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Post by Lilystar88 on Apr 1, 2019 13:08:20 GMT -5
not a healthcare professional by any means but like, whats your height? and how long have you been restricting yourself to 1200? it could be you really need more than that but it doesnt start to cause affect until long-term; various nutrient deficiencies often work like that (you won't feel affects for until the month mark or longer for things like B12, calcium, etc) also something worth noting -- while yes, the way to lose weight is by calorie deficit (eating less than you use in a day), that doesn't mean that it can't still be unhealthy. if you're not getting a balanced diet on top of calorie deficiency, you WILL feel hungrier. you'll keep feeling hungry until your body gets the nutrients it craves. that's why you can eat a whole bag of potato chips and still feel famished if your body is craving vitamin C, iron, B12, etc so the problem may be WHAT you're eating rather than how much (in terms of feeling hungry all the time) also it's pretty common to get "tiger hunger" if you've recently stopped eating lots of filler junk. i gave up processed carbs for Lent last year and although i was eating plenty calories, i was almost non-stop hungry for the first week as my body adjusted switching between complex and simple carb intake I'm a tiny one -- only 5' 7''. And on permanent vitamins and b12 cause of bypass. But idek probably 'tiger hunger' that is stress related rather than carb related, strictly speaking. Your problem is trying to lose and maintain a loss of 8 kilos in only 8 weeks. D a n g e r. If you think I had 55 kg to lose over the course of a year a kilo a week is about right...consultant isn't worried.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Apr 1, 2019 3:28:01 GMT -5
Nah 1200 is my ideal; I've tried doing 750, 1000, 1200 and 1500 and 1200 wasn't putting me in survival mode but providing me with optimum weightloss.
It'll be the damn granola. And lack of exercise. But mainly granola.
Death to granola.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 31, 2019 15:19:48 GMT -5
You could be underestimating your calories. For this reason you should always use a food scale to be sure. You can very very easily be Messing it up by measuring and estimating food wrong even a little And you're likely not getting proper nutrients and that's why you feel hungry all the time. Try adding more protein to your diet. Drinking good amounts of water also helps I'll admit protien content is down (because protien SUCKS) but the weird thing is 1200 is my recommended and has worked well for months -- not putting my in starvation mode, but not letting weight loss plateau either. Considering I'm sitting at a ripe 1800 today and I'm still mothering hungry I'm going to guess its stress this is not fair and i want to speak to the manager
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 31, 2019 12:42:43 GMT -5
Might be a thyroid disorder? That organ deals a lot with the metabolism rate. I ain’t no doctor though Nah they checked that shizzle before the bypass. It's probably granola. F*** granola yo.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 31, 2019 12:20:32 GMT -5
Healthcare is collapsing. Doctors do nothing. Besides, they already cut my stomah out theres not much more they can do listen as someone w several chronic health conditions, i know. but if you're gonna ask online, there are much better places than here and i'd not trust the "medical" advice i receive from a catbeardog forum I have a doctor who lives with me I ask her things. Besides, I know many things too. I am a wise woman.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 31, 2019 11:47:32 GMT -5
that's something u see a doctor about, dude Healthcare is collapsing. Doctors do nothing. Besides, they already cut my stomah out theres not much more they can do
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 31, 2019 11:33:41 GMT -5
I'm hungry rn like all the time and I put on .7 kg last week (genuinely only ate 1300 calories a day tho ??) and now I've had lots of food today but I'm STILL HUNGRY and I'm exhausted and don't want to move or do anything or organise anything and monday is coming and also this weight thing is an issue cause I wanna be 80kg by the time I go to italy which is only like 8 week away and I'm now 88.7kg (oh, go google the conversions yourselves americans) and im spiraling so i'm telling a bunch of teenagers on some cat forums because spiral spiral also my snakes are sick I have no money and there's a ****tone of Vaseline in my hair why am i not married yet??????????
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 31, 2019 11:26:20 GMT -5
Okay good god you have a lot of favourite names.
I guess I have some names I LOVE and some not as much. I already have my babies names picked out
Girl #1: Elizabeth Marion Irene Georgianna Margareta Alexandra Franchesca Glorianna (I know, I know, it's a lot) Boy #1: Matthew David John Fane Boy #2: Aedin George Henri Girl #2: Cassandra (or Alessandra) Brid Catherine
Also would name a boy Alexandre and would name quartuplet girls Kayleigh, Keziah, Karliah and K'thara.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 31, 2019 11:21:22 GMT -5
Awkwardly, in my experience, it can and it can't.
I've known loads of people who find it super helpful and it's worked for them. For some people it can be a nightmare because they can only stick to high calorie snacks.
Sometimes it's mega helpful with me, but only if I'm disciplined enough to stick to fruit. Sometimes if I say "its okay, I'll snack" and don't watch it I put on cause all I eat are crispies.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 30, 2019 17:01:16 GMT -5
[[gah it is not. My snakes got sick af so I've spent all day trying to sort that :s ]]
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 30, 2019 17:00:48 GMT -5
Part of Eric really wished the businessman would’ve told Amelia he wasn’t interested anymore. But he knew that would never happen. No man wasn’t interested in her. Suppose he should feel lucky that he was the one who had her, but right now he just felt malcontent she was out on loan. There was no denying how misogynistic that viewpoint was, but there wasn’t many equality and diversity classes for criminal masterminds out there.
“I suppose I better get things organised then. I’ll head to the workshop and get kitted out. I’ll slip you the earrings and bracelet at the party tonight so we can keep in contact,” he said. Then, as he was trying to work out the logistics in his mind of how he was going to get in and the like he stopped in his tracks. The morning sun was still growing taller in the sky, and the light came through the window and hit off the sheen on Amelia’s midnight kissed hair. F***, she was so beautiful. They couldn’t get through this heist fast enough.
