College AU! - Small Group RP - Closed

Juuzou | Juuzou’s Room | mintedstar/fur

Juuzou, for his part, didn’t interfere. Not at first, anyway. He was too shocked to move, his entire brain seemed to have glitched, because instead of sharing a snack with a stranger, he was being bitten by one.
Not that he was completely sure it was an attack. Then again...what else could it possibly be?
When he finally unfroze, his hands moved up and pushed weakly at Myrnin, trying to get him off. He didn’t know quite what to say, so he didn’t speak. He just wanted Myrnin to stop biting him, really. The rest could be sorted out after he stopped losing blood.
Because he was pretty sure he was losing blood now. Myrnin was taking it.
He pushed a little more insistently. He wasn’t quite at the point where he was going to shove, but he was getting there.

Nico looked up, obviously startled by Zuko’s comment. Right… so it was probably a good thing that he hadn’t said anything when Sal had mentioned both boys and girls, especially if they were living with someone who clearly thought like that. His gaze shifted at the sight of Varian quietly excusing himself from the conversation. Nico thought he might have the right idea… he hesitated for a long moment, glancing at Sal to make sure he didn’t need him there to back him up, then slipping away from his spot on the log. He frowned for a long moment, watching Zuko from a short distance, then nodded as it seemed that Ronan and Sal had control of the situation. And Sal was braver than Nico would be, outright stating it like that. He turned instead to follow Varian, both curious as to what he was doing, and wanting to be there so he didn’t get caught out alone. Nico doubted he was armed for a situation like that.

Noah shifted uncomfortably as the tension seemed to rise between Zuko and Ronan. He thought it was pretty obvious that it had been a joke, but maybe obvious to him wasn’t as obvious to everyone else. And maybe it was just because he knew Ronan. But he thought Juuzou might have the right idea, letting the others handle the situation and find a more comfortable topic of conversation between themselves. It was a lot easier to talk about Chainsaw than it was to consider that they might have been saddled with a roommate who didn’t like Ronan (or Noah for that matter) because of who they loved (or didn’t love, in Noah’s case).
“Yep,” Noah confirmed, forcing a smile as he remembered baby Chainsaw. “She was tiny, and he made sure she became what she is today! He smuggled her into class to feed her.”

Newt tensed, eyes narrowing just a little bit as what had been a very pleasant moment seemed to devolve almost immediately. He pursed his lips, arms crossing almost defensively as Zuko’s comment washed over him. He had never felt the need to broadcast his identity, but in this case… well, it seemed that Sal beat him to it. Good for him. He’d… well, he’d have to have a conversation later with Sal to thank him for jumping on that. It was important, but it was also risky. None of them knew how Zuko was going to react to that… and if it was bad…? Would Sal move out? Would Zuko? Or would they all sit there in awkward tension for the rest of the year? He shifted just a little bit closer to Sal, trying to wordlessly show him that he was there for him.

“It means the world is more complicated now!” Zuko retorted, just as sharply. “I mean you hear things, on the news and stuff! About celebrities and people dating the kind of people they wouldn’t have been allowed to before!” He tried to keep the statement neutral, but it was hard, given the intense way Ronan was looking at him, the accusation in his tone. He didn’t know what he had done, only that whatever it was, it had ruined the entire atmosphere. Which… hadn’t been his intention, but it was what happened, so he was going to have to deal with it. He glanced between the others, crossing his arms protectively over his chest. At least… until Sal spoke. It seemed to be directed at Zuko, though he couldn’t quite see why.
“Panromantic,” he repeated, trying to hide his uncertainty. He knew about gay and straight and bi, and obviously trans, but… well, Ursa had left before Zuko had been old enough to look into any of this, and Ozai had tolerated none of it. “What does that have to do with Ronan’s bird?” he tried to take the heat out of his voice, tried to make the question sound as genuine as he felt it was.

Nico took a deep breath out, watching the flashlight go on in Varian’s tent. This was more comfortable than it would have been to be back at the fire with the others. He could still hear them where he was standing, but he could also keep an eye on Varian, too. Maybe, if the tension got worse, he would try to strike up a conversation with the other boy. As it was, just having space from it all felt a little bit better. So much for thinking this camping trip was going to be fun… and he had left Sal alone, which probably wasn’t the best thing he could have done. But at least Sal had an ally in Ronan. It felt a little bit more important to make sure that Varian wasn’t totally alone.

“If anyone ever tells you that Ronan is motherly, you call them a liar. But… he’s good with Chainsaw. And he’s good with his friends. He’s just… picky about who his friends are, so he’s a little standoffish with everyone here.” Although he did think he was more than a little bit justified here… he didn’t say that, though. He wasn’t sure what Juuzou’s beliefs were, and he didn’t want to create any more tension than there already was. “Have you ever seen a baby raven? They’re kind of ugly, but in a really cute way, if that makes sense. Chainsaw wasn’t always this majestic. Or self-absorbed,” he added lightly, glancing over to see her reaction to no longer being the center of attention.

