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Post by ~Duskheart~ on Mar 24, 2019 13:20:41 GMT -5
Anyone feel like a pride thread? I have noticed there is a happy amount of pride diversity on this board.
Let's chat about it from time to time.
Post your identities, coming out stories, struggles, cute/fun experiences, or hot topics!
I am pansexual, demiromantic, mostly binary. I go by she/her/hers pronouns, but also I don't really care.
Do you guys like to include black and brown on the pride flag?
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Post by tiger beetle on Mar 24, 2019 13:44:30 GMT -5
lack of a pride thread is probably mostly because of the on-site community, um............splintering
but hey! I’m a bi genderqueer ace
yeah, I think the addition of the black and brown stripes is a good thing
I’ve told this story before, but I came out as bi to my mom by forgetting I wasn’t already out and making some joke (she froze as she was about to leave the house, and I thought I must have crossed a line, but then she said, “Did you just come out?” and I realized I skipped that step) (my parents aren’t perfect but they are accepting; my sister is also bi and has dated a girl, and they’re supportive)
anyway I’m really good at getting crushes on people who are into women but probably not into whatever I am...rip
I’m semi-out at home and at school but to different degrees
I’ll use any pronouns, but if I leave it at that people always use she, so I typically also tack a “they” onto that anything
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Post by ~Duskheart~ on Mar 24, 2019 14:08:27 GMT -5
anyway I’m really good at getting crushes on people who are into women but probably not into whatever I am...rip Gosh that's what the pan people are for. Seek out the cooking device! Your coming out story is cute. Mine is like fire raining from the sky. Ah, I have also discovered I have ace tendencies, but I'm not really sure what to call it. Oh well.
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Post by tiger beetle on Mar 24, 2019 14:12:27 GMT -5
to be fair I’ve had some crushes on bi/pan people but my tendency to fall for straight guys and lesbians is exhausting
I definitely got lucky! I’m sorry yours didn’t go well
ace tendencies could be that you’re somewhere on the ace spectrum, maybe gray-ace, there are definitely more specific terms but I don’t remember them off the top of my head (and of course you could also choose to leave it at what you’ve already said as well)
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Bisexual
신성하지 않은 모든 것의 어머니
なんで私
Kpop isn't a choice, it's a lifestyle
Pronouns: She/Her/Demon Mom
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Post by なんで私 on Mar 24, 2019 14:30:01 GMT -5
I'm bisexual
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Post by ᏞᎪᎠᎽ Ꮎf fᎪᏁᎠᎾms ミ☆ on Mar 24, 2019 15:02:31 GMT -5
I have discovered my sexuality is on the bisexual spectrum. I know sexuality and all that is on a spectrum, so I don't truly need to use labels, but I have accepted that I do have an interest in girls as well as boys, so I prefer to say that I am bi-leaning.
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Post by infernoMarshmallow on Mar 24, 2019 20:14:32 GMT -5
i'm ace and probably aro as well because i just don't really bother with relationships, and have never felt the need to have one? i just like being alone lol i'm also transgender/heavily dysphoric but hope to have the funds to be transexual one day. my family knows about neither, and hopefully they never will as they consider anyone in SAGA/LGBT+ to be "freaks" and worse, and it's considered bad in my religion. i'd love to know what my parents would think if i told them i've had the same opinions about my gender ever since kindergarten haha and i'd be interested to know why black and brown would be added! anyone have some insight into this? is it because of race or is it because of something metaphorical?
