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Post by antpelts on Feb 28, 2017 19:22:33 GMT -5
"O-Oh yeah. Chinese food. Totally," Quentin stuttered out, coming back to his senses. His breath caught when their fingers brushed and embarrassed at this he dropped his gaze briefly. But before long he looked back up at Simon, smiling a tiny bit. The kiss was great, it had been a while since he'd been kissed but he also felt weird..worried. He had no way of really knowing Simon's intentions. Was it something akin to an accident, they had been laying close to each other. Was it because Simon liked boys but didn't have a boyfriend, was it just because he was a boy -- or did Simon like him specifically. He tried to block out all the worries, sitting up reluctantly.
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Feb 28, 2017 21:32:51 GMT -5
"Awesome, wanna go to the buffet? " He suggested, glancing down for a moment at his hands before looking back up at Quen with a shy expression- oh god, what did he just do? What if he thought that Simon was just some guy looking for a hook up, or that he didn't actually like Quen? What if he just messed everything up, like he did last time? Should he even care, given that he had other things to worry about? This thing was already messing with his head, not that it was a bad thing. He ran a hand through his hair, looking a little said when Quen moved to sit up, wishing they could stay just a moment longer. "They do have the best fried dough in the city," he added, trying to hide his uncertainty. He stiffened when his phone buzzed, the screen lighting up near Quens knee, he could barely make out the words "mom", with no doubt more links to webmd and other medical sights, her trying to tell him what might happen, like she had been for the day.
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Post by antpelts on Feb 28, 2017 22:13:03 GMT -5
(sorry i disappeared to play some legend of zelda lol.)
Quentin gave a quiet laugh, trying to steady himself emotionally after everything that just happened. "Yeah..that sounds really nice." Trailing off he let his gaze flick over to Simon's phone before he could read anything he stood up, looking away. He hated to pry so he'd made sure not to read anything. He knew he'd hate it if someone read messages on his phone. "Sounds like you're pretty popular, huh?" Quentin tried joking, the mood was feeling too heavy, too serious now. The kiss was definitely something they should talk about but it got him so worked up and flustered to think about the implications.
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Feb 28, 2017 22:22:25 GMT -5
(Legit reason omg I disappeared too cuz I had my ASL class) The small smile that had been plastered on Simons face quickly fell as he grabbed the phone and scanned the messages, throat tightening when he saw that he was right- they where all from his mom, all on research about this disease and the medicines- and how horrible they seemed to be, all of the side effects listed on his phone. He rolled his eyes, sending out a text along the lines of "I'm happy you're trying to help, but you're making things worse. stop." before forcing a smile back onto his face. "Nah. Its just my mom, she's one of those serial texters." He managed, his mind now onto what he had in store tomorrow, what might happen, but when he looked back at the curly haired boy his mind went back to the kiss, unsure how they would be now, wanting things to be simple between them, he wanted to let him know he just didn't kiss anybody, and if he had to be honest, he'd had a minor crush on Quen for a while now, and it evolved to a larger one since they began to talk during last years band camp when they had a visual together.
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Post by antpelts on Feb 28, 2017 22:36:05 GMT -5
Quentin's brows furrowed when he saw Simon's reaction to the text. But once the other kid looked back up at him he forced a smile onto his face, though it was weak. "Everything okay?" He asked a bit softly, other people's emotions were always a strange subject for him to traverse. But considering the state Simon had been after school..something more serious could be happening. It was enticing to think about just getting food and forgetting about everything but..he was still feeling some concern.
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Feb 28, 2017 22:48:15 GMT -5
Simon hesitated, looking down at his phone for a moment, weighing his options... It would be nice to tell someone what was going on, someone who wouldn't obsess like his mom or Emma- no one could obsess like those two. He had the urge to tell Quen, who was clearly worried, considering the kid never seemed to ask about others emotions (at least from what he had seen in band.). Honestly, it would be best if he could tell him, but wouldn't that be weird? Telling someone after the first time they hung out? But what if... What if things do get more serious with him? Not that I would be thinking about that... But what if he does like me? Wouldn't it be right to tell him? Ugh I don't even know. He rubbed the back of his head, before shaking his head. "Honestly? Not really. I, ah, got some bad news at lunch and I've been a mess since, sorry," He explained, heart tightening as he broached the subject, sliding off of the bed and glancing at Quen.
