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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2019 14:55:59 GMT -5
Do you think it's wrong that some cats just simply aren't interested in the other? Like Squirrel x Ash, and Dove x Bumble, as an example. One-sided relationships.
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Non-binary
!Rowanfur
i love SEAGULLS and my GIRLFRIEND
Pronouns: they/them, he/him
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Post by !Rowanfur on Mar 18, 2019 14:58:55 GMT -5
i mean, one-sided relationships happen irl, too, i don't think it's really wrong?
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Post by ᏞᎪᎠᎽ Ꮎf fᎪᏁᎠᎾms ミ☆ on Mar 18, 2019 15:00:56 GMT -5
It's obviously not wrong. Any relationship in any series, animal, creature, or human. It is never wrong for the person you like to not like you back. It's just what happens sometimes and no one can change or force how they feel.
Ashfur is the prime example of what happens when people are unstable and get faced with rejection for the first time and go off the rails in revenge. #NiceGuys lol
Bumblestripe is an example of how an actual person in real life would handle it. He was bitter and petty for a while when Dovewing at first didn't return his feelings, but now that she ran off with her loser ex-boyfriend, I think he's been good so far, right? I haven't read the rest of AVOS, so i can't know for sure, but last i knew from spoilers, he was okay.
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#71BC53
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Name Colour, Custom Stars
Papillon
Forum Pest
≽^•⩊•^≼♡
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Post by Papillon on Mar 18, 2019 15:25:22 GMT -5
It's called unrequited love and it's a very real thing. Meaning it's normal and not wrong at all, you can't force someone to love you or force yourself to love someone
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Post by Lightflame on Mar 18, 2019 15:28:02 GMT -5
It's sick and wrong. The government should force Squirrelflight to have kits with Ashfur.
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Post by Moonblazer on Mar 18, 2019 15:42:47 GMT -5
Not being interested is not a problem at all. It’s when you do not communicate it and never tell the other person that you no longer like them and string them along, then it’s a problem for me. This is why I had issues with Dovewing and Bumblestripe, and not with Squirrelflight and Ashfur. Squirrelflight told him clearly that she was not interested in him and chose Brambleclaw. Dovewing stayed with Bumblestripe and constantly mooned after Tigerheart and never told him that she was not interested anymore. He thought she still cared for him, and honestly acted naturally confused, and hopeful because she never told him why.
There was 0 communication and it’s unfair to solely blame Bumblestripe and call him some creep when Dovewing never communicated.
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Post by *Ottersplash* on Mar 18, 2019 16:37:43 GMT -5
Pretty much what Moonblazer said. It's fine to not be interested, but you need to be very, very clear about it, which I don't feel Dovewing was.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2019 16:52:27 GMT -5
Not being interested is not a problem at all. It’s when you do not communicate it and never tell the other person that you no longer like them and string them along, then it’s a problem for me. This is why I had issues with Dovewing and Bumblestripe, and not with Squirrelflight and Ashfur. Squirrelflight told him clearly that she was not interested in him and chose Brambleclaw. Dovewing stayed with Bumblestripe and constantly mooned after Tigerheart and never told him that she was not interested anymore. He thought she still cared for him, and honestly acted naturally confused, and hopeful because she never told him why. There was 0 communication and it’s unfair to solely blame Bumblestripe and call him some creep when Dovewing never communicated. So, it isn't creepy for a guy to ask someone single if she can have kids with him? Alright then.
