|
Post by Leapkit on Jan 14, 2020 6:59:15 GMT -5
I hate that it's becoming harder and harder for me to hear things lately. And I don't mean that as in I'm going deaf but more like I just can't pick apart sounds as words. Although in general my ears have been having an averse reaction to any noise. My hearing is very good, I can still hound in on the tiniest of noises and locate them.
Like if there's a sound, music, my neighbors, whatever, it doesn't matter, I just automatically hate hearing it and it starts to trigger an anger response from me. I want to immediatly turn it off or get away from the noise and if I can't i just become irritable, sometimes even verbally or physically aggressive with whatever or whoever was the perpetrator of disrupting the silence.
Whenever people talk to me or I hear conversation it's also getting harder and harder for me to process what's being said. I'll mishear every other word or need it repeated multiple times before my brain actually picks up on it. Sometimes the things people say to me barely sound like english.
The only time I'm not hating hearing anything is if it's ambient noise. Like a fan blowing or how I'm typing on my keyboard right now or the random creaking around the apartment. Smaller subtle "white noise" isn't an issue.
It's also not always an issue when I listen to my music or play a game but sometimes even then I can't stand more than 2-3 songs at a time or have to mute the game or stop playing it. My annoyance also reduces if the song in question has lyrics i can follow or the game has easy subtitles and options I can read.
Alongside that, I'm also having a harder time finding speaking words? I've even gone semi-mute a few times now because brain is too busy thinking but when trying to come out of my mouth it just goes ????????? If I'm writing I'll be fine but like. I can't write at people when they're having a conversation with me and reality doesn't have closed captioning.
tldr The speaking/hearing language part of my brain is just broken or something idk.
|
|
|
Post by Leapkit on Jan 14, 2020 7:06:40 GMT -5
It's also worth mentioning that around this time last year I had a migraine so bad it behaved like a stroke/mini seizure and I had an MRI that showed that I have a chiari malformation that had previously been completely asymptomatic but is now causing problems.
I've had multiple migraines that bad since then, and it's always affected the left side of my body to go numb/limp/twitchy/all of the above. But according to the doctors and scans it's... just a migraine... but i'm seriously starting to wonder if they were wrong or missed something...
|
|
|
Post by Leapkit on Jan 14, 2020 8:12:32 GMT -5
Okay so apparently that's actually a thing that also possibly gets impaired with a chiari malformation and I just wasn't told about it and had to go looking around for it myself.
I hate how little my doctors tell me. I was only told about chiari causing headaches and affecting balance motor skills, not all this extra stuff that would have been good to know. Because apparently it can also affect speech, memory, put me at risk for syringomelia, and... basically A N Y brain function can be impacted. Not just the back of the brain where the malformation is.
|
|
|
Post by Leapkit on Jan 14, 2020 8:16:32 GMT -5
Like for crists sake i'm the one being impacted by this can't you have the decency to tell me what it entails or am i just expected to figure it out on my own on the internet. fk
|
|
|
Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jan 14, 2020 15:44:43 GMT -5
medical industry sucks in general. my brother went through medical school but we hear so many horror stories from him about completely incompetent, bias, overly prideful doctors. actually happened to my other brothers' family. long story put briefly, one of their toddler sons accidentally ingested a morphine pill and they took him into ICU. tests said it was heroine and thus began a month long trauma of CPS almost taking all their kids (they stayed with my parents, their grandparents) while my brother and his wife underwent intense investigation for drug use. even though they found nothing they were STILL unwilling to let the kids live at home again. until my other (doctor) brother looked at the original drug test and discovered whoever originally interpreted the results as heroin was an IDIOT because it was clearly morphine. like, you could google "how to read a drug test" and figure it out in five minutes. so because of that one guy's completely incompetency, my brother's family had to go through a month of thinking they'd lose their kids.
in terms of your problems, it sounds in part misophonia and audio processing issues. I can relate to both. if i'm ever trying to focus (on anything), surrounding noise needs to be at a constant level; so background chatter, machine hums, etc are fine. but any time a noise rises above the rest to become distinct, my focus will snap to it in an instant, and then i get frustrated because i literally cannot stop noticing it. it might be an ADD thing. music, yelling, muffled banging from the dorm downstairs, microwave beeps, etc all frustrate me. i'm used to it. but it does get really annoying when the people around you act like you're crazy for this sensitivity. like, it's not THAT weird to think people shouldn't practically scream a conversation to a person sitting next to them so that the whole room hears.
i've had audio processing issues my whole life. i can recognize a car door slam from down the street but cannot understand what someone just said to me. it can make some aspects of life anxious, like phone calls with strangers (afraid to ask them to repeat themselves a third time). but i've also learned to turn it into a humor, by repeating back what i thought someone said even if i know it's probably not what they said. it can be funny.
i'm sorry that you're struggling, though. idk what you can do about the hearing stuff, but the speaking bit might be helped by speech therapy. might be worth looking into, whether it's a professional or some home exercises.
|
|
|
Post by Leapkit on Jan 14, 2020 16:38:43 GMT -5
oh yeah, i also forgot auditory processing can be affected by add/adhd, which i also have.
