C H A P T E R O N E
Noah loved Emily and he always had.
It was like some stereotypical teenage girl fantasy. A rough and brooding bad boy that had someone been tamed and softened by the girl her loved. She'd helped him get his life in order and learn that he did have a soft side. She was absolutely perfect and all he could ever ask for.
He could practically see her now. The bright blue eyes. The way her dark hair curled around her shoulders. The way her cheeks would turn a soft shade of pink and her lips would twist into a small smile when she caught him staring at her. The pale skin, so smooth and flawless. Her kind nature... she couldn't even bring herself to kill a spider. She was the kind to get any unwelcome guests onto a piece of paper and set them free.
She was too good for him and always had been.
Yet here he was, celebrating his 19th birthday on his own. He wasn't ready to forget about her, even if everyone else had moved on after the accident. He didn't want to grow up without his girl.
Sighing and running his fingers through his unruly brown hair, Noah shifted and twisted his body around to reach the middle left drawer of his dresser. He pulled it open, sitting up on the edge of his bed as he shifted through the pikes of pictures and letters that Emily had given them during the course of their loving and passionate relationship.
It didn't take long for an unopened envelope to catch his attention. How had he missed this letter? Sure, his girlfriend had written him many letters during their relationship, but Noah had treated each one specially. He wanted Emily to know he appreciated the effort she put into the letters, even if his rebel style had made him seem like the type of guy to throw poems and love letters aside.
Now, staring at the carefully folded paper in his shaking hands, her handwriting was unmistakable. The letters swirled just like hers always had and there was a smiley face in the 'o' of his name.
He quickly swallowed and opened up the letter, eyes widening when he saw that the letter was dated for yesterday...
Was this someone's idea of a sick joke?
He forced himself past the date and kept reading:
My dear Noah,
You know how much I love you. I didn't want to leave you, but I had no choice and I only hope you can forgive me. The accident... It was my fault. I'm so, so sorry. I know you may not believe it, but this is truly me... To prove it, I know that your last report card from senior year is still under your bed. And I also know that your dad is going to look under there when you leave for work. Please, Noah... Forgive me and know that I'm watching out for you. Please. I love you and I know I'll never stop loving you.
Love,
EmNoah's hands were shaking as he lowered the letter from his face.
Nobody knew where he kept his worst report cards. Only Emily after she'd learned about his hiding spot during a game of truth or dare. It was her.
His mouth was suddenly dry as he realized that some part of his girlfriend was still here. He would continue to grow up. He'd graduated high school already - something she hadn't had the chance to do. Next he'd finish up his education. He'd get a real job. Become a man. Maybe even get married and have kids one day.
She'd never get the chance for any of that. She'd forever be stuck as a 17 year old girl, but she was still here somehow.
The sudden call of his mother jerked him from the trance the letter seemed to have him in. He sighed and looked at the letter and the fallen envelope for a second longer before folding it back up and putting it in the drawer that he'd dedicated to Emily.
Some told him he should let her go, that it was stupid to hold onto a high school love for so long, but that's not what he saw. What he saw was a girl that was too good for him, but had somehow dragged Noah into her world.
He saw a girl that he wanted to marry. One that had taught him how to be a better person and how to love. She had had a limitless energy and a childlike joy for life. When Noah would complain about driving in the snow, she would talk about the beauty of the flakes or make a snow angel in his yard so he could see it from his bedroom window. When he would groan about a boring class or teacher, she would remind him of the importance of education. When his parents were out and he didn't want to make himself a dinner, she would come over and they'd do it together with music blasting and dancing in the kitchen.
He loved her and that's all he had to say.
Unfortunately he couldn't live in the dream world that the letter had brought him to. No, he needed to keep going with life. To grow up. Emily may be trying to help him, but he knew she'd never forget him if he let his own life slip away so he could mourn the girl that he'd lost. She had always wanted the best for him.
Her warning words rang in his head and he closed his eyes as he heard her voice saying the same words she'd written. He could do this. Somehow, someway, his girlfriend had contacted him from beyond the grave.
He got on his hands and knees, looking under his surprisingly clean bed until he found the somewhat crumpled up report card. Why hadn't he thrown this stupid thing away in the first place? Sighing, he put it into the water bottle holder of his backpack and quickly changed into his work uniform. He headed downstairs and out the door, ignoring his parents as they tried to speak with him.
All throughout his shift, he couldn't stop thinking about Emily or the letter he'd found that morning. In fact, it had gotten so bad that his manager had sent him home halfway through his shift, assuming he was sick. Though he needed the money, Noah didn't argue. Instead, he'd walked home and was released to see his mother's car missing. At least he'd have the house to himself for a bit. He let himself in through the front door and wandered up the steps, frowning when he saw his door open.
He'd closed it when he left.
He pushed it open and gasped when he saw his dad with the front half of his body underneath Noah's bed.... Just like Emily had warned him. "Dad!" he said, making no attempt to scare his father.
Of course, the man shot up straight, hitting his head and back on the bottom of Noah's bed. He slid out from underneath it, looking guilty at his son's crossed arms and accusing face.
"What are you doing under my bed?" he asked. He was suddenly grateful that he'd gotten rid of his report card. Even if he'd already graduated, he knew his parents still wouldn't have let him just get away with having such bad grades. They never seemed to know that Emily's death had affected his behavior.
"I, uh..." Knowing he had been caught in the act, his father just gave Noah a nod and left the bedroom. He closed the door behind him.
Glad to be alone, Noah flopped onto his bed and turned to look at the framed picture on his dresser. How long had his parents been invading his privacy like that? It hurt to think that they had so little trust in him that they snooped around his room when he was at work or school. "I love you, Em, but I need to know... What the heck is going on?"
The picture of his girlfriend - caught off guard mid laugh - didn't seem to acknowledge his question. He reached into his drawer and touched the letter dated for yesterday. Emily's handwriting was unmistakable and Noah felt his heart warm when he realized she was still keeping him out of trouble.
