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Post by silv on Aug 9, 2016 9:43:47 GMT -5
haha i feel really at a loss right now, it's almost one year since the start of my relationship with my boyfriend, but we're in a rough patch right now, we recently had disagreements and all... and we almost ended it, and it just hurts really bad. i don't know whether to hold on or not, if it's worth it, i have major assessments coming up and i'm afraid ending it will eat up too much of my emotions and cause me to be really... broken. i'm really emotionally attached to him but i don't know anymore, it just hurts, i don't know if he likes me for me even, he barely tells me things he used to before, he rarely seems to care anymore, he doesn't even seem to want me there anymore. and is it normal for guys to notice their ex crushes even if they're dating you now? i mean yeah we all appreciate good looking people, but the idea hurts. and also, we rarely do spend much time together, i mean we do have our own times, but i feel it isn't quality time y'know? we don't decide to just go out to embrace each other's company. plus he isn't the type to be comfortable to be affectionate, but i am, so i don't know if i should try to work it out anymore... sometimes, he makes me feel like the happiest girl ever, but sometimes, these days, it feels so quiet.. sigh sorry just needed somewhere to release and plus no one will probably judge me here, i would really appreciate some thoughts and advice. :c
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2016 10:25:56 GMT -5
The best thing you can probably do is just be honest and tell him everything you're feeling. Maybe he'll understand and try to put more effort into the relationship. If not, then maybe he's not the right one.
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Post by silv on Aug 10, 2016 0:03:08 GMT -5
@bleak awww thank you dearie c,:
@spotted I can see what you mean, but I really don't want to pressurize him as well if he's not up to it since it's not really the right time :c so it's either I deal with all this or let go but it's just so hard :c
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2016 0:04:33 GMT -5
yeah i know what you mean. There's always the option of taking a short break until things settled down again. It definitely is a hard decision, but I'm sure you can figure it out.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2016 0:05:31 GMT -5
just be honest and tell him
if you're feeling more unhappy rn than happy-- like if you spend more of your time upset/worrying than you spend happy w him and happy w your relationship-- it may be time to end it. idk i have a p low tolerance for this kinda stuff i guess ?? but honestly if you're that stressed out about this relationship, it may be best to end it. like yeah relationships have rough patches but how good are the good times and how bad are the bad times? are the good times good enough to balance out the bad?
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Post by Northstar3213 on Aug 10, 2016 0:11:02 GMT -5
The biggest question for yourself should be "Am I happy?" If the answer is no, consider the question, "is this relationship making me feel worse about myself now as opposed to when it began?" If yes, you might need to consider breaking it off. Your happiness should mean more to you than his happiness. You have your own life and it is valuable. You don't need to be wasting it on feeling bad or going out of your way trying to please someone else. People come and go, but you're stuck with yourself. And if he does anything to make you feel worse about yourself (for example telling you that you are nothing without him or trying to convince you that no one could love you) then that should be last straw (I hope it's not that bad). Honestly I've never been in a relationship, but being single has taught me that I should be just as important to myself as other people are to me. I offer support and comfort.
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IvaKat
Used to be Ivacat/S.E.R. on wcf
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Post by IvaKat on Aug 10, 2016 0:53:24 GMT -5
i think you should break up with him. U seem like a nice person and u deserve someone who will treat u better. It seems like a pretty unhealthy relationship, i hope for the best!!!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2016 1:00:24 GMT -5
Okay, so, here's my two cents. I was in a relationship with a guy for ~three years. For most of that time I was in the same position as you are right now. Can't live without him, wish he'd pay more attention to me, thinking he didn't love me any more, I was getting hurt by it all, wanted to be more lovey doveie but he didn't, etc. I expressed all this to him and even though he said he was sorry, it didn't change. It made a bunch of my friends look at him as the bad guy. We're really close friends now and only LAST NIGHT did he tell me what was really going on. Turns out he and I have a bunch of the same mental illnesses, but our wants are reversed. We both have BPD. It makes me really clingy and obsessive in relationships, but it makes him want to stay distanced and isolated in relationships. We were both depressed at the time and while I told him how hurt I was, he hid it from me because he felt terrible about what it was doing to me and didn't want to burden me with his problems. Also, he has mania depression and just didn't talk to me for certain amounts of time because he was worried about what he might say during a mood swing. It might be best for you to both take a break. Or, have a heart to heart. Really open up to one another. I really think that would have saved our relationship, had we been able to see each other face to face.
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Post by silv on Aug 31, 2016 7:11:34 GMT -5
I read these awhile back on my phone but didn't manage to reply because it's really hard to reply on the forums over phone ^^' haven't been on since then but i really appreciate all the advice, they really helped and gave me some comfort c: thank you for caring <3 and things are much better now, thank god. c,: really thankful for y'all posting!!
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Post by Northstar3213 on Aug 31, 2016 10:08:43 GMT -5
I read these awhile back on my phone but didn't manage to reply because it's really hard to reply on the forums over phone ^^' haven't been on since then but i really appreciate all the advice, they really helped and gave me some comfort c: thank you for caring <3 and things are much better now, thank god. c,: really thankful for y'all posting!! I'm glad things got better
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