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Post by Sparky on Mar 27, 2020 15:44:16 GMT -5
[lmao the picture. i need to fix that ]
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Mar 27, 2020 16:02:43 GMT -5
I loved it!)
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Post by Sparky on Mar 27, 2020 16:10:22 GMT -5
[ i think i really like the idea of a rebellion brewing and pretty much boiling at this point, so there'll be some sort of organization that has successfully infiltrated the Capitol and has various people on the inside. Ultimately I'm wanting these games to be a failed rebellion attempt, and then of course we'll have the actual rebellion during the 5th quarter quell if we ever want to do that ]
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Mar 27, 2020 16:35:36 GMT -5
(Yesss I love all this!)
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Post by 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 on Mar 28, 2020 1:09:35 GMT -5
Dealing with Death
I remember when things were clear, and easy, back before I came to the games, before I volunteered for the girl. I remember when it was easy, we’ll, it was never easy, but when it was easier. I thought my life was hard, and it was. But now, everythingnwas much worse.
I didn’t understand it, I knew we were doing what was best. But I was curious, in how we were found.
“Maddie?” Everest is hugging me to him, as I stare out the windows, evacuation. They found a place for us to stay now. But we aren’t allowed to go yet.
Ari is beside us. But now Macaria and Holly are gone. We don’t know where, but it’s been hours. In the distance, I can see Capitol gleaming. We woke up, and no one was there.
Ari, of course, is pessimistic, he has been since Halina died. “We lost them,” is what he says. I glance at him, taking note of the bandage over his arm. He was absent when we first discovered it, but now he’s here, he has been, as we all watched the dawn.
“What do you mean we lost them?” I demanded, glaring at Ari as he backed up, eyes wide. Maybe I scared him, but I know Macaria, she’s on a death mission to get back at Louden. She won’t stop until either he dies, or she’s dead.
“I mean that Diana told me that they’re gone.” Ari responded, raising his hands, a frown on his face. And I feel bad for a moment, because he winces as he moves his arm. I had no idea why they did that, but he just said it was an IV gone wrong.
“How are they gone?” I questioned, fiddling with a ring on my finger, it wasn’t the prettiest thing, but it was the best thing I had, and the thing mst closest to my heart. “They were here yesterday!” I racked on, feeling my worry building. Holly, she was worried about Burton. Everything has went downhill for her too. Burton left, her neglectful father was back, having moved on.
“I mean that...sometime during the night, they left!” Ari shouted, wincing in pain as he moved, but I didn’t move much, gripping my head and pulling at my hair, eyes wide.
“Where could they have gone?” I whispered, looking up, with wide, frantic eyes, at the forest just beyond the window. I knew exactly where they would have went. I’m not stupid. I noted numbly, the storm clouds, grey and full, ready to attack with pellets of fat raindrops, ice, or snow. I already knew where they went, I just didn’t want to accept it.
“You know as well as I do where they would go,” he commented, turning to look north-east, out of sight, but in the direction, was the Capitol.
“Are we sure?” It was hollow, a beg for something else to be true. But of course, no one could say for certain where the missing rebels went. But intuition, plus their goals, could tell us exactly where they went.
“No,” Ari decided to answer anyways, his voice sounded hoarse, stress wasn’t good for him, not in his condition, but still. “No, we don’t know for sure. But we do know where they went, and if we want to make sure they live, we need to find them.”
I nodded, before something just outside, at the clearing of the trees, caught my eyes. It was horrifying, and I felt by breath shutter for a moment. Blood was leaking around a body, one that was still and unmoving.
Outside, laying along the banks of snow in the tree line, was a person. It was one of the missing rebels, hunted down, it seemed, like prey. I noticed from the brunette hair that it was Macaria.
I didn’t think much more than that, dragging Everest behind me as I took off down the stairs, bolting out the door. I could tell he was confused, I saw it from the corner of my eye. But suddenly, he spotted Macaria, and his eyes bugged out as he also gasped.
“What happened to her?” He yelled out, running up and hold up his long time peer. He knew her longer than any of us. Even if they weren’t friends, they had known each other since they were children. Trained and fought together.
I scanned the area frantically for any ideas, “The Capitol, it had to be, they must have had a patrol out,” I felt tears building, I didn’t see her breathing-
“She has a pulse, the Capitol would have been sure she was dead, I’m sure-“ he sounded so confused, shaking her in futile effort to find any wounds.
Nothing major was there, no bullet, a few cuts, it seemed, from a fight. But there was blood. Too much to justify be minor. Then I noticed it, sucking in a breath, as I spotted some piece of bloody technology thrown a bit from her body.
I don’t know how I connected the dots, because I looked back at her body, spotting the blood on her wrist, and I froze.
“Everest, her wrist-“ I started.
He noticed it too, his visage changed from confused, to understanding like a whip. Despite my better interest, I picked up the small device, holding it up.
“That’s a tracker. But if she had one, that means that-“ He started, but I finished.
“It means Diana lied.”
I was floored, I could barely breath.
I looked around, because still, that was too much blood. Everest had picked up Macaria’s body, and I found myself wincing in sympathy. The wound wasn’t too deep, but I know something happened beyond that. Someone lost a lot of blood....
“If Macaria’s here, where’s Holly?” Everest questioned, cradling Macaria almost like an overgrown child, as he peered at me over her unconscious body.
I noticed droplets of blood, making a small trail, and followed it for a few feet, ignoring his question. It was only a few steps, really, and then I noticed a stray piece of tech on the ground, where the trail ended. Another tracker.
I glanced up in the direction the trail took, and felt sick to my stomach all at once. All the lies, all the pain.
“She did that to Macaria,” I commented, shuddering for a moment more, “Diana lied, and somehow Holly knew, and now Holly’s going to the Capitol.”
Everest glanced at me, like a doe in headlights, before tipping his head, “Why? Why would Diana-Why would Holly?”
“Because of Burton. Holly left because if they lied about the trackers, Louden knows Catullus is a lie, and Holly would do anything to protect him. She’s going to be too late-she-she-“
Everest stooped towards the ground, huffing out, “She’s going to get them both killed, she almost killed Macaria-we have to let her go.” He commented, I could see the unfiltered anger in his eyes.
“Wait, no, Everest I feel like if that was me you would do anything for me, Holly’s in love we can’t just-!” I knew it was futile, because he was right. This happened too long ago, the blood was drying, Macaria was bleeding out, Holly would already be long gone be now. And even if not...she attacked Macaria, she somehow knew about the trackers....
“It doesn’t matter. If she doesn’t bleed out, she’ll be killed by Louden. Let’s just save who we can.” He commented, and I could hear the unshed tears just by the sound of his voice.
One thing was for certain.
Diana and Alistair were going to pay.
—
Dear Rebel Scum of the Earth,
How do I saw this without sounding like an ignorant pisshole?
I’ve made some stupid decisions, you know? I’m kind of an idiot. I always have been, that’s what Zinnia said. “You’re so silly,” she would tell me, joking and teasing, and being my best friend in the world, “But at least your not like me.”
I hated when she got like that. So self deprecating, she blamed herself for a lot. She just wanted a family, to be happy, a smiling girl. She must have had the baby, right? What did she name it?
I’m sure she, like everyone, hates me. I don’t expect fools like you to understand. I just want you to watch and protect her.
I can’t do this anymore.
I can’t.
He said he wouldn’t attack, but he did. I hope she’s alive. She and her baby, I think the baby is a girl. Call it my aunt hunch.
I wish I could have met her.
This sounds so pitiful. I’m not sorry, because you would have done everything I did. Probably. Probably not Macaria or Holly or Alessandro, they all were strictly independent. Macaria, maybe, early on. But those of you who loved know what I mean.
I’m sorry that people died because of it. I never got to know you. Maybe you all did change. Maybe you weren’t jut scared children. Alessandro didn’t look scared.
Halina seemed like a nice kid, but you have to know...Louden knows about the trackers. He knows everything, and maybe he tortured you before, but he’s got a plan. He won’t tell me it. He promised me vengeance, but this isn’t fun.
Please, if my sister is alive, protect her.
I noticed some tear stains on the letter, the words becoming sloppy, as the pen shook in my hands, sighing, I forced myself to drop it, sucking in a calming breath.
I was the villain, here I was, crying about it like a baby. I remember being a child, liking the story of fairytales, always finding people to be vile and mean. But people are pushed to it.
I glance at the records before me. Hollister Alandria, Macaria Slayte, Burton Acton. Things I never should have known. But I got them, Louden wanted me to use it against them.
At first, that’s what I wanted to do. To find the story of the villains, to show them that people just go to hurt. I didn’t want to be hurt again. So I did what I had to do. For Zinnia, for my niece, for myself.
Hollister Styx Alanadria, She was the first. I found out things she never told anyone, maybe things she never knew. When her adopted mother miscarried, the sister of Lancaster, Holly’s father, died in issues following the birth of Holly. After, she was taken in by the Alandria’s as their own, but I suspect this is why the father eventually left, seeing Holly as a curse. I doubt she knows, I’d be willing to bet she doesn’t. Her mom died, lynched in public over a scandal of rebellion that related to Holly’s real mother. Her father left, and moved on, he had three kids. Her middle name was Styx, which was contradictory to her personality, because Holly never gave anything for anyone, and in the myth, the goddess was one who tended to give towards others, to make them invulnerable. Tales had it many drowned in the river. Some tales labeled it as the location of the 5th circle of hell. The name comes to mean dark and murky, and in that way, I guess, it fit her.
Alessandro Rune, his story is one many knew. Mother was a victor, his mother, despite her best attempts to lead him away from the games, only inspired her son to participate in them. He wanted to prove himself. He wanted to show he was more. He wanted to prove his father wrong for leaving his mom. He died the death that was meant for Holly,, but Louden thought it would make a message to Macaria, and too the ebony haired girl. He said Holly would see it, and know she was meant to die that day. She would know it was her fate, and he had to pay for it.
Burton Acton, despite his playful demeanor, was a boy who worked hard just to continuously fail. His name was in tesserae so many times, I’m surprised he wasn’t picked sooner. He had a deep love of his two sisters, and he worked hard to protect them, like I worked to protect my older sister. Everyone saw him as a teasing, charming boy, but down below, he sacrificed everything to give his family a fighting chance. He worked harder than any of them, multiple jobs, less sleep, just to have a chance. It was moving to an extent, how much someone could do in such a selfless way. Everyone saw him as a joke, including Holly. I felt bad for him, because compared to many of them, what had he really done wrong?
Ari and Halina and Amadrya had pasts that I knew to some extent, or felt horrible looking into. Halina seemed to a genuinely sweet girl now, and she couldn’t even carry through with a murder plot. Ari...for obvious reasons, I left his past alone. Amadrya was Ari’s best friend, but I knew of her past too. She volunteered for a young girl, Aspen Kaine. Her parents died, and she lived with her uncle and three cousins.
Like Amadrya, I leave Everest alone. Nothing much stood out in the records, the academy, his victor parents, but not much else.
But the academy hid it’s little secrets in the form of one monster. And when I found out about her, I felt broken too. It’s the kind of story that just kind of snaps you back into reality. Sure, no one lived a good life. Holly was raised like some curse, Amadrya’s parents died, Burton worked his tail end off just to get stuck in this pile of crap, and Alessandro grew up without a father. But Macaria’s story was tragic, and dark, and cold. To an extent, it justified her. The airhead flirt, who seemed so dull and shallow, had the biggest load of secrets out of them all.
She was born Carena Lethe Harlow. When she was young, her mother and eleven-year-old sister Lucasta became ill with a plague that struck their part of District 2. In regards to the father, I don’t know much, not even the records explored everything. After escaping from the area, with the held up her dying sister, Macaria fled homeless into the streets of District 2. She was taken in by The Academy, and slowly her kind heart was ripped away but cruelty. She became a machine, falling into propaganda simply so she could survive and not put her sister’s sacrifice to waste. It was here that her identity was stolen, she became Macaria Slayte, a flirty, deadly machine. Lethe was the river of oblivion, and Macaria became oblivious to her past. To add icing onto the cake, the one boy she allowed to snag her heart, the person who got her to change, was handpicked by Louden to tear her to shreds. Out of them all, Louden feared her the most. Holly had a mouth on her, but Macaria had a passion and undying loyalty now. Macaria was the perfect person to tear Louden down, because of everything he subjected her to, and everything she overcame. He chose Alessandro for that purpose.
Back then, I thought it was funny, didn’t know the past, didn’t know a thing, I saw them all as dirty little scoundrels who just turned a blind eyes at who they hurt until they were hunted. But they were changing.
