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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2020 23:43:52 GMT -5
So I have a pretty bad temper. I know what works and how to calm myself down, but I struggle to remain calm when I'm getting yelled it. When someone yells at me, I fire up, and get upset and flash back and things go downhill from there. And deep down, I KNOW I can't act like this outside my home. And since I'll probably be going back to work soon, dealing with morons who won't be wearing masks and disrespecting rules, it's going to be hard to control this. Can anyone give me advice how to control your temper? It's especially harder for me cause I am autistic, so self-control is VERY hard for me.
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Post by Skypaw13 on Sept 23, 2020 0:30:06 GMT -5
Don't look down on breathing. Breathing is a real, proven way to forcibly calm your system down. Yeah, you'll still be angry after taking five deep breaths, but you won't be in a rage and you'll be able to think clearly.
Pretty much every person I know who has problems with temper is also someone who says breathing techniques are stupid and doesn't actually do them.
As for autism-specific advice, I got nothing. My sister is autistic, but she's never had problems with anger or rage. I assume breathing should still work as a starting point though.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2020 8:33:58 GMT -5
For me stim toys help, something to fiddle with/squish a lot when I have emotions of any kind I have specific ones for different things
Idk about taking them to work tho cuz idk how to clean a lot of mine but at home at least there's that
My therapist always says breathing techniques too but I'm not good at that/remembering to do it but I'm trying
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Post by Northstar3213 on Sept 23, 2020 8:43:42 GMT -5
I’m not autistic, but I’m a caretaker for my two brothers who are on the spectrum. One technique my mom has done with one of my brothers is a counting technique. If she notices he’s getting worked up or stressed she’ll ask him to do some counting exercises like “Count to a hundred by fives” or “backwards from thirty by twos” and that will help distract him from what was making him upset because his focus will be on the task given to him.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2020 12:36:54 GMT -5
I've been diagnosed, however, what works for me might not work for you. I agree with Thee Owl Theydy with having something in hand. What I like to do, is I like to do, is I like to squeeze things, it allows me to take out my frustration on the thing, rather on someone else. It's not a fool proof thing, but it has helped. I wish you the best of luck with this whole ordeal.
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Post by elderfan on Sept 23, 2020 12:51:15 GMT -5
My son is autistic, and he really struggles with sudden flares of anger. The thing that seems to be working best for him at the moment is focusing on his breathing and/or counting as he does so. It seems to short circuit the rage eventually, and the more he does it, the quicker he is being able to get things under control. He also finds hitting something like a pillow/his punching pads helps vent the anger, but that's less practical outside of the home.
Wishing you all the best, it's a hard one to deal with, but the fact you are looking for solutions is some of the battle already won. Good luck.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2020 14:25:29 GMT -5
My son is autistic, and he really struggles with sudden flares of anger. The thing that seems to be working best for him at the moment is focusing on his breathing and/or counting as he does so. It seems to short circuit the rage eventually, and the more he does it, the quicker he is being able to get things under control. He also finds hitting something like a pillow/his punching pads helps vent the anger, but that's less practical outside of the home. Wishing you all the best, it's a hard one to deal with, but the fact you are looking for solutions is some of the battle already won. Good luck. Yeah it's extremely hard, we have a stepdad who doesn't listen to anyone and it really pisses me off.. he makes my blood boil and I had a huge fight with him last night to respect my mom and he doesn't care... meditation helps temporarily but not for too long.. I'll consider the counting thing
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