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Post by antpelts on Feb 28, 2017 22:57:17 GMT -5
Quentin's shoulders tensed a bit, this stuff was always tough. Back when one of his childhood friends, Patrick, moved they had a huge fight. Mostly it stemmed from Quentin's inability to read situations or really get emotions. But..it wasn't like he couldn't, he just tended to run his mouth and he wasn't always careful. But after Patrick he tried to step lightly, not wanting to lose another person because of his own issues with others.
So he took a breath and let his shoulders relax, only half looking at Simon. Eye contact made it harder. He already sucked at talking through emotions. "You don't gotta apologize..sure it's not your fault." It was open ended. They could shut the conversation down there or Simon could push it further.
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Feb 28, 2017 23:09:45 GMT -5
"It kind of is, actually," He said with a bitter laugh, shaking his head. He couldn't believe he just said that, but, thinking about it, he could have gone straight to the doctors after the second week of his leg hurting, instead of waiting for another month, waiting until the point that he couldn't walk without using ibuprofen and his mom noticing the slight swelling in his leg. He should have pushed his mom after the first doctor to go and see an oncologist, but he was too scared to. If he had only done that, the problem might have gone away quicker, he could have gotten treatment, maybe been able to be better by marching season, but now it seemed so big and so terrifying, and he didn't know if he'd be allowed to march. He sent an email about switching him and Carlos's parts- Carlos was on toms and didn't march, and the parts where fairly similar. He explained the situation and sent the email before he had any second thoughts, before he even found out what his treatment plan was. He had been obsessively checking up on treatment plans for bone cancer the past couple of weeks, and all of them looked to be a bit much to take on with marching, and he didn't want to be lagging behind with marching.
The dark haired boy glanced away, eyes darkening as he tried to get a hold of his emotions, feeling the all too familiar feeling of tears well up again before he shut it down, trying to hold it in, not comfortable with expressing his emotions, especially not in front of someone he actually had feelings for. He gave a shaky intake of breath, blinking rapidly to keep control.
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Post by antpelts on Feb 28, 2017 23:14:21 GMT -5
"What do you mean..I..what's wrong, Simon," Quentin took a breath, turning fully to face the other teen now. His heart was pounding he felt pure nerves filling his body. Nervousness wracked him fully, it seemed pretty serious and he was honestly getting worried. First he had a crush on Patrick who moved and had his own problems. Now he'd liked Simon and it was seeming like something was up. The thought was selfish and Quentin regretted it -- but it was his first internal reaction to his thoughts. "Are you gonna be okay like..physically?"
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Feb 28, 2017 23:26:01 GMT -5
Simon let out a soft sigh, taking off his glasses, taking a moment to clean them before answering. He returned back to the bed, sitting on the edge, deciding this wouldn't be the best topic for a car ride. He looked back up, squinting slightly before putting his glasses back on, unsure still what he should tell him- this is the type of stuff that people got left for. Why was he trying to destroy a possible relationship before he started? "I, I don't know," He said, fiddling with the string on his sweater, not sure how to handle this. "I guess you could say that I'm pretty... sick," He whispered, rubbing his temples, his admission quiet enough for no one else to hear.
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Post by antpelts on Mar 1, 2017 17:08:04 GMT -5
Quentin's stomach felt tight, he swallowed thickly before backing up to sit on his bed next to Simon. "Hey I..I can't hear you, man," he spoke softly, as if he would scare Simon away if he was too loud. "You can tell me..but you don't have to. We could always just get dinner." While the thought of being in the dark was scary to him..talking was also scary. Besides, if Simon didn't want to talk about it they didn't have to. So he'd leave it up to Simon.
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Mar 1, 2017 17:27:27 GMT -5
Simon nodded, not verbally responding for a moment, closing his eyes as Quen sat down next to him, feeling himself lean a fraction closer to the curly haired boy. He felt another emotion besides fear sear through his chest when Quen settled down next to him, and Simon did his best to calm himself down, so he could speak louder without losing it. Why was this so hard, telling someone the truth? He leaned closer to Quen, not sure if he could talk much louder than he did before, knee brushing against Quen as he shifted to face him.
" Nah, man. I just didn't realize I was mumbling," He explained once the tightness loosened enough for him to speak again. He could hear the softness in Quens voice, but part of him wanted to spite it, wanted to tell him he was some scared animal, but didn't, knowing very well that he was a scared animal at this point. "I'm... I'm sick. Like, really sick," He repeated, this time louder, but the tremble in his voice was clear.
