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Post by Mosspool on Nov 12, 2018 8:55:48 GMT -5
Stars and Darkness
Intro
Hey everyone! Welcome to "Stars and Darkness"! This is a fic that was specially created for the WFF Potluck. It is also a part of my Tempest series which you can check out here. It's a prelude to my upcoming fic, Wide Awake. The page for this isn't super fancy but hopefully one day I'll get around to making a new, better layout. I hope you enjoy!
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Summary
They say that no one is born evil. Before they grow up and commit such wicked acts, they have a normal upbringing until some key event shapes them into who they turn out to be. But one fateful night, an individual is born evil as the stars align to create one of the deadliest threats that the clans will ever face.
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Post by Mosspool on Nov 12, 2018 9:00:02 GMT -5
Part One
He was born of stars and darkness, formed of flesh and boiling blood.
The night that he was born, the wind whipped around the BreezeClan camp. Everyone crouched inside their dens, the scrubby bushes doing nothing to keep out the chill. The medicine cat, Hareflight, bustled around camp, the gusts of wind causing her long fur to stick up in clumps. She tightly clutched her bundle of herbs in her jaw, eyes narrowed in concentration, and ducked into the nursery, tucked just inside a hollow in the ground.
A pregnant she-cat, Thrushclaw, laid thrashing on the ground. Her tawny fur was soaked with sweat, her swollen belly rippling as she experienced contractions. A black tom huddled nearby, his eyes wide as he stared at his mate.
βAshstrike,β Hareflight hissed. βGo get Thrushclaw some water.β
The tom dashed out of the den as quickly as he could. Hareflight rolled her eyes as he left.
Gazing down at Thrushclaw, Hareflight placed her paw on the pregnant catβs belly. βGet ready to push,β she said softly.
Thrushclaw gasped, shaking her head. βI canβt,β she muttered.
Hareflight responded, her voice firm. βYou can. You have to.β
*** Ashstrike hurried to the stream just outside of camp, nearly tripped over his paws as he did so. He quickly dipped the moss held tightly in his jaws in the trickling water, ensuring that it was thoroughly soaked. He looked up as a fat water droplet hit him square on the head. A rumble of thunder sounded in the distance.
Ashstrike stared at the sky, his blue eyes wide as a star streaked across the sky. The moss fell to the ground. The tom stood there, his jaw dropped open, watching the deep blue expanse above him. Lightning flashed throughout the sky, framed by more stars flying across the sky, disappearing into the distance. The sound of thunder and howling wind filled his ears. It was unlike anything heβd seen before.
He wanted to keep standing there, looking with awe at the display above him, but some gut feeling told him that he had to get back to camp. He hurriedly grabbed the moss from the moor grass where it had fallen and took off running back towards camp.
A yowl of pain greeted him when he returned. He froze, staring in dismay at the nursery. His heart pounded as he waited, alone in camp, unable to move. Finally, Hareflight popped her head out of the den, sorrow filling her eyes when she saw Ashstrike standing there.
βIβm sorry,β the medicine cat murmured.
She padded towards him, the tom wincing when he saw the blood staining her paws.
βIs sheβ¦?β Ashstrike couldnβt finish his sentence.
Hareflight dipped her head. βThere was nothing I could do. The birth was too much for her.β
βThe kits?β Ashstrike asked, his voice barely audible.
βYou have one healthy son,β she informed him.
Ashstrike let out a deep breath. βCan I see him?β
βOf course,β Hareflight said, leading him into the den.
The black tom let out a little whimper upon seeing the nursery. The mossy floor was red with blood. Thrushclawβs body laid in the corner of the den. Hareflight had arranged her so she looked like she was just asleep, curled up in a ball facing the wall. In the middle of the den, wrapped up in a bed of moss, was a small kitten, nearly identical to his father, but with his motherβs amber eyes.
Ashstrike bent over the kit, who let out a small squeak when his father approached. βHeβs beautiful,β he breathed.
Hareflight stood at his shoulder. βIβm going to ask Thornheart to nurse him. Do you have any ideas for names?β
Ashstrike did not hesitate at all.
βStormkit.β
*** The first moon of the kitβs life was ordinary. Thornheart took him in and he grew up alongside her two kits, Briarkit and Rainkit, just one moon older. His father was constantly in the nursery, making sure that his son was warm enough and well-fed, to the point where Thornheart wanted to cuff him over the ear.
But when Stormkit reached his second moon everything began to change. Briarkit and Rainkit were constantly returning from their playtime with scratches and aches, but when asked how they got them, they simply said nothing. Stormkit had not a single cut on him. When Hareflight examined them, she noticed that the scratches were too clean to be from a bramble scratch. She asked the kits if they had been too rough when wrestling but both shook their heads and ran off.
