Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
Name Colour
ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
Official ThunderClan & ElmClan Leader
Easing back in
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Jul 30, 2016 18:15:47 GMT -5
Guys, slow down, please. ;-; YOU ARE NOT FROM THE SONIC FRANCHISE!
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Post by ⁻ ⁻ ☾ ᵇˡᵘᵉ ᵐᵒᵒᶰ on Jul 30, 2016 18:16:36 GMT -5
BUT WE'RE SO HYPE AND HAPPY RAIN WHY DONT YOU JOIN OUR INSANE PARADE
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Post by Fallen Stars on Jul 30, 2016 18:16:38 GMT -5
[ x - - See? Poor Rain~ xD
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Post by 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 on Jul 30, 2016 18:18:36 GMT -5
@rainleaf
Okay :3
Also that is pretty cool!
@people
Sorry for acting silly earlier.
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Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
Name Colour
ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
Official ThunderClan & ElmClan Leader
Easing back in
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Jul 30, 2016 18:19:49 GMT -5
@rainleaf Okay :3 Also that is pretty cool! @people Sorry for acting silly earlier. these people are crazy, so just act like yourself, my friend. -3- |
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Post by ⁻ ⁻ ☾ ᵇˡᵘᵉ ᵐᵒᵒᶰ on Jul 30, 2016 18:20:42 GMT -5
truth xDD ^
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Post by Fallen Stars on Jul 30, 2016 18:25:28 GMT -5
[ x - - Ehhh yeah, that's kinda true~ c;
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Post by ᴏᴡʟ on Jul 30, 2016 18:27:27 GMT -5
Sorry... T-T </3
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Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
Name Colour
ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
Official ThunderClan & ElmClan Leader
Easing back in
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Jul 30, 2016 18:30:48 GMT -5
Cyn's Role-play SampleLillytuft and Rowanfeather | Heading to the Riverbank | Reaching High Noon
Lillytuft sighed she really didn't want to answer the question because the subject was rather touchy.
"I'm surprised that Pebblesplash didn't complain about me to you. I'm known as the pushover and the weaker link. And when I try to be assertive I have a hard time doing so. And at times I feel like I can't do anything right," she said she didn't sound sad but tired. She was so sick of others taking her kind demeanor and twisting it for their own gain.
"That's why I go to the Riverbank to ease my mind and not get so aggravated all the time. Also, it doesn't help the fact I'm deaf in my left ear." Since she is deaf in her left ear it's hard to hear but she learned to not rely on hearing but feeling the vibrations of the ground and the scents in the air. She began to look around her surroundings she opened her mouth smelling the scents of the forest. Her blue and green eyes scanned each tree and each bush wondering if some sort of critter would come scrambling out. Although, nothing came out. Not a creature stirred or any rustling of leaves whether it was from the tree's above; or the bushes on the ground. Everything seemed to be muffled to her trying to listen out of one ear was difficult. She opened her mouth and allowed the scents of the forest rest on her tongue. She could smell the crispness of the leaves, the scent of mice, and a little bit of the mist from the river's cool waters. They were getting closer to the River Bank. The white fluffy she-cat gave a slight sigh as she thought about getting into the cool water against her white pelt and the fish swim around her legs. It made her whiskers twitch in excitement.
"Despite her weakness, she learned to rely on the soft vibrations of the ground and the scents in the air."
It gives us more information without being too much and repetitive. But, as I said, despite those little things, it's a good post. I've seen other posts of yours and I think you chose one that doesn't serve your skills justice. I appreciate that, though, because I'd rather have someone give me one of their worst over giving an over-the-top post that in no way shows how they role-play.
EDIT: Since I'm a dunce and didn't say whether or not you're accepted, I have to edit my post. Good job, Rain.. Good job.. You're accepted as helper, welcome to the crew. o3o |
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Post by peach ⋆ on Jul 30, 2016 18:33:20 GMT -5
{{ Hey guys, here's my writing sample! And I won't take it personally if I don't make the cut, it's been a loooong time since I've last roleplayed and I admit I'm a little rusty xc }}
The first thing Dapplepaw sensed was the sweet warbling of the early morning songbirds, which was a pleasant wake-up call to any cat living in the forest. The summer air was humid and moist, the damp and dewy moss clinging to her fur. The second thing she felt was a burr in her pelt, right above her shoulder, tangled in her fur. In order to accommodate her new discovery, she squirmed around in her nest of moss, but to no avail: the burr persisted. The third thing she sensed was the shrill cry of her mentor- and Dapplepaw internally groaned.
