|
Post by Brownie on Aug 13, 2017 1:51:58 GMT -5
[ Also feel free to post. I'm talking to myself but I don't mind having friends Just a planning page ^^ With a lot of writing, but mostly worldbuilding now
This is like, 99% likely to be humanized at some point in time because in this one case, humanizing the fig.hts actually makes so much more sense. And it adds the opportunity to add a lot more 'random character deaths' and such so the battles don't feel flimsy without real stakes. Humans also make an extremist coup like Web's be like 10x more realistic, and the fighting style has much more impact for people to use, especially against an unorganized and/or patched-together bunches of different foes (which is how Web's would be). The only problem would be the ages of the apprentices and making them seem young enough to be inexperienced but old enough to be, ya know, in the fighting force. Red would have been training for years while Night would just have been conscripted. Which makes her and Red's fight even more an issue in terms of plot, though Night would have been conscripted for a few weeks by then with heavy training so perhaps it's not so far a stretch since Night does pick up ideas rather quickly even if her muscle memory and actually doing the things takes tons of effort for her. But I do still want Red to be older than Night but younger than most and??? ISSUES.
more the idea than the actual writing. Pacing is a bit funky but hey it's the middle of the night and I just want it OUT OF MY HEAD EDIT: It's more of a real thing now. We have a summary and actual kinda fleshed out characters and a true three point plot. Post 1 - Prologue/Smokeleaf POV Post 2 - Nightpaw's POV and rest of story (chapterless, some scene fragments) Post 3- Basic character list, backstory for the Clans and other previous history Post 4 - Other details. Character sheets, plot points, world building, backstories, other things I just want to say. SPOILER HEAVY LIKE if this becomes a thing and you read those you won't be surprised by almost anything that happens. Or at least until the characters stop doing what they're supposed to and the plot changes dramatically like it's sure to do. Whatever. The rest of worldbuilding is just scattered in the posts. Which sounds confusing but that's all that's there so it's really not. Starting at the bottom of this page. There's a few shorts in there too
tl;dr Summary of sorts: There was an evil cat named Webthroat that executed a coup in FireClan in attempts to kill Ravenstar and take over. He did this by soliciting the help of neighboring ShadowClan, and together raided FireClan's camp. FireClan drove out the rebels, but sustained heavy losses and even two moons later another raid seems to be on its way. Their medicine cat attempts to ask StarClan for aid, but is rejected. Instead of coming back empty pawed, he makes up his own prophecy and deems Nightpaw the Chosen One from the omens and the one to save FireClan from doom. Nightpaw, along with some help, is forced to fill a prophecy that isn't even real without losing herself or her Clan in the process. But even while she struggles to be a hero, secrets surrounding the Webthroat, the coup, and the late Icestar start to shed light on the conflict, causing Nightpaw to question whether FireClan is really worth saving at all. ]
aka an antihero plot with a half-way unique backstory and lots of postmodern-esque war-era vibes
The Actual Thing
- - -
FireClan was dying.
Weakened by a harsh winter, it only took three cats to tear the Clan apart: Webthroat, a tom who thought he would make a good leader; Wrencall, a she-cat with a silver tongue and her heart on her shoulder; and Shellsun, a ShadowClan cat who made their plans reality. With five warriors dead, two exiled and several more whose loyalty was dubious at best, FireClan was hanging onto existence fragile as a single thread. They were weak, their borders threatened, not enough cats to keep them fed day after day after day of waiting, waiting for the next attack.
These were the thoughts that stormed through Smokeleaf's mind as he ran to the stone caverns where he could commune with StarClan. But this time there were no other medicine cats with him and this time the reason was not just a bi-moonly social gathering. He didn't stop at the twoleg den Nadia and her brother Jumper inhabited, although by the time he reached it his paws ached and his eyes drooped with the desire for rest. He glanced at it wistfully but dared not risk his passing be known to any of the other Clans, nor waste any time in the journey. Instead he pushed onwards, trusting the herbs to keep him strong throughout the night.
He pushed himself at a furious pace. For all the day and most of the night he ran. A span of running to a short break of walking a normal pace, then back again to the running as soon as he felt rested enough to proceed. The runs started long and the walks short, but as day turned to night his pace slowed to an unbearably infuriating crawl.
He completed the two day journey in just over one.
Smokeleaf stumbled down the familiar path, trusting his subconscious memory to bring him into the belly of the earth where the light faded completely into darkness. He followed the tunnel and turned the three branches to reach the cavern. Water bubbled in his ears and splashed lightly against his paws. The dark tom followed the edge of the wall to the other side where a sliver of light filtered through cracks in the wall. Wind whistled quietly as he approached. He had to jump to the first step, outlined bright with the light, but the others were within easy paw reach. He continued to scale the side of the cavern wall, slowly, carefully. His thoughts were muddled from exhaustion and he knew death in these caverns was only a missed pawstep away. At least he'd be close to StarClan if he did die here, he thought, digging deep within for reserves of energy he didn't think he had.
The staircase took him above the cavern to a little open space. A few preturbances in the rocky ceiling dripped water, landing in another puddle with a timed beat. It was brighter here: the rock was thinner and several crevasses let in filtered moonlight. The cavern floor was completely flooded with water, all besides a small rise that formed a smooth oblong island roughly near the center of the room. Although the water here was deeper, it only rose to Smokeleaf's stomach at the deepest point as he waded through. Luckily enough. He hardly had the energy to walk, let alone swim. He pulled himself out at the other end, shivering with both the chill and hunger, but took the time to lick his paws dry before settling himself near the peak of the island.
He didn't fight as sleep rushed down on him.
- - -
He fought to reach StarClan. It was like he was running in the air, trying to make his way up to the stars. But something was pushing back down and as hard as he tried he lost three steps for every one he gained. He felt a scream building inside him but he couldn't move let alone breathe or speak. "Help me!" he wanted to yell, loud enough that the stars would come shattering down around his ears as he hung trapped between the two worlds. "My Clan is dying! Please!" He leapt up higher, gaining a few more precious steps. He felt himself slipping out of the sky. His paws churned but all his forward movement had halted. He felt as if he were drowning in the air. He tried to breathe but couldn't. He reached up, claws extended. . .
And then he fell.
- - -
He woke with a start. Bright light streamed in from the cracks in the wall, glinting and shimmering off the pooled water and making his wet tracks over the island glow. He could hear the sound of birds over the soft ping of water hitting water. Smokeleaf tried to stand but his paws slipped from beneath him and he was sent tumbling off the island and into the water. He remembered the feeling of drowning from his dreams and flailed, striking his paw painfully against the stone before he managed to get them beneath him and pull himself upright. He slogged across to the staircase and picked his way carefully down, focusing on that one task so his thoughts couldn't wander. He wasn't sure he could deal with the rejection of StarClan. But of course the thoughts came anyways. He couldn't believe his plea wasn't answered. Especially when he had needed their words most, and when he had put so much on the line coming here. It was a risk. Right now his Clanmates could be dying of wounds taken in a battle he had missed, with only a hastily-trained Crystalflight and his eight moon old apprentice Flintpaw to aid them.
Ravenstar had told him that it wasn't worth four days without a medicine cat to plead StarClan for aid. She said that if StarClan had anything to say they would find him in his dreams wherever in the world he was. Smokeleaf was the one to plead her permission to leave. The Clan was dying. StarClan couldn't just stand aside and watch FireClan die out.
But they did and they were.
Smokeleaf knew then that he had made a mistake in believing that a simple journey to a mound of rocks two day's travel away would change the fact that ShadowClan was tearing his Clan apart. He had made a mistake in believing that some dead cats would have the answers to his problems. He shivered despite the bright noon sun warming his damp fur. Maybe he had learned nothing new, but that didn't mean he couldn't do anything about it.
He wished he could race back the way he came, but he was forced to hunt. Luck was on his side as he found two mice not far from where he had started. Both he and the mice were surprised when they ended up beneath his claws. He wanted to continue back the same pace he had come, but after only a short run he knew that would be an impossibility. He made a much slower time and reached the twoleg den at dusk. Again he bypassed it in preference for secrecy over comfort, opting instead to spend some of the night catching sleep under a bush. He was forced to stop once more at the edge of Clan territory. Instead of the quick route through ShadowClan --which he had risked the first time for speed-- he would have to take the long way around, one he wasn't familiar with, especially in the darkness. He spent a second night under a bush.