Eric casually headed towards the door, his pace leisurely like he hadn’t a care in the world. But at the last moment he whipped around, ran back to Amelia and pulled her body into his. Without warning or permission he pressed his lips to hers; a kiss in which he took her heart just like he took everything else he wanted. Because she’d done the same thing to him without even trying.
“You know, this heist could lead to a lot of money,” he whispered, curling a few strands of spare hair around her ear as he moved closer to it. “Might be enough to end all this; run away to some twee little cottage on a hill; spend our days having picnics and drinking apple cider with our five children.”
Anyone else would’ve heard it as a serious suggestion. But Eric new Amelia. And she knew him. They could be robbing Donald Trump for she cared and it would still not be ‘enough’. He had enough to buy any house they wanted, and enough for college tuition for ten kids and their kids too, but it was still not enough. Because this really wasn’t about money. To be honest, this was because it was fun. And fun is so much more fun when you share it with someone, as Eric had found out the day him and Amelia had robbed their first car together.
It had been a custom Aston Martin thing in a high-tech underground garage in St Louis. The rich guy who owned it had been so furious he’d abandoned the garage. He still owned it, but kept the security codes under lock and key and never used the garage. Fortunately for Eric, he had the lock and key and since the garage had been disused Eric had taken over it as his (and Amelia’s, but mainly his) ‘workshop’. He didn’t stash things there, no, but he did have equipment. Suits with lightweight neoprene woven into them for a little added protection; mics and radios disguised as all sorts of things; fake passports and birth certificates galore; more than one police scanner and some hacking equipment.
After he’d left Amelia and found his way to the workshop, he used said hacking equipment to register tonight’s security co-ordinator as “Adam Wells”. At the same time he sent a bunch of free flights and accommodation to the Maldives to the original security co-ordinator: because he wasn’t an as*hole all the time. Then he lined up the passports and other ID for ‘Adam Wells’ in his pocket, put on one of his lightweight suits and slipped a small pistol with a silencer on the end of it into his belt. The good thing about America was no one questioned a security agent having weapons. In fact, it might be suspicious he wasn’t carrying something bigger. But he rarely needed them; and it would be more satisfying using his fists on the businessman.
By the time the evening came he had sussed the whole place. The owner was an American who’d used his daddy’s money to start a stock market business. According to the guest list the businessman they’d met was small-time in comparison. His name was ‘Jack Henderson’, owned part of Applebee’s or something, who knows, and he spent most of his time in California; which was where he was from. What struck Eric was that clearly he’d not been home in some time; as there wasn’t a tanline on him.
The host was too busy laughing with the ‘waitresses’ he’d hired for the night, so Eric was taking all the invitations and checking their authenticity before inviting them through to the main lounge. Quite a few Russians, a couple of Chinese men and one Spaniard with a gold watch that looked so heavy it would anchor a boat.
The gentle piano music played through the open-plan condominium. Eric kept looking out through the wall-sized windows and sliding doors for any sign of Amelia coming up the paved pathway just outside.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 29, 2019 16:27:23 GMT -5
Ahh sweet!! I’ll start thinking up some plots - do you want to PM about ideas or do it here? PM would be wonderful
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 29, 2019 14:59:58 GMT -5
Hey, I'd love to rp with you if you're willing! I'm always down for supernatural plots... I don't have anything specific in mind rn but I'd be happy to work something out! Les do it! I love supernatural plots. Could literally do anything you want with this.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 29, 2019 14:49:54 GMT -5
I'm probably sticky on it because there are so many conditions where the signs of ovulation can be muddled (PCO, endometriosis, etc). I know women who have thicker cervical mucus and the ovulation sticks are still coming back positive, I know women who's temperature fluctuations outwith ovulation days are the same as when they are ovulating. So many variables can counteract it; using a different thermometer, stress shoving your cycle out a bit, a slight virus pushing your temperature up.
But yes, with the right education, it could be used effectively -- and if I was married it's the method I'd use (not just because I'm catholic but also because I don't want to play hormonal roulette with the contraceptive pill). However, the chances of you slipping up and getting pregnant are higher than on the contraceptive pill, simply because with the contraceptive pill you take out a larger proportion of human error (not including if the person forgets to take the thing, but even then that can be counteracted with the implant). So there's a good few problems with the method; firstly, education. Secondly, it relies on a human constantly recognising and acting in accordance with their cicle. Humans make mistakes. And 14 year old girl humans who have a drunken one night stand are more likely to make mistakes than 24 year old woman humans in stable relationships.
And for what it's worth I think casual/underage sex isn't always the best idea in the world, but we need to recognise that a, this isn't new, for most of human history people did start engaging in adult activities as soon as they hit puberty, but that wasn't necessarily healthy, and that b, teenagers have sex drives and no self control (comparatively), we need to figure out how we help them learn how to navigate that challenge safely. Which means there needs to be a whole lot more talk about the dangly bits, but that's a longer conversation I'll probably get into trouble for.
Health professionals (doctors especially) like to pretend they're gods sometimes. But they're not, they are humans who have seen a sixteen year old girl walk in with a forty year old man and have been able to do nothing about that situation (cause 16=adult here) except recommend a pill that would stop her getting pregnant because a, they can't tell her the relationship is a bad idea and b, they can't educate her in the time they've got to see her. Also, she's sixteen, she'll think a baby is a good idea for one minute and then get pregnant and then change her mind (potentially)
They've seen people crack and crumble under the pressure of getting pregnant again because they thought they'd calculated the dates right, but didn't. They've seen people try to use FABM but due to lack of education just use the rhythm method. They've seen panicked girls have abortions then suffer psychologically for the rest of their lives.