Though I feel that the sudden decline of my hearing is more of a chiari/headache issue and not an adhd issue since i've had adhd my whole life and dealt with it but the chiari only started gaining symptoms after the c sec. I previously only had migraines from staring at something to long or when my glasses perscription started to go wrong. Now I get them just 'cause and multiple times a week or een a day.
|
|
|
Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jan 15, 2020 1:17:18 GMT -5
oh yeah, i also forgot auditory processing can be affected by add/adhd, which i also have. Though I feel that the sudden decline of my hearing is more of a chiari/headache issue and not an adhd issue since i've had adhd my whole life and dealt with it but the chiari only started gaining symptoms after the c sec. I previously only had migraines from staring at something to long or when my glasses perscription started to go wrong. Now I get them just 'cause and multiple times a week or een a day. makes sense. doesn't sound fun though :[ sorry you weren't warned about such possible side effects beforehand.
|
|
|
Post by Leapkit on Jan 15, 2020 1:40:54 GMT -5
Yeah, but. At least I have another neurologist appointment coming up in february.
|
|
|
Post by Leapkit on Jan 16, 2020 13:18:36 GMT -5
I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF WHY IS MY MEMORY RECOLLECTION SO BAD. I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE NAMES OF MY OWN OCS ANYMORE RIGHT NOW. YESTERDAY I COULDN'T COME UP WITH DAKOTAS NAME FOR A GOOD 5 MINUTES WHEN I WAS TRYING TO CALL HIM FOR HELP WHY IS MY BRAIN THIS BAD WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.
|
|
|
Post by Leapkit on Jan 16, 2020 13:26:30 GMT -5
I had to boot up skyrim to remember it and I kept thinking it started with B and I was even wrong about that it's Damesaruk and she's literally my first skyrim character and i shouldn't have forgotten her name what the hell is wrong with me.
|
|
|
Post by Turin not Torino on Jan 17, 2020 1:13:56 GMT -5
I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF WHY IS MY MEMORY RECOLLECTION SO BAD. I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE NAMES OF MY OWN OCS ANYMORE RIGHT NOW. YESTERDAY I COULDN'T COME UP WITH DAKOTAS NAME FOR A GOOD 5 MINUTES WHEN I WAS TRYING TO CALL HIM FOR HELP WHY IS MY BRAIN THIS BAD WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. This is why in my house, we just refer to each other as "Hey!" when calling from room to room. Seriously though, this reminds me of the memory issues you were having a couple of years ago. I'm worried about you.
|
|
|
Post by Leapkit on Jan 17, 2020 10:04:13 GMT -5
I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF WHY IS MY MEMORY RECOLLECTION SO BAD. I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE NAMES OF MY OWN OCS ANYMORE RIGHT NOW. YESTERDAY I COULDN'T COME UP WITH DAKOTAS NAME FOR A GOOD 5 MINUTES WHEN I WAS TRYING TO CALL HIM FOR HELP WHY IS MY BRAIN THIS BAD WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. This is why in my house, we just refer to each other as "Hey!" when calling from room to room. Seriously though, this reminds me of the memory issues you were having a couple of years ago. I'm worried about you. Where I literally kind of forgot who I was and who other people were for like, a month? yeah that was kind of weird even for me. i'm afraid of it happening again too.
|
|
|
Post by Leapkit on Jan 17, 2020 12:45:46 GMT -5
I had actually kinda forgot that had even happened until you brought it up but I think that was around this time if year too and I've been trying to think of what could be causing it and I just can't because I don't remember what was going on around that time. Why is my brain such a mess?
|
|
|
Post by Turin not Torino on Jan 18, 2020 0:45:37 GMT -5
I think it was a few months later than this, because it was closer to when I came out there (July), since I had to ask if you even knew who I was to want me to come out there.
|
|
|
Post by Leapkit on Jan 18, 2020 1:55:34 GMT -5
My thoughts were weird. I knew who people were vaguey but just couldn't remember very many facts about them and it was like meeting people over again for the first time even though I knew them? It only didn't apply to people I was closer friends with or around all the time. Like. For instance I knew who dakota was and could recall recent memories but if you had asked me then to tell you how we met I wouldn't have been able to. But somewhere between forgetting and now I've connected back with those memories again so I can remember things NOW.
Although that being said it still partially feels like those experiences happened to someone else. They're depersonalized.
|
|
|
Post by 🆉🅴🅻🅳🆁🅸🆂 on Jan 18, 2020 2:02:15 GMT -5
I have this issue, but it is more related to my ADHD and some sounds are triggers for me. So I will either have a panic attack (not often) or get very irritable. When I speak, I do the same; sometimes I’ll even combine 2 sentences and it will make absolutely no sense. I’ve asked for help as well with doctors, but they aren’t much help. The best method I’ve used so far is auditory processing and speaking slower, more deliberate.
|
|