Newt hesitated, unsure he was needed here. He didn’t want to cut in, but if either Ronan or Zuko started yelling, he was going to have to. For now, though… well, he thought he was going to like Sal. Good at solving conflicts, and calmer about it than Newt himself was. That was a valuable skill. If Newt were building a team, he would have Sal on it for certain. But he wasn’t, and this situation wasn’t hypothetical. It was real. And Newt found that he couldn’t just stay silent.
“For what it’s worth, I’m gay,” he said after a long moment, aware that he would be drawing attention to himself. “And it’s a hell of a lot different than dating a bird.”

Zuko’s eyes narrowed even further, and he would have yelled something back at Ronan if the gears in his head hadn’t started turning, compiling the information he was getting, just a bit too slow to be useful. His words froze in his throat, and his brow furrowed. Sarcasm. The bird thing had been sarcasm… which meant that this might be sarcasm too. At least on Ronan’s part. Sal seemed genuine enough, even if Zuko didn’t know what he was getting at.
“Ronan asked what I meant, so I tried to answer! I’ve never heard of someone dating a bird, but it’s not that far-fetched!” he retorted, voice rising as he continued. He looked between Sal and Ronan, eyes burning as he tried to figure out what, exactly, was wrong with what he said. Or why being panromantic had anything at all to do with it. So, Sal was part of the group of people who dated outside of what was “normal.” It seemed odd to bring up so suddenly. Unless his first thought about what ‘panromantic’ meant was wrong, which was entirely possible.
And then Newt caught his attention and his confusion peaked.
“So am I, but how is that relevant?” he snapped, gesturing harshly.

The Squad | The Camping Trip | strider

Varian settled in to read, letting his eyes take in the equations as he scribbled down notes with his free hand. Much better than dealing with whatever was going on by the fire, that was for sure.
After a long moment he set his book down and brought out a small chemistry set, putting it carefully down on the uneven ground. That was the problem with being outside, he figured, that the ground was never even. He had a hard time settling anything up when there were tiny rocks everywhere.
He poked the set a little, to make sure it wouldn’t fall over. Then he began to pour in a chemical. “Just...a little,” he muttered to himself, and added a couple drops. “If my calculations are correct, this should turn into…”
Well. It sure bubbled a lot.

Juuzou nodded. “That’s okay, I think it’s nice that he took care of her,” he said simply, ignoring the other conversation completely. “He can be standoffish if he wants to. It’s not a big deal.”
He perked you a little as Noah continued. “I’ve seen baby birds before,” he said thoughtfully. “Not a baby raven. But baby bluebirds. They’re cute.”
He, too looked over at her, eyes widening a little. “She’s a bird, she was probably always this self-absorbed,” he commented, no malice in his tone as he said it.

Chainsaw seemed just a little annoyed that her moment of glory had disappeared. She stretched out her wings and flapped without taking off, then turned her head to glare at the group in general, only settling down when Ronan stroked her chest with two fingers.
Sal and Newt seemed to have the situation under control. Somewhat, anyway. Zuko couldn’t seem to stop talking to save his life.
“Don’t you dare make it seem like it’s on me,” he snapped, glaring at Zuko. “I think we know exactly what you meant.”
He looked away as Newt came out, and then Zuko. He wasn’t going to. Especially not now.
“Whatever,” he added, and got up, stalking off into the darkness, Chainsaw just a black blur on his shoulder as he disappeared.

Sal blinked, listening to Zuko’s attempts to explain. He sounded...genuinely confused, like he didn’t know what had made them all start talking about this. He seemed to be going back and forth, talking about the way the world was now in the same breath as he denied knowing why they were coming out. He flashed Newt a quick, grateful look as he came out too, probably to make sure Sal wasn’t the only one who had to answer Zuko.
“Ronan,” he said quietly, not trying to stop him so much as maybe tone him down a little.
“Dating a bird isn’t possible,” he added mildly after a moment. “Because dating is a two way street and birds can’t hold up their end. It would be one sided.”
He leaned back, taking a breath as he studied Zuko. “I don’t know that you meant it this way, but when you said “you never know who someone might want to date now” it sounded like you were trying to say my and Newt’s and everyone else who’s queer’s identities are as ridiculous as dating a bird. It came across like...I don’t know, like saying someone identifying as a different gender is like them identifying with being a cat.”
He paused, letting a moment pass. Not his best example. If Zuko thought the way his comment had implied, he might think that, too.
“I’m not trying to gang up on you or attack you. And I’m not going to jump to conclusions.” He specifically did not look at Nico when he said that. At least the other boy hadn’t backed Zuko up. That was a good sign. “But can you see why it came across that way?”

The Squad | The Camping Trip | strider

Varian turned a little as he heard the knock, stopping his muttering to try and guess who might be coming to see what he was doing. He had no idea, until he heard Nico’s voice and brightened a little.
He stood up and opened the tent, poking his head out to look at him. “Yeah, I guess they aren’t getting along as well as we hoped,” he admitted. “They all seem just a little bit...angry. But don’t worry, I’m sure it’s just a...minor issue...that won’t make the rest of the semester really awkward and uncomfortable…”
He tried for a smile, hoping to be as comforting as he could be. “Uh...anyway, I was just running a little experiment in the meantime. Science can solve anything, you know.”