The second night of sleep was much more restful than the first. He had caught a wren just before he slept, and with food and rest he felt almost like himself again. He was announced before he had entered camp. Sentries stood post throughout the territory since the attacks began, drawing resources but also giving the cats in camp as certain measure of security and forewarning against foes. Or against medicine cats arriving back from a four day travel to seek guidance from the stars. He was set upon the moment he entered camp. ShadowClan raids had grown worse; the medicine cat noticed several more cats with new injuries and a few faces were missing from the crowd. Smokeleaf knew Ravenstar would want to meet with him privately to hear what had happened. He saw her approach from the dead log that was her den. He pointedly turned his back to her, instead facing the crowd of cats that had followed him this far into camp.
He had a moment's hesitation, but when he spoke the words were clear and carried not only into the clearing, but also the dens and hopefully the reaches of the forest where sentries stood watch. "Cats of FireClan, I have traveled these four suns to the place of our ancestors to commune with StarClan. They are not blind to our suffering! They have sent me back with a vision, a prophecy!" The words were sticky on his tongue. He pulled his will together and smiled through the lie, pitching his voice louder, farther. "They showed me our Clan, shrouded in shadow." He need not explain what that meant, already he saw the Clan flinching against the meaning that brought. "But then a darkness came over the sky and the shadows were dispelled. StarClan has shown us what is to be! They have given us a sign, a prophecy!" He paused as he had rehearsed. Panic made his heart beat faster and he feared he wouldn't be able to speak the next words. But he had plenty of time to think on his journey home and he had already made his choice. He looked over the Clan, his gaze settling on a small, black she-cat. Both guilt and relief warred within him: guilt for forcing a false fate upon her, relief that that burden was now not his to carry. "Nightpaw will save our Clan."
FlameClan was dying.
StarClan couldn't give them a savior, and neither could Smokeleaf.
But he had given them something more important than a savior: he had given them hope.
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 13, 2017 13:42:13 GMT -5
It was the third day after Smokeleaf returned with his prophesy and already I was sick of it. Cats I hardly knew deferred to me, asking what my opinion was on the sentry arrangement and if they really should add an extra patrol to the middle of the day? Like I knew anything about sentries geometry. But I did know some things and I was more than happy to share. "Why don't you guys stop bothering me and go hunting for a change? Windpoppy is starving to death and all you guys can think of is starting another fight," I snarled, staring down Lakewing, one of our two stand-in deputies. Ever since Speckledusk's death, he and Mistdapple took over the position of deputy together. Both were hardly more than apprentices and neither had the experience necessary for the position, but the only other cats suitable either were injured (Sunstorm), weakened by greencough that winter (Cricketfall and Winterfur) or sympathized with Webthroat and couldn't be trusted.
Lakewing was a pushover compared to his sister and backed away from me with muttered apologies and downcast eyes despite being twice my size and technically far above me in the Clan's hierarchy. Or did my position as the Chosen One put me at the top? I glanced over to the hollow log where Ravenstar often perched and saw her narrowed eyes as she watched the interaction. I would have to be blind to miss the seething hatred she shot my way, but for what I was worth I kept my eyes to hers until she was the one to look away. I didn't care how jealous or angry she was. It's not like I chose my fate after all. It had been shoved upon me to carry this fate like a dead body slung over my shoulders. But at least it had some perks: I watched as Lakewing gathered a few cats to take on the hunting patrol I recommended and was pleased to know that my mother and half-siblings still in the nursery wouldn't starve. I had exhausted myself hunting exclusively for them before I was suddenly shoved into the position of Chosen One, and while my time was now filled passing on obvious information to moon-eyed Clanmates and talking with sentries to improve morale, I no longer needed to hunt myself. I just needed to ask and cats would be falling over their paws to do it for me.
Honestly, the entire thing disgusted me.
But for once I wasn't just the smaller-than-average FireClan apprentice and so I pinned a smile on my face to avoid more interrogation as I used the bushes around the clearing and my dark fur to my advantage, circumventing most of the open space in the camp to reach the nursery by the far end. Located in the depths of a rose bush, an old groundhog warren had been transformed into a warm, safe hollow for kits and elders. The walls were brushed smooth by the many cats that had passed through and sand made the pathway soft, painstakingly brought upon leaves from the riverbed in what is now ShadowClan territory back when the Clans had first arrived at the new territories. The back of the warren had been carefully excavated to form a wide but low hollow. Most the ground was covered in soft rushes and mosses. Feathers brought specks of color to the otherwise drab space.
A squeak made my heart soar. No longer was my smile fake or forced, but easy and genuine. "Nightpaw!" Berrykit called. He pushed over his brother in an attempt to reach me first, but Maskkit was larger than Berrykit and managed to grab Berrykit's fur in his claws as he tumbled, taking both of them head over tail and leaving Jaykit to watch her two brothers tussle. I was still short enough that I didn't need to duck when I padded around small dips of nests in the warren, but I knew Windpoppy could only move at a crouch with her long-legged, willowy frame. She had risen to meet me but I shook my head and went to her. The kits had given up wrestling after discovering an old moss ball hidden between a few stones.
"They'll be out of here soon enough," Windpoppy mewed.
I touched my nose to her shoulder. "Too soon." We shared a glance, knowing that to apprentice them now wouldn't allow them to have a time of discovery and growth, and all they would learn was how to better do battle. I had known what it was like before Webthroat's rebellion threw the Clan into chaos, if only for a few short moons. And even then my apprenticeship had been avoiding any cat with a cough and struggling to find prey in snow over my head as the cold evenings had the entire Clan huddled up in the warrior's den for warmth.
The nursery was my favorite place to escape to. It held memories of when I had been young. When my mother had still been alive. And now it housed my only family left: Windpoppy and the kits.
It was only her pregnancy that spared Windpoppy, giving her access to the warm, safe nursery and away from the sick cats. Only our elders, Moonspark and Dustear were allowed inside. They hoped this would prevent them from catching the illnesses that spread throughout the Clan, and for the most part it had worked. Only Moonspark had died, too old and too weak to survive off the scant prey we brought in. The Clan suspected she had been giving most of her portion to the other two, but her death had been one of the easiest. She had walked to the riverbed and slept on its bank, letting death take her peacefully. She had often watched over the kits when the queens had to escape and I had loved the old grey she-cat like another mother. I was glad she hadn't suffered through sickness or been killed in a raid, for I had no doubts that she would have fought if ShadowClan were to attack our camp.
"How is Birchstone?"
"He hasn't visited lately?"
"Not for a few suns."
My father wasn't the most involved parent, but he had always managed to come in every few days to say hello to me and my mother. Although with the pressure the Clan was facing at the moment, I wasn't at all surprised that he hadn't had the time or energy for a friendly visit and I told Windpoppy so. She sighed but I could see she understood. We both hated how one winter could turn our whole lives upside down. "I'll tell him you asked," I offered.
"Thanks." There was a pause as we both watched the kits' antics, relaxing into each other's easy company. Blood but not blood. "You're like my daughter."
"Like Jaykit?" I joked, although I knew that wasn't what she meant.
She smiled. "You're much more mature than I was at your age too."
"Well war does that," I said sourly. I regretted the words as soon as I spoke them. I hated watching Windpoppy's smile wither into a hard frown. War did that too. Luckily --or unluckily, rather-- Berrykit chose that moment to leap for a mossball headed right for my face, catching it with to much momentum to stop. He slammed into my paws and I threw my weight to the side as I fell so I wouldn't crush the small kit. Jaykit bounded over, looking worried, while Maskkit grinned from the backlines. I had no doubt he had been the one to toss the mossball.
I shook the scraps of moss off my fur as I stood, purring. Berrykit had rolled onto his back, his paws waving helplessly in the air as he squirmed, the mossball still clamped between his claws. "I'm too old to be pushed around like that," I mewed with a laugh as I used my nose to nudge him upright. "I'll end up breaking my old bones." Jaykit looked up at me with wide eyes, either believing me or pretending to. I gave her a wink and stuck out my tongue and she fell over with a snort of laughter. Pretending. Berrykit tried to pin down his sister's waving tail, pouncing side to side but never quite reacting fast enough. After a while Maskkit decided pouncing on Berrykit to be more entertaining than watching and went to it with more energy than I thought a kit could ever have.
