|
Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 15, 2019 10:35:36 GMT -5
Its funny reading this thread, and commenting on this bad fic, and I can't help but wonder "OMG I hope somewhere out there people aren't doing the same to my fics !" But then I tell myself, "No, you're a GOOD writer, you're a good writer." . . and would never make Bramblestar a psycho or not have Squirrelflight have a fit over his uh indiscretions? With her temper she would not have held back and been such a, well, mooneyed lump of woe that then runs off or is driven off. I did peek ahead LOL. What I can glean from this writer's page is that would not be open to anything I have to say esp in regards to the actual writing. . . .
Haha same! I think, oh boy, one of mine are going to be put on the worst fics list, but then I think, naw, I'm nowhere near popular enough XD LOL same here. What is your fic? I'd be happy to give it a read!
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 10:40:00 GMT -5
Haha same! I think, oh boy, one of mine are going to be put on the worst fics list, but then I think, naw, I'm nowhere near popular enough XD LOL same here. What is your fic? I'd be happy to give it a read!Thanks I'd be happy to read one of yours as well. I have like 50,000 fics, not that much, but it seems like that much XD Here's my very first one, it gets pretty bad after like chapter 14? I think www.fanfiction.net/s/13086721/1/The-Clans-of-Meadowlark-Forest
|
|
|
Post by scint on Sept 15, 2019 10:40:49 GMT -5
Honestly whenever I feel like my fanfics and original stories are trash, I just reread The Better Choice for clarification.
|
|
foxstep
loves squirrelflight way too much
|
Post by foxstep on Sept 15, 2019 10:49:01 GMT -5
Oof, have fun with that. Every time I reread The Better Choice, I die a little more on the inside. Why would you put yourself through reading it more than once? XD
Good question XD
I read it for the first time a few years ago when I was 10 but over time I forgot what happened so I reread it to see if it was still bad as I remembered, and well... XD
The first time, I didn't understand a lot of the implications and even then it was painful to read but now I do and it just got a thousand times worse
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 10:58:20 GMT -5
Why would you put yourself through reading it more than once? XD
Good question XD
I read it for the first time a few years ago when I was 10 but over time I forgot what happened so I reread it to see if it was still bad as I remembered, and well... XD
The first time, I didn't understand a lot of the implications and even then it was painful to read but now I do and it just got a thousand times worse
Ohh, that makes sense lol
|
|
|
Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 15, 2019 11:33:02 GMT -5
LOL same here. What is your fic? I'd be happy to give it a read! Thanks I'd be happy to read one of yours as well. I have like 50,000 fics, not that much, but it seems like that much XD Here's my very first one, it gets pretty bad after like chapter 14? I think www.fanfiction.net/s/13086721/1/The-Clans-of-Meadowlark-Forest Thanks! Walls of text don't scare me LOL as I am guilty of writing such myself.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 11:39:33 GMT -5
Thanks! Walls of text don't scare me LOL as I am guilty of writing such myself. Haha, really? Do you take your writing seriously, or do you just write for fun?
|
|
|
Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 15, 2019 11:43:44 GMT -5
LOL same here. What is your fic? I'd be happy to give it a read! Thanks I'd be happy to read one of yours as well. I have like 50,000 fics, not that much, but it seems like that much XD Here's my very first one, it gets pretty bad after like chapter 14? I think www.fanfiction.net/s/13086721/1/The-Clans-of-Meadowlark-Forest Started reading and will settle in this eve and give it closer attention. I love the names and the clans. Only thing that is lacking maybe is a little bu it of setting. For example what their camps look like and such and the gathering site. No need to describe in a big info dump but weave in in with the action and dialogue. And yup, MUCH better to read than The Better Choice . Apparently there are a lot of other FanFiction sites out there. I may have to post some of mine out there.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 11:45:07 GMT -5
Started reading and will settle in this eve and give it closer attention. I love the names and the clans. Only thing that is lacking maybe is a little bu it of setting. For example what their camps look like and such and the gathering site. No need to describe in a big info dump but weave in in with the action and dialogue. And yup, MUCH better to read than The Better Choice . Apparently there are a lot of other FanFiction sites out there. I may have to post some of mine out there.
Thanks I have a REALLY hard time with setting the scene, I think it might be because I have a lot of trouble picturing things in my mind
|
|
|
Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 15, 2019 11:54:04 GMT -5
Thanks! Walls of text don't scare me LOL as I am guilty of writing such myself. Haha, really? Do you take your writing seriously, or do you just write for fun? I write the Warrior fan fictions for fun, but I am a published writer with eight books out. They are, not everyone's cup of tea but mostly sci fi with some fantasy and even a story about a tree! Khan: A Maine Coon is perhaps the most successful so far.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 11:55:52 GMT -5
Haha, really? Do you take your writing seriously, or do you just write for fun? I write the Warrior fan fictions for fun, but I am a published writer with eight books out. They are, not everyone's cup of tea but mostly sci fi with some fantasy and even a story about a tree! Khan: A Maine Coon is perhaps the most successful so far.Wow that's amazing!
|
|
|
Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 15, 2019 11:59:11 GMT -5
Started reading and will settle in this eve and give it closer attention. I love the names and the clans. Only thing that is lacking maybe is a little bu it of setting. For example what their camps look like and such and the gathering site. No need to describe in a big info dump but weave in in with the action and dialogue. And yup, MUCH better to read than The Better Choice . Apparently there are a lot of other FanFiction sites out there. I may have to post some of mine out there.