They have ten minute appointments, they know the disasters that can ensue, they can't stop you having sex but they might be able to stop you getting pregnant by giving you pill.
Yes, the hormonal roulette can sometimes be damaging, but so a termination and/or a baby can be more damaging, so it's the lesser of two evils in the mind of many doctors and todays society, for the mass population, it's the best they can currently do. I and many other health professionals really wish we could do better but we don't have the resources currently to do so. That's why FABM are meant for stable couples, not women having one-night stands, because it takes constant communication with one's partner and dedication. but once you get into the rhythm of it, the habit of taking your BBT and checking mucus, it becomes easier over time. i understand that there are health issues that can effect results. I'm pretty sure I have low estrogen levels because my own waking temp is erratic despite consistent recording methods (I plan to see a gyno when I come home for the summer to find out what's going on there). which is why the most reliable methods use a combination of different methods to account for such problems. but more importantly, charting is what can tell a woman something's wrong with her body so she can go see someone about it; in America, NatPro technology is on the rise in ob/gyn offices and is highly effective with tackling too-common issues like endometriosis and PCOS. I personally know many women who use FABM for family planning despite such health issues. It's trickier, but certainly doable when you know what to look for. And unfortunately you're right, too many people just don't want to spend the time or else don't have the opportunity to on proper fertility-awareness education.
I mean this humbly, but FABM actually have a better typical use rate than oral contraceptions despite having more "steps" to it. Sympto-Thermal method (the most successful) has a perfect use of 99.6% and a typical use of 97.2% success. Meanwhile, OC's typical use is only 91%. In fact, FABM is only slightly lower typical use risk than contraception implants (1%). So the idea that FABM isn't as sound of birth control as artificial methods in the average, trained person's life simply isn't true.
and I apologize if it seemed like I was attacking health professionals. My brother is actually a doctor so I understand the strain put on them and the disturbing things they see on a daily basis. I've just had so many personal horror stories of doctors trying to push me on the pill JUST because I was pass puberty, and wouldn't listen to me when I said I had no plan to be sexually active. I've heard similar stories from mom friends whose midwives and OBGYN tried to force them on artificial birth control after hearing they used FABM. It's that kind of willfully ignorant attitude amongst the medical community that bugs me, because it's all too common. Yeah, I mean the method seems both effective as a contraceptive and as a family planning device. When I want to get pregnant you can be sure I'll be up to the nines with ovulation sticks (I won't trust my temperature/cervical mucus because the PCO interferes with it).
I think it's an excellent alternative to the pill for educated woman have monogamous sex. Since you can really get an understanding between you and your partner about when what safety precautions need to be taken.
It is frustrating interacting with medical professionals though who treat you like 'ahh, a young person, CLEARLY that means you're sleeping with seven different sexual partners and a goat every night. Here, take a billion contraceptive pills and a billion std leaflets'. I remember when I declined the HPV vaccine I had nurses and doctors arguing with me constantly about how I was 'opening myself up to disease'. There wasn't an acceptance that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't going to have a seven different sexual partners and a goat in my bed every Saturday night.
I must say when I was doing discharge talks (when a woman is about to leave hospital based maternity care), I more often than not advocated the pill or implant because even if I did tell them how to monitor ovulation signs, a new mum is too tired to remember what I said at that point. However, for mums who declined contraception such as religious mothers I did start to explain some of the things they could use to avoid pregnancy in that case, but reiterated that with a messed up calendar (cause pregnancy messes up yer calendar, obviously) and the uber-fertile state you're in after pregnancy (cause your cervix has just turned into a trap door) we don't recommend it.
So I can understand where medical professionals come from, but also understand how tricky it is when they put you in one box. Had that done plenty of times and not just in the gyn department.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 29, 2019 14:32:45 GMT -5
My grandmother read Warriors with me until she died. She never got to read The Last Hope (she got sick and passed away around the time it came out) and I'm kinda glad she didn't read it. Because it would have killed her. Sorry about your Grandmom. It was upsetting how that arc ended. I think a lot of us older folks read Warriors but few of us admit it. :-) I mean the books are written by older women, aren't they?
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 29, 2019 8:11:22 GMT -5
Wait, does this give me licence to talk about lady-bits now? HUZZAH, my repose to your glorious education of the masses will be in the spoiler bellow. So, basically, everything you said was right. Even though my mother is a GP and I have first year midwife student training, I also had to to a lot of that being self-taught.
I would totally agree with you that birth control is basically hormonal gambling and definitely not to be used willy nilly. I actually have a condition (PCOS) that could be regulated with the contraceptive pill but I refused it on the grounds that it could also make it much worse or give me side effects we have no idea about, because messing with the hormones is like poking a bear sometimes.
However, I would say the level of education needed to use fertility awareness based methods as a method of contraception is so much higher than most of the populations, and there needs to be an awareness that tracking when you're ovulating can vary with so many factors. For example, my temperature is 37.2 today when I normally sit somewhere between 36.6 and 36.8. I'm definitely not ovulating.
There are so many little things like that that women need to be aware of, tiny changes that we don't automatically pay attention to at the moment, and aren't taught to which is a big issue.
There's also the fact that that for a lot of people, mistakes can happen. If the heat of the moment takes you when you're ovulating (more likely due to higher libido during ovulation) and you get pregnant, then you haven't got any other options for avoiding children after that except termination.