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Post by Moonblazer on Mar 18, 2019 17:18:12 GMT -5
Not being interested is not a problem at all. It’s when you do not communicate it and never tell the other person that you no longer like them and string them along, then it’s a problem for me. This is why I had issues with Dovewing and Bumblestripe, and not with Squirrelflight and Ashfur. Squirrelflight told him clearly that she was not interested in him and chose Brambleclaw. Dovewing stayed with Bumblestripe and constantly mooned after Tigerheart and never told him that she was not interested anymore. He thought she still cared for him, and honestly acted naturally confused, and hopeful because she never told him why. There was 0 communication and it’s unfair to solely blame Bumblestripe and call him some creep when Dovewing never communicated. So, it isn't creepy for a guy to ask someone single if she can have kids with him? Alright then. Not really, if he’s hoping to get back with her and isn’t sure if she’s completely over him. After he was told no, he backed off. He respected her decision and even supported her happiness when she came waltzing in with kits, the thing she never wanted with him. So it was clear it was just because she had loved Tigerheart the whole time. She strung him along. But once Bumblestripe realized she completely wanted nothing to do with him, he backed off. Couples do talk about kids, and broken up couples tend to have one of them who do try and see if they can try again, but Dovewing never told him why exactly she up and never wanted him anymore. But he understood in the end and he wanted her to be happy even though she lied to everyone.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2019 17:19:40 GMT -5
So, it isn't creepy for a guy to ask someone single if she can have kids with him? Alright then. Not really, if he’s hoping to get back with her and isn’t sure if she’s completely over him. After he was told no, he backed off. He respected her decision and even supported her happiness when she came waltzing in with kits, the thing she never wanted with him. So it was clear it was just because she had loved Tigerheart the whole time. She strung him along. But once Bumblestripe realized she completely wanted nothing to do with him, he backed off. Couples do talk about kids, and broken up couples tend to have one of them who do try and see if they can try again, but Dovewing never told him why exactly she up and never wanted him anymore. But he understood in the end and he wanted her to be happy even though she lied to everyone. I don't understand how it's not creepy at all to want kits without two of them both agreeing about the situation, but okay. Agree to disagree.
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Post by Moonblazer on Mar 18, 2019 17:21:30 GMT -5
Not really, if he’s hoping to get back with her and isn’t sure if she’s completely over him. After he was told no, he backed off. He respected her decision and even supported her happiness when she came waltzing in with kits, the thing she never wanted with him. So it was clear it was just because she had loved Tigerheart the whole time. She strung him along. But once Bumblestripe realized she completely wanted nothing to do with him, he backed off. Couples do talk about kids, and broken up couples tend to have one of them who do try and see if they can try again, but Dovewing never told him why exactly she up and never wanted him anymore. But he understood in the end and he wanted her to be happy even though she lied to everyone. I don't understand how it's not creepy at all to want kits without two of them both agreeing about the situation, but okay. Agree to disagree. He’s not forcing her at all though. He asks, she says no, and then he backs off, as it should be. I find it just as nasty for Dovewing to moon and think constantly about Tigerheart and willingly be with Bumblestripe and make him think she loved him when she clearly never did. But yes, we can only agree to disagree I guess
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Mar 18, 2019 17:26:55 GMT -5
Do you think it's wrong that some cats just simply aren't interested in the other? Like Squirrel x Ash, and Dove x Bumble, as an example. One-sided relationships. @dawnstream Can you maybe elaborate on what you mean by this? This question is really vague and I think that's where the confusion is coming in with peoples responses. Are you asking if it's wrong to not like someone who likes you, or are you asking if it's wrong to entertain a relationship with someone you don't like who likes you? Or something different? For example with AshxSquirrel, it wasn't that she wasn't interested in him as much as it was that she realized she wouldn't love him the way she did Brambleclaw and she wasn't over Brambleclaw, and she figured that out during the course of fielding a relationship with him. DovexBumble was more text book "She's just not that into you".
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Post by mymerlincat on Mar 18, 2019 17:30:11 GMT -5
Why would it be wrong?
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2019 17:58:09 GMT -5
Do you think it's wrong that some cats just simply aren't interested in the other? Like Squirrel x Ash, and Dove x Bumble, as an example. One-sided relationships. @dawnstream Can you maybe elaborate on what you mean by this? This question is really vague and I think that's where the confusion is coming in with peoples responses. Are you asking if it's wrong to not like someone who likes you, or are you asking if it's wrong to entertain a relationship with someone you don't like who likes you? Or something different? For example with AshxSquirrel, it wasn't that she wasn't interested in him as much as it was that she realized she wouldn't love him the way she did Brambleclaw and she wasn't over Brambleclaw, and she figured that out during the course of fielding a relationship with him. DovexBumble was more text book "She's just not that into you". The fact that people seem to get mad about Dove not sharing her feelings with Bumble, and Squirrel not sharing hers with Ash. I have seen fans get mad at both characters for not wanting to be with Ash and Bumble, when clearly it has to be on an agreement with both of them. Dove clearly said no about the kits, but he said to "think about it" just after. Ash wouldn't leave Squirrel alone, guilt tripping her to be his mate. Make more sense?