Stormkit began snapping at his father, showing more signs of aggression everyday. Ashstrike was bewildered, he had made sure that even though the kit had lost his mother, he would know nothing but love.
One day, Hareflight called Ashstrike into her den. Before the medicine cat even had a chance to speak, Ashstrike quietly said, βItβs Stormkit, isnβt it.β
Hareflight nodded. βI believe it has been him hurting Briarkit and Rainkit. I spoke to StarClan last night. They told me that something went wrong the night he was born. Thrushclaw was never supposed to die, you should have had a healthy, happy family,β she paused as if she was about to say more, then promptly shut her mouth.
Ashstrike said, βAnd?β
The medicine cat looked him straight in the eye. βYou canβt repeat anything I tell you. Got it?β
The black tom nodded.
βWhen a kit is born, a StarClan cat is always present. They help with the birth, guide the medicine catβs paws. They ensure that every kit is born pure, with a bright future ahead of them.β
Hareflight sighed and Ashstrike could suddenly see the white tingeing her golden fur.
The medicine cat continued, βI couldnβt sense anyone there during Stormkitβs birth. StarClan confirmed it for me. That night, some dark force invaded them. They lost a few warriors.β
βThe falling stars,β Ashstrike murmured.
Hareflight kept talking as if heβd said nothing. βOne of these dark cats must have been present at the birth instead of a StarClan warrior. Iβm sorry, Ashstrike, but your son is only destined for wickedness.β
Ashstrike shook his head. βNo, there must be something that we can do,β he protested.
Hareflight gazed at him sadly. βThereβs not,β she said. βIβm sorry.β
Ashstrike left the medicine den and stood there, watching Stormkit chase a mossball across the clearing. Though Hareflight said there was no stopping his fate, Ashstrike knew he had to try. He would not let his son be lost to the darkness.
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Part Two
They found her at the edge of the territory, bathed in blood, glazed eyes staring at the starry sky that she had loved so much.
Hareflightβs throat had been slashed. She had gone out, hunting for some catmint to prepare for the bleak winter that awaited the clans and she had never come back. Pearstar had sent out a patrol to look for her when night had come and she still hadnβt returned. Ashstrike led the way through the dark territory, following the scent trail, Foxpelt and Petalfrost just behind him.
As soon as Ashstrike had pushed through the heather to see the dark shape lying unmoving on the ground, his heart had sank. He knew who did this. And he knew he was next.
It had been six moons since Hareflight had told him the truth about the night his son was born. Stormkit was now Stormpaw, apprenticed to the aging deputy, Deertail, who, in her own words, βwould not let Stormpaw get away with the amount of foxdung his father let him get away withβ.
When Ashstrike had left the medicine den, he had found Stormkit waiting outside.
βYou should be in your nest,β Ashstrike had told his son.
The kit had just stared at him wordlessly then padded off to his den. After making sure that the kit had truly gone back to the nursery, he had ducked back into Hareflightβs den. The tawny she-cat was mindlessly sorting through herbs but as the black tom entered, she fixed him with a pointed gaze.
βHe heard us, didnβt he,β she had said.
Now Ashstrike knew that whatever being had influenced his son knew that Hareflight was onto them. But now she was dead, unable to speak to anyone except Pearstar perhaps. She didnβt even have an apprentice. The clan was left with no one to heal them, no one to connect with StarClan. They were even more vulnerable to dark forces now.
Foxpelt and Petalfrost had carried the limp body back to camp, where Pearstar nervously waited. Ashstrike remembered that the medicine cat was Pearstarβs sister with a wince.
Upon seeing his sisterβs body, Pearstar swayed back and forth, looking as if he was on the verge of collapse at any moment.
βWho did this?β Pearstar mumbled.
Ashstrike closed his eyes. Did he protect his own kin and reveal that Stormpaw had killed a clanmate or stay true to his clan leader? If only Thrushclaw was here to help him.
βCan I speak to you alone for a moment please?β he finally said.
Pearstar dipped his head and Ashstrike guided the grieving leader towards his den. He hoped that Hareflight had told her brother anything, no matter how trivial the information. But the shock on the leaderβs face when Ashstrike had revealed the secret surrounding Stormpaw told him the truth. Though he hated to give up his son as a killer, telling Pearstar had brought him a little comfort. Now he wasnβt alone in this dark reality. Pearstar would have his back.