"Dapplepaw! Get up, you lazy lump! You and me are both on the dawn patrol- and they're leaving soon! Get a move on before you hold us all back!" Sweetfang demanded.
Dapplepaw blinked open her bleary green eyes and frowned at the still-blurry image of the senior warrior standing in the entrance of the apprentices' den, back hunched and fur raised. The sunlight that filtered into the den was cut off by Sweetfang's silhouette, which admittedly provided Dapplepaw some much-wanted darkness. A few of the other apprentices offered sleepy, quiet mumbles of protest at the warrior's alarming yowls.
"Alright, alright! I'm awake!" Dapplepaw growled, slowly rising to her paws and deliberately stretching out each and every one of her limbs very slowly, just to get on her mentor's nerves. The irritated look on Sweetfang's face morphed into an expression of rage. The young, cheeky apprentice never felt so gleeful at successfully annoying Sweetfang. Yes, it was a little disrespectful, but Dapplepaw couldn't help it! Especially if my mentor is the most authoritarian cat in the clan, Dapplepaw mentally added on as a side note, internally grumbling. The little tawny tortoiseshell she-cat finished her over-exaggerated stretches with a content, sighing purr. Sweetfang lashed her tail and flattened her ears, lips pulled back in a threatening snarl. A small part of Dapplepaw regretted this, cursing herself for being so impulsive and rebellious, while the rest applauded her for her gutsy courage to stand up to that old bag of bones. She wondered why Sweetfang was not an elder yet, and internally snorted at the thought of a cranky Sweetfang being tended to by her fellow apprentices.
"You better be out here soon unless you want to tend to the elders for a moon!" Sweetfang snapped, turning tail and stalking toward the entrance.
Dapplepaw scoffed, rolling her eyes, but diligently began to follow her mentor out, a sour look on her face. Well, that wasn't much of a great start to the day.
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Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
Name Colour
ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
Official ThunderClan & ElmClan Leader
Easing back in
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Jul 30, 2016 18:36:11 GMT -5
I don't think I'm going to be claiming a clan, but I'll help out!
-rummages around for RP sample and pulls out skeleton- Just gonna use an old Shellpaw x Willowpaw response, if that's okay.
Now, Shellpaw could have had a nice start to his day. He could have woken up pleasantly to the sound of whistling birds, and breezes gently tickling their way through the trees. He could have woken up and immediately fallen back asleep- which was a true perfect morning, in his sleepy eyes. But, as it was often rumored, Shellpaw was unlucky; so unlucky, that he had Willowpaw as his painfully close nest-mate. Now, Willowpaw and Shellpaw’s relationship was a tricky thing. It was… brittle, you could say. Stiff. He never knew where this she-cat was going to take him, but he knew for a fact that he was never looking forward to his destination. You see, for some reason or another, Willowpaw apparently had it out for him. She was always pulling little stunts on him; casting him quippish remarks, or tripping him up in the simplest of situations- and for what reason? He hadn’t the faintest idea… well, that wasn’t entirely true. He did have a few ideas. One of them could be that she was spending too much time around his superstitious aunt, Webbedsky. Ever since he had been but a tiny kit- not that that had been all too long ago- the dark she-cat had always been a bit unnerved by him. He didn’t entirely understand it, but he didn’t question it either. There was something about ‘bad luck’, and ‘omens’... it took too much energy for him to try and unwind that ball of confusion, so he left it as is. She didn’t bother him, and he didn’t bother her; it was a silent agreement, of sorts. But Willowpaw- Willowpaw didn’t have any type of agreement with him. Willowpaw seemed to delight in torturing him- as she was doing now.
Drawing in a sharp breath as his fuzzy dreams of catching moths and dappled sunlight were dashed, Shellpaw gave the tiniest hint of a wince at the sharp jab to his spine. Even with his head still clogged with sticky cobwebs of sleep, the pale white tom already knew who had woken him up so rudely. This was obviously Willowpaw, and Willowpaw spared him not the simplest of pleasantries.