And I would still argue that long term contraceptive use is better than even one termination. They're extremely traumatic events even in early pregnancy.
It's why if a teenage girl tells me she's started engaging in adult activities I badger her to get the pill like crazy. Because at the moment a lot of girls don't know enough about their bodies, or have the awareness or self control to use FABM effectively, and terminations are not a contraceptive replacement. They're potentially dangerous and traumatic emotionally and physically, no matter your situation or stance on it (and this is coming from someone in a country were terminations have been free and anonymous for 50+ years).
So I guess that's why I have seen a lot of health professionals get pretty drug happy when it comes to contraception. It's damage control -- right now the education is not being put into girls, so the best we can do to help avoid pregnancy is to hand out progesterone pills like sweeties, and we REALLY want to avoid pregnancy.
Not a great solution -- health education is so much more important -- but it's why we're doing what we're doing rn. Well, here at least. thats why FABM require serious education from a licensed professional. the success rate with those who recieve that education is astronomically high, and has been effectively used by mothers since the 40s i believe
the thing is that teenage girls shouldnt be having sex in the first place (i know people gonna be like THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT but dude, girls barely past puberty should not be sexually active) and of course that cant be prevented if they choose to do so. But that’s a societal sickness, deeply rooted in how we treat sex today in general.
regardless, for catholics, artificial contraceptive use (except for medical purpose) is considered a sin. FABM are the only pregnancy planning method that catholics can use in marriage (for complicated reasons lol). But that’s why I get so defensive when the medical community associates it with the rhythm method, because while the secular community not want to bother, its so frustrating when the med com rejects a perfectly effective form of BC. and like, FABM has been used successfully by catholics for decades now.
also hormonal contraceptive wreck such havoc on women’s body by purposefully inhibiting their natural healthy cycle process. it rarely ever actually solves medical issues like PCOS and really just covers up the symptoms by turning off the cycle.
ugh sorry this topic just always enrages me I'm probably sticky on it because there are so many conditions where the signs of ovulation can be muddled (PCO, endometriosis, etc). I know women who have thicker cervical mucus and the ovulation sticks are still coming back positive, I know women who's temperature fluctuations outwith ovulation days are the same as when they are ovulating. So many variables can counteract it; using a different thermometer, stress shoving your cycle out a bit, a slight virus pushing your temperature up.
But yes, with the right education, it could be used effectively -- and if I was married it's the method I'd use (not just because I'm catholic but also because I don't want to play hormonal roulette with the contraceptive pill). However, the chances of you slipping up and getting pregnant are higher than on the contraceptive pill, simply because with the contraceptive pill you take out a larger proportion of human error (not including if the person forgets to take the thing, but even then that can be counteracted with the implant). So there's a good few problems with the method; firstly, education. Secondly, it relies on a human constantly recognising and acting in accordance with their cicle. Humans make mistakes. And 14 year old girl humans who have a drunken one night stand are more likely to make mistakes than 24 year old woman humans in stable relationships.
And for what it's worth I think casual/underage sex isn't always the best idea in the world, but we need to recognise that a, this isn't new, for most of human history people did start engaging in adult activities as soon as they hit puberty, but that wasn't necessarily healthy, and that b, teenagers have sex drives and no self control (comparatively), we need to figure out how we help them learn how to navigate that challenge safely. Which means there needs to be a whole lot more talk about the dangly bits, but that's a longer conversation I'll probably get into trouble for.
Health professionals (doctors especially) like to pretend they're gods sometimes. But they're not, they are humans who have seen a sixteen year old girl walk in with a forty year old man and have been able to do nothing about that situation (cause 16=adult here) except recommend a pill that would stop her getting pregnant because a, they can't tell her the relationship is a bad idea and b, they can't educate her in the time they've got to see her. Also, she's sixteen, she'll think a baby is a good idea for one minute and then get pregnant and then change her mind (potentially)
They've seen people crack and crumble under the pressure of getting pregnant again because they thought they'd calculated the dates right, but didn't. They've seen people try to use FABM but due to lack of education just use the rhythm method. They've seen panicked girls have abortions then suffer psychologically for the rest of their lives.
They have ten minute appointments, they know the disasters that can ensue, they can't stop you having sex but they might be able to stop you getting pregnant by giving you pill.
Yes, the hormonal roulette can sometimes be damaging, but so a termination and/or a baby can be more damaging, so it's the lesser of two evils in the mind of many doctors and todays society, for the mass population, it's the best they can currently do. I and many other health professionals really wish we could do better but we don't have the resources currently to do so.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 29, 2019 5:06:09 GMT -5
But to clarify the 'safe week' method is notoriously unreliable (see: my gran who had six children and aunt who had eight). I also read somewhere that there was new evidence showing that sperm has the ability to stay alive in the female reproductive tract for a few days in some instances, but I can't source that so feel free to throw trash at me for mentioning it. i actually self-taught myself quite a lot about reproductive health and now i'm gonna go on a long tangent about everything about women's natural reproductive cycles that society never tells them under the cut since some people are probably squeamish about this stuff a woman's cycle is more than just a period every three weeks. a cycle starts the first day after the period ends, and at around two weeks (or the halfway mark) is ovulation -- aka when the ovaries release one (1) egg. it hangs out for a little bit waiting to be fertilized, but if it doesn't then it just dies. the uterus meanwhile, having sensed the estrogen/progesterone increase that follows ovulation, has been building up its lining in preparation for a embryo implantation. but if the egg wasn't fertilized then the lining has no use, so the uterus sheds it-- that's what a menstrual period is, and why it causes cramping. lily is right that sperm can survive inside the woman for a bit-- up to five days, in fact. An egg is only viable for about 24-48 hours. So what this means is that a woman can only get pregnant if she has sex between five days prior and two days after ovulation. the closer you have sex on a woman's ovulation day within that span the more likely she is to get pregnant, but it's only possible within that week-ish span. now what Lily was talking about is called the rhythm method-- an outdated method of birth control in which a woman guesses her ovulation to be somewhere in the middle of her cycle and avoids sex around that time. Obviously that's not always gonna be effective because ovulation isn't so predictable: sometimes it comes early, sometimes it's delayed by outside factors like stress, and women's cycles vary too much to go off generalizations like that. BUT. the thing is, with modern science we now know there are reliable ways for women to figure out their ovulation day, and women can use it to avoid pregnancy without using artificial birth control. it's called fertility-awareness based method (FABM). there are three ways a woman can know scientifically when she's nearing ovulation - first, by temperature. a woman's BBT (basal body temperature) rises slightly when she ovulates. if a woman records her temperature every morning as soon as she wakes up, she will be able to pinpoint exactly when she ovulated each cycle. over the course of several months she can find the pattern and predict when she usually ovulates.