Juuzou considered that, frowning a little at the idea of Ronan not wanting people to know he was a good person. That seemed like an odd sort of secret to keep, since it was the kind of thing Juuzou tried so hard to prove he actually was.
“Why wouldn’t he want anyone to know he’s a good person?” He asked curiously, ignoring the others as they stalked away. That had gone well. Actually...it had gone pretty well from his point of view. No one had gotten punched or murdered, or even yelled at, much. Yes, it could certainly have been much worse.
“I hope I can hold her sometime,” he added, smiling a little. “I’d like to.”

Ronan didn’t stop immediately as Newt called his name, didn’t even glance behind him. Why should he? He didn’t know anyone here but Noah, he didn’t even belong here...what the hell was he thinking, going to college? He’d graduated high school because Gansey had bribed people on his behalf, there was no escaping that. He’d skipped more classes than he’d attended, he’d done everything in his power to escape, and here he was, coming back on purpose...the hall was he playing at? Did he think this was somehow going to make him belong somewhere? He wasn’t stupid, he didn’t belong here, that Touka girl had known it the minute they tried to have a conversation.
“Piss off.” He said finally, but he did stop. He just didn’t turn around.

For a peacekeeper, Sal felt he was doing a very poor job of keeping the peace here. Whatever was left of it, anyway. They’d started out on the right foot, most of them...except Zuko. Zuko has seemed standoffish and hostile from the start, demanding the room, not explaining why, not wanting to let Varian in...Sal didn’t know if he liked him very much so far. He didn’t know. Truthfully, he was worried he was being too much of a pushover, so determined was he not to rock the boat that he wouldn’t save a drowning man.
It was a fine line to walk. He hated conflict, but sometimes he knew avoiding it let the wrong people win, and he knew that was a temptation he had. At least he knew about it, he supposed, though it didn’t do much good if he didn’t avoid it.
He didn’t move as Zuko. It was...well, a decent point, actually. Sal had to admit he’d also never identified as a cat, so what did he know? Maybe Zuko wasn’t completely wrong, here, maybe he had just worded it that way.
He wanted to answer. He wanted to make Zuko come back as he left, wanted to fix this. He hadn’t known what to think of Zuko, and now that he’d met him in person he only felt that way even more. He sighed, looking away at last as he was the last one left, besides Noah and Juuzou, who seemed to have decided not to engage. Had he been wrong to speak up?
He stood up, and almost thought of an excuse to leave, before he realized there wasn’t anyone left to tell it to. He sighed instead, and headed off towards the parking lot, hoping to avoid the rest of them for a while.

Nico managed a small smile, taking a seat outside of the tent. It was far enough away from Varian that he could still see and socialize with him without having to be afraid of getting too close. He peered at whatever it was that Varian was working on, listening to what he had to say.
“I guess… I’m not really used to getting along with people, but I thought everyone else would be better at it. Seems I was wrong.” He gave a small shrug, not feeling quite as optimistic as Varian was. Perhaps that was just because he tended to be more cynical than other people. He supposed he had a bit more reason to be.
“Really?” Nico asked, tilting his head just a little bit. He gave a small smile at that, grateful for the change in subject. “I’ve always been really bad at science. What are you trying to do with that?” he asked, tilting his head towards the experiment Varian was running.

Noah shrugged a little bit at that, sticking his hands in his pockets as he thought.
“He has a reputation,” he said, watching as Ronan left. Ah… he probably should have gone after him, but he didn’t want to leave Juuzou alone, not when he seemed to be getting along with him. Hopefully Newt wouldn’t bother him too much… he knew Ronan could be a little bit spiky. Thorny? He didn’t know the right word, but… not friendly. Prickly? “And he doesn’t like having friends that he’s not really close to. He doesn’t really do casual acquaintances. Which… I get. If you don’t know you can trust the people you call friends, there’s not really a point in having them, I guess.” Noah understood the impulse to not have any friends except those you could trust entirely. If he had been more careful… he’d still be alive.
“Maybe you’ll get to, one day,” Noah replied cheerfully. “I hope you do.”

“Not gonna happen,” Newt replied, stopping a few feet behind Ronan. He didn’t come too close, didn’t want to make Ronan feel pressured. There was enough going on already without him making a terrible impression on him.
“Look, if you want to storm off and have some time alone, fine. But… things got a little rough out there. And you should know that most of us don’t think like that.”
Why had he decided to follow…? He wasn’t good with words, he didn’t know what he was doing, he just… well, he knew how Zuko’s words might have impacted him if it weren’t for Sal. And he didn’t know Ronan. He didn’t know who he cared about, but… either he was a really good ally, or he was gay, too. That was the only explanation for how upset he had gotten about the words.
“I don’t want to offer you empty consolation or anything, because that’s bullshit. But if you want someone to be pissed with…”