And I couldn’t stay here anymore. Louden was going to kill his own people, he broke his promise. I knew about the trackers, I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t.
I fold the note up, picking up the records, and taking a match. They might not be the only copy, but the past shouldn’t be a weapon. Maybe it’s just better to forget.
And I leave the records burning, watching as the flame devours the paper, burns the ink into ash, and as the ashes fall, I find myself smile just a bit. Because they could do it, they could win. I knew they could.
And then I ran, faster than I ever had before.
—
Macaria is safe, that much I hope for. With hers, the cut was clean, the knife didn’t slip in my fear of what I was doing to her, the vein was intact, the tracker out.
My own was another story. Self inflicted wounds were not something I had ever turned to through all my hollow bitterness. Sure, I got hurt, but never had it been purposely at my own hand. I had slipped when trying to cut mine out, screaming out from the pain.
I didn’t mean to, I really didn’t, but it seems I hit the vein, and it bled. Vigorously. I almost turned back, seeking medical attention. But Burton didn’t have time to waste.
I had to protect him, I had to warn him. Louden maybe knew, but I had to try. Amadrya was able to free Everest by her deals, if I offer my life, maybe I can save his.
I’m a fool, I’m a fool in love and who can blame me?
I’m sick with myself, a makeshift bandage is covering my wrist, it’s been hours, the bleeding has slowed, but I can’t go on like this much longer. If I don’t bleed out, it’ll get infected. If it gets infected, it’ll be a much worse end later on.
Something inside me reminds me that it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve almost met my end by the loss of blood from wounds. But I ignore it, pressing forward. Getting into the Capitol is easy. People are in panic, rumors of attacks reaching the city, and no one gives a second look to a girl covered in a dark green hood and shawl. The white shirt I had earlier is tattered, ripped and is bandaging my wrist, in place of it, I found a abandoned building, a warehouse of sorts. Clothing decked in the halls, so I took a scarf, and some other such to hide myself for the time being.
By the time I reach the outskirts of Louden’s hall, I find myself face to face with a girl with red hair and angry, narrowed eyes.
I couldn’t help my hiss, “Robin,” I commented, already reaching for my knife, but her face just bares a look of amusement.
“You thought you could keep a secret?” She commented, and it’s almost like she’s testing me. Maybe she did know about the note, or the trackers, and that’s all I can think of. But I take a good look at her, and her smirks gone, and I can see bruises and I almost feel bad. Because not only did I hurt Alessandro and Halina with my lies, there’s a good chance that Robin’s become a monster because of me.
The voice was foreign, but so, so familiar, and an overwhelming guilt hit like bricks. She sounded like she did in the arena.
“I didn’t know!” I find myself defending my actions, letting of a deep sigh, despite my words, my voice isn’t anything more than a hollow, tired sound, “I didn’t know what it meant, I’m sorry!” It almost sounds rehearsed, but there’s a sarcastic venom in my apology. Because I don’t really mean it, why would I?
“It’s your fault that they ever ended up here.” Robin trilled, and looking up, I could see the red hair. Robin, this was Robin, this wasn’t some helpless kid in the arena who was scared and acting in self defense, this was a brat who was willingly working with Louden. “It could have just been you, or maybe...maybe you could have told them about it, saved me...but you didn’t, and look where we are.” And here she is. Complaining to me about the stupid note. This was what I expected from everyone else. But instead, she’s calm, angry and sad.
“I said I didn’t know!” I scream back, standing up, because I refuse to take credit for anything Robin’s chosen to do. “I didn’t know what it meant and I’m so sorry.” It was dry, a false apology, because now teeming anger was filling my veins, “I’m so sorry that your a coward and could never stand up for yourself or take a chance to kill Louden. I’m soooo sorry that you couldn’t rely on others to save you, man, I just wonder who else has dealt with that!” Her face was contorting into anger, slowly, she was stubborn, Robin was, but I had much to say to the stupid brat. So I placed her hand on her chest in exaggerated manner, “Literally all of us! We tried to kill each other, Robin, in that Arena! So don’t blame me for your issues! Because the decisions you made? That’s on you!”
Robin backed up, her eyes turning to a glare, narrowed dangerously. “Excuse me?” She snapped, her hands tensing around a bow and arrow. I didn’t even know she hadn’t it with her. My mind just picked up on her presence. But she had a weapon.
“Yeah, you heard me!” A smirk was back on my face, staggering forward, despite the blood from a cut above my right eyebrow, and my split lip from the fight with Macaria, “You can’t just blame everyone else for you being a terrible person. I made my choices, they made theirs, and you made yours.”
Robin raised the bow, aiming for me, but I didn’t flinch, a smirk on my face. But Robin wasn’t having this, letting go of the arrow, though her hand twitched a little at the last moment, it didn’t hit me, it missed by mere inches. I felt my eyes widen, watching the redhead for a moment. And Robin smirked at me in response, walking forward.
“You’re gonna regret that, Alandria.” Her voice had this teasing sound, watching me as she stepped behind me, and suddenly, I heard this thump of something heavy.
I turned to glance back, noticing a peacekeeper dead on the ground, an arrow sticking through his chest. Then I wildly glanced at her.
“That’s a twist.” I comment, almost smirking at the younger girl who rolled her eyes, “It’s kind of adorable that you thought that was going to make up for your actions.”
Robin ignored me, and I couldn’t held my soft snickers.
“It’s worth a shot Though, I mean, these are some deadly-“ I start, but she glared at me, raising an arrow meant for me, and I gulp.
“Shut up.” She demands, and I frantically nod. She then fixes me with a look, and contemplation is in her eyes. Then she speaks, “Louden said he wasn’t going to bomb the base, he said we could, since the trackers were in, but he said if I complied, he wouldn’t do it. My sister’s at that base, and her baby. I’d do anything for her.”
“Even kill people?” I snort, having dealt with a lot myself, I wasn’t exactly about to pity a person who worked with the murderer of the only family I have.
“I technically didn’t kill anyone. I just was there for the cameras. Louden needed someone to turn against the rebels, he needed someone for the rebels to target instead of him.” She then shrugs, “Anything’s better then the poison-“
“Wait, what?” I question, caught off guard by the little word alone. I have no idea why, but I shiver when I hear it.
“Before it all, I was stubborn too. I hated the games, I was scared. So Louden started treating me nice, which was really unexpected, but I was kept in a cell. He said I had to stay in good condition, and after days of going without food and water, I just get this nice meal. Of course he’s a serpent, so he had the food all poisoned. Small doses, not enough to kill, but enough to make you feel like hell.”
I frowned at this, wincing, I went through torture. But I’d been through much worse emotionally. But Robin hadn’t.
“So he then finds out about the trackers, and he presents this deal to me. He says he’s going to kill my sister, and I didn’t believe him. So he showed me the base, a picture, you know? And what do you say to that? You love something...you don’t just let it die. I didn’t have any information to really give, and so, I did what I had to do to survive. Maybe it’s not right, but nothing really is in a war. I’m sorry your friends died because of it-“ she starts, but I hiss at her in reply.
“You’re not. Amadrya did the same thing as you, except we knew it and we freed her. You’re right, you technically didn’t do anything that out anyone in danger, but it doesn’t make it right. But you did what people do. I’m pissed about it, but they could have been your friends too-should have been.” I find myself breathing in deeply, before puffing it out, “Plus, you could be a valuable asset. You know the Capitol. You can show us how to take him down.”
Her eyes gain this shine, like she has a purpose, like she can finally put the past behind her. She’s still a little witch, her morals are messed up, but the very idea of any type of vengeance is amazing.
I can’t help but smile for a moment, “Plus, your sister misses you.”
I gentle push her forward, she’s about my height, despite being years younger than me. I start guiding her back out of the Capitol. Away from it all. Though I remember my goal suddenly, halting for a moment, “Burton-what about Burton?”
“He’s here?” Robin questions, eyesbrows raising comically, and I almost snort except the happiness I get from the words alone. Even Louden’s most trusted asset didn’t know. Maybe Diana did take out his tracker or something before he left! Maybe it didn’t work here?
“Oh, you’ll see him soon enough.” I hear from behind us, and I freeze. I feel my veins freeze like ice, despite the radiating pain in my right one. I turn, pushing Robin behind me as I glare at Louden.
Words cannot explain the hate I feel for him. The loathing anger boiling in my blood. I can’t do anything but stare at him, fighting off the want to lunge, and plunge my knife into his skull.
He snaps me out of my planning, “Robin, I see you found a traitor.”
I feel her freeze too, because his wording isn’t implying he found a rebel. He knows, because he was listening. He knew exactly what was going on. He was just waiting to strike.
There’s three peacekeepers behind him. I see one make eye contact with me.
And Robin’s stepping forward, smirking in their direction. They have some kind of plan, a pact.
“Yes, I seem to have found one.” She comments, before taking an arrow out of the quiver and lunging at Louden. At this time, the peacekeeper who was staring at her stepped forward, watching for a moment.
“Get off me!” Louden snapped, barely holding off the arrow, grabbing Robin’s wrist. I winced when I heard the girl struggle, he saw her attack coming, and not that arrow was falling to the ground.
It reminded me starkly of another time, when something fell within grasp. When I had the chance to act. And I smiled when I realized it. Robin was getting taken by one of the peacekeepers.
But Louden noticed me moving, once the arrow was in my hand, Louden had one peacekeeper holding Robin with a knife at her throat, and was staring at me with that stupid look on his face of glee. Like he was some winner.
A stalemate, until the one guy with a staring problem promptly took his baton, and went to strike Louden.
And I realized that maybe, this was a really horrible situation. Because one moment the guy gets a strike in on Louden, the next, the guys on the ground, a horrible crunching snap echoing as Louden dusts off his hands.
I feel tears already coming to my face, it isn’t fair, this isn’t fair. I notice him, and Robin, and everything in strange clarity.
They looked up at Louden, shaking as they watched the scene unfold before them, staggered breaths, tears in their eyes, as they stared up.
“Want that to happen to you?” He questioned as his other peacekeeper kicked the body into the nearby snowbank, causing a sickening crunch to sound.
“You...you killed-“ my next words were a jumbled mess, as I wiped my tears away. Strength, I needed strength. But the shock is strong. His own people were turning against him. And he had no qualms killing them himself.
“Stop stating the obvious,” Louden spoke, walking forward and grabbing me by the collar of my coat, lifting me slightly as he bore his eyes into mine, though I held strong to keep their fear from showing. “I won’t hesitate to do that again,”
I gulped, closing my eyes, I felt like I had lost everything now, but that didn’t matter.
“Or,” I opened my eyes, looking at him, as he graced me with a smile that had me frowning deeply, a strange feeling of sickening foreboding landing on me like a ton of bricks, “Or you can join me, and you will be fine, what do you say Holly?”
As he spoke my name, I sighed deeply. What did fighting get me anyways? A broken heart. But I couldn’t just do this. I wasn’t like Amadrya and Robin, I didn’t have anything left to lose. He harshly dropped me, and I landed on my legs, though shaking slightly. I glanced around for any chance of escape. But nothing was there.
I didn’t see anyway of getting out of this. Not without taking the bait.
I collapsed, curling into a upward ball, where my elbows circled around my knees, and my chin pressed into my palms, as my eyes scattered to the dead peacekeeper in the bank. He tried a sneaky way, and even it didn’t work. Everything was hopeless.
“That’s stupid. I’m not siding with you.” I snapped, finding myself glaring at Robin, stupid girl. Did she do this? But the look of fear and worry didn’t seem very fake to me. Even with a knife at her throat, she just looked like a pitiful mess of guilt.
“Then Robin will die.” He threatened, towering over me, though I just glanced at him, head still rested, as I snorted softly.
“And I should care? She’s just a menace, she does more harm than good. Killing her would be a favor, gives Macaria less work to do.” I see the almost hey look Robin has, though it snaps to realization. She immediately forces her features into a scowl. Which is good.
“Then I’ll kill Burton, or Catullus, whatever you prefer.” He comments, obviously a bit annoyed, as he glares down at me.
“Burton, obviously.” I snort, because I hated Catullus. Stupid Burton, stupid plan. Stupid Diana and Louden. “But whatever. He broke my heart when he left me, so what if he’s out of the way?” I know he doesn’t believe a word of it, because no conviction is in my voice. He knows about Burton. And no matter what I do, he’s going to torture him. He’s going to hurt him, and he’s going to make me watch and...
“I’ll kill them all. I’ll kill everyone in this damn city. I’ve already planned on it.”