Thanks I have a REALLY hard time with setting the scene, I think it might be because I have a lot of trouble picturing things in my mind You need not go nuts. Just add little details in your dialogue tags or in character's actions. Have your character glance around and take note of the action of rain,. sunlight on the surrounding features. Maybe they notice that something normal is a bit out of wack. Or simply seeing a Clanmate's surroundings. Your Clan sites have a lot of potential for that. The best trick is to imagine what your character is seeing, hearing and sensing while all the talking and action is going on.The reader will fill in the rest with their imaginations.
|
|
|
Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 15, 2019 12:00:07 GMT -5
I write the Warrior fan fictions for fun, but I am a published writer with eight books out. They are, not everyone's cup of tea but mostly sci fi with some fantasy and even a story about a tree! Khan: A Maine Coon is perhaps the most successful so far. Wow that's amazing! Ty :-) But I've had a lot of time to hone my work. Old geezer that I am. LOL If you're game I can take a few snippets of yours and ad setting setail and see if you like it. May not get to it right away but this afternoon maybe.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 12:03:15 GMT -5
Thanks I have a REALLY hard time with setting the scene, I think it might be because I have a lot of trouble picturing things in my mind You need not go nuts. Just add little details in your dialogue tags or in character's actions. Have your character glance around and take note of the action of rain,. sunlight on the surrounding features. Maybe they notice that something normal is a bit out of wack. Or simply seeing a Clanmate's surroundings. Your Clan sites have a lot of potential for that. The best trick is to imagine what your character is seeing, hearing and sensing while all the talking and action is going on.The reader will fill in the rest with their imaginations.That's a great idea, thanks I've been told that this one is an improvement www.fanfiction.net/s/13123729/1/A-Scary-ProphecyI don't really like it though, but other people seem to
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 12:03:46 GMT -5
Wow that's amazing! Ty :-) But I've had a lot of time to hone my work. Old geezer that I am. LOL If you're game I can take a few snippets of yours and ad setting setail and see if you like it. May not get to it right away but this afternoon maybe.That sounds like a fantastic idea Thanks
|
|
|
Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 15, 2019 12:06:44 GMT -5
You need not go nuts. Just add little details in your dialogue tags or in character's actions. Have your character glance around and take note of the action of rain,. sunlight on the surrounding features. Maybe they notice that something normal is a bit out of wack. Or simply seeing a Clanmate's surroundings. Your Clan sites have a lot of potential for that. The best trick is to imagine what your character is seeing, hearing and sensing while all the talking and action is going on.The reader will fill in the rest with their imaginations. That's a great idea, thanks I've been told that this one is an improvement www.fanfiction.net/s/13123729/1/A-Scary-ProphecyI don't really like it though, but other people seem to Yes! That little bit of addition like walking thru snow, and cold drops dripping on her pelt immediately sets the scene. That us really all you need unless the story calls for it, which occasionally happens.
|
|
|
Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 15, 2019 12:09:41 GMT -5
If you want to check mine out just click the title in my sig. It will take you to the main story. In Phantomstar's Corner I have all the links to the shorter spinoff tales. Could always start with one of those and see if you like the characters idea etc.
I'll be back later in the afternoon! Great chattin' with you!
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 12:10:10 GMT -5
Yes! That little bit of addition like walking thru snow, and cold drops dripping on her pelt immediately sets the scene. That us really all you need unless the story calls for it, which occasionally happens. Oh cool so it doesn't have to be one big paragraph of description?
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 12:10:37 GMT -5
If you want to check mine out just click the title in my sig. It will take you to the main story. In Phantomstar's Corner I have all the links to the shorter spinoff tales. Could always start with one of those and see if you like the characters idea etc.
I'll be back later in the afternoon! Great chattin' with you!
I will It was great chatting with you too
|
|
|
Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 15, 2019 15:45:08 GMT -5
Yes! That little bit of addition like walking thru snow, and cold drops dripping on her pelt immediately sets the scene. That us really all you need unless the story calls for it, which occasionally happens. Oh cool so it doesn't have to be one big paragraph of description? Nope. Its better if it is not unless the character is seeing something spectacular or unusual. A sentence or two should suffice, as well as additional; phrases in the action or dialogue tags. Because what happens when you use big info dump paragraphs is you slow the story down and can get stuck using weak verbaiage like was snowing instead of either snowed, or something that shows what the sow is doing like "snow blew on s bitter cold wind, ruffling his pelt" or the like.
|
|
|
Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 15, 2019 15:58:40 GMT -5
If you want to check mine out just click the title in my sig. It will take you to the main story. In Phantomstar's Corner I have all the links to the shorter spinoff tales. Could always start with one of those and see if you like the characters idea etc.