- second, by cervical mucus (this is where it might get TMI for some). all women produce cervical mucus around ovulation: it creates a lower PH balance hospitable to sperm so it can actually survive the woman's rather acidic reproductive system. however the body begins producing this mucus about six days before ovulation occurs, gradually changing in consistency: first it starts out watery and loose, and will gradually thicken and become an egg-white consistency on the day of ovulation which is best for sperm. with a little practice she can accurately identify her mucus, and as soon as she starts to see it, she knows she's entering a fertile window.
- the third way is less work, but involves buying a machine. when a woman thinks she's starting to approach a fertile window, she pees on a little chemical strip every morning. it measures the progesterone in her urine and when there's a sudden influx, it will tell her that she's entering a fertile period.
- a woman can also know by the position of her cervix--if it's low and open she's fertile, if it's high and close she's currently infertile.
most methods use a combination; sympto-thermal (mucus + temperature) is the most popular and reliable. it's also super empowering for women to understand exactly how their own bodies work. it's not just a weird thing happening to you once a month, you know what's going on. and knowing this stuff can be crucial to figuring out other female health stuff -- for instance, lack of cervical mucus is a common sign of low hormone levels, or erratic BBT can be a symptom of many health problems. it's also crucial information for couples with fertility issues, because they can time sex to be on a woman's most fertile days for their best chance of success. FABM are actually very successful for planning pregnancies, i believe with a 98% success rate when used properly (on bar with hormonal contraceptives). problems associated with it almost always arise from use error and not method error -- in other words, the fault of the user because she misread results, didn't consistently chart, etc. or often times people teaching themselves without any guidance from licensed instructors. unfortunately because of this media tends to confuse use effectiveness with method effectiveness. also, the interesting thing is that this knowledge has been around for decades. it's not new at all. however -- and i see this all the time -- so many people including healthcare professional confuse it for the rhythm method. and it's the most frustrating thing EVER, because yes the rhythm method is highly unreliable but FABM aren't! the grip artificial birth control has on woman's health is ridiculously damaging, because fertility-awareness is so important for woman's health but doctors just push BC as the solution to all their problems when it just covers up the symptoms and doesn't solve any of the problems. sorry that really bugs me i'll stop ranting anyways the point is that women's bodies are complex and so cool and learning how they work is so empowering to me as a woman and it's a freaking shame that society just fear-mongers women by not teaching them about their bodies okay im done thats the educational lesson for today Wait, does this give me licence to talk about lady-bits now? HUZZAH, my repose to your glorious education of the masses will be in the spoiler bellow. So, basically, everything you said was right. Even though my mother is a GP and I have first year midwife student training, I also had to to a lot of that being self-taught.
I would totally agree with you that birth control is basically hormonal gambling and definitely not to be used willy nilly. I actually have a condition (PCOS) that could be regulated with the contraceptive pill but I refused it on the grounds that it could also make it much worse or give me side effects we have no idea about, because messing with the hormones is like poking a bear sometimes.
However, I would say the level of education needed to use fertility awareness based methods as a method of contraception is so much higher than most of the populations, and there needs to be an awareness that tracking when you're ovulating can vary with so many factors. For example, my temperature is 37.2 today when I normally sit somewhere between 36.6 and 36.8. I'm definitely not ovulating.
There are so many little things like that that women need to be aware of, tiny changes that we don't automatically pay attention to at the moment, and aren't taught to which is a big issue.
There's also the fact that that for a lot of people, mistakes can happen. If the heat of the moment takes you when you're ovulating (more likely due to higher libido during ovulation) and you get pregnant, then you haven't got any other options for avoiding children after that except termination.
And I would still argue that long term contraceptive use is better than even one termination. They're extremely traumatic events even in early pregnancy.
It's why if a teenage girl tells me she's started engaging in adult activities I badger her to get the pill like crazy. Because at the moment a lot of girls don't know enough about their bodies, or have the awareness or self control to use FABM effectively, and terminations are not a contraceptive replacement. They're potentially dangerous and traumatic emotionally and physically, no matter your situation or stance on it (and this is coming from someone in a country were terminations have been free and anonymous for 50+ years).
So I guess that's why I have seen a lot of health professionals get pretty drug happy when it comes to contraception. It's damage control -- right now the education is not being put into girls, so the best we can do to help avoid pregnancy is to hand out progesterone pills like sweeties, and we REALLY want to avoid pregnancy.
