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Post by mintedstar/fur on Jul 18, 2018 20:24:44 GMT -5
Glad to hear!
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Post by phantomstar57 on Jul 19, 2018 10:40:21 GMT -5
Thanks :-) Hope it stays that way for a long while .
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Jul 20, 2018 14:41:12 GMT -5
Agreed! Keep healthy!
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Post by phantomstar57 on Jul 26, 2018 13:23:57 GMT -5
TEST TEST of the email Notification system.
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Post by phantomstar57 on Jul 26, 2018 13:37:31 GMT -5
TEST TEST of the email Notification system. |
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Jul 27, 2018 0:38:58 GMT -5
Good luck!
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Post by phantomstar57 on Jul 27, 2018 8:56:49 GMT -5
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Post by Spottail on Aug 14, 2018 22:41:08 GMT -5
I voted
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Aug 15, 2018 10:14:52 GMT -5
phantomstar57 - One review! If you need any clarifications, please ask c: New Blood is a heart-warming family saga with a unique spin on Warriors. I really liked the exploration of the Maine Coons’ effect on the Clans, and learning more about the breed. Kyestorm is a well rounded, likable main character, and the supporting characters are well drawn and accurate to canon. The sedate pace works here, allowing space for Kyestorm’s personal journey, with numerous fight scenes to keep the excitement going. However, the dialogue can feel over formal or long winded, and could be made more natural. I would recommend New Blood to anyone who likes canon fic and a focus on family, friendship and unity. (Since you specifically asked about typos - the main ones I spotted were speech marks missing at the beginning of paragraphs. As well, in chapter 12 you put “New apprentice Twigpaw, sat beside Spiderleg, her eyes straying to Gentleoak. Twigpaw sat beside her mentor, her eyes straying to Gentleoak.")
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Post by phantomstar57 on Aug 15, 2018 12:33:19 GMT -5
phantomstar57 - One review! If you need any clarifications, please ask c: New Blood is a heart-warming family saga with a unique spin on Warriors. I really liked the exploration of the Maine Coons’ effect on the Clans, and learning more about the breed. Kyestorm is a well rounded, likable main character, and the supporting characters are well drawn and accurate to canon. The sedate pace works here, allowing space for Kyestorm’s personal journey, with numerous fight scenes to keep the excitement going. However, the dialogue can feel over formal or long winded, and could be made more natural. I would recommend New Blood to anyone who likes canon fic and a focus on family, friendship and unity. (Since you specifically asked about typos - the main ones I spotted were speech marks missing at the beginning of paragraphs. As well, in chapter 12 you put “New apprentice Twigpaw, sat beside Spiderleg, her eyes straying to Gentleoak. Twigpaw sat beside her mentor, her eyes straying to Gentleoak.")
I think the formal sounding dialogue comes from decades of writing scifi with characters that think its baby talk to use contractions! LOL I have tried to tone that down, but it probably needs more work. I may go thru it and see if I can fix that.
And yikes LOL that is some typo. Will go fix that one asap. I saw a few in the last two Chapters I need to fix, using Sparkpelt instead of Sparkfire.. . I think I could spend days going thu and still find booboos.-cat like me can benefit from feedback! Thank you for taking the time to read and critique. Its much appreciated. Even an old she-cat like me can learn from feedback.
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Aug 21, 2018 5:17:51 GMT -5
No problem! And yes, I can see how that'd bleed through. It's more noticeable in the earlier chapters, if that helps. I was a bit confused  But seriously, it was fun to do! (I voted c;) |
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Post by phantomstar57 on Aug 21, 2018 9:33:07 GMT -5
No problem! And yes, I can see how that'd bleed through. It's more noticeable in the earlier chapters, if that helps. I was a bit confused But seriously, it was fun to do! (I voted c;) |
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Post by phantomstar57 on Aug 21, 2018 9:37:37 GMT -5
No problem! And yes, I can see how that'd bleed through. It's more noticeable in the earlier chapters, if that helps. I was a bit confused But seriously, it was fun to do! (I voted c;) |
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Aug 21, 2018 11:36:23 GMT -5
Gah no I was just confused by seeing the same sentence twice, like i said in the earlier post.
Can I be awkward and have two 'other'? Briarlight convincing Demonstone to eat near the beginning, and the epilogue.
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Post by phantomstar57 on Aug 21, 2018 14:02:57 GMT -5
Gah no I was just confused by seeing the same sentence twice, like i said in the earlier post. Can I be awkward and have two 'other'? Briarlight convincing Demonstone to eat near the beginning, and the epilogue.
Sure - everyone gets 3 choices and if you have scenes you liked better than any I posted, and post them here as you did in the comments! |
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Post by Spottail on Aug 21, 2018 14:47:53 GMT -5
I made my 3 choices
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Post by phantomstar57 on Aug 22, 2018 10:59:13 GMT -5
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Post by Spottail on Aug 22, 2018 12:01:20 GMT -5
Y W
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Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 10, 2018 10:43:20 GMT -5
Bump
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Sept 11, 2018 3:02:28 GMT -5
How are you doing?
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Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 11, 2018 13:03:31 GMT -5
Hanging in there. A lot of medical check ups this week. Gyno, eyes and other annual tests for us older ladies. But finding some time to read. Started reading The Lighthouse. Its different than what I normally read, and I'm not a horror fan, but its good. She did a good job and I will keep reading!