βAshstrike,β Pearstar began, getting over his surprise. βYou have some tough decisions to make.β
βMe?β Ashstrike exclaimed. βBut youβre clan leader! Shouldnβt you be the one making all the decisions?β
Pearstar kept his voice steady. βYouβve already lost your mate. It would be devastating to lose your son as well. Which, if I had to choose, would happen. If Stormpaw is as evil as you say, it would be best to kill him before he hurts anyone else.β
Ashstrikeβs mind whirled as he processed what his leader had just said. Kill his son? No matter what Stormpaw did, he still loved him. He couldnβt lose another family member.
βWhat if Stormpaw is just possessed?β the black tom suggested. βI can go talk to StarClan.β
βOnly leaders and medicine cats can speak to StarClan,β Pearstar reminded him. βAnd I doubt that heβs possessed. If what Hareflight told you is true, then he is plainly evil.β
Ashstrike sighed. βPlease let me try,β he begged. βPlease.β
Pearstar repeated himself, βOnly medicine cats may speak to StarClan.β
Ashstrike blurted his next words out before he could stop himself, βThen Iβll be the new medicine cat.β
βAshstrike,β Pearstar said, slowly. βThis is highly irregular-β
The black tom cut him off. βWe need a new medicine cat. I know the basic herbs. Remember when I had greencough as an apprentice? I spent so long in the medicine den, I picked up the basics. The rest I can learn from StarClan or the other clansβ medicine cats. Please.β
Pearstar thought it over for a moment. βFine,β he snapped. βBut only because Berrypoolβs kit are moons from being apprenticed and none of them seem interested in the position.β
Thanking his leader, Ashstrike dashed out of the den. He had to get to the Looking Pool, where they met with StarClan as quickly as possible. He didnβt have much time.
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Post by Mosspool on Nov 12, 2018 9:00:26 GMT -5
extra save just in case
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Post by Mosspool on Nov 12, 2018 9:01:01 GMT -5
Okay we're now open! I'll have part one up later this morning
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Post by Mosspool on Nov 12, 2018 11:53:37 GMT -5
Part one is now up!
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Post by phantomstar57 on Nov 12, 2018 12:14:36 GMT -5
Good start. And an interesting premise, in why the birth was different. I look forward to what comes next.
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Post by Mosspool on Nov 12, 2018 14:37:53 GMT -5
Thanks Phantom!
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Post by Maplestone360 on Nov 12, 2018 15:51:04 GMT -5
Bookmarked! :3
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Post by mintedstar/furπ¦ on Nov 12, 2018 20:02:47 GMT -5
Oh boy! I have no clue how this will go and I'm just sitting here on Ash's side. o.o
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Post by β²ΟΞΉΠΊΞ±ΖΟ
ΡΡβ² on Nov 12, 2018 23:13:42 GMT -5
Very nice beginning! I'm ager to see more c:
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Post by MissMisty on Nov 13, 2018 0:08:19 GMT -5
I love it! Can't wait to see where this goes!
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Post by Mosspool on Nov 13, 2018 7:00:32 GMT -5
Thank you everyone! I should have part two up this afternoon.
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Nov 13, 2018 11:36:25 GMT -5
Ooh, nice beginning! I love your first sentence - it sets up such a creepy, fantasy atmosphere. The idea of dark forces deliberately sabotaging Stormkit's birth is very interesting... Can't wait to see where you take that. And oh dear, poor Ashstrike! I'm also cheering him on, but I suspect it'll be a tough ride for him o.o
Looking forward to the next part c:
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Post by mintedstar/furπ¦ on Nov 13, 2018 15:32:40 GMT -5
Looking forward to it!
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Post by Mosspool on Nov 13, 2018 19:49:45 GMT -5
~Sapphire~ Thanks so much!
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Post by Mosspool on Nov 13, 2018 19:53:55 GMT -5
Part 2 is now up!
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Post by Β» ΡΠ½Ξ±dΟΟ βοΈ on Nov 13, 2018 20:31:35 GMT -5
Ooh, nice beginning! I love your first sentence - it sets up such a creepy, fantasy atmosphere. The idea of dark forces deliberately sabotaging Stormkit's birth is very interesting... Can't wait to see where you take that. And oh dear, poor Ashstrike! I'm also cheering him on, but I suspect it'll be a tough ride for him o.o Looking forward to the next part c: Saph literally took the words out of my mouth. Moss, you are so darn creative and you clearly have a knack for fantasy which is my FAVORITE genre. <3 I haven't finished reading everything here yet but great job so far!!