“That’s pretty messed up.” I point out, “But it’ll feed the starving people, right? A bunch of barbecued rich people, it’ll be food for days.” I hear a peacekeeper snort, and I find myself rolling my eyes at Louden, “Plus, isn’t killing your own people...I dunno? Like the complete opposite of winning?”
He fixes me with an annoyed glare, “It’s winning if I make it look like the rebels did it.”
I outwardly laugh, “But that’s so stupid! There’s no thought whatsoever in that plan! You’re going to kill off your only supporters, people that laugh at dying kids each year, and somehow that’s going to make you look better?”
Even Robin snorts. Though Louden’s eye twitches, “I didn’t have time to plan it.”
“What have you been doing then?” I almost have tears in my eyes, “Playing house with some dolls? Practicing your tyrannical take over? A musical number?” I’m full blown snorting, “Wait, wait, I’ve got it! You’re a pathetic man whose lonely and gains happiness from killing children like a psychopath! Either that or you’ve been trying on some pretty wittle dresses, not like I’m judging-“
“Enough!” He roars, kicking me, hard, and knocking the breath out of my lungs as he turns to the peacekeepers holding up Robin.
“Make it slow, and painful.” He commands, and I immediately hear the screams. One cut down her arm, little patterns, and swirls, and it’s Macaria all over again. Louden’s laughter is like Alessandro’s grin.
“Wait!” I scream, trying to get up, though I’m kicked again, knowing something must have happened to my innermost bones or organs, especially when I cough up the blood, watching as they torture the younger girl.
“I’ll go get Burton right now, Holly! I’ll get Olivia, I’ll get everyone you ever knew!” He snaps, stepping on my injured wrist, causing me to cry out in pain.
“Leave her alone!” I snap, though I’m horrified. “Leave them all alone! If it’s me you want, you sick bastard! Then fine!” I kick out as his legs, glad to get him away from me, and scuttle up, running towards Robin, hose bleeding through many cuts, none on any vital organs, and the peacekeepers back up. I know Louden must have held up some kind of sign. I didn’t care.
“Alright now, Holly. Fine, I’ll let them live. I won’t even harm them. But you have to-“
I know he doesn’t expect me to turn on him, jabbing my finger into his chest despite my short size, as I glare at his eyes, “No, this isn’t on your terms. You don’t get to make the rules,” I snap, poking him again, though he just looks amused, “I do. And if you don’t play by my rules, then you can just kill us all then. Then you’ll have nothing to use as a barter.” I spit at him then, he flinches slightly, but he outstretched a hand all the same.
I glance back at Robin’s eyes, who are wide with dismay, “Wait, no, Holly don’t do that, he won’t uphold his end of the-“
“I’m not.” I comment, snorting as I rolled my eyes, “I’m not doing diddly shit for him. I’m not shaking his disgusting hands. I’m not bowing at him like some lapdog. He’s a grown ass man, I’m not wiping his ass for him.” I huff, before I breath out, “But I’m done licking proverbial ass for Diana and co. I’m done with dealing with hormonal teenagers who can’t admit their feelings. I’m don’t with shit in general, so here’s what’s going to happen. I’m doing to just be here, doing whatever the hell I want, and you’re going to let me do whatever the hell I want and leave me the hell alone.”
And Louden had the audacity to look impressed. Impressed and amused, like he was just wondering how I had the backs to think I got any say in anything when he was holding the strings.
“You’re in no place to make any calls, but I’m not too terribly upset, I didn’t expect much more of you. All that you have to do I say make one appearance, an interview with Catullus, and I won’t hurt them.” I almost wince at the very idea, I know he has something up his sleeves. But it buys us time.
I know I’m getting a black eye, and blood is dribbling down my chin and wrist. But I slap his hand away from mine, simply looking at Robin, then him with a dirty glare. I utter words I hate. But I’m sick and tired of it all. If this is what it takes, then I’ll suck it up.
“Let’s make a deal.”
(Alternate title: Proverbial Ass. Or you know. “Shit I Don Goofed”) |
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Mar 28, 2020 3:14:20 GMT -5
That was amazing I loved it omg!)
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Mar 28, 2020 4:47:41 GMT -5
”District 8?”
I thought I’d seen Holly out here, and then when she turned to me with that deadpan look I knew instantly that it was her. And also that she’d take this as an opportunity for sass or sarcasm because Holly rarely responded seriously to anything I said to her.
“I have a name,” she pointed out “but yes?”
And she tilted her head, looking at me as I stepped closer with those intelligent green eyes. It always gives me a strange feeling when she looked at me like that. Her eyes always brought back the memory of when I almost killed her in the Arena.
“What’s your purpose in following me?” she questioned
I rolled my eyes, because it was bold of Holly to assume that I was out here just to follow her.
“Funny, Alandria,” I smirked “I don’t follow anyone but myself. But I have a feeling our goals are similar.”
“And what goals would those be?”
Holly had her hands clasped behind her back, which I noticed of course. But if I asked her, that wasn’t going to help anything, that never worked with Holly. So instead I took note of it and just answered her question.
A vicious smile spread across my face, and a murderous glint appeared in my eyes.
“Bring down Louden,” I responded
The way Holly reacted to my expression, the way she jumped back, I knew she remembered that look from the Arena. The look I had when I was in the thrill of the hunt. I knew I’d scared her, so I tried to back-pedal, softening a little.
“Look, it’s not the same as then. This isn’t about me winning anymore. He took Arlo away, he took Halina away, he has to-“
And that’s when something changed in Holly’s expression that I couldn’t quite read. Then she stepped closer to me, glaring up at me.
“He’s not the only reason they died, Macaria.”
“But he’s the main reason,” I insisted “I know you want revenge too. For what he did to you. To us. He forced your hand-“
And that brought out some kind of reaction in Holly, because she interrupted me.
“He didn’t force me to do anything! No one can control me. I’m not exactly some robot, who just follows some code. The choices I made were my own, and contrary to popular belief, I don’t regret all of them. Just, just one.”
Holly’s expression had started off with her usual, familiar teasing look, but then it had changed to something else. Something I still couldn’t quite put my finger on. I was normally good at reading people, you kind of need to be if you want to be manipulative, but for some reason I couldn’t with Holly. I could tell she was hiding something, but I didn’t know what.
I’m also not stupid, so I caught on to Holly’s phrasing instantly. So I took a step closer and, surprising myself, put a hand on Holly’s shoulder.
“And what’s that?” I asked
Holly started to speak, but could not meet my eyes. That was something I always found a little annoying, it was so much harder to know what a person was really thinking if they wouldn’t look at you.
“If it wasn’t for me, Alessandro and Halina would still be here. Maybe I wouldn’t be. But Burton wouldn’t be in trouble. Everest and Amadrya never would have been tortured. Ari wouldn’t be on his deathbed and you would actually be happy.” she said
And then, cracking a smile, she added “I’m almost as big as a screw up as you were,”
I was shocked to hear that she blamed herself for all of this. For the deaths of Alessandro and Halina, for what happened to Everest and Amadrya. For Burton being in trouble, which confused me. What trouble was Burton in? As far as I knew, yes, he was in a dangerous situation, but he wasn’t in trouble. He was just doing his mission gathering intel in the Capitol. I locked that unusual phrasing in my memory.
I didn’t know how to feel. Angry that Holly thought there was a way all the stuff she mentioned could have been avoided. Angry because she seemed to think this was all her fault when it was clearly the Capitol’s. It seemed like anger was the way to go either way.
“What?” I questioned, my voice sharp and shaping the question like a threat
“I had a note, Macaria, Diana wanted me to be the only one caught. But I was tired of being prey for selfish cowards, I was tired of being targeted when I didn’t do anything wrong. Freedom costs a price, make sure your the only one who has to pay it, is what it said, but I was tired of being pushed around and sacrificed for the sick game of others.”
It took a moment for me to process this information, my face softening to understanding, and then narrowing. And then sadness. Because I pitied Holly, I did. She was the one always expected to take on the worst of everything because she was just expected to be able to deal with it. The girl who had gone through so much that people didn’t think more misfortune could break her. She was the girl who people seemed to use. I knew what it felt like to be used.
I understood her more than I ever had in that moment. Passed around like a curse. Alone, like me.
“So if you would have just made sure it was only you?”
Holly sighed, sounding guilty “Alessandro would still be alive. I would have likely been killed publically, had it only been one, and a rebellion strong on the way. This never would have happened.”
That’s when I slapped her, hardly even realising what I’d done
“What was that for?” Holly asked, raising a hand to her cheek
A bit of a stupid question, but I’d answer it anyway.
“Payback.”
“That’s it!?” Holly asked incredulously
I shot her a dark glare. She was really blaming herself for Alessandro’s death?
“Louden’s still to blame. I did the same thing in the arena. But-“
“Did you not hear me? I killed him! I killed them!” Holly yelled
I was doing my best not to react too much. This seemed less about me and more about things Holly needed to get off her chest. Or an attempt to drive me away, which I wasn’t going to rise to.
But I couldn’t bear to hear her saying that. Every time she said his name, every time she said she’d killed him, it was like a knife to the chest. So painful I couldn’t breathe.
So I met her eyes, genuinely.
“Holly, don’t say that again, I-“
“I killed him!” she shouted
She was still not shutting up, she wasn’t shutting up. She wouldn’t let it go.
“Please, it’s not your fault-“
I could feel the tears pricking my eyes now, which I hated. I could cry but I didn’t want to do it in front of Holly. Never in front of her. She never showed her vulnerability in front of me, and for me to do so in front of her would put her at an advantage that I didn’t like.
God, I was so manipulative I had to calculate who was in control of every single conversation. Even my friends. The academy had really made a mess out of me.
“It’s all my fault, without me-!”
I was looking at her, I was begging her with my expression to just stop. It was hurting me, I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. I needed her to just not talk anymore. To just let this go and let me be. But she started to laugh, and I sent a glare her way.
“You couldn’t have known!” I insisted
But then she smiled a triumphant smile, and said some words that felt like she had shattered me. Broken me into a million pieces.
“He wouldn’t have died! But you know what? It’s what you get for hunting people!”
I was filled with so much anger then, I just grabbed her wrist and start walking, pulling her behind me. She wanted me to be angry? Now I was angry
“I told you to shut up,” I snarled as we walked
But then she pushed herself away from me, surprising me a little.
“Well I don’t listen to you!” she snapped “I don’t know how you think I just forgot what you guys did to me, but I didn’t!”
That’s when she raised her hand from behind her back, revealing what she’d been hiding all this time.
“So, who are you, Macaria?” Holly questioned, waving the knife, “Are you just someone who kills to do it? For revenge? Vendetta? You need to stay here, I’m not giving you a choice.”
Oh, I’d had far too many choices taken away from me in my life and this was not going to be one of them.
“Well, I’m sorry. But we’re going. I’m going, I don’t care what you choose. I’m nothing with Halina and Alessandro, I don’t have a future, Holly. Everyone else does. You and I are just excuses now. Forgotten. At least I can make sure they didn’t die in vain.”
I didn’t care about the knife, genuinely I didn’t. She couldn’t scare me with that. The tears in my eyes then weren’t of sadness and hurt, they were hot and angry. What did I have left, really? An identity that wasn’t mine, a future filled with only guilt and pain. A world where I would have to watch Amadrya and Everest every day and know I could have had that. And feeling guilty for resenting them for being happy and having love when I couldn’t have it. A world wondering if I’d really changed. A world wondering whether I deserved to be alive. No, that wasn’t what I wanted.
“They’ll have died in vain if you just leave!” Holly huffed “Are you stupid or what? Maybe you hit your head last mission, but unless you go back, this whole crap fest has been a waste of time! You can’t just go buzzing around like a queen bee waiting to just sting into someone with no real purpose in mind, like ‘look at me, I’m dying for no reason’!”
The impression of my voice grated on me, and I let out an angry groan.
“Just shut up, my freaking ears can’t take any more of this BS, Hol, just shut the everliving hell up.” I snapped
She stared at me, snorted, and responded “Yeah, the day I die.”
Before she promptly fell silent.
“That’s horribly ironic that you just shut the hell up after saying you would do it the day you die,” I pointed out, my eyebrow raised
She didn’t have a response to that, just a nervous laugh, so I held out a hand to her, seeing a chance to resolve this once and for all.
“Come on, Alandria,” I suggested “let’s make him pay.”
I saw something like desperation cross Holly’s face. She met my eyes, gulped, and then came out with it.
“Diana kept the trackers in!”
I was stunned, so shocked I was almost physically startled. I’d always assumed I could trust Alistair and Diana, which in hindsight was stupid. But still, I’d taken it for granted that they wouldn’t lie to us. But everyone lied. I lied. Even my name was a lie.