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Sept 11, 2018 23:53:26 GMT -5
Hanging in there. A lot of medical check ups this week. Gyno, eyes and other annual tests for us older ladies. But finding some time to read. Started reading The Lighthouse. Its different than what I normally read, and I'm not a horror fan, but its good. She did a good job and I will keep reading! Glad to hear you're hanging in there and taking care of yourself! Reading time is good. I've been taking books on the bus to and from school, mostly. Been rereading Night Watch. Yeah, I normally don't read spoofs at all but she did a good job. It's something to follow, that's for sure. Main principle is don't get attached to anyone (but you do it anyway). |
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Post by Spottail on Sept 12, 2018 13:02:21 GMT -5
That's very true Minted
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Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 12, 2018 15:03:19 GMT -5
Hanging in there. A lot of medical check ups this week. Gyno, eyes and other annual tests for us older ladies. But finding some time to read. Started reading The Lighthouse. Its different than what I normally read, and I'm not a horror fan, but its good. She did a good job and I will keep reading! Glad to hear you're hanging in there and taking care of yourself! Reading time is good. I've been taking books on the bus to and from school, mostly. Been rereading Night Watch. Yeah, I normally don't read spoofs at all but she did a good job. It's something to follow, that's for sure. Main principle is don't get attached to anyone (but you do it anyway).
And I did have fun altering the history by having Phantomstrike kill Darktail, but that meant all the warriors he killed eventually died in the big battle. It was hard killing them off but some did deserve a better death. And poor Purdty. I hated how they just let him whimper away in the books. Same with Spiderleg. Nope. Gave those two a Warrior's death. Haven't had a lot of feedback on that at all so have no idea how anyone liked it or didn't. Sometimes I think you two are the only ones that read this. But it does also seem like activity here on the Boards is rather slow lately. |
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Sept 12, 2018 18:55:27 GMT -5
Glad to hear you're hanging in there and taking care of yourself! Reading time is good. I've been taking books on the bus to and from school, mostly. Been rereading Night Watch. Yeah, I normally don't read spoofs at all but she did a good job. It's something to follow, that's for sure. Main principle is don't get attached to anyone (but you do it anyway).
And I did have fun altering the history by having Phantomstrike kill Darktail, but that meant all the warriors he killed eventually died in the big battle. It was hard killing them off but some did deserve a better death. And poor Purdty. I hated how they just let him whimper away in the books. Same with Spiderleg. Nope. Gave those two a Warrior's death. Haven't had a lot of feedback on that at all so have no idea how anyone liked it or didn't. Sometimes I think you two are the only ones that read this. But it does also seem like activity here on the Boards is rather slow lately.I tend to lean toward a middle ground. Some characters' deaths are needed for the plot. Heh heh and yeah, I get the fixed in time thing (and I do like Dr. Who) and I like how you mange to lead everything back into that line. It's pretty interesting. As for that, I really much preferred them getting a proper warrior's death. They were a lot more fleshed out characters in New Blood than we see in the main series and I like the fact that they got another voice here. So them getting a strong death was much better than how they died in the main series. Yes, the WFF is a bit slow these days. Not completely sure why but I'm always hopeful it will pick up. And I don't think we're the only ones because I know a lot of people mention this is a good story in other fics I'm on. That's me assuming they've actually read it to know of course. Personally, every time we get inactive like this I want to start some sort of WFF activity that can at least stir up the locals if nothing else. That might be fun if we can get some interest and think up something. |
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Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 13, 2018 15:38:33 GMT -5
That is a good idea. Sort of like Shadow's Curse marathon event. I have to try and think of something that would garner interest. But at least today with our modem issues I was able to work on the new NEW BLOOD fic.
I guess if folks are talking about NEW BLOOD elsewhere I should be happy right?
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Sept 14, 2018 19:52:01 GMT -5
They're talking. I know that at least. And yes, thinking about something like that is interesting. Usually events always garner interest. Something that hasn't either been done in a while or something completely new. Beach Bash, Tuesday's Challenges, Shadow's Curse Marathon, SweetShine's elimination contest - even my Newspaper did a bit to catch interest. They're all things that have gotten activity to pick up, from old and new members. Each had their own little twist. So now I've been trying to think of a new way to get attention. Part of me is looking in the direction of the Fan Clans. Because that's often where we get a few new people from. I've been curious for a bit if some sort of large activity could cross our two boards together. But I'm still think on it. Thinking about what can get us all writing and looking at other people's writing. Just got to get the ideas flowing. |
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Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 15, 2018 11:05:25 GMT -5
They're talking. I know that at least. And yes, thinking about something like that is interesting. Usually events always garner interest. Something that hasn't either been done in a while or something completely new. Beach Bash, Tuesday's Challenges, Shadow's Curse Marathon, SweetShine's elimination contest - even my Newspaper did a bit to catch interest. They're all things that have gotten activity to pick up, from old and new members. Each had their own little twist. So now I've been trying to think of a new way to get attention. Part of me is looking in the direction of the Fan Clans. Because that's often where we get a few new people from. I've been curious for a bit if some sort of large activity could cross our two boards together. But I'm still think on it. Thinking about what can get us all writing and looking at other people's writing. Just got to get the ideas flowing. |
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But seriously, it was fun to do! 