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Post by trickster ♥ on Aug 12, 2019 18:35:42 GMT -5
about moving to my university campus next week.
honestly, I was feeling pretty okay about it. but now that it's down to less than a week away, I'm feeling more nervous bc I guess it's more... real. this is the first time I'm living away from home. I do have some college campus/class experience due to going to community college, but obviously this is going to be different, moving into a dorm (with a roommate I've only texted with), a bigger campus, new people idk, a more specific major, and so on.
anyways, I know experiences are different for everyone but I thought I'd get some more intake from anyone that's dealt with this or similar before. is there anything you'd recommend about starting uni? tips, stuff that you wish you did/didn't do going in, etc?
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Post by Skypaw13 on Aug 12, 2019 21:54:31 GMT -5
Oh wow! I'm actually in a very similar situation, but I don't move in until the third week of September. I also have community college experience, but have never actually lived on campus before.
The nice thing is, you won't have too much stress in terms of learning how your classes work, since you're used to testing the waters with your community college professors. That's something I'm surprised most people don't talk about more, because it's actually really rough to be thrown from high school right into university with no transition period. I'm so thankful I had CC as a stepping stone.
I met up with my roommate for lunch last week. I had only texted her prior to that and didn't even know what she looked like until she walked into the restaurant. You might want to consider doing something similar. Hopefully you've talked about the room layout and each know what to expect from each other throughout the year. If you don't, write up a roommate contract ASAP. Even if you don't end up sharing and signing it, just writing it will help you know what you want from your roommate, and hopefully they'll reciprocate.
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Aug 12, 2019 23:34:39 GMT -5
y'all will love it
everyone gets nervous. but that's good, because that means everyone is in the same boat at you! everyone is anxious to fit in and make friends. just as some advice; from what i have seen, few people end up becoming best friends with their first roommate. it happens! but not typically. more often than not y'all will get along fine and be friendly, but end up in different social circles/friend groups, or just not forming "close friend" bonds. so it's important to be on good terms, but don't stress about being super chummy.
for the record, i am a big homebody. i love being around family and my own room. i was SUPER nervous about living away from home at 18 (i did not take CC). but you will quickly spread your wings and grow to love the independence. it's not overwhelming like you may expect, especially if you're in a dorm with a meal plan. its just very freeing living surrounded with adults your own age.
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Post by Skypaw13 on Aug 12, 2019 23:43:31 GMT -5
Saint Ambrosef haha, that's strange, everyone I've ever talked to says your first "random" roommate ends up being your best friend. Even at orientation for my college, the student officer said her first "random" roommate is her now best friend, and her second roommate whom she chose she now hates. I believe I will be best friends with mine, we're like the same person. XD
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Post by ~Absol~Wolf~Scribe~ on Aug 13, 2019 14:49:02 GMT -5
There's a lot of hype built around "the college experience" in America, much of it well-meaning, but from my experience it can put way too much pressure on people to have an amazing time and can set people up with unrealistic expectations (it stings when they're let down). My advice to you is not to be anxious or too expectant going in-- just take it as it comes and embrace it for what it is to you, because it ends up being super different for everyone. Some people have the time of their life and make friends they never forget. Others go through some really rough times trying to figure out "who they are". Some thrive in the independence and never want to return to their parents' houses, while others miss their families and go back home a lot. For most people, it's a mix of these. Whatever it is to you at the time, good or bad, you should never feel like it's wrong. It's what you're going through and so it's right for you. My experience was definitely not the "iconic college experience™". I liked my first roommate and we had a lot of similar interests, but after a certain point we stopped interacting much, and we haven't talked since the year we roomed together. I went in trying to "get done" with all the requirements I could for my major, but now in my last year I feel like I made a mistake in the overall choice of major (definitely take the time to explore, and listen to your heart). I thought I would make tons of amazing life-long friends and hang out with them every day, but I only made a handful of friends (and no real group) I'd consider close and we only see each other every few weeks. On the other hand, I expected professors to be a lot less approachable than they are, but just by initiating a few conversations I have found mentors and friends whose wisdom has guided me through some hard times. I came to college in a toxic relationship, but I learned how to respect myself and get away from that, and now I'm in a relationship with an amazing man who I plan to marry. I went through depression and isolation from various people in my family, and have had moments where I was truly lost about who I was-- but ultimately, I learned how to pick myself up, navigate grief, take care of myself, and withstand any storm. College was not some beautiful experience for me, but it taught me so much more than some picture-perfect cliche could have done. It wasn't "awesome", but it was mine, and that's what makes it right. I urge you not to go in with expectations of anything, good or bad, but just try to make of it what you can. Don't feel like you're letting anyone down if you can't make friends right away-- that's not going to help you have a valuable experience. Be yourself, explore, enjoy the good times, and learn. That's all you can really do. Feel free to message me if you have any questions or concerns.