Can’t I just go back to sleep…? He pondered after a moment or two. No, because Floodcrest was up; that meant everyone was up. Still, he hadn’t even bothered to lift his head- heck, he hadn’t even cracked open an eye. Maybe if he simply laid there, he could lull back into his dream world… no, Willowpaw would definitely shake him out of it. If Willowpaw didn’t, then Floodcrest’s yowling would. If Floodcrest’s yowling didn’t, then that only left was that strange little nose whistle he could hear coming from Howlingpaw.
To translate: he was out of options.
Blinking open one eye, than the other, the full extent of how pale Shellpaw was was was slowly revealed with each slow, sleepy blink he took. Blushy, snow colored skin, and fur just as pale; his pelt was so white- so bright- that it was almost garish. Not to mention the eyes, which were a violet hued blue. It didn’t look natural in the slightest; then again, the small tom simply didn’t look natural overall. He looked more like a ghost than he did an actual cat. His listless behavior never did much to help that either. Haunting, was a good word to describe how he occupied a space.
Lifting his slightly ruffled head, the tom didn’t seem to have any intentions of speaking as he slowly let his pale gaze adjust to the creeping of the morning light. Was it going to be clear skies today? He hated clear skies… that meant a lot of sunshine, and that meant a lot of stress on his eyes. For a moment, his pale ears flicked back atop his head, but again, no words left his mouth. Willowpaw had already soured his day; and thinking this, his head suddenly swiveled towards the dappled she-cat. What had he done to deserve this? He’d been sleeping- in fact, that was really all he ever did. It bothered him sometimes when Willowpaw picked on him. Not because she did, but because he didn’t know why. Was it because she thought like Webbedsky? Was he… scary? Was he bad luck? Perhaps he’d never know, and he’d just have to live with that constant itch in the back of his skull.
But he didn't have to think about that now, nor did he want to.
“That hurt, you know…”
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Post by ᴏᴡʟ on Jul 30, 2016 18:37:04 GMT -5
got it
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Post by ⁻ ⁻ ☾ ᵇˡᵘᵉ ᵐᵒᵒᶰ on Jul 30, 2016 18:41:33 GMT -5
my roleplay post is pretty bad because i was in a hurry to write it before my computer restarted itself again.. it's been doing that a lot lately, and I know that isn't really an excuse, but I'll make sure to write better posts once I really get to roleplaying c:
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Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
Name Colour
ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
Official ThunderClan & ElmClan Leader
Easing back in
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Jul 30, 2016 18:45:05 GMT -5
my roleplay post is pretty bad because i was in a hurry to write it before my computer restarted itself again.. it's been doing that a lot lately, and I know that isn't really an excuse, but I'll make sure to write better posts once I really get to roleplaying c: |
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Post by Sand on Jul 30, 2016 18:48:10 GMT -5
Poofed, sorry owo ~
Yo, Rain, let me know if you need help, okay? <3
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Post by ⁻ ⁻ ☾ ᵇˡᵘᵉ ᵐᵒᵒᶰ on Jul 30, 2016 18:48:34 GMT -5
alright nwn
So, who's all taking what Clan? have we decided? I know I want wind =3=
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Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
Name Colour
ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
Official ThunderClan & ElmClan Leader
Easing back in
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Jul 30, 2016 18:52:28 GMT -5
We need the leaders first, Indi. xD
Sand is being a kind person and helping me out. ;3;
I'm kind of too tired to write an original post, so I may just post one from RippleClan.
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Post by Sand on Jul 30, 2016 18:53:48 GMT -5
Fea && Lynx -- I will be reviewing your rp samples as Rain takes care of the others.
I copied mine from Ripple so xD
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Post by ⁻ ⁻ ☾ ᵇˡᵘᵉ ᵐᵒᵒᶰ on Jul 30, 2016 18:53:58 GMT -5
oh, right xD getting ahead of myself again!
sorry the hype is killing me owo
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Post by Featherwing on Jul 30, 2016 18:57:00 GMT -5
Woop, okie dokie Sand! Looking forward to the critiques  |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2016 19:06:54 GMT -5
Cyn's Role-play SampleLillytuft and Rowanfeather | Heading to the Riverbank | Reaching High Noon
Lillytuft sighed she really didn't want to answer the question because the subject was rather touchy.
"I'm surprised that Pebblesplash didn't complain about me to you. I'm known as the pushover and the weaker link. And when I try to be assertive I have a hard time doing so. And at times I feel like I can't do anything right," she said she didn't sound sad but tired. She was so sick of others taking her kind demeanor and twisting it for their own gain.