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Bisexual
will
native american cowboy
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Post by will on Mar 24, 2019 20:32:18 GMT -5
and i'd be interested to know why black and brown would be added! anyone have some insight into this? is it because of race or is it because of something metaphorical? the black and brown stripes are supposed to be about race, yes. it's supposed to address racism within the lgbt community. however, i feel heavily uncomfortable about it because there actually was a black stripe on the original rainbow flag, meant to stand for all of the sga people who died during the aids crisis not that i am black or brown (native american), but i just don't see why we need them. i could understand the flag being used as a seperate pride flag - like how bears, lipstick lesbians, ect have a flag - but assigning it to the whole lgbt community? i just don't jibe with it hope this doesn't come off as offensive sksk
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Post by ✽Boop✽ on Mar 24, 2019 21:03:47 GMT -5
Yall don't see me often on this side of the forums but eh
I'm nonbinary, they/them. I'm not out to, well, anyone really. I live in an everything-phobic area and have phobic family members, so I prefer word not getting around to them. Not out to friends either, actually, since the thought of telling them makes me nervous (even tho most of em are LGBT themselves) and the thought of asking them to change what they call me and everything is just...exhausting. lol. then there's the thought that I might feel the need to change my identity again, and I don't wanna deal with that. So, yeah, I feel like I can only really be open about it on the internet.
I'm demisexual, bi-romantic-sensual-whatever. I've dated a couple guys. Almost dated a girl.
Eh, I see people add brown and black to the pride flag and I'm like, 'you do you'. I don't use the rainbow flag so I don't have a strong opinion of it. It doesn't seem to be a bad thing as far as I'm aware so it's whatev
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Lesbian
dawn
"I'm such a tiny constellation... but thank you for noticing I'm here."
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Post by dawn on Mar 24, 2019 22:34:20 GMT -5
im a lesbian ! i've known for about 5 years but only within the last year irl have i been out and am still working on being comfortable socially with my sexuality (big thanks to my friend bc he's so open and loud about himself it really helps me out)
that said only two people in my family actually know. my mom was first and it went fine and was no problem, but i had felt a bit forced since she had come on strong questioning me while in the middle of me driving so it wasn't how i wanted it to go nor was i actually ready to tell her and i cried in the bathroom for like an hour after lol my grandma knows since i live with her, and she's okay with it but,, i know she'd prefer if i was straight or at least also liked guys since whenever it comes up she's always like "well you don't know if you've never dated a guy before you could be bi" but whatever
the inclusion of the black and brown in the rainbow flag is fine i think. i appreciate the sentiment behind it at least, just wish they could have like ,,, used a color on the brown spectrum that actually blended in better. although my friend, who is a brown poc, told me he thinks it's butt ugly lmao
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Post by Leapkit on Mar 25, 2019 1:18:27 GMT -5
I don't discuss my labels anymore but hello.
I prefer the original pink roygbiv flag. Race has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality and gender so I don't see what the purpose of including it is. Being a person of color doesnt make you any more or less lgbt* than the rest of us. Thats what blm is for. By all means, include poc in other spaces but why do we need to alter an unrelated flag?
On a similar note, I also dont support fetish flags being in lgbt* spaces because they have nothing to do with gender or who you love. And it also perpetuates the concept that being gay/bi/etc is some kind of kink which is a problem we need to steer more away from not towards.