Zuko had been pacing for a short time, trying to work off the frustration and anger that was thrumming through him. It wasn’t anyone’s fault except his own. He had… he had heard his father say things like that before, and it had been lauded as… well… a normal, respectable thing to say. It wasn’t as outright as most of what his father said, so the offensive nature of it had just gone over his head. And he’d hurt his new roommates with it. He gave a frustrated groan, burying his head in his hands. He was just… tired. And he hadn’t meant to make such a bad impression.
Kicking a couple of trees helped, a little bit. Mostly it was the chance to sit and stew in his feelings until they boiled down. He hadn’t really been paying attention to where he was walking, but he had tried to keep the campfire in sight, so he didn’t get lost.
He found himself in the parking lot about twenty minutes later, gaze catching on the way the singular streetlight caught on bright blue hair. Right. Zuko took a deep breath, letting his eyes close for just a moment as he braced himself. If Sal told him to get lost, he would. But there were things he needed to say.
Zuko cleared his throat quietly, trying to get his attention without startling him too much.
“Hey,” he said after a long moment, swallowing back some of the feelings that rose up as he thought about the campfire again. “I… shouldn’t have said what I did. And I should have listened to you when you called me out for it. Thank you for that, by the way.”

Nico’s eyes widened a little bit as Varian explained, but he didn’t interrupt. It was interesting, even if it was all stuff that Nico didn’t have a chance of understanding. If he was bad at science, he was the worst at chemistry. He was more than happy to leave that to the Hephaestus kids, who more or less made a living blowing things up. And creating things. But more often than not creating things just for the purpose of blowing them up. He could sort of see the appeal, even if he hated the idea of spending time on something you were only going to destroy later.
“I speak five languages and I only understood half those words,” Nico quipped lightly, daring to inch just a little bit closer so he could see it better, even if it was bubbling over. “I don’t mean that in a rude way. Just that it’s impressive and really far out of the range of things I’ve ever tried to do. It’s cool, I hope you manage to make it… glow?”
He looked up to meet Varian’s gaze, shrugging just a little bit. “I was just… trying to get away from the fire. And when people head off on their own I guess I make it a habit to make sure they actually want to be alone, you know?”

Noah didn’t care much for reputations. He knew his own, and he didn’t much like it. Well… he had known his own before he had ended up dead. He didn’t actually know what reputation he had now. He could probably ask Ronan, but he had a feeling his friend would make something up and then laugh about it. He figured the truth was probably that his friends thought he was a coward. Well… the would have if they remembered him. He shrugged the thought off, trying to be grateful for the third chance he had been given. He knew he didn’t deserve it.
“I agree,” Noah murmured, dipping his head. “I just hope that I find some people here to be friends with. Real friends, I mean, not just acquaintances. I have high hopes, actually. Most of the people in our suite seem really nice, even given what just happened.”

“Yeah, most,” Newt replied, crossing his arms as he thought. “I mean… there’s me and Sal, and I don’t think you think like that, otherwise you wouldn’t have said anything. I’m willing to bet Noah doesn’t think like that either, since you knew him before all this. So that’s… what, four out of eight?” He quirked an eyebrow, frowning just a little bit before something like humor crossed his expression. “Chainsaw makes five out of nine. I don’t think the bird is capable of being homophobic, so there you are. Five out of nine makes a majority. And I have no idea what the others think.” He let his hands drop to his side, expression growing a bit more serious as he regarded Ronan.
“Great,” he said, tone indicating that he didn’t believe Ronan in the slightest, but he didn’t want to push. “Look, mate, I’m not here to make you talk about your feelings or anything. I just think what was said was pretty shite, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Maybe for you,” Zuko replied, shaking his head a little. He reddened a moment later as he realized that that, too, could have been misunderstood. “I mean. About me. I mean I didn’t make a good first impression.” That was close. He breathed out, making an effort to sort through his words before they escaped. He had already messed this up enough, he didn’t want to ruin it more.
“I’m not good at this,” he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to figure out what, exactly to say. “I don’t… I don’t think you jumped on me. I think you thought I said something bigoted – and I did, without meaning to – and you tried to deal with it. My fault I didn’t understand what you meant when you did that. I still don’t… really understand, but I’m trying.” He didn’t want to make excuses, mainly because he knew that making excuses undermined an apology. He was having a hard time differentiating between an excuse and an explanation, though, so he did his best not to offer either. He didn’t really want to get into the semantics of any of it. He didn’t want to start another argument, not when it didn’t really matter. He had tried to say something inclusive, and all he’d done was cause… whatever the hell he had just caused.
“I don’t want you to have to live in a situation where you think your neighbor… suitemate… whatever… hates you. And I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”
A statement like that was pretty rich, coming from him. He frowned, ignoring the thought in the back of his head. He didn’t want to be open because he didn’t know what Varian thought, and instead of fixing the problem, he had just made more of the people he was living with afraid of the exact same things he was.

“I guess different people really are just… better at certain things,” Nico shrugged, glancing back down at Varian’s experiment. “I mean… I don’t understand most of what you were talking about with the chemistry but picking up languages comes really easily to me. The chemistry stuff is cool, I mean. It’s pretty impressive you know how to do all that stuff.” Nico loved hearing people’s experiences with different things, loved learning about their different perspectives and seeing how they saw the world. He figured his worldview was probably very different from Varian’s, if the things they were good at differed so much. He may not have been very good at making friends, but he thought this was probably a good opportunity to at least… try. He wanted to know what Varian thought of different things, wanted to hear him talk through what he was doing. But that was probably coming on too strong for a first impression.
“Yeah,” he said after a moment, shaking his head a little bit. “I have a lot of respect for Sal,” he added lightly. He didn’t want to pick sides, but… he just wanted to put it out there.

