alee
regretting life
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Post by alee on Apr 1, 2017 21:14:04 GMT -5
| "
Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved."
-William Jennings
PROLOGUE
xxx
The shadows spoke to her in their low, rasping whispers; calling her name into their murky depths, luring her further into the impenetrable darkness beyond. Amber eyes cut through the curtain of gloom, and whiskers trembled as a tabby and white head lifted to taste the air. Just as she'd thought; naught a trace of prey or cat on the breeze, not even the slightest tinge of life to detect. A ripple of fear crawled down the young feline's spine, and instinct urged her to race back the way she'd come, to flee these evil woods and never, ever return.
But something kept her paws sewn to the earth. Maybe it was the jaws of her anxiety, snapping down upon her throat and locking her bones in place. Or perhaps it was the murmuring voices that tickled at her ears, tempting her even deeper into oblivion. Come closer, they cooed, and she couldn't help obeying. Yes, that's it. One paw forward. Then the other. Good girl. You're doing so well.
The further she walked, the louder the voices became until they echoed as loudly as the thundering surge of a waterfall within her ears. Fear grasped at her fur, tugged her back in the direction from which she came, but still she trekked onward. Golden eyes pierced the fog, and she glimpsed a muddy mesh of tabby fur. "Almost thereโฆ" the voice hissed, and the menace captured within its tone could not be ignored.
"Leafpool!"
A flash of tortoiseshell fur โ golden eyes retreated back into the misty haze, just as Spottedleaf emerged into the clearing.
Just like that, the spell was broken; the tight coil wrapped around her limbs released with a reverberating snap, and the tabby medicine cat let out a heaving breath of pure, unbridled relief. "Spottedleaf, you're here! I thought for sure I was a goner, but-"
"No time to talk." Her tone was unusually clipped. It was only then that Leafpool detected a trace of fear amid the she-cat's sweet scent. With a flick of her tail, she bounded back the way she'd come. "You can thank me once we're out of these wretched woods. Until then, keep your head low, and don't look into the shadows."
Leafpool's head was a whirl of confusion. A thousand questions pulsed on the tip of her tongue, but she had the sense to obey Spottedleaf's wisdom and trailed behind cautiously in the wake of her pawprints.
How had she even ended up hereโฆ? One moment she'd been by the Moonpool, and the next she'd awoken to find herself in this dark and lifeless forest. This couldn't have been StarClan; the night sky above was barely visible among knotted tangles of bony branches, and not a moonbeam or star shimmer glittered in sight. The air was fraught with ice, and the odd lonely caterwaul pierced the silence.
Finally, the trees began to thin and a foggy horizon loomed in the distance. Spottedleaf wasted no time in leaping into the swathe of mist; her tortoiseshell form was swallowed by white, and for a brief moment Leafpool feared she'd lost her. Then a soft voice leaped to her ears from the other side. "Don't be afraid! You're almost out."
Leafpool shook out her pelt, took a steadying breath, and stepped one paw into the mist. At once she was engulfed by white; she couldn't quell the fear bubbling in her chest as she continued onward, with no destination or horizon to follow, completely blind except for the faraway scents of mildew and grass.
And then she was out! The mist released her form with a gentle gasp, and she emerged into a hollow with the four towering oaks silhouetted against the sky. Fourtrees, just as she remembered it! Spottedleaf sat on the Great Rock, the reek of fear still rolling off her pelt.
"What was that place?" The question tumbled off her lips. Spottedleaf only sighed and flicked her tail in indication for the medicine cat to join her.
Leafpool scrambled up onto the Great Rock. Spottedleaf fixed her with tired golden eyes; she was as beautiful as ever, with fur a mottled brown and white, and her scent a soft wreath of daisies. Slowly Leafpool's shock melted away, replaced instead with confusion.
"Not every warrior is good, dear one. Some, you might say, are downright wretched." Spottedleaf's eyes trailed to the starry heavens above, a hint of grief alighting in her gaze. "When they die, the darkness in their heart leads them to different hunting grounds. Like the one you just saw."