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Post by ~Duskheart~ on Mar 25, 2019 8:35:00 GMT -5
that's cool tho because when i'm 18 i can blow out and live my life Right. I have discovered my sexuality is on the bisexual spectrum. I know sexuality and all that is on a spectrum, so I don't truly need to use labels, but I have accepted that I do have an interest in girls as well as boys, so I prefer to say that I am bi-leaning. Yeah, I mean. Labels make people (usually oppressed groups) feel less isolated, like they have a place and others who are similar. It's for comfort and confidence. Definitely not a requirement. And sort of like with my maybe-ace tendencies, the spectrum existence makes it more difficult to stick a simple name to. i'm ace and probably aro as well because i just don't really bother with relationships, and have never felt the need to have one? i just like being alone lol i'm also transgender/heavily dysphoric but hope to have the funds to be transexual one day. my family knows about neither, and hopefully they never will as they consider anyone in SAGA/LGBT+ to be "freaks" and worse, and it's considered bad in my religion. i'd love to know what my parents would think if i told them i've had the same opinions about my gender ever since kindergarten haha and i'd be interested to know why black and brown would be added! anyone have some insight into this? is it because of race or is it because of something metaphorical? Hopefully it goes well with your parents! Most people regard my sexuality to be against my religion, too, but it's pretty debatable. Maybe yours is, too? Also, the extra colors are meant to be for racial inclusion, from what I understand. Yall don't see me often on this side of the forums but eh I'm nonbinary, they/them. I'm not out to, well, anyone really. I live in an everything-phobic area and have phobic family members, so I prefer word not getting around to them. Not out to friends either, actually, since the thought of telling them makes me nervous (even tho most of em are LGBT themselves) and the thought of asking them to change what they call me and everything is just...exhausting. lol. then there's the thought that I might feel the need to change my identity again, and I don't wanna deal with that. So, yeah, I feel like I can only really be open about it on the internet. I'm actually from an everything-phobic hometown, and I think it would have just been better to never come out to them. Seriously. I'd try to get away ASAP if I were you. That being said, one of my best friends grew up in the same place as a girl and transitioned male in college. He's been taking T for a while now, and since he looks so much like a man, people who meet him there have no problem with him. But, he has also told me he feels like he's restricted in the way that he dresses so he can "pull it off" more for people. ...Life seems happier in the northwest, aside from antivaxers. I'm gonna move there.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2019 10:02:07 GMT -5
I know I’m some shade of ‘gay’ but I’m not sure... which.
In the past couple of years, I’ve been really confused. I’ve called myself bisexual for a decade, but lately I’ve been having very conflicting feelings. I’ve felt comfortable with identifying as a lesbian for a whilr, then I thought ‘hmm maybe I’m asexual’, now I’m wondering if I really am bisexual after all that. It varies...
Ugh. I’ll get there eventually 😅
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Post by ~Duskheart~ on Mar 25, 2019 10:13:12 GMT -5
I know I’m some shade of ‘gay’ but I’m not sure... which. In the past couple of years, I’ve been really confused. I’ve called myself bisexual for a decade, but lately I’ve been having very conflicting feelings. I’ve felt comfortable with identifying as a lesbian for a whilr, then I thought ‘hmm maybe I’m asexual’, now I’m wondering if I really am bisexual after all that. It varies... Ugh. I’ll get there eventually 😅 If it makes you feel any better, you could just identify as queer/questioning. "I'm definitely something" people or changing people find some pleasure in the umbrella term, especially if they feel like they will never be static.
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Post by dreamgurl42 on Mar 25, 2019 13:29:27 GMT -5
and i'd be interested to know why black and brown would be added! anyone have some insight into this? is it because of race or is it because of something metaphorical? the black and brown stripes are supposed to be about race, yes. it's supposed to address racism within the lgbt community. however, i feel heavily uncomfortable about it because there actually was a black stripe on the original rainbow flag, meant to stand for all of the sga people who died during the aids crisis not that i am black or brown (native american), but i just don't see why we need them. i could understand the flag being used as a seperate pride flag - like how bears, lipstick lesbians, ect have a flag - but assigning it to the whole lgbt community? i just don't jibe with it hope this doesn't come off as offensive sksk I don't think you're being offensive at all. This is your opinion and you do have a relevant reason with it that I learned about what the black color stripe did mean in the original. It's interesting. Honestly, I didn't really understand what brown and black mean in the rainbow color either until I researched it. From what most of the articles read behind the reason does colors are presented is for this reason is because the LGBTQ community have shown in the past and in a few of their bars that they are less open to minorities. Thus using