“Bit you?” Noah replied, eyes going wide. “That’s not very nice,” he added after a long moment, hugging his knees to his chest. “If I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s that you shouldn’t be friend with the kind of person who is willing to hurt you.” He rubbed at the smudge on his cheek, pushing back memories that he didn’t want to think about. College was a chance to move on from all of that, but he couldn’t change that it still hurt, even all these years later. “I promise I won’t bite you,” he added after a moment, looking up to meet Juuzou’s gaze. “And I’m not very good at fighting or anything, but if anyone tries to bite you again I have some strong words.” Noah wasn’t very good at ‘strong words’ either, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that he was making a friend, and he wanted nothing more than to be there for him.

Newt put his hands up in mock surrender, a smile creeping up onto his own face as he did so. “Excuse me for assuming that your bird isn’t a bigot. I’ll try harder next time to give her the benefit of the doubt.” His smile widened and he shrugged a little bit, letting his hands drop down to his side.
“People might be awful, but it’s one thing to hear it from a random stranger and another to hear it from someone you’re supposed to live with for a year. But yeah, I get what you mean.” He shrugged, biting his lip for a long moment as he considered what to say. Nothing seemed adequate. And he had the feeling that Ronan didn’t really want to talk about it. It was probably easier to pretend it didn’t matter than to admit that no matter how many terrible things you heard people say, they still hurt to some extent. It didn’t really matter whether Zuko had meant it or not, he had said what he said.
“Some camping trip,” Newt muttered under his breath, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Think there’s anything we can do to redeem it?”

“I’m not… really used to being around people who are accepting,” Zuko admitted, shaking his head a little bit. “I mean… obviously I know some people who are, but it’s always been something that you don’t talk about, you just… keep to yourself. And I spent a lot of time trying to figure it all out, but I know there’s a lot that I still need to learn. I didn’t think it would come up this quickly…” he felt his cheeks redden and he looked away, pointedly staring at the ground instead of anywhere else.
“I’m not trying to make excuses,” he added after a moment, lifting his gaze back up. “I think there’s a lot of things I heard at home that I thought were just… normal.” That was all he was willing to say about that. No matter how well this conversation was going (and, to Zuko’s surprise it actually was going well), he wasn’t about to talk about home with a complete stranger. Maybe eventually. But not right now.
“Nonbinary, huh?” Zuko asked, tensing a little bit as Sal came out yet again. He didn’t want to say the same thing, and he knew he was already going to have to do some research when they got back to campus. He had heard of pansexual, but he had no idea how it differed from panromantic. He was silent for a long moment before he shifted to get a better look at Sal. “So… what does that mean for pronouns?” He wasn’t sure if that was an invasive question or not, but he was genuinely trying his hardest. He had only just started to get used to professors asking for pronouns on the first day of class. It took away some of the pressure that came with trying to pass all the time, but it was a level of acceptance that he simply wasn’t used to yet.
“Zuko,” he added after a moment, letting some of the tension bleed from his shoulders. “Nice to meet you, too.” He was silent for a long moment before his gaze lifted to meet Sal’s. “Thank you for giving me a second chance.”

“You have no idea,” Nico replied, a tiny smile touching his face. Those were rare, even now, but Varian managed to bring it out. “I didn’t really think chemistry was something people did for fun, but… here you are, with your experiment, doing something really cool even though you don’t have to for an assignment.” He shrugged, letting himself relax just a little bit more. “I just think there’s a lot to learn from history. You wouldn’t believe how much history repeats itself. The faults of people in the past are the same as the faults people have now. And… I think it’s easy to forget sometimes that people have been people for forever. I mean… Ancient Babylon isn’t my chosen field, but there’s a guy we know about from there just because he sold some really terrible copper and everyone was complaining about him. I think… we owe it to the past to remember the people who lived then.” Yes, they were definitely very different people. Still… Nico found he liked hearing about what Varian was thinking. He wasn’t anywhere near close enough to him to tell him why he was so interested in history, but he enjoyed talking to him.
“I think it might be interesting to get to know everyone still,” Nico added after a moment, sounding a little hesitant. “Try to force it all into a weekend probably wasn’t our brightest idea.”

“Good,” Noah murmured, breathing a small sigh of relief as it seemed that Juuzou wasn’t going to let whoever it had been hurt him again. He almost asked who it was to make sure he avoided them too, but he figured that Juuzou would have mentioned a name if it was relevant. Besides, Juuzou seemed nice enough that he wouldn’t want to sabotage anyone else’s ability to make friends, even if they had bitten him. Based on some of the group chat conversations that Noah had watched without really chiming in on, he had a feeling he knew who it was. Then again… biting someone was a lot different from cannibalizing them, so maybe he was wrong. Either way, he planned to give Myrnin a wide berth.
“I don’t really think it’s what people at college do,” he confirmed softly, “so it shouldn’t have happened, but I hope it never does again.”