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Aug 13, 2019 15:06:19 GMT -5
Saint Ambrosef haha, that's strange, everyone I've ever talked to says your first "random" roommate ends up being your best friend. Even at orientation for my college, the student officer said her first "random" roommate is her now best friend, and her second roommate whom she chose she now hates. I believe I will be best friends with mine, we're like the same person. XD It might just be at my uni that this phenomenon occurs then, but i can't think of anyone i know who remained good friends with their first roommate and continued to room with them My theory is that at first y'all kind of cling to one another in the initial orientation, social outings, just trying to navigate the social gatherings together because it's much easier than doing it alone. And this is true with peers in general freshman year. There's like, initial people you hang out with for the first few months, but after everyone begins to settle and actually get to know others, the friend groups shift as people figure out who they actually like hanging out with the most. I saw that happen with everyone. There were a whole bunch of people I'd eat with, go to sport games, etc. and most of them i've hardly spent much time around since my first semester (I'm a junior now). You just realize you never clicked. I know of lots of people (by virtue of a tiny college), but I really only hang out with my little 6-person squad. And that's okay. Find the people you fit with, even if there aren't many. Maybe that includes your roommate, maybe not! EDIT: and to echo ~Absol~Wolf~Scribe~, those friends might not be apparent right away. I was halfway through my first semester before I clicked with anyone.
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Post by trickster ♥ on Aug 24, 2019 12:33:13 GMT -5
thank you for the responses, everyone! sorry for responding so late myself, but for the past week I've been busy adjusting to the new uni life. Skypaw13 good luck when you move in! I've been here for a week now, and while the general experience has been a lot more than I'm used to (especially socially), it's been in a good way. luckily my roommate and I get along very well and we're very similar in personality, opinions, and habits. we're not best friends (as of right now), but we have had some nice long convos and also know when the other person needs space to study or just have alone time. Saint Ambrosef yeah, as I said above, we're not best friends (at least as we've only known each other a week), but we get along very well so far. as long as our relationship stays chill, I'm completely fine with it as it's been. I have met some other people to hang with, as has she, so we aren't relying on each other for everything and there isn't any strain. ~Absol~Wolf~Scribe~ thank you! your post really helped me feel a lot less anxious. I totally see what you mean by the experience being different for everyone, now that I've been here for a bit. I've been doing a lot of new things since this is a new chapter in my life, but at the same time I'm not pushing myself to the point of burning out because I know my limits and that they aren't the same as what others' might be. so far I've had a really good time, but I know once classes get more difficult and etc., that there will be times that aren't as fun or easy for me.
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Lesbian
falconfire
currently watching/reading/playing: haikyuu, avatar: the last airbender, animal crossing new horizon
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Post by falconfire on Aug 25, 2019 16:03:51 GMT -5
There's a lot of hype built around "the college experience" in America, much of it well-meaning, but from my experience it can put way too much pressure on people to have an amazing time and can set people up with unrealistic expectations (it stings when they're let down). My advice to you is not to be anxious or too expectant going in-- just take it as it comes and embrace it for what it is to you, because it ends up being super different for everyone. Some people have the time of their life and make friends they never forget. Others go through some really rough times trying to figure out "who they are". Some thrive in the independence and never want to return to their parents' houses, while others miss their families and go back home a lot. For most people, it's a mix of these. Whatever it is to you at the time, good or bad, you should never feel like it's wrong. It's what you're going through and so it's right for you. My experience was definitely not the "iconic college experience™". I liked my first roommate and we had a lot of similar interests, but after a certain point we stopped interacting much, and we haven't talked since the year we roomed together. I went in trying to "get done" with all the requirements I could for my major, but now in my last year I feel like I made a mistake in the overall choice of major (definitely take the time to explore, and listen to your heart). I thought I would make tons of amazing life-long friends and hang out with them every day, but I only made a handful of friends (and no real group) I'd consider close and we only see each other every few weeks. On the other hand, I expected professors to be a lot less approachable than they are, but just by initiating a few conversations I have found mentors and friends whose wisdom has guided me through some hard times. I came to college in a toxic relationship, but I learned how to respect myself and get away from that, and now I'm in a relationship with an amazing man who I plan to marry. I went through depression and isolation from various people in my family, and have had moments where I was truly lost about who I was-- but ultimately, I learned how to pick myself up, navigate grief, take care of myself, and withstand any storm. College was not some beautiful experience for me, but it taught me so much more than some picture-perfect cliche could have done. It wasn't "awesome", but it was mine, and that's what makes it right. I urge you not to go in with expectations of anything, good or bad, but just try to make of it what you can. Don't feel like you're letting anyone down if you can't make friends right away-- that's not going to help you have a valuable experience. Be yourself, explore, enjoy the good times, and learn. That's all you can really do. Feel free to message me if you have any questions or concerns. :) i'm going into my third year at a state university and this is sort of similar to my experiences. i've met people i liked and talked to, but my closest friends are still people that i knew before college (we're about an hour away from home so a lot of people from our area go here) ... though i'm hoping to try and get involved with more groups this semester and meet more people. i'm also trying to at least get to know my new roommates and stuff a little more than i've done with past roommates. i definitely agree to try and avoid worrying about how it will be, at least as much as you can avoid that. regardless of what exactly happens when you're at college, you will grow and learn about yourself and the world, and that's pretty valuable
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