Leafpool shifted uneasily, the memories of pained yowling and alluring voices still so freshly imprinted within her mind.
"We call it the Dark Forest," Spottedleaf continued, her tail sweeping up to lay comfortingly across the arch of Leafpool's back. "Only cats who've committed unspeakable crimes prowl in its shadowy depths, cursed to walk forever alone with only their memories for company."
"So why was I there?" Leafpool fixed the older medicine cat with wide, anxious eyes. Then, "โฆis it because of Crowfeather?"
Spottedleaf tensed up. It felt like eons before she finally managed a reply. "No. The truth is, Leafpool, I don't know why you were there, or why they targeted you. But you're safe now. The Dark Forest cannot reach you here."
Leafpool didn't dare ask what would happen when she woke up; would the Dark Forest hunt her now as if she were no more than a pitiful mouse? Would they haunt her sleep every night with screams and voices and golden eyes the color of molten sunlight? She so desperately wanted the reassurances of Spottedleaf, for the medicine cat to pull her close and murmur how everything would be okay. But the tortoiseshell only continued gazing up at the stars, her countenance twisted into an expression of uncertainty.
"I know I'm breaking the warrior code." Leafpool's voice was just a thin tendril of a thread. "And I'm sorry. I don't want to disappoint StarClan or anyone! Butโฆ"
She trailed off, unsure how to continue. Spottedleaf gently urged her on with a purr. "But?"
"I love Crowfeather."
Spottedleaf nodded. "I know."
With the gentleness of a mother, Spottedleaf drew Leafpool in and began to rasp a comforting tongue across her head. Leafpool sighed, melting into the warmth of her embrace, and for many minutes the two medicine cats simply basked in each other's presence. There were no apologies needed, no explanations; just the understanding sympathy of two cats who knew very well how powerful love could be.
"What do I do?" Leafpool murmured pitifully, pressing the cusp of her cheek into Spottedleaf's chest. "How can I be expected to choose between them? It's not fair."
"Leafpool. Leafpool, look at me." Slowly the tabby she-cat lifted her gaze to meet Spottedleaf's caring eyes. "You know deep in your heart what you must do. Not ThunderClan, not Cinderpelt, not even I can make this decision for you." She bent down to give Leafpool one last comforting lick. "Sometimes our destiny lies beyond what others plan for us. Don't be afraid, my dear, to meet it if you must. I will always be with you regardless. Remember thatโฆ"
And just like that, the beautiful tortoiseshell began to fade, until all that remained was her sweet scent. "Follow your heart. You know what is right."
Leafpool's amber eyes snapped open. She was by the Moonpool, its beautifully clear facet reflecting the swathe of stars above. You know what is right. Leafpool could barely quell a shiver at Spottedleaf's ominous words. I do, she realized, with an exhilarating jolt. Her encounter with the Dark Forest forgotten, Leafpool sprang to her paws and arched her back in a stretch. Follow your heart. And when she closed her eyes, picturing the pointed face of Crowfeather drifting before her mind's eye, Leafpool knew without a doubt exactly what she must do.
xxx
"What have you done?"
Yellowfang's snarl cut through the peaceful night air. Spottedleaf only twitched an ear in acknowledgment, as both Bluestar and the previous ThunderClan medicine cat crested a rise in the hollow.
"Spottedleaf," Bluestar growled, her cerulean eyes glowing with a mixture of fear and disbelief. "Is it true? Have you condemned ThunderClan to its death?"
Spottedleaf bared her teeth. "You know I would do no such thing!"
"But you've seen what's going to happen," Yellowfang hissed. The old feline stamped up to Spottedleaf until the two cats were nearly touching noses. "You know this mouse-brained decision will bring nothing but heartache and regret." Spottedleaf forced her neck fur to lie flat; despite the aggression in Yellowfang's tone, there was nothing but sadness and despair captured within her gaze. Spottedleaf guessed she was remembering Raggedstar and their callous affair that had birthed Brokentail.