"Nightpaw?" Flickerpaw's voice echoed down the tunnel.
I turned to Windberry and nudged her shoulder with my muzzle. "Thanks." I didn't specify for what, and honestly I couldn't have told her what for specifically if she had asked. There was a lot in that thanks: thanks for letting me escape. Thanks for treating me like a normal cat. Thanks for always being there whenever I needed it. Windberry was more than a stepmother. She was a cat I could talk to and --while a bit awkward since she was several seasons older than I-- a best friend.
"Don't keep them waiting now," she mewed. I dipped my head as she licked me over the ear.
Besides Flickerpaw, Beepaw and Olivepaw were also waiting in the rosebush. They made a bizarre patchwork of colors: Flickerpaw's ginger-and-white coat side by side with Beepaw's eccentric calico patchwork and framed by Olivepaw's silky brown-black flank as he paced behind. "We have combat training, remember?" Olivepaw growled.
Flickerpaw pushed him aside, rolling their eyes. "Don't mind this daft fuzzball. We told him to go tag along with Redpaw and her cronies if he wanted to act like them." Olivepaw's face twisted into a snarl but he made no move to leave. I shrugged.
"I can't believe Ravenstar said at least two mock battles a week," Beepaw said as we left the rosebush. He lead the pack with Flickerpaw and I on his heels, leaving Olivepaw to slink behind, following the three of us like a shadow. I would have felt bad for him if not for the nasty jabs he threw at me for being the Chosen One day in and day out whenever I didn't have Flickerpaw and/or Beepaw around as living shields. While not siblings, Flickerpaw, Beepaw and I had quickly formed a tight bond in order to survive Redpaw, Larkpaw and Troutclaw and their collective goal to make our lives hell. Olivepaw, Larkpaw's brother, had been the free agent in the equation. He didn't particularly fit in with Redpaw's posse, but neither was he an outcast as we had been. He wasn't as cruel as Redpaw but a great deal more fiery than any of us. It left him in an awkward place, sure, but that didn't mean I forgave him for his constant sarcasm over my place in the prophecy.
At least I had friends to turn to, I suppose. Beepaw took things slowly, a few words from any cat wasn't enough to change his views. To him I was the same cat I had always been and he treated me accordingly. The prophecy meant as little to him as Dustear's ramblings when he sleepwalked. Flickerpaw knew what it was like for others to look down on them based on something they couldn't help. If anything the prophecy had brought us closer as we could truly relate to how the other was treated for the first time in our lives.
Beepaw was still talking. For a cat who thought gossip was for old she-cats he was doing a superb job of proving himself wrong --unless he was, in fact, an old she-cat and hadn't bothered to tell me so. I grinned at his bad impersonation of Cricketfall, though any attempts to mimic Cricketfall's shrill accent were doomed to failure.
It wasn't long until we reached a clearing with other cats, not full by a long shot, but every fighting paw that could be spared was present. No one wanted to stray far from camp even before Lakewing had made it official that no cat could leave camp unless in a group of three, and a minimum of six were required to venture close to any border, and eight for ShadowClan border patrols. Seeing as FireClan only could muster a standing force of two dozen, the changes only spread the Clan's warriors thinner, especially since Ravenstar mandated there would always be six guards in camp on rotation.
In any normal time, we apprentices would be exempt from most of these rules. We had little experience and, according to Ravenstar at least, had no common sense. But seeing as almost half of the fighting force were apprentices, we'd had to pull our weight on guard duty and even lead patrols. At least everyone was too frightened of another raid on the camp to shirk guard duty, and the sounds in the darkness kept every cat alert and jumpy no matter how exhausted they were. Several times guards reported seeing movement in the distance. The morning next when we grouped up to investigate, ShadowClan stench always trailed everywhere behind, clouded around scent marks on trees or in bushes. Sometimes this was coupled with the bodies of birds with their throats gouged out. The birds were always ravens. In the days following one of these nights the Clan would be on high alert. More patrols, more rotation of the guards.
So far, nothing has ever actually happened. The ShadowClan cats were like ghosts in the night. Never had we met a patrol during the day, but sometimes glimpsed their eyes during dawn or dusk patrols. Only once had a patrol been raided: three days after the initial raid when Webthroat lead Shellsun and a battle patrol into the FireClan camp and announced his intentions. Stonefox had died in that raid and Sunstorm still bore his injuries. He had nearly been disemboweled and his stomach had been crossed with deep gashes. It was by some miracle --and Smokeleaf's expertise-- that he managed to survive, though he was still recovering from blood loss and was forced to stay in camp for fear of opening the wounds up even over a moon later.
The added patrols left us tired. Every day ShadowClan lurked we were weaker. Hence the new battle training Mistdapple had started.
We all turned to look as she found a dead stump of a log to stand on and cleared her throat for attention. "You all know what this is for so I'm not going to waste my time trying to warn you how much peril we are in or how much you should hate ShadowClan for causing it." A few cats laughed, others growled. I saw Crystalflight, usually so calm, churning her claws into the ground with a snarl on her face as she looked to where the ShadowClan border would be. Flickerpaw had been watching her and our eyes met, a shared fear between us.
"We are going to strike back. No longer will FireClan cats hide in their dens at night, hoping the ShadowClan cats have enough mercy not to slaughter us all in our sleep. No longer will FireClan cats need to walk into camp so tired their tails would fall off because they had to work four patrols and two guard shifts in one day. We won't hide forever. That is why I've called you here." I was riveted to Mistdapple's speech and I sensed the others were just as enthralled. We held our breaths as she paused, her flat grey eyes seeming to glow as they peered into each of our souls, exorcising the weaknesses in each of us. "During these battle training sessions, you won't learn new battle moves. You have all proven yourselves capable warriors, and each one of you is worth five of those ShadowClan scum. But that won't be enough anymore. From now on, you'll be training to work together in quads. Four cats per quad and each will be part of a three-quad unit. Together you will train to be a limb of your unit and your quad, working seamlessly together as one.
"But enough of the talking, I want to demonstrate to you what a quad can really do in battle." Mistdapple grinned, nothing warm and fuzzy but all cold and fangs. A shiver ran down my spine and my heart raced with anticipation as Mistdapple stepped down from the stump she had used and into the crowd. Immediately a space around her cleared, like she was a pebble dropped in water and we were the ripples moving outwards. Three cats parted from the crowd and joined her: Ravenstar, Lakewing, and, to everyone's surprise, Smokeleaf. Even Lakewing looked intimidating as they stood back-to-back, facing outwards like the sides of a square. Mistdapple raised her voice to keep up her commentary, although the clearing was so silent we would have heard her if she whispered. "A trained quad can easily take on a group of cats many times their number. We're going to stage a mock battle. We," she gestured with her tail to the three cats beside her, "are a FireClan quad. Can we have some volunteers to play ShadowClan warriors?"
Immediately Crystalflight stepped up. Winterfur and Birchstone joined her, both toms seasoned warriors. Redpaw and Larkpaw didn't hesitate as they stepped up beside the much older cats, grinning to each other with their heads held high. Acornsnow, a younger warrior, entered the circle a few moments later with her mate, Badgercloud. "Excellent," Mistdapple spoke up from within her quad. "Now we don't want to do any real harm, so keep all claws sheathed please. We promise to do the same." A cat across the clearing from me gave a snort of laughter. "Your goal is to subdue us. We are going to avoid that. A paw swipe to the throat or a pummeled stomach and you're 'dead' and have to step out of the fight. Remember, no claws. We don't want someone to be carried into camp looking like Sunstorm did." She paused for a moment to make sure each of the cats understood the rules of the match, then flicked her tail and gave them permission to begin. "Whenever you think you're ready."