“What?” I asked, in shock, eyes wide
But then the anger hit, and my expression shifted as I looked at Holly.
“How long have you known? Why would she lie to us? Is that-?”
I was trying to process this information, to try and make sense of it all. But Holly spoke up before I could.
“That’s how they found us and killed Halina. I’ve known all along. I’ve known, and I never told you.”
I couldn’t tell whether or not she was lying, but I was too angry to care. It was the way she was grinning, like she was proud. It made my blood boil.
So I lunged for her. She sidestepped, but she wasn’t the only one who had been carrying a weapon. I drew my knife and attacked again, opening up a wound down her side. But while I was fast, Holly was faster than me. She was able to get behind me before I could react, and moments later I felt a pain at the back of my head and everything went black as I dropped to the ground.
I was sure, as I lost consciousness, that I heard a familiar voice. A voice I hadn’t heard since I was six years old. It was my mother. It was a distant sound, but it was there.
“Carena!”
It sounded cheerful, like I’d been playing and she was calling me back inside the house. It had been a long time since I’d heard her voice, so long that I’d almost forgotten that name. Carena.
They’d changed it at the academy when they took me in. Made me sign some forms with the Capitol seal on them, even though my six year old self could barely even write my name. Forms that said that I was formally a ward of the academy and, by extension, of the Capitol. Though of course I was still a citizen of District 2, so not exempt from the Games. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d planned my participation in this year’s Games, too. Perhaps as a way to get rid of me when I became old enough to really pose a threat. Or perhaps they had wanted me to win, to shape me into a victor so they could keep a closer eye on me and have me even more under their control. Use me for their politics and propaganda, finally take control of the asset they had been shaping so many years.
And they changed my name; I was so young it wasn’t hard for them to teach me to respond to my new name, until Macaria was all I knew and Carena was a distant memory.
The Capitol feared me, I suppose. Someone who’d lost everything to them, but who was in a career district too. That was rare, and possibly just the combination needed to take them down. I was a wildcard, even at six the Capitol knew that to stop me becoming a serious danger my life and my future had to be carefully controlled. So that I never blamed the Capitol for the deaths of my family, but instead grew up to serve and revere it.
And Louden and the Capitol did what they always thought one should do when they were scared of something.
Own it.
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Post by 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 on Mar 28, 2020 11:40:33 GMT -5
(I’m actually really proud of that interaction, because I love Macaria.
I hope she finds happiness, like my goodness, I hate torturing her like this, she’s been through enough already.)
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Mar 28, 2020 11:42:11 GMT -5
(I love that interaction too, you did an amazing job with it. You wrote Macaria so well!
Honestly I hope she does too, and in a perfect world she would. She’s definitely been through a lot.)
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Post by Sparky on Mar 28, 2020 12:41:02 GMT -5
The station is a fifteen minute humvee ride from the Justice Building. They’re a strange vehicle, really, and their militaristic, stocky build is the preferred method of transportation throughout the districts by Capitol folk. The one I ride in has been converted slightly, with an open top and sleeker design than most. I am surprised to find that Alex is riding in a separate vehicle… usually tributes will ride together to the station - which is always filled with cameras and reporters. What is there to say, really? I’ll never know.
I do know that if the Capitol keeps Alex and I separated any longer, I’ll go insane. Now more than ever I need to talk to her, but I don’t know how to begin a conversation in these circumstances anyhow.
I see the station in the near distance, and the unmistakable flashes from various cameras tells me that Alex must’ve arrived before me. When my humvee arrives, I am swarmed by a mob of reporters.
There must be some rules in place, however, because the chaos is incredibly organized. Orchestrated even. I notice that they never get within a few paces of me, and I am allowed to walk without much disturbance towards the train. Alex stands at the entrance - waiting for me to catch up.
“You good?” She asks when I’m close enough to hear her over the commotion. I nod in response, stepping up into the entrance of the train. I take a look back before the sliding doors shut and notice a screen in the distance displaying what the cameras see. Alex and I, standing only slightly apart from one another. Her face is determined, while mine is unreadable. I’m slightly shocked by the red line that crosses my cheek, though, and the blood that comes down in streaks. Good. Let them know that I don’t feel the pain.
We’re sealed away from the crowd, and the train kicks into gear, moving smoothly and quickly towards the Capitol.
Away from Ten.
Alex and I lock gazes, and her warm eyes remind me of just how much I hate her. The pact I made under the willow did not include her, but she must’ve made a similar pact to herself. A silent one, though. One that she didn’t dare to voice to me, probably out of fear that my pact would’ve been compromised somehow. Which is bullshit.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I blurt out, slicing the silence between us with my words.
“Because I didn’t know,” She says. Her tone is harsh, matching my own. “And I couldn’t even afford to think that it would need to happen.”
“Calum is alone! Did you think about that? He needs you home. Alive.” My voice has risen to a shout. This is what it’s like when the cameras are gone.
“Calum has his mother. Calum has Theo. Calum is alive.”
“Calum could’ve had you too!”
“And then what? We watch you die on live television together? What kind of shit fate is that?”
“You don’t know how the Games would’ve gone,” I say, but that’s just my stubbornness kicking in. She does know. I know. Some career would’ve ripped my throat out.
“I would’ve lost you!” Alex screams, shoving me backwards. “I can’t even believe you right now.”
“Oh, what, did you think I’d be happy or some shit? Happy that I’ve got to go into these Games with a friend?”
“I thought you would understand.”
“You don’t understand! We’re supposed to kill each other!” The fight has escalated to the point where I know we’ve drawn attention, but neither of us are backing off either. Something I just said must’ve lit a fire in Alex, because she’s getting ready to shove me again when our escort plops herself between us.
“Children, children, please!” She says, exasperated. Her perfume alone is enough to actually make me take a step back from Alex. Cherry, but highly synthetic, and strong enough to the point of disgust. Alex takes a step away as well, and by the look on her face I can tell that she is thinking the same thing.
And just like that, with a quick glance and an ‘I know exactly why you’re grinning’ look, we begin to laugh. This just confuses our escort, who is now asking what it is, what is going on. She’s determined, and that makes us laugh even harder. Finally she holds her hands up in surrender, “I’ve no idea in the slightest what has gotten into you two, but I’m here to tell you that no violence is allowed at any point before the Games!” She eyes Alex, then begins to walk back towards the dining tables, which I notice are brimming with rich foods. “The Capitol will have to separate you two from one another if you can’t follow certain procedures.”
Alex and I exchange a glance. Neither of us wants that, but we do need to distance ourselves at least temporarily.
“We’re not finished here,” Alex says before sauntering off. Mechanical doors slide open and close for her as she exits into a car farther behind.
“My, my, my,” our escort says, sighing through each word. I haven’t ever paid enough attention during Reapings to know her name, even though she has announced it every year for the past three that she has spent in District Ten. “I’ve never had a more badly behaved pair of tributes.”
I wonder if she understands how deeply unfazed I am by that statement.
“Tributes don’t usually go into the Games having known each other well,” I answer. Her eyes meet mine, and I can tell that she’s perked up, as if she is surprised that I bothered to talk to her at all.
“Come here, boy, I’ve got something for that cut.”
I’m surprised by her words. By the gesture in general. This is the person who is very literally escorting me to the Capitol, a place that will spell my death in the highest resolution possible. She waves her hand impatiently, and I make my way over.
In no time at all, she’s cleaned away the dried blood and is applying some sort of antiseptic to it. At first I thought she would be disgusted by it, but I remember that this person is a Capitollite. Someone who watches children get slaughtered on live television annually.
Now she’s applying an assortment of small plastic clips along the cut, and I wince.
“Oh, hush,” She says, continuing with the same vigor.
“How did you learn how to do this?” I ask, slightly shocked at her less camera-like persona.
“This? This is nothing. But I am a registered nurse, back at the Capitol.” Maybe I shouldn’t be shocked this time, or maybe I have just perceived her wrongly.
“So, why are you doing this?”
“This?”
“Why are you Ten’s escort, I mean.” She seems a bit taken aback by the words. Did I hit a nerve? She lets out a huff before closing the last clip on the cut - the one closest to my mouth.
“Opportunities arose!” She says fanatically, clasping her hands together and observing her work.
- - -
I’ve approached Alex’s door several times now, but have never built up the courage to knock. I want to tell her things, want to forget about what has happened. But what is there to tell? And besides, there’s no doubt that anything I have to say is safe from the prying ears of the Capitol.
I can’t take a shower for another couple hours because of the clippings, but I’ve done my best to clean up before dinner. I raise my hand to knock on Alex’s door, but find myself freezing up yet again.
Just then the door opens, and she’s standing there, surprised to see me about to knock. Her brown hair flows down in waves well below her shoulders, and a small part of it is braided, covering her right eye slightly. I can tell she’s just showered - a luxury that I haven’t been able to take yet - and she’s wearing something new that must’ve been laid out for her. Blue jeans and a white shirt, very casual.
“Alex, I just wanted to-”
She springs at me, and I’m surprised to find myself wrapped in her arms.
“Don’t say anything,” She says, and I simply resort to accepting the embrace. After pulling away Alex notices the work that has been done on my face.
“Our escort did it, isn’t that weird?”
“She did good. Hopefully it doesn’t scar.” There’s a hint of worry in her voice.
“Probably won’t. The Capitol will make sure of that during our stay.”
“That’s fair.”
We’ve been standing at her doorway for a while now, and I can feel a sort of awkward tension filling the air.
“Dinner?”
“Dinner.”
- - -
“Well now, all made up then?” Our escort asks upon our arrival. The hostility between Alex and I has all but vanished. For now. Friendship acts in strange ways like that.
During dinner, Alex and I don’t talk much. Partly because we’re busy engulfing food - neither of us have ever had enough to eat - and partly because there’s much to know. We do get quite a kick out of the fact that our escort’s name is Cherry Iris, and I’m relieved when she tells us that Iris or Dr. Iris most preferable. She’s quite frank, really, and I’m wondering for a moment if I’ve wrongly stereotyped her as just another Capitollite.
Dr. Iris turns on a screen that plays snapshots of each Reaping from the twelve districts. Our competitors. We’ll be seeing each of them over the next few weeks in the Capitol, but the real fun begins when the Games commence. There hasn’t been a mentor for Ten in several years, so we’ve got a few choices- train independently with Capitol instructors or to be taken in by the pair of mentors from District Twelve.
Alex is wary, but I’m remembering the words that Calum spoke to me hours before. We’ve got allies, and I’ve got a gut feeling that this just might pertain to those words.
“We’ll take the mentors,” I decide.
“Not necessarily,” Alex says, eyeing me. “How are things going to work out with the kids from Twelve?”
“We’ll have to see,” I say, “But those mentors are crucial. We need people who have actually been through the Games.” I don’t believe the words as I’m speaking them, but I’m clinging to the hope that what Calum said was right.
The light in the train fades, and by the looks of it we’re traveling through a tunnel.
“You know what that means,” Iris says.
I have no idea what that means, but in a few seconds there’s a brilliant flash of light and the Capitol dawns upon us. The sunset has all but melted behind the Rockies, casting a shadow over most of the city, which is glistening with lights all across the spectrum.
“Damn,” Alex manages, and I can’t help but laugh. Not even at her words, but the view itself. The situation we’ve gotten ourselves into. The fact that the Capitol lives in complete splendor, sucking it’s resources out of each district without remorse. Then, of course, hosting the Hunger Games. To remind them of their place in the cycle.
“We need to get those off you before we reach the station,” Iris says, and I comply. She hasn’t gained my full trust, but appearing in front of cameras is her area of expertise.
I wonder what the people of Panem are thinking of Alex and me, the two volunteers from District Ten. What were they thinking when I stood up to the peacekeepers, took the blows for Calum’s mother? For decades Ten has been overlooked, especially over the past few years since our last victor took his own life.
Some gear has kicked into place, though, lining up things differently than before. I don’t know how, but it seems that this year’s Hunger Games will be unlike most.
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Post by Sparky on Mar 28, 2020 12:41:55 GMT -5
[ geographically the sunset is actually supposed to be behind the buildings of the Capitol b/c Panem is just west of the rockies, but i didn't bother changing it xD ]]
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Mar 28, 2020 12:59:20 GMT -5
I loved it!)
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Mar 29, 2020 13:16:45 GMT -5
I’m fifteen years old, and my younger sister Lea turns thirteen in about a month and Twylla only just turned eleven. It’s the day before Lea’s first reaping, and I get home from work to hear crying from the bedroom my sisters share. I knock on the door, and when I hear a mumbled phrase that sounds like ‘come in’, I enter to see my younger sister sitting on her bed, knees drawn up to her chest as she cries.