Spottedleaf dipped her head respectfully to the two older she-cats and tried to keep her tone leveled as she mustered up a reply. "Leafpool has made her choice. She loves her Clan deeply, we all know that โ but she loves Crowfeather just a little bit more."
Bluestar twitched her tail anxiously. "So what now? ThunderClan will be left without a medicine cat." A dark shadow crossed her countenance. "And with every passing day, the war looms closer. Disaster will surely befall us all if this is Leafpool's choice."
"Worry not." Climbing to her paws, Spottedleaf padded to the edge of a beautiful pool. Its surface was unnaturally still and as translucent as glass. Peering into its bottomless depths, the tortoiseshell she-cat saw the familiar forms of Crowfeather and Leafpool meeting at the border. "I will not pretend as if this decision won't result in pain. Bluestar, Yellowfang, you know better than any cat what sort of consequences this will have." Yellowfang snorted contemptuously. Spottedleaf ignored her and continued on. "This single decision will cause a ripple effect to be felt through all four Clans."
"Then why did you encourage it?" Bluestar hissed.
"Because Leafpool's destiny lies beyond the lake." Before Bluestar could protest, she silenced the leader with a decisive flick of her tail. "I've seen it myself; a future of hers, far away from ThunderClan and WindClan. She will do great things; she will encounter many dangers. And she will learn. With Crowfeather alongside her."
Yellowfang couldn't quell a low rumble of a growl. "And the Three? What will become of them? Will they grow up rogues? Oblivious to their destinies?"
Spottedleaf sighed. "I do not know. That is a prophecy older than these stars. All I'm certain of is that Leafpool must leave the lake." Spottedleaf looked up from the pool, her golden eyes catching Bluestar and Yellowfang in their depths. "The future of the Clans may depend on it."
Slowly Bluestar and Yellowfang gathered around the pool, peering into its facet. In its reflection they saw Leafpool and Crowfeather, running, their tails streaming out like ribbons behind their retreating forms. "We will watch over them," Bluestar said suddenly, much to Yellowfang's surprise. "Guide them, as if they were still our own."
"And pray that one day they will return," Yellowfang rumbled, with a final consenting dip of her head.
Spottedleaf pressed a single mottled paw into the water. The ripples that spread from her touch shattered the image of Crowfeather and Leafpool running away, replacing it with a lake stained red, with cats yowling and tearing at each other's throats, and, finally, with the two star-crossed lovers far, far away, in lands that perhaps not even StarClan could reach.
"Follow your heart, Leafpool," Spottedleaf murmured, too quiet for the others to hear. "Do what you think is right. And please, stay safe."
A/N - I do apologize if my writing is a bit rusty! It's been a while since I've written anything at all. But this is an idea I've had prowling about my mind for a while now; what if Leafpool's was destiny was with Crowfeather? I'm very excited to explore this AU, and I hope you'll enjoy it too! Constructive criticism is of course always welcome, and I do urge you to review, as it always brightens an author's day!
-Alee
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Post by Owlmoon on Apr 2, 2017 17:06:54 GMT -5
May I post?  |
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alee
regretting life
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Post by alee on Apr 2, 2017 18:25:01 GMT -5
Yeah! Posting is fine  |
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Apr 2, 2017 23:48:14 GMT -5
I'd love to read this, but the text is very small. Is there a possibility of enlarging it a little?
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alee
regretting life
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Post by alee on Apr 3, 2017 0:23:41 GMT -5
Apologies for that! I did the formatting on my laptop; I've enlarged the text. |
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Apr 3, 2017 17:00:13 GMT -5
Thank you very much. That's a lot better. I'll start reading it now! |
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Post by Owlmoon on Apr 3, 2017 17:36:12 GMT -5
Wanted to say that this has a very promising start. I'm so excited to see a fellow changing warriors reality writer. One of my fan fics is about what would happen if Ivystar and Tigerstar rose to be leaders. This is going to be very interesting!  (Don't worry, I'm not evil) |
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Apr 5, 2017 1:47:58 GMT -5
Owlmoon(Owl's readers, may of course, disagree.  )As Owl said, it's great to see another AU writer! I've read most of the way through what you've written so far (and by the time you read this I should be all the way through) and I must say that your writing is lovely. You capture everyone's personalities so well and your word choice is breathtaking. I'll be hanging around to the next update for sure (and all the ones after).