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Post by antpelts on Mar 1, 2017 17:51:24 GMT -5
Quentin was silent, his fingers moved idly as his hands rested on his knees where he sat. The silence went on longer than he'd wanted but he was purely at a loss. He took in a breath, running a hand through his hair, brushing back the curls. "Are you..going to be okay..?" The way he said okay was definitely implying his real question: is it terminal? A shaking hand found its way to Simon's knee, resting there softly, though he didn't dare move closer, the air between them felt electric. To be plunged so suddenly into this lost feeling -- feeling so helpless while one of the prettiest boys he'd ever met sat across from him -- had his stomach turning. No reaction was the right one in his head.
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Mar 1, 2017 18:00:17 GMT -5
Simon blinked at the hand that found its way to his knee, studying it for a moment, before settling his own hand on his, giving it a quick squeeze before releasing it, his own two hands falling limp on his legs. "I don't know the answer to that one," He responded quietly, sounding almost defeated. "They didn't tell me anything else on the phone besides..." His voice trailed off for a moment, throat tightening as he tried to gather enough courage to say the words out loud: I have cancer. "That I have Stage 3 bone cancer and they want me to start treatments, like this weekend. " He finally said it, and some of the fear escaped from his chest, feeling a little bit better now that he had out in the open. He gave a small, bitter smile, unsure what else to say, eyes looking up at Quen again.
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Post by antpelts on Mar 1, 2017 18:22:37 GMT -5
Quentin opened his mouth briefly before shutting it again, pausing to think about what he wanted to say. Of all the situations to be in this one was up there in things he didn't really know how to approach. His fingers twitched nervously against Simon's knee, breath shuddering slightly. "I.." He was at a loss, unable to return the smile, brows drawing together.
"At least you can like..get treatment right..so.."
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Mar 1, 2017 18:35:43 GMT -5
"Yeah, but because of them I can't march this season. I don't know what's going to happen this year- you can research all you want but you won't know until you actually talk to the doctors, and it's drivIng me insane." He admitted, before grabbing Quens hand again, this time interlacing them with his own, noticing that they where twitching with nerves. He felt guilt shoot through him, suddenly regretting telling him any of this, but he said nothing, his lips thinning into a grimace, deciding not to mention that most cases of his type of cancer at this stage ended with an amputation. "But at least I can get treated." He amended with a small sigh, because it was the treatment that he was the most scared about.
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Post by antpelts on Mar 1, 2017 18:58:58 GMT -5
Quentin felt a faint blush light up his cheeks at the soft contact and he brushed his thumb over the back of Simon's hand. "Yeah..I'm --" Quentin paused, a heavy sigh falling from his lips. "-- I'm really sorry." He bit the inside of his cheek, shoulders feeling tense. Dinner didn't sound as good as it did even just five minutes prior. The nerves filling his stomach were beginning to make him feel sick. Worry had never completely consumed him quite like this before.
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Mar 1, 2017 19:13:31 GMT -5
"Que sera, sera, right?" He said with a small cough, his cheeks turning a pale red as Quens thumb brushed the back of his hand, relieved at both being able to tell someone and the fact that he was actually holding Quens hand. God, what was he, like, fourteen? Getting flustered at the smallest gesture like a hand being held. "I mean, I guess I can't change anything now, just gotta go through with whatever the docs say, right?" He added, realizing that Quen might not know Spanish like he did, so he'd probably have to explain that it mean "what will be, will be," but decided not to for the moment.
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Post by antpelts on Mar 1, 2017 19:21:03 GMT -5
Quentin blinked in slight confusion, the saying going right over his head. Though he didn't dwell on it, squeezing Simon's hand lightly, hoping it would reassure him. "Yeah, all you can do is hope and take advice at this point..which really sucks," Quentin said, biting at his lip a bit. "But you'll get through it, I believe that --" He trailed off, gaze dropping to look at his knees. A blush spread over his cheeks, that last bit was maybe..too affectionate. But on the other hand, Simon had kissed him.
