the mirrors themselves are an exit? It seems like it would be incredibly easy to get lost in here.”
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on Apr 3, 2022 15:56:08 GMT -5
It was an odd thought…that someone had lost someone if they hadn’t spoken to him in person. He knew he tended to annoy people, more often than not. And judging by the reactions of the people who did see him…he was never quite what they expected.
“I am listening carefully,” he replied honestly. “But I don’t think that has anything to do with kindness. It’s just common sense. It’s just self preservation…people say all sorts of things without even meaning to. If I wasn’t paying attention, I could miss something critical.”
He fell silent as Orpheus played. It had the same effect it always did - calming the thoughts racing through his brain at any given moment, just a little bit - and then he nodded, relaxing just a little as Orpheus stopped.
“That could be,” he replied softly, holding his gaze. It was safer than trying to look in the mirrors, after all.
Plus, he had the nagging suspicion he might not have reacted quite as well as Orpheus had to seeing a different reflection in place of his own.
“We should decide how dangerous we think the mirrors are,” he continued, eyes narrowing just a little at the thought. “Or whether they’re just a red herring for the actual challenge here.”
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Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Apr 3, 2022 18:20:05 GMT -5
“I’m not terribly concerned,” Orpheus replied after a moment, surprised to find that the words felt true. “I mean… of course I dislike that my face is changing, but if that’s the only challenge this room poses, then we might be able to actually enjoy being here rather than worrying about what other trap the House is going to give us.” He found himself enamored with the idea of actually getting to do something with L. They had shared fun rooms together before, of course, but they had almost always been interrupted why something less than pleasant happening after the nice part. He couldn’t help but hope that this room might be a little bit different.
“What do you think the actual challenge might be?” he asked, glancing around to make sure he hadn’t missed anything immediately obvious. “Right now… the mirrors just seem like… well, I’m not sure I want to touch them, giving what just looking in one did to me, but beyond that they seem… unusually harmless for the House.”
Orpheus regretted the words almost as soon as they had left his lips. The House could easily take something like that as a challenge, and the last thing he wanted to do was put himself and L in more danger than was strictly necessary.
“Maybe we should just start with trying to find our way out?”
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on Apr 3, 2022 20:36:35 GMT -5
L glanced over, just a little bit surprised at the words. He probably shouldn’t have been…he was used to being more paranoid than the people around him. Him being worried about something wasn’t necessarily evidence that it was something to worry about.
But he couldn’t help thinking of all the terrible things the House could do with Orpheus’ face, once it had stolen it. Or what the mirrors could mean…were they a metaphor? A reference? A red herring? A tool?
He would have liked for this to be a nice room. But somehow…it didn’t feel as though it was. Maybe that was just because he felt the House had a tendency to make it’s nice rooms clear. It certainly turned rooms from peaceful to dangerous sometimes, and it was always dangerous to assume, but…it wasn’t impossible to predict it, sometimes.
“A lot of the time…I’ve found rooms work much like a riddle does,” he replied slowly, concentrating his full attention on his answer instead. “The answer should be near impossible to guess, but make perfect sense once you know it. It’s an intentional randomness…an orderly sort of chaos. So I think it’s safe to say the mirrors will have something to do with the answer, but not in a completely straightforward way. Of course, now that I’ve said that, it could change the answer, but there’s no getting around that with the House.”
He shrugged, pulling his gaze back to Orpheus. “So…probably, yes. Unless you have a different idea of where to start.”
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Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
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Post by strider on Apr 3, 2022 23:35:21 GMT -5
“A riddle,” Orpheus murmured, tasting the word before he gave a small nod of agreement. “Yes, I think that’s… I think that’s accurate. But this doesn’t seem… I know the House can change things, and it can make things that are dangerous seem not dangerous, so this is perhaps a dangerous thing to say, but… it doesn’t seem terribly dangerous.”
Orpheus took L’s hand without thinking about it, thinking it would be easier to navigate the room if they stayed together. The House could probably separate them, making a reflection seem like the other, so keeping physical contact with L felt safer than anything else. He was still a little more paranoid than he usually was, but he had done the worst thing he could imagine - he had looked in the mirror, and it had changed him. It didn’t seem like there was anything else the House could do, unless it chose to change L. The thought made Orpheus tense just a little, but he made sure to relax immediately after so he wouldn’t worry L. He may not have been good at lying, but he was good at being optimistic. He could believe that this room could be something good.
“I’m not sure how to begin navigating in here,” Orpheus admitted, looking around. “I’m not sure how to figure out what’s a mirror and what might be a way out.” He frowned, almost reaching forward to touch one of the mirrors to test it before he realized that doing so was probably a bad idea.
“I don’t think we should touch the mirrors,” he whispered, squeezing L’s hand where it hung at his side.
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Post by ®Hawkpath® on May 19, 2022 17:28:29 GMT -5
L glanced down, blinking at their hands, though he didn’t pull away. He wasn’t really surprised by the gesture, and certainly wasn’t uncomfortable with it, but he still hadn’t really expected it. It made sense, though. If something happened to one of them, the other would know right away, even if they weren’t watching.
“I don’t think there’s much point in being careful what we say,” he noted, glancing up again. Orpheus seemed…on edge. He wasn’t used to paranoia, which meant, if he really was feeling it now, it was probably a little overwhelming. He hadn’t learned to find the reassuring elements to it, like L had.
“It can still see our thoughts,” he continued, his voice softening a little as he risked a glance at one of the mirrors. “And it’s unpredictable. Trying to account for everything it might use against us isn’t possible, and you’ll exhaust yourself if you try. The important thing…is to focus on what we do have control over.”
He glanced back, squeezing Orpheus’ hand a little and taking a small step forward. “Perhaps…we should start by walking around? We don’t have to touch the mirrors. At least…not unless we decide we should.”
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