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H,, hey
Jun 23, 2019 15:37:50 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2019 15:37:50 GMT -5
I recently started seriously considering if I'm trans. Would really appreciate any links to resources you might have.
The whole situation is kind of scary atm. I'm not out yet irl. I've come out to a few online friends and done tiny things like changing my usernames to my preferred name and changing my game characters to male, which made me feel a bit better. My friends are calling me he/him and one of my friends is going above and beyond he's,,, really great I think I would have backed out in fear if he wasn't being as supportive as he is. I don't think (most) of my family will be disapproving, but thinking of coming out is still really scary.
I'm looking for ways to lower my voice without T. Trying to bind with sportsbras and I've read over some masculine makeup tutorials. Idrk what the point in this topic is yet. I guess half coming out post, half asking for advice?
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Non-binary
!Rowanfur
i love SEAGULLS and my GIRLFRIEND
Pronouns: they/them, he/him
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H,, hey
Jun 23, 2019 15:49:45 GMT -5
Post by !Rowanfur on Jun 23, 2019 15:49:45 GMT -5
i guess the first thing i wanna tell u is to be careful with binding, ive been told that even binding 'safely' can warp your ribcage over time... x_x congrats on finding out you're trans! im very proud of you for discovering that about urself. it took me a long time to figure out i was trans myself, so i know it's not really a small feat. second thing i want to say is you shouldnt feel pressured to come out to anyone that you'd be in danger around if you did come out to them. sometimes you can "change their mind" about transness etc but imo its not always worth the emotional toll it takes (and sometimes they never "change their mind"!). coming out to people you feel safe to, though, that's totally fine. anyone worth their salt will want to know about what this means for you and how to make you feel comfortable. figuring out a preferred name, for example, or what pronouns you wanna use, can be difficult at first if you dont try them out with friends first! this post is a little scattered sorry, um, with lowering voice without T, i think there are a few videos i can point you to! this one is the first one i saw on the subject, and you can probably find more on youtube if you just look up 'lowering your voice pre-t/ftm'. id almost suggest a vocal coach if you want to really bank on the lowering your voice without T option! i think those usually cost money but... it's a lot safer than forcing your voice deeper than is safe to do on accident. anyway congrats again!!!
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H,, hey
Jun 23, 2019 16:34:10 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2019 16:34:10 GMT -5
Hi! So I'm not very good at being helpful but any kind of way you bind be careful cuz even with sports bras it can be unsafe
As for lowering your voice pre-T if you like singing, singing with male singers might help (it helps me) I don't really know how to explain it but apparently guys talk from their chest so if you but your hand at the top of your chest and feel it like vibrate usually you're talking more from your chest
I found this out mostly from singing and subconsciously just always talking from that lower range? I know there's videos on YT that explain it better if you want a link I'm sure I can find the one I saw for you c:
Edit: oh and I don't really watch trans ytbers much anymore but I think Aaron Ansuini is a good guy, not sure what videos he really makes anymore but he's cool
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H,, hey
Jun 23, 2019 18:37:44 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2019 18:37:44 GMT -5
Aa tysm Dawn n Wrath! I'll check them out.
And tyyy yEs I saw that video! I watched a few similar ones and have tried practicing a handful of their suggestions! Problem seems to be I lose a lot of emotion when I talk from my chest. I'm sure it'll fix with pratice tho!
Side note: I got my hair cut yesterday to something that still passes as feminine and even though I'm happier now that it's shorter, it still feels... really really oppressive. I was blessed with an androgynous face tho. 💖 I asked my aunt and uncle about if getting a more masculine hairstyle would make it harder to get a job. They're wonerful, so they were honest and said it's entirety possible that interviewers will judge me based off that. I'm literally on the verge of tears right now because it feels so,, suffocating to have to continue presenting female for the sake of just getting by. Pretty sure I'm just gonna say hecc it and get it done in an undercut.
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H,, hey
Jun 23, 2019 18:50:07 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2019 18:50:07 GMT -5
Good luck C: I feel like after a while it does just switch to natural voicing (is that even a word lol)
All hail the androgynous face lol
I don't have a job yet but I feel that like I'm afraid I'm just going to have to "be female" at work to get started on getting some money for my life
I do have an undercut (tho my side hair is growing out again lol) and not only do I personally find it helps me pass it's also so cool in the summer time
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H,, hey
Jun 24, 2019 9:01:14 GMT -5
Post by vakarian on Jun 24, 2019 9:01:14 GMT -5
as soon as you feel safe enough and ready to, i would definitely see a gender therapist. as i'm not trans, i don't have a lot of experience on the subject, but that seems to be one of the most important things to do early on. cutting your hair and practicing with your voice are def good steps to take. i wish u the best, and congratulations <3
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H,, hey
Jun 24, 2019 9:12:25 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by tiger beetle on Jun 24, 2019 9:12:25 GMT -5
unfortunately I don’t really have any resources to share with you, but welcome
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H,, hey
Jun 24, 2019 15:12:17 GMT -5
Post by bullets on Jun 24, 2019 15:12:17 GMT -5
oh hell .. i know very well how that feels my guy this website that my therapist showed me may be of help, even if you aren't a teenager. it has family advice as well as friends and school stuff, and so much more outside of that one page. www.genderspectrum.org/explore-topics/teens/also, if you just so happen to be in the pacific northwest, i found the seattle children's gender clinic resources very helpful as well. again, more geared towards children/teens, but it can still be helpful if you aren't in that age bracket. it includes advice on gender-affirming care, as well as lifelines and legal resources. www.seattlechildrens.org/clinics/gender-clinic/patient-family-resources/i hope this helps. i know what you're going through and how much of a challenge it is. but you'll get there.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2019 15:30:58 GMT -5
Update: I got the haircut. Mom, grandmother, and grandfather are all approving and say it's cute. I also bought some shirts afterwards. Uwu they're big so I hope they will help cover the lines of my sports bra. All the gender therapists in the area are realllly far away from home, so I'm not sure how easy it'll be to get into therapy. Will keep looking around, though!
Thank you for the support, all of you. I really really appreciate it! And tysm for those links, Bullets!
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