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Post by Owlmoon on Apr 5, 2017 7:24:12 GMT -5
It's bookmarked.
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alee
regretting life
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Post by alee on Apr 6, 2017 22:13:18 GMT -5
thank you so much guys!! and your AU sounds very interesting, owl! i'll have to give it a read sometime  |
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Apr 6, 2017 22:20:04 GMT -5
Yes, this story is really awesome and I'm really looking forward to reading more. |
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alee
regretting life
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Post by alee on Apr 6, 2017 22:24:19 GMT -5
| "
Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved."
-William Jennings
ALLIEGANCES
xxx
LONERS โ
Leafpool โ tabby and white she-cat with amber eyes; formally the medicine cat of ThunderClan
Crowfeather โ smoky gray tom; formally a warrior of WindClan
Oliver โ fluffy white tomcat
Rosie โ pretty tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes
Sunny โ small, pale golden tabby she-cat
Hoot โ old tabby tom who lives in an abandoned twoleg nest
ROGUES โ
Fang โ gray and white tomcat with green eyes
Soot โ black tom
Whisper โblack she-cat
Haunt โ dark gray she-cat
Ghost โ silver tom
Cooper โ black and white tom
KITTYPETS โ
Andre โ bulky blue-grey tom with green eyes; a thick accent
Amun โ lanky hairless tomcat, often donned in strange twoleg furs
Mocha โ thick furred beige tom with darker points; blue eyes
Missy โ beautiful dappled golden she-cat
Simba โ white tom with flame points; unusual blue eyes
CHAPTER O N E
Darkness. It closed in on her tabby form, fingers of murky shadow squeezing at her limbs and dragging her deeper into a pit of bottomless gloom. She was falling, falling, her paws outstretched towards a sky she could not see. Her lips twisted around a soundless cry for help, but nobody answered. For the first time in her life, Leafpool felt well and truly alone.
"They've abandoned you, medicine cat." The voice cracked through the silence like a whip. "Where are your stars when you need them most? Where are your ancestors when you call their names?"
Nowhere. A thousand voices bubbled up from the very depths of the darkness, closing in on Leafpool from all sides. She felt suffocated, as though she were fighting the shifting tides of an unyielding current, and as much as she twisted or turned or fought for breath, death loomed imminently. Abandoned. Alone. Clanless. Forgotten. The voices melted into each other until they seemed to form one disembodied, thrumming screech; StarClan can't save you now, Leafpool, they whispered; Leafpool, fighting for breath as she sunk lower and lower into the pit, finally let herself believe them.
xxx xxx
"Leafpool? Leafpool!"
It was the jabbing prod of a paw that startled Leafpool awake. Her paws scrabbled for a foothold and her eyes snapped wide open, expecting to see the shadowy owner of the voice that haunted her sleep. The former medicine cat was about to unleash a rattling hiss of warning - she might've been trained in herbs and healing, but she could still put up a formidable fight - when a different, much more welcomed voice finally reached her ears. "Leafpool! What in StarClan's name is wrong with you?"
At once the fur around her nape settled to lie flat. Heat rose blinding hot to the cusps of her cheeks, as the lanky form of Crowfeather finally blurred into clarity within her vision. He stood as a dark figure silhouetted against the dying dawn light of morn, his sharp features furrowed in concern. Leafpool gave her chest an embarrassed few licks, before shaking the remnants of moss from her pelt. "Sorry. Did I wake you?"
Crowfeather shook his head. "No. I was just on watch." He hesitated for a brief moment, before meowing, "bad sleep?"