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Mar 18, 2019 18:06:12 GMT -5
@dawnstream Ok thanks for elaborating. So to put it simply, not at all. Ashfur was essentially Squirrelflight's rebound- she didn't realize it but he was. Through dating him she realized she wasn't into him the way she wished she was because she wanted to be over Brambleclaw, and that she still loved Brambleclaw. When she realized this she ended it pretty quickly; he just couldn't accept that.
All I know of DovexBumble is OOTS and at that point I'm pretty sure she made it clear she only thought of him as a friend.
But no, it's not wrong to not like someone back. Feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are. It's not wrong that Bumblestripe had feelings for Dovewing and it's not wrong that she didn't- either way, it can't be controlled. You feel what you feel. Now if at some point she strung him along knowing she didn't like him then that was wrong, but not liking him isn't wrong. The same was true for Bluestar and Thrushpelt- she didn't love him, and even when she realized she didn't love Oakheart she still didn't love him. Love is not a right, you're not entitled to someone's love. Respect and honesty yes but not love.
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Bisexual
신성하지 않은 모든 것의 어머니
なんで私
Kpop isn't a choice, it's a lifestyle
Pronouns: She/Her/Demon Mom
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Post by なんで私 on Mar 18, 2019 18:15:59 GMT -5
Everyone has their different interests in people. I have had many one-sided crushes, heck only ever once the guy I was into had a crush on me!
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Post by Brindlefern on Mar 18, 2019 19:45:58 GMT -5
I've dealt with one-sided crushes before, and I even have one in my own WC fic.
If someone isn't into the other, they are not obligated to like them back, nor is it ever wrong to. It's why despite liking the flawed Dovewing I'm not upset she broke up with Bumblestripe and rejected his advances. She just wasn't into him, she broke up with him so that she wouldn't string him along any further. And although it took her coming back with another cat's kits, he eventually understood and backed off. At most he's hurt and hardened towards Dovewing now, but it's understandable that he's hurt since he loved her and thought she loved him. They were mates in the past after all, but that also means Dovewing's had mixed signals going on. For instance, she doesn't even outright reject his mentioning of them having kits in BrS, which bothers me because I wish she could've just... said No then, just ya know... COMMUNICATED? Like mates SHOULD do? God that was so frustrating, if she didn't want kits with Bumble period she could've said so, rather than anything less than clear other than anything that reads more "Not now, not the time"... but regardless, they aren't mates anymore, she's made it clear she doesn't want his kits in the most literal way, that she loved someone else, and even if it's a cat I don't like her with, it's perfectly fine even despite my issues with them later. And at the very least he shows no signs of throwing a potential full on hissy fit
Which... brings me to number two...
With Ashfur and Squirrelflight it's a different story. Squirrelflight didn't like Ashfur the way he liked her, and felt her heart belonged to Brambleclaw despite everything, thus she did her best to let Ashfur down gently as she can, trying not to upset him or hurt him. And that's fine, she isn't obligated to get with Ashfur if she doesn't feel exactly the same way about him. The issue is Ashfur's entitlement to her, bringing up Brindleface's death when Squirrelflight didn't even know her as a way to blame Brambleclaw thanks to the fact Bramble's father is his mother's murderer. He hardens when she tells him she can't feel the same way, and acts cold to her afterwards. Which is what she DIDN'T WANT TO HAPPEN! She tried to be gentle with him enough, to try not to hurt his feelings the best she could, and he does anyways because he literally feels as though he's entitled to her love. And the naive fans AGREE in believing it's wrong that they aren't mates and DEMONIZE SQUIRRELFLIGHT FOR IT! Despite the fact that it gets so damn bad to where he helped plot to kill her own damn father and HIS LEADER, and attempt to burn her adopted kits alive while she was still at her weakest after the Eclipse fight. She let him down gently, did her best to not hurt him doing so, and he threw a hissy fit about it instead of backing the hell off.
Nobody is EVER obligated to get with a person (Or cat in this case) that they don't feel the same way towards. One-sided attraction happens all the time, it's natural, it can hurt learning the truth if it's not reciprocated, but it's a thing that happens and one shouldn't get beat up for someone not liking them the way they initially did. And if you (General "you") feel the desire to pull an Assfur afterwards, there was something wrong with you from the start and you need to be literally tossed and that's the tea.
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Post by scint on Mar 18, 2019 20:01:43 GMT -5
This wouldn't be such a big problem within the series and the fandom if these cats just, ya know, communicated with one another.
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