Not a great solution -- health education is so much more important -- but it's why we're doing what we're doing rn. Well, here at least.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 29, 2019 2:41:45 GMT -5
Idek you could come from Sierra Leone and in that case the legal drinking age is like eight or something.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 28, 2019 9:15:59 GMT -5
Also used to think it was possible for a woman to get pregnant any time she had sex because I didn’t know that the fertile period from ovulation only last a week wait... what? god damn it this is why sex education in schools needs to be more than "don't have sex." But to clarify the 'safe week' method is notoriously unreliable (see: my gran who had six children and aunt who had eight). I also read somewhere that there was new evidence showing that sperm has the ability to stay alive in the female reproductive tract for a few days in some instances, but I can't source that so feel free to throw trash at me for mentioning it.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 28, 2019 6:40:03 GMT -5
Well, yes. Christening was Episcopalian but I came back to faith through a ministry that was run by the daughter of a baptist minister, which meant she recommended I go through an adult baptism as well. So I've had two.
Looking back I'm actually really glad I did it. I'd spent years away from being a christian so when I came back to faith it really was new again and the baptism felt like more of a personal commitment, and it's held me strong in times of trial kind of thing.
But I'm not exactly sure when first confession will be because the priest did say he wanted to do me with the children, but then he changed his mind. So I /think/ it's going to be after the easter holidays (after the 13th) but I'm not sure. At my next RCIA class I'll ask him.
And ahh it sounds amazing! But probably a really long day. Thank you for the info though. I'll talk to my cousin and see what our plans are -- we might end up doing the vatican in two days who knows.
Our airbnbs have air con and I've been abroad a few times so I'm used to it -- lots of ice water, cool showers and the like. But thanks for the heads up.
Any tips on how to avoid pickpokets though? I was planning to take minimal things out with me -- just my phone and credit card and passport in the big cities (was thinking of keeping my DLSR for when I'm out in the countryside?). Take it hand bags are a big target? I tend to put stuff in a pouch in my bra most of the time instead (crude, I know, but it's really hard to steal something right next to a boob)
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 28, 2019 6:28:05 GMT -5
[[I'm so sorry response is likely to be tomorrow or saturday cause I gotta do 8 hr of manuscript work today, 4 hr tomorrow and a hike (I know I'm stupid should never have committed to that) ]]
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 28, 2019 6:26:51 GMT -5
Heyyy I would be down for roleplaying too! But my responses might be a little all over the place time wise this month since it’s my last month of school lol. Like one day I might be on super early to respond and one I might be hella late at night, but I’ll always be on to chat and such! Oh don't worry my responses will be slow af too cause I'm busy. This is the issue with us all being adults now. But don't worry about it, would love to rp with you again <3 you got any plot ideas?
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 27, 2019 8:02:41 GMT -5
Ahh thank you <3 I honestly do feel like I am home; my extended family is catholic but my mum didn't raise me catholic (was Episcopalian then like, ???) and I became a christian 7 years ago. It's been a long, convoluted and sometimes painful journey but I started going back to mass with mum in August and when I spoke to the priest about converting in February he said that he'd feel okay letting me take first communion at easter, so I'm excited. Nervous though; standing up in front of everyone and things, but worth it though to finally be a part of the oldest church in history.
And yeah no I figured it would be really busy and while I'm actually a huge fan of the pope (think the work he's done bringing the church back to being a loving organisation as intended by christ is really important) it might be quite un-intimate considering how many people are there.
But the tour sounds amazing -- I think I might do that plus seeing the museums in the day we go to the vatican.
And the public transport info is fantastic, thank you. Worst case scenario we will just call a cab, it'll be the end of our holiday and if we're out of money I'll cry to my mother on the phone and she'll bung me a tenner.
And I'm trying to learn some italian via duolingo and my mother did four years in highschool, so I'll see if she can help, so it'll be enough to show that I wasn't arrogant enough to come to a country and make no attempt with the language but it won't be enough for an actual conversation.
And May 29th to June 6th. So, not deep tourist season, but close enough for it to be a little crowded.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 27, 2019 7:45:29 GMT -5
Yeah, recipe prep times are such liars.
But oh guuurl you read my mind. I write fantasy so I'm very down for that there's a billion characters I can use. Post your ideas!
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 27, 2019 3:00:08 GMT -5
I'm down to rp with you!!! Ya girl has been busy as of late but I just dropped a class cause 20 assinments in 3 weeks for a class that meets twice a week is too much like no lol Ahh I totally know the feeling. Just backed out of voluntary work cause I'm spending all my time cooking for my family. But what plot you wanna do? Anything in particular?
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 26, 2019 16:51:31 GMT -5
“I knew his hand left it too easily,” Eric muttered, crossing his arms and sliding off the bed. Not to say that Amelia wasn’t a worthy distraction; but no one made money by being distracted. As he looked over the side of the briefcase and shook it a little bit he realised there were no secret compartments or places anything could be hidden.
After a little wipe-down with some mild bleach wipes he’d left in the desk drawer the last time they were here he left the case alone and turned back to Amelia. He was serious now; fun and games couldn’t be further from his mind. It was the reason he was the perfect criminal, no matter how tempting Amelia got, he’d always put the job first. He had to. He didn’t have much to offer a woman apart from that (well, that and incredibly good looks and charm and wit, but women worth having usually cared about money and adventure first).