slur words to exclude these people out. An article reads, "In major cities like Philadelphia, the gay-friendly bar scene serves as a safe haven and sanctuary for members of the LGBTQ community. Yet that safety and sanctuary are not always extended to people of color, who can experience discrimination, racism, and exclusion in LGBTQ spaces." Link to article: www.yesmagazine.org/people-power/why-phillys-new-pride-flag-has-black-and-brown-stripes-20170627Understandably, it's hard to come out to your family and be open about one's sexuality, though it shows in research that minorities are less likely to come out because of their family's traditions and social aspects of it. To some degree social sciences can prove it's more acceptable to be gay and be white. It's not all saying, 'there's less colored people that are gay', but it's less acceptable to be one. Here's a few articles on it if you're interested to read on it. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5474493/en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homophobia_in_ethnic_minority_communitieswww.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2072932/I know in my personal life I've seen these statistics and studies to be true. My dance partner Oscar is Mexican and we often talked in Spanish. (Now that I think about it I did notice a lot of the other kids that were the same descent and knew he was gay refused to speak to him in his native tongue to him. They rather speak English to him) Eventually, he was encouraged to come out as gay to his family only to be kicked out and stunned away from his family. Once I found out about my ballet teacher opened her house to him. I made sure he had a ride to school with me (it was the disability bus, but he rode with me and I paid for his admission price each time) and I made certain he never went hungry. Fortunately, he doing better today. I email him whenever he not busy. He lives with his spouse in San Francisco and works in the ballet company today. My other friend, mm I call him Nintendo since we only know each other by our usernames when we play laser tag on the weekends, he black and is afraid of coming out to his family since he would be kicked out. He trying to save money, so he can live on his own. I know in my case I never came out to my family members nor would I right now. Now could I have just coincidentally met two guys that are in the same situation about coming out with their families? definitely, though sometimes it feels live you can't come out to your family and the hometown you like in because of the safety behind it. The best I can say is being safe is much more important and people who display those behaviors don't have the privilege to get to know you if they are going to act this way. No one deserves to be treated this way rather you're black, brown, or white. I would say this is more of a human right aspect to it and does not have to relate to color. Certainly, I could see where those colors, black and brown, and I could agree those colors don't have to be on the flag, though I do think those topics can be talked about with minority issues in the community and be accepted. Of course, it can always be hard to come out with your sexuality when it doesn't seem normal to other people, though it does seem it's harder for minorities to do so as stated by research and the articles presented. I do apologize if I am interrupting, but I just wanted to point out why there were those colors that emerged on the newly made flags are there and what's the reason behind it.
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Post by ✽Boop✽ on Mar 25, 2019 13:34:29 GMT -5
I'm actually from an everything-phobic hometown, and I think it would have just been better to never come out to them. Seriously. I'd try to get away ASAP if I were you. That being said, one of my best friends grew up in the same place as a girl and transitioned male in college. He's been taking T for a while now, and since he looks so much like a man, people who meet him there have no problem with him. But, he has also told me he feels like he's restricted in the way that he dresses so he can "pull it off" more for people. ...Life seems happier in the northwest, aside from antivaxers. I'm gonna move there. Oh yes, I'd definitely like to move away from this area some day. Maybe a bit more north, on a nice beach somewhere. Though there are a lot of barriers in the way of that, money and mental health being a big part of it. I 100% agree that male fashion is extremely restrictive. Especially down here, men are only allowed to wear dark muted colors like black, navy, dark green, maroon maybe. It's not just clothes, either. I lived next to this family one time who owned a car that I'd consider a pretty normal shade of blue. But once I overheard the mother of the family making fun of her husband for having a "gay car." Because it was blue. I heard from someone that moved there that Washington has very clean air
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Post by The Noble Dragon on Mar 25, 2019 16:30:01 GMT -5
I'm pan and uhhhhh nonbinary. Well either Nonbinary or Genderfluid but I think i'm leaning towards Nonbinary. I use they/them pronouns
My fiance is also Pan! We've been together for 5 years and met at the Pride Center at our college!
Honestly I'm cool with the additional stripes to the flag. If it helps more members of the LGBT community to feel included then I think that's okay.
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Post by Leapkit on Mar 25, 2019 16:45:19 GMT -5
I had a conversation about this with someone else and partially concede my last stance.
