ϟ ThunderClan ϟ The Fierce and Caring ϟ |☾ ☼ ϟ ≈ ☁| ϟ

"But he can." Yarrowcloud whispered, knowing he must have sounded like a frazzled old cat, even next to one of the only cats in the clan older than him. He closed his eyes, comforted by Lightningstar's touch to his ear, before the nerves set back in. He cast his half-blind gaze on his leader. "Surely, I realize now that he could have easily been whispering in Shadeclaw's ears. Shadeclaw changed so suddenly, became so hateful of you, in the same way Wrenflight did when you were chosen as Duskstar's deputy, and not him. He would stoop low enough to use my kin to hurt me, hurt you, do anything to hurt us because he never stops."

Yarrowcloud sighed softly. "I pray that Silentflare saw it a long time ago when he was a young apprentice, and tried moons later to recreate it, but... I just..." He trailed off, ears falling. "I love Silentflare so much. I have since the day he was born, and I know that Wrenflight took joy in influencing Silentflare to never want anything to do with me. It's the deepest pain I've ever felt, deeper than the scars and the insults and the hate he had." He felt his voice tremble, angry, yet moreso deeply pained. "Why? What did I do? Even now, I still don't know what I did to make him not want me." 

Yarrowcloud quieted for a moment, claws slipping out to dig into the ground. I have one last fight in me. He thought to himself. I'm going to make it count. He knew he needed to get back to camp. He needed to speak with Peachdapple... needed to see Shadowblossom, and pray that they would understand what he was going to do. For Silentflare, he would do it. He would do it. 

“It was successful.” Frostmoon reported quickly, though she reminded herself not to act like a stumbling kit. After all, Ghostscreech was asking as a deputy. “Drizzlepaw was a little shy, but the rest managed with no issues.”

“You did nothing wrong.” Scarletpaw nodded firmly. “He’s just probably mad that he can’t perform that move anymore with only three good legs.” She huffed with a mean scowl, before she reigned herself in with a twinge of guilt, knowing she was letting her anger speak and saying harsh things. Truthfully, she had never seen Yarrowcloud that upset, and it had confused her. She shook her head. “Forget about it. You totally impressed alot of us, I promise. It was so cool, what you did!”

“Now I can finally show you how much I’ve been practicing!” Flurrypaw boasted to Blizzardstorm, excited to show off what his mentor had taught him.

“What if I get them right on the first try? Can I get my Warrior name early if I do the best?” Flurrypaw offered, knowing good and well that he still had many moons before he could earn his name. Drizzlepaw shook her head gently at her brother’s antics, nervous to do any fighting moves with so many cats watching.

Sunthroat gave a nod, “I’ll let you two teach the others. I’m going to take Pebblepaw off to the side and show him some beginning moves.” He said, motioning for the new apprentice to follow after him.

Willowsong glanced at Frostmoon with a frown, expecting the other she-cat to answer. After a beat of awkward silence she let out a cough, "Um, we focused on their tracking skills and perfecting their crouch. We split off in groups to try and keep the amount of accidental snapped twigs to a minimum." she joked, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere.

Stumppaw narrowed her eyes as she looked between the deputy and the two she-cats. "What's wrong with these weirdos." she murmured under her breath.

Blizzardstorm snorted, but his face betrayed his amusement, "If you can pass a whole warrior assessment right now, maybe. But I'd have a big case to plead to Lightningstar." He turned to Silentflare, nodding to the other tom. "I led the last session, would you like to take over for this one?"

“…Then he hated you too, for the same reasons.” Yarrowcloud murmured, as though something had finally clicked in his mind. Suddenly, it all made sense. Shadeclaw, and Silentflare, why he had been so furious after Duskstar had made her choice. Yarrowcloud breathed softly, eyes slowly widening.