This surprises me a little, I’ve very rarely seen Lea like this. She’s adventurous, confident, always has been. She is a big risk-taker and rushes into things way faster than she probably should. She doesn’t seem to let things faze her, which is a quality of hers that I love. So this is very unlike her. But then, the Games do bring out those things in people and I forget that she’s still only twelve.
“Hey,” I say softly, taking a seat beside her “you’re okay,”
There’s no point wasting breath asking pointless questions about what it’s about. I know what it’s about, and she knows I know what it’s about. It’s just dumb to pretend otherwise.
“I’m scared, Burton,” she admits “I’m one of the youngest in my class, almost everybody else has already done a reaping. I just feel really alone.”
I give a sad smile, moving closer to my younger sister as I put my arm around her shoulders.
“Listen, let me tell you a secret,” I say “all the other kids in your class are just as scared as you are about tomorrow. I’m still as scared as I was when I had my first reaping; it doesn’t get easier.”
Lea just sniffles, looks away for a moment and lets out a sigh.
“But what if I get picked?” she asks, suddenly sounding very small
“You won’t,” I assure her firmly “I promise.”
Lea just looks slightly confused, raising an eyebrow.
“You can’t promise that,” she points out
“Are you doubting my power?” I ask very seriously, making sure to sound indignant at the very suggestion I did not hold fate in the palm of my hands
That makes Lea give a small smile, a genuine smile, which is good. So I decide to press further and try to reassure her.
“Your name is only in once, sis,” I remind her “you won’t be picked.”
Lea nods, but then looks at me, her expression almost suspicious.
“How many times is your name in?” she asks
I don’t answer for a moment, but Lea gives me a pointed look and nudges me, forcing me to give her an answer.
“Thirty,” I say
“Burton,” Lea says, and the sadness in her voice breaks me “that’s so many. Aren’t you scared?”
“Of course.” I say “but the tesserae is what keeps us above the breadline.”
We have what looks like a pretty good life, enough food on the table, decent clothes. But that’s only with me and my parents combining our wages, and with the tesserae added in. Without it, we would be at risk. Totally dependent on the factory and our ability to work. If one of us lost our jobs or we had a lean month we’d starve. The tesserae keeps our heads above water, just enough so we don’t drown. I can only take it for a few years longer but it’s enough to get us through until Lea finishes school and gets a job, bringing in her own wages.
“Let me take some tesserae next year,” Lea says “we can split the burden.”
“No!” I say, my voice firm enough to make Lea stiffen a little
There’s a moment of tense silence before I continue.
“The tesserae are cumulative, so I’ll still be in a ton of times anyway. I’m not letting you take on any more risk than you need to.”
A shadow of frustration passes over Lea’s face, but after a few moments she seems to accept what I’m saying, simply giving a little huff and leaning back into me. She must realise she’s only twelve, she is still a child really. She has no idea the risk she’d be taking on with tesserae. I made that decision when I was twelve because I had to, because there wasn’t another way. I had to grow up far too fast for my siblings. Sure, I joke around and act like a kid sometimes but I’m very familiar with the realities of life. I’m the oldest sibling, I’m the one who takes the fall. I do what I have to do to give them a shot. Because what was the point of making them miss out on life just for the sake of us all having an equal burden? As the oldest kid I was never going to get a chance at the same life my sisters have anyway. I was always going to need to get a job, bring money in. It didn’t make a difference to me.
“You’re going to get yourself killed.” Lea says
“The fact is we need the tesserae,” I say bluntly “and the way I see it, every tessera I take is one you don’t have to. Every time my name is in there is just one more time your name is not. If I take all the risk I can all but guarantee mom she keeps at least two of her kids. I’m the only boy, so if I take the risk and you don’t take any it’s unlikely we’d end up in the Games together.”
If we shared the risk there’d be more chance both myself and Lea could be picked and then mom would probably lose two children in one fell swoop. I can’t let that happen. I can’t volunteer for my sister and protect them in that way, so this is the only way I can do it.
—————
I took everything on, I always did. Call it a martyr complex, call it being a protective big brother. I don’t care. I took as much of the risk for my sisters as I can. I always have, always given and given and given.
And I’m starting to get mad at the universe that karma doesn’t seem to be on my side.
I know the world isn’t fair. I’ve grown up with that basic fact. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be angry about it. I took on jobs at the factory, I took tesserae. I risked my life for the rebels. And all I’ve done is get hurt, and hurt my family to boot. My parents must be worried sick about me, my family feeling like they’ve lost me like they did when I left for the Games. I’m seen as the guy who’s too nice and caring and innocent. Who is naive, a jokester who doesn’t understand the real world and can’t take care of himself.
I understand it, alright.
The worst thing is that I know I’ve hurt Holly. I don’t know if she’ll forgive me for leaving her to go on this mission in the Capitol. I wish I could have told her how I felt before I left. I know that it wouldn’t have been a good idea to tell her and then leave, it probably would have been selfish. But maybe I deserve one selfish act by now. Not that it matters, because I didn’t do it.
And now there’s so much information in my head, so much to process. Everything about the trackers, and then what Livia said about Louden bombing the Capitol. I’m scared, and I don’t know if I’m going to get out of this alive. But Lea taught me a lot as we grew up, what with her confidence and recklessness. She took matters into her own hands whenever she could. And I’m going to try and do the same.
If I have any control over any of this, I’m going to use it. No more giving, no more caring. Time to take. I have to be confident, assertive, decisive. I have to take control.
As the very cringy and cliche saying goes, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
If I have to put all my cards on the table and make concessions to get what I want, I will. If I have to manipulate, I will. If I have to fight, I will. Anything
But I will not sit and do nothing.
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Post by 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 on Mar 30, 2020 17:18:12 GMT -5
Intermission
“Why are you here?” Livia was questioning me, the concern evident in her eyes, her hand she on my shoulders, as if trying to shake some amount of sense into me.
“Because what choice did I have?” I snapped back, she was here to dress me, though I felt like Louden somehow thought giving me my old stylist would make me like him anymore than I did. Spoiler alert, it doesn’t. But honestly, I didn’t have a choice in this. Louden knew about the trackers, and he knows about Burton. If I refused, he’d kill him, I’m sure, or torture him.
“You could have stayed back at the base, Alandria, you played into Louden’s hands-“
“And Burton would have gotten killed!” I snapped, finally pushing her away from me. I was done pretending this was all fine. I was done with people telling me what I should have done, when they took no initiative themselves, “And what do you get to say about it anyways? You’re just ere because you don’t have the balls to fight back. You’re here cause your a coward, so you’d rather act like a crappy spy than stand up for what’s right! You don’t get to judge me!”
Maybe I was harsh, but if I had to be harsh, so be it.
She looked offended, though she schooled it quickly. Years in the Capitol must have taught her how to pretend.
“Thanks, Livia, for making my last appearance look nice, but I kindly request that you leave.”
She huffed out an angry response. I was not easy to get along with, not like Burton. I know she had her reasons for remaining, but she and I were very different. I didn’t understand her methods, and she clearly didn’t understand mine.
“You know, Holly, I hope everything works out good for you. But I fear you didn’t just put yourself into danger this time. And I’d hate to see Burton hurt because of something you did mindlessly.”
Like that, she remained, doing up the rest of my outfit, though we didn’t exchange words or any happy glances. It was after minutes that I replied.
“He won’t be hurt. Louden would have broke his deal if he is, and Louden, despite being horrible, doesn’t betray his deals.” I commented, arms crossed.
“You have nothing against him though, he has everything against you. He can do whatever he pleases.” Came her reply.
“No,” I was staring at the mirror before me, my raven locks held in a braided updo, like a crown over my head, and the regal looking blue and golden dress, she fit me in her colors, in Burton’s. We were still a team. “No, because he knows now that there are people in the Capitol who won’t follow him anymore, one wrong move, one breaking of his word, and all the dominoes fall. All it takes is the truth, and Louden loses all the trust he has. He’s already started to,” I thought back on Robin, on the peacekeeper he killed, on the guard Burton was with, on Catullus himself.
Even Livia.
She thought I came into this mindlessly, maybe I was a fool, but I wasn’t an idiot.
One wrong move, and we all fall down.
—
“Wait-“ The name barely escaped my lips, as I futility tried to duck below a hit. I was successful, but brought closer to the cliffside, it was a long drop down. But I couldn’t see him, I couldn’t even hear him breathing, or speaking.
I don’t know how someone so big could disappear so fast.
“Please, just think about this! Think about how the others would feel if you did this! I-I can help you!” I couldn’t help the panic in my voice. I didn’t understand this. I just didn’t understand why this was happening!
“You can’t help me,” His voice came, and I snapped my head in that direction. The only light in hear was from the top of the caverns, and my flashlight had fallen when he first attacked. “This is all your fault anyways!”
I saw movement from the corner of my eyes, but it was too late then, he had pushed me, and I was starting to fall off the cliff.
I felt a small scream escaping me, in the darkness, I couldn’t tell how long the fall was.
So I did the next best thing, grabbing onto anything I could hold onto.
Indeed, it turned out to be his wrist, and his balance was lost by the added weight, both of us falling into the caverns below, the sound of rushing water filling our ears.
—
I can’t believe her.
I can’t believe this all. Because he knows. He knows because of the trackers. And because he knows, she was worried, she came here to make sure I was safe. That’s the only way this all makes sense, that’s what Liv said.
And I’m confused. Because I’m not dead, or tortured, or in pain, and Louden hasn’t said a thing yet about knowing who I am.
He just asked that I interview someone for him. He said “Catullus, you have potential, you’re such a charming young man, and I have someone just dying to meet you”.
I hated the wording, but then I didn’t understand it. I just understood that the president of the nation asked me to do some silly interview, so I agreed, out of wanting to keep my identity safe, damnit.
I hate ever having come here. Because Liv warns me before I even go out, when she comes to speak to me, that I’m going to hate what happens next. She warns that one of the rebels was there, but she refused to tell me. She warned that Robin was with them, and I remember the scowl on my face. So Robin caught them?
I was thinking it would be Macaria, seeking to avenge Halina and Arlo.
I wasn’t expecting to see Holly, decked in a gown that didn’t fit someone as satire as herself, sitting on a couch just casually talking to Robin.
Because, really, who would expect that?
—
In the river Lethe, it’s said that there is oblivion. A forgotten realm, infinite possibilities. It’s under the world, it’s under it all. For fear of being forgotten, we ran.
In the river Styx, the border between life and death, the invincible are born, one weak point on their body, like the heel of Achilles. Or, the sinful were left to torment in the water traps of it’s waters below the Earth for all eternity. The pure, the bad. The line is mixed.
In the watery trap, with no escape in sight, I watch in dreary sight, I’ve fought many fears on this day. Anxieties and worries. I’ve fought friends, I’ve fought it all just to get a chance.
It reminds me, how I hide, I’d rather drown that face the truth.
Why do I feel like they got our names wrong?
—
“10!”
Where the hell was I? Because this didn’t look like the Capitol, or like home.
“9!”
No, this looked oddly like something else...
No Maddie, Macaria..
“8!”
No Ari, no Burton....
“7!”
Nothing. They’re all gone? I don’t remember much about this.
“6!”
But this looks familiar...
“5!”
They look familiar?
“4!”
No, only some. But why?
“3!”
It’s flooding back. This isn’t as I remembered, but this isn’t right either.
“2!”
Why am I scared?
“1!”
How is he alive?
“Let the 91rst Hunger Games begin!”
Oh....
That’s why.
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Post by 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 on Mar 31, 2020 2:01:33 GMT -5
I remember my necklace of rope, tied firmly around my neck, stealing my breath, my hope, my life.
It was all too surreal, painful, suffocation. Locked away from my love, locked away from my family, knowing that somewhere, they were watching as my breath was stolen,
Bitterness, it was one of my last emotions. Desperation, consolidation wasn’t an option. Out there, somewhere, Macaria was crying as one of the few lights in her life died. Somewhere out there, Amadrya was doing her best to hold back tears and comfort her past enemy. Somewhere, Everest was realizing he would never free me, Burton was holding back a heartbroken Halina, Ari was watching, waiting to see who was next. Holly was somewhere, screaming for help, begging to be freed. Macaria was watching the lifetime we had fade away as the light faded from my eyes.
It was the emotions I felt.