"That's why I go to the Riverbank to ease my mind and not get so aggravated all the time. Also, it doesn't help the fact I'm deaf in my left ear." Since she is deaf in her left ear it's hard to hear but she learned to not rely on hearing but feeling the vibrations of the ground and the scents in the air. She began to look around her surroundings she opened her mouth smelling the scents of the forest. Her blue and green eyes scanned each tree and each bush wondering if some sort of critter would come scrambling out. Although, nothing came out. Not a creature stirred or any rustling of leaves whether it was from the tree's above; or the bushes on the ground. Everything seemed to be muffled to her trying to listen out of one ear was difficult. She opened her mouth and allowed the scents of the forest rest on her tongue. She could smell the crispness of the leaves, the scent of mice, and a little bit of the mist from the river's cool waters. They were getting closer to the River Bank. The white fluffy she-cat gave a slight sigh as she thought about getting into the cool water against her white pelt and the fish swim around her legs. It made her whiskers twitch in excitement.
"Despite her weakness, she learned to rely on the soft vibrations of the ground and the scents in the air."
It gives us more information without being too much and repetitive. But, as I said, despite those little things, it's a good post. I've seen other posts of yours and I think you chose one that doesn't serve your skills justice. I appreciate that, though, because I'd rather have someone give me one of their worst over giving an over-the-top post that in no way shows how they role-play.
EDIT: Since I'm a dunce and didn't say whether or not you're accepted, I have to edit my post. Good job, Rain.. Good job.. You're accepted as helper, welcome to the crew. o3o |
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Post by 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 on Jul 30, 2016 19:13:04 GMT -5
Hey if you want me to, I can write a new sample  |
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Post by Sand on Jul 30, 2016 19:16:00 GMT -5
Going to start reviewing Fea's & Lynx's samples.
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Post by 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 on Jul 30, 2016 19:21:41 GMT -5
@ Sand: Thanks! Also if you want I can write a new one, sense that one was a bit rushed.
@edit?: How is everyone?
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Post by ᴍɪsᴛғᴀʟʟ » on Jul 30, 2016 19:22:08 GMT -5
I also posted my sample a while back if you wish for me to repost it! Otherwise I'll be hanging around, working with characters and my den u///u
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Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
Name Colour
ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
Official ThunderClan & ElmClan Leader
Easing back in
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Jul 30, 2016 19:31:57 GMT -5
I am a huge dunce and shall go into the corner of shame.
I will finish going through role-play posts after I post this one, I got sidetracked and made a big no-no.
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Post by Kitsune on Jul 30, 2016 19:34:12 GMT -5
*crashes in* Hey guys! It's me Toriel, but I decided to change my display name. I would love to help out if you guys are accepting any more helpers and I do not wish to lead a clan. Just in case I will go ahead and post my roleplay sample below.
Tick tock tick…
The constant sound of time passing away echoed throughout the small room. No matter where one decided to go that sound would follow and it demanded to be noticed. It could not move, but it didn’t have to. It didn’t matter where you were for it had different ways of getting what it wanted. The most famous way was crawling into the depths of your mind and playing that same song over and over again. Its appearance wasn’t any better. It had unnatural facial features as it had these strange symbols within the depths of its glassy face. There were also these strange lines that would move. One was large, but the other one was small and they would move over these symbols. It had a trunk-like body with a gold branch hanging inside. At the end of it there was a gold circle and while it never move if something or someone touches it the branch will swing back and forth. It only stops if one forces it to or it loses its momentum. The gold branch was protected by a barrier similar to those you would see scatter about in a twoleg’s den. It was the only way to enter and exit out of something and this one was no different. Another thing was its size. It was huge and if it ever loses it balances it could probably crush something flat.
On the other side of this strange beast’s realm, the scenery was much different here. This was Mother Nature domain where there were birds singing, the elements of the weather reign, and greenery was everywhere. Well almost since even Mother Nature could not stop the influence of Twolegs. An example of this was the strange rectangular shaped logs that acted as a barrier between a twoleg den (where the beast hides) and the forest. There was another being sitting on it, but this one was a living and quite common. It was a young orange and white tabby she-cat. She currently was staring off at the forest with mix emotions. To her there was a part of her that wanted to explore more of the forest, but she was too afraid to move any farther where she could not see the den. At night she never bothered as the fear of the unknown scared her and those stories definitely didn’t help. The storyteller responsible for this was a gray and white tom who was known as Holmes. He kept meowing on and on about the stories of unnatural beasts that could kill a cat just by staring at them. In this vast area full of twoleg dens he was located in a circular thunderpath. Well he wasn’t on it, but his den was close to it and there was a path that leads from the thunderpath to his den.