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Mar 1, 2017 19:30:47 GMT -5
(I just laughed out loud at the last sentence oml)
"Thanks, that makes one of us then," He said with a small laugh, as if he where trying to make it sound like a joke, but the laughter didn't reach his eyes for once, and he let out a small sigh, before laying back onto the bed, hand still entwined with Quens, gently pulling on the boys arm as he laid down, closing his eyes as he tried to shut out all of the terrifying ideas in his mind, trying to focus on simply being a normal teen with the guy he liked, the guy he just kissed (and promptly ruined the night, but that was besides the point), but he couldn't. He had way too much going on in the next couple of days, and it was now clouding his thoughts. Not only that, but now how he was worried about Quen, and how he shouldn't have told him anything, because now he seemed worried.
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Post by antpelts on Mar 1, 2017 20:01:51 GMT -5
(omg lol)
Quentin moved with him, leaning back to lay down. "I'm.." He trailed off, staring up at the ceiling. The room had gotten darker around them as the sun had set outside the window. The soft lighting was comforting at least -- easier on the eyes. "I'm really sorry," he ended up spitting out. Tenseness filling his whole body. What was there to say? He was feeling restless, he wanted to throw something or hit something. But neither were good emotional outlets. Everything just sucked sometimes. He was just so mad for Simon, for what was happening to him.
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Mar 1, 2017 20:25:08 GMT -5
"Hey, its not your fault," He mumbled, rolling onto his side so he could get a better look at Quen in the dimly lit room, noticing how tense he was. He let out a soft sigh, setting his forehead on Quens shoulder for a moment, suddenly feeling exhausted. He had no idea how to calm the guy down, he just seemed upset. "Why don't we go and do something?" He suggested, voice muffled partially by the comforter and the boys shoulder, sounding almost defeated. Well, he did feel that way. He hadn't felt any anger , not after lunch when he almost punched a wall, in fact, he didn't feel much else besides a small mixture of fear and defeat, knowing he couldn't do much, so why try? After admitting it, he began to feel a bit more... empty, it overcoming a good portion of the fear that he had been feeling the entire day. Simon moved his head away, wondering if it would be best to give Quen some personal space.
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Post by antpelts on Mar 1, 2017 20:36:37 GMT -5
"Yeah..let's go somewhere," Quentin agreed, while food wasn't on his mind anymore he wanted to get up and move. This wave of emotions was almost startling to him, it felt foreign and entirely new. "Like..the park or..the forest. Where do teens go?" Preoccupying himself sounded like the best plan of action, he didn't know how to talk about the kiss or the issue at hand or anything anymore. Maybe they could run off somewhere like in the cheesy teen movies. They could share a moment on a swingset. Or sitting in his car they'd spill their feelings. Anything was better than the dread that had settled on his chest. He'd grown pretty attached to Simon over the course of band.
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Mar 1, 2017 20:44:34 GMT -5
(omg the attachment part is so trueeee one of my percussion kiddos is coming to my college next year and I kid you not I almost started crying because I was so excited )
"Your asking the band kid slash Orch Dork where teens go? " Simon asked, managing to make a joke out of it, despite how serious the situation seemed to be for the both of them. He took back his hand hesitantly, rolling onto his stomach so he could look at Quen, arching an eyebrow, trying to see if he could lighten the mood. Simons eyes fell on Quens lips momentarily, his mind flashing back to the kiss, and he felt the urge to kiss him again, but refrained, worried about how Quen would take it. Forcing himself to make eye contact he shrugged, the own weight in his chest feeling like a bad knot that he couldn't undo, and he racked his brain for answer. "I dunno. Don't teens do terrifying things like going to non-band parties and, like, I don't know, crazy things?" He shook his head, scrunching up his face in thought. "Forest would be fun, isn't there, like, forest just outside of town? With a lake?" He said thoughtfully, trying to remember. If was honest with himself, if it weren't for band and orchestra Simon would be a complete and utter hermit. Partying and making friends was his older brothers job, who was no doubt throwing a party at their house while his mom was gone on a trip and Simon not at the house. Simon would like nothing more than to have the house completely to himself, practicing his music alone, or watching Netflix, or even playing with his Australian Shephard puppy, Jackie, in the back yard. The types of parties his older brother, Aaron put on where horrifying to Simon and he was usually the one to call the cops on the party when it got so loud that he couldn't sleep, or leave and spend the night at Emmas. He was a bit of a grandma that way.