I'll be back later in the afternoon! Great chattin' with you!
I will It was great chatting with you too I was going to attempt to work with your story but can't copy and paste it. If you pick a scene, I can show you how to add setting info without big info dumps and also streamline weak verbiage. Like an example when Parsleypaw 's brother knocks him off his feet. Instead of Parsley[aw was knocked off his feet etc try the stronger verbiage by getting rid of the ws knocked and say
Fennelpaw pounced on Parselypaw. knocking his off his feet . .
then say Parsletpaw's brother rolled off ... etc.
Hope that makes sense.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 16:25:00 GMT -5
I will It was great chatting with you too I was going to attempt to work with your story but can't copy and paste it. If you pick a scene, I can show you how to add setting info without big info dumps and also streamline weak verbiage. Like an example when Parsleypaw 's brother knocks him off his feet. Instead of Parsley[aw was knocked off his feet etc try the stronger verbiage by getting rid of the ws knocked and say
Fennelpaw pounced on Parselypaw. knocking his off his feet . .
then say Parsletpaw's brother rolled off ... etc.
Hope that makes sense.
Thanks Would it be easier if I just inboxed you a different story, that I started, but never posted anywhere?
|
|
|
Post by phantomstar57 on Sept 15, 2019 16:29:58 GMT -5
I was going to attempt to work with your story but can't copy and paste it. If you pick a scene, I can show you how to add setting info without big info dumps and also streamline weak verbiage. Like an example when Parsleypaw 's brother knocks him off his feet. Instead of Parsley[aw was knocked off his feet etc try the stronger verbiage by getting rid of the ws knocked and say
Fennelpaw pounced on Parselypaw. knocking his off his feet . .
then say Parsletpaw's brother rolled off ... etc.
Hope that makes sense.
Thanks Would it be easier if I just inboxed you a different story, that I started, but never posted anywhere? Sure!
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 16:32:26 GMT -5
Thanks Would it be easier if I just inboxed you a different story, that I started, but never posted anywhere? Sure!Thanks I started reading your fic, I love it so far, I find it interesting, that Daisy and Millie, the two ex-kittypets were two of the ones being the most harsh with her
|
|
|
Post by mintedstar/fur🦇 on Sept 15, 2019 16:58:46 GMT -5
Don't mind me, I'm just sitting here grinning over the fact that both of you seem to have met and are having a really helpful discussion which I am totally not making notes on for my own writing.
|
|
Rainbow
Pandean
Ferncloud Deserves Better
|
Post by Pandean on Sept 15, 2019 17:05:26 GMT -5
I can honestly think of a few things. But their fascination with not only cat sex, but cat kidnapping for procreation, and cat **** is just um wtf I know! And like, cats wanting to find mates STRAIGHT out of the nursery, like, you're 12, simmer down The line with Jiovekit being a tramp gets me every time. I guess we have to be glad this person doesn't write full on cat lemons. Though I wouldn't know exactly as I've never fully read The Better Choice (Can you blame me?)
|
|
Rainbow
Pandean
Ferncloud Deserves Better
|
Post by Pandean on Sept 15, 2019 17:06:34 GMT -5
You need not go nuts. Just add little details in your dialogue tags or in character's actions. Have your character glance around and take note of the action of rain,. sunlight on the surrounding features. Maybe they notice that something normal is a bit out of wack. Or simply seeing a Clanmate's surroundings. Your Clan sites have a lot of potential for that. The best trick is to imagine what your character is seeing, hearing and sensing while all the talking and action is going on.The reader will fill in the rest with their imaginations. That's a great idea, thanks I've been told that this one is an improvement www.fanfiction.net/s/13123729/1/A-Scary-ProphecyI don't really like it though, but other people seem to Hey I submitted OCs to that one!! And I liked it!!
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 17:07:41 GMT -5
mintedstar/fur🦇 it's fantastic, we should start a club lol PandeanThere's no details in that fic either, don't worry
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 17:09:27 GMT -5
Hey I submitted OCs to that one!! And I liked it!! Thanks I just thought it was too similar to Lost Stars, with the cat who has seizures, and the strange voice, even though, I started it before I even read AVOS, and before Lost Stars came out, but I don't want to look like I was copying you know?
|
|
Rainbow
Pandean
Ferncloud Deserves Better
|
Post by Pandean on Sept 15, 2019 17:09:52 GMT -5
mintedstar/fur🦇 it's fantastic, we should start a club lol Pandean There's no details in that fic either, don't worry I thought it was decent.Edit: Whoops thought you were talking about your own fic yeah glad there's no descriptive cat...stuff
|
|