The flag for lgbt* overall should stay the same rainbow it has been but using the black/brown striped as a banner to show like "hey this pride parade/gay bar/whatever is safe for non-white queers" is a good thing for this very moment in history since violent hate crimes are still on the rise. But I would rather search for a point where those stripes or even pride flags at all never have to be used again.
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Post by ✲ριкαƒυєу✲ on Mar 25, 2019 18:10:50 GMT -5
I'm an Asexual biromantic! Took a while to figure it all out, but once I did it's been nice.
I personally don't like the race thing being added to LGBT. It's two entirely separate things
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Bisexual
will
native american cowboy
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Post by will on Mar 25, 2019 18:36:45 GMT -5
I had a conversation about this with someone else and partially concede my last stance. The flag for lgbt* overall should stay the same rainbow it has been but using the black/brown striped as a banner to show like "hey this pride parade/gay bar/whatever is safe for non-white queers" is a good thing for this very moment in history since violent hate crimes are still on the rise. But I would rather search for a point where those stripes or even pride flags at all never have to be used again. this is pretty much how i feel about it yeah
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Post by scint on Mar 25, 2019 19:04:37 GMT -5
I am a transgender panromantic asexual, and honestly the only people who actually can accept that I'm a guy are my friends both irl and on the internet and my therapists. As for coming out, let's just say that my parents think that apparently I'm too stupid to know who I am and who I love, and that the people at my school aren't too supportive despite having an "Equality Club". (Granted, I've never been to it because my parents don't want me to be "tainted") ...I come from a Christian background and yes I support LGBTQ+ and am that so it pisses me off that I can't be who I truly am at my church. Smh my youth group leader is an asshole at times, let's leave it at that and it's the main reason why I don't like going to church nowadays. So yes being LGBTQ+ and a Christian is a very big struggle in my current position. On the bright side (which isn't much atm) I do currently have a crush on this guy at my school and tbh most of my friends were surprised when I first said "I think (insert placeholder name here) is cute." Granted, I have no spine when it comes to crushes...I usually just do nothing about them and carry on with my day (that and I have no time to deal with them). I agree with Leapkit on the race thing being added to LGBTQ+. But really, they shouldn't be there in the first place, but hey, we live in a world full of incredibly sinful and horrible human beings, how can we be surprised?
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Lesbian
falconfire
currently watching/reading/playing: haikyuu, avatar: the last airbender, animal crossing new horizon
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Post by falconfire on Mar 25, 2019 21:04:54 GMT -5
somewhat recently i've figured out that i'm a lesbian...i'd known i liked girls for a long time but wasn't sure what the best word to describe that would be. after realizing that even though i sometimes find male characters, celebrities, and even strangers attractive, the thought of dating or kissing one in real life made me sick to my stomach (no offense to any men, it's just me), while the thought of dating or kissing a woman makes me jittery and kind of nervous in a good way.....i figured lesbian is best. if i change sometime that's cool too
i don't have a super strong opinion on adding the brown and black to the flag. i like the idea behind it. it's important to be intersectional and recognize the differences in how people of different groups (racial, for example) face/experience homophobia, transphobia, and other discrimination not directly tied to their race. it's like recognizing that a lesbian experiences different kind of misogyny and sexualization than a straight woman does, for instance.