“If he was going to collect something he’d have had to call off the meet by now. Judging that he was taking the case with him, not delivering it there first, means he doesn’t trust whoever he’s going to meet. So it’s someone richer than him. That person might be that that party,” he said. Then he winced internally. Amelia was going to have to play the roll a little longer. More importantly, he was going to have to watch from the sidelines a little longer. That meant he couldn’t get in imposing as a businessman. Unfortunately, Eric really couldn’t pull of waiter either. Security guard? It would have to be that.
Eric looked over to Amelia and sighed. Sometimes it almost irritated him that she was nearly as smart as him and still just treated as a trophy by most of the marks she flirted with. Still, it made her his little secret weapon, and he liked that.
He slowly made his way across the room again, the slight frustration and disappointment that he felt over her continuing the ruse written into his offcast glance. Eric’s fingers found the collar of her blouse and he pressed along the hemline, running his hands downward into the crook of its neckline. He looked up again and found her stare, practically bathing in it for a moment before he finally admitted to himself that she would need to be loaned out again if they were ever going to finish the job.
And Eric never didn’t finish the job. No, he could plan a bank heist or fence a stolen painting, but taking meaningless cash without reason meant that the art form he’d perfected all his life would be lost. And he just couldn’t lose his art.
“I’ll get you an earpiece disguised as some chandelier earrings. I’ll make sure it’s titanium, just in case they have security scanners. It’s a party so they probably won’t. Your mic will be hidden in your bracelet, as usual. Remember not to know anything about politics or economics – just talk about what Kim Kardashian is wearing and how you lost five pounds on a juice cleanse.”
“Wear the Harrods dress or the peach Harvey Nichol’s one…just don’t wear the little red one I got you in Sicily,” he whispered. He let his nose nestle in her hair for a moment, breathing her in before planting a few kisses on her neckline. “That one’s for me and me alone.”
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 26, 2019 16:16:32 GMT -5
I’ve actually been to the Vatican many times because I’m a devote Catholic. My big advice there is to go early like right when it opens to avoid the major crowds— especially the security line to get in, it can get really long around peak tourist times. Totally worth it though, it’s way bigger than you think it is. Please be respectful since it is a center of worship for many: no more than whispers, no shorts and no bare shoulders (security actually wont let you in if you dress that way). Definitely check out the incorrupt saint bodies, there are several. If you desicated a whole afternoon to just the Vatican and its Museums, you could take a nice leisurely pace. See if you can book museum tickets in advance since I think they only let in a certain amount of people per day/at a time. Definitely worth the visit, it’s one of the finest in the world. The Sistine chapel is part of it. Just outside the Vatican walls is a favorite gelato shop of my college’s students for decades call Old Bridge. They give you a hefty portion for your money. Also general advice: gelato should not be more than two or three euro for small/medium sizes. Sometimes shops will surcharge if they think you’re tourists. Public transport is very good, don’t be scared of it. There are just two main metro lines that cross the city but also many buses. A metro ticket is 1.50eu for 100minutes. Check out the Trevi fountain and throw a coin in— its tradition and means you’ll come back to rome someday (I’ve thrown a coin three times in my life and so far its worked lol). Walk by the Coloseum at least to enjoy its size, and the Roman Forum. They’re a combined ticket but imo the coloseums isn’t necessarily any cooler from the inside. Those are all in one area and easily accessible by metro. Capitoline and Palantine hill have amazing views of the city, and the Capitoline museums has been described by my art teaher as one of the best in the world, so check it out if you have time. Those are the highlights. Although why only one day in the city? Took a train from Rome to Ancona and it was pretty easy. Check to see if your train is a high-speed direct train (i.e. just Florence to Rome with no stops) or a regional train. Regional trains have no seat reservations and you can buy them at the station the day-of for cheaper than online. High speed direct trains have assigned seating im pretty sure so probably better to buy those online in advance; I’ve heard other students having to sit in the aisle because it was all reserved seating and there were none left. Regardless, yes, all train stations have self service ticket kiosks in English so don’t frett. Ciampino airport is down the street from my campus. We used it once to go to Budapest, and it is a TINY airport. Only like 10 gates, one terminal. So very easy to get through. Two hours would be plenty of time. Are you getting to Ciampino by public transport from Termini? Because it’s the way I always take to campus so I can explain how to get there. Ugh sorry this took so long for me to reply to. But thank you, so much of this information has been really helpful -- esp about the vatican. I'm actually taking my first communion this easter (nb; I'm an adult convert, not an eight year old) so I'm really excited to see the vatican. It's good to know I could see all the museums in one day. Still questioning about whether or not I should go on a Wednesday for a papal audience though (but that way I can't see the gardens/where St Peter is buried so I'm debating what I should do) Either way, definetly will book tickets. Also will check out that gelato shop, thank you! And yeah, basically, we'll be doing a lot of activity and sight seeing in Florence and tuscany. I want to go out on hikes and wine tours and go to beaches some days and things, so I was hoping since we have (slightly) nicer accomidation when we're in Rome that we would be relaxing a bit more while we're there, spending some days at the place we're staying rather than in the city itself. That being said, we're doing the vatican one day and Rome the other. Also my cousin can't do a lot. She'll faint, basically. And duolingo has not taught me how to explain to doctors in italian that she has a weirdass rare condition yet so.. And yes, we will be going from termani to ciampino via public transport. Probably suitcases in tow. I take it it's possible to get from one to the other pretty easily?
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 26, 2019 13:08:55 GMT -5
Damnit. He was hoping to get it before she’d arrived. Now he looked like a fool; what idiot couldn’t crack a briefcase right in front of him? It was risky to look incompetent in front of anyone; even someone you loved.