Macaria, my mom...even Diana. They all believed in me, and I let them down. I was supposed to protect them. My mom didn’t have anyone else. Macaria didn’t have anyone else. Diana, Amadrya, Holly...they all were depending on me.
I fought, as hard as I could, I wanted Macaria to know I loved her. I wanted to talk again, tell her how I felt, I wanted to warn her. I wanted to tell her to be there for my mom, because my mom needed someone. Someone needed to find Holly, someone had to help Everest.
I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t see anything, I could hear Louden’s voice, warning the public, I could hear Robin’s soft utterances, and a part of me wondered if this is what she wanted. Or is like Macaria and I, she too was on the wrong path, she needed someone to change her.
I noticed a overwhelming pain, but then, when the breaths wouldn’t come, I felt a coolness settle through my limbs, like ice, before I felt it take hold of my heart, and freeeze it over too.
And that was it.
“Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
They strung up a man
They say who murdered three
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree?”
That was it, that is, until I heard the soft voice wafting through the wind. I hadn’t known all the time it had been. I didn’t care to watch or see. It’s not like I could actually help anyone now, no, instead, I could feel their mourning on the wind, their tears in the sea. I could hear their hearts breaking under shallow rib cages, and nothing I could do would help it.
I hadn’t thought I’d hear a voice, not on the day of my funeral. But I’d recognize it anywhere.
Mother always had the softest voice, one that transpired heartbreak and regret, but also loving and kindness. But now, it sounded so hopeless and broken, like someone had taken everything she had away.
Because they did.
The song was, in my humble opinion, overly fitting. It wasn’t really just the words, but the theme. I guess I died a martyr. But I did little to help anyone at all. Instead, I broke their hearts, made them lose hope.
I-I...
I let them down.
I spotted my mother softly laying flowers on my grave, with her eyes filled with raindrops, just begging to pour and water the dead flower beneath the soil. But nothing could revive it. Nothing could bring me back.
I was gone, they were not.
I couldn’t stand to see her in such condition, quickly trying to hug her, but finding myself unable to feel any warmth at all, any consolation. Just a overbearing loneliness and depression.
So I went to turn away. Nothing more could have been done. Nothing I did could help-
“Are you, Are you
Coming to the tree
Where dead man called out
For his love to flee
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree[?/i]”
I halted my movements, snapping my head back, when I heard the soft, softly crackled voice of a depressed girl, whose tears couldn’t cease. But never had I heard something so sweet in my life.
Maybe it was the love I felt in that moment, or maybe it was the reality that she was there for my mom when I couldn’t be.
She never would admit it. But she changed. She changed, and she was the most amazing thing I had met in my life. A smart, cunning, brave flame, one that would be hard to extinguish, one that survived the darkest of nights and hardest of rains.
But I fear that maybe that light would flicker out, dying off as the cold took hold, as everything ripped away once more. As such goes, a candle will die if it has nothing to burn.
And without my heart beating, she could no longer have my heart to hold. She had no one. No family to guide her. No true friends to help her.
The rebels still hadn’t forgiven her. Maybe Amadrya had. Even Everest was opening up to her. Halina too. But some rebels, like Holly, were too broken to mend.
Macaria had changed, she was opening up, she was becoming a bright rose amongst a field of orchids. But now, she may wilt. Holly was always her namesake, a little red berry amongst a patch of green, at times, she seemed inviting, but her spiky leaves and poisoned nature kept everything away, it’s branches too thick to be severed.
Holly never had to worry of wilting, not when she kept everyone away. People like her don’t tend to break, but they also don’t tend to grow. One day, they just start to die, sometimes infested by pests, or by a disease. Sometimes, it’s themselves that attack and tear themselves apart, until nothing but a wilted Skelton remained.
I feared that was what Macaria was going to become, a Skelton, one whose heart was torn and burned to ash. Louden couldn’t have picked a better move. Not only did he bring a reminder to all rebels, he fulfilled his word to Holly (‘just like your mother’), and he attacked the strongest rebel there was.
I smiled softly at her, because I knew she could heal. She had done it before. She could do it now. If a disease wouldn’t kill her, neither could her own thorns and broken heart.
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where I told you to run
So we'd both be free
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree.
One by one, at some point, all the rebels picked up the tune as their song. An alma mater to the hope the rebellion had. For ever rebel who died, another would join. For every heartbroken mother, father, brother, sister, friend, and lover, the lyrics would be brought.
By Macaria and my mothers, finding unity at my grave.
By Everest, who would sing it at night when Amadrya would have nightmares, a method of comforting his girlfriend, but also a way of reminding her of what was lost, of what to look forward to.
By Halina, when she would play with the kids. Reminding them of freedom, though the meaning was usually lost upon them. Mallory would always get that knowing look in her eyes, as if she understood everything being said, to the degree of fearful. Hope for kids like her, who had seen more than they should, and hope for those traumatized like Pascal.
By Ari, as he would remember his life before he was selected for the games, made into a rebel. I knew he wanted to be back home, I knew he just wanted to have an easier life. But at the same time, his spirit would never give in. He’d become a loyal friend to Amadrya, and nothing would take that away.
By Holly, as she would stare at the stars at night, wondering why everyone left her, why she brought pain to anyone she ever opened up to, that’s why they left, she was sure. But the guilt too, would get to her, sometimes she would address me and sing to me, as if she believed I could hear, and apologize for all she did(though it usually consisted of some stupid pun about hanging).
By Burton, who left his life behind to find refuge as a spy, to feel useful. He looked up towards my actions, refused to let me die in vain. He did something none of us could do, but he was the smartest of them all in his method of fighting. The only way the rebels won was to storm the Capitol from the inside out. He would hum the song, and frequently visit the place I died. I was surprised to find flowers there, notes, and little farewells from citizens of the Capitol. Some of them, even, couldn’t stand for what was happening.
For all of Panem, it was a song of hope. And sometimes, you can hear Macaria humming it alongside the others, anytime they find another lost child, find another dead rebel, comfort another dead parent, or find another dead tribute. They sing a lullaby of despair, but hope.
”Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Wear a necklace of hope
Side by side with me
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree”
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Mar 31, 2020 2:10:03 GMT -5
Dude
That was amazing and sad and omg I loved it)
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Post by Sparky on Mar 31, 2020 11:10:58 GMT -5
[ don't cry don't cry don't cry ]
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Mar 31, 2020 16:06:19 GMT -5
It wasn’t like I didn’t hear the way my parents talked before I left for the Capitol. I heard them the night before it was due to leave, as I passed the room the rebels had given them next door to my sisters.
“He’s really going, isn’t he?” I heard my mother say, her voice escaping in a heavy sigh
It was at that point I moved closer to the door as quietly as possible, leaning in so I could hear better what they were saying. I caught the sound of some movement, probably my father moving to comfort my mom.
“Yes, Satine,” he said softly “he is.”
“He always was the one who gave us scares, wasn’t he?” my mother replied “right from when he was born. Always putting himself in danger to protect his sisters, taking risks.”
“We always told him that he was giving us grey hairs,” I heard my dad chuckle, but there was a sadness beneath it
“Remember when the factory was late with the wages?” my mother asked
“He got caught stealing materials from the factories to sell,” I heard my father respond “we barely convinced them not to punish him.”
I remember that. I was a good worker, and so were my parents; it had taken some pleading, but I hadn’t been punished. It had been a stupid thing to do, but I was sixteen and desperate. Worried my family would starve if they were late another few weeks.
“And then he signed up for tesserae again the next month after promising us he wouldn’t,” my father continued “gave us a heart attack.”
That’s when I heard my mother start to sob.
“I can’t lose him, Lisle,” she said through her tears “that’s my baby.”
“I know,” my dad said softly, and his voice cracked “I know.”
“He’s going to die out there,” my mom murmured “he’s too kind for them, he cares too much. He’ll die, far from home, under a different name. He’s Burton, not Catullus. Burton. They’ve covered up everything about him, that’s not my boy anymore.”
I couldn’t stand there anymore after that, I had to walk away. If I had to hear my parents talk like that anymore I wouldn’t be able to bear it.
I hated that they talked about me as if I was already dead, as if they were going to lose me. They’d been the same when I was chosen for the Games, and I lived. They underestimate me like everyone else does. I don’t know what more I could have done to show them how capable I am; I’ve worked since I was young, I took tesserae for my siblings. Did everything to keep them in school.
I had to do this. To prove to everyone that I’m not weak, that I’m useful to this rebellion. That I’m not to be underestimated. And I want my part of taking down Louden. I want to be somebody, not just a kid from District 8 who was there when the rebellion was going on and just stood back and watched it happen.
I thought of my friends. Especially Arlo, who sacrificed his life for the rest of us. Who went to his death bravely but also with pride because he knew he’d done something good. I looked up to him, I really did. If this was to be the end of me, then I’d face it the same way Arlo did.
I also thought of Holly, who caught my attention with her act of defiance the very moment I met her. She had such fire, and I needed that. I looked up to that. If it were anyone but me going she would have been telling me to do this. I know she would. And it had become increasingly clear to me recently that I was falling for her, and had been for a long time now. I wanted to be someone who deserved Holly.
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Apr 3, 2020 12:15:41 GMT -5
Maybe there isn’t a future for me.
But there is a present, that much I know.
I woke up in Everest’s arms, which for the record freaked me out, and my freaking out in turn freaked him out. We don’t talk abut it because neither of us come across our most intimidating out of that story. I was also in a lot of pain, enough that my first words after Everest nearly dropped me were ‘holy shit’
I was trained to be able to deal with pain, and a lot of it if need be. We don’t need to talk about the training methods of the academy. But still, the cut Holly had made in my left arm to remove the tracker hurt like hell and wasn’t a pleasant thing to wake up to by any stretch of the imagination. Not to mention my head hurt really bad as well, which from context I was able to figure out must have resulted from Holly knocking me out with a blow to the head.
A habit of hers, if the story Burton had told us was correct.
By this point Everest had put me down, helping me to stand when I was a little wobbly for a moment.
“Holly’s gone to the Capitol,” I said as soon as I was alert, urgency tinging my voice
I barely even registered my blood and Holly’s in the snow
“You don’t say,” Everest commented sarcastically
I shot him one of my worst looks. The kind of look that after all those years he would recognise as a clear warning.
“Do you really want to sass me right now, Stonewell?” I reply “I’m pissed and in a lot of pain.”
He falls silent, and I continued.
“Diana and Alistair knew about the trackers.”
“We kn-” Amadrya began
I interrupted her with my best ‘I dare you’ glare, because I wasn’t in the mood to deal with that right now.
“I’m going to the Capitol,” I said, looking between my friends “I’ll bandage myself up so I don’t bleed out before I get there, but I’m going. I don’t recommend you come with me, because someone has to stay with Ari, and with Alistair and Diana so they don’t come after us. But I’m not like Alandria, I won’t stop you if you’re that determined to come; if you do you have to remove your trackers too. You should just know that if you come with me, you probably won’t come back alive.”
————
Despite the fact that I told Amadrya and Everest that I didn’t care if they came with me, I wanted them to stay safe at the base, and I managed to convince them not to come with me. Besides, I needed somebody to keep Alistair and Diana from asking questions about the whereabouts of Holly and I. Plus, if they wanted to make them pay for leaving our trackers in, I wouldn’t be mad about it.
I arrived at the Capitol with little issue. Nobody was paying attention to one teenage girl, after all. It wasn’t hard at all from there to find Louden’s location. If that was the building Louden was in, it must also have been the one Holly was in. One way or another.
It was from there I had issues. I hadn’t really planned this, which meant I was far too conspicuous in the building to just walk around. Burton had been able to do that when rescuing Holly, Amadrya and I, but he had done so in a disguise. An advantage I didn’t have.
It took a lot of sneaking around, and maybe a few incapacitated guards stuffed in broom closets, but it isn’t too long before I make it to the room I knew Louden would be in.
I position myself against the wall, peeking round the door frame so I can examine the scene before me.
There’s the stage, and two chairs. There’s Burton, still dressed as Catullus. There’s Holly in the other seat. And Louden lurking. The lights are bright, the cameras are rolling, and everyone looks very uncomfortable. About normal for Louden’s propaganda campaign.
Now is my time to act. There are a couple of peacekeepers in the background who haven’t noticed me t, but I expected that. It’s part of the plan. Well, I say plan. I made it up on the spot so it’s not really much of a plan. That implies that I actually thought about this. Normally I do think about things before rushing into them like an idiot, but this time all I knew was that I needed to be here.