The seven "ShadowClan" cats held a quick conference. A few words exchanged, some gestures to one side or another. I couldn't hear much of what was said --which was the point, a plan was no good if the others knew what was going to happen. Then they began to move. They spread around the quad, surrounding them with their advantage of numbers. Redpaw and Larkpaw moved as one, while Badgercloud, the largest of the cats, made his way to Lakewing who was the smallest in the quad. Winterfur yowled and all the cats charged the quad at once, probably hoping to overwhelm them. It was a strong position the FireClan cats held, however, and my eyes were wide as I watched for the two sides to collide. . . except they didn't.
Shortly after Winterfur's call to charge, Ravenstar made a call of her own, the word drowned out beneath the crashing of paws to us on the outside, but perfectly audible to those of the quad. As it was, the four cats leapt over the heads of their opponents practically at the same time, forcing them to skid to a halt as the quad had full opportunity to rake blow onto blow with their sheathed paws into the disorganized mass of enemies. The damage it would have done with claws and unchecked blows would have been phenomenal. But even as I watched the seven "ShadowClan" cats were regrouping, forcing the quad to break off into several one-on-one or --in Mistdapple and Ravenstar's case-- two-on-one fights. Yet while the "ShadowClan" cats fought separate from each other, the quad battled as four different cats but as one group too.
"Ravenstar!" Smokeleaf called as he fought Acornsnow. Ravenstar rolled away from Birchstone's slashes and Winterfur's pounce, towards Smokeleaf's voice. She stood and twisted her front paws into Birchstone's shoulders in one movement, a dangerous move as it left her unbalanced to any counterattack. But the counterattack never came, as Smokeleaf had pushed Acornsnow to the ground with a swipe of his paw and was already tackling Birchstone, an easy target held immobile by Ravenstar's claws. Ravenstar bounded over to the recovering Acornsnow, intercepting her before she could reach the fight. She dipped her head and leapt up beneath Acornsnow's chest, sending the smaller she-cat tumbling the other direction. By then Smokeleaf had wrestled Birchstone to the ground and the tom was playing dead, having been sufficiently pummeled by Smokeleaf's hind paws before he was forced to jump off and flee towards Ravenstar as Winterfur approached. The two stood side by side, dashing in and out and around Winterfur, hardly presenting any space for his claws while landing free blows of their own.
I turned my head to the other side of the clearing where Redpaw and Larkpaw already lay motionless on the ground. Badgercloud and Crystalflight were holding their own against the two siblings, who stood back to back as they fended off the other advances. "Six!" Lakewing suddenly called. The quad jumped into action yet again, finding each other in the fight and slowly making their way to the center of the clearing yet again. The four remaining cats were more wary now as the quad fell into the defensive positioning again; Acornsnow was breathing heavily, still out of breath from when Ravenstar threw her.
What happened next looked more like a dance than a fight. The members of the quad were lithe and agile as they bounded from one place to the next, never exchanging blows with the same opponent for more than a couple seconds before rotating out and to another. Badgercloud was attacked from two sides at once, his bulk cumbersome as Ravenstar darted in on one side while Lakewing leapt onto his back. Winterfur was thrown from Smokeleaf to Mistdapple and back to Ravenstar with little warning, kicked and prodded by each of their paws. Acornsnow was kicked aside by Mistdapple as she went, right into Lakewing's waiting claws as he used her stagger to trip her onto her back. Crystalflight was the only one who seemed to be able to stand up to the changes in the environment and adapted her fighting style to counter whatever cat was before her. But all three of her allies were sitting on the ground, stunned by the way they were systematically dispatched, and the four members of the quad lined up to surround her. She snarled, forgetting her place for a moment before realizing that they had been defeated and sat without a fight.
The spectators cheered.
While winded, not one of the four cats that formed the quad had received more than what would have been surface-level wounds. All of the "ShadowClan" cats would have been dead, and that was if they hadn't broken ranks of fled when their first charge had failed. I knew the blows they received there alone would have hindered them enough so that the later fight would have been even easier than the FireClan quad had made it look. And they did make it look easy, flowing gracefully as the other cats stumbled around without a clue as to what was going on as their opponents didn't stick around for an even fight like they should have, leaving them with no easy targets. "As you can all see," Mistdapple mewed, her voice loud over the Clan's excited talking. She paused a few seconds, both to catch her breath and make her way to the tree stump. "Fighting in a quad does have some advantages." She downplayed the effectiveness of the quad on purpose, I knew, just to make their easy victory even more impact. In case any cat out there wasn't fully on board with the idea already. "And keep in mind that the scenario of this mock fight is only a worst case. In the real scope of battle, you won't have just the four members of your quad, but two other quads to rely on as well, and the odds should be slightly better than seven-on-four. We had been working on this technique every few days for a half moon now, and this is the result. And, not to be rude, but we even had a medicine cat and my brother. So I expect all of your quads to perform even better than us." That sent the crowd into talking again. I looked to Flickerpaw with wide eyes. Better than that?
"Lakewing and I have assigned you group quads based on your skills. Each quad needs cats for a specific task: a dispatcher, a caller, a fighter and a roamer. Dispatchers are the cats that finish off targets weakened by the rest of the quad, not to kill, but to defeat. The caller is the cat that adapts the quad's strategy in the middle of the fight to keep them as efficient and effective as possible. Fighters are the steady cat who can take on two or three opponents for a short period of time so that the other members of the quad can get into position, or be trusted to hold their own if the other three need to help another quad. Roamers take messages between quads to their respective units, but inside their quads are quick on their feet and can help out any cat that needs it. You'll get a better feel for it as you work with your quad and usually will find yourself filling one of the roles without thinking about it.
"Line up along the back. Then just step up when you're called and group up with your quad, I'm not calling names again if you forget who you're with so please pay attention," Mistdapple said from her perch. Flickerpaw and Beepaw were called up together along with Winterfur and Crystalflight. Larkpaw and Olivepaw were also placed in a quad together, but had the level-headed Badgercloud as well, so I didn't feel as bad for Olivepaw being stuck with his sister. The others were called up and placed into groups. All but a few. I looked across the line. Redpaw stared back at me, yellow eyes sparking.
Mistdapple jumped off the stump. "What about us?" I called to her, as she seemed fit to ignore us, or perhaps forgot about us although we both stuck out against the dark green ferns.
She turned to us and shrugged. "I thought it would be obvious. You two are working together."
"Alone?" I sounded like a desperate kit, but that's how I felt right then. I was with Redpaw without Flickerpaw or Beepaw or even Olivepaw to stand between us.
"I thought any other cat would be wasted trying to reach your level." My level of fame or Redpaw's level of cruelty? "The two of you together, however, with your fighting skills, Redpaw, and with your eye for battle, Nightpaw, could have the freedom to do what would be best instead of following the general strategies of the quads. It was Ravenstar's idea. Do you want to say we have made a mistake?"
"No," Redpaw growled. Silencing any protest I could have made. Mistdapple turned to start instructing the other quads, leaving Redpaw and I to figure out our own strategies, apparently. "Just you and me, Nightpaw," Redpaw sang, "just you and me."
- - - - - - -
I refused to appear weak. I didn't have my friends, but neither did Redpaw, and I knew my determination would be stronger than her's. Or at least I hoped it would be. "So," I started. I looked around the clearing to buy time, trying not to meet Redpaw's eyes again. I didn't think my resolve was quite that strong yet.
I looked back to find Redpaw was leaping at me, her claws inches from my face. I stood, taking the brunt of the blow in the chest as she pulled me backwards. I managed to lift my hind legs into her stomach as we rolled, pushing her off me. Pain bloomed in my shoulders as fur tore free along with her claws. She landed on her paws, skidding against the leaves. She shook my fur from her claws. "Pathetic."
"I didn't think one of my own clanmates would attack me, even if--" The words cut off as I was forced to dodge Redpaw's fangs as she crossed the distance between us in a bound. She landed and spun in one fluid movement, pushing out a hind paw to tangle with mine, unbalanced from the way I had shifted my weight. I fell and the breath rushed out of me.
Redpaw could have taken that moment to crush me. She had the weight on me, being both wider built and older. But she didn't. I wheezed until I was able to sit and saw her watching with a scowl. "Weak. Slow. Stupid." I hissed and raked my claws towards her face, seeing a flicker of surprise before she deflected my attack with a flick of her paw, spinning her side to ram her shoulder under my chin.