less related, i wrote out a letter to my parents telling them i'm a lesbian yesterday. i'm away at college rn, and i'm going to mail it to them tomorrow. i'm really fortunate that they are relatively progressive, not homophobic or super religious or anything. so i hope it will go well and i'll be able to talk with them about it over lunch or a phone call or something. i cried a few times while writing it, because it's obviously kind of an emotionally taxing thing to do. but i think it will go ok
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Post by ✨ nissabug ✨ on Mar 26, 2019 1:05:45 GMT -5
im a lesbian, figured it out by like,,, the end of freshman year of college?? and it was hard to come to terms with i dated four dudes through middle and high school and each time the span of the relationship got shorter, although i only instigated the first break up lol and about sophomore year i admitted i kinda liked girls and said i was heteroflexible,,, then junior year i said bi,,,, and then straight up No Men Allowed
my parents were supportive of me every time i came out, as theyre very progressive and im so lucky to have them (the rest of my family not so much lol). my mom makes cute lesbian jokes and likes to point out pretty girls to me at walmart lol. my dad doesn't bring it up very often but i know he supports me no matter what. my mom also says that she figured for a long time i at least liked girls from the way i acted around them, thanks mom lol. im out to all my friends, both college and high school, and have a gay and a lesbian button on my backpack uwu,, knowing that i dated guys exclusively until now makes me feel invalid as a lesbian sometimes, but then i gotta remember that my feelings for girls in this moment are valid and true, and its the most comfortable label ive had so far
rn i have a lil crush on a girl in my gait club, i know she's a lesbian too, but i only ever got asked out by those guys so i have no experience in asking out the other party lol
also the brown and black stripes on the flag?? i get it, makes sense, because being white and gay can be a whole different experience than being black and gay, ya know, and it's important to acknowledge those differences
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Post by Brindlefern on Mar 29, 2019 12:57:38 GMT -5
Bisexual gal here. Years ago (Like 4 or 5 now?) I thought of myself to be lesbian, because my very bad experiences with my peers in my school years (Most if not all of my bullies were boys my age) made me not want to get with guys at all if those that I knew were gonna treat me that way. But as time went on and I separated myself from them for a 4 whole years thanks to homeschool guys grew more tolerable to me. By a certain point, I was pretty much in denial that I was gaining a like for guys and just assumed I was gay because bad experiences and based off that. But I figured it out soon enough. I don't wanna say "internalized blah blah blah" but I find it easier to say it was denial for me and having dealt with shitty guys.
Yet here I am now, dating a guy who's an absolute sweetheart to me, and I have a heavy pref. for dudes too in terms of attraction. (Though that tends to fluctuate from time to time, but that comes with the territory of bisexuality as a whole tbh. But I'm generally like 85-90% into guys and 10-15% into girls on a normal day) I have dated a girl who is my best friend, but that was in what I like to now call my "lesbian days". I say "is" because we're still best friends/on good terms today.
I think that was the one time I could consider my sexuality an actual phase, since I was basing it off past experiences for so long until now. Now I have no issue with calling myself bisexual, to where I'm openly out online. I do think "phases" exist in that area, but not in the way that's just offensive to those coming out and more on a "road to discovering yourself" aspect. I mean shit, I think over the years ever since I was 14 I went from deeming myself straight, to aro/ace, to just ace, to "demi", to said above assumption that I was lesbian, and lastly to Bisexual and that hasn't changed ever.
Still in the closet for the most part though in regarding family knowing about it, and I don't know if I'll ever come out. Bisexuality in of itself still has a stigma, and I fear for what my parents will say honestly. I'll probably only be 100% comfortable when I move out, but that won't be for a long while.
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Post by Moonblazer on Mar 29, 2019 13:19:25 GMT -5
It’s me.
Ya neighborhood Polyamorous Bisexual, here to say hello.
Because two or more of boys or girls is always better than one, ayo!
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Post by anxi0us on Mar 29, 2019 16:33:49 GMT -5
Uh, hi. I'm pansexual but I think I might actually be lesbian? ah, idk. Anyways, my pronouns are she/her.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2019 12:47:54 GMT -5
aw some of the stories in this thread are really nice... i'm really happy for all of you that have supportive parents and friends!
i'm genderfluid/bigender, but i usually just refer to myself as a trans guy for the sake of simplicity. i use he/him or they/them pronouns. for a really long time i've thought i was strictly gay but now i think i might just be somewhere on the pan spectrum. or maybe not! labels are kind of a mess for me so i try not to bother.
trans day of visibility is tomorrow! to everyone coming out, good luck in the coming days and years, stay strong, we're all in this together
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