“I am the reason that you could even become a deputy, that Duskstar could even choose you as an option. Had I not been your apprentice, you would not have been chosen the right moment you needed to be… How could I have not seen it?” He breathed. “That must be it. That has to be it, it has to be, because he must have thought that his mentor would have picked him to lead after her. And yet… Duskstar chose you. He hates us for it. He turned Silentflare against me. He turned Shadeclaw against you-“

Yarrowcloud cut off, feeling an even stronger resolve grow in him. Wrenflight would continue until he was stopped, and Yarrowcloud refused to see Lightningstar or Thunderclan be hurt any longer. He looked at his mentor.

“It’s clear to me now… If we’re lucky, this is as far as his reach goes. But… Lightningstar, we must keep a close eye on our kin, both of us… But I feel it, in me, that soon he can be driven back.” He swallowed, now exhausted by what he was going to do. “I think we should… should go back to camp now. I think sleep will help me. And Lightningstar, I… thank you. For everything.” It was simple, but really all he could encapsulate for how much gratitude he could give, one last time.

Yarrowcloud gave his best smile, looking at Lightningstar for a long and agonizing moment, before he forced himself to look away, and begin hobbling back towards the camp. He needed to see Shadowblossom… but above all, he needed to speak with Peachdapple. If anyone could help him end this, it was her. And he knew that she still had the drive of a Warrior, to keep a secret long enough to make sure nobody else could be hurt.

He could eat a mouse, one last time. Watch the sun set, laugh at the kits in the nursery. Everything that had brought him so much happiness for all these moons. Could hope that one day, Shadowblossom would know why he had to do this. That Darktail and Featherfoot, and Bloom, wherever she was, knew how much he loved them, and how much he would continue to love them. He moved a bit faster, invigorated by a renewed energy.

Shadowblossom exited the elder’s den, shaking out her fur. A purr rumbling from her as she spotted Yarrowcloud. She met her mate halfway, brushing her muzzle against his. “How was the training session? I found some nice feathers while I was on patrol, I put them in your nest for you.”

Shadowblossom led them to a shady spot at the edge of camp, settling down close beside him. “I love you too. More than I could ever say with words.” Something flickered within her, fear creeping up as she took in her mate’s face. “Are you okay Yarrowcloud?”

Shadowblossom was silent for a moment, mouth opening and closing several times before she spoke, “I can’t lie to you, you’re scaring me Yarrowcloud. You sound like you’re saying goodbye.” Her voice shook as she spoke, her heart ripping in two. Her heart beat for him and him only, who was she without him? She wasn’t sure she knew that cat anymore.

*clones Hollowpaw*)

Hollowpaw turned her head sharply at Silentflare’s words, her tail still flicking in annoyance. Just because her mentor had actually stood up for her when Yarrowcloud had been yelling at her, didn’t mean she wasn’t still irritated with him, “Can’t it wait until after the training session?” She asked, not wanting to be left behind. Either way, she still followed after Silentflare.

Yarrowcloud felt his eyes sting at the raw emotion he felt. After being weakened for so long, he had missed his days as a young Warrior, side by side with her, exploring and growing and loving eachother, alongside all of their friends. He didn’t want to leave Shadowblossom by herself, but he refused to let his father hurt her next. He leaned close to her and breathed softly.

“If you were selfish with me, then I was a glutton. I would have kept you at my side from the day we fought Adderclan together, and I saw the same pain in you that I had in me. I…” He choked. “I want you to promise me that no matter what happens, I never want you to lose the love that you found again. I never want you to ever feel like you have to live and fight in darkness alone. There’s so much happiness you’ve made for us. All of us.”

Shadowblossom swept her tail over his shoulders, pulling him close. "How could I ever go back to the darkness when you've created a sun just for me? I will mourn every moment until I see you again, but I promise I will live for you and me. For our kits and grandkits. Our clan has not yet outrun their use for me, I will not turn my back on our family. I promise I will never get lost in that darkness again. We fought too hard to stand in the light."