Or it would have if I had actually put any weight into that first blow. I ducked underneath her chest and lifted my shoulders under her stomach, taking her hind paws clear off the ground. She paddled around in the air before tossing her weight to one side, twisting free. She backed away, breathing heavily and slightly favoring her left leg. "Do you really want to do this," I hissed.
It was a statement, not a question, but Redpaw answered anyways as I suspected she would. "No, not really." She sat and licked her paw and while her head was down I knew she was watching me in the corner of her eye.
I paused, wary of some sort of trap. "Me either?"
"Of course not. You would lose."
"You don't know that."
Redpaw just looked up, giving me her full yellow gaze. I was forced to look away first. She was larger, stronger, and better than I. I may have outwitted her once, but I doubted I would be able to trick her so easily again, she would be prepared for trickery. It was only the fact that she underestimated me that I was able to do anything at all. The worst part was we both knew it. "Mistdapple put us on the team for morale, you know. I was supposed to be the free agent, she just tacked you on for the free publicity. Chosen one my tail, you have nothing, nothing, that makes you special," she stood and loomed above me, forcing me to crane my neck to follow. "I will be the one to save FireClan, so stay the hell out of my way," her fangs were brushing my muzzle and I flinched away. Then she was gone, the fern fronds waving a much more pleasant goodbye.
- - -
It was four days until Redpaw and I could work another training session into our schedules. To be perfectly honest, we could have probably asked Mistdapple to set aside time for training, but it wasn't as if I actually wanted to see her again. And from the way she was keeping me waiting, I decided she shared the mentality.
I had waited for a bit before deciding my time was better spent doing something productive. I swept away the leaves to clear part of the hollow and was now putting a few finishing touches on the map of the territories from the best of my memory. It was a bit odd thinking of the borders we worried so much about being only a few claw scratches in the dew-soaked earth. I could have scuffed away the entirety of ShadowClan's territory with a swipe of my paw.
A cluster of circles represented the ShadowClan camp, deep in the northwest corner of their territory. A single, larger circle sat in the middle of FireClan territory. I gouged out the centers of the circles to make them more visible, then started placing thinner concentric rings between our camp and the border. A rustle from the bushes behind me. Intentional. I didn't look up from my diagram, working instead on hollowing out a thicker line where the river ran close to the border. I could feel Redpaw behind me, peering over my shoulder. I had to work to keep my hackles down and focused instead on smoothing over an errant line, replacing it slightly farther from the border line, more accurate to the scale of the map. Or at least I thought so.
I placed a dot near the riverbank --where a fallen log provided easy access across-- and made more thin concentric half-moons ranging around it. "What're those for?" Redpaw pointed to the arcs, both around our camp and the river.
"Distances. How far we could travel within a fifteen minute span." I placed a few more arcs around ShadowClan's camp, radiating outwards. These were closer together than the two other sets. "I'd guess a battle patrol would be slower to advance. There'd be more cats to organize and there'd probably be at least one slower runner dragging them down, not to mention they'd have a slower response time to anything we provoke." I poked a few more holes on the edges of their camp. "Let's assume we can travel about two of those rings in a fifteen minute span if we're rushing in, but only one with stealth, half of one if we're actively being searched for. Plus the fact that we don't know the territory as well. . ." I shrugged.
Redpaw looked over my diagram a bit more, then padded over to the other side where the ShadowClan portion of the map was. She scratched in a few more creeks, rougher than my precise marks, but more information than I had. I fixed my range arcs to compensate for the delays. "We still don't know anything about the territory nearer their camp." The furthest half of the map was blank --neither I nor Redpaw had knowledge about that part of the territory. "That's really the most important part. If we coordinate something with a quad to meet someplace in one span and a ravine makes it take three." I slashed a large gash in the map, both to make a point and out of frustration.
"Well there's only one way to know what's in ShadowClan territory," Redpaw mewed, catching my eye.
"You can't possibly be suggesting we traipse on over there?"
She grinned, her eyes flashing. "It's not a suggestion. And traipsing is for losers."
* * *
I was uncomfortable being alone with Redpaw for so long, but when I insisted she lead so I could watch her, she just shrugged and leapt forward, as if that would have been the plan either way.
The smirk hadn't left her face.
I hesitated before following, but only for a heartbeat. Honestly, there was no other way to map out ShadowClan territory --it wasn't as if we could ask a border patrol to kindly let us explore after all-- and if we were going to take the fight onto their land I'd much rather know the lay of the land at least as well as the ShadowClan cats did. Though I'd make it my goal to know it better than even the cats that patrolled it daily. I wanted to know every hill, every tree, every foxhole I could get my paws on. The more places we could hide in a pinch, the better.
Redpaw hissed and jumped into a bush, but I was already in action. Her fur prickled my side as we crouched, waiting for the friendly patrol to pass. Crystalflight pushed her way through the ferns, leading a small patrol --must have been for hunting, as only three members followed instead of the mandated six for borders. I saw Beepaw's mismatched pelt at the end and pushed a paw out of the bush, tapping his side. I caught his eye before he could be frightened. "Tell her you don't feel good and meet me here," I hissed quickly. He looked confused, but jumped to catch up to the patrol.
A few moments later and he reappeared from down the trail, eyes narrowed. Redpaw and I slipped out from under the bush, shaking leaves from our fur. She was simmering, practically as much as Beepaw, but both had the sense to keep their mouths shut for the next five minutes until we could be sure the patrol was well out of earshot.
They broke the silence nearly simultaneously. "What--"
"What were you thinking." Redpaw's voice was a low hiss, silencing Beepaw. "Oh wait, you weren't thinking!" She spun in a circle, claws flared.
I turned to Beepaw with a apologetic shrug. "He has the best nose in the Clan. We need to focus and that means having someone else to watch our backs."
"What--"
"It's much harder to sneak around with three. And what if we have to split up?"
"Guys--"
"Beepaw is perfectly capable of taking care of himself."
"Um."
"What?" Redpaw and I demanded.
The small tom took a step back. "What exactly are we even doing?"
Redpaw and I glanced at each other. She rolled her eyes and sat. "Sneaking into ShadowClan territory?" I offered.
His eyes went wider, if that were possible. I pleaded to him with my face, not willing to show weakness with Redpaw present. I needed him to watch my back too, in case she tried something. "We can't do this alone." Translated: I can't do this alone with her.
Fear gave way to resignation as he sighed, nodding. Relief flooded through me and I smiled my thanks. Redpaw muttered something under her breath, but stood, not bothering to give us a second glance. "Well let's get moving. We've wasted enough time already."
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 13, 2017 14:15:48 GMT -5
[ mk so there's a good basis of what the plot and main characters would be like. Writing style subject to change. This is a lot of telling instead of showing and it's in a much longer, clumpier syntax than I usually use? I like that it's new and different but I don't know if I particularly LIKE the differences. Whatever that's besides the point. A little more information if you made it this far: This takes place in the ShadowRiver universe. There's three Clans: FireClan, ShadowClan and BlossomClan. Formed in a territory when the Original four were forced to move yet again, on this journey the Clans took over two years to move and so couldn't manage to split back apart like they had the first time. For the most part, WindClan and ThunderClan merged to form FireClan (named in honor of Firestar who is still a kit legend) while ShadowClan and RiverClan merged with the name of ShadowClan. BlossomClan were formed two seasons later with the cats upset with the other two and augmented with some interested outsiders in the area. In the beginning this caused the other two groups to look down on BlossomClan, but they were more than willing to back up their claims with claws. This story would take place a good time after that once all the Clans were settled. NOTES: Character list hence far Ravenstar - black she-cat with blue eyes. Headstrong. Competitive. Only has two lives remaining due to Webthroat's traitorness. 50 moons. (very young for a leader). Lakewing - Long-furred light grey tom with darker flecks and green eyes. Capable but has no confidence. In the joint deputy position with his sister. 24 moons. Mistdapple - Long furred light grey she-cat with white dapples and grey eyes. Stern with a powerful presence. In the joint deputy position with her brother. 24 moons. Smokeleaf - Dark grey smoke tom with amber eyes. Does what he thinks is right. Caring. Medicine cat. 78 moons. Flintpaw - Black and silver classic tabby tom with green eyes. Sickly. Also struggles with bipolar. Medicine cat apprentice. He isn't expected to live another winter. Redpaw's brother. 10 moons.