Newt could see a future where he and Ronan were friends, but that was just… a guess. A far-flung hope, of sorts. He could tell that Ronan wasn’t very quick to make friends, and he didn’t think he himself was much quicker. It took a lot for someone to gain his trust, and he wasn’t going to expedite that process just because someone else was familiar with homophobia. Although… there was a lot about Ronan that he found likeable. His sense of humor, for one, the fact he had a bird… and the way he acted like he didn’t care when he very clearly did. Yes, Newt already had a lot of respect for him, even if he didn’t know him very well. He had only gone after him because he wanted to make sure he was okay, not because he thought it would turn them into instantaneous best friends. He knew that it was unlikely he’d even consider most of these people friends by the end of the year.
“Hell yeah,” he said after a moment, a tiny smile touching his features. “Nothing like setting something on fire to undo some tension.” From anyone else it may have sounded sarcastic, but he was being genuine (mostly). “Should’ve brought one of those slow capture cameras so we could spell out some obscenities with them.”

The one thing that was clear to Zuko was that Sal was a lot braver than he was. There was a slight hint of resentment that bubbled up with the realization, but he pushed it down. If he wanted to be just as brave, now was his chance. He could tell Sal he was trans, and he knew the other boy… no… person? He’d have to ask about that, but for now he figured ‘person’ was safer… anyway, he could tell that Sal wouldn’t be anything other than supportive if he came out. And yet… it had been hard enough with his family. Hard enough to fight to be seen as himself, and then be reminded all day every day that no matter how hard he tried, he was never going to be masculine ‘enough.’ Part of what he was afraid of was coming out and getting validation from strangers. If they validated him right after he came out, it wasn’t genuine. They were saying he looked masculine because they knew he wanted to look masculine. So he kept it to himself, taking the silent acceptance of strangers as proof that he was doing good enough. Don’t give them a reason to undermine or underestimate you, he told himself, standing just a little straighter. The thought wasn’t so much about Sal as it was about… well, everyone.
“Thank you,” he said in a stilted voice. “For telling me, I mean. I mean… you knew I could’ve said something hurtful without meaning to – or maybe even with meaning to, you really don’t know me well enough to tell… and you did it anyway. So I guess… thank you for that trust.” He wasn’t sure how much he deserved it, but he left that part out. Just because he was doubting everything he did didn’t mean that Sal needed to know that.
“I’ll just… use that for you, then. Until you tell me otherwise.” He hoped that wouldn’t be seen as disregarding Sal’s identity. He was new to this. And Sal was right, he was trying, but more often than not ‘trying’ felt more like falling on his face.
“Are you serious?” he asked after a long moment, voice tentative. “I would be… grateful, in that case.” If he were at home, this would be a trap. A way for Azula to trick him into saying things he didn’t really mean and then holding it against him. Somehow, he didn’t think Sal was like that. “Tone Deaf,” he echoed after a short moment, testing out the name. “I mean… I’ll try not to be, but we both know how well that went for me.”

Test

The Squad | The Camping Trip | strider

Varian’s eyes lit up as Nico continued, his smile deepening into something even more genuine than before.
“I guess I’ve never thought of history like that before,” he admitted thoughtfully. “It always seemed really boring to me, because it already happened. I didn’t think about them just being...people.” It was a new perspective for him, and an interesting one, too. The idea that history was just stories and people being people, not dull words on a page...maybe he’d survive his history class after all.
“I guess...we’re just history that hasn’t been written down yet. Huh?” He added, voice quieter than usual. “I wonder what I’ll be remembered for. I’d like to think I’ll discover something amazing and be remembered as a hero, but...that’s probably wishful thinking.”
Something about Nico made him want to open up a little. Even if he had a hard time thinking about the things he was afraid of, sometimes. The things he really wanted.
He nodded, his expression clearing a little as Nico continued. “Well...I’ve got the wrong roommate to suggest you visit us, but I could come by your place sometime if you want. Show you some more…rats.”
He had turned around to gesture at his experiment. Unfortunately, it had bubbled over, scorched a hole in the tent, and was currently eating away at the material.
He gave a small, nervous laugh. “Uh...sooo...whose tent is this?”

Juuzou didn’t mind saying who had bitten him, but he didn’t think about doing it now. If Noah wanted to know, he’d ask, probably. And if he didn’t want to know, then Juuzou was fine with not telling him.
Biting someone was different from cannibalizing them, it was true, but you couldn’t eat someone without biting them, which had definitely occurred to Juuzou at the time. Besides...blood was a part of a person, so technically, wasn’t drinking it cannibalism?
“Yeah, it’s okay. It doesn’t hurt,” he assured Noah, wanting to make sure he knew it was fine now. “What about you? What have you been doing at college? Anything weird happen to you yet?”
He was enjoying this quite a bit, actually. This...just talking. He tended to be very action oriented, but it was kind of nice to just hang out with a nice person for a while, even if all the other people had stormed off in a rage.