Tick tock tick…
No matter how much she continue trying to focus on the forest she had fallen victim to the strange beast’s calls. It was a despairing thought for her because as long as she lived here she would never be able to escape it. To add salt to the wounds it was quite annoying and to think as a kit she thought it was cool to listen to its “musical” notes. She wasn’t sure why, but unlike her kithood now a days she felt anxious by it. Something about the sound made her feel like it was counting away at something and that she needed to have this sense of urgency to reach it whether or not she like it. She guessed it was the way her twoleg reacted toward it. The way he would look at it sometimes with such urgency and rushing out mumbling things or giving her a quick kiss and a loving pat before he rush out confused and worried her. She never understood that being’s purpose, but they must have something of value to them or else why would he react in such a matter? It made her curious what would happen if he didn’t follow its demands. Would one of those unknown beasts that Holmes talked about pop out? She shivered at the thought. To continue on her despair it made her wonder if the being was talking to her. She couldn’t understand anything it was saying, but if it was how much patience would it have left with her?
Shaking her head she quickly dismissed the thought. She would go and visit one of the twoleg dens around here. The one she was thinking about enjoy giving her food and patting her. At the moment her twoleg wasn’t around so it sounded like a good idea and anything to get rid of this despair of hers. The only thing she had to be concern about was the dogs. It was rather sad when she briefly thought about them. This area was full of them and sometimes it felt like almost every den had one in it. Of course there were some here and there, but most of the time the cats were either away or inside. She was lucky if she could have a brief conversion with one. It was starting to get to the point she would actively look for complete strangers that would cross her yard sometimes so she had someone to talk to. Leaping off the logs she began her quest towards getting treats and it would be her last.
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Post by ⁻ ⁻ ☾ ᵇˡᵘᵉ ᵐᵒᵒᶰ on Jul 30, 2016 19:36:17 GMT -5
Toriel! It's wonderful to see you again! Hello! c:
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Post by Sand on Jul 30, 2016 19:38:50 GMT -5
Rain, I can take Loony's too ^^;
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Post by Sand on Jul 30, 2016 19:41:20 GMT -5
Echo was taking her normal routine walk, each paw-step placed as a delicate one. Her cyan eyes shining and retracting when the light hit it's pupils. Though this was a normal thing she did, something unique still happened. As she started to hear near voices, she turned that way to look for them, the left to be sure. In confusion, she saw only trees. Deciding that curiosity had her mind locked on what, and who they where, she began to venture into the forest. The voices where rather familiar, and upon walking to them, she gave off a grin. "Hello Snake, Yew, Rye, and Shrew!" , Echo said in cheer. Almost in unison her friends responded to her, giving off similar smiles. Snake was a grey tom with brown eyes, Yew was a yellow she-cat with orange eyes, Rye was a tom and his fur was colored black with tabby silver markings and green eyes, while Shrew was a smaller tom with a long muzzle, with black and white fur and blue eyes. Echo was a black cat with white speckles and blue eyes as well, she was Shrew's sister. Echo gave off a smirk, and flattened her ears. "First one to get to the top of the oak gets to choose what we do today!" , she stated. "GO!" , she then shouted, and leaped off the forest floor, digging her claws into the oaks trunk. She began to quickly climb, slipping some, but regaining balance and soon perching herself near they top. She made one last leap and started to drag herself to the top, only to see Snake already there, she gave off a growl. But smiled as she watched the sun in the sky, and gave a nod as the rest of her friends got to the top. (Can I have SkyClan?) [ Going to do my best with this, I haven't reviewed RP posts in quite some time! I'm sorry if this comes off harsh, I had to ask Rain to review so I wouldn't sound mean ;n; ]] Lynxleap, I do see some punctuation mistakes here in your sample. For example, you don't need the commas I've colored in red. I would suggest that the description of Echo's friends isn't necessary and you could have included the dialogue between the 5 cats when they met up. You could have said: "Hey, Echo!" her friends mewed in reply, each one of them smiling back at her, pleased with her presence. // I've also found at least two run-on sentences (colored in black) within your roleplay post. Other than that, your RP post is nice! Good job ~! |
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