Crystalflight - white-and-ginger patched she-cat with yellow eyes. Quick to pick up on new skills, stoic. Has some training with herbs and how to treat wounds. Sunstorm's sib 65 moons. Sunstorm - light ginger tom with white paws. Craves battle, prideful. Crystalflight's sib. 65 moons. Cricketfall - Brown tabby she-cat with blue eyes. Once was a kittypet and retains an odd accent. Fiery, petty. 36 moons. Winterfur - Large white tom with yellow eyes. The oldest warrior. 94 moons. Birchstone - Tan tom with lighter tabby stripes and a white mask over his face. Nightpaw's father. 43 moons. Troutclaw - Brown tabby tom with green eyes. Part of Redpaw's posse. Made a warrior early. 16 moons. Acornsnow - Petite white tabby she-cat with green eyes. 20 moons Badgercloud - grey tom with silver paws and yellow eyes. 27 moons.
Nightpaw - Black she-cat with amber eyes. Narrator. Smokeleaf's Chosen One. 8 moons Beepaw - small calico tom with green eyes. 9 moons Flickerpaw - White agender with ginger paws. 9 moons Redpaw - Dark ginger she-cat with yellow eyes. 10 moons Larkpaw - Grey tabby she-cat with blue eyes. 12 moons. Olivepaw - Dark brown smoke tom with grey eyes. 12 moons.
Windpoppy - Black and white patched she-cat with yellow eyes. 32 moons. Nightpaw's stepmother. Maskkit - Grey tom with a white mask over his face and yellow eyes. 3 moons. Jaykit - Grey tabby she-cat with blue eyes. 3 moons. Berrykit - White tom with black patches/spots. 3 moons.
Dustear - long-furred tan tom. Deaf and going blind. Sleepwalks sometimes. 130 moons
OUTSIDE FIRECLAN
Webthroat - Black and white tuxedo tom with green eyes. Traitor to FireClan, may be hiding with ShadowClan. 52 moons. Wrencall - Cream she-cat with ginger tabby patches and blue eyes. Had a crush on Webthroat and aided his rebellion, exiled with him. 43 moons. Bramblespark - Calico she-cat with yellow eyes. Webthroat's sister, ran with him after the raid. Pebblefoot - Light grey tuxedo tom with yellow eyes. Ripplefrost(ShadowClan) brother. Helped in first raid against his own Clan.
Shellsun - Flaming ginger tom with white paws and amber eyes. ShadowClan cat who helped Webthroat. Daisyclaw - Black-and-white patched she-cat with pale green eyes. ShadowClan cat on the first raid patrol. Echosplash - Fluffy white a with blue eyes. Helped on first raid. Former kittypet. Greytail - White she-cat with grey paws and tail rings. Helped in first raid; best fighter of ShadowClan. Ripplefrost - Grey tabby tom with blue eyes. Pebblefoot's brother. Aided first raid.
Icetooth is the medicine cat for ShadowClan. White tom with ginger patches, green eyes and an underbite.
Cloudpaw is Icetooth's apprentice. Calico she-cat with blue eyes and a white patch on her forehead.
Reedsong is a long furred tan she-cat with yellow eyes and white paws. Medicine cat of BlossomClan.
DEADS (in order)
Moonspark - Silver tabby she-cat with yellow eyes. Elder. Died of starvation/greencough. (insert random one-three older warriors to greencough)
Thistlestorm - Brown tabby she-cat with white spotting and yellow eyes. Crystal/sun's sister. Died in the first raid. Heatherfall - white and black patched she-cat with green eyes. Winterfur's mate. Died in the first raid defending the nursery, was expecting kits. Sageshade - Pale grey tom with blue eyes. Larkpaw and Olivepaw's father. Died from infected wounds from the first raid. Stonefox - grey smoke tom with yellow eyes. Died from a border skirmish with ShadowClan. Tinypine - black tom with blue eyes. Died from poison of an unknown source.
More DEAD
Yewstar - Black she-cat with a few white spots. Former leader of FireClan. Died in first raid. Speckledusk - Golden she-cat with darker spotted tabby markings. Former deputy of FireClan, killed in first raid. Rosestar - Old leader of ShadowClan. Long-furred grey she-cat. Hollowberry - Brown tabby tom. Half blind. Old medicine cat of FireClan. Died a long time back to old age. Mouseleap - the former medicine cat of BlossomClan. Grey torbie she-cat with yellow eyes. Riverfang - medicine cat of FireClan before even Hollowberry. Dark grey tuxedo tom. Oakcrest - ginger she-cat with white paws. Stonefox/Tinypine's mother. Died of greencough.
Ivythorn - Dark brown classic tabby tom with ear tufts. FireClan cat that died in the first raid aiding ShadowClan. Oaktuft - Black tom with ginger ears and patches. ShadowClan cat that died in first raid.
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 14, 2017 1:41:43 GMT -5
Detailed plot and characters and all that jazz cuz I'm too lazy for gdocs rn Spoilers. duh. it does say detailed plot and all This is all about Redpaw and her character and a little bit of her plotline First thing first this whole RedxNight business. Yes it will be canon. Probably. At least some kind of awe+rage+you're totally actually not evil = lust dealio. They'll at least be a killer team. Red likes Night a lot longer than Night likes Red. Especially early, cuz Night's afraid of Red. And no, you can't say Red is a 'misunderstood' character for the first half, because she isn't. She's actually cruel and a bully. Idk how I'll tell it from her side, maybe as an explanation to Night after she goes on a zombie rampage. . . or when she admits her crush. pros and cons to each side there. But yeah, Red has a love-hate relationship with herself especially when it comes to hating on Night (and Bee and Flicker when they get in the way). It makes her feel powerful, needed. Her and Lark's relationship is pretty toxic in this sense (and she would be teasing with Trout too, but I'm headcanoning Red as complete gay so it would be tease/leading on). She enjoys being looked up upon by both her peers, and the high she gets from putting the others down makes her forget her roots, so to speak. Of course, all of her changes are not random circumstance, but by her brother's condition. I'll have to find some feline equivalent, but Flint has a terminal disease that leaves him weak most the time and close to death on bad days. Because of this he also tends to have lapses in motivation: for days he'll be working his hardest to fend of the disease (exercises for the most part) and then he'll suddenly hit a bout of pessimism about everything. redpaw often feels powerless to help her brother, whom she spent most her time with and who was the leader between the two of them when he was still stronger as a kit. She also feels guilt, as he wanted to be the warrior and she the medicine cat, but their roles were forcefully switched and she sometimes feels like she's living the life he was supposed to have, akin to survivor's guilt. For reader outlook, Redpaw is a cat who is supposed to be a regular old antagonist-for-the-sake-of-conflict in the beginning, but her story is revealed in snippets when Night sees her with her brother and the kindness she shows him, as well as with her interactions with Lark and Trout and witnessing her transformations from them to by herself and how she interacts with others alone and with her posse, slowly showing her weaker side. READER PERCEPTION: She is NOT meant to be pitied. Almost at all. That isn't her role, she isn't supposed to be a sob story when it comes out. Her choices were bad, she was under pressure, she was young, but these should not excuse her actions (especially her rampages and maybe she may end up beating up either Bee or Flicker, probs Flicker). She should be treated as a changed character reflecting on her past, NOT as a misguided one. Her explanation of her choices should reflect this. She should tell about her feelings in a way that reflects on her faults, but also doesn't use her past as an excuse for them. She should be shown confessing what she did bluntly and plainly. The confrontation should show her as recognizing herself as a character and becoming stronger because of it, and her approach to the subject should detail how much inner strength it took her to not only come to terms with her actions, but to reveal that newly found self to someone she holds dear. She should understand the possible rejection of Nightpaw, the one she loves, and that this realization causes her fear but she still stands to the truth in a 'take me or reject me based on how I honestly, truly am' sort of way. Her evolution is one of a weak character to a strong character(although it appears to be the opposite in Nightpaw's view most the time), and she should thank Nightpaw for her part in the transformation. This is what Smokeleaf was supposed to be he also has a cute mentor like omg this fluffy half-blind kitty <33 but yeah I did smokeleaf's thoughts and emotions COMPLETELY wrong in the prologue. He acted better in Nightpaw's POV. Better, still not wholly accurate, but more accurate than the prologue. Though some of the conflicting ideas when Smokeleaf is there comes from Nightpaw's commentary herself and her narration bias. She knows nothing of Smoke/Raven rivalry and they're really not obvious about it. To her they're just two role models using some epic new moves in an epic way, not two rivals trying to one-up each other as they pretend to work together. But they've always been good at concealing their mutual distaste; only a few cats really know about it. Winterfur probably. Crystal. Mayyybe Acorn if he, ya know, has a memory for once. So it's not surprising she wouldn't see it as such. Because I represented him