Ronan didn’t care much for chances or futures. He knew it was possible he’d make friends with Newt, or even the others (maybe excluding Zuko), but...he hadn’t made new friends in a while. Not since Blue had started hanging out with them, not since...well. Maybe he wasn’t sure about the future because he couldn’t quite remember what had possessed him to go to college on purpose. He told himself firmly it wasn’t loneliness - stupid thought, of course it wasn’t - but he had a hard time thinking of reasons why. He also wasn’t sure how the hell he’d actually gotten in, he suspected Gansey had once again taken matters into his own hands but he hadn’t asked and Gansey hadn’t said anything. If he’d been Adam, he’d have murdered him for it. Since he was Ronan, he only seriously considered it.
“‘Course,” he agreed, flashing a sharp smile at Newt as the other boy agreed. “Come on. Car’s this way. Let’s ditch these losers for a while.”
He turned, heading for the parking lot. If they noticed the car was gone and thought Ronan had abandoned them all? That would just be a bonus, in his eyes.
“I bet we could get a camera, too,” he added after a moment, shrugging a little. “Just saying.”

Sal didn’t think it had to do with bravery. It wasn’t that Zuko owed him that information, or any information at all. It was a choice he didn’t have to make, a choice he could make if he wanted to, but if he did, it should be on his own time, when he was comfortable. If he wasn’t ready, Sal didn’t want to hear it yet anyway.
He didn’t know what Zuko’s family was like, but he could put together some of the pieces from things he’d said now. Zuko hadn’t had much experience with his own identity, or terminology in general.
The thing was...Zuko’s masculinity wasn’t questioned when he was closeted and passing. The thing was that Sal hated the assumption that being trans automatically opened you up to scrutiny, that anyone had something to prove just because they weren’t cis. Hell, he wore dresses sometimes and had long, bright hair, and just because he was amab, some people would most likely insist on using he/him pronouns for him and saying he looked masculine no matter what he did. It wasn’t fair that there was a double standard for afab people. It wasn’t fair that trans women were still misgendered in a dress while cis women got to wear whatever they wanted.
The thing was that cis people could be misgendered too, but people didn’t. Because it was considered rude. Funny, how that worked out for trans people.
It was almost like those people thought you were less of a boy when you were afab, or the other way around, even if they pretended to be accepting. He knew there were plenty of people who would question his status as non-binary just because he was amab and used he/him pronouns.
He had a lot of thoughts about this, clearly.
He didn’t know Zuko was trans. But he wouldn’t have thought of him any differently if he had. It was as stupid as saying someone was less of whatever gender they were because they were short or had long hair. Which...people also did.
Sometimes he could understand why people with less of a fear of conflict might get very loud and angry about this. It wasn’t his style, but he could understand it.
“Well...you didn’t say anything hurtful. On purpose or by accident. So I guess that trust is deserved,” he replied, nodding just a little bit. “And yeah, that’s cool. I’ll let you know if it ever changes.”
He nodded again. The game seemed like a decent way to make sure this didn’t happen again, and he was a difficult person to offend most of the time, so...it would hopefully work out.
“When I was just learning about this stuff, I said some things, too. No one walks into a strange house and already knows where the owner keeps the silverware, you know? And...yeah, that could have gone better. But hey. You still seem pretty cool to me.”

“I know a lot of people don’t like history very much,” Nico replied, giving a small shrug. “I mean… I didn’t really go to a traditional high school or anything so I have no idea how a high school curriculum could ruin history, but I have no doubt that it does. I mean… a lot of what you learn in high school history classes are just things they want you to know, not the stuff that’s actually interesting. I’m guessing it’s a bit different in college because you actually get to choose what you want to focus on for papers and stuff. But… yeah. History is just people. And I think there’s something in it for everyone, even if not everyone has the energy to devote to finding what that is.” Nico’s cheeks turned a bit pink as he realized how much he had ben rambling. He just… really liked history, and he wanted to explain why. And he wanted Varian to know he thought it was totally okay if he didn’t like history, even if that was partially just because a lot of people were very bad at teaching history. If he had to listen to one more class about United States presidents… it was important information, but he wasn’t really that interested in it.
“You never know,” he added, meeting Varian’s gaze. “I mean… I’m not usually a glass half-full sort of person, but the future isn’t something we can predict at all. Maybe you will be remembered for discovering something amazing. Personally, though… I think you’re changing the world just by being alive. Everyone matters. We just… tend to forget that when we talk about history.”
He shrugged a little bit at that, then managed a smile. “I’d have to ask Sal but… oh.” His gaze fell on the rapidly growing hole in the tent and he crossed his arms, considering. “It’s mine, technically. It’s… no big deal.”

“I’m glad it doesn’t hurt,” Noah replied, resisting the urge to rub at his cheek. That didn’t hurt either, except emotionally. But it didn’t sound like Juuzou knew this person, and he had a feeling a betrayal like that stung a lot more when it came from a best friend rather than a stranger.
“I haven’t had much happen, no,” he shrugged, but he didn’t sound too bothered by it. “Other than this, but this is also happening to you, so it’s not like I have anything exciting to say about it. Except… it was a little bit hard setting up all the tents and stuff. I don’t think all of us have done it before. I almost sent one flying because I bent the pole the wrong way and it looked like it was gonna slingshot out of here.” He giggled a little bit at that, shaking his head at the thought. “And I’ve been camping before. I’m just not very good at setting up tents.”