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Post by antpelts on Mar 1, 2017 20:51:18 GMT -5
(omg nice)
"Yeah. I go there with Edil sometimes and his friends. They're kind of..delinquents. Not my problem though, good kids otherwise," Quentin said, turning to look back at Simon. He managed a soft smile this time, a bit embarrassed that even just eye contact with Simon could get him flustered. He felt so silly, his moods flipping like a switch. Good to bad, good to bad. He could never control it but now a giddiness was building as he thought about just being out somewhere with Simon. Even though it was pretty dark and maybe even a bit scary out he was definitely committed to this forest plan.
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Mar 1, 2017 21:05:19 GMT -5
(She's like the one person who I legitimentaly call my daughter cuz like I've known her since her freshman year/my sophomore year when theatre had "familys" and I decided she would be my "child" and she joined band the year I dropped it but she was a percussionist too and she's gonna move up here with her s/o and i can't wait <3 )
"Eh, delinquents are never that bad, its the partiers that you have to worry about," He responded, his smile growing a bit stronger when Quen smiling back at him. He leaned closer for a moment before backing away, cheeks growing hot when he realized how close he had been to Quens face. He sat up, letting out a small cough, a crooked smile growing on his face, almost apologizing before getting up, socks making a soft thud on the ground. "Lets get going, then, maybe we'll be lucky and not run into anyone," He added, before kicking himself inwardly: it was a Wednesday, who had the time to actually go out and do things? Well, it is first week back, no homework, maybe everyones taking advantage of that. He reasoned with himself, feeling a small stir of excitement at the thought of walking around the forest, alone, with Quen.
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Post by antpelts on Mar 1, 2017 22:22:04 GMT -5
(aw thats nice!!! im close with some other band kids but my best friend of five years got me to join originally. we have a band trip this month im so excited to room with him.)
Quentin's smile grew a bit stronger, more prominent and crooked on his face. A rush went through him, going out on a Wednesday night, he didn't do that much. He definitely wasn't opposed to breaking curfew and exploring the woods until silly hours of the night with a cute boy who he just got overwhelming urges to protect. Digging in his pocket he pulled out his keys, spinning them on the lanyard a bit. "Yeah, wouldn't wanna run into any delinquents," he added, a short chuckle falling from his lips as he headed out of his room.
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Mar 1, 2017 22:29:36 GMT -5
(Aww thats awesome!! That'll be so excited! Is the band trip for Heritage festival?)
Simon let out a noise that was a combination of a laugh, cough, and snort, before following the admittedly-attractive boy out of his room, hands stuffed in his navy blue sweater, feeling more excited than anything. On the bright side, the cops where easy to spot, easy to avoid once curfew hit. They stayed in the high-volume areas, like the parks and main entrance to the lake, never really checking the back roads (this was all according to his brother, of course, he would have never found that out on his own.), so they could easily get away with it. "And how are we gonna do that?" He shot back, walking next to him as they walked out into the quickly darkening world, letting in a small breath, taking in the fresh air and the faint smell of rain. He glanced up, noticing the looming clouds, but paid no mind to them- it was *North Carolina after all, and rain was no strange occurrence to him. He paused at the car, instruments forgotten in his excitement, waiting for it to be unlocked.
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Post by antpelts on Mar 1, 2017 22:33:30 GMT -5
(its for spring break. were going to disney!)
"Carefully?" Quentin offered with a half shrug and a short laugh. "If we gotta run I'll carry you, I'm totally buff enough." He unlocked the car and slid into the driver's seat, starting it up. Once he was buckled he turned up the music, louder but not too loud, they'd still be able to talk over it if they wanted. The weather outside definitely didn't reflect his current mood. Besides, he loved rain. Well -- not being in it. But the sounds and look were nice either way.
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Asexual
sweetclover1
Hi loves, like my posts so I'll reply faster <3
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Post by sweetclover1 on Mar 1, 2017 22:39:25 GMT -5
(-le gasp- band disney trips are my fav tbh especially the like 8 hour bus rides where at the end its 3 am and everyones slap happy its the best.)
"Really? Thats good to know," Simon responded with a smirk, eyes flicking up and down, almost as if he where not too subtly checking him out. Simon swung into the passengers seat, feeling a strange giddy feeling in his chest, completely replacing any of the darker emotions that had been bombarding him the entire day. "Or we could fight 'em, or at least I could, I learned a coupla moves growing up in the city," He added with a wink, before punching the air with "pow-pow" noises, unsure why he was feeling this way. Am I flirting? Don't know. Maybe? I've never done this before. He thought, although not caring much about the thought. For him he was having fun, with Quen, and it was amazing.
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