very, very poorly. To the point that the whole prologue thing is practically meaningless. Here's the deal with Smokeleaf: he's a good cat. He really wants the best for his Clan and while he finds it difficult to respect the younger Ravenstar, who was born after he was already a medicine cat in full. She started leading very young herself, and he instantly placed himself as her council. Not for the power, but because she was a hot-headed, young cat who didn't know what she was doing and he honest-to-starclan feared she would lead the Clan to ruin. As she grew more confident she became independent of Smokeleaf's guiding paw and started doing thing on her own. While Smoke hated her for this, she never did anything rash with these powers and so he grudgingly allowed her to take the lead, but he still tends to oppose her position and dissent with her ideals (even when he agrees). Petty maybe, but he can't help but to grate upon her authority and works to make his presence a constant reminder that he, too, has power in this Clan if he wants to use it. When everything falls apart with Webthroat and the others, Smoke doesn't take it nicely. He argues with Ravenstar a lot during this time. Eventually he presses for going to the Starpool, as mentioned in the prologue. Because even how much he doesn't trust Ravenstar, his will to save his Clan and his faith in StarClan --of which is is very devoted after losing his mother and sister and seeing them at Ravenstar's ceremony; he also periodically 'speaks' with his old mentor, Hollowberry. Therefore, when Ravenstar begins to fall and he fears his Clan will die completely, he trusts that StarClan will have some answer and begs Ravenstar to let him go. Begging Ravenstar this favor and in this manner humiliates him to some extent, though he realizes that it is just something that has to be done. In the end he hardly asks for permission. She says no for three days straight, despite his 'pleas' (pleas to his ears, to anyone else they're demands) and on the fourth he just says 'screw this I'm out' and she has to assent or lose face. He really puts her in a bad spot there, and there have been tension between the two ever since. Smoke can be pushy without realizing it.
I want to write a short aside about the quad, since both Ravenstar and Smokeleaf are a part of it as seen later. How did they work together that seamlessly when they could hardly stand each other, Ravenstar thinking Smokeleaf was controlling and overstepping boundries while Smokeleaf thinks Ravenstar is an impulsive, loose cannon leading their Clan to its demise. The truth is, they didn't work together that well at all. The "demo" Mistdapple puts on is as much for Raven and Smoke as it is to show the others. Note that Raven and Smoke stand on adjacent sides of the square formation and take their duo together. This isn't because they're best chums that know each other well like the Mist/Lake combo wombo on the other side, but because they don't trust the other one to do their job and physically want to be there to fix the others' mistakes. Since both operate with this same mentality, neither does make a mistake and they work perfectly together, balancing the others' want and need to be the dominate one in the fight with their own calls. Remember Raven calls one shot and Smoke the other. Neither want to be outdone. They also fight quite well, driven by the need to show off and impress. Not the quad structure like Mist intended, but their own fighting prowess. Even Smoke, the medicine cat, trained extensively in battle. Not for this exact purpose, but so he could not only pull his weight if it came to a fight, but excel in it. For the safety of the Clan, again, his bond. (because D&D terms always work) He's been working on fighting since early apprenticehood, basically partaking both in full medicine cat duties and the combat portion of warrior's training. Who did he learn from? Hollowberry, his mentor, of course. Although another medicine cat and half-blind at that, Hollowberry shared, or, more accurately, taught Smokeleaf most of his morals and ideologies. He, too, partook in a full combat training in case the need presented itself for similar reasons to Smokeleaf. And so he passed that mentality down to his apprentice and Smokeleaf upholds that to this day, though Flintpaw, of course, wouldn't be able to partake in this custom. Hopefully his next apprentice will (because sorry Flint boy but you're not going to make it).
Okay aside aside (haha) and onto the next part of the prologue: the starClan encounter. To say the least, Smokeleaf was demolished by starclan's refusal to meet with him. This is the first time in his life he hadn't been able to commune with starclan when he came to the starpool. He has a very strong tie to starclan, and usually meets with his family members or his mentor sleeping in camp. Sometimes, of course, they wouldn't answer him there, but his calls while in camp were just social visits, not the dire need he had when he called from camp those first three nights. He felt he needed to go to the starpool where he wouldn't be refused and then bang, refused. Honestly, the whole scene of him caught in between was starclan physically (spiritually?) pushing him downwards. Any other cat wouldn't have even left their normal dreams. He has a jayfeather-esque ability for projection, and even if starclan refused to call for him or even open the doors, he would have forced himself in if they didn't actually work to push him back. As it was, he's never had starclan ignore him before and doesn't really know what to think. He tries not to dwell on it, succeeds for like, less than a second. He would hate starclan at that point, in frustration and short-time rage. And just panic that everything was for nothing if not for starclan. Kinda like the bluestar paradox but not quite to that point, just an anguished pain and fear. Of course, that doesn't stop him from going back to his Clan with a plan.
His feelings on making up a false prophecy are soooooo weakly written in the prologue, it's depressing really. He is very conflicted about making up the prophecy for a few, very important reasons: 1 - he was creating a lie in starclan's name: even however much he hated starclan in that moment, he absolutely, with ever fiber of his being, despised using starclan and his connection to them in order to deceive. 2 - it was necessary: it was the only thing he could think of to help aid the situation. He understood that the Clan wasn't dead or even dying quite yet, but hopeless. he needed to give them some hope, and Starclan could do that. 3 - Throwing Night under the bus: he didn't want to do it. Like, at all. If he thought he could get away with it, he'd make the fake prophecy about himself, but that wouldn't fly. He needed a cat that had slipped under the radar, and Night fit that bill to the letter. He had to make an impact, and elevating a respected cat would make them believe they would survive, but calling out a small cat would make it more mysterious and an underdog fight, something to root for, not to rely on. Because it's a fake prophecy, he can't say: Rely on sunstorm! and then no one does anything because they know sun could massacre all of ShadowClan and starclan said so, right? He hated putting the responsibility --or even the focus-- on such a young cat, but he couldn't think of another way in the day he had to prepare. 4 - Relief: it was out of his paws. He did what he needed to do, he wasn't stared at like he was supposed to spew starclan's wishes. He did that, and they were happy with his role.
I want the reader to really see his conflict. How he hated what he needed to do, but at the same time felt a driving force that this is a necessary evil and that hope is worth giving even if the reasons for it are a lie. He wanted to save his Clan. He knew coming back with nothing would make them lose what little morale they had left. So he did what he had to do even if he didn't like it, and he's both strong (perseverance and sacrifice) and weak (deception and throwing all the weight onto Nightpaw) because of it.
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 14, 2017 18:25:32 GMT -5
+
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 14, 2017 19:26:12 GMT -5
+ (and the plus is just for any lurkers to tell y'all there's been Added Content)
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 14, 2017 20:01:05 GMT -5
character ref list kinda there just whatever has been name dropped
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 15, 2017 16:09:05 GMT -5
+
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 15, 2017 18:59:35 GMT -5
+
fight scenes suck. Especially when they're not even real, nor does your narrator take part.
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 15, 2017 21:22:21 GMT -5
Now Polling and With Summary
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 16, 2017 9:06:40 GMT -5
day 1 polling
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 17, 2017 10:37:55 GMT -5
day 2 polling
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 17, 2017 23:41:02 GMT -5
Last day polling guys
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 18, 2017 22:19:17 GMT -5
Half hour left to vote
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 18, 2017 23:06:34 GMT -5
Polling now complete.
