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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2016 11:29:05 GMT -5
Which characters would you change how it was written and why?
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Post by Wicked Witch on Nov 12, 2016 21:12:08 GMT -5
probably lionblaze: make him more sincere towards df trainees and be eager with the dark forest stuff like explaining all their tricks, battle moves and even invent his own counter moves to them. cheerful and deadly.
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Post by 𝕡𝕖𝕡𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕥 on Nov 13, 2016 8:21:22 GMT -5
Dovewing would be less annoying, and more mature.
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Post by Jei-Dinofelini on Apr 10, 2017 8:48:02 GMT -5
Dovewing would be less annoying, and more mature. This ^^
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Post by Icefoot on Aug 14, 2017 21:34:35 GMT -5
All of the Dark Forest cats are ridiculously poorly written imo. All the big boys, like Tigerstar, Thistleclaw, Hawkfrost, Brokenstar, etc.. Plus a bigger focus on Dark Forest cats we haven't met yet.
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Post by EthanTheAnnus on Aug 15, 2017 0:24:10 GMT -5
Hmmm... Lemme see... this might take a while... Firestar; firstly, agreeing with Pastybih here and saying he's dead weight. He shouldn't be part of the four. In fact, I'd be quite happy to re-write the books in OOTS and kill him off earlier, but then I think that whole fandom would murder me, so... Dovewing; More mature, like 𝕡𝕖𝕡𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕥 said. Also, less... stupid. And about the whole Tigerheart drama? Well, firstly he would talk to her a lot more (I'm sure Moonkitti said they talked about 5 or 6 times in the entire book, I'm not sure though), they would talk at Gatherings and probably in like the third or fourth book of OOTS they would start sneaking out to meet each other, not before. THE ENTIRE FLIPPING BATTLE AGAINST THE DARK FOREST. Ok, that's not a cat, it's a scene, but seriously. The wasted potiential makes me want to cry. If I wrote it, we would have: - A very different book
- Graystripe, Silverstream and Feathertail fighting side by side.
- Spottedleaf killed a lot quicker than she was.
- Brambleclaw fighting against Tigerstar and Hawkfrost for a short while.
- Whitestorm fighting beside Firestar (remember? Whitestorm was Firestar's first deputy!)
- Graystripe and Lionheart reunite (remember? Graystripe's original mentor!)
- Goldenflower joining Brambleclaw in battle but she refuses to fight Tigerstar.
- Tawnypelt, Goldenflower and Brambleclaw fighting side by side.
- Bluestar overseeing the fight between Tigerstar and Firestar, ready to leap in if Tigerstar wins.
- Jayfeather actually trying to fight alongside Half-Moon. She is coaching him along, helping by telling him where the DF cats are.
- Tigerheart, Dovewing and Bumblestripe setting aside their disagreements to fight side by side.
- Leopardstar being the one to actually kill Tigerstar, since she's still touchy about the whole "TigerClan" thing.
- Ravenpaw and Barley joining Graystripe and Firestar to fight the DF cats.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2017 5:57:54 GMT -5
okay but here's an idea: have some dark forest characters regret their actions and not want to fight with tigerstar? also maybe a look at why they did what they did and ivypool realizing that not all the dark forest cats were/are bad? LionClan would be a thing again! also many more cats dead and more starclanners dead too. It would be much more gruesome and like actual war. Hawkfrost would kill Brambleclaw and be killed in return by Hollyleaf instead of the other way around. Brokenstar would be killed by apprentices and kit spirits. Tigerstar would be killed by gradually fighting most Clan cats and slowly wearing away, so the old prophecy would come true: Lion (lionclan) and tiger (tigerstar) meet in battle. Firestar would still die. Spottedleaf would be dead soon and without much pause for it. Lionblaze would die by Tigerstar, because Lionblaze interpreted said prophecy wrong and was simply too tired out to go on from fighting and killing so many cats. The Fourth would be Breezepelt, who would of course not want to unite, driving the Three into chaos. But they slowly realize Breezepelt is not the Fourth, and they are not in a true sense the Three. The prophecy actually refers to the four Clans, as all clan cats are kin in a way. When they unite as LionClan, they have the power of stars in their paws. The Three have been chosen not as the Three but as messengers to tell the Clans to unite, and there are other messengers as such with similar yet different powers- Breezepelt turns out to be one, for example, and he ironically has the ability to heal. (At the end of OOTS, he realizes his mistakes and while knowing he still will probably go to the DF he decides to try to make up for what he did in life and begins to use his ability). Final deaths among Clan cats include Firestar, Brambleclaw, Sandstorm (she deserves a better death), Ferncloud, Leafpool, Cloudtail, Brightheart, Blackstar, Foxleap, Icecloud, Lionblaze, Mistystar (she's been around for waayyy too long), a few kits, a few apprentices, Crowfeather, Tawnypelt (who'd die avenging her brother and taking on her father and half brother), Briarlight, Daisy, and a lot of unseen characters. Hollyleaf is appointed Hollystar by Squirrelflight, and Ivypool becomes her deputy. Hollystar will have her nine lives given by Lionblaze (a life of determination), Brambleclaw (a life of not prejudicing those on their blood alone), Tawnypelt (a life of knowing where your loyalties lie), Firestar (a life for guiding the Clan), Fallen Leaves (a life for patience and being able to wait), Cinderpelt (a life for being the master of your own deputy), Brightheart (a life of love), and Cloudtail (a life of fighting for not only your own beliefs but others as well). When Hollystar thinks she is done, a small familiar tabby figure approaches. It is Leafpool, who gives her a life of forgiveness. Hollystar forgives her. It would end with an epilogue, the last two sentences also being the first two from Into The Wild as a full bookend of the series. Jayfeather (and his new apprentice Alderpaw, who is obviously not the child of Squirrel and Bramble here) along with Hollystar receives a prophecy of hope- The Lion has come to defend its land. The Four have united, lasting forever under the stars. Fire will continue to save the Clans in ways never imagined, and the Clan will be protected for eons to come. This is how it always has been, and this is how it always will be. After his words, there was a pause of gratitude and sadness. The fire had burned out, but what it left in its cinders were just as promising. The moon above them flowed down on the granite stones of the forest, turning them silver. Their silence was only broken by ripples of water from swift black rivers and whispers from the forest beyond... Also ashfur would go to the dark forest. He sucks.
(that's not really one change but lol what can you do)
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