Still, I draw one of my throwing knives and wedge it carefully into my boot, the handle barely visible. But Holly’s observant, I know she’ll see it. All I need to do is get her a clear shot at Louden, which means getting those peacekeepers out of the way. They’d shoot anyone who tried to kill Louden before the knife even hit. If I’m getting her a chance out of here she needs the peacekeepers occupied.
Which is why I draw the other knife I brought with me, and make aim for Louden’s head, only shifting my aim a little to the left right as I release. It jams in the wall next to him, but his gaze instantly shifts to me and it takes barely a second before I’m being grabbed by two peacekeepers and pulled onto the stage, in the frame of the camera. I try to make sure I’m standing as close to Holly as I can possibly get, meeting her eye and then flicking my gaze down to my boots. Hopefully she’ll get the message; she’s smart, so I’m sure she will.
“Ah, Miss Harlow,” Louden says as he plucks the knife from the wall, “what an unexpected pleasure,”
“Wait, Harlow?” Holly asks incredulously
“Yes, Carena Lethe Harlow to be precise. The real name of the young lady from District 2,”
“What?” Holly repeats, clearly still trying to process the whole situation
“Everything she says is a lie, dear, I can’t think why you’re surprised,” Louden smirks
“Well, if we’re on the subject of my name,” I respond with a wicked smile “we can always talk about why I’m no longer Carena Harlow, though I doubt you’d like the good people of Panem to hear that story, now would you?”
Louden looks frustrated then, clearly weighing up how to respond,
“Why are you here?” he questions
“I should think the knife beside your head is a clue,” I commented “but if you want to me precise about it, I’m here to rescue my friends. Because most of us lost at least someone important to us because of you. I lost my whole family. But that didn’t stop me from finding my own. I may not like them, I may disagree with them 99% of the time, but I love them and I’m here for them. And for Halina. And for Alessandro. You wanted us to hate one another but we didn’t, and that’s going to be your undoing.”
I was trying to buy Holly time, and it seems that it works; after my words, Holly lunges to grab the knife in my boot, and looses it on Louden before the peacekeepers holding me can so much as move.
I don’t need to say whether it ended well for me or not, because that doesn’t matter. The words I said about my friends being my family were real. And I’m glad I did what Alessandro would have wanted me to do; make a stand for what I believe in. And in the process, we took down Louden.
Freedom has a price, and Holly didn’t have to be the only one to pay it.
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Post by 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 on Apr 3, 2020 12:25:00 GMT -5
(I love her so much.)
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Apr 3, 2020 12:47:07 GMT -5
I’m glad you liked it I wasn’t a fan of how that turned out but eh)
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Apr 6, 2020 16:21:31 GMT -5
My mind had mostly tried to wipe from my memory the toke I spent in Louden’s captivity. But I do remember a couple of strange instances, some unusual things that happened while I was prisoner in the Capitol.
I remember being marched by Louden down the hallways to a propaganda photoshoot, in full dress and makeup. Scars nicely hidden, glowing in a soft white dress. The only clue of what I’d gone through might be the look in my eyes.
And as we walked I remember catching sight of some movement in my peripheral vision. I didn’t get a good look but it seemed to be a figure of a buy around my age. As soon as he saw me and Louden passing, flanked by peacekeepers, he’d stepped back quickly into the shadows, melting away out of sight. I could still the light as his eyes followed us as we walked past. But when I hesitated to try and get a better look, Louden pulled me roughly ahead, giving me a warning box around the ear. He didn’t like me hesitating or holding him up in the hallways on the way to interviews or whatever sick propaganda thing he wanted me to do.
———
I saw him again a few days later. Louden had me doing some kind of interview. Again in some godawful Capitol gown that I would never be caught dead in normally. We hadn’t started rolling yet, and Louden has stepped away for a moment, leaving me under the guard of the peacekeepers.
And then, from around a wall I saw a pair of eyes. A boy was looking at me from around the pillar. A boy of about my age. Light blond hair, blue eyes. He had a Capitol look about him. Not just his fashion sense but also in his eyes, in the way he held himself. The confidence in the way he fixed his eyes on me. And worse, there was something awfully familiar about his demeanour and his gaze.
That’s when I realised. It was Louden’s son.
———
I forgot about the strange encounters with Louden’s son. Let them fade into a perplexing memory. I never knew why I saw him those two times, what he had wanted. But it became unimportant. After my return I distracted myself from the memories, throwing myself into my work with the rebels and letting myself fall in love with Everest.
Of course, that all fell apart when Holly left for the Capitol. Everest and I stayed behind with Ari and with Alistair and Diana. Couldn’t risk them finding out about Holly’s little excursion while she was gone. And then of course, Macaria had followed.
It was when they came back that things really got strange. It seemed they’d commandeered a hovercraft to fly back, and when they landed three figures left the hovercraft. First Holly, looking pretty beaten up and injured. Then Macaria, also looking a little worse for wear. And finally, Burton, still dressed as Catullus and looking kind of dishevelled, his dyed blue hair sticking up in all directions.
It was a happy reunion as Everest, Ari and I hugged all of our friends in turn (no matter how much Holly hated it) and greeted them.
But then, before the doors of the hovercraft closed, another figure came running out — to the surprise of all of us.
“What the hell?” Burton asked as we all spotted the approaching figure
“Did someone stow away on the hovercraft?” I asked
As the figure drew closer and joined the group, I realised it was the same boy. He stopped a little distance from us, obviously not really sure how to go shout what he was about to do.
“I’m Paxton Acacius Louden,”
“We know,” Macaria responded with a raised eyebrow
“Why did nobody think to check the hovercraft for the literal president’s son?” Holly asked before looking at Paxton “for the record it’s a stupid name. Why do people in the Capitol have to give their kids dumb names?”
“It’s not that weird,” Macaria began
“Yeah, well Macaria’s dumb too,” Holly shot back “District 2 is weird as well.”
But it was then that Everest chose to step forward, causing the rest of us to fall into silence as he fixed Paxton with a serious look.
“Why are you here, Capitolite?”
Paxton met Everest’s gaze and held it, folding his arms.
“I’m here to help the rebels.”
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Apr 6, 2020 16:21:45 GMT -5
Okay it’s a very short intro to Paxton)
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Post by 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 on Apr 6, 2020 17:35:08 GMT -5
(He’s now going to be in the fic you can’t stop me.)
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Apr 6, 2020 17:38:17 GMT -5
I’m okay with that XD)
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Post by Sparky on Apr 6, 2020 18:18:45 GMT -5
[ kinda seems like a badass ngl
like how rebellious can a child get ]]
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Apr 10, 2020 15:32:24 GMT -5
”What about the green one?” I suggested “it really brings out your eyes.”
Holly and I had a mission in the Capitol, and I was helping her choose an outfit so she’d fit in amongst the Capitol crowd. The elegant emerald green halter-neck shirt (I knew Holly would kill me personally if I suggested she wear a dress) seemed the right way to go.
“I don’t have to look pretty while slicing people in half, you know,” Holly said as she examined the shirt
“I know,” I shrugged as I held up a gold dress against myself “but that doesn’t mean you can’t.”
I didn’t need a dress, but honestly nothing was excessive in the Capitol. In fact, if Holly was going with that relatively simple green shirt, I might have to overcompensate and dress up for the both of us. Luckily people were likely to turn a blind eye to whatever we were wearing as long as it didn’t look like clothes from the districts.
“I could do your makeup too,” I suggested hopefully
Truth be told, I’d been dying to get some makeup on Holly. She would totally suit it, and doing makeup on yourself got boring. Holly was a blank canvas, and I could have a chance to be creative with it. I’d already tried on most of our friends, including the boys, but nobody seemed to want to let me experiment on them with makeup.
”Macaria, let me make this absolutely clear,” Holly said firmly “the day I let you touch my face is the day Everest adds a tutu to his battle armour”
”Spoilsport,” I huffed
___________________________
”Can I ask you a question?”
Holly and I were sitting on the roof of the rebel base, looking out at the moonlit landscape surrounding us. I turned to look at her.
”I can’t guarantee you an honest answer, but shoot,” I said with a shrug
“Why did you do this?” Holly questioned
”Do what?”
Holly gestured widely to everything around us. Clearly she meant the whole rebel situation.
”This.” She said “I mean, forgive me if I’m wrong, but based on literally everything I know about you, siding with Louden was obviously your path. You’re manipulative, you play the system for your own benefit, you were raised on the Capitol’s side. By all rights you should have been sided with him.”
I looked at her, then back out into the landscape around us.
”Let me tell you something about the Hunger Games,” I said “the biggest mistake most people make is getting too drawn in by the surface stuff-“
”-You mean the murder?” Holly interrupted with a raised eyebrow
”Yes, the murder,” I replied “they forget to pay attention to the people who are most important for their survival; the gamemakers and the audience. That’s why you and Burton made such a great team; you were smart, and good at protecting the pair of you, but pretty unlikeable, no offence. Burton was useless in a fight but knew how to play the gamemakers and the audiences like a fiddle.”
”And what’s your point?” Holly questioned “I’m assuming this is a long-winded analogy that’s going somewhere.”
”The point is you got too caught up in the surface stuff when it comes to me. The truth is that I learned a lot from Alessandro, and from you and the others. I learned that I wanted to try and be a better person, and that was the one thing the Capitol couldn’t offer me.” I replied
I paused for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts. I wanted to try and articulate this a little better.
”I have blood on my hands, Holly,” I said with a glance at the girl I would perhaps not call my friend, but I would call my sister “and I can’t take that back. But what I can do is try to make it worth something. It’s not about me anymore, it’s about the people I hurt. And about all of us. About all of Panem. I can’t be selfish anymore.”
”So you joined a fight that it seems we’re pretty likely to lose,” Holly commented with a smile
”The fight’s the important part,” I replied
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Apr 14, 2020 14:39:03 GMT -5
I’d been home from the Capitol for a little while now, long enough that the blue was starting to fade from my hair. I was almost back to the way I had looked before I had left; no more makeup, no more Capitol clothes, nothing. For the first time in a long time, I felt like myself again.
I sat on the roof of the rebel base, in the cool night breeze, a breeze which softly stirred Holly’s dark hair as she sat next to me. We both stared out into a starry sky, which seemed to glimmer more than any of beautiful clothes in the Capitol. Neither of us were used to skies this clear in the smoky air of District 8. It is only since I got chosen for the Games that the constant cough that everyone in our district suffered from began to abate.
But I’ve been thinking a lot recently, and I know I have to get it off my chest. It’s been weighing on me for a long time, even more so since I left for the Capitol. And we’re alone, which means now is as good a time as any. I’m nervous to tell her, because I don’t want to ruin our friendship but also because I’m worried about how she’ll react, but I know I have to do this. After seeing what happened with Macaria and Arlo I know that I should not leave this unsaid.
“Holly, I’ve got to tell you something,” I began
“Ooh, sounds serious,” Holly says teasingly, turning to look at me with those intelligent green eyes
“Please, Holly,” I beg “don’t say anything. I just have to get this all out and if I don’t say it all now I never will.”
Holly looks a little confused, but doesn’t say anything more. The truth is I don’t want her to say anything because I don’t want her to react until I’m done saying what I need to say. I just take a deep breath before I continue.
“My time in the Capitol taught me a lot about what’s truly important,” I begin “and about what I need to say to you. I remember when I saw you at the reaping, and you were so defiant. It was like you were this bright, unstoppable energy, like the sun. She’s going to win the Games, I thought. I still thought that after I was called myself. And I thought you were strong, and brave. And I want you to know that as we became friends, I started to have feelings. I fell in love with you. And I know that to love is a fool’s errand. I know that it only causes you hurt, that it makes you vulnerable. I know that there is no room for it in death and war. But I did it anyway. I loved you in the Hunger Games, even though I knew both of us could not survive. I didn’t tell you then, because I knew you would hate all of Panem to see that, and it would ruin the image you wanted to project. Plus, you had weapons, but that’s by the by. I loved you when the Capitol captured you, when I couldn’t spend a moment without a distraction because all of my thoughts led me back to you, when I knew I couldn’t reach you. I loved you when I left for the Capitol myself. I’m sorry I did that, because I know it hurt you and it was selfish. And, like the fool I am, I love you now. Even though it will likely tear my heart into a million pieces, because this world stamps out love when it sees it. But love is our only hope, and our smallest but most inextinguishable rebellion. Arlo proved that. So I love you, Holly Alandria, and I don’t regret it.”
And, too scared to see how Holly would react, I rushed to my feet and hurried away, running back into the rebel base and heading as fast as I could towards my room. But that was when I heard footsteps following me, and let’s be real I might be pretty fast myself but Holly was always faster. She caught up to me just as I laid my hand on the handle of my bedroom door, grabbing my shoulder so I would turn and look at her. Her face is unreadable, I can’t tell if she’s angry or not.