Even now, fully awake and basking in the warm slants of the sunshine above, Leafpool could still feel the cold claws of darkness staining the skin beneath her fur. Her bones felt chilled to the marrow and her head thrummed with the ominous snarl of the disembodied voice; abandoned, forgotten, clanless. StarClan has left you, medicine cat.
Crowfeather didn't once shift his gaze from her pelt, his wide eyes shining with just a hint of worry. Quietly Leafpool couldn't help thinking, you don't know the half of it.
She kept the sentiment to herself, however.
"Just a dream. But I'm fine - honestly." Before she could give him a chance to reply, she brushed past his lanky form and swept a reassuring tongue over his flank. "Now c'mon, mopey. Are we gonna sit around all day or actually do some hunting? I'm starving!" As if on cue her stomach gave a loud rumble of agreement.
If there was one thing Leafpool knew about Crowfeather, it was his insatiable ego. The tomcat puffed out his chest at her words and gave her an affectionate flick on the shoulder, the worry in his eyes melting into a glinting shard of humor. "Well I can't ignore that now, can I? Hold tight! I'll catch us a rabbit before you can say mouse tail!"
"Mouse-tail!" Leafpool called after him in amusement, as the tomcat raced off in his hunt for prey. He disappeared behind a hawthorn bush - there was a rustle, a pounding of paws, a screech that tapered off into nothingness - and the warrior emerged not a moment later with a rabbit seized tightly between his jaws. He dropped the fresh kill on the earth before her.
"Well, close enough," he purred. The two cats settled down side by side to eat.
As Leafpool savored the rich and musky odor of her prey, she couldn't stop her mind from whirling back to memories of ThunderClan. How had they taken to her disappearance? Were they worried? Relieved? she suddenly thought, with a small twinge of bitterness. Cinderpelt would've told them by now of her illicit affair with a WindClan warrior; maybe they were glad that such a traitorous clan mate had run away. After all, forbidden relationships were a crime punishable by exile. Her heartbeat quickened as she imagined Firestar's hurt and disappointed face.
"You miss them, don't you?" Crowfeather's murmur sounded close to her ear; with a soft sigh Leafpool leaned into his shoulder and buried her muzzle into his fur. Not even Crowfeather's soothing presence could distract her from the fact that she had betrayed ThunderClan, and everything she'd been raised to believe in. She desperately longed for Spottedleaf's sweet scent to tingle at her nostrils, to hear that lyrical voice assure her on how she'd made the right choice, done the right thing. But three sunrises had passed since she and Crowfeather had run away together; since then, StarClan had been deathly quiet.
The two mates finished their prey in forlorn silence. When at last they had eaten their fill, Crowfeather sprung to his paws. "Right. We can't stay here forever. It's too close to the lake." Leafpool nodded her agreement. If by some chance the two Clans sent patrols after the runaway lovers - or, even more predictably, if Squirrelfight took it upon herself to track down her sister - then there was only a matter of time before they were caught. "I saw a valley when I was out hunting yesterday. I haven't explored much of it yet, but I couldn't see a twoleg for miles around. Perhaps that's where we should go."
Leafpool didn't miss the small, uncertain glint alighting in Crowfeather's frosty blue gaze. It's happening, she realized, with a rippling shudder. They would be leaving the lake behind for good, venturing into territory untrodden by any Clancat. The thought was both exhilarating, and frightening. ThunderClan, WindClan, RiverClan, ShadowClan...they'll be so far away soon. Oh, Squirrelflight, my beloved sister; if only I had said goodbye to you before I'd left.
"Leafpoolโฆ" Crowfeather's voice jolted the she-cat from her reverie. "Are you sure this is what you want?"
Leafpool hated how at first, she could not answer him. It was a good question - did she want this future? Was this what her heart really yearned for, even more so than the calling of a medicine cat? Crowfeather shuffled his paws anxiously before her, as if afraid of her answer. His smoky gray fur was ruffled and unkempt, thanks to several days of desperate running to escape the lake territory, and gloomy shadows hugged the fur beneath his eyes. He's scared, she realized, with a small skip of her heart. He misses WindClan as much as I miss ThunderClan.