Thanks for none of your input lol
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 19, 2017 19:17:17 GMT -5
+
edited too because I made a critical miswording in one of the paragraphs that would have made the second half of the plot not half as meaningful
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 19, 2017 21:25:47 GMT -5
+ more fight scenes yepoooo
Though to put it into perspective, Redpaw has four moons more experience, is about double Nightpaw's size and is a brilliant natural fighter even before all that.
Nightpaw, however, while a smart fighter isn't very strong. She can read others in a fight but doesn't have the skills to actually do something about it.
So yeah Redpaw can beat her to a pulp most the time. She also does not anticipate Nightpaw standing up for herself and going on the offensive, because all their mock fights Nightpaw is always very defensive and does really need Beepaw and/or Flickerpaw to make her stand up for herself.
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 20, 2017 9:35:27 GMT -5
Random poll because why not
you'll see more of each of them. . . soon, I guess. Redpaw, Nightpaw, Flickerpaw, Beepaw and Olivepaw have been introduced. Larkpaw's been dropped in there a little while, she's like a younger, tryhard Redpaw. Flintpaw's Redpaw's sick brother. He's not all sane I guess, but he's always in pain and he's counting down the days til he dies so I guess no one would be completely normal under that stress.
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 21, 2017 20:36:01 GMT -5
+
I really wanna animate itttt but it's a fight scene lol
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 22, 2017 22:39:13 GMT -5
Operation: doom operation: pressure operation: fake (lol I almost said Lies awkward) operation: queen (kinda likin the ring)
what do you guys say it does need a code word
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 22, 2017 22:47:34 GMT -5
not. . . horrible I guess? I wanted something to do with both queens made and queens broken (in terms of leaders, in which both Red and Night our fab duo are both female) and that lead to chess. because a queen made or a queen broken could result in a loss for either side, hence checkmate ' and it does echo some of the themes both early on (in terms of red/night rivalry and Smokeleaf's literal creation of a 'queen') the middle/prestory (webthroat et le coup d'etat) and the end with Blizzard and his time to shine. So it works. which is weird of how easily I could use that as a central theme. Since most of the story is strategy and military based, even the parts that aren't are still only peices of the actual conflict. Like Red hating the world isn't because she hates the world, but a feeling of helplessness with her brother and how she overcompensates by overpowering others for self-validation and WOWZA deeps.
but srsly I could make chess puns and refs all through this that might turn out epicccccc
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 22, 2017 23:36:28 GMT -5
Redpaw details up. Beware of spoilers, I guess.
I just really needed to have a story up there for her so I don't portray her in a way I don't intend to. half of her character motive sheet is 'reader perception' where I just ramble on about how I want the reader to feel when confronting her in the different stages of her characterization. She's a character that with the wrong wording or signals at any point could completely shift how she's viewed, and I have to be very careful to keep her character the way I kind of want her (and her development/backstory) to progress and perceived as both an individual and a case study (and, of course, as a ship).
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 23, 2017 14:31:10 GMT -5
yep you heard it here first humanizing and actually making this GOOD have ideas? want to help? please do I could use it encouragement and just CRITIQUE or OPINIONS works wonders too
and who knows you may get a free copy if it becomes a book ^^
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 23, 2017 22:56:57 GMT -5
smokeleaf's prologue, backstory, and relationship with Ravenstar is in a big blob. I love Hollowberry btw if you couldn't tell. Fluffy bby <333
but yeah I did smokeleaf's thoughts and emotions COMPLETELY wrong in the prologue. He acted better in Nightpaw's POV. Better, still not wholly accurate, but more accurate than the prologue. Though some of the conflicting ideas when Smokeleaf is there comes from Nightpaw's commentary herself and her narration bias. She knows nothing of Smoke/Raven rivalry and they're really not obvious about it. To her they're just two role models using some epic new moves in an epic way, not two rivals trying to one-up each other as they pretend to work together. But they've always been good at concealing their mutual distaste; only a few cats really know about it. Winterfur probably. Crystal. Mayyybe Acorn if he, ya know, has a memory for once. So it's not surprising she wouldn't see it as such.
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 23, 2017 23:03:47 GMT -5
we are now at 10k words worldbuilding.
and at 25 poststreak of just me. Can I make it to 50 without anyone else posting? LETS SEE
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 24, 2017 6:26:01 GMT -5
I just wanted to make a note cuz I found this funny. Nearly every apprentice was genderflopped from what I had in mind the first time through:
Beepaw is a tortoiseshell. He was going to be a very, very hyper she-cat (that was kind of the direction I was going in the first dialogue by him, it's pretty apparent if you think of it that way). I honestly don't know exactly when he was made a dude but he was.
I had equal ideas for Flickerpaw as both female and male and at last I just said screw it make em a. And honestly I think that works better for them as a character and their personality.
Redpaw was going to be a namedrop and be a ginger tom named. . . Bluepaw? interesting. There was actually a mention of this Bluepaw in the first few paragraphs, and it stayed that way even after I changed the concept. It was later edited out into the Redpaw we all know now.
Ravenstar had her share of gender flexibility. Eventually I settled on making her a she-cat to draw some tighter comparison ties to Nightpaw, as while both looking almost identical, they handle things differently and I want their differences to be even more different.
I flirted with the idea of making Olivepaw a girl? If only to contrast him to his sister and show that hey, not every she-cat in this story is evil and/or insane. But it just didn't feel right so it didn't happen.
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 24, 2017 6:30:07 GMT -5
ALSO WAIT WHAT THERE'S A VOTE??? miracles do happen yo
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 24, 2017 12:04:29 GMT -5
Human names:
Nightpaw - Eve? Beepaw - Berkley Windpoppy - Gwendolyn Larkpaw - Lucy Redpaw - Jane Lakewing - Tobias Mistdapple - Rosabella (Bel) Ravenstar - ??? Flickerpaw - ??? Smokeleaf - ??? (90% sure he's just going to be referred to by last name) Flintpaw - Julian (he's also going to be far younger than Red than the cat side) Berrykit - Maxwell (youngest) Jaykit - Jaylee (middle) Maskkit - Zachary (oldest)
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 24, 2017 13:01:36 GMT -5
I'm just going to start putting updates in posts instead of edits because that's too much work lol and it's just as easy to find down here, at least for me
|
|
|
Post by Brownie on Aug 25, 2017 17:00:39 GMT -5
The world: (also autocorrect hates medieval military terms god) Instead of Clans, the series will contain a world with a few small colonies. Some of these, like the one in which our main characters live, are advanced societies. Handheld guns haven't been mass produced, but a few prototypes do exist. Heavy artillery is also in production, although is mostly limited to nautical warfare as all colonies agree wmd's are bad and at their point, artillery is their first and only wmd and so is NOT used against infantry and even cavalry. However this is a moral boundary, not a war crime, and while frowned upon can and will be used in dire need. Seige weapons and ballistae, on the other hand, are completely within the bounds as their creation was intended to break walls/defend walls. Seige weaponry have to be used in seige while ballistae are acceptable because they are wall mounted and are used for defense exclusively.
Generally, however, combat is done through the simple act of metal on metal. Stabby things like swords, sabers, spears and axes or impact weapons such as maces, hammers, and flails are common. The shield is primarily a half-wing or buckler, though odder types can sometimes be found. A special wide shield is common for those blocking archer fire. A good archer is very valuable and archer units can be scattered throughout the field or kept in the back lines depending on their range and utility. Armor can be light, heavy, or any combination of pieces, usually made of leathers and scatterings of metal. Chain is often only reserved for joints of expensive armor due to the difficulty in making quality, lightweight chain.
Battles are small scale things. Very rarely will either side field more than fifty or a hundred soldiers at a time. Quality is valued over quantity, though a quantity of quality is always better. There was a legendary 'army of three' back in the days, where three soldiers allegedly waged war and killed over two hundred foes over the course of five battles, winning the ancestral land back for their colony.
The colonies themselves are very diverse. Some are dictatorships, others monarchies. Some, like our main group, are democracies. A few are nomadic with a council-like or theological structure.
|
|