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Post by phantomstar57 on Nov 13, 2018 21:53:59 GMT -5
I love the story. Your premise using the "born evil" is orignal and promises to be a different type of tale than the usual that one sees with this theme. Only one et peeve. . .the overuse of the word and phrasing with "had"
It bugs me so much it does distract my reading so just a bit of advice on the matter. Here, (in the spoiler) in this short passage we see eight instances of "had" When i a flashback, you need only use it at the beginning to indicate a remembrance."It had been six moons since Hareflight had told him the truth about the night his son was born. Stormkit was now Stormpaw, apprenticed to the aging deputy, Deertail, who, in her own words, βwould not let Stormpaw get away with the amount of foxdung his father let him get away withβ.
When Ashstrike had left the medicine den, he had found Stormkit waiting outside.
βYou should be in your nest,β Ashstrike had told his son.
The kit had just stared at him wordlessly then padded off to his den. After making sure that the kit had truly gone back to the nursery, he had ducked back into Hareflightβs den. The tawny she-cat was mindlessly sorting through herbs but as the black tom entered, she fixed him with a pointed gaze.
βHe heard us, didnβt he,β she had said.
With streamlining one can eliminate the redundancies yet still show the reader it is a scene from the past. Now as I read the entire story, I felt it was shown in the "present", with a few thoughts harking back to what happens, thus the plethora of had this or that is unnecessary. Example;
They found her at the edge of the territory, bathed in blood, glazed eyes staring at the starry sky that she loved so much.
Hareflightβs throat had been slashed. She had gone out, hunting for some catmint to prepare for the bleak winter that awaited the clans and she never come back. Pearstar sent out a patrol to look for her when she never returned after nightfall. Ashstrike led the way through the dark territory, following the scent trail, Foxpelt and Petalfrost just behind him.
As soon as Ashstrike pushed through the heather to see the dark shape lying unmoving on the ground, his heart sank. He knew who did this, and knew he was next.
Six moons ago Hareflight had told him the truth about the night his son was born. Stormkit was now Stormpaw, apprenticed to the aging deputy, Deertail, who, in her own words, βwould not let Stormpaw get away with the amount of foxdung his father let him get away withβ.
When Ashstrike left the medicine den that night, he found Stormkit waiting outside.
βYou should be in your nest,β Ashstrike told his son.
The kit just stared at him wordlessly then padded off to his den. After making sure that the kit truly returned back to the nursery, he ducked back into Hareflightβs den. The tawny she-cat was mindlessly sorting through herbs but as the black tom entered, she fixed him with a pointed gaze.
βHe heard us, didnβt he,β she said.
I hope this is helpful. I know I can drive people crazy with me peeeves in writing LOL. But I only strive to help. If I didn't think it worthy of m time I'd not say much. Your writing is otherwise wonderful and the storytelling ability excellent. Ping me with each ne chapter and DO Fan me!
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Hyenafang
"I do not support Seaworld or any Marine Parks that exploit Cenaceans!"
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Post by Hyenafang on Nov 13, 2018 22:36:34 GMT -5
Love it, can't wait for part 3!
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Post by Dingoleap on Nov 14, 2018 2:29:38 GMT -5
Not gonna lie, my first though was βaw yes, a fellow Stormkit!
I very much enjoyed the first two parts, Moss! Iβll definitely try to write up a review over the next two days! Iβm going to start, though, by saying that Stormkitβs character is intensely creepy. Thereβs something about standing still, staring and not saying anything - perhaps because itβs such unnatural behaviour - that is unsettling to read about.
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Nov 14, 2018 12:45:40 GMT -5
That got dramatic fast o.o I love how you show the Stormpaw's pure evil - Stormpaw has a very creepy aura about him, and no scruples at all about what he'll do. I'm honestly scared for Ashstrike, he'd better be on his lookout...
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Post by Mosspool on Nov 14, 2018 15:16:45 GMT -5
Β» ΡΠ½Ξ±dΟΟ βοΈ Thank you so much! That means a lot c: phantomstar57 Thanks for the advice! I really do appreciate it. I'll go through a do an edit when I have a chance. Hyenafang Thanks! It will hopefully be up later today. Dingoleap xD Thanks so much! ~Sapphire~ Even I'm scared for Ashstrike and I know what's going to happen xD
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Post by mintedstar/furπ¦ on Nov 16, 2018 14:45:44 GMT -5
It's not a comfort that you're scared for Ash. o.o Not at all. Don't hurt my faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavorite.
I love this part, very honestly. I've never heard of this sort of thing happening, so I have no clue where it's going to go. I'm really looking forward to the next part!
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Post by phantomstar57 on Nov 16, 2018 18:44:43 GMT -5
I agree with Minted! Its a different twist on the "born evil" theme. Can't wait to read more.
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