What was worse was she wasn’t flustered at all. God, she even waltzed over to the bed and spoke the passcode out like he was a toddler trying to figure out that square peg goes in square hole. It was infuriating, he was almost to the point of telling her to piss off when he saw here there, casually sitting on the bed.
Guilt overtook him at first. How many times had he let his fears get hold of him? They were part of the reason he kept her at arms distance sometimes. Part of the reason he got so angry when things didn’t go to plan. He reminded himself again, Amelia is not here to take you over. Maybe one day he’d really believe it.
Without another word he slipped the combination into the briefcase. A few cog sounds, then a click. The latch flipped open. Eric didn’t know whether to scream or laugh. He opted for neither. Instead he went straight to his favourite distraction.
A sharkish grin crawled over his face, eyes glowing with wicked hunger. He shifted out the pouffe that was between the bed and the desk with one passing kick. Then he crawled onto the bed until he’d reached Amelia. Then he grabbed the side of her legs and pulled her onto him. Once she was securely anchored around his waist he swivelled round so that he was against the headboard and she was on top. By this point he was fervently kissing her and it wasn’t long until his hands were wandering down towards the buckle of his belt.
But before anything else more exciting happened, his eyes caught the sight of the briefcase. By now it had popped open. Instantly he broke away from Amelia and moved her to the side.
“What?!” he said, staring at the empty interior of his stolen possession. “Where’s the f***ing money?!”
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 26, 2019 9:47:22 GMT -5
[[It really does doesn’t it. All I do now is clean bathrooms and budget now. It’s awful why can’t I go play in a pool and eat mcdonalds every day again?]]
Oh for F*CK’S SAKE! Eric wanted to shout. Really, if he heard one more tasteless pick up line or saw clunky sleazy smile away from that excuse of a man he’d march over, pin his face to the table and then educate him on how to treat a lady like Amelia.
Of course, in his time he’d been as tactless, but only once it was a done deal; like if it was a girl he’d bought for the night. The occasion that he’d hire a call-girl was actually pretty often considering he didn’t care to put effort in with women. He didn’t want to wake up in the morning and see them pining for more attention, or worse, see them holding a knife to his neck.
His mind had only changed when he’d been travelling. He’d picked up too much heat in Chicago; cracked the safe belonging to some gang boss who now wanted him dead. So that night with nothing but the clothes on his back he’d stowed away on the back of a lorry destined for a depot just outside Detroit. He’d planned to sneak over the border there and stay in Canada until it had died down.
But then the trucker had stopped at that abysmal little diner and when Eric had gone in for a piss he’d spotted her; a sultry raven-haired girl desperately trying to squeeze some extra dollar bills out of the trucker he was traveling with. He’d had so much fun with her; ordering just a tea without so much as a smile or a compliment and then leaving a twenty dollar tip. All night he’d ignored her, internally cackling as she tried harder and harder to get his attention. Then, at the last minute, just before he left, he dropped his number and said that if she was interested, he’d send one of his rolls royce’s to pick her up for dinner one night.
That was three years ago now. How little he had known back then; thinking that he was going to capture Amelia when in some strange way, she had also captured him. Why else would he be so bothered by the pasty fatso with the receding hairline trying to do the same thing?
But when the aforementioned raised his hand to grasp Amelia’s, he let it leave the briefcase. Oh he wasn’t going to do so for very long, Eric knew, but he didn’t need very long either. He stood up, making sure the chair didn’t make a sound. His shoes were new, but made of soft, high quality leather so they didn’t make a sound as he slipped over, picked up the case and made it to the door. The waitress was on her phone, the businessman still besotted by Amelia. Just before he left the coffee shop he turned around, Amelia’s eyes met his for just a second and he mouthed “first date”. She’d know he meant he’d be where he took her after their first date. They’d used that place a few times now to hide out after a job.
So without waiting any further, he poked his head out the coffee shop door to check for any security cameras surrounding the place; none. Perfect. He waited until there was a few people crossing the road until he went across too and hopped in a taxi sitting at the rank a just a hundred meters down the street. He took the cab to the Ritz-Carlton and nabbed a key for luxury suite 2; the exact same room they’d always used.
But instead of frolicking in happy memories, Eric was slowly worn down by the stress of hacking into the briefcase. Every combination he tried was useless. His tips and tricks just didn’t work. By the time Amelia arrived he was standing over the thing, jacket abandoned and shirt rolled up to his sleeves, glaring at the thing like it had just killed his mother.
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Post by Lilystar88 on Mar 26, 2019 9:08:29 GMT -5
Oh my god I have one of these.
So my little cousin (Jane) was told her brother (Martin) was gay, when she was about 5 years old (nb; Jane is 18 now to this was years ago). She in turn told my other little cousin (Rachel) who was the same age. Now, Rachel wasn't entirely sure what gay meant -- she knew Martin liked musicals and had been in a few amateur productions, so she figured being gay meant you liked musicals. Her dad (Kenneth, who was married to Rachel's mum at the time) also liked musicals so this conversation happened;
Jane: I have a secret Rachel: What? Jane: Martin is gay! Rachel, thinking gay means likes/is in musicals: Oh yeah, so's my dad.
So Jane toddles off and tells me (I was roughly about eight years old) and I thought it was a HUGE family secret that Kenneth was secretly gay. To the point that when Kenneth and Rachel's mum separated when I was sixteen, the first thing that went through my head was "ahh, must've been because of the gay thing".
It wasn't till I was eighteen and put two and two together and said to Rachel one day "wait, you're dad's not actually gay, is he?" and she was like "wtf???" that I realised that the whole thing had been a miscommunication.
And that was how I thought my uncle was secretly gay for far, far too long.
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