On instinct, she brushed her cheek against his own. "I miss them, yes," she meowed softly. "I miss them more than you'll ever know. Firestar, Sandstorm, Squirrelflight...And Cinderpelt, oh how I miss her especially." Crowfeather flinched at the brutal honesty of her words. "But my future lies with you, Crowfeather." She pulled back to look him deep in his eyes. "I wouldn't have run away with you if I wasn't completely certain of that fact."
"Leafpoolโฆ" The tom let out a tired sigh, his tongue rasping warmly against her ear. "I'm so glad. I feel the same way about you." A purr bubbled up in his throat, the sound of its rumbling lyric like music to Leafpool's ears. "I miss WindClan too. But I'd miss you more, Leafpool, if we had to stay apart by the lake. I want you by my side, for better or worse."
It was sunhigh by the time they had reached the edge of the forest. Leafpool couldn't resist looking over her shoulder back the way they had come; though the lake was far from view by now, its tangy scent still lay in traces upon the breeze. This was it; they were finally leaving the Clans behind for good. Thoughts of Squirrelflight and Cinderpelt stirred at her mind; will Squirrelflight manage Brambleclaw okay? And oh dear StarClan, what about Brightheart? I hope she makes a fantastic medicine cat apprentice; Cinderpelt deserves it. Her paws itched for one last glimpse of ThunderClan Camp, for one chance at a goodbye with those she considered her family.
But there was no going back now. She'd made her choice. And though the guilt of her decision pooled deep in her stomach, when Leafpool looked into Crowfeather's eyes she found it was a choice she just could not regret.
xxx
Crowfeather's spirits seemed to have lifted by the time they were navigating the valley. It must've reminded him of the WindClan moors; he bounded ahead with as much energy as a fleeing rabbit, and his tail swung high in hearty cheer. Even Leafpool couldn't resist the infectious nature of his unusually good mood; she caught up to him and matched his stride paw for paw, sharing his throaty rumble of a purr.
"I'll find us a good place to live," he meowed, sweeping his tail comfortingly across the small of her back. "Maybe a moor with a few trees, a river, lots of prey...We'll make our den in a sheltered copse, the perfect place to raise kits, and -"
"Kits?" She'd been listening to his idealistic rambling quietly, but the sudden promise of children dragged her back into reality. Crowfeather's tail drooped at the look of shock shining in Leafpool's eyes.
"Well - only if you want any that is," he meowed gruffly, sounding more like the Crowfeather she'd met over a moon ago. "I don't want kits - or, well, I do, but -" his gruffness melted into embarrassment, as he gave his chest a few hurried licks. Leafpool erupted into a purr of amusement.
Crowfeather's ears slunk back against his head. "What? What's so funny?"
"Of course I want kits with you, mouse-brain." It felt like such a weight off her back to admit these desires to Crowfeather; she'd dreamed many a night of raising a family with him by her side, and now, without being bound by the Warrior Code, they finally could. She brushed her whiskers fondly against his flank, her tail twining comfortably with his. Crowfeather let out an audible sigh of relief.
"Someday," he promised warmly; Leafpool nodded, a soft smile painted upon her lips.
Their tender moment was broken by a vicious snarl.
Crowfeather lurched back, the fur around his nape fluffing up. Leafpool bit back a terrified gasp. There before them, with eyes of beady black and fur stained a russet brown, were two slinking, snarling foxes.
A/N - And new chapter, woo!
-Alee
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Post by Owlmoon on Apr 7, 2017 20:08:58 GMT -5
Ooh! Drama!
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Post by perfectlypinkโฅ on Apr 8, 2017 9:28:34 GMT -5
I will definitely be reading this later!
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Post by Owlmoon on Apr 8, 2017 9:56:18 GMT -5
I will definitely be reading this later! It is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good! Not many people here do things like remaking a plot in the story. |
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