She reaches up and grabs my shirt, pulling until I’m bending down and we’re face to face.
“Firstly, don’t ever run away from me like that again,” she said forcefully, but then her voice softened “and secondly...”
And suddenly she’s kissing me, which surprises me more than anything else, her hand moving from my shirt to the back of my head as she pulls me in closer. It’s a few moments before she pulls away.
“You are a fool,” she said “I’ve seen how stupid it is to let yourself love. But I guess that just makes us both fools.”
If love is rebellion, Holly and I are fools together. We are fools, but sometimes from foolishness comes strength and bravery in the face of odds that a wise person would despair at. We are not afraid.
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Apr 17, 2020 15:09:12 GMT -5
Time was running out.
It had been two weeks now since the factory had been supposed to pay Burton and his parents their wages. Without that money, the family was in trouble. They’d hardly eaten for a week now, and it was only going to get worse if the factory was much later with the money. Burton’s parents barely slept at night; he heard their anxious conversations, hushed in the middle of the night. Wondering what they were going to do, where they were going to get food from.
The anxiety pervading the house had clearly gotten to Lea and Twylla; they were quiet at home, more anxious. And Burton had heard from one of his old school friends, whose younger sister was a friend of Lea and Twylla, that both girls’ grades had been slipping recently. They seemed pale, tired. And he heard the way their stomachs stumbled, even though they tried to hide it. Just like Burton hid the gnawing, painful hunger in his own stomach from them.
Nobody was in danger of starving, not yet. But if something didn’t change soon, they would be.
Burton was almost at the end of his shift at the factory. It was loud in there, and hot, and the work intricate. But almost over. And in fact, as he heard the sound of the alarm signifying the end of his shift and the sixteen-year-old took the roll of material he had been working with back to the shelves along the walls of the factory where it was stored, he paused.
He had yet to return the fabric scissors he had been using, and so he looked for a moment between the material and the scissors in his hands. A part of him didn’t want to do it, but it only took a few moments of thought, his sisters’ faces flashing through his mind, before his mind was made up.
The boy cut a section of the fabric, folding it up and slipping it up the sleeve of his shirt. He was jumpy, nervous that people might have noticed, but he tried to keep his movements as natural as possible as he moved to return the fabric scissors and other equipment.
The fabric wasn’t much, but if he was clever about it he could sell it for a decent amount of money. A start, anyway. He’d have to find another way to continue making money, but this might get them a few meals.
All was well, nobody suspicious, until he trooped out of the factory along with the rest of the slow, trudging crowd of workers. Peacekeepers stood guard at the doors of the factory, and just as Burton was leaving a neighbouring worker jostled Burton, causing the material to peek from Burton’s sleeves. This caught the attention of one of the peacekeepers - the commander in fact, who was known to have a very keen eye and an even keener thirst for punishment.
Burton cried out as his elbow was grabbed and he was yanked out of the crowd by the commander, who promptly pulled the material from the boy’s sleeve, a triumphant grin on his face.
“Looks like we have a thief,” the commander said, holding Burton’s hand in the air as the boy struggled, “can’t say I expected that from you, Acton.”
“Please,” Burton responded “let me go!”
By now several peacekeepers had gathered round, and the commander just have them a look.
“Take him to the square,”
—————
It wasn’t long before Burton had been marched to the square in front of the justice building, where there stood a solitary whipping post. The square was relatively busy, now, as most of the residents of District 8 travelled home. Burton was still struggling, pointlessly, between the grip of two peacekeepers. The commander had accompanied them, and Burton watched as he gave a nod to the peacekeepers.
They started to force Burton forward towards the whipping post.
“Wait!” Burton tried one more time, to no avail.
He even tried digging his heels into the cobbled ground, but it was no good. The boy was forced to his knees and his wrist tied, his back exposed as they ripped his shirt open. This obviously caught the attention of the crowd, who started to gather. He didn’t recognise any of them, but he did note a girl who stood in the crowd, seemingly on the edges of it as if deciding whether she should stay or not. She was short but looked around his age, with dark hair and distinctive green eyes.
He just looked down, and gritted his teeth. He was scared, the rapid rise and fall of his chest was enough for that, but he wasn’t going to be able to change it now.
“Fine,” he muttered to himself.
It felt like forever before the first lash hit his back. He could feel it slicing his skin, a white-hot burning pain, and he cried out, his eyes already pricking with pained tears. God, this was going to be embarrassing.
But before another lash could even land, he heard shouting from someone in the crowd.
“Wait! Stop!”
He’d recognise the voices of his parents anywhere. Burton couldn’t hear them, but he could hear his father’s footsteps approaching Burton, shielding him from the whip, while his mother spoke to the commander.
“Please,” Burton could hear his mother begging “he made a mistake, he’s only a boy.”
“Just untie him,” Burton heard his father add “and we can talk about this properly.”
There was a long pause, before he heard a heavy sigh coming from the commander. He must have given some sort of signal because suddenly he was being untied and hauled back to his feet, at which point he found himself standing next to his father, supported by the older man as the two approached the spot where the commander was standing with Burton’s mother. Once there, the commander fixed Burton with a hateful look.
“Well,” the commander snarled “what do you have to say for yourself, boy?”
“I was desperate, okay?” Burton said, still wincing from the pain “look, I swear I won’t do it again. I don’t have a spot on my record, neither do my parents. We’re honest, good workers. I’ll work extra hours to pay back the cost of the fabric.”
There was another long pause from the commander, but he finally rolled his eyes and pointed away.
“Get out of my sight. If you so much as put a foot out of line I’ll have you more than flogged, do you understand? You don’t make a fool out of me,” he warned
Burton and his parents didn’t need to be told twice; the boy was herded away from the square, passing through the crowd. Burton thought he saw the black-haired girl again, for a brief moment, but then she slipped away.
Once they were free of the crowds, Burton’s mother gave him a gentle hug, careful to avoid the painful area on his back.
“We’re so proud of you,” she said “so proud that you tried to look after your family.”
When she broke away though, she promptly boxed Burton sound the ears
“Mom!” Burton cried “what was that for?”
“Getting caught,” she said simply
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Apr 19, 2020 5:00:58 GMT -5
I still remember, third of December, me in your sweater
You said it looked better on me than it did you
Only if you knew, how much I liked you
It was winter in the rebel base, and Burton and Holly were sitting together on a couch, taking a rare moment of relaxation. Things had been chaotic of late, and the pair were so pleased to finally be getting a moment that didn’t involve training, or propaganda, or anything. The war felt a million miles away.
But Holly did a light shiver, and Burton noticed very quickly that the girl seemed to be cold. He glanced at the sweater he was wearing, then looked back at Holly. It didn’t take even a second of decision; he pulled the sweater off his head and held it out to Holly.
She looked at the sweater, then back at Burton, a suspicion in her eyes. Her green eyes that drew Burton in more every time he saw them. They were a forest, beautiful and vibrant, and sometimes mysterious, like Holly herself.
“What are you doing?” she asked skeptically
“Defusing a bomb,” Burton replied sarcastically, raising his eyebrow “what does it look like? I’m offering you my sweater.”
“That’s the kind of thing couples do,” Holly responded “we’re not a couple.”
“I know,” Burton said “but you’re cold. In the name of all they is good and holy, just take the freaking sweater, Alandria.”
Holly hesitated, but finally grabbed the sweater and pulled it over her head. In response, Burton gave her a smile. It completely swamped Holly, but it looked cute.
“You suit it,” he murmured “it looks better on you.”
But I watch your eyes as she
Walks by
What a sight for sore eyes, brighter than a blue sky
She's got you mesmerized while I die
Paige’s eyes were blue, the softest cornflower blue. It reminded Burton of soft, cloudy blue skies. She had such a brigit smile, but gentle. And when she looked at him, it made Burton feel almost whole again.
It had been a long time since the loss of Holly. And Burton would never forget her, could never ever let himself forget her. She was the first person he had ever loved. She had come into his life and changed it - and him - forever. She was intense, and strong, and beautiful, and brave, and unlike anyone else Burton had ever met in his life. He would never be completely whole again now that she was gone.
If Holly was the sun, bright and intense, Paige was the moon. Calming, steady, reliable. Holly was beautiful chaos, Paige was the one who put everything back together.
And when Burton met her, he fell instantly. For her dimples, her bright eyes, her chestnut hair. For her kindness, for her patience. She didn’t care about his scars, she didn’t mind when they were having a conversation and he would see something that reminded him of the Game or the Capitol and he had a flashback. She didn’t do that nightmares plagued him at night.
What he didn’t know was that Holly had not moved on after her death. She could see Burton falling before even he could, and it broke her heart. He had never looked at anyone but her the way he was looking at Paige. She just hadn’t realised at the time what that look had meant. Perhaps if she had they could have been together. Or if he had just said something, anything.
But it was too late, and Holly was forced to watch as he fell for another.
Why would you ever kiss me?
I'm not even half as pretty
You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester
But you like her better
Wish I were Heather
As far as Holly was concerned, this was torture. But she understood it.
Paige was beautiful, full of life. Holly has never thought of herself as attractive, even if Burton had disagreed. And when she looked at Paige, with a painful pang she wondered why Burton had ever had any interest in Holly. Why had he ever wanted her when girls like Paige existed?
She had never thought of herself as relationship material. She just wasn’t interested in that kind of thing. Not to mention that relationships required communication, emotional vulnerability. Things Burton was very good at, Holly very bad. She didn’t want to share and be open about her emotions or about her issues. She was sarcastic, she pushed people away when they cared about her, she held a lot of anger. She was scared that people would leave her just when she dared to care. That wasn’t conducive to a healthy relationship at all.
No, it was clear to her that Paige was better for Burton, no matter how much pain that caused her. She and Burton might have been a good couple back when the rebellion and the Games were happening. But in the aftermath, when Burton struggled so much with the trauma, Paige was who he needed. Someone who could help keep him together when he felt like he was shattering
The dark-haired girl watched as Burton sat next to Paige, the girl wearing that very same sweater Burton had let Holly wear al that time ago.
And despite everything, her heart couldn’t stop telling her that it should have been her sitting next to Burton. Resting her head on his shoulder like Paige was. With Burton stroking her hair like he was doing with Paige. Well no, Holly would probably hate having her hair touched actually, but that wasn’t the point.
She missed him.
Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand
Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder
But how could I hate her? She's such an angel
Then again, kinda wish she were dead
Holly watched as Burton and Paige busied themselves in the kitchen of the house they owned together in District 8. They paused for a moment to hold hands, Burton pressing a kiss on Paige’s forehead as the two of them talked softly. A radio sat on the kitchen counter, and to distract herself from the couple Holly tried to tune in to what it was saying
That was when it started playing an old speech of Louden’s. They were apparently playing it to commemorate the day the arena was destroyed and the rebellion began, but none of that mattered. Holly knee what would happen, her gaze instantly moving to Burton.
At just the sound of Louden’s voice, he got that faraway look in his eyes, and seemed to stiffen. She knew he was back in some horrible memory. Maybe he could see something, maybe he could feel something, maybe he was just hearing the memory. It was just as painful whatever way it was happening.
Paige was quick to react, taking Burton gently by the arm and guiding him to the couch in their living room, making him sit and taking a seat beside him. It wasn’t long before he was out of the memory, but tears were already steaming down Burton’s face as he put his head in his hands.
“I can’t keep remembering,” he said, his voice thick “it’s going to kill me if I do. I need it all to just go away, Paige, but it won’t. It’s always going to be there. He’s always going to be there.”
Holly understood that feeling in a way Paige couldn’t. The painful memories, the feeling of an identity you didn’t want but couldn’t escape. Burton would always be the boy from the 90th Games, the boy from the rebellion. The scarred boy. The boy with the ugly scar down his thigh, a reminder of Macaria’s wrath and the pain and trauma of the Games that would never go away.
“Shh,” Paige soothed “that’s okay. It’s alright if he never goes away, because I’m never going away either.”
It was then that Holly sat down on the other side of Burton. She could not hate Paige, she was just so nice. A little naive maybe, a little too soft and quiet and gentle. But she had the kind of strength Burton needed right now. Someone he could trust, someone with emotional strength and patience. Paige was simply too sweet to really hate.
But she did, because Paige had Burton. And as petty and selfish as it might be, Holly didn’t want that.
All she wanted was to turn back time, so she could be with him.
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Nov 21, 2024 15:09:07 GMT -5
Nov 21, 2024 15:09:07 GMT -5