Newt gave a soft huff of amusement, a smile pulling at his features as he dipped his head and followed Ronan.
“Alright,” he replied, glancing behind them at the campfire. He didn’t even think he’d managed to be there for more than half an hour before things had devolved. They hadn’t even finished making s’mores, but they did have the next night as well, if they wanted it. If Newt were honest with himself, he wouldn’t have been surprised if the entire group ended up going home in the morning. He hoped sparklers would be able to lighten moods enough to make a difference, but he didn’t know.
“Hell yeah,” he added, a b it more enthusiasm entering his voice at the mention of the camera. He liked the idea of the photos people made spelling things out. Most of the time it was cheesy stuff, but there was nothing about the group he was with that made it seem like they would enjoy anything even remotely cheesy. Obscene seemed like a better bet. “Long exposure or whatever it’s called. I’m not much of a photography person.” Newt followed behind a few feet, not noticing Sal or Zuko as he entered the parking lot, glancing up at Ronan as he waited for him to unlock the car. It wasn’t as cool as the motorcycle, perhaps, but he was still excited about the idea of just… getting away from that conversation. Even if he wanted to come back as soon as they had the sparklers. He didn’t believe this was unsalvageable.

There were things Zuko didn’t know. Things that he hadn’t been educated on because he had never had the chance to be. What he did know was how the world treated trans people. What he did know is that he would be under scrutiny and intense questioning his entire life if he didn’t pass and pass well. Better someone never know you were trans than tell you that you were good at something, for a trans person. Those sorts of comments got under Zuko’s skin faster than almost anything else. He would never give people the chance to make those comments. He had wanted the single so he could hide things more easily, but without that… there was no way he was coming out to anyone, even Sal. Even someone who might understand. Word had a way of spreading, and if the entire suite ended up knowing… Zuko’s skin crawled at the thought.
“I think some of our suite would beg to differ on that one,” he replied, though there was only the smallest note of self-deprecation to the words. It was just the truth. His words had hurt people, whether they were intentionally hurtful or not. Not everyone was going to have the context that Zuko had given Sal. Besides, people weren’t judged based on the context that nobody else knew. They were judged based on their words and their actions. Zuko had said something bad, and though he was going to try to take responsibility for and make up for it, it was still out there. A quick glimpse out of the corner of his eyes revealed Newt and Ronan heading towards the car. Leaving. Because of him. He tensed, but decided it was probably better not to say anything. He’d have to face them on Monday anyway.
“That’s a pretty good metaphor for it,” Zuko allowed, meeting Sal’s gaze for just a brief moment before he looked away again. “I’m not… too bothered by it,” he added, “I don’t really care what they think of me. But living where you don’t feel safe is…” he trailed off, aware he was getting into dangerous territory. It would be far too easy to say too much here, so he elected to shut his mouth now. Hopefully Sal would understand his point without Zuko saying anything to reveal he knew what it was like, at least to some extent.

L | Room 4C | strider

He was probably right. Hacking into a private chat was probably not the absolute best way to say hi. In L’s defense, he hadn’t thought it was private, or he’d have respected it, but he hadn’t...thought. Maybe he needed to talk to normal people more often. People who he didn’t have any reason to hack.
He knew Orpheus was a good judge of character, and he was glad that he was counted as a good person in his view. It made him feel better about his reputation when Orpheus was around to tell him he wasn’t as cold as they all thought he was. Orpheus was nothing if not genuine, after all. He’d never have started dating L for some hidden reason. He’d never have agreed to date a cold, heartless monster, even if L did see himself that way, at times.
“Oh? I don’t remember you saying anything that would have made me not want to see you again,” he replied, surprised by the comment. He couldn’t remember anything Orpheus had done that had made him even tempted to stop talking to him, even before there had been trust. There was trust, now, and love, and L was more grateful for that than he could say.
He smiled a little, letting himself shift closer to Orpheus. “I love you, too,” he murmured. “I’m very glad I have you here. I hope I can see you a little more often, soon.”

“I’m fairly certain I made a fool of myself,” Orpheus replied softly, running a hand gently through L’s hair. It had become a habit now, and it wasn’t one he felt any need to try to break. As long as L enjoyed it, he was going to keep doing it. And L hadn’t said any word to the contrary. “Maybe that’s just because I’m probably the worst person there is at first impressions. I don’t remember what I said to you, but it was probably something either incoherent or not particularly smart.” He laughed quietly, remembering the way they had gotten to know each other. How he had trusted L long before L had trusted him, and how he had loved L, all the while believing that L could never love him back. They had acted like a couple even before he had confessed, though. He thought actually dating would change things more than it had. Really, the only thing had changed was that he was allowed to tell L he loved him. He could say the words out loud and anyone in the world could hear it. It was a wonderful feeling.
“Hopefully,” he murmured, grateful for the lack of space between them. As cheesy as it was, sometimes it felt like he needed L as much as he needed food or water. Or maybe it wasn’t a need so much as a desire, something he wouldn’t choose to give up in almost any circumstance. “I’ll have to talk to Xichen about boundaries and stuff, but I’m sure he won’t mind too much.”